animelovernewbie

[animelovernewbie]

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[animelovernewbie]

watched two prithviraj sukumaran movies yesterday and absolutely adored one and loathed another 😭

bro daddy was so beautifully done. i would love to have more of his directorials in comedy genre. I haven't watched lucifer yet so that's on hold.

the other i watched and hated is guruvayoor ambalanadayil, it was so bad i regret watching it before sleep. you just have to be so insanely poorly written if prithvi can't endear me to a character.

[animelovernewbie]

amma classroom quote was victories come from forgiveness and not wars right? I think varadha is definitely angry at deva, but not to the point he wants to kill him. Vardha's temper has always been sorta mild, and I think that kill deva is more out of his duty as kartha than as Vardha's anger.

would be neat if what neel is trying to say is varadha should be varadha and cheat the system to free deva and not actually try to be the kartha when dealing with deva😁

So i watched salaar for the 20 times now and i noticed two big things.

1. The movie where Vara comes to get deva there is a dialogue that goes like " varadha wanted to take deva with him in any circumstances, and Amma didn't want deva to go " bro the scenes were totally opposite because bro deva after seeing his wifey expression he gets immediately that his wife 🤣/ bestie need him but don't want to trouble asking him because vara knows how much deva and Amma went through because of that place .

And about deva bro he would have been gone with varadha even if his amma told him not to because he can't let his wifey get hurt more than he already is so to sum it up all the dialogue writers ahh when it comes to them scenes don't go well with the dialogues .

2. You know one thing first it's not deva who controlled himself it's varadha who controlled deva . So when varadha said " i don't know how much he can control himself" babe you were totally wrong it's you who controls him 😤.

3 vara wears more dull clothes then deva that's all

Maybe I read too much into these but what can I do I am obsessed with prithviraj and prabhash and salaar I am so fucking excited for salaar 2 ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[animelovernewbie]

I'll never not find it fascinating that prashanth neel thought despite getting prabhas on board, that he was dreaming too big to get prithviraj sukumaran on board💀 neel's brain is wired differently I guess😭

but then I see people not get varadha rajmannar and understand why he thought that. It wasn't a role that would have high and hype moments, but a very resilient and king-ly character in its own way that one wouldn't understand unless you look at him really deeply

[animelovernewbie]

rinda didn't have the scar on his cheek in past, but has a very glaring one in present. most probably something deva did considering rinda ran away after seeing deva.

but what would be the reason? Is rinda authorised to stamp the seal on anything he wishes? Or is rinda being a double agent for radha rama? Or is Rinda acting on Varadha's orders? there are so many thoughts😭 GIVE ME SALAAR 2 NOW

[animelovernewbie]

tears in my varadeva eyes hearing neel say he wanted to get an actor who shows the shade of both love and hatred of varadha 😭🥹🥹 when we get scenes that are angsttttty and dive into their love-hate relationship🤌 give it to me NOW.

i totally believe those resigned unwilling varadha interpretations at interval now.

[animelovernewbie]

the tear rolling down deva's eye will always kill me when varadha says he shouldn't have bought him here and that he would be fine anywhere else. all deva wanted to say there was no, he wouldn't be fine anywhere else but by Varadha's side😭😭😭😭😭

“I will come whenever you ask me to”

“I shouldn’t have brought you back”

[animelovernewbie]

THIS THIS THIS YES IMAGINE 😭😭😭😭🩷🩷🩷🩷 THE HAPPY ENDING WE DESERVE IS DEVA GRABBING AN ELECTRIC POLE AND ALMOST DYING AND VARADHA FORGETTING EVERY MOMENT OF ENEMITY AND CRYING OVER HIS UNCONSCIOUS FORM AND PUNCHING HIM TO WAKE UPPPP!!!!!

