annemiek19 - Tumblr blog

[annemiek19]

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[annemiek19]

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[annemiek19]

Jesse answering what he took with him from set 😊

[annemiek19]

Ulcer - Jay Halstead

Your husband Jay Halstead has never been one to complain about anything. No matter how much pain he was in, you never heard him about it. The whole day Jay had been acting off, and you had a feeling that something was going on, but he was a grown man. If there was something wrong, he knew he could talk to you. You saw him sneaking off to the break room, while working on a case. You watched him as you saw him gripping his side. That’s it. You stood up from your desk and made your way over to Jay. You shut the door behind to you give you some sort of privacy. “Jay, what’s going on?”

He was leaning against the counter of the kitchen top. with on hand, his other hand still on the side of his stomach. “Nothing, I’m fine.” 

“Look at me and say that again.”

Jay slowly turned around, he was still leaning against the counter. He looks you right in the eye and said, “Y/N, I am fine.” 

But you could see he was lying. You could see the pain in his eyes. “You’re a stubborn idiot, you know that? You can’t to me, Halstead. I can see that you’re in pain. So you either say what is bothering you or-.”

Before you could finish your sentence Jay rushed over to the trash can and puked up blood. 

“Jay, that’s blood. What the hell is going on?” You helped him to one of the chairs. He sat down with a load groan. 

“I don’t know. My side has been killing me the entire day. I thought it was nothing.”

“Clearly it isn’t. Let’s go see your brother.”

Jay sighed, but he stood up. You quickly let Voight know what was going on before rushing to the hospital. 

In the car you called Will. 

“Will, I am coming to Med with Jay. He said his side has been bothering him all day and he just threw up blood.”

“Jezus. Okay, I will let Maggie know that you’re coming and get Crocket down here. Any other symptoms?”

You look at Jay. 

“Nausea, a little light headed,” Jay groans. 

“I also don’t think he ate anything today, Will.”

“Okay, we’ll wait for you at the parking lot. We’ll figure this out, Y/N.”

“Thanks Will. We’re pulling up in about two minutes.”

You hang up the phone. You quickly shoot a look at Jay. All the color has drained from his face now. God, you hate seeing him like this. 

Arriving at the hospital, Will is already waiting for you with a wheelchair. For once, Jay didn’t protest. 

Will hurried into the ED. “I’ll come find you when you can see him, okay? He’s in good hands,” Will said as he and a nurse helped Jay on a bed. 

“I know. Thanks, Will.” You looked at Jay before you made your way to the living room. You sat down and sighed. It wasn’t your first time in this waiting room, while Jay was in the ED, but every time it sucked just as much. All you could do was wait and you hated it.

“Y/N?” you looked up and saw Matt Casey from Firehouse 51 standing in front of you. 

“Hey, what are you doing here?” You stood up and hugged him. 

“Gallo got injured and we came to check on him. What are you doing here?” Matt asked. 

“Eh…” you let out a breath. You tried your best not to cry and be strong, like always, but seeing your friend here just made it a lot harder. 

“Everything okay?” Matt asked worried. 

You shook your head as you sat down. “It’s Jay… He threw up blood and has this pain in his side. He’ll probably be okay, but it just sucks you know? It’s not the first time im here, and probably not the last time, but I hate this. Waiting and doing nothing, not knowing how he’s doing.”

Matt sat down next to you. “He’s in good hands, Y/N.”

“I know… but still. It’s like he’s always the one getting hurt. Sometimes I just wish it was me, you know?”

“I can imagine, but then Jay would be thinking the exact same.”

“Probably. That man is just as stubborn has hell. Are all guys like that?”

Matt laughed. “Most of us are, yeah. We just don’t like to complain.”

“Idiots.”

Matt laughed again. 

“Is Gallo okay?”

“Yeah, just a few scratches. Look, I’ve go to have the station, but I’m a call away, you know that.”

“Thanks, Matt.”

“Any time. Let me know how he is doing okay?”

“Will do.”

You and Matt say goodbye just as Will walks into the waiting room. 

“How is he?” you ask standing up. 

“He has an ulcer,” Will says and suggest to sit down again. 

“An ulcer?”

“Yeah. Basically it’s a break on the skin, in the lining of an organ, or on the surface of a tissue.”

“Isn’t that caused by stress?”

“It could be. In Jay’s case I would probably say yes. He has to take some antibiotics for two weeks and take it easy. So no work for him for at least a week.”

“And then he’ll be fine? After those two weeks of antibiotics?”

“He has to come in again, but he’s likely going to be fine.”

“So we can go home?”

Will nods. “Yes, please. Take him home. He is being a pain in my ass.”

“Aren’t I always?”

You look up and see Jay looking at you with a smile. 

“He is on some pain meds right now, hence the happy smile,” Will says. 

“Thanks, Will.”

“No problem. Just keep him home this week, okay? Plenty of rest.”

“You’re no fun,” Jay sighs. 

You chuckle as you stand up from the chair and wrap your arm around Jay. “I’m glad you’re doing okay.”

“I’m always going to be fine,” Jay says as he kisses the top of your head as you make it back to the car. 

You roll your eyes. “Until you are not. Just please let’s stay out the ED this month. Just no more getting hurt or I will be getting an ulcer.” You get into the driver side of the car. 

“At least you’re driving now.”

“As if that makes up for you getting hurt,” you snort.

“Are you mad at me?”

“No… maybe a little. It’s more frustrated. You keep getting hurt and I am so done with it.”

“I'v only been to the ED twice this month.”

“Three if you include today, and that’s the bigger stuff. You had four times when you ignore the advice of a trained medic and just went home instead of the hospital. Jay, you are going to end up dead one day and I…” You couldn’t even finish your sentence. You park the truck in the parking garage of your building and get out the car as fast as you can. 

“I won’t. I’ve never been hurt that bad.” Jay steps out of the car.

You turned around. “Until you are!” You yell at him. “You don’t know how bad is going to be next time, and don’t say there won’t be, because I know you, Jay. There is going to be a next time. And one day, I am going to get a call that you didn’t make it. One day, you are going to get hurt so bad, that nobody can help you.”

“That’s not true, Y/N.”

“Oh, really? How do you know? You’re always the one getting hurt Jay. For the 10 years we have been on the job, I have seen Kevin in the hospital once, Adam I can’t even remember, Kim has been here once, I think I had to go to the hospital three times. How many times do you think you have been there?”

“What’s your point?”

“I think you have been there at least 5 times in a year. Whether it was a small cut or a freaking bullet hole. You have to stop getting hurt. Because what about me, huh? What about me when you leave? Have you ever thought how it makes me feel to be in that waiting room every time? What about me?” Tears roll down your face. “Have you ever thought what it is like for me? How it feels for me when you get wheeled into the ED, again and again? You’re not the only one getting hurt if you get shot again. I have to watch you in pain. I have to wait in that damn room, hoping that they will come out and say you made it and that you are going to be fine. But you don’t know how slowly the clock ticks when you’re waiting for those words. You don’t know how much it hurts sitting there, knowing that the love of your life might not come back.” A loud sob leaves your mouth. You step away from Jay and turn around. 

“Y/N…”

You hold up your hand. Hopefully Jay gets the hint to leave you alone for a few seconds. One day this fight, or discussion or whatever you want to call it was coming, you both probably knew it. You just didn’t expect so many emotions to come out. You take a deep breath before you turn back around. Jay is watching you with tears in his eyes well. 

“I love you, Jay. I love you so much, but you can’t keep doing this. You can’t keep getting hurt.”

“I love you, and I’m sorry, for all the pain that I have caused you. But all I am trying to do is protect you, make sure that you walk away without a scratch. Because I can’t loose you.”

“I can’t lose you. Just promise me one thing, because I want to go to bed right now and watch a movie.”

“Whatever it is, I promise you.”

“Just be more careful. I know this wasn’t the last time, but I can’t keep doing this. It’s part of the job, I know and I understand, but you don’t always have to be the hero, okay? At the end of the day, we both need to go home without a pitstop at the hospital.”

Jay slightly chuckles. “I promise I will be more careful.”

“Good. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Jay says before he kisses you. 

[annemiek19]

Baby - Jay Halstead

Working together and being together can some times be very difficult. You and your long time boyfriend, Jay Halstead, are working together in the Intelligence unit. Right now you got a call about a shooting. Turns out, that shooting happened in Jay’s CI appartement. 

Walking up to the apartment of Jay his CI, you could already hear a baby crying. The both of you share look before pulling out your guns and making your way to the apartment. You slowly walk forward as Jay checks the room on the left of you. 

“Clear,” he says and you both walk forward. There is blood all over the walls. The floor is covered in it as well. Walking into the living room, you see two bodies lying on the ground, both covered in blood. The baby is in a crib watching how the two people are dead. You quickly put your gun back in your holster before you reach for the baby and pick it up.

“Ssshh, you’re okay,” you say with a quiet voice as you bounce the baby up and down. 

“It’s they daughter…” Jay says. He checks for a pulse on the victims, but they are both gone. 

You pull the baby closer to you, trying to calm her down. Jay in the meantime makes a call to the rest of the team. 

“How could this have happened? Why kill the parens and leave the baby alive?”

Jay shrugs his shoulders. “She does have some blood on her arm.” Jay steps closer to you and the baby and looks at her arm. “There is no cut or anything. Let DCFS know that they should go to med, just to be sure.”

