lilbitdepressed27

[lilbitdepressed27]

[lilbitdepressed27]

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How I look after reading angst as if it was me personally in that situation

[lilbitdepressed27]

Me trying to leave a comment on a fic I love but not knowing what to say

[lilbitdepressed27]

This is so good! The angst ugh 😩 I love it, patiently waiting if there’s a part two 🫡

too late

pairing: jenna ortega and reader

summary: in which, after weeks of hesitation, you finally decide to tell jenna the truth—only to realize she has plans of her own.

word count: 7.1k

warnings: sensitive topic - lung cancer

authors note: in honor of november being lung cancer awareness month.

It began with a cough.

Not the kind that comes and goes with a cold or allergies, but one that lingered—sharp, persistent, and out of place.

At first, you brushed it off, chalking it up to stress or the changing seasons. But days turned into weeks, and instead of fading, it seemed to grow heavier, like it was pulling something deep from your chest.

You'd ignored it longer than you should have, convincing yourself it was nothing.

Jenna had even teased you about it once or twice, her laughter light and dismissive as she handed you a bottle of water and told you to "take better care of yourself." You'd laughed along with her, but deep down, something about it unsettled you.

When the pain started—a dull ache beneath your ribs every time you took a deep breath—you knew you couldn't ignore it anymore.

That's when you made the call.

The appointment came and went in a blur.

The doctor had been kind but direct, asking questions you couldn't answer with certainty. How long had the symptoms persisted? Had you noticed anything else? Fatigue, weight loss? You'd nodded at some points, shook your head at others, feeling like each response was pulling you further into a place you didn't want to be.

"We'll run some tests," they'd said, their tone neutral, almost too neutral. "Just to be safe."

You'd left the office that day with a sinking feeling you couldn't quite explain, like a storm cloud had settled just over your shoulders. But even then, you told yourself it was nothing.

It had to be.

When the call came, days later, their voice was calm but edged with something you couldn't place.

The voice on the other end, professional but cautious, had asked if you could come in—today. It wasn't a suggestion; it was an urgency wrapped in sterile politeness, and that was when it hit you—that it wasn't nothing.

The drive to the clinic had felt like an eternity. The silence in the car had been unbearable, but every time you'd reached for the radio, your hand had fallen back into your lap. Music felt too loud, too intrusive, as if it would force you to acknowledge the knot in your stomach that had been tightening since the moment you hung up the phone.

The streets blurred past you, familiar landmarks losing their meaning. All you could focus on was the road ahead and the gnawing thought that something was wrong—something worse than you wanted to admit. Your hands had gripped the steering wheel so tightly your knuckles turned white, and at one point, you'd realized you were holding your breath without meaning to.

By the time you'd pulled into the clinic's parking lot, your chest ached—not just from the persistent cough but from the weight of your anxiety.

You'd sat there for a moment, staring at the sliding glass doors, wondering if you could just... drive away. Pretend the call never happened. Pretend nothing was wrong.

But then you'd thought of Jenna. Her face had flashed in your mind—her smile, the way she always seemed to know when something was bothering you, even when you tried to hide it. You couldn't hide this forever, and if you didn't walk in now, it would only get worse.

The waiting room had been quiet, save for the soft hum of a fish tank in the corner and the occasional murmur of voices. You'd checked in at the front desk, the receptionist's cheery smile making your stomach twist, and then found a seat near the window.

The minutes stretched on.

There had been an older man across from you, his hands trembling slightly as he flipped through a magazine he clearly wasn't reading. Beside him, a woman with a scarf tied around her head stared at the floor, her expression distant.

You couldn't stop wondering about their stories—what they were going through, what battles they were silently fighting. Compared to them, your cough and aches felt trivial, like you didn't belong in this space.

You'd convinced yourself, even as you sat there, that you were wasting everyone's time. That whatever was happening to you couldn't possibly be as bad as what these people were enduring.

Maybe it had been an overreaction to come at all, you thought, even though you knew deep down that wasn't true.

When your name was finally called, your heart jumped into your throat. You stood, legs feeling unsteady beneath you, and followed the nurse down a hallway that smelled faintly of disinfectant and something metallic.

She'd led you to a small room and asked you to wait for the doctor, her smile kind but fleeting, as if she knew what was coming.

The seconds ticked by in excruciating silence. Your eyes had scanned the walls, landing on a framed picture of a mountain range, a feeble attempt to make the space feel less clinical. It didn't work.

When the door opened, Dr. Patel had stepped in, clipboard in hand, his face calm but serious. He'd greeted you with a nod, his usual warmth muted, and gestured for you to sit.

You'd perched on the edge of the chair, your hands clenching and unclenching in your lap. Dr. Patel had sat across from you, his gaze steady but unreadable as he placed the clipboard on the desk.

"I wanted to go over the results of your tests," he'd begun, his voice measured, like he was trying to soften the blow before it landed.

He'd turned his computer screen toward you, the image of a scan glowing faintly against the dim light of the room. He'd pointed to an area on the scan, circling it with the cursor as he explained the findings.

The words he used were clinical, detached, but you caught enough to piece it together. Something about nodules, abnormalities, and how the mass in question hadn't been there before.

And then he'd said it. The word you'd been avoiding, the one that made everything crash down around you.

Cancer.

You'd felt like the air had been sucked out of the room. For a moment, you couldn't breathe, couldn't think.

The word echoed in your mind, bouncing around like it didn't belong there. You'd stared at the scan, your eyes unfocused, as Dr. Patel continued to explain the next steps—biopsies, treatments, consultations—but his voice had become background noise.

You hadn't cried, not then. You'd just nodded numbly, your hands gripping the arms of the chair so tightly you thought they might snap. Your chest had tightened, the ache you'd been ignoring now unbearable, but you'd forced yourself to stay still.

When the appointment ended, you'd walked out of the clinic in a daze. The world outside had felt too bright, too normal, like nothing had changed when everything had.

You'd sat in your car for what felt like hours, staring at the steering wheel as the weight of it all pressed down on you. And for the first time, you'd thought about what this meant—not just for you, but for Jenna.

How would you even begin to tell her? How could you?

She was the person you turned to when things felt too heavy, the one who always knew how to make everything seem a little less impossible. But this time... this time felt different.

You'd closed your eyes, leaning your head back against the seat, trying to imagine how the conversation would go. You could see her face so clearly in your mind, the way her brows would furrow, her lips parting as she searched for the right words.

You could almost hear her voice, the way it would waver as she asked, "What does this mean? What do we do?"

And that's where your mind stalled—because you didn't have the answers.

You didn't know what it meant, not really, and you definitely didn't know what to do. The idea of seeing that kind of fear in her eyes, of being the reason her world tilted off its axis, made your stomach twist.

Then there was her work. Jenna had always been busy, but lately, it felt like the world was pulling her in a million directions at once.

She'd been running from set to set, juggling interviews, photo shoots, and endless calls with her team. You'd seen how tired she was, how she tried to hide it behind a bright smile whenever she came home, but you could see the strain in her eyes.

How could you add this to her plate?

The thought hit you like a punch to the gut, the realization settling in with a kind of brutal clarity. If you told her, it wouldn't just be your burden anymore—it would become hers, too. And that wasn't fair. Not when she already had so much to carry.

You'd opened your eyes, staring at the dashboard, trying to convince yourself that waiting wasn't the same as hiding. It wasn't like you were lying to her, not really.

You just needed time to figure things out, to understand what this meant and what came next. Maybe once you had more information, once you knew what the treatment would look like or what the prognosis was, it would be easier to tell her.

Or maybe that was just an excuse.

The truth, the part you didn't want to admit even to yourself, was that you were scared. Not just of the diagnosis, but of what it would do to her.

Jenna was strong—stronger than anyone you'd ever met—but this felt like too much, even for her. You couldn't bear the thought of seeing her break under the weight of it, of watching her world shift because of something you couldn't control.

And then there was the selfish part of you, the part that didn't want to see the pity in her eyes. You didn't want her to look at you differently, to start treating you like you were fragile or broken. You didn't want this to define you, not yet, not in her eyes.

So you'd made the decision, sitting there in the stifling silence of your car. You wouldn't tell her—not now, at least. You'd keep this to yourself, at least until you knew more, until you could figure out how to explain it without falling apart.

It wasn't an easy decision. In fact, it felt like the hardest thing you'd ever done. But as you sat there, the weight of it all pressing down on your chest, it felt like the only choice you had.

You thought that, for now, you'd carry this alone.

But after a while, things felt different.

The days had turned into weeks, and with each passing one, the weight of the secret grew heavier. It wasn't just the diagnosis itself; it was the way it bled into every part of your life, a shadow you couldn't shake.

And Jenna—she'd started noticing.

It was small things at first, things that were easy to dismiss or laugh off.

You'd caught her watching you more closely when you coughed, her brow creasing ever so slightly. "Maybe you should get that checked out," she'd said once, the words half-teasing but laced with genuine concern. You'd waved her off with a smile, promising it was nothing, but the look in her eyes had lingered.

Then there were the nights when you'd felt too drained to do much of anything. Jenna had curled up beside you on the couch, her hand brushing against yours as she asked, "Are you feeling okay? You've seemed... tired lately."

You'd blamed it on work, on stress, on anything but the truth, and she'd let it go—though not without a small frown tugging at her lips.

The tipping point had come a few nights ago, when you'd caught her staring at you in the mirror.

You'd been brushing your teeth, the rhythmic sound filling the quiet bathroom, when you noticed her reflection watching yours. "You've lost weight," she'd said softly, her voice more curious than accusatory.

"I haven't noticed," you'd lied, avoiding her gaze.

She'd hesitated, her arms crossing over her chest as she leaned against the doorframe. "Maybe we should book a check-up or something," she'd suggested, her tone light but her eyes serious.

You'd shrugged it off again, changing the subject, but the way her gaze lingered on you made it clear she wasn't convinced.

And that's what finally pushed you to make the decision. You couldn't keep brushing her off, couldn't keep pretending everything was fine when it clearly wasn't.

She was already worried, even if she didn't fully realize it yet. And sooner or later, she was going to piece things together on her own.

So when she told you she finally had a night free—no calls, no meetings, no obligations—you decided it was time.

The two of you had been planning this date for weeks, trying to carve out time amidst the chaos of her schedule. It wasn't anything extravagant, just dinner at your favorite little spot downtown, but it felt significant in a way you couldn't quite explain.

You told yourself it was the right moment, that you couldn't keep putting this off. You didn't know where this illness would take you next or how much time you had before the symptoms became impossible to hide. The coughs were more frequent now, the fatigue harder to mask. It was only a matter of time before Jenna noticed something you couldn't explain away.