This is what we need as ending. this would also explain why the ending parallels the starting, IN A GOOD WAY. (I don't want to imagine a sad parallel that ends with varadha not being able to save deva and realising their enemy phase cost him deva🥲🥲🥲)

Varadha wouldn't have reached 40s if Deva didn't leave Khansaar because how much stress he would have experienced daily because Deva keep putting himself in danger even though he already begged him not to. Especially seeing how people be treating Varadha like shit every single day it's either Deva died young for protecting Varadha's honor or Varadha have a heart attack whenever Deva just run off fighting anyone who dares to challenge him lmao I mean look at the poor boy he was so stressed out! When he realized that Deva wasn't standing beside him anymore when he talked with Rudra lol he was so panicked like where the hell was my boyfriend going and sprint in instant trying to catch up to him no way he was doing what I thought he would do.

Varadha is indeed not like any other bestfriend a hero would have in another kind of movie where they usually would have cheered or encouraged his friend at first if they got into a fight or anything but not with Varadha, he has this love interest concern when a hero got into a fight, afraid for their safety and wish they didn't have to do that in the first place.

Also I need to include the video clip for this because the way Varadha was dropping to his knees and then calling Deva with the softest "Deva" I have heard from him like he's calling him from the afterlife pulling him back to life by his voice alone because there's no way he's allowing him to die and leave him behind in this wretched place.

The way Varadha gritted his teeth, grabbed on his shoulder so tightly till his knuckles literally turned white and punched Deva's chest with all his might so his heart will not stop, he was so so scared that he might lost Dvea. Varadha is not going to let Deva die on his watch. Gosh the love that they have for each other ever since they were young making it hard to believe that one day they would want each other's death. It's just didn't add up.

[animelovernewbie]

the way it didn't even register for me that it was his first kill...i wish I was better with words but I've adored scrolling the blogs of varadeva in Tumblr 😭 love y'all for this and this fandom will never die down we may be small but we'll keep it running like the problem is indian cinema is made in such a way we are functioned to see the actors than characters and salaar is a film I saw first time believing varadha to be a fake friend or someone who doesn't love deva as much as deva loves him. It's a trope that's very common and the word being friends turned enemies just made me watch it that way. even THEN, I still fell for their "friendship" because I've been programmed as telugu audience to nod along when makers say bromance and adjust with half baked romance for straight couple. what happened as byproduct was, I actually failed to understand salaar at its idea level and what it's trying to say because I believed I need to be smarter and that the makers were fooling me with their friendship. Cut to 6 months later, some force in world made me watch neel's interviews, and found the varadeva tag in Tumblr. i didn't scroll it yet but I watched salaar later 2 times and became OBSESSED when I truly believed varadha to be a friend who truly loves deva. and neel interviews just convinced me more to BELIEVE the friendship, and be assured that he's not tryna fool us with a fake out at the end. and that's also when I understood salaar as a film, with every character motives, and varadha as a character and prithiviraj sukumaran's portrayal of him. that's how i understood neel when he said varadha is the drama point of salaar because YES he is, because if you can't see him as a legit main character, then you won't understand salaar spiritually.

this is my experience lol we telugu film lovers are fanatics of cinema so we carry a lot of baggage from bad films and bad writing choices😭 (after hearing neel in interviews , I'm absolutely SHOCKED at the attention to detail he pays as a writer. I didn't believe KGF director would be such a prominent writer than director but salaar really showed me his writing is severely underrated and his direction just overshadows it just like prabhas scree presence just overshadows his acting)

Let’s talk about the first kill

How heavy everything was for Deva, and also for Varadha, their circumstances, the land they were born into, their people and their way of lives, their fates and how they eventually have to turned into this demon at some point, like their ancestors who always long for fight and blood.

The way Deva was regretful at the outcome of what he had done, of what he became, looking down tearfully and pitifully, his eyes wondering around trying to grasp the reality of it all, finally it dawned on him about what just happened, almost like he came back to his sense after losing control and going auto-pilot in killing spree.

This must be his first kill ever, because when he escaped Khansaar he was just a young boy and I bet living with Amma he mustn’t gotten into trouble that he need to kill anybody, perhaps he had gotten into a fight with someone over some misunderstanding, after all he’s a strong big man, but I am sure he didn’t need to go as far as killing anyone in his path.

