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[anaid-queen]

So, in that 2x04 argument transcription I'm debating Armand's "... and more and more of them.... they got through" as to whether that's in context of where Louis makes a jab about calling Lestat (as in, Armand making calls to Lestat when Louis was not around?), or if Armand is perhaps referencing Louis' buried memories. How are you interpreting that part?

A little bit of both is my gut feeling (if that transcript is, indeed, accurate).

Like... I do think it's mostly memories of Lestat coming through, of their time... and especially of what Louis is then suppressing - or what is suppressed for him.

Given 2x05 starts with a wholly different relationship scene it stands to reason imho that Armand "tinkered" again, after this. Buried the memories again, after.

Louis taunting Armand there is very interesting though. I mean, we see in 2x05 that Louis knew Armand called Lestat... several times. And if the transcript is correct then that thought is always on the back-burner of Louis' mind. But what Louis says there is the same thing that actually happens when he is talking to "Dreamstat" there - "Lestat" is hyping him up, coddling him, tells him what he wants/then needs to hear... and it makes me wonder if "Dreamstat" wasn't a LOT more present in Dubai, too. I mean, we see him later. But what if that is what Armand is actively suppressing there.

We saw Louis holding open the door for "Dreamstat" in Paris. He was talking to "thin air" as well, the hallucination of "Lestat" so real to him he probably talked "in reality" to him as well. Felt him.

Daniel's "Are you schizophrenic Louis?" was very much on point I think though I don't think it's a permanent actual mental illness for Louis.

It's more a... retreat, a representation of Louis' state of mind, a place that Armand can suppress the memories of, but cannot actually suppress, because "Dreamstat" comes from a place of longing and actual truth, from deep within Louis (source):.

“The thing that I love about Dream-stat is that it’s Louis’ idealized version. It’s the version of Lestat, or of their relationship that you never got to see really in Season 1. It’s the quieter side of their relationship,” Anderson explains. “They’re hanging out! They’re best friends. It’s a narcissistic version of that because he’s also a manifestation of Louis’ own feelings about things. But I think there is also quite a big element of friendship, companionship. It’s something that Louis missed. Lestat did see him. Lestat knows him probably better than anyone.”

I think that the jab, the accusation of "do you think I need to be hyped up", and the comments about Lestat and the memories all come from the same place, namely Armand not understanding that... Louis actually does want to be coddled. Hyped up. Cared for. Because... Louis wants his cigarette lit when he takes one. He wants support when he asks for it. He wants an honest opinion when he asks for it, or an emotional buffer when he needs that. He wants the money when he wants to buy the Fairplay Saloon. And so on. He wants to be cared for within his own agency.

(And Lestat often fulfilled his requests, even to turning Claudia, as we saw.)

But Louis does not want to be cared for the way Armand does it for the most part, which is actually taking his agency. Armand cares for Louis doing what he thinks best.

Armand literally "protects Louis from himself", which is something he states within the show. By taking the memories away, too. By tinkering with Louis' behavior. By putting whole phrases and words into Louis' mind.

I think what "breaks through" might be discrepancies. Things that don't fit. Louis is clever, he must notice. Daniel is a lifeline, that Louis needs to cast while keeping Armand "under control" ... somehow. Which is why he falls back into the power play there, imho.

Which is why "Rashid" happens at all I think.

Because, and I know I keep coming back to this scene, but this is Louis' face when Armand reveals himself in 1x07:

Yeah. Happy is something else. This is trepidation.

He knew it would get really difficult now (to break through). And he was right! Armand tried real hard to uphold the status quo - and almost succeeded, too.

[anaid-queen]

This can be a solution to insulation and weatherproofing challenges

Source: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTF2JYRGH/

[anaid-queen]

“Oh.”

[anaid-queen]

Sorry if this was discussed before but I never fully understand what exactly Louis felt for Jonah and of what Lestat was jealous of? Was Jonah actually Louis first love like some people say? To me it seems like it was about mutual understanding as black men and some nostalgia, I don't think Louis had some deep feelings for him. I mean, he didn't even reciprocate the bj. But why would Lestat be jealous of that, I don't think it was about sex? What he felt that he interpreted as dancing hearts?

I think Jonah holds a special place in Louis‘ heart and past. They had a little … something after all.

Enough to remember very fondly. And rekindle.

The problem was that Jonah was not a meaningless fling, as Antoinette was at that point.

[anaid-queen]

i just think they're neat... ❤🔍

[anaid-queen]

animal crossing comms :^) thanks nyall

@shortazn97 || @/LadyAstarlis || @elefluff || @/VaniPanini || @/theslippeddisco || @/Khaliun_Dazkar

[anaid-queen]

“The coffin was cold without you, beloved.”

[anaid-queen]

Hi,if I understand right Loustat's problems come from Louis refusing to drink blood right? But why is Louis refusing to drink from humans? It's not like he really care about other humans,so is he being just completely stubborn to piss Lestat?

... welllll.... it's one of the big problems, the vicious circle that came with the negation of intimacy, yes.