This wasn't how you'd wanted to tell her—not like this, over a quiet dinner on what should've been a happy night. But you didn't see another choice. You couldn't keep lying to her, and you couldn't bear the thought of her finding out some other way.

As you got ready for the evening, the weight of the decision settled over you, heavy but resolute. You weren't sure how you were going to say it or what words you'd use, but you knew it had to be now.

Tonight, you'd tell her.

You'd been rehearsing the words in your head all day, trying to prepare yourself for what felt impossible to say.

But now, sitting in the car, you couldn't ignore the way the air seemed heavier, weighed down by something you couldn't name, and Jenna—Jenna wasn't herself.

She'd been trying to act normal, you could tell. Humming along to the radio, her fingers drumming against the steering wheel like she always did, glancing over at you every so often with what you guessed was meant to be a reassuring smile.

But there was a tension in her movements, a stiffness that wasn't usually there.

It was subtle, barely noticeable if you weren't paying attention. But you were paying attention.

Her hands gripped the wheel a little tighter than usual, her knuckles pale against the leather.

Her gaze lingered too long on the road ahead, as if she was focusing on anything but you. The way she adjusted the air conditioning, even though it didn't need it, or fiddled with her bracelet, slipping it up and down her wrist—these weren't things Jenna usually did.

Your chest felt tight, and not from the illness.

Had she figured it out? Had she found something—a paper you'd forgotten to throw away, maybe, or a note scrawled hastily with an appointment reminder? You'd been so careful, but the thought that you'd slipped up sent a sharp pang of anxiety through you.

You replayed everything in your head, scanning for mistakes, for signs. She hadn't said anything outright, but that only made it worse. If she had found something, she wouldn't confront you about it—not Jenna. No, she'd let it fester, trying to give you space, trying not to pry. But that didn't mean she wouldn't act differently.

And she was acting differently.

Even the silence between you felt louder than it should have, thick and charged with something unspoken. You'd always been able to sit comfortably with her in quiet moments, sharing space without the need to fill it. But this wasn't that. This was an entirely different kind of silence, one that pressed down on you like a weight you couldn't shrug off.

Your mind raced, chasing every possible scenario. Maybe she'd pieced it together herself, noticed more than you thought. Jenna wasn't oblivious.

She'd seen you brush off dinner more often than not, heard the cough that hadn't gone away, seen how you'd flinched the other day when she wrapped her arms around your ribs from behind. She'd even asked, once or twice, if everything was okay.

"You're sure you're fine?" she'd said a few nights ago, her brows knitting together in concern as you forced down a glass of water to stop the coughing fit. You'd laughed, waved her off, told her you'd been pushing yourself too hard at work.

And maybe she'd believed you. Or maybe she hadn't.

The thought gnawed at you as you stared out the window, the glow of passing streetlights streaking across your vision.

You turned to look at her, and for a moment, she felt impossibly far away. She was still Jenna, your Jenna, but there was a distance now, something fragile and strange sitting between you. Her profile was calm, unreadable, her lips pressed into a line that wasn't quite a frown but wasn't a smile, either.

You tried to convince yourself that you were imagining things, that your own guilt and nerves were making you see something that wasn't there. But deep down, you couldn't shake the feeling.

When she finally pulled into the restaurant parking lot and shifted the car into park, she sat there for a moment, her hands still on the wheel.

"You okay?" she asked, her voice steady but quieter than usual.

"Yeah," you answered quickly, too quickly. "You?"

"Of course," she said, the words slipping out a fraction too fast.

Her smile came next, bright but brittle, like it might crack if you looked at it too closely. And as she turned away, unbuckling her seatbelt and reaching for her purse, you caught a glimpse of something in her eyes—hesitation, maybe, or something close to it.

You didn't know what it meant, but it lingered, heavy in your chest, as the two of you made your way inside.

The restaurant was warm and softly lit, the kind of place where the low hum of conversation mixed with the faint clink of silverware on plates. You'd picked it because it was one of your usual spots—familiar, comfortable, with memories stitched into every corner. But tonight, none of that comfort seemed to settle in.

You couldn't stop picturing how the night might unfold, how Jenna might react once you finally told her. Would she cry? Would she be mad—at you, at the world, at herself for not noticing sooner? Would she try to fix it, as if sheer determination could somehow erase what was already happening?

The thought of her being mad was the one that stuck, looping endlessly in your mind. Would she think you'd waited too long to tell her?

Or worse, would she be upset that you'd told her at all, that you'd burdened her with something so heavy when her life was already so full?

You could see it so clearly—her soft features hardening, her voice laced with frustration as she asked why you hadn't come to her sooner. Why you hadn't trusted her enough.

You swallowed hard, trying to keep your nerves from spiraling further out of control. But it didn't help that Jenna was acting off. You'd been together for two and a half years—long enough to notice when something wasn't right. And tonight, something definitely wasn't right.

She was trying, you'd give her that. She smiled when the waiter brought the menus, chatted with him about the specials like she always did, and even reached across the table to brush her fingers lightly over yours. But her smile didn't quite reach her eyes, and her touches felt more like a distraction than a comfort.

When the waiter came back to take your drink orders, she didn't hesitate. "A glass of the house red," she said, her voice steady, almost automatic.

You were about to do the same—it was your thing, after all. A little tradition you'd fallen into on dates like this. But the doctor's voice echoed in your mind: Avoid alcohol, caffeine, anything that might add strain. So instead, you said, "I'll just have a Diet Coke, please."

Jenna's head snapped up, her brows knitting together as she looked at you. "No wine?" she asked, her tone light but curious. "Since when do you skip wine?"

You scrambled for an excuse, heat rushing to your face as you waved it off. "Just... not feeling it tonight. Wanted something lighter."

Her eyes lingered on you for a moment, like she didn't quite believe you but wasn't going to press the issue. "Alright," she said, leaning back in her chair. But there was a flicker of something in her expression—confusion, maybe, or concern. You couldn't tell.

As she turned her attention back to the menu, you tried to steady your breathing, but your chest felt tight. You knew she noticed things, little things, even when you thought you'd been careful. And now you couldn't help but wonder if she was piecing them together in real time, one by one, until the truth clicked into place.

You looked down at your hands, twisting the napkin in your lap as the nerves swirled in your stomach.

You weren't sure how much longer you could keep this up—pretending everything was fine, acting like tonight was just another date. Because it wasn't. And you weren't sure how to tell her that without everything breaking apart.

And still, you couldn't shake the feeling that she already knew.

But you tried to keep the conversation going, forcing yourself to focus on Jenna and not on the crushing weight of your own nerves.

She talked about work, the projects she was excited for, the roles she'd recently turned down. You asked questions, nodded at all the right times, even laughed softly when she mentioned something funny one of her co-stars had done. But the way she was looking at you—it made it impossible to relax.

Her gaze was soft, too soft, like she was trying to protect you with just her eyes.

There was a sympathy there, gentle and unspoken, that only made your stomach churn harder. Did she already know? Had she pieced it all together? The thought gnawed at you, turning every word you said into an effort just to keep up the act.

By the time the food arrived, you were too nervous to eat. The plate in front of you looked like it belonged to someone else—steaming, perfectly plated, entirely untouched.

You picked at it, moving the food around your plate, but your appetite had vanished. Every nerve in your body was screaming, the weight of what you were about to say threatening to crush you.

You didn't understand why. You loved Jenna. You loved her more than you could ever put into words.

She was the reason you smiled when you didn't feel like it, the reason your laughter didn't sound hollow. She was the first person you thought about when you woke up and the last one before you fell asleep. She was your person.

And that's why you had to tell her.

You told yourself that over and over again. This wasn't just about you. Jenna deserved to know. If there was anyone you wanted to be the first to hear, it was her.

Not a friend, not a family member—Jenna. Because no matter how terrifying this was, no matter how much it hurt, she was the one who deserved to know the truth.

You tried to convince yourself that it didn't matter how she'd react, that you'd find a way to deal with whatever came next. Whether she stayed, whether she left, whether she cursed you out for not telling her sooner—it didn't matter.

This illness was a part of you now. There was no escaping it, no undoing it, no pretending it wasn't there. And if Jenna didn't want to stay, you'd have to accept that, too. But you couldn't let her find out some other way. You had to be the one to tell her, no matter how hard it was.

A little while into the dinner, you glanced up from your untouched plate, the words balanced precariously on the tip of your tongue. You were going to tell her. Right now.

But then you noticed Jenna again. She was fiddling with the edge of her napkin, her fingers smoothing and crumpling it over and over.

She hadn't touched her wine glass in minutes, though she'd ordered it with enthusiasm. And when she wasn't fidgeting with the napkin, she was twisting her bracelet up and down her wrist or tapping her nails lightly against the table.

Her nervousness was palpable, radiating off her in waves. And it made you pause.

She looked like she already knew. Like she was bracing herself for something—maybe for you to say it out loud. The realization only made your own nerves spike higher, your throat tightening as you tried to steady yourself.

What if she was waiting for this moment? What if she'd guessed and had been dreading it ever since? It was impossible to tell, but the thought made the words stick in your throat, suddenly too heavy to push out.

You took a shaky breath, gripping the edge of the table to ground yourself, but the question remained, lingering in your mind like a storm cloud: Did she already know.

The silence between you was thick and unyielding, like a barrier you couldn't push through. You stared at your untouched plate, willing yourself to speak, to just get it over with. Your heart hammered in your chest, each beat echoing in your ears, and you felt like you were teetering on the edge of something vast and terrifying.

Just say it, you told yourself. You've rehearsed this a hundred times. Just say it.

But the words didn't come.

Your throat felt dry, the air between you charged with everything unsaid. And then, in that fragile quiet, you finally opened your mouth, the beginnings of your confession trembling on your lips.

"I—"

You barely got the first sound out before Jenna interrupted you.

"I need to talk to you about something."

Her voice cut through the moment like a sharp blade, and your eyes snapped up to meet hers. She froze, realizing she'd interrupted, her brow furrowing in apology.

"Sorry," she said quickly, her hands lifting slightly as if to physically backpedal. "You go first."

The tension in her expression, the nervous energy radiating off her, should've made you more anxious. But instead, you felt a wave of relief so profound it nearly knocked the breath out of you.

You didn't want to say it.

You didn't want to tell her, to put it into words, to make it real. Because once you said it out loud, there'd be no going back.

The illness that had already seeped into every corner of your life, consuming your thoughts and your body, would become something undeniable. And it wasn't just your burden anymore—it would become hers, too.

So you nodded quickly, your voice barely above a whisper. "No, it's okay. You go."

Jenna hesitated, her eyes scanning yours as if to make sure you meant it. Then, with a small, almost imperceptible sigh, she shifted in her seat, her fingers tangling together in her lap.

