andynica

[andynica]

MY EVERYDAY

My husband waking me up as I am getting late from my work, I am waking kissed by my husband and seeing him preparing our meal always. I’m walking towards the room of my daughter Khloe, my precious. I am now Registered Psychometrician working in Canada as a Guidance Councilor in high school. I am married with the man of my life he’s a turkish man he’s name is Ismael, we have 1 kid her name is Khloe she’s 2 years old and by the way we were married when I was 28 years old well ofcourse I met him in Turkey when I was still a Flight Attendant. Me and my husband we have a foundation for the home for the aged every weekend we spend our time there together with our daughter, since we are very far from our parents we think of them as our parents its fun taking care of what you really enjoy even though you are not getting paid for it.

Everything is fine as we plan together with my husband when were not yet married, this is what we want a simple life that we imagine before. We still share our salary with our parents, living here in canada is what we dream and now it is really happening together with our daughter💛

We also plan that when were old or retired we will buy a home that close to nature, breathing a fresh air together🍂 waking up in each others arm everyday. Appreciating all he have done for me, for all the hard work we did to get through this.

This is because of Allah that we believed in and who stayed for us, the center of our love.❤️

[andynica]

L O V E

My love ones,

Dad wherever you are right now I know you can see us, I’m sorry for all the things I’ve done when you were still alive, sorry for not obeying you. I am so thankful that you are my grandfather that treated me as his own child, for the love you gave snd for the things you have given me although I don’t deserve it because I am not your own child but still.🥺 Remember when I was abused with my own mother you were there, you were my knight shining armor, you saved me. I appreciate all the things you did but I realized it when you’re gone. I am too late. If only I can bring back the time, Its you I wanna be with. Always💛

Mommy, Sorry and sorry I know I am always annoyed by you, I get irritated but you know I always love you are one of my inspirations to get through this, I wanna pay you and dad for doing everything before, treating me as own child. You know I will never leave you, I’ll stay with you always no matter what. I am so glad that you are you, I get to experienced the things that I will not experience when I am living with my father and mother. I am always thankful for you.❤️

Papa, you are the main reason why I don’t want to fail, I want to prove everything for you, You don’t appreciate me today but I know someday you will. I will repay all the efforts you gave to get me through college without me working for it. Without struggling finances, I kinda realized why it happens to abuse me, I know because we were nothing before we don’t have enough money but because of your hard working we have this. Thankyou for all that you do💙

[andynica]

LIFE

Adulthood kinda excites me because you faces new challenge, new chapter of your life and get to know more people by experiences. When I was young I keep dreaming to be a successful woman, I don’t want to fail my parents even though growing up is painful by knowing your worth and believing in yourself that you can do it, even though every person have self efficacy sometimes you still don’t know how to value yourself.

Adulthood gives you extra challenges by different levels of responsibilty, it is hard when you keep growing the challenges are also growing. You are not just thinking about yourself but for everyone.

Honestly, As I grow up I am always thinking about my future, and looking forward how I live my life that I always been dreaming of and how I can help my parents. I don’t want to be rich as anyone, I want to be happy living and providing the needs of my family giving them a better life. I always look back I have experience and how hard life is without education, without dreams. I am enjoying my youth but I will never destroy my dreams.

[andynica]

I was so different before when I was high school, and in high school there’s a lot of challenges for me. Started with myself I wasn’t like this before I mean I wasn’t this kind before nobody likes me except from my true friends. I know a lot of people back then hates me and I feel so superior before, I feel like everybody are scared of me and yes you can say that by means of being a war freak, I make people look down on me, should respect me. Its so funny when I still remember I’m walking by a lot of girls stay out of my way hahahaha well scared of me

But thats just the side I want them to see. I want them to see how strong I am, not weak, not easy. I felt misunderstood before of how I act and how I want them to see but deep inside of me before every night I cry and feel so guilty on everyday I make sins.

There was this one time I felt so alone, everybody hates me, no one talked to me even my friends because of one thing that I did. I didn’t know what to feel, don’t even know what to do. But luckily I have my boyfriend/bestfriend that time, he makes me realize all the wrong things that I’ve done, and how to make it right. He was my angel that time he saved me.

It is indeed true that maturity does not measured by age. It's an attitude built by experience.

[andynica]

OCEAN

The Big Five Model, also known as the Five-Factor Model, is the most widely accepted personality theory held by psychologists today. The theory states that personality can be boiled down to five core factors, known by the acronym CANOE or OCEAN:

The model became known as the “Big Five” and has seen received much attention. It has been researched across many populations and cultures and continues to be the most widely accepted theory of personality today.