He was just a blacksmith, hard laborer that did honest job for a living just to get by, though he probably always sparring in his spare time, preparing for something, for a war that he was sure that one day he would be called to but more than that again he never really need to kill anyone before.

And yet after he landed in Khansaar, it didn’t take him a week to kill, even Deva himself felt it heavy in his soul, the rage that he had kept inside himself, he finally unleashed it and let it consumed him fully because that kind of beast has always been dormant inside of him, because this land awaits for him to spill blood.

The way Deva look up like he was asking the deity or anything at all above that might look over him, “is this who I truly am? Why you created me this way, are you listening? Do you condemn the path that I chose to seek justice?” And after that I think he made peace with who he was, closing his eye and believed that he didn’t do anything wrong, that his action was justified, his rage was justified and accepted the fact with new clarity that a vengeful angry demon in his veins is needed to cleanse this violent land, the symbolism wasn't lost on me either here that Deva was fully covered in blood like he was baptized in blood and rebirth into this new person.

Gone was his "innocent", he was ready now to take the path that's truly meant for him, a path that nobody dare to take because it will consume him and he might lost himself completely in this road, as Nietzsche said "He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." This is never easy for Deva. It's going to take tolls in his soul.

That's why later on when got into 2017 present deva we got glimpse of him being haunted by himself, the demon that he saw on the mirror, that even he couldn't recognize it and is scared of that reflection, even his mother was aware of his presence that she tried her best to re-tame it again by forbidding him from even getting close to anything that could be used as a weapon because it could and would awaken the sleeping beast.

Let’s also observed Varadha’s reaction when he finally opened his eyes to see what Deva had done, what he finally became, he was at the brink of crying because this was the same overwhelming side of Deva that Varadha remembered when they were young.

Varadha knew that Deva had it in him to turn into this kind of fearsome man. Varadha remembered that memory as clear as a it was just happened yesterday how Deva could frightened him by the intensity of the things he could do even beyond Varadha’s wildest imagination. This man is untamable beast and Varadha just brought him back to the place that literally would make him lost control.

That’s why Varadha tearfully told him in prison later on that he wished he didn’t bring him back to Khansaar, he regretted his decision because what Khansaar would do to a man like Deva.

Varadha said he knew that this is how it would end once Deva came back to Khansaar, what he meant by that was that he knew that Deva wouldn’t be able to hold back the way Varadha had done for the past 25 years living amongst the beasts who basically do whatever they want in Khansaar because the law only applies to the weak while the lords and people in power is basically can do anything and people would close their eyes over it but not his Deva, Varadha knew it all too well the kind of man his deva is in the face of injustice.

Imagine how many many times Varadha was at his last straw that he almost couldn’t endure it and wish he could call Deva back to fix, to fight, to change the tide of Khansaar but he hold himself back thinking that Deva would do great anywhere else but not here in Khansaar, this place is evil, too volatile for Deva’s hot blood and not to mention the history of how his people was massacred in this exact same land, that’s why Varadha only brought Deva back when he literally see no way out, not for himself but for his brother, he called him to protect the only thing that Varadha deemed Valuable in his life, because nothing else left for him in Khansaar, Deva and his hope and his love and his everything, he had brought it all with him long time ago.

That’s why I think Baachi’s death that we all knew and speculated was by Deva’s hand turn Varadha into entirely different person. 😭

.

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PS. Anyone who said that Prabhas didn't emot much as Deva then tell me about the innocent Deva that played with kids and a good son to his mother, the tortured soul Deva haunted by his past, the Deva that was so devoted to Varadha, the Deva that's possesive, the violence Deva, the soft hearted Deva that's basically always have tears in his eyes, those are all in one movie 😭 my man is giving his best and people be blind about all of this just because they like to judge too quickly without actually trying to understand the material fully first. 😓

[animelovernewbie]

characters that make themselves monsters, to fight even bigger monsters.