You watched her, noticing for the first time how truly nervous she looked. Her hands moved constantly, fidgeting with the hem of her sleeve, twisting her bracelet, pressing her palms flat against her thighs.

For a fleeting moment, your mind latched onto something completely irrational: Was she going to propose?

The thought felt absurd, but it burrowed into your brain anyway. The way she was avoiding eye contact, the way her fingers clasped and unclasped like she was gripping something small—it all seemed so... deliberate. Like she was holding onto something important.

You could almost picture it: a velvet box, hidden in her jacket pocket, the hinge creaking as she opened it to reveal something glittering and perfect. Her nervousness would make sense then. Proposing was a big deal, a life-changing moment, and Jenna would want to get it exactly right.

It had to be that. Maybe it was wishful thinking, your mind scrambling for anything to distract you from your own nerves, but for a second, you almost let yourself believe it.

Then Jenna spoke, and it all came crashing down.

She didn't look at you right away. Her gaze dropped to her lap, where her hands were still fidgeting, and she swallowed hard before starting. "I've been thinking about this for a while," she said softly, her voice barely audible over the hum of the restaurant.

Your stomach dropped.

Her words were slow, halting, like she was trying to choose them carefully but wasn't quite sure how. She glanced up at you briefly, her eyes heavy with something you couldn't place—sympathy, maybe, or regret—before looking down again.

"It's just..." She paused, exhaling shakily. "With everything going on—with my career, and the projects, and traveling all the time... it's a lot. And I know it's not fair to you."

You didn't respond. You couldn't.

"I'm barely home," she continued, her voice trembling slightly. "And when I am, I'm... distracted. By work, by everything I have to do. I feel like I'm constantly being pulled in a million different directions, and no matter how hard I try, I can't... I can't give you the time or attention you deserve."

Her hands tightened in her lap, her knuckles pale against her skin. She looked up at you again, forcing herself to meet your gaze even though it clearly took effort.

"You've been so patient with me," she said, her voice thick with emotion. "So understanding, even when I didn't deserve it. And I hate that. I hate that I've let things get to this point, where I feel like I'm failing you."

She gulped, her Adam's apple bobbing as she struggled to steady herself. "I've been thinking about this for a long time," she repeated, almost as if she was trying to convince herself now.

The words hung heavy between you, suffocating in their weight.

"I just... I think it's for the best if we—if we break up."

The final words came out like a whisper, but they might as well have been a shout. They echoed in your head, over and over, until they drowned out everything else.

She was still looking at you, her expression raw and vulnerable, waiting for you to say something—anything. But you couldn't.

Because in that moment, it felt like the ground had opened up beneath you, pulling you into a freefall you couldn't escape.

For a moment, you couldn't even process what she'd said. It didn't feel real, couldn't feel real. The restaurant around you blurred into nothing—voices faded into static, the clinking of plates and glasses became a distant hum. All you could hear was the sound of her words echoing in your mind.

Break up.

You blinked, and suddenly your throat was tight, your chest heavy, and your vision stung with tears threatening to spill over. You tried to swallow, but it felt like there was a lump lodged in your throat, growing bigger with every second of silence that passed.

All you could manage was a quiet, broken, "Oh."

It was barely a sound, barely anything at all, but it carried everything. All the confusion, the hurt, the disbelief—it was packed into that one syllable that trembled out of you. And the moment it escaped, you felt like you were collapsing from the inside out.

Your hands trembled slightly as they rested on your lap, and you clenched them into fists to steady yourself.

But it didn't work. Your chest felt like it was caving in, your stomach churning violently as if you were going to be sick. You suddenly felt more ill than you'd ever felt before, like every bit of strength you had left was being drained out of you all at once.

You blinked again, and a tear slid down your cheek before you even realized you were crying.

Jenna didn't look away.

Her gaze stayed locked on you, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears, and that only made it worse. It made your chest tighten further, your throat burn hotter. Because why was she crying? Why was she crying?

If she thought this was the right thing to do, if she believed that breaking up was the solution, then why did she look like she was on the verge of breaking, too?

The thought stirred something sharp and bitter in your chest—something close to anger.

You didn't want to be angry, not at her. You loved her more than anything, more than yourself, more than anything you'd ever known in this world. But in that moment, it bubbled up anyway, unbidden and ugly.

How could she say this was for the best and look like she was about to cry? How could she sit there, tearing you apart with her words, and act like she felt guilty about it? Like she didn’t want to do this but was doing it anyway.

If she didn't want to do it, then why was she?

Your hands unclenched, trembling as you wiped hastily at your face, trying to erase the tears that kept coming. But it was no use. They kept falling, hot and relentless, leaving tracks down your cheeks that you couldn't hide, even if you tried.

"Okay," you whispered, though it wasn't okay. Nothing was okay. But you didn't have anything else to say. Your mind felt blank, empty except for the deafening echo of her words and the ache that spread through your chest like wildfire.

Your lips parted like you were about to say more, but nothing came out. There was so much you wanted to ask, to scream, to cry, but the weight of it all held you frozen. You could only sit there, staring at her through the blur of your tears, wondering how it had come to this.

Why now? Why like this? Why, after everything you'd been through together, was this the moment it all fell apart?

Your heart felt like it was breaking, splintering into a million pieces you didn't know how to put back together.

You stared at her, searching her face for something—anything—that might explain this, that might soften the blow. But all you saw was sadness and guilt and resolve. And that, more than anything, made you feel like you might throw up.

You didn't know how to respond—what could you say? Everything felt so wrong, so heavy, and all you could do was sit there, your throat too tight to speak, your heart too shattered to form words.

And Jenna, maybe out of nervousness or guilt—or both—began to ramble again. Her voice was softer now, tinged with a slight tremor, like she was trying to steady herself but couldn't quite manage it.

"I—I've just been thinking about this a lot," she said, her words spilling out in a way that didn't quite connect. "With... everything. My work, how busy it's been, and I don't know. I've been trying to figure it out, and it's like—like maybe it's just too much."

Her fingers fidgeted in her lap, twisting her rings and pressing into her palm as if she could ground herself that way.

Her gaze flicked up to you, then away, then back again. She looked like she was searching for something—understanding, forgiveness, anything—but couldn't seem to hold your eyes for more than a second at a time.

"It's not that I don't care," she added quickly, almost desperately, her words tripping over themselves. "You know I do. You know I care about you so much, and that's why—" She stopped mid-sentence, pressing her lips together hard, her brows furrowing like she didn't know how to finish the thought.

Her voice was uneven when she started again. "I just—everything's so complicated right now. With filming, with traveling, and—and I feel like..." Her words faltered again, and she let out a shaky breath, her shoulders sagging as if the weight of her own thoughts was too much.

Her sentences were fragmented, scattered, like she didn't fully know how to explain herself. It wasn't an argument, wasn't a definitive declaration—it was just... messy.

And that made it worse.

Because nothing she was saying felt concrete, nothing felt like a real reason. It was all just vague, unfinished thoughts that left you sitting there, trying to piece together what she actually meant. Trying to figure out if she even knew what she was saying.

Jenna swallowed hard, her throat bobbing as she glanced down at her lap again. "I don't know how else to say it," she murmured, almost to herself, her voice barely audible.

But that didn't make it any clearer.

All you could do was sit there, still frozen, still unable to speak, as she rambled on, her words tangling together in a way that felt more like she was trying to convince herself than explain anything to you.

And it felt like every word she said was chipping away at something inside you, leaving you raw and exposed and aching.

You couldn't even process the idea of why she was doing this, because she wasn't giving you a reason—she was just... saying things. Vague, messy things that didn't feel like they added up to anything but heartbreak.

"What were you going to say?" She asked, clearly getting the point of her rambling not helping anybody at the table. You felt your stomach twist violently. Her tone was soft, hesitant, like she was trying to patch the cracks she'd just shattered into existence, but it only made everything worse.

You stared at her, your heart thudding heavily in your chest. Was she serious? Did she really think she could just ask that now—after everything—and act like it hadn't happened? Like you weren't sitting here, choking on the weight of her words, trying to make sense of it all?

You couldn't believe it. And yet, part of you could. This was so her—to try and smooth it all over, to shove the pieces of normalcy back into place even when it was painfully obvious they didn't fit anymore. But you could see it in her face, in the way her lips trembled and her eyes flicked nervously over your expression. She knew it wasn't working. She knew this was ridiculous.

Still, you couldn't answer right away. Because, what could you even say?

What you were going to say—what you needed to say—wasn't something you could tell her now. Not after this. Not after she'd sat across from you and torn everything apart, leaving you to sit here, raw and exposed, trying to make sense of her fragmented reasoning.

You couldn't tell her. You couldn't tell her that you were sick. Because now it would look like a desperate attempt to make her stay, to guilt her into taking it all back. And that was the last thing you wanted.

No—more than that, it would make it real. Actually real. Saying the words out loud, to her of all people, in this moment, would make it something you couldn't take back. And you weren't ready for that. You weren't ready for any of it.

"It was nothing," you muttered, your voice flat and quiet, barely recognizable as your own. You stared at the table, refusing to meet her eyes, because the weight of her gaze was too much to bear. "Just... nothing important."

You hoped she'd leave it at that, though you could tell from the way her expression softened into something unbearably sympathetic that she didn't believe you. She was probably going to ask again, probably going to try to dig deeper, but you couldn't give her more. Not now. Not like this.

She didn't press you for more, but the silence that followed felt louder than anything she could have said. You didn't look at her, didn't dare, because you knew what you'd see—concern, confusion, maybe even guilt—and you couldn't take it. Not after everything.

You tried to focus on the table in front of you, the half-empty glass of soda that had gone warm, the plate of untouched food that suddenly felt miles away. But your mind wouldn't stop racing.

This wasn't how you'd imagined it. None of it.

All the words you'd rehearsed, the courage you'd spent all day building, the carefully planned moment—it was gone now, swept away like it had never existed. And no matter how much you wanted to, no matter how desperately you wished you could take it all back, it was too late.

Too late to say what you'd come here to say. Too late to stop what she'd said instead. Too late to fix whatever had been shattered between you tonight.

And now, you'd have to face it all alone.

The waiting rooms. The cold sterility of hospital walls. The appointments that stretched on longer than the days themselves. You'd prepared yourself for those things, or at least tried to, but you'd never prepared for doing it without her.

You couldn't blame her. You wouldn't. But that didn't make it hurt any less.

You swallowed hard, willing the tears to stay put, and reached for your glass, if only to give your hands something to do. The carbonation fizzed on your tongue, sharp and bitter, but you barely tasted it.

And as Jenna's gaze lingered on you, hesitant and uncertain, you told yourself the same thing you'd been trying to believe all night.

