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This is accuracy right here.

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If I was a famous author I would publish a book with ten different endings which all went to print with varying degrees of rarity, but not tell the fans about it so that I could watch their confusion as they disagree over how the story ended. Then when they figured it out I would ‘come clean’, telling them that I had released eleven alternate endings and watch them panic again as they all try to find the last ending.

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24 does not feel any different than 23. That is all.

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I hit on my friends more than I hit on my crushes

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In grade 3 people used to bully me and call me donkey because apparently I looked like one and I would always reply with “Donkeys are cute therefore i’m cute!” And one day this kid was like, ” No donkeys are ugly creatures that poor people use for transportation” and I replied with “AT LEAST PEOPLE LIKE TO RIDE ME!” And my teacher started laughing and I didn’t know why until today because I just realized what I said omg

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Today while at work a guy came in and brought 10 dozen eggs. After I gave him his change and the last bag of eggs he looked at me with the most serious expression ever and said “eggcellent” before walking away and I swear in that moment I had never been happier to sell a man eggs

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056 by o´holysweet! on Flickr.

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Grumpy Night.

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I hate how a majority believe that when a girl’s silent she’s

falling apart

crying inside

over thinking

ect

but

maybe

she’s just picturing porn in her head

idk, normally i’m just thinking about murder

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Today in History

Teacher: Here is a picture of American military propaganda from WWI. The Hun is a nickname for the Germans.

Student in the back of the class: LET'S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS

The entire class: TO DEFEAT THE HUNS. DID THEY SEND ME DAUGHTERS, WHEN I ASKED FOR SONS? YOUR THE SADDEST BUNCH I'VE EVER MET, BUT YOU CAN BET BEFORE WE'RE THROUGH. MISTER, I'LL MAKE A MAN OUT OF YOU.

Teacher: What just happened?

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REMEMBER SKIP-IT FROM THE 90’S

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women give birth they literally have the power to end the human species if they decide in unison to boycott humanity. So men, you should probably stop shitting on women, you have no clue what you’re fucking with.

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Dean and Cas fucking so loud that Sam comes in and douses them with a bucket of holy water because “I’m trying to fucking read and the noises you two are making are so unholy I figured it was worth a shot.”

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the vicious pitbull in its naturally godless killing rage