anevianyx - Tumblr blog

[anevianyx]

Watched it twice before remembering to blink...

You need.. you need to unmute…

[anevianyx]

After watching all of my favourite movies...

everyone: this was badly written me, a simpleton: idk… i enjoyed it…

[anevianyx]

Went to a friends for drinks/cards/general funs last night which was awesome. What was less awesome was when someone invited Mr. Gets Attached Too Quickly as well. I'm sitting chatting with our lovely host, drinking, relaxing, having a good time. I turn around and bam! There he is trying to hold my hand while I've got both hands full. So instead he puts his hand on my knee and acts like it's normal. Now even this wasn't so bad. The biggest problem honestly was that he brought a friend. An attractive one. Not like model gorgeous but exactly my usual type. And he didn't give me a second glance because his mate was trying. No guarantee he would have anyway but I would've had a shot!

[anevianyx]

Just made my sister run out and meet me with a pack of cards against humanity that I'd forgotten to bring with me. Without realising I had 10 minutes until the bus arrives...she is not amused.

[anevianyx]

Ok so I'll be the first to admit that I have some serious commitment issues both to things and people. Can't help it. Some people make me uncomfortable, like the guy who mentioned proudly (on our first date) that he had recently purchased his first home. He was so happy. All I could think was "wow. You already have a mortgage. You're trapped". Don't get me wrong, I'm happy that he got what he's wanting but the idea of being tied down for so long like that scared me. There was no second date. Now I've been travelling for a long time, and it's made me who I am. It's also never allowed for much commitment. But I'll be where I am for a while so I've decided to do something new. Which I do love. The trying new things, not being stationary. I'm going to date. Not the string of first dates and group dates I've done over the years but actual dates that may turn into meeting someone I want to keep around for a bit. And I'm terrified. It's exciting, thrilling in a similar way that travelling to new places and trying new things has always been but with an added element. It could hurt. I don't get close to people. Never had the chance. I've had strings of acquaintances who I then only see on Facebook feeds. Dates that were fun to watch a movie or eat dinner with then never see again. But outside my family my oldest friend is someone I met 2 years ago. So yeah. I'm scared. What happens when I don't leave. When they get to know me. When they see who I am. When I like what I see but they don't. I'm scared because for the first time in so many years I will be opening myself to people that will have the power to make an impact on me. Because I want them to. I want someone to be important to me and to see me as someone important. I've been on two dates in the last week. One through a friend and one from online. Both so different. One throws compliments like confetti. Beautiful, perfect, I can do no wrong all scattered with little x's. How do I respond? Either he is trying to get something from me through endless blatant flattery or he's profoundly naive. It's hard to tell which. The other needed me to carry the conversation and didn't even try to touch my hand the whole time we were together. I thought surely he's not interested, we'll hang out, have fun, and go our separate ways amicably. Then he texts me that he had fun and wants to have dinner. I'll see both again. No harm in trying, but honestly, I don't understand and I'm not sure how. How do you get attached to people. How do you let yourself believe they will be there 3 weeks from now. I never was.

[anevianyx]

Apparently the most romantic thing that can be said about me is the fact that I like funny people. Like even if they had a "face like a horses' @$$" I wouldn't care if they could make me laugh. I'm torn. Compliment because I'm not shallow or insult because a lack of shallowness is literally the 'most' romantic thing about me.

[anevianyx]

Although this is what I actually want from my (fictional) Valentine.

[anevianyx]

My loot from the office Valentine day secret gifting event! It was honestly so nice of them to include me especially considering I'd been a part of their office for 3 days when it began.

[anevianyx]

I found one that gets sarcasm!

[anevianyx]

Well saw a Dr. and i screwed up. The sprain is so bad he made me get an x-ray. Very luckily not broken (I have super weak ankles) and now I'm not allowed to do anything but lay around with a pressure bandage on. Intensely bored. Reading is only keeping me occupied for so long. Maybe I'll try writing. I know I have old FF.net and ao3 accounts, let's see if I can find the passwords and work out how to post.

[anevianyx]

Me: I only do *insert list of unhealthy coping mechanisms here* when I'm sad.

Someone: But you're always doing at least one of those.

Me: *finger guns*

[anevianyx]

Definitely feel this post.

me: mayb…i am worthy of love n attention ? brain: unrealistic. blocked

[anevianyx]

The guy I’ve started chatting to does not understand sarcasm…this may be a dealbreaker.

[anevianyx]

First week is finished and thank goodness for the weekend! I finally got my logins for the work computers so actually got to do something and I find out Monday if I got it right :P My ankle might actually be worse somehow which sucks but I googled so at least I have a guess as to what I did to it. Some good suggestions for exercises to fix it and make it stronger too which is nice. They hurt like a bitch right now though. Now to spend the day reading and on the internet! What I really need is a person to sit next to me and read/internet at the same time. That way when I find funnies or plot twists I can share them!

[anevianyx]

My sister didn't know that nuns are religious... They are just women that happen to like dressing like penguins... And singing... Why are they in churches you ask? Because they aren't very good at singing and no-one else wants them. Christians have to be nice so they let the old Cosplay ladies sing. No more Sister Act for us...

[anevianyx]

Discussing "The Unfinished Angel"

Me: so what are Angels for?

Sister: I don't know

Me: what are they meant to do?

Sister: they do stuff? I thought they were just...there

Mum: what about the Christmas Angel?

Sister: on the tree? It does something?

Mum: *sighs* well is there a Halloween Angel?

Sister: those are witches!

Mum:

Me: *bent double laughing*

Me: what did Christians used to do to witches?

Sister: I thought everyone burned them?

We may need to do a bit more study on religion. Also witches don't need wings like the other angels because they have broomsticks to ride...

[anevianyx]

Wooooop!

I have a job! Starts 8am (6am get up eugh) but OMG working!!!