You would be fine. You had to be.

Because now, it was too late to say otherwise.

[lilbitdepressed27]

I’ve been stabbed with a dull knife 🙃

Those who shine brightest, often burn fastest

[lilbitdepressed27]

😭🔫

We gonna drown in blue🩵🩵

[lilbitdepressed27]

And then they ripped them apart, AGAIN 😭

ARCANE LEAGUE OF LEGENDS: 2x05 - “Blisters and Bedrock” ↳ "What are you waiting for? He's your dad too."

[lilbitdepressed27]

She was just a baby 😭

Jinx and Isha 😭😭😭

[lilbitdepressed27]

Alcina Dimitrescu/Fem!Reader

Summary: One where it's a zombie apocalypse you get separated from your wife and daughters.

Warnings: none I think

WC: 4.1k

Author's Note: probably gonna write more for the beautiful tall lady again. A little bit of The last of us in here. Sorry for any mistakes :)

"Draga come back to bed." Your wife mumbled sleepily as you leaned down to kiss her on the head.

"Sorry baby. My sergeant called said it's an emergency. Something about a riot downtown. They need all hands on deck." At the mention of you being in potential danger your wife was wide awake. She sat up, seeing that you were already dressed up and ready to go in your police officer uniform. You had a apologetic smile as you looked down at her. It was supposed to be your day off. But in a situation like this. Every officer was called in.

"Be careful. Please call me when you get a chance. Even if it's a simple text." You could see the worry in her eyes.

"Of course I will. I love you and I'll be back before you know it. It's probably some of those dumb 'alpha males' at it again." You joked and leaned down kissing her on the lips.

"I love you too." She had gotten up to walk you out. Her sleep long forgotten. You had gently kissed your daughters on the head as they slept before leaving.

Alcina had watched you drive off with a knot in her throat. She had always hated when you were called away like this. She knew it was serious. If it weren't you wouldn't have been called. She had always worried about you when it came to your job.

She worked as a lawyer. She knew you didn't have to worry as much as she did. Did you worry? Of course you did. But just not on Alcina's level.

She walked back into the house after your truck was no longer in her eye sight.

*

"On news 10 today the riots have been growing down in the Los Angeles area. Riots have grown in other cities as well. San Francisco, San Diego, New York City, Chicago, Phoenix AZ, Philadelphia, Dallas TX, San Jose CA, Sacramento CA, Miami FL. We have not figured out the reason behind these riots but the state of California and local authorities are strongly advising to stay in your homes for your own safety, if you live in these areas."

Alcina had just turned on the tv after she had taken a shower seeing that it was no point trying to go back to sleep.

"Mom where's mama?" At the sound of her youngest daughter entering the living room she looked away from the tv to the red head. The ten year old was rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"She was called into work sweetheart. Come here."

Daniela flopped on to her mother, cuddling up to the taller woman.

"But I thought it was her day off?"

"I know sweetie but there was something her sergeant had to talk to her about." Alcina held her daughter close to her as she looked back to the news reporter.

"We are going live to the riots in downtown Los Angeles with Maria Ascott. To you Maria."

"Thank you Jill. The riots here have made a turn for the worst. We had to get off the streets due to how violent the people were getting. LAPD have stopped using rubber bullets and gone straight to lethal force. Thing is that some of the people have become completely vicious. They are biting officers and even other people in the crowd. I can't believe what I'm seeing. They just won't stay dow-" The camera had turned at a loud explosion and more shooting.

"Mom? Is mama okay?"

Alcina wanted to be honest but she didn't know. Before she could make a move to call you. Her phone rang, a picture of you smiling at the camera lit up the phone. She quickly picked up the phone not even letting the phone ring for a second time.

"Draga are you okay?" She stood up from the couch, her concern growing as she heard the shouts and shooting from your side of the phone. She had put the phone on speaker phone when Daniela motioned her to put it on.

"Yes I'm fine Alci. I need you listen to me. Get the girls and the guns from my safe. Pack what ever we could need. Be quick. We need to get out of the city. Now. There's no time to explain. Get the girls. Now Alcina. I'll be there in about fifteen minutes." The line cut off before Alcina could respond.

"Daniela get you sisters and tell them to pack what ever we could need. Now darling."

They both moved quick around the house. Packing a bag of clothes with toiletries. Bela and Cassandra didn't know what was going on but did as what their mother said. Seeing how serious her mother and younger sister were being.

Alcina moved quickly packing her own bag and yours. With anything they'd need. She moved to pack a big duffel bag from your gun safe. You always had been one to have guns. It was something Alcina had hated cause of the kids but you had put them in a safe. Where only you and herself could access them. From hand guns to rifles and shotguns. She didn't know what to pack. But from what she saw on the news. She new it was serious. So she packed as much as she could with ammunition and guns. Leaving the gun safe empty.

"Babe!? Girls!?"

"Draga.." Alcina words got stuck in her mouth when she saw you uniform torn and and with blood. She cupped your cheeks as she looked you over.

"I'm okay but we have to go. We'll go to the family cabin. It's secluded enough. Donna and Angie are on their way there. Karl is there already with your mother and brother. Come on."

"Mama what's going on." Bela asked once Cassandra and herself put all their bags in the Escalade.

"I'll explain everything on the way to our cabin. Come on."

The family moved rapidly, leaving their home. Not knowing that It'd be last time they saw it as a whole.

*

You were one to always follow the rules. Seeing as you were a cop after all. You took pride in doing what you did. Putting bad guys behind bars. Helping your wife and her law firm putting bad people bad guys away for a long time. But you were also used to speeding down the streets. Running stop lights and stop signs. What you were not used to was having your family in the same car as you did those things. You knew the risks of driving fast down the roads. Anything could happen. But you knew. You knew that you had to get your family out of the city. After seeing the things you saw. It wasn't safe. You weren't even sure if the cabin was safe.

"Y/n tell me what's going on. Is this cause of that sickness going around?" Your wife spoke for the first time since getting in the car. She had been too distracted by the chaos happening outside of the vehicle.

"It's not just a sickness. Sergeant had a friend in the cdc, it's some type of virus, the scientist used the word fungus. A fungus that only effected ants-Cordyceps we learned about in school. You gotta be joking? How come it wasn't on the news?" Your daughter Cassandra spoke from the middle seat.

"The cdc tried to control it in Seattle. The government had locked down Seattle in a matter of minutes when the first signs of infection were shown in Seattle's Lake Hill hospital. It spread faster than they had hoped. Before they knew it had spread all through out Seattle. They couldn't contain it. They still don't know how it spread all through out the United States." You swerved out of the way of the two collided cars. Using the sidewalk to escape the lines of cars. Refusing to take your eyes off the road. You knew there were going to be road blocks put by the military. It was why you chose the back roads. The cabin was a good two days away. But with this amount of traffic it would probably take longer.

You thanked everything in you for getting the four wheel drive and for not living too in the city. So going off road was the best option you had.

"Mom?"

"We can't be seen by the military. Their orders are shoot to kill." It was why you hoping to avoid the road blocks and roads in general.

*

You were only a good day away from the cabin. It had been in the middle of the night the dirt road empty when a trucks lights suddenly turned on, catching you by surprise and blinding you momentarily. You had no time to react, the truck rammed into your side of the car pushing the truck forcefully towards the ledge. The force had caused you to hit the side of your head against the window. The screams of your girls had been muffled as the truck tipped and rolled down the slope.

Your ears ringed as you checked on alcina and the girls. The voices stilled muffled as you tried to ignore the pain of your side. You had to gather yourself and get your family away from who ever was driving that truck.

"Alcina come on get up. Girls?"

"We're okay mama."

"Mama you're bleeding." Cassandra's voice filled with concern, finally sounded clear.

"I'm okay baby. We go get out of the truck. Use the truck as cover. Do not peak from the sides. Bela get my gun bag, Dani baby get the bag with the med-kits and supplies we could need." You gently shook Alcina. Desperately trying to wake her up. The sound of her gasp, was only a moment of relief as you head a distant noise of shouting.

"Come on baby, are you okay?" You used your knife to cut her seat belt catching her before she could hit the ground.

"Oh draga, you're bleeding. Are the girls okay?"

"They're fine. Come on we have to go." You helped your family out of the vehicle, noticing the gas leaking from the tank. The sounds of shouting we're getting closer. You checked over Alcina seeing that she was okay other than scratches on her.

"Alcina listen to me. I'll draw them away from-No. We have to stick together." Alcina was quick to shut down the idea. But she saw the look in your eyes. Her eyes filled with tears as she heard the sounds of voices only getting closer.

You sighed, taking the gun you had trained her with. Making sure it was loaded. The girls had trained with you as well, they knew how to handle a gun. They knew gun safety. You handed the gun to Alcina. "You have to go, keep our girls safe. I'll see you soon. There's no time for arguments. You know as much as I do those people aren't going to think twice when they see us. I'll lead them away from you and our girls. And catch to you when it's safe. Now go."

The girls protested as well. But Alcina knew you were right. With tears in her eyes she took a step back as you pushed her towards the opposite direction. "Y/n."

"Do not stop till you get to the cabin. Do not hesitate when you pull that trigger." Your voice was strong but yet she heard how it wobbled. You kissed the girls head.

"Go, now."

As the shots you fired had the men stumbling for cover as your family disappeared into the dark woods. You stepped away from the truck as far as you could as the men grew closer shooting their own guns in your direction. Completely missing the four getting away. As they grew closer you shot your gun in the direction of the gas leaking the force of the explosion throwing you back against the tree. Rendering you unconscious.

*

(20 Years Later)

Alcina looked back at the little town. The walls they've built were slowly spreading. Slowly growing, all the town needed know was some electricity if they could ever get the damn power plant to work again. As she looked back down at the planes she had scattered in front of her, her wondered. After all these years her mind went back to that day.

How much she regretted leaving you. How her heart screamed at her to go back when she heard the explosion. But she pushed on. With the hope that you would be right behind them.

Her hopes had come crashing down when the day passed and they arrived at the cabin. Her family was there but you had not arrived. The girls cried as they waited for you but you never came. The day passed and she went back. Karl going with her. The burned bodies were fresh there had been a few a total of six. All too burned to be recognizable. But then she saw the gun. Your hand gun she knew it was yours. She picked up the gun seeing the familiar serial numbers. The gun was not far from the burnt body.

"Mom, we have some scouters out west saying something about a storm coming. We have to reinforce the wall on the west side just in case some infected wonder from the west." The voice of her eldest daughter brought her back to the present.

"It's already in order Bela. Have you had any updates on your sister?" Her eldest had grown into a being a strong and smart woman.

