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Piedmont will have absolutely no clue how to handle Post-Weirdmaggedon Dipper and Mabel.

The neighborhood kids play hide and seek and they’re hanging out on some random roof. You can’t beat them if you can’t reach them, suckas.

They’re outside every hour of the day. Literally. If you happen to be outside at two in the morning you might find them mid-magic hunt. Why not? Ford always said to take advantage of your insomnia for science.

Once some teenagers performing some weird Halloween hazing the Pines kids absolutely wrecked them. They literally have no chill.

For that matter, if you look Mabel in the eye, rumors say, you immediately have to play a game of cards with her. Never take pocket change anywhere near their street.

The pig goes with them. That’s final.

They say Dipper Pines has a six pack. They say he’s shredded. They saw he’s got a scar across the belly from fighting off a pack of wolves with his fists.

All the doors in the world are open if you know how to pick locks… Not that they’re saying they can. That’s implementing themselves in multiple unsolved crimes, and that would be stupid.

Feel free to add your own!

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I love how both corvids and parrots are in general highly intelligent, but where corvids generally have strict hierarchies, solve disagreements in the pecking order by fighting, and have a strong dislike for anything new or foreign until they figure out how to make use of it, parrots are just here to party.

The New Caledonian crow, who knows how to specifically build a tool in order to build another tool, never engages in play. These motherfuckers are smarter than some people with the right to vote, and they are Extremely Serious Birds. They don't have time to play, they got work to do and kids to raise.

And then there's the kea, straight-up titled "clown of the mountains", that has a specific vocalization for "playtime!". Scientists decided to try what happens if they play the Play Call for two fully-grown adult keas that are together in an area and can clearly see there is no other, third kea to make the call, and they just go "great idea, disembodied voice! it's TIME TO FUCKING PARTY!" and start wrestling.

Imagine working really hard in order to make it into a top university to study astrophysics, making it to your first Very Serious Class, sitting down full of serious determination, and the dude next to you is taking notes without using his hands, with a glitter pen he's shoved up his nose. And his notes are good.

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*places an orange just outside a fairy ring to see what comes out* science is more of an art than a science

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my dad–also a writer–came to visit, and i mentioned that the best thing to come out of the layoff is that i’m writing again. he asked what i was writing about, and i said what i always do: “oh, just fanfic,” which is code for “let’s not look at this too deeply because i’m basically just making action figures kiss in text form” and “this awkward follow-up question is exactly why i don’t call myself a writer in public.”

he said, “you have to stop doing that.”

“i know, i know,” because it’s even more embarrassing to be embarrassed about writing fanfic, considering how many posts i’ve reblogged in its defense.

but i misunderstood his original question: “fanfic is just the genre. i asked what you’re writing about.” 

i did the conversational equivalent of a spinning wheel cursor for at least a minute. i started peeling back the setting and the characters, the fic challenge and the specific episode the story jumps off from, and it was one of those slow-dawning light bulb moments. “i’m writing about loneliness, and who we are in the absence of purpose.”

as, i imagine, are a lot of people right now, who probably also don’t realize they’re writing an existential diary in the guise of getting television characters to fuck. 

“that’s what you’re writing. the rest is just how you get there, and how you get it out into the world. was richard iii really about richard the third? would shakespeare have gotten as many people to see it if it wasn’t a story they knew?”

so, my friends: what are you writing about?

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Hey, can y’all rb this if it’s okay to send you messages asking about your ocs, cause on god I wanna interact with y’all but I am terrified of being annoying lol

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I’m already missing HHN

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i lowkey ship tumblr ♠ twitter now

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Breakfast Across the Globe

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This is potentially life saving information everyone should know.

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omggg i love this idea so muuuuch!!!!!! i have so many ideas aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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I greatly need to let you know how much I adore himbo roman slowly dying because virgil pretty and virgil having no clue what's happening (it would be amazing to see logan watching this with Patton. Patton who's watching it like it's an amazing tv drama and logan slowly losing his sanity because "Patton please explain to me how Virgil cant notice Roman is in love with him"

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A prinxiety concept: virgils eyeshadow turning sparkly purple whenever Roman walks into the room he’s in. And roman, not connecting the dots, just thinks his eyeshadow is just permanently like that.

Or alternatively

“Virgil, that’s so weird. The closer I stand to u the more sparkly ur eyeshadow gets”

“… haha. So weird. I’m sure there’s no reason for that. So don’t think bout it too hard 👀”

Kdkdkdjjdjff anon please

Logan still hasn’t recovered from the skirt incident either

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logan angry moments

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Cinderella marries the Prince, part 1/2

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my favorite thing that’s ever come out of those dumb “gender reveal” parties, you know the ones, is that people make cakes and other baked goods for them right?

and since everything in this hellscape has to be gendered including colors, they gotta use both pink and blue frosting when they decorate to keep the prospective parents guessing before they cut the cake open and reveal how they’re gonna color-code their babies, but that also means:

people are out here making blue and white and pink baby cakes and just, unintentionally throwing the trans flag all over their pointless “gender” celebration and i think that’s just superb

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Holy. Shiitake. Mushrooms. You all are some talented motherfathers. This #SuperArtSaturday, I am LOVING the fun you all have been having with the characters, including the different looks! Like, seriously? Geeking. Out. Be sure to check out the post on Insta to see the artists! 🎨

https://www.instagram.com/p/CRupA2uMYR1/?utm_medium=copy_link

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