angryarbitershark-blog

[angryarbitershark-blog]

I just returned from the most amazing trip to Pakistan, where I met many absolutely wonderful people. My uniqueness was embraced – I wasn’t treated differently because of my brown skin or my short grey hair – I was WELCOMED!

I spent 15 days in Pakistan (specifically, Lahore and Faisalabad), and had an absolutely wonderful time and will hold this experience and the people I met (now extended family) close to my heart for the remainder of my life.

I can’t speak on politics and the general climate of Pakistan as a whole. However, I can share with everyone this reaches my first-hand experience in Pakistan.

Never have I experienced such genuine warmth from complete strangers. I was welcomed into homes with open arms and yes, there was some curiosity as to how I felt about the country. My response was always it’s amazing or wonderful. My vocabulary is limited as there isn’t a single word that can express how I felt. What I saw of Pakistan was amazing, even the traffic though chaotic was somehow organized chaos.

There’s so much to see, eat and experience that it’s sensory overload. I have a 2 year visa and we’re already making plans for our return visit in 2020. That in itself is a testament to the wonderful time I had.

Speaking of sensory overload, creating a comprehensive blog of this experience is impossible. As a result, I’ve sectioned areas off to create mini-stories of my experiences to cutback on what appears to be rambling…

Additionally, I’m finding it difficult to share this experience in such a way that the nuances of the morning walks through the orchard, the early morning (3:00a) drives for chai or kababs, the visit to a village and let’s not forget the over-the-top wedding are shared in such a way that you (the reader) are also in awe.

All of these things coupled with the hospitality and love felt from everyone met doesn’t seem to translate well. However, I’ll do my best.

Let’s start from the beginning…

When my friend of over 17+ years asked if I’d like to go with her to a wedding in Pakistan – I immediately thought “YES”, however, this was a discussion with hubby before giving a definitive answer.

Of course he agreed that this was a once in a lifetime opportunity and he encouraged me to go for it!

Overview…

How many times does a person have the opportunity to attend a lavish Pakistani wedding IN Pakistan? Trusting my friend to make all the plans and ultimately dress me like dress-up barbie – that’s another story… I was off on what so far has been the best experience of my lifetime.

I didn’t just visit Pakistan, I was immersed into the culture as the host families have ultimately become my extended family. I didn’t sit back idly as a guest at the wedding events, I actually took part in some of the ceremonies.

I have over 900 pictures that truly tell the story. I feel that through these pics, I was able to capture an essence of Pakistan that is never seen nor considered to an outsider. As a result, I have created collages and written captions to aide you in taking part in this experience.

To say I had a wonderful time and met some wonderful people is an understatement. I know I’ve said this repeatedly… “Words can not begin to capture the true essence of my experience.”

We departed Dulles International Airport (IAD) December 13, 2018 @10:40p

December 15 – Day 1: Arrived in Lahore, Pakistan – freshened up, then took the local commuter bus (Daewoo Express) to Faisalabad, Pakistan (2-hr bus ride cost: approx. $8/per person).

First Impressions –

With any third world country the pollution is the first thing you notice.  Then you see the poverty and what appears to be chaos.  We arrived during the morning RUSH.   The traffic in Lahore is 10x worst than NY and Atlanta combined. However, with all the madness, there’s a rhythm to the traffic.  As mentioned earlier, I called it organized chaos.

Faisalabad here we come…

On the Daewoo Bus from Lahore to Faisalabad –  this is a 2-hr trip and costs approx. $8 per person

While in Faisalabad, we were fortunate enough to stay with my friends’ family. Their home sits next to the family farm/orchard. This time of the year fresh guava, oranges, and lemons were plentiful.

There was always an abundance of fresh fruits and vegetables – I’m sure walking through groves of fruit trees isn’t something pictured when you think of Pakistan? However, each morning the host would take his morning walk (we were fortunate enough to take a stroll with him one morning) and return with bags of fresh picked oranges and guava…

Strolling through the Orchards

This simple walk brought about a sense of inner peace.

Quiet Morning…

Sorting fresh cilantro

Fresh Roti anyone?