"Yes, Daniella and uncle Karl are making sure that the men working on the power plant are protected from the raiders and infected." Bela stood straight paying close attention to her mother. Ever since that day she knew her mother had not been the same. She her mother had tried to be strong for her and her sisters. But she saw the sadness in her mother. The sadness that refused to leave. She herself longed to see her mama again but it had been ten years now.

You were gone.

Died trying to keep them safe.

*

After all these years, you still looked for your family. The anger you had for yourself had been so immense. You remember that day like it had been yesterday. The errors of it all keeping you up at night. After you knocked out that day. You had woken up in cell room along with some others. It clearly didn't take long for humanity to fall. Those men weren't military just a gang looking for victims.

It had taken you and few others too long to break out of that camp. By the time you did it had been two months since you last saw your family. You remember the urgency to get to the cabin. It had taken you two days to get the cabin seeing that the FEDRA was only growing. You had to sneak, not risking being seen and shot.

Nothing could have prepared you for what you saw once you did arrive at the cabin.

The cabin empty, destroyed half of the cabin had clearly caught fire. No signs of life, you had almost given up then and there. If it weren't for the fact that Karl's over the top survival truck was missing. It was a truck that he had always kept on the property grounds. He had been a clear lunatic when it came to preparing for the apocalypse.

That truck was set to only function on one set of keys. No hot wiring or anything could start that truck.

But that had been ten years ago. Ten years of searching for your family. You didn't know where to look. They could be dead for all you know, but knowing Karl, he always had a plan for this type of things. You just hoped that he kept your family safe.

"Y/n? You okay?"

Your attention was brought back to the kid standing next to you. You weren't sure where the two of you were headed. You had found this kid roaming not far from the outside of the walls. And well you had finally gotten the chance to sneak out of the said walls controlled by FEDRA. From there you just took her under your wing. Refusing to leave a fourteen year old to wonder by herself. Especially since the fourteen year old reminded you so much of your youngest.

You had an idea on where to go, a rumor of a town that was safe and secure. There were a few places you could check out.

"Yeah I'm okay kiddo, come on Wyoming isn't that far." You had been on the road for a year now, you had to find a safe place, winter had just passed and it was a strong and cold one. It had been brutal, the injury on your side still ached. But what ached more was what Ellie went through. Those crazy fucking cannibals and that fucking pe-You felt guilty for getting hurt, for making the young girl take on the burden of having to take care of you.

"Can you tell me about your family, what were they like?"

You couldn't help the smile and slight relief that she was talking again. "Oh just know you'd get along with my daughters. Cassandra my middle child she's just as much of a smart ass as you. My youngest Dani god, she's just as much of a jokester. And eldest Bela, well she's much more like her mother. Smart, patient, kind, she was- she'e twenty know. All of them twenty." You were quick to wipe the tear away.

"Alcina my wife, well I met her when we were both in elementary school. Man I fell in love with her the moment she walked into Ms.Luthor's second grade glass. Although I didn't know what I felt in that moment. I was her first friend and we stuck together like glue from then on. We didn't start dating till junior year. Want to see a picture?"

The excitement in those green eyes was hard to miss. You dug into your backpack taking out the journal that had a ziploc bag. Inside the bag was a picture of your family.

"Damn, that's your wife and kids, man they got all their looks from your wife huh." Ellie joked a snort and gentle shove was what she got in return.

The laugh escaping your lips, she had a point. "Shut up, now how about we cut through that power plant. It looks abandoned." Ellie laughed as she followed you down the path way that was now covered with over grown grass.

Ellie asked after a moment of silence as you both moved across the river leading to the power plant. "Do you really think that we'll find a place to call home?"

"I have hope. Just gotta believe kiddo. Let's go through here." You moved to pull on the large door, for it now to move. You pulled harder on it until you heard a familiar click. Reaching quickly for your side gun.

"Stop! Tell the girl to drop it as well."

At the sound of a deep voice you looked up to see quite a few guns pointing down at you and Ellie.

You stepped back knowing you had no other choice. "Ellie do as the lady says." Moving a bit closer to stand in front of Ellie, your hands still raised up. Hoping that they wouldn't shoot you. "We didn't know the place was occupied. We're just trying to get through, we want no trouble."

It was a tense moment of silence.

"They're alright."

"You know them?"

The sound of the big door sliding open. "I know her. She's my god damn sister in law."

The gate opened, and your eyes widen at the sight of Daniella and Karl. But your eyes couldn't tear themselves from your youngest daughter who was now a grown woman. Her baby features long gone.

"Mama?" Her voice was the same but yet so different.

"Dani."

The force of her hug had almost taken you down. Her cry as she hugged you tightly, you hugged her just as tightly. You couldn't believe that Daniela, your youngest daughter was back in your arms. After so many years of thinking that you'd never see her again had finally come to an end.

"Mama we thought you were dead. We went back. Mom went back to check with uncle Karl. We should have never left you mama. I'm so sorry. We looked for you, everywhere. We never stopped. I'm sorry—Daniela stop. It's not your fault. It's no one's fault. Just—" the sound of gunshots cut you off, your actions were quick. A whole lot faster than Daniela had been prepared for. You had taken her and Ellie to cover. Your own gun out and already shooting.

"Mama I can help."

You knew she could, you had taken her to cover without really realizing. "Sorry Dani force of habit. Ellie stay down okay kiddo."

The place lit up with more gun fire, all you could think about was keeping your girls safe and the need to see your two eldest and wife again.

*

"Mom raiders attacked the power plant again. There's some dead and a few injured. Uncle Karl and Dani radioed in, they're fine. Heading back as we speak." Cassandra spoke so fast Alcina didn't even have a second to panic. She was quick to get on her feet. Heading straight towards the gate. Cassandra and Bela right behind her.

By the time they made it to the gate, the gates were opening and in came in some of the power plant workers. Some caring the injured and others limping into the town. Her eyes searched the group looking for her idiot brother and her daughter.

Fear gripping her heart when she didn't see her youngest daughter at the end of the final people coming in.

"We would have been dead if it weren't for that woman."

"Oh man she was a one shot kill. Don't want to get on her bad side."

"She seemed to know Daniela and Karl."

She over heard some of the power plant workers say as they walked by. It wasn't till she saw Karl walk through the gate talking with a short auburn haired girl. Her hands were moving all over the place as she explained something. Karl for once had a gentle smile on his face as he listened. Relief washed over her body when she saw her little girl, her steps faltering when her eyes landed on who was standing next to Daniela.

You.

Her wife.

The wife she had thought she lost.

The wife she mourned to this day.

Was alive. Obviously looking a bit older but yet still as beautiful as the last time she saw you.

"Mama?!" The two older sister yelled in surprise, but their voice wobbling as they chocked back a sob. Her two eldest daughters ran towards their other mother who looked at them with so much love and guilt. Yet you hugged them tightly. Her eyes finding yours was what finally got her legs moving in such a pace that she couldn't remember doing. The feeling she had in her chest at seeing you once again. The love she had for you had never faltered. It never went away. If anything the love she had for her wife had only grown. There was no one she loved as deeply as you.

"Draga,"

It was the voice that you had dreamed of hearing. Your girls, your grown daughters pulled away. Watery smiles as they watched their parents reunite.

Hugging the slightly taller woman. To have her back in your arms as her shoulders shook from the barely concealed sobs. To have her hugging you just as tightly. She lightly pulled away cupping your cheeks in her hands. "Oh my love—"

The kiss had been one they both thought they'd never have. For it was the thought they both had feared and refused to accept. But now they both flourished to be in each other's again. To have their family reunited once again. To have the love they both shared still growing.

To be together once again as the apocalypse continued.

:)

[lilbitdepressed27]

Tara Carpenter/Fem!Reader All of Us Are Dead AU

Warnings: death angst blood

WC: 8.9k

Author's Note: no one asked, but I did it anyway. Sorry for any mistakes. Hope you guys enjoy, it's kinda long :)

"Oh come on!"

"Ah ha, I thought you said it was easy?"

"Ugh get off me."

You laughed at your best friend as you got off him and helped him up. You were on the football team along with your best friends and some of your other friends. You were the quarterback and a pretty damn good one for the university. It was your first year playing and you had already made such a great start, you started off as a sub. But when the starting quarterback started getting cocky and just being a jackass during the second game of the season. He was benched. And then you were sent in and since then Frankie had been benched. And he was not happy about it.

"Damn you move fast. You sure you wanna stay as a quarterback cause you'd be great on the defensive line." Chad said as smoothed out his sore bottom.

"It only helps when the quarterback doesn't know what he's doing." You nudged him with a smile on your face. "Now come on. Practice is over and we have to get cleaned up before we're late for class."

*

You and Chad had made your own way to the cafeteria where all your friends were at to get breakfast.

"Hey did you hear about the professors kid. You know the science professor." Chad said fixing his tie on his uniform.

"Huh? Oh yea. Apparently he committed suicide. Poor kid." You have seen the kid in question around. How he mostly kept to him self. Never bothering anyone. But there was always a group of boys who tormented the kid. You and Chad tried to put a stop to it. But it never worked.

"Don't even think that this is your or our fault Y/n. I mean, we did what we could. There's only so much someone can do. At the end of the day the person being bullied has to stand up for themselves. Cause if they don't, they become the easy target." Chad patted your back bringing you into a side hug. He knew how much you cared about people. He knew you since you two were in diapers. You had always had the protective mama bear in you. He and all your friends had always teased you about it.

Both of you arrived in the cafeteria seeing your group of friends sitting at the table in the corner. Your frown turned into a smile as soon you saw the small brunette. Tara Carpenter. You had met Tara when you were in middle school and have been in love ever since.

"Come on. I'm hungry you can ogle at Tara from up close." He teased pushing your towards the line. Seeing as breakfast hour was almost over there was hardly anything good. You would usually grab a fruit cup, apple and a protein bar with some apple juice on the side. "Damn. There's no more pop tarts."

You grabbed the last protein bar before Chad could get it and laughed when he was stuck with a banana.

"Whatever come on."

Tara looked up from her work, seeing you walking towards her. Her face brighten, her hand reaching for you as you grew closer, your much larger hand covered hers. It was a feeling Tara loved. How warm your hands were. They were always so warm, even in the winter.

"Hey. I got you your fruit cup and an apple." She handed you the food as you sat down next to her. Her heart racing as you directed a smile towards her. She knew that smile. The smile reserved only for her. Her face warming when you leaned into her and lightly kissed her cheek.

"Thanks Tar."

"You're welcome." She leaned into your side, embracing your warmth.

"Hey did anyone hear that the girl from home room went missing." Amber spoke from across the table.