[animelovernewbie]

cannot believe prashanth neel made a film that has no heterosexual explanation 😭😭😭

[animelovernewbie]

The Threats The Promises

They mocked Deva or taunted Varadha with threats but Deva remembers it like a promise, he never forget, he indeed has Shouryaanga's blood running through his veins, they hold grudges, they keep it in their heart closely and will take revenge ten fold than what's been done to them. That's why Rajamannar fear them so much he built a high wall around Khansaar just in case one of them live "The Shouryaanga's vengeance is unimaginable" he said.

Why it had to be the head when it come to Vishnu and Naarang's deaths? Because they mentioned about chopping off Varadha's head and Deva is one who always fulfill a promise and he delivered just as they requested. They got what they asked for.  Even with Vishnu the way he just spiked him through his head and hold him up like an umbrella for a moment because Vishnu mocked Varadha about not having anyone holding an umbrella for him. So Deva turned him into an umbrella like "here an umbrella for you" lmao Deva is ruthless, he is quiet like a cobra that will strike when he's ready. Almost to the point of merciless, his impulse and his rage is too big that he has to keep it inside because he could hurt people greatly with it.

Or the way Naarang stupid head asking Varadha to place his head at his feet, Deva made sure that Naarang's own head would roll perfectly at Varadha's feet, because Deva likes to be precise. People can't talk shit about Varadha unless they want Deva to show up at their doors and give them what they asked for.

Also the way Deva slapped the goon that taunted him by slapping himself with Deva's hand, the asshole did it three times and Deva counted it, he slapped him back with his own hand twice at first and used the last blow to really knocked him off his feet to make it three times just like he did it himself before 😂 he even remembered the sentence that the bad guy said to him "it hurts really bad" in mocking manner in which he later throw back at him as he walked away with "does that hurt?" after he slapped the shit out of him lol

That's why I keep remembering about Deva's warning to Rudra, if he ever dared to touch Varadha's nose ring again then it won't be a wire next time but an electric pole, and the mofo indeed touched Varadha's nose ring again and Deva might've heard about this from Baba, Bilal or Rinda or even Baachi and I think in Salaar 2 Deva gonna yank out Rudra's nose ring till he's bleeding to avenge Varadha's humiliation and Deva probably gonna throw him or kick him till he's on the wires and burned him on that electric pole till he die lol that's how I see Rudra's end based on Deva's track record keeping score with his promises. Let's see.

[animelovernewbie]

IN LOVE WITH HOW CANON COMPLIANT THIS IS😭😭😭 VARADEVA IS REAL

Salaar: Scene Interpretation!

Fog lifts from the harbor, dawn goes down to day

An agent crests the shadows of the nearby alleyway

Piles of broken bricks, sign posts on the path

Every moment points towards the aftermath,

Deva and Amma were traveling from village to village, escaping from something or somebody. But nobody was actively pursuing them, like they did with Aadhya. In fact, Radha Rama (through Vedha) was just trying to find them discreetly by searching through the cctv cameras across the nation. Even Obulamma, Radha Rama's closest maid had no idea about this. The search mission was so secretive that Vedha hid the photo of his target behind the papers in his own den and refused to take his name even when he was among his men. It was as if they feared some kind of retribution if people got an inkling that they were searching for Deva.

Sailors straggle back from their nights out on the town

Hopeless urchins from the city gather around

Spies from Imperial China wash in with the tide

Every battle heads toward surrender on both sides

Then news of Aadhya's arrival brought a breakthrough for them. They started actively pursuing Deva in the guise of searching for Krishnakant's daughter to punish her for whatever Krishnakant had done seven years back. Their instincts proved right. With Aadhya, they finally found Deva. Radha Rama formed the plan of using Aadhya to make Deva break the seal and start a war between Deva and Varadha. Because she knew, if one of them would die, then the other would follow.