Delish!!!!

Faisalabad Family

Faisalabad – Captured moments…

Foodies! Pakistanis are the ultimate foodies…

EVERYTHING is fresh and delicious. A foodies paradise.

  I tried and enjoyed everything. Well, there is one exception – pickled mango. My friend says that this is an acquired taste. Doubt that I’ll ever acquire the taste – lol…

However, CHAI on the other hand – I don’t think that there is a standard recipe. Each cup I tasted was slightly different. One pink chai would taste different from another pink chai. The common denominator – they were ALL delicious.

Did someone say “CHAI”?

Pink Chai, regular Chai, the Best Chai… YES!!! Life revolves around a delicious cup of CHAI

Seriously, life does revolve around CHAI…

Picture taken around 3:00 am. Yes, we were out for a delicious cup of pink chai. No, there aren’t any women around that time of morning. OK, I was out with the guys

Yes, we’re sitting in the cold waiting for CHAI

…and we had fun waiting

Yes, you can get a message while waiting for your chai

Rusk! Did I mention, it’s delicious w/Chai

A quick Lahore breakfast would include a cup of chai and 3-4 ok more like 5-6 slices of rusk

Teachable Moments…

I learned that orange slices dipped in salt and pepper is actually very good.

Can you catch an Uber in Pakistan? YES!!!!

Pakistan has approx. 10% christian population. The schools are closed for Christmas to respect this 10% of their population

The government pays for ALL education. Yes, they’ll even pay for a PhD…

Drive your car up to the gate, pop your hood and trunk for inspection. Exit your car, walk up to gate – open purse, show contents. Walk into building, pass purse through x-ray, you walk through metal detector. Finally, welcome to Emporium Mall, Lahore, Pakistan.

Emporium Mall: The safest mall on the planet. Here’s a list of MY favorite stores:

Maria-B

Sana Safina

Cross Stitch

Hyperstar

Shopping!

Disclosure: I absolutely HATE shopping and trying on clothing. However, thanks to my friends and their patience I muddled through and purchased the most beautiful outfits for the wedding events – the embroidery and beadwork on the clothing is phenomenal. Added bonus, the pricing is great. Next time, I’ll focus on more everyday pieces.

Confession: Yes, I shopped til I dropped. The bazaars have LOTs of deals, however, you truly need someone that speaks the language and knows how to negotiate to get the best deals. I had a grand time selecting shawls.

Decisions, decisions…

I’ll take them ALL

Don’t Judge…

Yes, I purchased most of the shawls in front of him

Aren’t they beautiful?

Hospitality…

In addition to the heartfelt hospitality, I received dresses, necklaces and even a bouquet of flowers from the village we visited – I’m not much for showing my emotions, however, I’ve never cried so much in my life. Happy tears for the kindness that was shown me was astonishing.

Pakistanis bring a whole new meaning to our (US) definition of southern hospitality. EVERY home (no matter how meager or grand) will offer you something to eat and drink.

Even when shopping at the bazaars, the shop keepers will offer you meals. We had delicious samosa’s and mango juice when purchasing our custom gowns, we had mango ice cream while picking out shawls. Basically, you can sit and review (okay, haggle) prices and eat an entire meal during the process. Can we say customer service.

Here are some pics from my visit to the village. 

The day was spent eating and walking through the village and surrounding fields. THIS was a truly amazing experience. Enjoy the experience with me.

Welcome to the Village…

I was presented with a beautiful bouquet of flowers

By the way, I’m wearing a dress gifted to me by our host family in Faisalabad.

It’s all about family and food. You can’t ask for more.

Strolling thru Sugar cane

Eating sugar cane and oranges, while strolling through sugar cane fields – PRICELESS

Picking oranges – fresh from the tree – Delish…

A field of mustard seeds…

Just chillin’

These ladies had enough of us walking them through the fields.

The lady next to me is the oldest person in the village.

Village traffic

Okay… the original purpose of our trip: The Wedding…

Yes, I attended ALL of the events below. Additionally, I participated in some of the events too. The wedding was spectacular! It was like attending a royal wedding with absolutely nothing spared.

