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⚽️

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10/10 dad joke

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lions are very mean and like jellyfish

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“I don’t do math because I’m gay” “the gays can’t do math” “If I explain math on tumblr I’ll lose my gay card” all of you apologize to Alan Turing right now 

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which one of u was going to tell me that tea tastes different if u put it in hot water?

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what about boyfriend are those applications still open

apologies, those were never open

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me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit

mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters

me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU

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maybe im a stupid asshole but one of my biggest tumblr pet peeves is when i see a popular post that DEFINITELY got posted to r/curatedtumblr or put in a funniest tumblr posts video or whatever and the post is the 3 or 4 original reblogs that make up the og post and then like 25 reblogs in a row of different people all saying some variation of "I CANT BELIEVE I FINALLY FOUND IT" or mentioning hellsite-hall-of-fame or something

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maybe im a stupid asshole but one of my biggest tumblr pet peeves is when i see a popular post that DEFINITELY got posted to r/curatedtumblr or put in a funniest tumblr posts video or whatever and the post is the 3 or 4 original reblogs that make up the og post and then like 25 reblogs in a row of different people all saying some variation of "I CANT BELIEVE I FINALLY FOUND IT" or mentioning hellsite-hall-of-fame or something

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@hellsite-hall-of-fame

I’m not sure why I actually did this but here you go. XD

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me walking into the grocery store to buy everything bagels

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aquarium advertisments say stuiff like discover the longtooth grouper this friday

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"we had ai-"

"i asked chat gpt-"

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drunk and in love and full of food i think only the torturer eel could harm me

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Air Fryer went to class with me today. such a goofy child

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