You nodded, leaving your partner at the scene while you go give the baby to DCFS. They just arrive as you walk out of the apartment building. The baby has finally stopped crying and has even put her head against your neck. 

“DCFS?” you double check.

“Yeah. Is she okay?”

“She looks okay, but let med check her out just to be sure.”

The DCFS lady reaches out for the baby, but as soon as she puts hands on her, the baby starts to cry again. 

“It’s okay, you’re okay,” you say as you start bouncing her again. 

“Can you tell me what happened?” The lady asks. 

“Parents were murdered. Baby probably saw the whole thing. She was crying when we arrived.”

“And she stopped after you picked her up?”

You nodded. “It took a few minutes, but then she calmed down.”

The DCFS lady nodded. “Let’s try again. Even is she is crying, just give her to me, and walk away. We’ll go from there.”

“Okay.” You hand the lady the baby, and it Starts crying and screaming. You take a few steps back, but the baby isn’t calming down. It’s turning around and reaching towards you. 

The DCFS lady walks back to you and hands you the baby back. “It’s a response. Older children have it as well. After a traumatic fact, the person that finds them, is the person they connect with. It’s probably the same with this baby. Look, I have a lot more to do today and a crying baby is the last thing I want. Can you take care of her for now? It’s in the best interest for the baby.”

Shocked you look at the lady. How can she say this? “Let me check it with my sergeant.”

You grab your radio. “Sarge. DCFS is here about the baby. They tried to take the baby and it started throwing a fit. Something about the trauma. Short story, can I take care of her today? DCFS said it was okay.”

“Get her checked out at Med, then meet us back in the district. We’ll go from there.”

“Copy you.”

The DCFS lady hands you a car seat and her card and then she is off. 

You look at the baby. “Let’s go to Med then.” You walk towards your car and put he car seat in. Right as you shut the door, Jay comes rushing towards you. 

“Voight told me to come with you.”

“Awh, I thought I could finally drive,” you pout. “I’ll get in the back seat with the baby. Do you know her name?”

“I have no idea.”

Both of you get in the car and Jay drives to Med. 

After getting the baby checked out at Med and you got some supplies from the hospital, you went back to the distract. The baby is sound asleep now. 

“You’re so good with kids,” Jay whispers as you get the baby out of the car. 

“It makes you think, huh?” You ask as you wiggle your eyebrows. 

“We never had that conversation… you want kids?”

“I think so. You?”

“Me too. It would be fun to have a little you running around?”

“Or a mini you,” you smile at Jay. Both of you make it upstairs. You put the baby down in the kitchen, before you go meet Voight in his office. 

“How is the baby doing?”

“She is sleeping right now, but as DCFS said, she has a trauma response, probably. It’s hard to tell with a baby. They checked her out at Med and she is okay. We don’t know her name, but she is asleep now. I also got some emergency stuff from the hospital. Look sarge-.” You got cut off by the door flying open. 

Jay walks in with the crying baby. “She just woke up. I tried to stop her from crying, but it’s not working.”

“I got her,” you say as you reach out your hands. You grab the baby and immediately she calms down. 

“I see what you were trying to say,” Voight says.

“Doctor Charles said that it has something to do with smell. The baby recognizes Y/N’s smell and she knows that she is safe,” Jay says. 

“DCFS said it was okay for you to take care of this baby?”

You nod. “Even the hospital singed a form, so right now I’m her guardian.”

Voight looks at Jay. “What about you?”

“Oh, I’m fine with this. It’s the best for the baby.”

“Okay good. You two can go, figure out whatever it is that you need to, like baby stuff and all that. Keep your phones on in case we need you.”

After a shopping trip at Target, you found everything that you needed. You are wearing the baby in a baby carrier, while Jay is putting the crib together. 

“I did think this would happen in another order,” Jay says. 

“Me too, but I’m not too mad about it.” You look at the sleeping baby and can’t help but smile. 

“We need to think of a name, though. We can’t keep calling her baby.” Jay stands up from the ground and looks at the crib with a proud smile. 

“I love it. But how do you name a kid? Like just pick a random name that we like?”

“Yeah. Her mom was called Anya and her dad Michael, maybe that helps.”

“I always loved to name Mia, it could stand for both her parents name.”

“I like it.” Jay walks over to you and peaks at the sleeping baby. “Too late to have the baby conversation now,” he says with a slight smile. 

“Yeah, pretty much.” You both laugh, but quickly stop as you hear the baby, Mia, making a noice. 

“She’s lucky that you found her,” Jay says and kisses the side of your head. 

“She very lucky to have you too.”

[annemiek19]

Pregnancy pains - Jay Halstead

“Sarge, please let me stay here. I will stay at my desk, but please. Don’t let them put me answering 911 calls. I can’t sit behind a desk all day answering phones.”

“Y/N, you’re pregnant. That’s how it goes in a unit like this.”

“Sarge, please. I am begging you. I can’t leave this unit. You guys are all I have. If I can’t be here, then I will go crazy. And you don’t want a crazy pregnant lady on your hands.”

Voight sighs. “Fine. But you stay up here. You don’t go out in the field. And I will need your gun in the meantime.”

“Done,” you say and place your gun on his desk. 

“Told anyone else yet?”

You shake your head. “The biological father is a pussy and fled. Right now I just want to keep this for myself. Well, between me and you.”

“That’s your choice. But you are started to show a little.”

“I know right,” you say with a smile and place your hand on your belly. It’s still so weird to you that there is growing a human being in you. 

Your first trimester was a living hell. Everything made you sick. You were throwing up all the time, you could barely hold down anything. Up to the point your partner from the unit, Jay Halstead, had to take you to the hospital several times because you were severely dehydrated. The second trimester on the other hand was amazing. You had basically no symptoms at all, your baby was growing good and you were feeling good and you were very happy that you could go back to work. You were now in your third trimester. You were still working. Everyone from the unit was so caring. They got you everything you needed. But Jay was the best of all. You and him always had a special bond. You were more than just partners, you were family. With the baby being so close, he moved in with you to help out if you needed anything. The baby’s biological father bailed after you told him you were pregnant and you had no family in Chicago. So Jay has been helping you with basically everything the last few weeks. 

“Okay, I got decaf ready. We’ll stop at that bakery place on the corner for some breakfast, alright?” Jay said as you got out of your bedroom. 

“Yeah, sounds good.” You sounded exhausted, which you were. You barely slept, your back was hurting more then usual. But you couldn’t sit at home, you wanted to go to the district. Besides, if anything were to happen, you’ll probably be better off at the hospital then home alone. 

Jay looked at you for a moment. “Are you good? Are you sure you want to go to work?”

“I’m okay. Didn’t sleep great and my back is killing me.”

Jay opened his mouth to say something, but you cut him off. “I’m fine. That’s what I get for caring a human. I’m okay. Now let’s go, I’m hungry.”

Jay chuckled as he gave you your coffee and you made your way to the car. On your way to the district you the unit caught a case, but Jay insisted on going to the district with you and wait for the rest of the team there. 

Walking into the district, Trudy greeted you with a smile. “Morning. How are you doing?”

“Could be better,” you said, half out of breath for dragging yourself up the stairs, and you still had another set of stairs. 

“Then why not go home? Get some rest?”

“No. I want to be here. So we’re going to work. Just got a case,” you said and started to make your way upstairs. 

“Keep an eye on her, Halstead,” Trudy said. 

“You know I will.”

Half way up the stairs, you had to stop to catch your breath. 

“Y/N…”

“Jay, don’t ask. Just help me.”

Jay sighed, but he held out his hand and helped you up the stairs. You didn’t even sit down one second before the rest of the team showed up. They started to fill you in on what happened, but you didn’t catch one single thing. You took a few sips of water, but you were still sweating like crazy. You couldn’t catch your breath.

“Y/N, you got that?”

The sound of your sergeant snapped you out of your thoughts and you looked up. The whole team was looking at you. 

“What?”

“Are you okay?”

You opened your mouth to say something, but now it was Jay that cut you off. “She is going to say that she is fine, but she is not. I just texted Will, he said to come in.”

You looked at Jay and you felt kind of betrayed. All you wanted to do was work, you wanted to feel okay, but now he was going to drag you to the hospital, the last place that you wanted to be. 

“Okay, take her,” Voight said. 

Jay gave the file he was holding to Kim. You slowly got up from the chair, giving yourself a moment to steady yourself. 

“I hate you for doing this,” you mumbled as he grabbed your hand again and helped you to the car. 

“I know you don’t hate me.”

Arriving at the hospital, Will was already waiting for you with a wheelchair. “Lovely to see you again, Y/N,” Will said as you sat down.

“I wish I could say the same,” you sighed. 

“Jay told me you weren’t feeling well. Natalie will be down here soon.” Will rolled you into a room and you sat down on the bed. 

“I just got some back pain.”

“And she was completely out of breath walking into the district and almost couldn’t make it upstairs. She was out of breath, Will. And then she zoned out for a while, sweating like crazy.”

Will hooked you up to the monitors as Natalie walked in. “Hey guys, how are we doing?”

“Back pain and some shortness of breath,” Will said. “And add an elevated heart rate as well,” he said as soon as the monitors went on. 

“Can you tell me more about your back pain? Is it your lower back or more on side?” Natalie asked. 

“It’s more the right side. It’s my lowest back, but it also feels like its radiating to my legs or something. It also feels like my lower leg and feet are sleeping.”

“Okay, so that is called sciatic nerve pain. It’s basically your body preparing for birth. I can give you some medication for the pain. You could also try to see if a message could help. Laying down on your left side should take some pressure off. Going for a swim, warm showers or a warm compress usually helps.”

