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Galentine’s Day Reflections: Friendship, Betrayal, and Workplace Mean Girls

Every year, I find myself rewatching a video from my pandemic Galentine’s Day celebration. It’s become a tradition, a sentimental ritual that reminds me of the love and joy shared among friends. But this year, as I pressed play, a wave of mixed emotions hit me. Most of the women in that video are still dear to me, but a few? They broke my heart in ways I never expected.

Friendship heartbreak is real, and in my experience, it can cut deeper than romantic pain. Three years ago, I was bullied out of a job by women I once considered friends—women who attended that very Galentine’s Day celebration. What I went through was nothing short of emotional terrorism, a workplace experience that mirrored the toxic dynamics of a high school clique.

The "Mean Girls" Problem in the Workplace

The term "mean girls" has been a part of pop culture since the early 2000s, but it resurfaced with the release of the latest Mean Girls movie. Stories of office bullying, exclusion, and passive-aggressive behavior flooded social media. Women shared experiences of being shut out of group chats, denied opportunities, and undermined in their careers by female colleagues.

Research backs this up. A 2018 study from the University of Arizona found that women experience workplace incivility more often than men—and that much of it comes from other women. Some experts believe this stems from insecurity and competition. Women, historically excluded from leadership roles, may feel pressure to prove themselves, sometimes by tearing others down.

I know this dynamic all too well. When I was at the City of Indianapolis, I hired a woman I trusted, hoping to build a strong, supportive team. Instead, I was met with sabotage, whispers behind closed doors, and an eventual ousting that still stings to this day. I tried everything—kindness, extra effort, going above and beyond—but as workplace strategist Stefanie Marrone put it, "You think you can kill somebody with kindness, but you really can't if they have a mark on your back."

Healing From Workplace Betrayal

It’s been three years, and I’m still healing. Therapy, journaling, meditation—I do it all, yet the betrayal lingers. Galentine’s Day is now a bittersweet reminder: a time to celebrate the friends who truly love and support me, while mourning the ones I lost to toxicity and ambition. But I don’t want to stay stuck in that hurt.

Shifting the Narrative: From Competition to Community

Instead of competing in ways that destroy, we should find ways to lift each other up.

I love the idea of “competition to uplift, never to destroy.” It’s something I’m still working toward, even after the trauma I’ve endured. I want to alchemize my pain into forgiveness and love. This Galentine’s Day, I’m choosing to focus on the women who bring joy into my life—the ones who see success as something we can all share, rather than a limited resource to fight over.

To those still dealing with workplace "mean girls": You are not alone. You deserve respect. And most importantly, you deserve to work in an environment where success is celebrated, not weaponized.

Here’s to healing, to learning, and to supporting each other—both inside and outside the workplace.

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May the silent battles of 2024 turn into 2025's loudest victories.

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Autumnal Wood on Instagram

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Jane Fonda, Walk on the Wild Side (1962)

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Edouard Boubat, France, 1977

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Marguerite Duras, The Lover

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#handlettering

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Katharine Hepburn

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The Power of your subconscious mind (1963) — Joseph Murphy

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㋡🥀

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