"Which one Amber. There's like-"

Tara tuned out the conversation. Her focus was on you. How you silently ate your food but yet still paid attention to everyone else. How your hand stayed in hers. Your thumb softly creasing the back of her hand. She's never felt this deep about someone. The deep affection for you was something that scared her. It terrified her so much but yet she loved the feeling.

She loved you.

*

You had been trying to focus for a while now. But three classes already had you feeling so sleepy. It was just one more class before the lunch hour began. In this class you didn't share it with any of your friends. So you were alone.

You heard rumors about the girl that went missing was found in the science professors lab. You heard that he had been arrested and was taken away by police. You didn't take his class but Tara and most of your friends did. You would have never expected it from a teacher like him.

Right when the bell rang you were out of your seat and headed to the cafeteria.

"Run!!"

Students ran passed you, leaving you confused on what they were running from.

"Y/n run!!" Wes grabbed your hand as he ran passed you. Your eyes widen in shook when you saw what he was running from. Zombies?! You ran after him only to be tackled by one of the zombies.

"Y/N!"

The zombie was one of your teammates, was on top of you. Trying to bite you. You held him by his neck doing your best to keep him away from you but his arms swung wildly hitting you in the face. You tried to use your legs but it was like he was dead weight on you. His teeth grew closer to your neck making you scream in desperation.

Then the weight was off you, you gasped in relief as Wes helped you up. "Come on!"

The two of you ran dodging students and zombies.

"Wait where are the others?!" You yelled. He looked back at you with a remorseful look. "Wesley where are the others."

"I don't know. I think they were in the cafeteria. I don't know. I didn't get a chance to get there before they attacked. Come on."

You had no choice but to follow him. Passing students that were being attacked. Rushing up the stairs only to get hit with what felt like a ton of bricks. Falling hard to the floor your vision going a little blurry. You felt yourself being picked up and lead into a classroom. The door shut behind you as you leaned on the wall. You touched you head and felt something wet. Pulling your hand down and seeing blood on your finger tips.

You barely had a chance to gather yourself when a shorter body slammed into you.

"Thank god you're okay. Everything happened so quickly. I tried to go find you but Chad wouldn't let me go. I was so scared something happened to you." Tara mumbled into your neck as her arms tighten around your waist. The moment that chaos started she along with her friend had been in cafeteria. If it weren't for Amber, she probably would have died when she had frozen in fear when she fell.

"It's okay Tara I'm fine. Chad did the right thing. It's too crazy out there. Let me see you." Cupping her cheeks in your palms you pulled her away enough where you could look down at her and make sure she was okay. You caught the moment she saw the cut on your temple. Her eyes widen as she reached up her hand taking a hold of your chin as she turned your head to the side.

"Come on. I think there's a first aid kit in the professors desk."

Sitting down on the professors chair she got to work on cleaning your cut up and covering it with a bandaid. As she was cleaning you up you saw a small bandage around her wrist that wasn't there in the morning. You took a hold of her hand to take a better look.

"What happened to your wrist?" You looked up at her, she had stood between your legs as she cleaned you up.

"The girl that went missing was in professor Smiths class. She had been attacked by him and had escaped this morning. And wondered in to professor Prescott's class. She seemed confused and erratic when we took her to the nurses office. She attacked the nurse and scratched me. But I'm okay." She reassured you hoping to ease your worries.

"Okay." You nodded trying to calm your racing heart. You could still hear the screaming coming from outside the classroom. You looked around the room seeing most of your friends. Chad, Mindy, Amber, Anika, Wes, Ethan, Quinn, and Liv. Also two other students, Jason and Greg.

"Sam?" You knew she had gone away with her archery team. They had a competition today but she had said that they'd be back by lunch. Her boyfriend Danny was with her, he was on the team as well.

"No. I haven't seen her. But she's Sam. I'm sure she's fine. Right? She's got to be." She started breathing heavily and you had to calm her down before she had an asthma attack. You always had an inhaler with you.

"Hey, Tara look at me. I'm sure she's okay. I mean your sister is a badass. Don't tell her I said that though, her ego is big enough." The shorter brunette let out a small laugh knowing it was very true. "She's okay. I promise you that."

"So what are we going to do? I mean we all saw the same thing right? Those were zombies. I mean they remind me of the zombies from the movie Train to Busan." Mindy said from standing next to the window that looked out to the track and field. Her girlfriend Anika was standing right next to her. Still shaking in fear.

"Zombies? Seriously Mindy. You watch way too many movies." Quinn moved towards the window to see the caos that was happening outside.

"She's not wrong. They act like zombies. I saw Richie get bit and he turned in like a few seconds." Wes said from his spot next to the door. He had pushed a small cabinet up against the door. Hoping to make sure that no one would get in.

"So what do we do. Wait for help to arrive? We don't know how long that'll take." Ethan stood up from sitting next to Wes. He walked up to you, giving you a once over. "Glad you're okay." He patted your shoulder. You offered him a small smile and nod. Ethan had also been a close friend of yours. Him, Chad, Wes and yourself were on the team and great friends.

"We could wait it out. It won't be long till the cops show up. I mean it's basically a riot on school grounds. Anyone have their phones? I left mine in my bag in the cafeteria." Anika asked as she searched for her phone only to come up empty handed.

"I dropped mine when I got tackled. Tar do you have your phone." You turned your attention to short brunette still standing between your legs. She dug in her pocket and took it out. You looked down at her phone to see a picture of you. You were in your football uniform except the helmet. You were smiling big in the picture holding a bouquet of flowers and a small teddy bear close to your chest. You remember that day clearly. You had won your first game that you played as the starting quarterback. Tara had bought the gifts knowing very well you were going to win. She had captured your cheesy smile that she loved so much and made it her locksceen.

You smiled up at her, she tried to hide her blush but smiled regardless. She dialed 911, bringing the phone up to her ear. You watched as she spoke to the dispatcher. The officer seemed not to believe her but never the less said they'd send officers to the school.

"I'm going to call Sam. Hopefully she answers." It was quiet, well as quiet as a zombie filled university could be. You stood up from the chair and let Tara sit in it. "Nothing. She's not answering." She bit her bottom lip, a nervous habit she had. Her hands playing with her phone. You took the phone from her hands putting it on the desk, then taking her hands in yours. Bringing her down on your lap.

"Hey, she'll be okay. She's with Danny and she's strong. She'll be alright." You spoke softly to her, gently squeezing her hands. "Look at me." When her eyes met yours, you smiled softly she returned the small smile. Eyes still filled with worry. "She'll be alright. I need you to focus on yourself right now. Okay? Take a deep breath for me baby." Even though you had her spare inhaler with you. You didn't want her to over work herself.

She followed your directions with no complaints. Once she had her breathing in check she looked down at you and leaned down. Softly kissing your lips. She didn't know what she'd do if she lost you.

*

"Well how crazy was it in the cafeteria?" You asked Chad. Tara, Liv Mindy, Anika, Amber and Quinn were sitting at the corner furthest away from the door. The door was blocked but to be on the safer side. Chad, Wes, Ethan and yourself stood by the window of the second floor building.

"Got too crazy way too fast. How the hell did this even happen? I mean, the girl that went missing was-" The group of teenagers were stoped at the sudden noise of the door being pushed open. The small cabinet moved from the force of the door opening. The girls scrambled to their feet at the sight of the P.E teacher who was also your coach breathing heavily as he closed the door. He looked frantically around the room eyes landing at the group of kids.

"Coach were you bit?" You asked as you took a step forward a hand shooting out and grabbing the back of your shirt. Wes stood behind you, holding your jacket, once he realized that you wouldn't get closer to the coach he let your jacket go.

"No I wasn't bit. Let's let's block the door. We need to secure it. Make sure they don't get in. Come on."

Everyone moved to block the door, as you moved to do what the coach said when a hand held your wrist. You turned back to see Tara. "What's wrong?" Asking as you turned to be directly in front of her.

"Look at his arm. There."

You turned back to look at the teacher. The sleeve of his jacket was rolled up. But there, you saw blood on his wrist. The teeth marks. You knew he'd be turning at any moment know.

"Coach your arm-What are you on about Y/ln come and help. Or I'll bench you and let Frankie back in." He spoke angrily but his eyes filled with fear and denial.

"Y/n what are you doing he said he wasn't bit." Jason said as he stopped his movements from barricading the door.

"He has a bite mark on his arm." You argued with your coach. You felt bad but he was putting your friends, Tara in danger. You knew it wouldn't be long once he turned. "You need to leave."

He scoffed, "You want me to go out there? After all I did to get here."

"Get out, right now. You were bitten and it's putting all of us in danger." Tara fired back, your arm reaching for her and pushing her behind you.

"Listen here you fucking-" He gasped at the feeling of blood coming out of his nose. The coach looked at you as he fell to the ground, his body convulsing.

You stepped back pulling Tara with you. You could only watch as your coach turned into a zombie.

"Get him out of here!" Greg yelped, the zombie looked his way and launched towards him.

The second they were all frozen in fear, it was all it took for the zombie to go for the bite. You reacted first, running forward.

"Y/n no!"

You pulled the coach off Greg, throwing him to side. You picked up a book and hit him with it, making him fall back. "We need to get outta here!"

"Come on!" Chad ran towards the door pulling the desks and cabinets out of the way with the help of Ethan and Wes. The girls followed close behind them. Tara grabbing you by the hand, pulling you behind her as you and your friends ran down the hall. Leaving the coach and Greg behind.

"Where are we going?!" Amber yelled as she swung the handle of a paper guillotine she broke off.

"The science lab!" Chad yelled back. He had a leg of a wooden chair swinging the stick pushing the zombie off Ethan.

You had been thrusted a chair leg by Chad as you were pulled down the hall. Amber and Mindy had pulled Tara from you as you helped the boys push back the zombies from getting to them. They all ran upstairs trying to get to the science lab.

"Y/n hurry!" You heard Tara yell from behind you. You looked behind you to see her, her arm being held by Amber.

"Go! Open the door for the science lab! I'll be right behind you!" You grunted at the force from the pushing. You spared a glance back at Tara, she was being pulled by Amber and Mindy. You swung the chair leg at one of the zombies. Feeling your heart beating in your ears when you realized the way to your friends was being blocked by zombies. There was no way for you to get through them.

Having no choice but to hide in another room.

*

The door was slammed shut. All the guys moving to push something in order to make sure the zombies didn't push through. The brunette looking frantically around for you. But you were hard to miss. In any crowded room she'd always find you. Like her eyes were magnets, always connecting with yours.

"Where's Y/n?"

Wes snapped his head up. You were right behind him. He heard you shout that you were right behind them.

Tara didn't think, didn't wait for anyone to say anything before she was at the door trying to move the stuff blocking the door. She needed to get to you. Make sure you were okay.