“Some medication would be great, Nat. So that is nothing to worry about?”

“No, that will pass on its own. Usually after birth that feeling will be gone.”

“Good,” you breathed out. 

“Are you still out of breath?” Will asked. 

“A little.”

“Any chest pains, dizziness?”

“No. I just feel tired, like I could sleep for an entire year.”

“Okay, we’ll give you some oxygen and we’ll do and EKG.”

“Okay.”

Will placed the oxygen mask in place.

It turns out that the EKG showed that you have supraventricular tachycardia. It’s basically an arrhythmia in your heart.

“We’ll monitor you here for a few hours. Sometimes it passes on it’s own. Otherwise we can look at some medication. Have you been resting enough?” Natalie asked. 

Jay let out a laugh. “Sorry, but Y/N and resting? Not happening. The first trimester forced her to rest, but after that, she has been going non stop. And she’s up in the middle of the night cleaning the kitchen or the bathroom.”

“I can’t help it, okay. Everything just needed to be clean. And that was only a few times!”

“Y/N, you have to take it easy. For your sake and for your baby’s. We’ve seen you here too much already,” Natalie says. 

“I know. I just… I hate sitting still and work is my only income. I’m all alone in raising this baby and paying for everything.”

“I understand, but you getting yourself in the hospital again, isn’t good for either of you. So from now on, take it easy. Work from your bed if you have to. But take it easy, it’s an order.” Natalie also looks at Jay. “You got it, too?”

“Yep. She’ll be resting from now on.”

“Good. Now, let’s check on this baby, shall we?”

After a full day in the hospital, Natalie finally lets you leave. Your heart rate was normal again, so she said again to take it easy and get plenty of rest. Which Jay took literally as he basically put you in bed.

“You know you’re not alone in this, right?” Jay said as he walked back into your bedroom with the pizza.

“But I am. As soon as this baby is born, you’ll go back to your own apartment and I will be staying up every hour of the night. The next time you’ll be seeing me if is this kid is 18 and going away for college.” You take a bite of the pizza. 

“Who said anything about me leaving? I haven’t even thought about it.”

“Jay…”

“No, hear me out on this. I care about you, a lot. And I haven’t said anything, because you are pregnant and you should be focusing on you and your baby, but if it is up to me, I’m not planning on leaving. Not ever.”

You feel the tears in your eyes. “Jay… I…”

“I can go if you want me to. Just say the word.” He sounded disappointed. 

“No, that’s not it at all,” you say quickly. “It’s just that my hormones and feelings are all over the place. I care about you a lot too, but right now that is all I have. But I don’t want you to leave, ever.”

“Good,” he smiles and takes a bite of his pizza as well. 

[annemiek19]

You could start a cult - Jay Halstead

One thing you always knew, was there you were safe with Jay. Whatever you were doing, wherever you were, you were safe with him. If it was a work situation or at home, you were going to be okay with him. He would have your back and you would have his. Neither one of you saw this coming. Neither one of you was prepared for this. A high speed car change during the winter in Chicago changed everything for the two of you. That night, heavy snow fell. It froze so much that the snow was more ice then snow. You were in the car following in a suspect. Jay was driving. You grabbed ceiling roof handle tight as you sped down the streets of Chicago. You saw it happening to the suspect. The car were the suspect was in, slid across the road. There was a plaque of ice on the road, none of you saw. 

“Jay, watch out!” you yelled, but it was already to late. Jay tried to break. You could hear the tires screeching, before you smid across the plaque of ice. Your car hit a car on side of the road and you started to tumble around. That was the last thing you remembered. The next thing you knew, you were looking into the eyes of your friend and fireman, Kelly Severide. 

“She’s awake!” he yelled. He stepped aside and you were blinded by the light from the sky. 

“Jay,” you croaked out. 

“We’re going to get him out too. Right now, Sylvie and Violet will get you to med, okay?”

“Is he okay?” you asked Kelly.

Kelly didn’t respond right away, and with that, you knew how bad he was doing. Tears formed in your eyes. “If you can talk to him, just tell him that I’m alright, please.”

“I will do. We’ll come see you at the hospital,” Kelly said before he walked away. 

Sylvie and Violet put you into the ambulance.

“How bad is it?” you asked Sylvie. 

“It’s a miracle how relatively small your injuries are. You probably have a concussion and a broken leg. Some cuts here and there, but you seem to be doing okay.”

“And Jay? Did you see him?” 

Sylvie looked at you with a sad look. “He was unconscious. His side of the car was pretty damaged. Squad had to get you out first, because they couldn’t open his door. He’s in good hands, Y/N. They will do everything that they can.” 

You looked at the ceiling, trying to blink away the tears. The thought of losing Jay… You couldn’t imagine your life without him. 

When you arrived at Med, everything went by in a haze. Will came to check in you, but you barley said a word to him. Connor confirmed that you had a broken leg and a concussion. You could go home soon. There was still no word on Jay. After a few hours, you were released and you waited in the waiting room with your friends colleagues from Intelligence, your friends from 51 also came to check up on you and Jay. Time went by so slow. Waiting for an update was the worst. You had no idea how the love of your life was doing, and with every minute that passed, you felt your heart breaking more and more. 

“How are you doing?” Trudy’s question snapped you out of your thoughts. 

Immediately tears formed in your eyes. You didn’t look at her. You didn’t want to break down. Not now. Not while he could still be okay. “I’m…” You weren’t fine. You weren’t doing okay. You had no idea how to respond to Trudy her question. 

“We’re all here for you,” she said as she grabbed your hand. 

After four hours of waiting, there was finally an update. Jay was in a coma. He had a lot of internal injuries. He had a brain bleed. They had to put him in an induced coma. 

You were the first one to see Jay. His faced was so pale, it had bruises all over. Other then that it just looked like he was asleep. 

“Do you have a guitar?” you asked Will.

“Yeah, let me grab it for you.” He squeezed your shoulder before walking out of the room. 

A little while later he came back with the guitar. “I’ll leave you to it. I’m right in the hall, same as everyone else.”

“Thanks, Will.”

You grabbed the guitar. You started to play a few notes before you started singing a song you heard on the radio a while ago. When you heard it for the first time, it felt like the song was written for you. It described how you felt towards Jay, that you would do anything for him. 

“Darlin', I will give up everything. Who I'll be and who I am. You can have it all. Baby, you could start a cult, you see. Anywhere you go, I'll be. You are so much more than beautiful to me. Oh, I'll follow you 'til there's no tomorrow. I’ll follow you 'til there's no tomorrow. I’ll follow you 'til there's no tomorrow. I’ll follow you…”

After you finished the song, tears were streaming down your face. “Please be okay,” you cried out as you grabbed Jay his hand. “I can’t do this without you.”

For weeks, you were in and out of the hospital. Your leg was now fully healed and technically you could go back to work. But you didn’t you spent all your time with Jay in the hospital. Earlier today, Will send you home to take a shower and maybe sleep a little. He would call you if anything would change. You did exactly that. You only wanted to get a nap in for an hour or two, but that turned into a full 8 hour sleep, before you got woken up by your phone. You snagged your phone from the night stand when you saw it was Will. 

“Will, what’s going on? Everything okay?”

“Just get your ass in here, Y/N.”

“Why? What’s going on?”

“Just come to Med.” With that, Will hung up the phone.

You quickly grabbed your keys and rushed back to the hospital. 

You were running down the hospital hallways in your pyjama, hair in a mess and you were still wearing your unicorn slippers. 

“Where is he? Is he okay?” You asked as you rushed into the ICU. 

Will was waiting for you right by the entrance. “Calm down, he is okay. Just come see,” he said as you rushed over to Jay his room. You stopped in shock when you saw what had happened while you were away. He was awake.

“Hi babe,” he said with a smile. 

“Oh my god,” you mumbled. You looked at Will. “Is this real? Is he really awake?”

Will laughed as he nodded. “He is awake and doing good. The first scans were better then expected.”

You dropped your bag on the floor as you rushed over to the bed, hugging Jay with tears in your eyes. 

“You’re really okay,” you whispered. 

“Yes, I’m okay. I’m right here. I’m so glad you’re okay.”

“Me too.”

Jay scooted over so you could lay next to him. You snuggled up against him, something that you really missed these passed weeks. 

“How long have you been awake?”

“Two or three hours I think? They did some tests and scans. Will wanted to make sure I was okay before calling you. He said you’ve been here pretty much 24/7?”

“Yeah, I couldn’t leave you alone. I was… I was just so scared I would lose you. And needed to be here.”

“But I’m okay.”

“You are now, but for hours I didn’t know. They got me out of the car first because they couldn’t get to you. You were doing pretty bad.”

“Will also said you would sing the same song over and over. Can you sing it now?”

“Sure.” You grabbed the guitar and sat now on the chair next to the bed. You started to sing the same song, You could start a cult by Niall Horan. 

“We heard that song on the radio, when we were on that stake out,” Jay said. 

You smiled. “Yeah, it just described perfectly how I felt towards you. I would do anything for you. I can’t imagine my life without you.”

“Me neither. Which is why I had Will bring this over.” Jay grabbed a little box from the night stand. He opened it and there was a beautiful diamond ring in it. 

You looked at Jay in shock. 

“Will you marry me?” Jay asked. 

“Yes!” You got back on the bed and kissed him. It felt like it was the first time all over again.

