andyofspades

[andyofspades]

Literally the dog I’m petsitting rn.

He’s a silken windhound and its like holding a couple grapes.

I... I don't think the patient's weight got entered correctly. Just a hunch

[andyofspades]

neopets forum posts i reference all the time but nobody gets

[andyofspades]

[andyofspades]

We go forward.

image

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[andyofspades]

Moments away from going to DC to beat some goddamn sense into my congresswoman. I fucking campaigned for her!

[andyofspades]

[andyofspades]

Reblog to give a trans person a fresh and perfectly ripe mango wait huh

It's the wikipedia image??? How big could it be

What

Huh???

[andyofspades]

We lost a war that we shouldn’t have even been in anyways. Get the fuck over it you bootlicking cunts.

[andyofspades]

[andyofspades]

Biden Surgeon General: Harvard University magna cum laude in biochemical sciences, Yale M.D. and M.B.A. and an actual physician

Trump Surgeon general: literally some random lady.

#BestPeople

[andyofspades]

I took my little brother (autistic, mostly non verbal) out and he was using his voice keyboard to tell me something, and this little boy (maybe 4 or 5?) heard him and asked me "Is he a robot??" I tried to explain to him that no, he isn't a robot, he just communicates differently, but my darling brother was in the background max volume "I am robot I am robot I am robot I am robot"

[andyofspades]

this guy really always had something to say about almost everything and nearly all of it is still completely relevant almost 200 years later. fascinating stuff.

[andyofspades]

me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit

mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters

me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU

[andyofspades]

thinkin bout funny meme

[andyofspades]

My knees hurt. Im 21. I literally was just sitting criss-cross most of the day. What the fuck. Is this how my mother feels?

[andyofspades]

I've been doing a lot of thinking about my family and how I was treated as a child, and honestly, my father has never seemed more amazing in my eyes.

I used to love Luigi(Mario's brother) when I was little. Like, he was my favorite character ever, and I had multiple plushies of him. Didn't give a fuck about Mario, vaguely tolerated Peach, but I loved Luigi.

On my first day of kindergarten, my dad gave me the number for his work phone and said it was Luigi's phone number. "If anything happens at school, call Luigi."And not even twenty minutes into my first day, I was having a panic attack. So I went down to the principal's office and called "Luigi."

Now, at the time, my father was in a meeting with his manager and his supervisor, along with most of his coworkers. And when I called, he picked up before he even left the room.

And he put on a very awful Italian accent and said, "Itsa me, Luigi! Whatsa the matter?"In front of his boss and coworkers. Without telling them what was going on. So they were absolutely bewildered, and he carried on like they didn't even exist. He only explained what was happening after I had calmed down and hung up, to which most of them responded with "Aww, cute."

I continued to call him whenever I got upset at school, and eventually his coworkers got in on it. I distinctly remember one of them impersonating Toad. I don't know why I'm telling you this, I just thought it might make you smile :)

this is so delightful I love your Luigi dad

[andyofspades]

maybe this is just me idk