"Tara, Tara you can't go out there." Amber was the one to stop her. Feeling the shorter girls shoulder shaking.

"Please Amber, I have to make sure she's okay. She has to be okay. I can't lose her." Tara let the sob out, you were right behind her. Telling her that you were right behind her. She knew she should have stayed with you. Feeling like the walls were closing in on her as she cried into Amber's shoulder.

Amber swallowed the lump in her throat. Seeing what her best friend and you had was something she could only wish for. Seeing the relationship blossom from such a young age was something everyone wanted. That true love. Knowing that if something were to happen to either of you, the other would be lost with out them.

"Come on Tara. Breath. Y/n is one of the strongest and most athletic person I know. Not to mention she's too stubborn when it comes to getting to you." Amber spoke gently to the shorter girl, leading Tara away from the door towards the window.

Everyone else looked back out the small window on the door, afraid that they'd see their friend as one of the zombies

*

You had ran into the art room, running straight to the desk with the little seconds you had before the zombies came running in. Staying at quiet as you could as you heard the footsteps and groaning coming closer. You needed to find a way out of the class and back to Tara.

*

"She'll be okay, you have to believe that she will." Amber looked out the window, looking at what was once a field filled with joy now filled with groans of students that she once knew. She felt Tara's warm hand taking hers. Tara had been her friend for the longest time. She felt tears build up in her eyes as she failed to look at Tara. She knew what was going to happen. She could feel it inside her. And she was scared.

"Amber, your hand, it's co-" Tara felt the dread wash over her like a cold bucket of water being poured over her head at what it meant. Amber was cold to the touch, her best friend always had cold hands. It was nothing new. But this type of coldness was new. Her eyes connecting to the eyes that were once brown. Were now red.

"Amber?" Quinn stood up, looking at the shorter girl. She stepped closer, her eyes also filling with tears. She couldn't lose another friend. Especially not Amber. Not when she hasn't told her how she felt. She looked at Tara who was yet to look away from Amber. When Amber turned around she felt her heart shatter at the sight of the nose bleed. She knew what that meant.

"It's okay Quinn. It's okay." Amber looked at the taller girl. She hated herself for not telling the girl how she felt. For waiting too long. From the moment she first saw Quinn. She shouldn't have let the chance go. But now. Now it was too late. She didn't want to do this to Quinn but she knew she had no control of what was going to happen next. Her gaze turned to the Quinn's brother.

Ethan stood behind Quinn, ready to protect Quinn and Tara when it came down to it. He knew it was only a matter of seconds before the Amber they knew was gone. He looked into Amber's eyes. The unspoken words in her eyes. He nodded. He knew what that look meant. He saw the small glimpse of relief in her eyes and her shoulders before the look was gone replaced with pain.

"I love you Quinn."

Quinn let out a sob, she was losing Amber. The smart witted girl that had stolen her heart with snarky remarks. Moving forward to get closer to Amber. Only to be held back by her brother.

"Get her the fuck outta here. Do something!"

Everyone ignored Jason as they watched Amber fall to the floor. The cocky, witty, Amber was gone. Replaced by a raging, flesh eating monster.

*

You peaked from the corner of the desk. There was a few zombies in the class. All gathered around the entrance of the class. There was no way you were getting out through that. You weren't sure what to do. Or how to do it. You looked around hoping to find a way back to Tara and your friends. The only way out would be through the windows, you had no other choice.

You were quick to move, throwing what you can to keep, the zombies away from you. You tried not to look down, the science lab was a level up. You weren't so sure if you'd be able to climb up.

Your foot slipping on the ledge making your heart jump to your throat "Oh shit."

You shuffled on the side, trying to figure out, how you could climb up. When you saw Wesley on what you assumed to be a water hose. You watched as he struggled to kick off the zombie off his foot. "Holy shit Wes, hold on I'm coming to you."

"Y/n? You're alive!" He smiled momentarily forgetting the situation he was in. The happiness he felt was quick to wash away at the pull of his leg. He couldn't get a good grip on the hose.

"I'm going to you. Just hold on." You weren't sure how you'd get to Wes.

"Y/n, look up."

You looked up, eyes widening at seeing a bloody face of a zombie, this time without a moment of hesitation. You leaped towards Wesley. Your heart jumping towards your throat as you free fell for a second before your arms wrapped themselves around Wes.

You were quick to kick off the zombie that held on to Wesley's foot.

"Ugh thanks. Now get off me, go down to the broadcasting room."

"What? I thought you liked my hugs." You smiled as you moved further down on the hose. Carefully going through the window.

"Y/n? Holy shit dude I thought you were dead." Ethan was quick to pull you in a tight hug. You hugged him back. He was quick to pull away, right when a familiar sob rang through the room. You looked ahead seeing Tara, her eyes red filled with tears.

You felt her body shaking as she fell into your arms. Her arms had wrapped around your waist in a tight hold as she cried into your chest. You held her closer looking at everyone around the room. You knew she was most likely worried about you. But hearing her cry like this was concerning. The more you looked around, you realized someone was missing.

Amber. Amber wasn't in the room.

With a regretful nod, Wes confirmed your thoughts. Your eyes falling to Quinn who was also crying. Your heart ached at the look on her face. You had tried hard to get Amber and Quinn together but they both were too scared of rejection.

Your eyes filled with tears. Tara had lost her best friend, your friend. Amber had been the first one to know about your feelings towards Tara. Amber had been the one to push the both of you together.

And Quinn lost someone who could have been the love of her life.

Amber was gone.

*

"Hey, talk to me." You whispered, you were sat at the corner of the room with Tara sitting in between your legs. She was leaned back into your chest. Her head resting in your neck. You could hear her faint whizzing. She had cried herself into an asthma attack.

"I-I thought you were gone. Her...Amber's- her hands were so cold. Her hands have always been cold. But they were freezing...She's gone. Amber's gone."

She began to cry softly, you brought her closer softly rubbing her back. Hoping to give her a bit comfort. But you knew you could only do so much. Amber was like another sister to Tara.

"I'm sorry Tara." It was all you could say. There was nothing that could comfort Tara at the moment. She had just lost someone that was like a sister to her. You hated thinking what Amber could have felt. How scared she must of felt. For Amber to go through that it made you want to cry.

"He's bleeding, he's infected. We have to throw him out."

You were brought out of your thoughts to see Jason pointing a finger at Wes. You and Tara both stood up looking at Wes to see his nose was bleeding.

"Oh I slammed my face on the wall when I had to jump out the science lab window." He wiped his nose with his vest, that he had taken off.

"No. You're going to turn into one of those things. He's putting all of us in danger. Greg, Coach Loomis, Amber. They all started showing signs of infection with a nose bleed." Jason argued. "Look at his fucking hand-"

"Stop." You pushed Jason away from Wes. You did not want to believe your best friend was going to change into one of those things. You stood in-front of Wes taking his hand in yours. You saw the scratches on his fist. They didn't look too deep. But you weren't sure if he'd turn. Everyone you saw turn, they had been bitten.

"It's just a scratch." You stepped beside him looking back at your friends. "He'll be fine."

"Oh you're one to talk. Profesor Prescott. You have to do something about it." Jason argued, he wasn't going to let this infected be in the room. Putting him in danger.

"Wesley. How about you go into the soundproof room and wait it out. Make sure you're not infected. Just a safety precaution." Sidney truly still couldn't wrap her head around what was happening. The fear she felt was something she has never felt. But she knew she had to stay control and hopefully keep her kids safe.

"But Profesor Prescott-Please Wesley. We can't be too careful."

With a huff he walked into the soundproof room. The door shutting behind him. You watched as he sat down on a chair. You really hoped he didn't turn. You couldn't lose any more friends.

*

"Well times up. I think Jason here owes Wes an apology." Chad spoke his arms crossed as he stood straight looking down at the boy in question.

"What? Yea right. I'm not apologizing to him. Why the fuck would I?" Jason crossed his arms in anger. Hating the way everyone in the room was looking at him.

"Dude, just own up that you were wrong." Ethan said from his spot, he had been trying to comfort his sister. There was times he had thought that Quinn would have gotten together with Amber. He had high hopes for his sister. But now she looked heartbroken and he couldn't blame her. Amber was a big part of the group.

"Yes Jason please go apologize to Wesley."

With even the teacher gaining up him. He had no choice but to go into the room. A dark thought crossing his mind. Once he would follow through. The consequences not being enough to stop him.

Everything happened so quickly. He was fine. Then the next his nose was bleeding with her being blood red. Tara stood behind you, knowing very well what you were going through. You were losing your best friend and there was absolutely nothing you could do about it. Only being able to watch as Wesley changed into one of the monsters as well.

*

The group was losing more friends than they had been prepared for. First Amber and now Wesley. You had stood next to the window for the longest time. You Chad and Ethan had to push Wesley out of the window. Trying hard to avoid getting bit by your once called best friend. He had been your first friend, back in preschool. He had been the one to name you his best friend.

And now he was gone.

"We have to find a way outta of here." Your gaze was on the world outside. You had lost sight of Wes the moment he got up from falling from the third floor window. Tara stood by your side her grip on your hand never wavering.

"How? Out there, it's too crazy and too risky." Chad spoke from his spot in the floor. He knew that help would take too long for it to arrive. With how dark and chaotic it looked from the room window. He knew that help could take up to hours if not days.

"The front is not an option. But the through the back. The construction sight we could use that route and head through the woods." You needed to get your friends out of this school. Staying here was clearly not an option.

"Okay, how do we get through those zombies?" Ethan spoke from his spot between his sister and Chad. He saw the familiar crinkle form in between your eyebrows as you thought of something. He watched you, the sadness and the complete refusal of acceptance of Wes being gone was still in your eyes.

"Zombie guts?"

"What?" Everyone turned their gaze to Mindy.

Mindy shrugged, "don't look at me like that. Haven't you guys watched the Walking Dead or any other zombie related movie. We all established that these things are zombies. So there for we use zombie guts to hide are humanly odor with flesh and get the fuck outta here." She stood up, her hand held out to help Anika up.

"Alright, it's not like we have other options. how do we get one of those things in here?" Anika asked, she was scared. Scared for what was going come. Especially if this idea became something they actually did. They already lost Amber and now Wes.

The professor in the room stayed quiet, what had just happened was something she was surely she'd never forget. Wes, Judy's son. He had been the sweet boy one second and replaced by a flesh eating monster. The change had been quick. She didn't know what or how she'd tell Judy. Judy loved her boy, he had always been her pride and joy. To have that taken from her, Sidney couldn't even imagine what that felt like.

"There's plenty of st-bodies in the hall." Sidney finally found her voice. She felt guilty for even saying it but if it meant saving at least these kids, well she had to try.