Bells ring in the tower, wolves howl in the hills

Chalk marks show up on a few high windowsills

And a rabbit gives up somewhere, and a dozen hawks descend

Every moment points toward its own sad end

Deva and Amma left Aadhya and Bilal in Tinsukia. Before they could go far away, Amma saw those two being surrounded by Rinda's men, Bilal putting a brave front and then finally surrendering on seeing themselves outnumbered. Amma looked at Deva to see his reaction to find him completely focused on driving away. Amma looked back again and saw Aadhya being stamped with the seal and put in the truck along with Bilal. Deva didn't need to look back to know they were captured. He knew exactly that would happen the moment he left them behind and drove away. But he was bound by his mother's word.

Ships loose from their grins, capsize and then they're gone

Sailors with no captains watch a while and then move on

And an agent crests the shadows and I head in her direction

All roads lead toward the same blocked intersection

When Bilal recognised the seal on Aadhya and realised whose truck it was, his first reaction was to hold the pole tightly and ask Aadhya to do the same. He knew that Deva was not only going to break that seal, but was going to put on a grand show while doing that. And Deva didn't disappoint him. He went all out to stop the truck. He knew to whom the truck belonged. He knew the consequences of stopping that seal. He was not just saving Aadhya, he was sending a message to the man, who was ignoring his existence for the last seven years.

And I am coming home to you

With my own blood in my mouth

And I am coming home to you

If it's the last thing that I do

Varadha didn't have to be told, he already knew it was Deva who stopped the seal. There was no exhilaration in his reaction, like one would expect when someone finally found the thing he was searching for all these years. In his demeanor, there was just reluctant acceptance of the consequences of Deva's actions. Varadha never pursued Deva, nor did he allow anyone else to do the same. He knew nobody could find Deva, if he didn't want to be found. He understood the message Deva had sent. Just like he had accepted every impulsive action of Deva, he accepted this too. He knew Deva was coming home, to him and he was ready to welcome him, even if it was the last thing they both do.

[animelovernewbie]

Here you can find my edits, theories or whatever I post ❤️🙏 I will keep it updated👍

( Salaar, mostly Varadeva)

The edits

Pretty boy(varadha)

Sniper wifey(varadeva)

Varadha(blue)

“I knew you in another life”(varadeva)

Wildflower(varadeva)

I am here for you(young Varadeva)

Government hooker(varadeva best duo)

Girls just wanna have fun(Mahara women)

White Mustang(Shiva Mannar)

Everything is blue(prithvi)

You belong to me(varadeva)

Don’t you have any friends?(varadeva)

May I take your breath away(varadeva)

Besties to Arch enemies(varadeva)

The theories (more like my nonsense)

Varadha villain??(Reblog)

Young varadeva (headcanon)

Similarities with karna & duryodhan (updated)

Seal (a rant)

Seal (a rant pt2)

HE JUST WANTED 2 sec of PEACE

Memes and random posts

Merry Christmas??(varadeva)

Sexiest men alive cover(varadeva)

What are we?(varadeva)

Me,my boyfriend deva and his Varadha pillow

Let’s paint khansaar RED

Prithvi(about part 2 ending)

Achilles and Patroclus quote with varadeva

Which could mean nothing(varadeva)

Deserves better(varadha)

Don’t fix, just join him in his insanity

Deva didnot care

Nor these two

Karta Shiva mannars supremacy

Should have been lovers

I have a lots of drafts(edits or whatever comes to my mind i write it to not forget😂)

[animelovernewbie]

you drew stars around my scars

[animelovernewbie]

i swear i only have three types of ships-

(screaming in agony continues)

"can you guys just communicate so that i can be in peace?!"