[annemiek19]

Shot - Evan Buckley

Having a firefighter as a boyfriend and your brother being a firefighter came with a lot of stress. Today was supposed to be a day to get that stress away from you. You were on shift with the two firefighters to see what they were doing all day and how things were happening on calls. What you didn’t know was that today was going to cause you more stress then ever. 

You were standing right outside of a house where the team rescued a kid from his mother who was poisoning him. 

“That kid is lucky he met you,” Buck said to Eddie. 

“I’m just glad we could help. It could’ve ended very bad.”

You were standing next to Buck. “It’s amazing how you do it. It goes so natural for you all. Besides, you look very good in that uniform,” you said to Buck with a smile on your face. 

“Gross. I don’t have to hear how my sister likes our uniforms,” Eddie said with disgust. 

You and Buck laughed about it. That was the moment it happened. You heard the shot before it hit someone. Your laughter got caught off. Before you could react, Buck fell to the ground. People were running away in fear. You stood frozen looking at Buck. Everything around you was moving in slowmotion. 

“Y/N, get down!” Eddie yelled. He rushed towards you and pulled you to the side behind a fire truck. Another bullet hit the truck, just a few inches away from you. Buck was still laying on the street, bleeding out. You saw Buck moving. You looked him right in the eyes, and you saw the light going out in his eyes. You wanted to scream, yell at Eddie to do something, but nothing was coming out of your mouth. All you could do was lay down in total shock.

It happend so fast. Eddie crawled underneath the firetruck to get to Buck and dragged him to safety. They loaded him into the firetruck. Eddie helped you up from the ground, into the firetruck as well. With loud sirens the truck started to move. You couldn’t take your eyes off Buck. Eddie and another firefighter were working on stopping the bleeding. You couldn’t move. 

“Are you okay?” Buck asked Eddie. 

“Yes.”

“Y/n…”

“She’s okay. It’s not her blood. She’s in shock.”

Somehow you made it to the waiting room. You had no idea how you got there. You were wearing a different shirt, and Eddie was sitting in front of you. You could see his lips moving, but you didn’t hear anything. You just stared at him. 

“She was standing next to Buck?” Hen asked.

“Yes. That bullet could’ve hit her,” Eddie said as he was cleaning the blood off his sisters face. She was covered in the blood of her boyfriend. She hasn’t made a sound since the incident. She barely moved.

“But nobody else was shot?” Bobby asked. 

Eddie shook his head. 

“There has been another shooting. Another firefighter has been shot,” Athena said as she walked to the group of firefighters. 

“Are they targeting firefighters?” Chimney asked.

“Looks like it. I have to get out here. Keep me updated about Buck.” Athena kissed Bobby before walking away.

Eddie stood up and took a step away from you. “Hen, I’m worried about her,” he whispered. 

“The doctor checked her out, didn’t they?”

“Yeah, said she was okay, but she doesn’t look okay. She is as pale as a ghost. She hasn’t’t moved and hasn’t said anything. She didn’t even cry or scream or whatever. It’s just that blank stare.”

“She saw her boyfriend getting shot, Eddie. She is in shock. Her mind is probably moving miles per hour, processing what she witnessed.”

Eddie sighed. He sat next to you and wrapped his arm around you, letting you know that he was there. He pulled her closer. It took a few moments before you completely broke down. Load sobs filled the room. Eddie pulled you on his lap, just like he did when you were younger and you were upset. You hurried your face in his neck ad cried until there was nothing left. Eddie kept repeating that everything was going to be okay, his heart shattering because of the cries of his sister. 

After you cried, you fell asleep in Eddie his arms. You knew you were safe there. It took a while for the team to get some news about Buck. But finally they heard that he was okay and that he was going to be okay. You and Eddie where the only ones who could be able to see him for now. After Eddie woke you up, you went to see Buck. Eddie waited outside. Buck was hooked up to all kinds of machines. His right arm was in a sling. You stood frozen for a moment. When you met Bucks gaze, you could only whisper. “Can you move over? Only if it doesn’t hurt too much.”

He did what you asked without even saying anything. You kicked off your shoes and climbed into his bed, laying your head on his good shoulder. You grabbed his hand and the two of you just laid there in silence. You had no idea what to say. Your mind kept replaying what happened and it made you stick to your stomach every time. When you closed your eyes, it only got worse. 

“I’m glad you’re okay,” Buck whispered. 

“I’m glad you’re okay too,” your voice cracked. 

Buck placed a kiss on your forehead. “We are okay. I’m going to be just fine. The doctors fixed me up really nice.”

“You could’ve died.”

“We both could’ve. I’m just glad that bullet hit me, and not you.”

“Don’t say that.” Your voice was only a whisper.

“But it’s true. I’d rather be here, then watching you lay in this bed.”

“It’s just not fair. Why you? What did you do wrong?”

“None of this is fair, but we’re going to be okay Y/N. We’re going to be okay. Eddie is okay, you’re okay and I’m okay.”

Eddie… You looked at the window, but he wasn’t there anymore. “The entire team is here, Buck,” you tried to change the subject. 

“I can’t wait to see them.”

You sighed, snuggling closer to Buck. 

He placed another kiss on your forehead. “We’re okay.”

“We’re okay,” you repeated.

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[annemiek19]

Accident - Evan Buckley

You looked at the news in shock. You couldn’t believe what you were seeing. Buck was trapped under the firetruck. He was barley moving. Tears formed in your eyes as you saw a kid with a bomb strapped to his chest. Without a second thought, you rushed downstairs. You hurried out of the building and ran down the streets of LA. The accident wasn’t far from your apartment. Police stopped you, but you yelled for Athena. She turned around and signaled that they could let you through. She wrapped her arms around you. 

“Any word on Buck?” You asked, afraid of what the answer was going to be. 

“He’s alive, that’s all I know for now. But he will be in the best hands once they can get to him, okay? Hen and Chimney will get him out and to the hospital. Don’t you worry too much. Bobby…” she turned around for Bobby but he was no longer behind her. He was walking with his hands up in the air to the bomber. You could see that Bobby was talking, but you had no idea what they were saying. Minutes passed that felt like hours. Somehow Bobby managed to grab the bomber and that gave police the opportunity to grab him and drag him away. You saw the firefighters rushing towards Buck. 

“I have to go see him,” you said to Athena before running towards buck. 

“How are you doing Buck?” You heard Hen ask. 

“Kinda numb.” 

“Buck!” You yelled at him as you rushed towards him. Eddie stopped you from getting too close. 

“Let them work, okay? Give them some space.”

You looked up at Eddie with the tears in your eyes. “Tell me, and be honest, how is he doing?”

“The truck is crushing his leg, Y/N….”

“Y/N?” You heard Buck wimper. 

You escaped Eddies hold and got closer to Buck, but still giving Hen and Chimney enough space. “I’m here. They’re going to get you out, okay? You’re going to be okay.”

“I love you.”

“I love you. But this is not going to be goodbye. You’re going to be fine.”

Buck was looking at you, and you could see that it was getting harder for him to keep his eyes open. 

“We’re running out of time, cap,” you heard Chimney say to Bobby. 

“Alright. Let’s get this truck off him.”

More firefighters rushed over to lift the truck. You looked at Buck one more time, before doing the same thing. You stood next to Eddie, waiting for the signal to lift up the truck. 

“Lift!” Bobby yelled. 

With everything you had in you, you tried to get the truck off the ground. The scream that followed was one that would hunt you for some time. Buck cried and screamed out in pain. Teras rolled down your cheek. 

“It’s needs to go higher,” Hen said. 

“Again!” Bobby yelled. 

You lifted the truck again.

“Higher!” Hen yelled. 

This isn’t working. Whatever you were trying to do, it had no success. You looked at Eddie.

“It’ll be okay,” he whispered. 

“We need more hands,” Bobby said. 

Chimney grabbed the radio to ask dispatch for more persons, but he stopped. You looked at Chimney. He was frozen. You followed his gaze and saw bystanders running towards the truck. Every person that was watching was rushing over to the truck to help. 

With all the people that were now helping, you were able to lift the truck off Buck and he was able to get out. He cried in pain as they dragged him out. They put him on the gurney and you grabbed his hand. 

“Stay with me, Buck. Stay with me,” you said to him as you saw that he was closing his eyes. 

It had been hours of waiting in the hospital. Surgery took what felt like forever. Your body wanted to move, but all you could do was sit down and stare at the ground. There was no energy left in you.  You leaned against Eddie. He wrapped his arm around you. 

“I think Buck was glad to see you in that moment,” Eddie whispered. 

“I saw it on TV and I just… I couldn’t watch through a screen. It looked so bad, and I…” tears welled up in your eyes again. You tried to blink them away, but it was no success. 

“He’s going to be okay, Y/N. He’ll probably walk again. You know Buck. He is going to be okay.”

“I know, but in that moment it looked so bad. I thought…”

“I know.”

After waiting another while, you were able to see Buck. He was still asleep, but he was out of surgery and the doctor said that it went well. He would be able to walk again, that was the most important thing. You were holding Bucks hand, sitting next to his bed. 

“Y/N?”

You looked up and saw that Buck was awake. “Hey, how are you feeling?”

“Okay, I guess. You’re here.”

“I am. Everyone has been waiting for you to get out of surgery and wake up. It took a long time…”

Buck looked at his leg and then he looked back up at you. 

“The doctor said that it went well, and that you would be able to walk again.”

“What about work?”