Each of the Big Five personality traits represents extremely broad categories which cover many personality-related terms. Each trait encompasses a multitude of other facets.

As I can recall when I was elementary, 

My Openness was high because that was the stage I explore everything out of my curiousity.

Conscientiousness was low, when I was young I’m very careless I don’t organized things because I can see the my classmates as early as elementary they always do things organized, and dedicated. I act very impulsive before I do thing without thinking what might be the result of my actions.

Extroversion, very high. Until now I am out going, seeks for adventure I want to be free and be who I am. I am very loud as a person. I am very sociable but only my cousins saw that because when I’m in school sometimes they don’t like to be sociable with me because of my appearance before.

Agreeableness, high. early as elementary I am very thoughtful and I can say until now and will never be gone. I always try my best to be helpful and doing my best to be trusted by everyone.

Neuroticism, low. I can always remember how happy I was before when I was young even though though there are many negative people around me and specially even I’m always being bullied.

MEMORIES

This was my classmates before that I can always remember. I don’t have a lot of memorable experience in elementary most of them was me being bullied. Well of course most of us experience bully when we were elementary. They are fun to be with, even though most of the times they bully me but still they are my friends. I treat them as my friends. I don’t have any anger even before that they make fun of me because it wouldn’t be memorable for them If there is no one to make fun with.

But this kid beside me, makes me smile when I reminisce those days. Yes he was one of the kid who bullied me too but sometimes I know that he’s my real friend he doesn’t want any kid to bully me. I can still remember when I was new to that campus he became my friend, he was the one who talked to me, we were close. Even though there’s no day that he wont annoy me after a long day in school he asks for forgiveness. He knows how to make me laugh when I’m sad and scared. 

Until now, for me this is the most memorable I had when I was elementary.

THE BEST PART OF MY ELEMENTARY DAYS.

[andynica]

BESTFRIEND

That’s me when I was 2 years old and the girl the right side thats my cousin she’s my bestfriend of all time, well she’s 1 year older than me. Ever since when I’m celebrating my birthday she’s there. All I can remember was playing with her. 

The most memorable I had with her as I remembered every christmas we always had this game that eating apple while hanging on us without our hands, we are always paired with this game. We’ve never been separate since our childhood and my grandmother verified that. This is my favorite picture of us that I found because even then we are never apart.

We maybe older now, we maybe have some misunderstanding growing up, separate. But our blood is thicker, our love is thicker. 

I really don’t have friends when I was younger, all I can remember is her.

[andynica]

PARENTING STYLES

The parenting styles commonly used in psychology today are based on the work of Diana Baumrind, a developmental psychologist at the University of California at Berkeley, in the 1960s. Maccoby and Martin also contributed by refining the model in the 1980s.

Authoritative Parenting  

These parents set rules and enforce boundaries by having open discussion, providing guidance and using reasoning.

These parents provide their kids with reasoning and explanation for their action. Explanations allow children to have a sense of awareness and teach kids about values, morals, and goals.

Authoritarian Parenting

High levels of parental control and low levels of responsiveness are the two characteristics of authoritarian parents. They only allow one way communication through rules and orders. Any attempts to reason with them are seen as backtalk. These parents use stern discipline and often employ harsh punishment, such as corporal punishment, as a way to control children’s behavior.  

Permissive Parenting 

Permissive parents set very few rules and boundaries and they are reluctant to enforce rules. These indulgent parents are warm and indulgent but they do not like to say no or disappoint their children.

Neglectful Parenting

Low demandingness. Low responsiveness. Neglectful parents do not set firm boundaries or high standards. They are indifferent to their children’s needs and uninvolved in their lives.

AUTHORITATIVE PARENTING

When I was 2 years old my mom left me and go to Singapore to work there, thats my biological mother on the 3rd picture. I don’t have any pictures with my father when I was a little child and that time I don’t know where he went. 

On the first picture that’s my grandmother, and the second is my grandfather. They were the one who guided me until now even my grandfather died I can still feel him. When I was growing up they were authoritative parents they let me speak out of my thoughts they always teach me moral lessons, how they were before so I can’t repeat the same mistakes that they did, that my mother did.

Whenever I make mistakes my grandfather always teaches me and gives me awareness and I can easily can count of them. My grandmother always has this rules that I should obey but not that strict because she knows I’m a human too, I’m not  a robot and I have feelings. 

The one thing I admire the most from my grandfather is, they let us make mistakes and learn from those mistakes. He never totally controled us he wants us to be obidient on our own. Both of my grandparents

When I have my own family, I want to be like them. They are very open never forgets that their children are not just their children. They always tell us that we also have a dream, self opinion, beliefs and thoughts. Their love remain as it is and I am still feeling it and receiving it.