(kicking my feet in the air) "sooo when's the wedding?"

also knows as the holy trinity of angst , hurt/comfort and fluff

[animelovernewbie]

absolutely losing my mind because of these two!!!

so.

are these two actually toxic, or are they just kids who don't know how to communicate? easy, they're just kids! (this was fast)

reading the manga will not make you understand that (or im just stupid), and this is why I'm thanking the author on.my.knees for the spin-off!

so.

after watching the anime I fled to ao3, of course. read some works about Rin and Isagi, managed to not spoil myself anything.

then i read the U20 arc. after reading every ryusae I could find (writing one myself rn, doing god's work) I finished to read the manga cause, yk, I wanted to know what would happen with my babies and then boom! Reo and Nagi!!!

I didn't particularly care about them at first: Nagi was strong ofc, but kind of boring? he's not my favourite archetype, and while I loved Reo I hated their fight and wanted nothing to do with them. key word(s), at first.

then, then! I randomly read some fics about them cause they'd started to grow on me, and boom, tons of fics about their breakup/makeup. stunning works, ofc, but I started to see so many "Reo's fault" "Nagi's fault" "toxic relationship" that I kind of started to get uncomfortable (sometimes people throw around the word toxic when it's nothing like that), so what's to do? read the spin off ofc.

that I did, and now not only I love them both with all of my heart, but I'm Reo's number one fan (and kinnie)!

and I developed a deep hatred for those "toxic x" theories and takes. SO. let me blabber and rant.

they love each other so much!!

this is Nagi.

he thinks "damn, soccer/football is a pain, I hate sweating and running, but I don't hate Reo" even though most of the time he spends with Reo is spent playing soccer/football (I won't choose one english is so confusing- in italian it's literally called kick).

he doesn't feel forced to be Reo's friend, he likes it.

because Reo loves him, it's as simple as that.

he wants to be Nagi's friend "despite" Nagi's personality: this is something he currently says through the spin-off, which made me cry- Reo truly is the first person who ever accepted Nagi as someone who is lazy and unmotivated, who complains a lot, who doesn't put any effort in what he does, who doesn't offer much.

Or at least he thinks that he doesn't have anything special to offer, until Reo arrives.

he still has those terribly self-deprecating thoughts, but now he has something to offer, his talent.

(and after a period of happiness, their honeymoon phase one could call it, he starts to doubt the sincerity of Reo's care. from thinking "i'm not his slave, i'm his partner" he starts to doubt Reo's honesty: "maybe he only wanted to be my friend because of my talent, a talent he knows how to use"- since he still thinks that he's got nothing to offer! but we will talk about this later.)

this is Reo!

he thinks "I wanted to be the one who could make you love soccer/football, the one able to light up something in you" but he also thinks "seeing you like that, even if it wasn't me who'd done that, made me happy".

he's so jealous he's almost funny, and isn't that the most teenager thing ever?

who wouldn't be jealous after working so hard to be special to someone, just for someone else to take the place you're working so hard for?

it's terrible, but still, it doesn't stop Reo from being happy that Nagi found something exciting.

something that made Nagi as happy as the combo Nagi-soccer/football made Reo happy.

the thing is, Nagi thinks he's Reo's friend because of his talent, which maybe it's true. maybe, hadn't Nagi been a genius, they wouldn't have become friends, but his talent was the sparkle that made him become Reo's treasure.

Reo is someone who has everything, who gets everything he wants, or as he says everything except what he really wants.

for that, he has to work.

so, what he wants is to play soccer/football, and to play it with Nagi.

(in order to be Nagi's friend, he needs to work hard, because he needs to be honest and gain Nagi's trust- this is how friendship works: even when it seems flawless and easy, there's so much work behind it, and knowing it is important. most of the times we only realise it once we lost that bond- for example, Nagi. Reo already knew it, and this is why he tried so hard to not leave Nagi's side)

at one point, the two things became linked to one another, and his dream turns into "winning with Nagi, my partner". Because Nagi is talented, is special, and Reo saw his talent, and how Nagi was unable to do the same. He wants to show Nagi that soccer/football is fun, that his talent isn't a pain, that he is special, because Nagi doesn't know it, and for Reo a star that doesn't see his its own light? is just preposterous.