“He didn’t say anything about that, but let’s take it one step at the time, okay? You’ve just been through a trauma, and now you need to heal.”

Buck was silent for a moment. 

“You were there…”

“I was. I… uhm… I saw it on the news, and I couldn’t stand there and watch. I had to be there in case…” you looked away from Buck. 

“In case of what, Y/N?”

“In case you didn’t make it.” Another tears rolled down your cheek, which you aggressively wiped away. You were so done with all the crying. 

Buck squeezed your hand. “I am here. And like you said, I am okay. You’re not losing me. Not today.”

“But what about all the other days?” More tears streamed down your cheek. “Seeing you lay there, it made me realize that any day you could end up like that. Any day there is a change that you won’t come back to me.”

“I know, and I know that is hard. But all of us are trying to make it home by the end of the shift. We all want to go home to our families.”

“It was just that today made me realize that it could be over at any moment. And I don’t want that. I want us to have forever together.”

Buck smiled. “You’re not the only one.”

You smiled through your tears. You stood up and gently kissed Buck. 

“I guess I’ll come by later,” you heard behind you. 

You turned around and saw Eddie standing in the doorway. 

“No, come in! You’ve been waiting long enough to see me,” Buck said. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------

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[annemiek19]

I got you - Jay Halstead

“Hey Y/N. It’s Kim. Are you on your way to Molly’s? We’re waiting for you. I’ll see you soon, I think.”

“Y/N, did you miss the invite? It’s Jay’s birthday party at Molly’s!”

“Y/N, it’s Kevin. Kim told Jay that you should be here already. He’s getting worried.”

“Hey babe, it’s me. They told me you would be here an hour ago. If you don’t call us in ten minutes, I will start looking for you.”

Will

Hey, did Y/N leave her shift?

Yes, about two hours ago! I’m almost on my way.

She’s not here, Will.

Did you call her?

Yes. Something is wrong. 

Find her. I’ll stay here in case she comes back here. 

Ok. Thanks. 

You just sat on the ground, feeling your phone buzzing in your pocket. You couldn’t respond. You couldn’t bring yourself to get it. The tears were streaming down your face. You’re still processing what just happened.

You were making your way to Molly’s to celebrate Jay’s birthday when you ran into two guys. You could smell the alcohol from a mile away. 

“What is a pretty lady like you doing on the street all by herself at this time of night?” One of them asked. 

You tried to ignore them and just continued walking. 

“Come on, babe. We’re not going to do anything.”

“We just want to have a conversation,” the other guy said. 

“No thanks,” you mumbled. 

“Ah, she can talk!” the guy said. 

“What are you doing on the street, sweetheart?” The other guy stood in front of you, blocking your way. 

“Should we pay her a lesson on how to listen?” The guy asked, who was now standing behind you. 

You felt the panic rise in your chest. You didn’t get afraid quickly, but now you were scared to death. You felt a hand on your shoulder before placing it on your throat. One of the guys pulled you against him while squeezing your throat.

“Now, I don’t like it when girls talk to me like that,” he whispered in your ear. It sends a chill down your spine, and not in a good way. You felt yourself paralyzed by fear. You wanted to talk back to him, but you were scared of what he would do to do. And it was also the fact that he had your hands on your throat, causing it to be harder to breathe for you. He squeezed your throat tighter. Leaving you gasping for air.

“Stop!” You choked out.

“Just know that I will take it further next time you talk to me like that.” He let you go and pushed you to the ground. You started coughing and gasping for air, getting as much in your lungs as possible.

It had been almost an hour ago, but you still couldn’t move. You were sitting by a tree, your back facing the road. You didn’t want to go home. You didn’t want your friends to see you like this. You didn’t want your boyfriend and your brother to get mad and go after him. You didn’t want them to see you broken like this. So you stayed by the tree, trying to calm down, but all you wanted was Jay’s arms around you. So after those hours, you stood up and slowly made your way to the bar. Everything around you was going by in a haze. You focused on the bar; that was the only place you needed to think of right now.

Once you walked into the bar, Kim was the first one to notice you. 

She noticed the look on your face like you were in shock or something. “Y/N?” She asked, which made almost everyone turn around. 

“Where have you been?” Jay asked softly, already reaching his hands out to you. You started to sob and wrapped your arms around his neck.

“It’s okay. It’s okay,” he said as he hugged you back. “Hey, hey, calm down. It’s okay. You’re okay. I’ve got you,” he said and rubbed your back. But you weren’t okay. You cried in his neck as you pulled him closer to you.

“We were just going to look for you,” he whispered as he held you close. The tears were still streaming down your face, but the sobbing stopped. He slowly pushed you off him so that he could look at you.

“What happened to your neck?” he said and pushed your hair away from your neck. You felt his thumb on the place where the guy had his hands.

“Y/N! Where the hell have you been?” You jumped from the sudden yelling and looked at your brother in fear.

“What the hell,” Kim mumbled. All your friends were now looking at you.

“Who the fuck did that to you!” Kelly yelled. You flinched away as he walked closer to you. He stopped right away. “I’m not going to hurt you, Y/N. Now tell me, who did that to my sister.”

“I don’t know,” you choked out and started to cry again. Jay pulled you into a hug again. “I don’t know,” you said again. 

Jay rubbed circles on your back. “It’s okay. I got you. You’re safe now.”

“Whoever did this, I’m going to kill him!” you heard your brother yell. 

“Kelly, calm down. You’re not helping her,” Gabbie said. 

The conversation continued, but it went all past you. You didn’t want to hear any of it. 

After some time, you fully calmed down, and so did Kelly, or at least he pretended he did. Jay was holding your hand, rubbing circles on your hand with his thumb. 

“Can you please tell us what happened?” He begged. You were sitting in the back with Gabbie, Kelly, Kim and Jay. They thought it was best to take you away from all the people.

“I was on my way here, and these two guys appeared. They started talking to me, but I just wanted to walk away. I wanted to come here. But they stopped me, and then one of them said they would teach me a lesson on how to listen, so he put… he put his hands around m... my throat a... and….” You just couldn’t say it. The tears welled up in your eyes again. 

“We got it,” Jay mumbled.

“I am going to kill them. Nobody touches my sister,” Kelly said in anger and stood up. 

“No, please, Kelly. Not today,” you begged your brother. 

“Fine. But I will get them another day.”

“We will find them, Y/N. I promise you that,” Kim said and put a hand on your knee. 

Jay planted a kiss on your head. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there,” he whispered. “But I promise you that we are going to find them.”

[annemiek19]

Bad feeling - Jay Halstead

Listen to 'Till it happens to you' by Lady Gaga while reading this.

You were waiting outside your apartment with Kelly, Natalie, Will and Matt. You were all waiting for jay. He was your boyfriend, and it wasn’t something for him to show up late when you had planned something with your friends.

“Are you sure he was on his way?” Natalie asked.

“Yes. He texted me.”

“He’ll probably be here any minute,” Will said.

You looked down the street. It was a one-way street, so he could only come in from one way. If anything happened underway, Jay would call or text. Now there was nothing. All sorts of scenarios ran through your head. You tried to stay calm, but you had a feeling that it wouldn’t go away until he was right in front of you.

You decided to call Adam. Maybe he got pulled into a case and forgot to call you.

“Y/N, to what do I owe the pleasure?” Adam asked when he picked up the phone.

“Did you get pulled into a case?”

“No. Why?”

“It’s nothing. Jay should’ve been here, and he’s not. It’s probably nothing.”

“Alright. Call me if he doesn’t turn up.”

“Will do. Thanks, Adam.” You sighed as you hung up.

“No case?” Will asked.

You shook your head.

“Maybe he’s at the district?” Kelly suggested.

You quickly called Trudy. “No. I haven’t seen detective chuckles. Everything okay?”

“Yep. We’re fine. Thanks, Trudy.”

You hung up the phone. You had a very bad feeling about this.

“Why don’t we split up? Y/N, we can follow his footsteps to the store. You three can just look around the city, I don’t know?” Kelly suggested.

“Let’s do it,” you said. “Call me if you find him,” you said to Natalie, Will and Matt.

You got in the car with Kelly and drove to the store. Nothing looked out of the ordinary.

Just when you were driving out of the parking lot, you spotted Jay’s car on the other side.

“There he is!” you yelled. You opened the door and sprinted away. When you got closer, you noticed that the car had crashed against a tree. You stopped a few feet away from him. You could see someone sitting in the car. There was no movement.

“Call Will,” Kelly yelled. “I’m on the phone with 911.”

You grabbed your phone out of your pocket and called Will.

“We found him,” you mumbled as he picked up.

“So you’re on your way?”

Tears welled up in your eyes. “No. It’s bad, Will. He… he crashed.”

Kelly rushed over to Jay. “Y/N, I need your help!”

“I have to go. I’ll send you the location.” You hung the phone and walked over to Kelly. He was sitting behind Jay, holding his head steady. “There is a wound on his right thigh. You need to put pressure on it,” Kelly instructed.

You put your hands on the wound. “I’m right here, Jay,” you mumbled.

A groan escaped his lips.

“Hold still, buddy. You were in an accident. An ambulance is on the way,” Kelly said.

“You’re going to be okay,” you said. “We got you.”

“Y/N, I loved you,” he whispered.

You looked at him. Tears were now streaming down your face.

“Don’t you dare to say it. Don’t you dare to say goodbye to me, Halstead. I love you too, but don’t you dare leave me.”

He weakly smiled at you.

