andrewvanderkarr

[andrewvanderkarr]

Just ask anyone with a vagina, my coworker Derek is just so goddamn awesome that it's almost mythical! He's absolutely fucking magical!

‪#‎HeShitsRainbowsTooLadies‬!

[andrewvanderkarr]

It's really no wonder that everyone loves Derek so much! Being a lunatic that's obsessed with getting his pump on is so goddamn adorable and totally not scary at all!

‪#‎TotesAdorbs‬! ‪#‎TotesOfBloats‬

[andrewvanderkarr]

[andrewvanderkarr]

I'm not even sure I should post this.

‪#‎PourChoice‬ ‪#‎Whiskey‬

[andrewvanderkarr]

Sometimes when you're a miserable bastard, like 2B or myself, the best you can do on goddamn Valentine's Day is declare your undying love for Prince because he always loves you back no matter how fucking pathetic you might be.

‪#‎PocketFullOfHorses‬ ‪#‎Trojans‬ ‪#‎NoneOfThemUsed‬

[andrewvanderkarr]

I suppose Emma could be right, but the thought really depresses me.

‪#‎MyHeartIsARuiner‬

[andrewvanderkarr]

My new job as The Happiness Fairy is extra difficult for me because I don't believe the product I'm endorsing actually exists.

‪#‎EmployeeOfTheWeak‬

[andrewvanderkarr]

Because I evidently have mental problems, I spent all week listening to every Rolling Stones studio recording, including b-sides and compilation tracks, that I have in chronological order (of course) from 1963 through to the present day. 373 songs! To celebrate my grand achievement I'm posting part of a Stones illustration I did for some magazine back in the the early 2000s.

‪#‎IKnowItsOnlyRocknRollButILikeIt‬

[andrewvanderkarr]

Last night the good people at Jack Daniels sent some lovely young ladies over to the bar to give away free shots of their new cinnamon flavored whiskey, Jack Daniels Fire.

‪#‎firehoes‬

[andrewvanderkarr]

I recently came across this old stick figure drawing from back in my days of working at the frame store. Apparently, top-notch customer service has always been my thing.

‪#hootsandaboot

[andrewvanderkarr]

Good news, ladies! If you are a brain surgeon or rocket scientist, my friend Jonny 2B might be interested in slinging you his dick. #fingerscrossed!

[andrewvanderkarr]

I am aware that no one will ever mistake me for a genius, that's for sure, but being that she has made the questionable choice to date me, I'm not exactly certain which of us she was trying to make feel better about themselves.  #buildmeupbuttercup #tbt

[andrewvanderkarr]

This may come as a shock to some of you, but I'm not as naturally friendly and outgoing as you might imagine from seeing me in social situations so I was wary of putting myself out there by joining the various social media platforms and risking world wide rejection. Luckily, my fears were completely unfounded. #MrPopularity

[andrewvanderkarr]

I am thoroughly OUTRAGED! I cannot believe that anyone would make fun of a certifiable moron like Jonny 2B. In a civilized society it is UNACCEPTABLE, I say! No one should make fun of my idiot!! #exceptme 

[andrewvanderkarr]

Apparently if someone gets Gwyn all riled up with their incorrect personal opinions about the chances of the Oakland A's this year, in the grip of her frustration with that person's utter stupidity, she might make statements that I'm not convinced are entirely true.

[andrewvanderkarr]

The other night at the bar, instead of saying 'hello' or something of that nature, these two dickheads approached and greeted each other in a way that suggested social media might actually encourage real-world social interaction. Not impressive interaction, of course, but interaction none the less. #youfuckingkidsgetoffmyblogaboutmylawn!

[andrewvanderkarr]

This is a portion of one of my paintings with tracing paper over it so that I can sketch the changes I want to make, in this case some fancy letters, and see how they work with the image without actually fucking up what I've already painted.  #stoneagephotoshop