He cares for Nagi and loves everything about him, even all the "bad" things, and he doesn't think that Nagi has to change, and this is what, for me, makes their break-up way more serious and relatable for a lot of people.

it triggers a "I'll change to be better" "for me you never had to change" "I need to change for myself" dynamic.

2. changing and longing is way more fun when you're doing it together!!!

so they split up.

Nagi doesn't do it because he likes Isagi more, or because his style of play is more interesting, he does it because Isagi was stronger than Nagi and Reo: entering Blue Lock, Nagi had trust in Reo's ability to use his talent to win, he didn't even think about failing, and while Barou came close to making him feel like he could loose, Nagi overpowered him at the end- but then Isagi beats Nagi, and Reo with him.

Nagi understands that Reo's dream can't become reality if they aren't the strongest, and if being together doesn't work, maybe they should split up, part ways, become stronger and then join forces again, and win everything. win the world cup.

while his friendship with Isagi is sweet and I love them, for Nagi Isagi is like a cyclette.

he'll use the cyclette to get get fit and make his bf swoon over his legs, he won't stay with the cyclette once he doesn't need the training anymore. and even if he will, it will always be just the cyclette he uses to get fit "for" his bf.

(metaphor isn't metaphoring)

Reo doesn't know that.

he knows he's strong, but he knows that Isagi and Nagi are on a whole other level and he feels threatened. he fears that Nagi will choose Isagi instead of him, and he tries desperately to not loose Nagi.

Nagi is his dream. Slowly, day after day, Nagi became part of his dream, and now he's losing not only his best friend but the dream that made him free.

Reo says it himself- he knows that Nagi did the smartest thing by leaving, but he's young and scared and sees it as Nagi leaving him.

He feels abandoned, and he thinks that Nagi is abandoning his dream to go with the bigger fish, the apex predator, in order to become the best striker, by forgetting the promises they made at the start of Blue Lock, to stay together til the end.

Neither of them forgets the other.

Nagi leaves, and all he thinks about it "I need Reo to see this" "I can't wait to let him see how much I've improved", and he misses Reo, just as much as Reo misses him.

the only difference?

Reo is oblivious about Nagi's real feelings and thought process, and his thinking of Nagi turns into spiraling into depression and self-hatred.

so Nagi changes.

he starts to see the beauty in soccer/football, he finally sees what Reo had tried to make him see for months, and he's thrilled. he's having fun. he's grateful that Reo convinced him to not discard Blue Lock immediately. he's different.

different why? because Isagi beat him? because Blue Lock happened?

he changed not when Isagi beat them, but the moment he became Reo's friend, and found a reason to do something.

because Reo was the first person to ever tell him that his laziness, boredom, his oh so troublesome antics were alright, that he was what he was, and he was enough not only for Reo, but for the whole world.

Reo accepted him even when he was set on being static, made him want to change, and now that he's changing he feels worthy of being loved so much.

"you saw something in me back then, you forced to me work hard, and now thanks to you I ('m on my way to) realised my own worth, now I found something exciting"

he changes.

Reo sees him after what, a few days, and he's already improved so much.

and he thinks that he was Nagi's cage, his personal dead weight, that Nagi may have been his treasure but he wasn't Nagi's. that Nagi doesn't need him anymore. if Nagi doesn't need him, what will be of his dream?

(we could start a long-ass post ab mental health and recovering but I won't for my own sanity)

what's his worth then, since he got into Blue Lock just to stay with Nagi till the end- especially when he can't even be number two, with Isagi there- and Nagi won't be with him anymore?

he needs to change too.

3. destroying yourself in order to change (no fun)

Reo says that he isn't brave enough to destroy himself like the others do.

Isagi, Barou, Nagi, Chigiri, they all destroy themselves in order to become stronger and change, evolve, but Reo can't. he's scared, he's confused, the whole arc is just him looking like that. then what does he do?

he lets Nagi destroy him. "If I can't do it, Nagi will" don't you understand you're doing exactly what you say you're unable to do? the fact that you're not the one pulling the trigger doesn't mean that you're not killing yourself

he pushes Nagi until he snaps and tells Reo to fuck off, that he's a pain, that he's weak and someone Nagi doesn't want anything to do with, because that's what Reo thinks.