You scanned his body for any more injuries. Most of the blood was coming from his thigh. There was a cut on his forehead, but it didn’t look that bad. As far as you could see, there were no other injuries.

“Jay, can you tell us what happened?” Kelly asked.

“It came out of nowhere, the car. Had to serve, and I hit the tree.”

“You’re going to be okay,” you said.

“I love you so much. “You’ve made my life better,” Jay said and slightly smiled.

You let one hand go and felt Jay’s pulse. His heartbeat felt irregular. Your moved your hands just below Kelly’s fingers and felt the same thing.

“Jay, talk to me. You have to stay awake,” you said as he got really quiet. His eyes slowly met yours. It didn’t feel like you were looking into your boyfriend’s eyes. This guy’s eyes lost his sparkle, the bright colour of it.

“I’m going to be fine,” Jay mumbled. “I remember… the first day I saw you.” He gasped for air.

“Okay, don’t talk. Just answer my questions, okay?”

“Okay.”

You slightly smiled through your tears at the first question that came up in your head.

“What was the first thing you thought when you kissed me for the first time?”

“I want to marry this girl.” More tears streamed down your face.

“What about our first date? What did you think of that?”

“I should... ask you.”

You were interrupted by Will, Natalie and Matt. “What’s the ETA on the ambulance?” Natalie asked, going into doctor mode right away.

“5 minutes. There is fucking construction everywhere,” Kelly said.

“Y/N, let me see that,” Will said, and you pulled your hands away.

“I love you…so much… you have… no idea,” Jay weakly said.

“I love you too. But you are going to be fine. Will and Natalie are here. You’re going to be fine. They got you.”

“Kiss me…”

You looked at Will.

“You’re not going to die,” you said as you looked back at Jay.

“Please, babe… kiss me.”

“Y/N, you have to step aside,” Natalie said, placing a hand on your shoulder.

Before you walked away, you gently placed a kiss on his cheek. When you pulled away, his eyes were closed.

“Jay?” He didn’t respond. “Jay?” you said again, now crying.

“Matt, get her out of here,” Natalie ordered.

Two strong arms dragged you away from the car. You struggled against them. “No! Let me go. Let me with him! Let me be with my boyfriend,” you yelled as hot tears streamed down your face. “Let me be with him,” This time, it sounded more like a whisper. First responders came from everyone. The firefighters got him out of the car in no time. They got him onto a stretcher and loaded him in the ambulance. You saw the mouth of one of the paramedics move, but it didn’t reach you. It was completely silent around you. The only thing you heard was buzzing in your ear. Will was getting in the ambulance while performing CPR on Jay. You were lifted up from the ground and put in a car.

You didn’t know how you got to the hospital. You sat in the waiting room with your friends and his brother. Natalie had cleaned your hands. Will sat on one side of you and held your hand. Kelly was sitting on the other side and was doing the same thing. You couldn’t move. You barely knew what was going on around you. You didn’t feel the hands of your friends on you. You were completely numb. Tears were still streaming down your face, but you couldn’t be bothered to wipe them away. What was the point in doing that? What even was the point in doing anything. Jay was dead. Your boyfriend died in your arms. You had a feeling. This morning when you came out of bed, it was already there. It was far away, but there was this feeling in your stomach that you couldn’t place. Jay left for work, and the whole day that feeling stayed with you.

“This morning I… I had a feeling,” you started. “The whole day I… I had a feeling that something… that something was wrong,” you cried.

Will pulled you closer. “It’s not your fault, Y/N.”

“I should’ve said something to him. I…”

“It’s not your fault, Y’/N. There was nothing you could’ve done to prevent this,’ you looked up as Sargent Voight stood in front of you.

“It was the case we are working on. We had a suspect, but not enough to bring him in. He was the one that came out of nowhere and let Jay swerve. We got him, and he is going away for a long time,” Voight said.

“I should’ve told him to stay home,” you mumbled.

“He wouldn’t have listened. That guy is too stubborn. We all know it,” Will mumbled.

“I could’ve….” You couldn’t talk anymore. Sobs were leaving your mouth, and you were crying into Will’s chest.

“Y/N, Will…” You looked up as you heard Connor.

“How is he doing?” you asked.

“In the ICU, but he’s okay. He’s conscious and asked for you, Y/N.”

“What were his injuries?” Will asked, but you didn’t listen. Jay was going to be okay.

You followed Connor to the room Jay was in.

There are a lot of wires on him, so don’t freak out when you see it. He also had a big bandage on his head.” You only nodded your head. He opened the door for you. You slowly walked in. You slowly made your way over to Jay. The only thing you heard was his heartbeat, and you have never been happier to be hearing that. You sat down on the edge of his bed, and you grabbed his hand.

“I told you that you were going to be okay,” you whispered and wiped away a few tears from your face. His eye slowly opened.

“Y/N,” he mumbled and lightly squeezed your hand.

“You’re okay. I love you so much.”

“Love you,” he mumbled before his eyes shut again. You just sat next to his bed while you listened to his heartbeat. He was going to be just fine.

[annemiek19]

Exhausted - Jay Halstead

To say you were exhausted was an understatement. In the last few days, you barely got any sleep. You had just wrapped up a case where you worked late nights and early mornings. Last night you worked overtime, and just as you were going to bed, another case came in. You had to return to the district, even though your bed was screaming your name. Luckily you rode with your boyfriend Jay so that you could close your eyes for a few minutes.

The first half of the night went pretty well. You were busy working on the case, so you had no time to think about how tired you were. But slowly, the letters on the computer started to dance in front of your eyes. You rubbed your eyes, but it had no use. Your blurry vision only got worse. You laid your head down on your arms on your desk. Closing your eyes for a few minutes wouldn’t hurt. You looked at Jay, who was busy typing something on the computer. Within minutes, you were deep asleep.

Slight snoring made Jay look over to you. Your face was facing him. Your eyes were closed, and the snoring came from you.

“Did she just…?” Adam asked as he walked over to you.

“She fell asleep,” Jay said with a grin. “But let her, even if it’s for an hour. She worked overtime last night, and before that, we worked on a case pretty much 24/7. She’s exhausted.”

“Look at pretty boy vowing for his girl,” Kevin smiled.

“Yes. We all have our days sometimes. I know when I found you lying on the bench in the locker room. You were passed out.”

“It’s a good thing Voight isn’t here,” Erin mumbled.

Jay looked at you. You looked so peaceful when you were asleep. He could look at you for hours and never get bored.

“Pretty boy is so in love,” Kevin chuckled.

“Oh, let him be, Kev,” Erin said and threw a wad of paper in his direction. Kevin caught it and threw it right back at Erin.

“Let’s work the case; otherwise, we could just go home, and all get some sleep,” Adam said. Everyone agreed.

For three hours, they worked hard on the case. When you woke up, Jay was looking at you.

“Morning,” he smiled.

Kevin also noticed you were awake. “Sleeping beauty is awake!”

You rubbed your eyes. “Did I really fall asleep?”

“For three hours. For three hours, we had to hear how you were cutting down a forest,” Adam said.

“Guys, you should’ve woken me up! We’re not here to sleep,” you said as you got up to get some coffee.

“Pretty boy over there wouldn’t let us. He felt sorry for you after you barely got any sleep in the last few days,” Kevin said.

You looked at Jay. “It’s sweet. But we’re still here to work a case.”

“I know. But you needed your sleep.”

You grabbed your empty cup from your desk and walked over to the break room to fill it.

Jay followed you. He closed the door behind him. “Are you mad at me?”

You turned around. “What? No. Not in the slightest. I just wished you woke me up. But that nap did me good, I have to admit that.”

Jay put his cup next to yours. You filled that as well. “Thank you,” you said and gave him a quick kiss.

“Don’t start making kids in there!” Kevin yelled.

Just to piss him off, Jay pulled you closer and kissed you longer.

“I thought we had to work on the case!” Erin yelled.

You smiled against Jay’s lips. “She is right,” you mumbled. You pulled back, grabbed your coffee and went back to work.

[annemiek19]

Death of a friend - Jay Halstead

You were in a good mood when you came home. You saw Jay’s jacket hanging on the coat rack. You were surprised he was home already. “Jay? I’m home,” you announced yourself as you walked into the apartment. He wasn’t in the living room or the kitchen. You put your bag down as you walked towards the bedroom. When you passed the bathroom, you could hear sobs coming from there. “Babe?” you knocked on the door before opening it. You found Jay sitting beside the sink with a letter in his hand. Tears streamed down his face. 

“Hey, what’s going on?” you asked him as you sat down next to him. 

Jay didn’t say anything. He gave you the letter and put his head on your shoulder. You started to read the letter. 

Dear Jay Halstead,

 I wanted to personally let you know how much we regret the loss of Greg Gerwitz from the 75th Ranger Regiment. The entire squadron joins me in sending our deepest sympathies during your period of bereavement.

We all share in your pain and sorry. We would like to pay our final respects to one of our best members. He will always be missed.

Tears streamed down your face. Greg was dead. Ever since you met him, he had felt like a brother to you. Thanks to him, you met Jay. The three of you looked out for each other. It wasn’t easy for you and Jay when Greg left to return to the Army. But it was what he wanted, what he needed. So you supported him. You expected him to come back home. You wanted him to go home. Some of his stuff was still in the back of your closet. Greg asked you to hold onto it. You did. Now it just felt weird having that in your closet. 

You cleared your throat. “Do you know how?” you managed to ask. 

“IED.”

