annebannisterphotography

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The following comes from former WH volunteer Anne Bannister:

In 2012, I spent the fall of what was my junior year of college serving as official photographer and director of Public Relations/Communications for Warm Heart.

This past May I graduated from Southwestern University in Georgetown,...

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A photo-mixed media exhibit to share the stories of the Thai children with whom I fell in love and reveal the heart of their community

I have just launched this kickstarter campaign. Please help me spread the word!  

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Until we meet again in Neverland

I never wanted to grow up.

I had a storybook childhood, immersed in imagination and creativity.  I believed in fairies, adventure, and protagonists who fought to better the world. I searched for ways to escape the end of childhood, for my Neverland. How ironic then, that it would take growing up for me to find it.

Thailand is of this world, yet an alternate reality. I left my head and my heart with the children who gave me purpose.  The experience, the work and responsibilities, drew from me a version of myself I had never met before.

I was hyper-human. I could carry the weight of a brand new sponsorship campaign, balance three small children on my back while spinning in a circle, and pick the sad child from a crowd and make them smile again.

In caring for the boys and girls I grew up. Like Wendy, in the Peter Pan story, I became something of a mother figure for the lost children. In nurturing them I discovered a true passion for working with kids. A passion I pursue. 

I am different. I am now a grown woman.  I stepped proudly across a threshold I had previously tried to thwart.  I held an important intern position, worked with people from a wide range of backgrounds, paid bills, managed my time and money, learned to handle my liquor and attention from men, and mentored a generation of hill tribe children who have the opportunity to reshape the future of their region.  

I am afraid the children will replace me with new interns who will love and play with them.  But I know I left a mark. J.M. Barrie wrote in Peter Pan, “You know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? That’s where I’ll always love you. That’s where I’ll be waiting.” Even if Warm Heart begins to feel like a reverie, I will forever hold my time there in my heart and be waiting in my dreams to reunite with the children I bade goodbye to. The future may hold a whole host of new adventures, but of one thing I am certain. I will return to Thailand, to meet again the children who gave me flight in Neverland. They are my happy thought.

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I truly love all of the boys and girls but Nipa affected me on a level different from the others. I can’t point to a moment when it happened, or fully put into words what sets her apart. The term “soul mate” is a person with whom one has a feeling of deep or natural affinity or compatibility. Despite a limited vocabulary of shared words, our communication and compatibility was natural and easy.  This 10 year-old Akha girl made sense to me, and when she looked into my eyes I felt like she was reading my story. When she looked solemn I wanted to return the light to her eyes; when she smiled my spirits instantly soared. 

Saying goodbye to her was one of the hardest things I have ever done. The night before I left I went to see the little girls in their shared room. They were preparing for bed. Nipa lay under a blanket fort she had created with Vigo curled up asleep at her side. I sat down on the ground beside her. Eyes glistening, she asked me in Thai--though she already knew the answer -- if I was leaving the next day. I nodded and told her I was going home to be with my mom, dad, and older sister, and that I had to go school. She asked my sister’s name and age. I told all I could manage about Allison through simple Thai, and then asked about her sisters. Nipa is the youngest of nine. To prevent either of us from crying she pulled out a learning how to read Thai book of the “See Spot Run” variety. Nipa read a line pausing for me to repeat. As I got the hang of it she would pause for me to fill in blanks. As I repositioned to get more comfortable on the ground she closed the book indicating bedtime. She curled up and closed her eyes, the back of her hand just barely touched mine.

I stayed until she fell asleep, then heart aching, turned to give the two girls who were still awake goodnight hugs. Nipa bloomed under my affection; I watched her ignite a newfound confidence.  She stood a little taller and laughed a little more freely.  From the beginning she was very attentive of the young girls from her village and she dedicated a new energy into mentoring them. In the beginning she never let me photograph her unless I was in the image with her, but by the end she greeted the camera with poise mature for her age. She could play as hard as the rest of them, but Nipa was an old soul who was crazy about me. I was heart broken to leave her. I could not physically say goodbye without first promising myself I would be back.

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The second to last day I was at Warm Heart, Michael took me and the girls to visit their homes in Arye. It was an incredibly powerful and emotional trip. With the conclusion of the rainy season I had the chance to visit two other villages, but I desperately wanted to see theirs.

We took a full truck into the mountains. Fellow intern Devon and I sat in the back with all seven of the Akha girls and Suda, 18, who is assistant cook at the Children's Home. The girls' faces shone with joy. The air in the back of the truck was thick with happiness and love. Knowing I was leaving this in two days time, my heart was heavy. For three hours we were tossed about in the truck. The road was treacherous, but the view stunning. The higher we climbed the more spectacular it became. Obchoei, 5, has a distinctive shrill laugh that can be heard above any clamor. She led all of us in a victorious, cheerful chant, "ZOO ZOO YAY YAY ZOO ZOO!" We were willing the truck to pull through every rut, to conquer every peak, to deliver us to the home the girls were desperate to see. 

Arye is nestled in between the peaks of two mountains. My first glimpse of the small village took my breath away. The moment my feet touched the ground, Café took my hand. As girls went shouting and scattering in all directions, she pulled me down the road toward her house. Her older sister Atittaya, 9, took Devon's hand. We met Atittaya and Café's mother, younger sister and brother. The younger sister, who is three, has a lazy eye that the family has had trouble correcting because other kids pull the patch off. I learned later the little brother and an older brother, who is at school in Chiang Mai, both have hemophilia. The family spends everything they have - which is very little to begin with - on treatment for the boys. Immediately the little sister took me by the hand and heart. Though I was a total stranger she grinned and grinned at me and led me on a walk up and around the curved road the village is built on. 

Nipa asked me and Devon to have lunch as guests in her home. She, her mother, and Suda prepared a feast for us on the fire in the kitchen corner of the one-room house. We sampled boiled and fried worms and an amazing dish of pork ground with herbs and lime. Nipa's father welcomed us to their home and by the end of the meal invited us to be part of the family. I was moved to see Nipa with her parents. They might not have owned many things and her father may drink heavily, but it was clear they love their daughter. 

I was very happy to see what appeared to be a highly functioning family. Not all of our kids are so lucky. Obchoei's father is strung out on a number of drugs and steals any money his wife manages to make. Michael has tried repeatedly to convince the mother to leave and come work for Warm Heart; but she won't. She says it is her duty as a wife to stay with her husband no matter how bad things get. Karakade's father was not going to waste an education on a female child. She approached Michael herself asking to come to the Children's Home. I had heard pieces of each of their stories before, but visiting the village confronted me with their realities on a new level.

I wished that I could have stayed longer. I understood at Warm Heart we were living in a Neverland: a happy, serene environment, shielding children from poverty capable of robbing them of their innocence. At Warm Heart they are not forced to grow up too soon. They live and learn, laugh and play in a space where imagination and creativity are encouraged and youth is protected. Access to a formal Thai education assures that hill tribe children do not remain linguistically, culturally and economically isolated. I hope that these kids use their skills and education to work hard and then give back to their villages. Many of the girls say they want to be teachers. If just one of them decided to teach at the empty one room school in Arye, then already they would be offering an invaluable service and impact the lives of other children. 

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