Louis... does not stop drinking from humans because he loves them so much, or because he wants to be "ethical". Book canonically Louis thought it would be more fitting to "work oneself up" so to say, and in the show his diet... is one of the few things Louis has full control over in his life.

He does it not (only) to "piss off Lestat", I think that is not it. I think it is a try at regaining control itself.

Louis threw himself into the relationship with Lestat, thinking it would free him, since that is part of the offer - and Lestat in turn thought it would, since it did free Gabrielle(!) - but of course it could not, not in the way Louis (and Lestat) hoped it would. And the first few years were amazing, and only when the disconnect started to come - namely the "rite of passage" that Lestat addressed in episode 2(!) - then Louis started to spiral a bit, start to doubt, start to... need control again.

And the feeding... was one of the few things he had full control over.

In the books there is also the "killing evil doers" only vs innocent blood "discussion" that the vampires engage in. Iirc the show runners said they gave the "impulse" for that to Louis here, so that Lestat "learns" that from him, so that then plays into it as well, of course.

Only - as seen also in the show - "killing only evil doers" is easier said than done, and... in the books it takes until the last book until they find a more or less practical way of doing it. *coughs* By older vampires hunting the evil doers and keeping them in dungeons for easier feeding *coughs* (not kidding).

And since "only evil doers" is so difficult to implement that also plays into Louis' decision to just... stop.

So.... it's complicated, as everything on this show is^^.

[anaid-queen]

[anaid-queen]

what doesn't kill you makes you weird at intimacy

[anaid-queen]

On being an older fangirl

I was probably 10 years old when I first conceived of what was, looking back, fanfiction. Me and my best friend would lie in bed together on sleepovers and I'd make up stories about what happened after the end of our favorite book, "The Westing Game." She'd ask me for more stories, and I'd tell her more, inventing them as I went along. "Then what?" she'd say.

I was 14 when I went to my first convention. I had discovered Star Trek: The Next Generation. It was 1987, and my youth pastor was a huge Trekkie. He took me to a one-day crappy Creation con, but it was amazing to me. I met Nichelle Nichols. My dad showed me the Trek movies. He and I watched TNG together.

When I went to college in 1991, my dad used to videotape TNG episodes onto VHS tapes and mail them to me, so I could keep watching (I didn't have TV in my dorm room).

By the time I was a senior, we had Trek watching parties in the dorm lounge, where the TV had cable. Star Trek: Voyager had started up, and I wrote a column about it for the college newspaper. I joined a mailing list about it, with people in it that I still know today.

I got my first computer that could go online in 1995. I was on newsgroups. I discovered Doctor Who. I went to Trek conventions where we still passed around fanzines containing fic and art and smutty K/S fan creations.

Then it was Harry Potter. Then there were websites. Then there was Geocities, where we could all make our own little spots. We organized them into webrings. We talked on newsgroups and mailing lists. There were fanfic archives. Then there was fanfiction.net.

Then...there was LiveJournal. And we could interact in entirely new ways. We could form communities, and debate things, and fight over canon, and get into ship wars. On LiveJournal, I met my best friend of 22 years. I was in her wedding. She's my sister of the heart (which is what she calls me).

Then there was Tumblr. And Twitter. And now there's Discord. But it's all the same.

I am the same.

I am still that little girl who made up fanfiction in her head to entertain her best friend. I am still the one who was amazed to find communities on the internet - which was so new, so raw, so uncommodified - where others like me could meet. I found there people to meet in real life.

I am still that twentysomething going to her first major convention, being told that someone loved my fic, being asked about my writing process.

I am still that thirtysomething watching something I wrote blow up. Seeing friends from other fandoms find me in new ones, finding them there, too. Forgetting which fandom I know someone from, because I've known them for twenty years.

I still know some of the people who created those early websites, those mailing lists, those archives. I still meet people in new fandoms who say "Oh, I read your fic in [fandom] fifteen years ago!" There's no feeling quite like having someone remember something you wrote for that long. Or meeting someone whose fic meant a lot to YOU, or who you talked with on rec.arts.drwho.creative in 1997.

Aging in fandom is a gift. Being middle-aged in fandom is a joy. Having people who still read what I write and ask "Then what?" is a blessing.

It breaks my heart that so many people see it as something to be ashamed of, when it is one of my life's greatest gifts.

[anaid-queen]

Literally the best image ever for when you’re suffering due to your own deliberate actions

[anaid-queen]

quick armandaniel sketch idk i literally made up a fanfic in my head and then drew this dont ask im gonna go cope by watching something silly-

[anaid-queen]

Warms olives, huh?

Chapter 4 of Camboy Molloy is up on Ao3!

In which Daniel introduces Armand to the joy of mozzarella sticks. 😊

[anaid-queen]

Cherik mini comic about Charles’ telepathy vaguely based off a fic I read while back where they had a similar conversation. I can’t find it now but if anyone can let me know 😢

Not a sad one! Kind of! Maybe I’ll make a sad one in the future. I need to go finish my homework now LOL but thank you everyone for the patience!

[anaid-queen]

devils minion era daniel

[anaid-queen]

Void Elf Hairstyle concept 💜✨ Sparkly!