You put the letter down next to you and leaned with your head against Jay’s. The room was filled with sobs, nothing more. You sat that for hours. None of you felt like moving. 

When Jay’s phone rang, he didn’t move. You picked up the phone when you saw it was Voight. 

“This is Y/N,” you quietly said. 

“I’m looking for Jay.”

“He’s not able to come to the phone,” you said. You cleared your throat again. “We just… It’s Greg, Mouse. He…” You just couldn’t say it. 

“I get it. Take the time you need.”

“Thank you.” You put the phone down and looked at Jay. He had fallen asleep against your shoulder. You wanted to move him to the bed, but it was probably best if you stayed where you were and let him sleep, knowing there wouldn’t be much of it in the coming days. 

After a few hours, Jay woke up, and the two of you moved to the bedroom. Jay snuggled up against you. 

“I still remember it like it was yesterday when Greg first introduced you. The first thing I noticed were your eyes. You had a sparkle in them that I hadn’t seen for a very long time,” Jay started to tell. 

“I did?”

“Yeah, you still do. It’s beautiful,” Jay mumbled. 

“You know you also have a sparkle in your eyes?”

Jay shook his head.

“You didn’t at first. I knew you were still struggling with adjusting to life after the Army, just like Greg. You picked it up faster than him. Slowly, the light came back into your eyes. I noticed the sparkle for the first time when I told you how much I loved you. I will never forget that look on your face.”

“I will never forget that moment and what happened after,” he chuckled. 

“Oh god, Greg was horrified,” you laughed. “He was just standing there and thought, what in the world is happening.”

“That will never not be funny,” Jay chuckled. 

Then it hit you that you could never laugh about with Greg anymore. Fresh new tears were streaming down your face again. “I miss him already,” you mumbled as Jay pulled you closer. 

“Me too…”

[annemiek19]

You have a nightmare - Jay Halstead x Connor Rhodes

Your own death never scared you. But the death of the people you loved? That was your worst fear. Having a boyfriend who worked as a detective, it was basically in the job description that he would get hurt. You were somewhat prepared for that. Your brother, on the other hand, not some much. He was doctor Connor Rhodes at Chicago Med. It should be a safe place. People get better there; they don’t get hurt. You were bringing lunch over when it happened.

“I know you forgot your lunch, so I brought it to you,” you smiled as you placed his lunch in front of him.

“My sweetest sister, always taking care of me,” he grinned. He grabbed the lunch and started eating.

“How has your day been so far?”

“Good. Saved some lives, nothing too fancy. You?”

“It’s good. I like having days off.”

“Nah, you’re just lazy.”

“No, I just enjoy not having any responsibilities for one day.”

Connor rolled his eyes but laughed. He got up to through the empty box away when it happened. “Get down!”

You immediately jump off your chair and let yourself fall to the ground. You heard four loud shots. You heard glass breaking. People were screaming. You looked up to see where your brother was. He was lying on the ground in a pool of blood.

“Connor!” you yelled and rushed over to him. You saw one wound where you put pressed on. You had no idea where all the blood was coming from. “Come on, stay with me,” you said to your brother.

He looked at you, but you could see the life slipping away from him.

“Don’t leave me, Connor. Come on, stay with me.” Tears rolled down your cheek. Lifeless eyes stared at you. You left out a heartbreaking cry, one that went through marrow and bone. Blood was spreading all around you. His blood was all over you. He was gone.

You jolted awake. You looked next to you and saw that your boyfriend, Jay, was still asleep. You quickly grabbed your phone from the nightstand and walked over to the living room, where you sat down in the corner next to the window. You looked out over the city as you were calling your brother. You had no idea if it was a nightmare or a memory. Ever since you were a little kid, you had these vivid nightmares that felt so real. Sometimes you would wake up screaming in pain because of what happened in your nightmare. It felt so real to you that it sometimes took hours to convince you that nothing was wrong. Once you got older and started living on your own, it was harder sometimes. You always called Connor because you knew he could help. If you were crying in pain, he would convince you it was not real. If it were so scary, he would make you feel safe. Right now, all you needed was to hear his voice. You needed him to tell you that he was still alive, that nothing happened. The phone rang, but nobody picked up.

“Come on,” you whispered.

“This is Connor Rhodes. I’m not able to answer the phone right now.”

You hung up. He didn’t pick up the phone. Did it happen? You tried to call him again, but there was no answer. Maybe you should go to med. They would know. You quickly put on your shoes and a coat and rushed down the street. It was one of the perks of living so close to the hospital.

You walked into the ER. April was the first one to notice you. You were still in your pyjamas, and you looked confused. “Y/N, are you okay?” she asked.

You looked up at her. “April, thank god. Is my brother here? Is Connor here?”

“No… Y/N, are you okay?”

“Where is he?”

April shook her shoulders. “It’s the middle of the night. Why are you looking for Connor?”

“I just… I need to talk to him. He isn’t picking up his phone, and he isn’t here.” The panic started. It could be that he was just at home asleep, but what you saw was so real that you were so confused. “Thanks anyways,” you mumbled before walking away.

You tried calling Connor again and again while walking to his apartment. It wasn’t that far, but it felt like you were walking for hours.

Finally, your phone rang, but it wasn’t Connor. Jay was calling you. You quickly picked up.

“Y/N, where the hell are you?” he asked as soon as you picked up the phone.

“I’m on my way to Connor’s place. Did I wake you up? I’m sorry. I’m okay. Go back to bed.”

“No, Y/N. April called me. She said you were standing in the ER in your pyjamas, and to her, it looked like you were on something. Did you have a nightmare again?”

“I don’t know. I just need to talk to Connor.”

“Are you outside right now?”

“Yeah, I’m almost at his place.”

“I’m coming to pick you up.”

“Okay.” You hung up the phone and walked up the steps to Connor’s door. You rang the bell, but nobody answered. What the hell? You rang the bell again, and at the same time, you were calling him.

After what felt like ages, the door finally opened. A sleepy Connor looked at you, confused. “Y/N, what the hell are you doing here? It’s the middle of the night.”

“Tell me that I’m awake, that you’re okay and that you are not dead.”

“What?”

You heard a car door closing behind you. You didn’t pay attention to it; it was probably Jay.

“I saw you getting shot. I pressed down on one wound, but I heard four shots. There was so much blood. You stared at me with your lifeless eyes. Tell me that it was a dream and that you are okay! I’m losing my mind!” you almost yelled at him.

It took a while for Connor to realize what was happening. You had another nightmare again.

“I’m okay,” Connor said. He stepped outside and pulled you into a hug. “Nothing has happened to me. You had a nightmare. We’re both okay.”

“Why didn’t you pick up your phone?” you mumbled in his chest.

“I didn’t hear it. Maybe the battery is dead.”

You sighed. That would explain a lot. “Sorry for waking you up.”

“No, don’t apologize. You can always wake me up, you know that. You should go home with Jay. Get some rest, and I’ll call you in the morning, okay?” He kissed you on the top of your head.

“Alright. You might have to deal with April as well. She thought I was on something when I showed up in the ER.”

Connor chuckles. “I’ll deal with April. Don’t worry about it. Now, go home. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” Connor stepped back inside.

You turned around and saw Jay leaning against the car.

“Thanks for picking her up,” Connor said to him.

“Anytime,” Jay replied.

You walked over to Jay and hopped in the car. The car ride home was silent.

Once you got home, you laid down in bed and snuggled up against Jay.

“You could’ve woken me up, you know,” Jay mumbled against the side of your head.

“I know. But you have been so busy, and you needed your sleep. I didn’t expect that I would go out of the house. The plan was just to call Connor, and I would go back to bed.”

“Still. You can always wake me up, whatever it is.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

Jay pressed a kiss on your cheek and started playing with your hair until you fell asleep.

[annemiek19]

Secret - Jay Halstead

You and Jay had been dating in secret for a while. Voight didn't want couples in the unit, so you decided not to tell anyone. Eventually, you would tell them, but right now, you needed to figure out for yourselves where it was going between the two of you. Keeping it a secret was fun most of the time. You two lived in your own world and just enjoyed each other. There was nobody else that had an opinion on it. But sometimes, it sucked keeping it a secret. You couldn't hold hands or kiss in public. Everybody knew you were close friends, but sometimes you wished you would just tell them. It also sucked when other people hit on you or Jay. It didn't happen a lot, but when it happened, it was always awkward. Even at work, it happened. You knew Adam had a thing for you, and you tried to give him some hints that you weren't interested, but Adam didn't seem to pick up on it.

After a shooting, you had to go to the hospital to get checked out. Jay, who was also your partner at work, took you to the ER, where the doctors checked you out.

Jay was waiting in the waiting room when Adam walked in.

"Has she ever asked about me?" Adam asked.

Jay rolled his eyes. He was so not in the mood to deal with him. His girlfriend was just shot. He didn't have the patience to deal with Adam. He didn't even ask if she was okay. "Yes, I believe her exact words were, 'what can I do to get him to leave me alone?" Jay looked at Adam.

"She didn't say that."

"Oh yes. You can ask her later. Right now, she can't have any visitors."

"Come on, Jay. Which room is she in?" Adam tried to walk past Jay, but he wasn't having any of it.

"I said no. She can't have visitors right now." Jay slowly pushed Adam back.

"What is your deal, man?"

"My deal? You didn't even ask if she was okay! She was shot, and all you care about if she asked about you? You better shut your mouth before I punch your teeth out."

"Jesus. Calm down. I know she's okay because I saw her walking away with you!"

