anikink-skywalker

[anikink-skywalker]

1944 - Snowball the cat tries to take over a machine gun in Normandy so she can shoot some Nazis herself.

[anikink-skywalker]

sometimes ………….. books that are considered classics…………. are worse

[anikink-skywalker]

@ Kesha

[anikink-skywalker]

Why y'all so afraid of historical gays

[anikink-skywalker]

WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE

flexing muscles sit-ups abs lifting weights push-ups physical activity running football biceps

[anikink-skywalker]

person: are you out of your mind?!

me, dissociating: quite literally, yes, i am

[anikink-skywalker]

I am Daenerys Stormborn and I will take what is mine with fire and blood.

[anikink-skywalker]

Assessing the Situation

Anakin’s Force Ghost: [grimacing] So…the Dark Side, huh? Who knew that thing still had a little life left in it, right? That is…disappointing.  Obi-Wan’s Force Ghost: Disappointing? Anakin, missing one of your soap operas is disappointing. This is awful news! After everything we made it through…[sadly] Oh, Luke… Anakin: Well, hang on guys, it might not be as bad as we think. We don’t completely know what we’re dealing with yet. Luke: [blinking] You…think it might not be that bad?  Anakin: Yeah, uh, I mean…what was he doing the last time you saw him? Luke: …murdering a bunch of Jedi? Anakin: [hisses] Ooh, OK, that’s…not great. B-but…was he saying anything? Luke: Like what? Anakin: You know, like…”I’m more powerful than you”, or…I dunno. [looks at Obi-Wan] Help me out here.  Obi-Wan: Idiotic pronouncements about his new empire, or how everything was all your fault even though you weren’t even home when it happened? [staring pointedly at Anakin] Luke: [thinking] Uh…well he seemed pretty upset? I think there was some rage-crying? [Anakin and Obi-Wan nod at each other] Anakin: Uh huh, OK, right, right. What’s the uh, Evil Overlord situation? Luke: What? Anakin: Like is he running the show on his own? Because, y’know, if that’s the case we definitely have better chances than if someone is in charge who’s not, uh… Obi-Wan: An emotional trainwreck? Anakin: [mildly annoyed] …I was going to say vulnerable. Has he got a queen, or an emperor or, y’know, like an ancient evil spirit brought back to life telling him what to do? [scrolling through Wookieepedia, concerned] You didn’t see any zombies, did you son? Luke: Zombies?! No, it’s just some Darksider guy. Obi-Wan: [stricken] Oh I swear, if it’s Maul again, I’m done. I’m done! Anakin: [holding up a headshot of Maul] Did you see anyone who looked like this, Luke? [leaning in, concerned] Was he talking about Obi-Wan a lot? Luke: No, no…it’s this…First Order leader guy…Snoke. Obi-Wan: [leaning back, defeated] Well, Anakin, I’m afraid this has all the hallmarks…  Anakin: [solemnly] Yep, it’s all there. Tears. Black outfit. Evil boss. Jedi massacre… Obi-Wan: [looking over Anakin’s shoulder at the holonet screen] Terrible poetry blog. Luke: [buries his head in his hands] Force help us. 

[anikink-skywalker]

[anikink-skywalker]

I’m Not Fooling Anyone 😑 (W/ @tallykat3, @welcome-to-the-joangle, & Jamahl Rawls)

[anikink-skywalker]

my favorite part of flying home to texas is when the pilot yells YEEEEE HAWWWW WE’RE IN TEXAS NOW BOYS and fires his revolvers into the roof of the cockpit. 

[anikink-skywalker]

a show like drunk history but it’s called drunk special interests and the guest infodumps about their special interest instead of talking about a history topic

[anikink-skywalker]

WE ONLY HAVE ONE WEEK TO APPRECIATE THESE DATES 

[anikink-skywalker]

me trying to find out if someone is gay: so are you, y'know…. a friend of the babadook?

[anikink-skywalker]

I’m surprised your Jedi insights are not more sensitive to such things.

[anikink-skywalker]

me: im tired 

Someone in walmart: NOT as tired as our TROOPS! 

[anikink-skywalker]

Just called my new boss by the wrong name in a meeting in front of everyone