Listed as follows are the events I attended with pictures from the events.

However, please note – the definition of each event was obtained from this link https://www.desiblitz.com/content/the-pakistani-wedding-ceremony

December 19, 2018 – Dholki

Singing, dancing, and just usual gupshup are part of dholki sessions. The dhol, a large skinned drum, is played along with a metal spoon. Ladies of the family gather around in a circle around the dhol and sing traditional Bollywood and Mehndi songs about the bride and groom.

Our Lahore family. Having Chai after the Dholki

Friday, December 21, 2018 – Nikkah

The most important part of the whole ceremony is the Nikkah. Here the exchanging of the vows and the acceptance of marriage by both the bride and groom takes place. The nikkah is the most sacred matrimonial tie between a man and a woman. It forms an everlasting relationship between two people on the basis of two words, “I do”, said thrice by each of them.

The couple also sign the marriage contract or Nikkah-naama which contains all the terms and conditions agreed by both sides which they have to adhere too. Usually the fathers of both the bride and groom will stand as witnesses. Immediately following this, the groom’s side hand out wedding favours, or bidh, to all the guests.

I actually helped fill over 200 goodie bags for this event

Saturday, December 22, 2018 Mehndi 

usually the most anticipated events, because they are supposed to be the most fun-filled events of the entire wedding. Usually it depends upon the preferences of people, but mehndis are mostly are filled with dance numbers. Youngsters prepare dances for mehndis which are usually presented to the couple. Often times couples will dance on their mehndi’s too. Elders will put mehndi and oil on leaves in the bride and groom’s hands, and feed them mithai. The traditional colour for mehndi is yellow. The bride is supposed to wear yellow clothes, or have a touch of yellow in her outfit. Along with that her hands are covered with different designs of henna. Some brides also prefer their arms and feet to be covered with beautiful henna designs.

December 24, 2018 – Baraat

The Baraat comes next, which involves the ‘departing ceremony’ for the bride following the arrival of the groom in a procession to take her away. This event is held and organized by the bride’s family.

The most important part of the baraat is the Rukhsati. It can rather be a sad moment for the family of the bride, and the bride herself. The food on baraat is usually lavish and rich. Pakistani food items usually include pulao, biryani, chicken curry, kebabs etc. Kheers and halwas are usually part of desserts.

Baraats can be rather stressful occasions for the bride and her family. This is because it is a kind of goodbye between them. Also stress gets built up from all past preparations and events, which adds to it. Slow music is usually played on baraats. More focus is made on the décor and presentation of the event. Such is done because a lot of pictures are to be taken on Baraat day.

All in all, baraats are fun events with a little touch of teary and emotional moments. The most painful moment is when the father of the bride sends off his daughter to a completely new home and environment.

Makeup aka setup- lol

Horrible make-up day. Lesson learned – take your foundation to the salon.

Loved my outfit and the company I kept

We look beautiful despite my makeup

December 25, 2018 – Walima

The last main event is the Walima. This event is a grand dinner and reception hosted by the groom. This event is usually all about putting an end to the long series of wedding events, and to say thanks to guests and family. The dress and make-up of this event for the bride is usually chosen by the groom’s side. The food on the walima is almost the same as the baraat. The focus on this event is again on picture taking and just light gupshup.

When the walima is over, the wedding officially comes to an end. After this, the series of dinners and lunches start for the fresh couple. Makhlawa is one of them, where all family members and friends invite the newlywed couple to different dinners, lunches and brunches.

All of these events combined are what make the Pakistani wedding ceremony unique. The purpose of them is to make the bride and groom feel special, and to celebrate their future marriage wholeheartedly.

Love these two

Thanks so much for opening your home to me.

Our hosts while in Lahore.

What have I done since my return? Talk about my trip.

Coming soon…

I’m currently planning an evening with friends to share foods, pics, stories… of this experience. I will post pics soon.

Pakistan: Viewed thru the eyes of a Mature Black American Female I just returned from the most amazing trip to Pakistan, where I met many absolutely wonderful people.