"She got shot, Adam! Of course, she is not okay!"

"Guys, take it down a notch or take it outside. I don't want you fighting in my ER," Maggie became between the two boys.

"Maggie, is she okay? Can I see her?" Adam asked.

Before Maggie could answer, Jay answered the question for her. "No, you can't see her! Why can't you just take a fucking hint!" Jay yelled.

"I can't? Who are you to tell me that I can't see her?"

"Because she is my girlfriend!"

Adam fell silent as he looked at Jay. "Since when?"

"Almost four months. But you are too dumb to take a freaking hint. You keep hitting on my girl, and I'm done with it!"

"Jay, please. Calm down."

He immediately turned around when he heard your voice. "Shouldn't you be in bed?" Your arm was in a sling.

"No, the doctors cleared me. The bullet only scratched my arm. I should stay out of the field until the wound is healed. I could hear you yelling all the way in the back." You looked at Adam. "Yes, Jay is my boyfriend. I don't know why you were fighting about me, but that stops now. Go back to the district or home, whatever you want, Adam. I'm sorry for this guy's shitty behaviour. You didn't know. Now, shake hands, hug on it or whatever, but this is done. I want to go home." The boys did what you said; they shook hands and apologized, and then you and Jay went home.

"I guess the word is out now," Jay mumbled when you were driving home.

"Yeah. Voight is going to be pissed. We should've told him first."

"I know. It just got so angry that it slipped. I'm sorry."

"No need to apologize, Jay. I think it was time." You look at Jay. He was focusing on the road, but you could just look hours at him.

"Yeah, I agree.”

[annemiek19]

Heat wave - Jay Halstead

The city of Chicago was currently in the middle of a heat wave, and the AC in your apartment broke last night. You barely got any sleep, and now you were working a case.

“Why can’t these bastards just hold off for a few days? These aren’t circumstances to commit a felony,” you said while looking at the crime scene.

“I wish it was that way,” Kevin mumbled.

“What have we got?” Voight asked.

“White male around 40s. Three gunshots to the stomach, one in the head,” you said.

“Time of death?”

“Around 3 am last night. Someone from the neighbourhood heard gunshots, called it in, but didn’t see anything,” you informed Voight.

“Alright. Let’s head back to the district and see what we can find.”

You hopped in the car with Jay. The AC was fully on and cooling the vehicle. “I am going to sleep in here tonight,” you said as Jay drove away.

“Long night?”

“A hot night. The AC in my apartment broke. This is the coolest I have been ever since last night.”

“You should’ve come over.” Jay hands you a bottle of water, which you happily take a few sips off.

“Yeah, I should have. But I didn’t have any energy to get out of bed.”

Jay chuckled.

Once you returned to the district, it was just as hot inside as it was outside. “Sorry, guys. All of the ACS broke last night during a power outage. Nothing is useful,” Trudy said as you walked in.

“That’s just great,” you mumbled.

Jay opened the gate, and you followed him upstairs.

“I don’t get how people in Africa do this. I’m not made for this weather.”

“You say the same in the winter,” Jay laughed.

“Yes, because that’s too cold. I’m a spring kind of gal, or maybe the beginning of fall. I just want sun, not warm weather. No rain and no snow. That too much to ask?”

“Yes. Way too much.”

You walked to the coffee room, where you grabbed a cold water bottle from the fridge and held it against your skin. You just hoped it would be easy today.

It was not an easy day. It felt like it was getting hotter by the minute, and the suspect even had you chasing him down. You got him, but man, it felt like you were going to pass out any minute. You were standing in an alley in the shade, trying to collect yourself before walking back out.

“Hey, you okay? I saw you coming down here,” Jay said.

You looked at your boyfriend. “I was just in need of some shade. That fucker had me chase him in this heat,” you panted. You were still out of breath, which wasn’t normal for you.

Jay handed you a bottle of water, but you waved it away.

“I’m going to throw up if I drink anything.”

Jay looked at you with concern. “You sure you’re okay?”

“No,” you mumbled. Your ears started buzzing, and you knew what was coming next. You tried to reach out to Jay before you fell to the ground.

“Heat exhaustion,” Jay said to you. “You passed out due to heat exhaustion.”

Doctor Natalie Manning was also standing in the room. “We want to keep you here for a few hours until your stats go back up. Jay can stay. Just take it easy, and make sure that bottle of water is empty before we release you,” Natalie said.

You smiled at her as a thanks before she walked out.

Jay sat down next to the bed.

“I told you I wasn’t made for this weather.”

Jay rolled his eyes. “It’s not funny. You almost gave me a heart attack.”

“Sorry I scared you.”

“I’m just glad it’s nothing more serious.”

“You and me both.”

[annemiek19]

Attacked - Jay Halstead

“Why is Jay working overtime again?” Kim asked. The two of you were having dinner at her apartment.

“Money. He should be home in an hour or so.” You took a sip of your water. “But you and Adam, anything new happening there?”

Kim shook her head. “No. Maybe it’s for the best.”

Before you could answer, you got a text from Jay that he was on his way home already. You couldn’t help but smile.

“He is done, isn’t he?” Kim asked.

“Yeah. He is on his way home, so I should get going.”

“Sure. I’ll see you tomorrow at work!” You said your goodbyes, and you left the apartment.

You opened the door of your car and quickly texted Jay that you were on your way. You put your back on the passenger seat, but before you could get in the car, a sharp pain hit you on the side of your head. Gasping in pain, you fell to the ground. Someone pulled you back up and pulled you around. You fought back and pushed him off. You reached for your gun when they hit you right above your eye. Your vision got blurry as you sank to the ground again. They took that moment to take your gun and point it at you. They kicked you in the stomach. You searched for your car keys.

“You should’ve done me right when you had the chance.” Before they could do anything, your car alarm went off. They quickly ran away.

“Hey, people are trying to sleep!” You heard a man yell.

With the little strength you had left, you crawled to the back of your car, hoping that someone would see you.

“Honey, call 911,” that same voice said. You felt a hand against your shoulder. “are you okay?”

“He’s got my gun,” you mumbled. Black spots were covering your vision.

“What?”

“I’m a cop. He’s got my gun.”

“Call 911! There’s a cop! She’s dying! Hurry!” the man yelled, and that was the last thing you heard before you passed out.

“Maggie, what do we have?” Doctor Connor Rhodes asked when the gurney came into the E.R.

“We’re going to Trauma 2! P.D.’s in the house. Blunt force trauma to the head, initially unresponsive in the field. GCS is now at 10.” They wheeled you into Trauma 2. You saw the bright lights on the ceiling. You closed your eyes again. The people talking sounded like bees.

“Y/N, can you hear me? Y/N?” you heard Connor say. You didn’t respond. Your head was hurting too much.

“Someone get Doctor Halstead down here and call detective Jay Halstead. We have his fiancé.”

When Jay got the call, it felt like his world collapsed beneath him. He just texted with you. How could this happen?

“What’s going on, Halstead?” Trudy asked as she saw the colour on his face disappearing.

“It’s Y/N. She got attacked.”

“Go. I’ll call Voight!”

Jay nodded before he sprinted out of the building and drove to the hospital with the sirens on.

His brother Will was already waiting for him.

“Where is she? How is she doing?” Jay tried to run past Will, but he stopped him.

“She is in surgery with doctor Rhodes. I don’t know for how long. She got some damage to her head, but she is in the best hands, Jay. If anyone can help her, it’s Connor.”

Jay lowered himself on a chair. “I just texted her that I was coming home. Who would do this?”

“I don’t know. But I’ll know your team can figure that out,” Will said as he placed a hand on Jay’s shoulder.

“Jay? What happened?” Kim came rushing into the E.R.

“She got attacked. That’s all I know. She’s in surgery.”

Kim sat down next to him. “She left my apartment to go home. Her car was parked right in front. Was anything stolen?”

Jay shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know, Kim,” he mumbled.

Hours passed by before Jay finally got to see you. Voight had already talked to you. Nothing was stolen besides your gun. You didn’t see who it was.

Jay sat next to your bed, holding your hand.

“I’m fine,” you said as you saw the worried look on his face.

“You got hit in the head and kicked in the stomach. You’re not fine.”

“I feel fine,” you argued.

“Because they have you on the good stuff.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty good,” you smiled.

Jay rolled his eyes as he shook his head. “You had me worried.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I have no idea what happened. I texted you that I was coming home, put my bag in the car, and then they attacked me.” Then it came back that they said something to you. “The one who attacked me, I think it was a guy, he said something to me. He said: ‘You should’ve done me right when you had the chance.’ I have no idea what it means, but maybe it was someone I put away?”

“I’ll tell that to Voight. You should get some sleep.” Jay kissed your head before he walked out of the room.

The entire night, the whole police department was working on finding who hurt you. After a full night, they got the guy on a security camera running away. They had a clear shot of his face. It turned out to be some guy you arrested for assaulting an underage girl. He got out two days ago, and he went to find you so he could hurt you. He probably wanted to kill you, but you scared him off because of your car alarm.

“Ready to go home?” Jay asked.

You were trying to put your jacket on but couldn’t put your left arm in it. “If I could get this damn jacket on,” you mumbled in frustration.

“I got you,” Jay said as he helped put your jacket on.

“Thanks. Now let’s go home. I want to take a shower and cuddle.”

“We can do that.”

You pressed a quick kiss on his lips before you walked out of the hospital room. You were ready to forget this day and sleep everything off in your fiancé’s arms.