andrewwhalan

[andrewwhalan]

leaves swept

I must go outside againto count the leaves fall :in their careful circled way.I mark for nowtheir gentle rotationsas they envelop me.Holding themselvesmore gently than mewhilst occasionallyletting themselvesfly float upwardthen coast downwardin their final whisperingkissing the ground.They're piled now :a first draftere the rearrangingthat takes place -even whenmy half circling feet disturbs…

[andrewwhalan]

advanced care directive

i didn't ask you here so you could whisper,sugar sweetened hatelings at my bedside.i don't want any of your death bred banter,intertwined with this - my last and final aside.i didn't ask you here for your company:i don't want to be inbetween your obtuseput downs and your over performed charity,while i hopefully lie semi demi comatose.i won't ask you what should i have done,i have your disdain…

[andrewwhalan]

her red drips are forgotten

Her first red drops fall cracks inbetween,fear once dripping now are rivulets: forgotten by and by.(Her life is coagulated frozen red : no one tells her why).For those who would free her are forbidden - (she is a woman unseen).Her hope for respite, despite the growing pain,That stops up her breath: falters--- no one is saying,there's no shame despite this that cannot be named : Still this leaves…

[andrewwhalan]

Dark fabric covers her parchment skin, ink under blots marked as darker blue, once black, once purple, and now yellow, mottled with the occasional glimpse of grey.

[andrewwhalan]

i know vulnerable now

This time I won't hide as I did beforebehind an open door. I will leavethis room unlocked and inviting.If she choose to enter, she will do so quietly,perhaps undecidedly. Mayhaps without noticing me. And in that silence I can only choose to wait. I will hope that she will fill these wallswith the decor of her thoughts. Whilst filling the encroaching quiet with the music of her voice. As I set…

[andrewwhalan]

all men

Please like me I am asking youbut let me set aside all kindness while I list all ofyour bad potential while, I'm just saying,I'm notall menI'm not,one of -those men,because in this moment -I am all men,those who punish,you for being who you are.

[andrewwhalan]

idolatry

Oh they say let faith be your saviour,They're judging me amidst my failure,They’re telling me my troubles are all my fault. A sinner now with a chance at heaven of nought.You must be a backslider they always say,You didn't bend the knee, you forgot to pray,Left your bible verses untended and unread,It's then, me in the pulpit, that I cut them dead. say, you turn pages until you find,words that…

[andrewwhalan]

False autumn

The goldeningof the first few leaveshas paused too soon.As if the trees have stoppedto regather themselvesagainst an endless summer.

[andrewwhalan]

Clouds are the spaces inbetween

i am listening to the dripping raindrops surrounding me.I am embracing their silken sweet healing-such is their quietening to my heart, exceeding even the gentled waves of evening.Both are reminders :that we are always,are and will be,water-born : we are but rain and wavesdancing and flowing together,always carrying each other,forever calling to one another :clouds are the spaces in between.

[andrewwhalan]

my ai doesn't understand me

I wish my AI really understood me,my AI simply decides methinks too cleverlythat I'm Ann Drew Wayland or And Rue Whalen,despite my ever better performing pronunciation.Then when my AI re-edits my transcripts,he, or she, more likely they chooses to strip,away my grammatically perfect punctuation,whilst misgarbling my refined words yet again.So please don't download,those AI's generated…

[andrewwhalan]

the gentle quietness of leaving

I am trying to please people I cannot see:those who remain hidden from me those who ultimately have control over me.I am trying to calmthose who cover their ears: those who turn away their fears when they see me: those who would leave me to their night darkly.I am walking awayfrom those who choose to ignore meyet ask for me to stay so they crush my heart space before I chose to finally leave.So…

[andrewwhalan]

Small Things Like These

Book and Movie Review Small Things Like These (Book and Movie Review)

[andrewwhalan]

April Fool's Day

might've been the only day thatI would've agreed with the one name she called me.As if there was only the mererepetition of calling me a fool : such as I was then.Of course I was subject too,as failed lovers are: to much much more Than cute, quirky so-called nicknames...I could list them out perhaps,revisit those feelings re invoked, maybe boil myself over : such was her revenge.Still she can…

[andrewwhalan]

if this abuse was cancer, we'd seek a cure

if this abuse was cancer, we’d seek a cure

[andrewwhalan]

a listening in white

it's white now, as far as I can see,i'm quiet now, safety from the blinding night.There's space now (I can move), freelyup, down inward now, even left or right...It's not that ice cold white now,Nor that white so overwhelming,That white that stultified my blood flow,Left me white blinded, lost and wandering.Nor is it that tinkly white of shattered glass,Leaving me shock frozen unsure if I…

[andrewwhalan]

star sparks

When I look beyond the expanding stars, I consider my future as mere stardust, I worry I’ll always be dark matter, must I live then merely die universally unknown. I’d rather prefer to continue as I began, Ending and remaining as a star spark Lighting up the forever dark, Shining beyond the void.

[andrewwhalan]

unflicking the fuse

and so you pick your careful way throughwhat appears to be landmines or whatlooks like the outlines of ones or theirshadows on the ground around you.meanwhile you wave your super sensitivemine detector slowly in front of, behindand over you : the only magic wand you havewhile your fear its powers fading.but the landmine makers have chosen theirfuses carefully : an eyeblink, a tone of voice,a soft…