 I am happy that I experienced things that they gave to me that I know my real parents wouldn’t. I am grateful that today my real father works hard for me to support me financially and that is why I am working hard and studying to pay for what he did and also from my grandmother who was always their for me to guide me.

They are my inspiration not to give up in life.

While I’m typing this, I cried I remember my grandfather, and bursting out my love from my grandparents and father. I hopefully gave the love and support they have given me by graduating and achieving my dreams while they are still here.

Too bad, my grandfather is not here anymore but he’s always in my heart.

[andynica]

THE EASY CHILD

What is an Easy Child?

The easy child responds to the world around him in an easy manner. His mood is positive, and he is mildly to moderately intense. He adapts easily to new schools and people. When encountering a frustrating situation, he usually does so with relatively little anxiety.

I asked my parents what was I when I was a kid, and they told me that I am happy going, I smiled and laugh a lot, I like to explore things whenever I see something new from me I easily get distracted and wanted that. My brother also told me that I used to eat a lot everytime.

My grandfather before he died he always sent me to his work place all over mindanao when I was a kid, they said his people likes me because I am a happy go child. But sometimes I also have temper when I don’t eat on time hahaha thats what they said.  

There was a time that I really have my tantrums because I lost my pacifier which I called “bapoo” my grandmother said that I don’t like to take the pacifier with the color blue because what I want was always color pink 

There is this one scenario that my grandmother always talk about that I always get her lipstick and put it on me, I have a picture before but I lost it. 

I loved how they used to talked about me before when I was a kid, because I was their first grandchild.

I automatically think that I am a easy child.

[andynica]

Mary Ainsworth’s Attachment Patterns

ATTACHMENT PATTERNS

Attachment theory is focused on the relationships and bonds between people, particularly long-term relationships, including those between a parent and child and between romantic partners.

British psychologist John Bowlby was the first attachment theorist, describing attachment as a "lasting psychological connectedness between human beings. Bowlby was interested in understanding the separation anxiety and distress that children experience when separated from their primary caregivers. 

Attachment is an emotional bond with another person. Bowlby believed that the earliest bonds formed by children with their caregivers have a tremendous impact that continues throughout life. He suggested that attachment also serves to keep the infant close to the mother, thus improving the child's chances of survival.

Ainsworth's "Strange Situation"

In her 1970s research, psychologist Mary Ainsworth expanded greatly upon Bowlby's original work. Her groundbreaking "Strange Situation" study revealed the profound effects of attachment on behavior. In the study, researchers observed children between the ages of 12 and 18 months as they responded to a situation in which they were briefly left alone and then reunited with their mothers.

Patterns of Attachment

Ambivalent attachment: These children become very distressed when a parent leaves. Ambivalent attachment style is considered uncommon, affecting an estimated 7–15% of U.S. children. As a result of poor parental availability, these children cannot depend on their primary caregiver to be there when they need them.

Avoidant attachment: Children with an avoidant attachment tend to avoid parents or caregivers, showing no preference between a caregiver and a complete stranger. This attachment style might be a result of abusive or neglectful caregivers. Children who are punished for relying on a caregiver will learn to avoid seeking help in the future.

Disorganized attachment: These children display a confusing mix of behavior, seeming disoriented, dazed, or confused. They may avoid or resist the parent. Lack of a clear attachment pattern is likely linked to inconsistent caregiver behavior. In such cases, parents may serve as both a source of comfort and fear, leading to disorganized behavior.

Secure attachment: Children who can depend on their caregivers show distress when separated and joy when reunited. Although the child may be upset, they feel assured that the caregiver will return. When frightened, securely attached children are comfortable seeking reassurance from caregivers.

I was 2 years old, the left and right side are my grandfather and grandmother I always have this secure attachment to them, and the one who holds me my father. I never grew up with my own parents since I was born they left me with my grandparents. I have been so close to my grandfather I am his first grandchild. My grandfather was a Police Chief Inspector he’s not always around but my grandmother is always there. Everytime we go to his work place he always introduce me as his daughter, I’ve been to a lot of places in mindanao because of him and because of his work since then I feel so loved when he introduce me as his own child, whenever his home I am always with him, I always look for him, as I remembered.  I love my parents but I really love so much my grandparents since then they were there for me there is no love that can provide me that my grandfather gives me before. But now, since my grandfather died I feel sad I dont feel assured not completely but thanks to my grandmother I can’t tell that I am fully complete because my grandfather died but since my grandmother is here I am, and will be okay. I miss my grandfather its really hard everyday even he passed away 2 years ago. 

Missing someone from heaven is a different kind of heart ache. Cherish every moment with your love ones make them feel loved.