He thinks Nagi doesn't want to be with him anymore, he's feeling guilty for what he thought (later later), he's insecure- and instead of being reasonable, he founds a way to confirm his "irrational" fears.

"I'm not being insecure since Nagi confirmed it"

he sabotages himself. that's the nail in the coffin.

instead of destroying himself with football/soccer, by learning from a lost match, he destroys himself with life, by putting on the line his relationship with the person he (not exaggerating) loves most in the world.

he's unable to distinguish life from soccer/football (and this will be the aspect that makes him so different from most of the other characters), because since meeting Nagi they've become one thing. soccer/football is his life, Nagi is his life, because they're his only chance at being happy.

(Nagi is able to distinguish between the court and Reo: this way, Reo is just as special as Isagi is, since Isagi may have made him see the fun in soccer/football, but Reo made him get angry. Nagi who thinks that his strong quality is the fact he never gets angry, that he's a pacifist. Isagi is his soccer/football revolution, Reo is his life revolution.

Reo can't. they all insult each other on the field, but they're all friends afterwards. not Reo. not yet)

now he's lost Nagi, and his dream, and he has to pick himself up from the ground.

this is how Reo changes.

4. miscommunication is a beast

As I said before, Nagi starts to think that Reo only cared about him because of his talent. he's angry at Reo. he doesn't understand why Reo said those things, why he was so stupid, why he didn't understand Nagi.

he says "I'm not his toy" and he isn't, but really, try to get into his shoes.

he thinks his partner, his best friend, doesn't believe in them as a duo anymore, doesn't want to believe in them like he used to now that Nagi has changed, now that he's more "independent" from Reo.

"what, now that I know how to fight alone, he doesn't want me anymore?" that would be anyone's first thought.

and he doubts Reo's trust in their dream.

when did Reo start to have so little faith in them, in Nagi? when did he give up on them? he thinks that, after spending weeks trying to improve just to make Reo's dream true.

and he's angry, but he still hopes to play with Reo again.

he still want to, because him and Reo are partners and Nagi still believes in their dream. because he remembers Reo's passion, and he believes in him.

+) 5. being relatable as fuck

(what kid with absent/abusive parents never thought back on their action and went anxiously all "Am I just like them?")

Reo begs Nagi to stop being so strong, stop improving so quickly, stop running towards a place Reo can't reach yet, and isn't this a human thing to do? He desperately wants to be with Nagi, and thinks that he'd rather stop him from improving rather than lose him. He thinks "Please, give up on your dream, your ego"- and isn't that familiar?

he just thought the same thing his father, a man he hates and despises and who doesn't believe in Reo, told him. and he said that to Nagi. Nagi who gave him a ticket to the top by being at his side, who let him see hope.

he panics. am I just like him? Am I cruel enough to wish for someone to give up on their dreams, just to get something out of their failure?

he's different from his father, because he's seventeen, he's scared to lose his best friend, and we can be irrational in situations like this one. does he know it? no, the same way he doesn't understand that Nagi didn't left because of him.

so yes, he's in the worst head-space ever.

isn't he relatable? this is what that made reo my favourite character in a second, probably. he's so human and he makes so many mistakes and he's so stupid sometimes, but I can see myself in him very clearly.

and now.

in what way is their relationship not balanced? their love and care not mutual? in what way one used or manipulated the other?

I think they're flawed, and they made mistakes, and they hurt each other, but I also think that we throw in the word "toxic" the moment a relationship isn't perfect.

they're friends and they're teens, they will make mistakes and they will hurt each other, and their friendship (and they were roommates) won't be perfect- this doesn't make it less genuine or beautiful.

don't get me started on what happens in the manga (really don't do it) (all of this was just nagi's spin off!!!)