angstbullshit-a - Tumblr blog

[angstbullshit-a]

EVERYTHING HERE IS BEING MOVED TO THE SINGLE BLOG OF HEIDIS,  NOTHING IS BEING DROPPED  -- THREADS & ASKS ARE CONTINUED OVER  !  

[angstbullshit-a]

deadass thinking about moving heidi to her own blog oh no 

[angstbullshit-a]

heidi: the first time i got admitted to the psych ward i - sb: the FIRST time ?  heidi: heidi:  heidi: why dd you ruin this 

[angstbullshit-a]

thinking about how heidi and cartman ending up fighting in the school corridor and that the fighting seemed second nature to them.... thinking about how the FUCK did they get to that point where they were comfortable just PHYSICALLY FIGHTING EACH OTHER... 

[angstbullshit-a]

“She was my whole world.”

[angstbullshit-a]

Winona Ryder in Beetlejuice (1988) dir. Tim Burton

[angstbullshit-a]

@spiriitum​​  sent  :  “ i’m going to hell on a full scholarship. ”  various pinterest muse board quotes  /  accepting. 

     ❛    how quirky of you    ❜    voice is steady,   uninterested in the other as eyes seemed dazed   --  heidi doesn’t really care about this,   didn’t have it in her to pretend  --  moments like these happened more often than what others are used to,   the only ones who can truly have consistency and not have to suffer through the mood swings are the goth kids,  she trusts them...  and they don’t spout bullshit in an attempt to seem both funny and edgy.  taking a small sip of the boiling hot,  black coffee in the mug,  enjoying the feeling of the liquid burning tongue     ❛   so not only are you saying you’re a bad person,   but so much so that the devil finds himself valuing socialism for you.  interesting.   ❜   she never really agreed with michaels infamous quote,  not completely...  but the one thing going through mind right now  ?  FUCKING CONFORMISTS. 

[angstbullshit-a]

𝒄𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒈 𝒕𝒖𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒓    /     southism​. 

✰ ─────  ❝    OH  ,   UH   -   ❞ craig hesitates for a moment  ;;   head raising slightly from his desk as he looks towards her  .   he remembers said project well   &&   if he was honest  ;   he probably slacked off a little more than he should have  .  he was more taken aback that one of the girls has asked him to  .   .   .   go out for ice cream ???     ─────   ❝ sure, i’d love to -  are you free after school today  ?   ❞

     the bubbly attitude doesn’t falter,  even as he stumbles over the sudden invitation.   smile doesn’t budge and she’s rocking a little on heels,    eyes bright and never leaving the others as she patiently waits.   clearly becoming even more excited as he agrees    ❛    i may be a few minutes late.  wendy needs to speak with the cheer squad,   but don’t worry she’ll understand if i bail out early though so it’s fine  --  if you don’t mind that,  i can do today for sure !      where do you wanna meet  ?   ❜

[angstbullshit-a]

heidi : babe ( platonically ),  are you okay ?  you didn’t pick my rare collection of troll topper pencils and picked the basic black and yellow one.... was it something i said ? 

[angstbullshit-a]

im FINALLY writing the show based replies  ( i always got distracted when making icons )  and heidi is that girl that seems normal but is actually weird in a really mellow way - 

[angstbullshit-a]

Neta L. “home”

[angstbullshit-a]

god listen i need to write this down and i can’t believe i didn’t, while it’s canon i still headcanon the girls treated heidi poorly and they did push her towards dating cartman again  :  it’s important to note that they were kids and i think even as heidi grows up ( honestly, speaking in her teenage years ) as much as she hated the girls for how they treated her and what they said about cartman... she doesn’t hold it against them, its one of those memories that makes her upset, uncomfortable and ashamed but it’s not a memory that she thinks about on night tossing and turning over.   while she still doesn’t get it and still feels hurt,   she forgives them !  and that’s where the acceptance of the memory comes from. 

[angstbullshit-a]

the energy here is either black eye or “i went overboard on my eyeliner / eyeshadow and yes i will do it again “ and either way i feel alive

[angstbullshit-a]

@partcfyouruniverse​ sent  :   “ i don’t know who i am. ” various pinterest muse board quotes  /  accepting.

     ❛   nobody does,   we’re all aimless souls making things up as we go along  ❜  cigarette falls to the floor,   a small amount of burn left as it slowly sinks to the bud :   face is looking down so it forces black hair forward,  allowing her to hide herself as eyes never move away from faint light that emits from the ash    ❛   and what does it matter if you don’t  ?    you learn one thing about yourself then it changes the next week,    so....  fuck it,  just be   --   just exist,  that’s all anyone can do.    ❜ 

[angstbullshit-a]

Manipulation Starters

Have some manipulation starters from both the manipulator and the one being manipulated. Some can be normal and non-manipulative, but this is to be taken with the tone that it is.

Trigger and content warnings for abuse and implied gaslighting.

"I only want what is best for you."

"Have I ever done something that truly hurt you?"

"What's best for the people is what I say it is."

"Of course I would never hurt you."

"Stop making me feel like I am crazy!"

"You're just manipulating me for your own gain."

"I have done everything for you and this is how you repay me?"

"Trust me. I know what is best."

"You're just imagining things."

"It hurts me that you think I did this to you on purpose."

"I am not playing your games anymore."

"It's not my fault if you took it that way."

"If you just listened to me this wouldn't have happened. You only have yourself to blame."

"This is your fault!"

"You made me believe everything you did was for the best, but you only wanted what was best for you."

"They will never love you like I do."

"You were right."

"Stay here with me where it's safe. You'll only get hurt out there."

"I can't trust you anymore."

"You've just been lying to me this whole time!"

"If you really loved me, you would stay."

"I'm not going to let you do this to me anymore."

"You trust me, don't you?"

"It would make me happy if you did this for me."

"You're a monster."

"Don't pretend that you ever cared."

"I am not going to be used anymore."

"It will break my heart if you're lying to me."

"I only hurt you to teach you a lesson. It's for your own good."

"It's for my own good. They know what's best."

"I should have just done what they said."

"This is my fault."

"I'm sorry, I should know better."

[angstbullshit-a]

@modestmuses​  sent  :  “ what  if  your  impression  of  me  is  wrong ? ” various pinterest muse board quotes  /  accepting. 

     heidi doesn't particularly like the way his words settle beneath skin,     which is why there was now an invisible wall between him and herself mentally.  though unfortunately no matter how much time passes,  she still hasn’t learned to listen to that first gut instinct and walk away the minute it rears its head,  second guessing herself was a nasty little habit    ❛   then is that not your own fault for giving me one impression over another in the first place ?   ❜  eyes are locked on his,   narrowing slightly  -  as if doing so would make him readable,   would somehow help her predict his motives :  though naturally what came of it was nothing,  simply an ache left in the attempts wake that wanted nothing more than the power of knowing what the future held in the terms of intentions. 

[angstbullshit-a]

𝒔𝒂𝒎 𝒘𝒊𝒏𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓    /     stanfordbound​ .

“I don’t really—– do the whole ‘friends’ thing.”  There was one boy a few years ago, Barry Cook, but Sam left before any actual relationship developed… so Barry was more of an acquaintance (at best) than anything else.  The same exact thing would happen here in South Park, unfortunately.  They’d be here until John was done hunting whatever he was obsessed with at the time and then he’d sweep back in and drag them somewhere else.  Never bothered asking his sons how they felt about all of it because those feelings didn’t fucking matter to him.  It was tiring.  Sam was exhausted.  “My father… he moves my brother and I around a lot- like, every couple of months a lot- so there’s no point in making connections with people.  Once we’re gone, we’re gone.  No calls, no texts, no nothing.”  He scoffed at the sky, pictured himself flipping John off.  “This is not how I saw my life going.”

         there’s a deep understanding felt in chest at his words,   even if his situation was a little more extreme than her own  :  the differences is what caused her mouth to remained sealed,  eyes locking on the others face as eyes glitter with sympathy,    she couldn’t tell what could be said to make the situation any better :   make it easier for the other,   so what follows next is a string of winging it and hoping it doesn’t sound like complete dog shit :    ❛   ever thought about just...  not going with ‘em  ?   ❜    mini bottle is brought to lips,   doing best not to finish it in one swing  ―      ❛  can’t drag you around if you don’t let them,  right  ?  ❜    and she knows deep down that its an easier hypothetical than reality,   but hopes that it would at least provide some food for thought that in the end,  a lot of tough situations no matter what they are can be left : even if leaving causes more problems in the future,  sometimes trading one for another is the best.