*

It took a day of no rescue for the others to actually go through with the plan. The day had been spent going back up to the tech room. Retrieving a drone to look for any survivors. With no luck on the drone it had made the original plan more cemented in everyone's mind.

"We should still use something to distract those things." Sidney said as they had successfully dragged two dead zombie student bodies into the room. She could see how your bloody hand shook as you put down the blade. Ethan and Chad had helped you drag the two unrecognizable kids into the room.

"The intercoms you use for morning announcements?"

"Okay Anika come and help me."

While Anika and professor Prescott worked on that. You stayed looking down at the blood on your hands. You had just killed two students. Two students that were no longer themselves but yet you did it. The parents of said kids would never get the chance to see them again. And now, now you were planning to cut them open. Like pigs, all in the name of survival. What you were about to do, you weren't even sure if it'd work. But it had to. You and your friends couldn't last another day in this school.

Soft hands cupped your cheeks, lifting your gaze away from your hands. "Hey, look at me." Dark brown eyes looked back into yours. "Stay with me." Her words rang in your ears. Your racing thoughts come to a halt, you need to get Tara out of this school. Some where safe.

"It's ready." 

Now all that was to be done was to butcher these kids, before you could even pick up the blade someone else took picked it up.

"You've done enough, I got this." Ethan said giving you no chance before he took a deep breath and you flinched at the sound of bones breaking. You looked away, your eyes finding Tara who was by the window. You knew she was worried for her sister.

"Wait, Professor? How do I use the intercom's?" You asked while Ethan helped cover the others in blood.

"Just push down on this button to speak, okay go ahead."

"Sam if you can hear this, it's Y/n, we are going towards the construction sight. Please try to meet us there."

*

The walk was tense. Everyone in the group falling in a close line. Tara standing right behind you. The halls had a few stragglers, but they paid no mind to you or the others. Those things, too occupied with the morning positive announcements. From what you could see the plan was working. Thing that worried you was that said announcements were only thirty minutes long. And it's been twenty at most minutes that have passed since you all stepped out of the broadcasting room.

"We have to hurry."

Your head snapped back at Jason. The look was harsh, as the deal was to not talk and make unnecessary noise. But the damage was already done. The zombie that was closest to him had growled in his direction, it was enough for him to get out of line stumbling on a dead body, making him crash on to the floor. The yells of the zombies as the scream that left his lips was enough to draw in more.

Some bumped into you but paid you no mind you had taken Tara in your arms the moment he had fallen out of line. You couldn't do anything without putting the others at risk. So you took a quiet step back. Leading the others away.

It was too late for him anyway.

*

The plan was going too smoothly. You were only minutes away from entering the construction site. When the rain came followed by loud thunder. You breath hitched at the meaning. The smell of dead would wash away. Leaving you and your friends exposed.

"Run."

The panic washed over everybody, the pace picked up and the rain fell harder. The sound of infected roared as the picked up the scent of human flesh. The group cutting through the open field to get to the closest construction area. Running into the building.

"Get down!"

The group of teens didn't hesitate as they dropped to the floor. The faint noise of arrows flying by. The sound of the dead dropping and staying down. You had covered Tara with your body. When the only thing that could now be heard was the sound of rain and thunder. You looked up eyes connecting with familiar brown eyes.

With a chocked laugh you got up, helping Tara up. Tara only had a second until she realized who was in front of her. "Sam." The hug between the two sisters was a moment you felt like you needed. The relief in Tara's shoulder was noticeable. Sam looked at you and the group. Eyes furrowing, you felt like you knew what she was thinking. Shaking your head slightly, her eyes filled with remorse and slight tears.

"We have to get off school grounds. It's too crazy here." Danny said after retrieving the arrows. "I was able to talk with my dad before the phone lines stopped working. People were able to evacuate to the town over. The city is blocked by the military, so we have to go to one those checkpoints and hope they don't shoot first."

If the military was able to evacuate some people you knew that if the school grounds were crazy, the city was most likely worse. With a sigh of what you and the others will most likely go through. Getting to the construction sight had been hard and almost seemed too difficult. But now having to just go into the city, now that was impossible.

*

"Okay guys just stay close okay. Everyone has a weapon right?" Danny asked as he loaded his own bow with an arrow. His gaze falling on you. He could see how much it hurt to lose Wes. He had been more like brother to you and he knew how much you cherished the friendship with Wes. He also knew that Tara was hurting. Amber was also like sister to Tara. Being there when Sam couldn't.

"Okay. I'll be in the front, arrows in the front clearing a path. Y/n, Chad, Ethan think you two can handle the back?" Danny asked getting nods in response. "Everyone else try to stay in the middle don't get separated. Alright let's go."

*

He felt cold, confused, hungry? He felt really hungry. The hall floor was hard and wet, but the more he became aware the more he realized that it was blood on his clothes. His blood.

The memories came flooding back in, the feeling of being eaten alive. He remembered all those bites, he felt those bites before his world went black.

You.

You had left him there to die. Not even moving to help.

He'd make you pay.

*

Tara kept looking back at your direction, she didn't like that you were in the back. She was thankful to know that her sister was alive and not one of those things. Yet she still feared what could happen. They had successfully made it out of the school. Cutting through the back woods. The woods had been thankfully deserted with no infected in sight.

With Sam in front of her along side Danny, the walk was quiet, tense. She was afraid that the smallest noise would bring those things down on them.

She had to believe, or at least hope that everything would be okay.

*

You breathed heavily as you pushed your back onto the door. The dead pushing their own weight to get the door to open. "Fuck! Get something to block the door!" Chad and Ethan helped you with the door. While the rest helped with pushing a big cabinet. Your body pushed forward from the force of the door trying to he pushed open.

"Guys hurry up!" "Move!" The big cabinet fell in front of the door blocking the infected from getting in.

"Man that was intense, everyone okay?" You slumped back into a wall, everyone responded with a confirmation. "Come let's get away from the doors and windows."

Once everyone was in a more secluded area with less windows, you turned and checked over Tara. "You okay? No bites? Do you need your inhaler?" Hands stopping their movements on her cheeks.

"I'm fine. Come on let's rest." The day had been a long one. From moving discreetly and not so discreetly the group had to take refuge in a restaurant. The moment you had a chance you took Tara into your arms. Thankful to have her safely in your embrace.

With most of the electricity being out in the city the streets were dark and if not almost impossible to see in the dark. So you had to find shelter and having to move when the sun was out. The rest was well deserved, with everyone running low on energy. The group had taken shelter in a room furthest from the front door. But it had a window just in case of needed to get out of there quickly.

~

Tara had been asleep on your chest, she felt so exhausted, hungry. It was still dark out, so she wasn't sure what woke her up. You were still asleep, your chest rising and falling in a calming way. Your face was relaxed for the first time since this whole thing started. As she traced your facial features with her eyes, the glow of the moon was enough for her to see your face. She heard a noise. A noise that she was certain was what woke her up.

The door leading down to the empty hall way was closed and barricaded with a desk. Everyone had fallen asleep. As she moved to get up your arm wrapped around her waist tightened.

"Where are you going?" Your voice came out as a whisper. You had always been a light sleeper.

"I heard something." She whispered back. You were now wide awake as you sat up with her. She watched as you stepped silently towards the door, she moved behind you, refusing to let you go alone.

You only moved the desk a few inches. Enough to only crack open the door, only to get a peak outside. The noise was heard again. But you couldn't see anything, the halls were dark. The moon light only casted so much light. The noise got closer and closer until you saw two eyes looking up you. The breath you didn't even know you were holding was let out.

Meow.

The cat used the small gab you left open. To get in. The black cat rubbing against your leg.

"Oh it's a kitty." Tara gushed as she pointed the light from her phone on the cat. You chuckled and quietly moved to shut the door.

You didn't see it coming. You had been so focused on Tara's smile as she the cat in her arms. The force of the push had been so unexpected, the force throwing you back. Your eyes widen in disbelief at who stood there. Covered in blood and bloody snarl on his lips.

"You left me. You left me to die."

"Jason."

Everyone was now awake. You could feel the tension, and the guilt you felt washed in.

"Feeling guilty?" His twitching was noticeable. You couldn't wrap your mind around that fact that he was still alive.

"Yeah, I felt guilty too...when I infected Wesley. But then I remembered what he did to me. Then it went away."

Your ears felt like they were ringing, his word repeating in your mind. Wes was fine till Jason went in that room to apologize. Jason killed Wes. He killed your best friend. You acted before really thinking.

"Y/n!"

Your fists connected with his face. The rage and fury you felt washed over. It angered you further that he was laughing. The rage grew and the punches became more intense.

Arms wrapped around you as they tried to pull you off. The arms of Ethan and Chad pulling you off there hold on you tight.

"You'll all die."

The sounds of groaning and screams filled the hall. Everyone sharing a look as they all moved to shut the door. Jason laid on the floor as he continued to laugh loudly. Drawing the attention of the infected. You wasted no time to grab him once again throwing him out the window.

"Fuck, out the window." Anika moved towards the broken window. Seeing Jason no longer where he landed. She was scared. Scared on what that could mean. He had turned but he wasn't like the rest. He was still conscious of his actions.

The sun just barely coming out casting a light into the room. Your hands still shook, the anger you still had was still there just now accompanied by some overwhelming regret.

"We have to move!! They're breaking through the door!" Danny yelled as he along with Chad, Ethan, Mindy and Sam tried to hold the desk in place.

Tara was quick to cup your cheeks breaking you out of your spiral. "Baby come on we have to go. Stay with me." Your eyes held so much and she couldn't even comprehend what you were thinking.

"Go with Anika, Sam go down with them. Make sure the way is clear for the rest of us to go down." Taking Tara's hands in your giving them a what you could only hope was a comforting squeeze. "Go with them. I'll be right behind you."

Tara heard you say that once and she lost you for second. This time she didn't listen. She moved to help you with the desk. "Ta-No, I'm not leaving you again. Mindy go. Then Ethan and Chad. I'll go with you. The window is big enough for the both of to jump out of."

Quickly they cleared the room. The door giving out the moment you and Tara rushed forward. The quickness of how you both went out the window falling into a dumpster.

"We have to move! Come on." You took Tara's hand and rushed down the alley. The same alley that was once mostly empty of infected was now filled with them. In the center was Jason. A smug smirk on his face.

"RUN!!"

*

Tara had always been light, with your work outs and constant sports you played you were in great shape. So when you felt Tara slowing down. You didn't even need to look at her when you picked her up. Her arms and legs wrapping around you tightly. Her shortness in breath had you worried and you knew she needed her inhaler.

"The bus! Get on the bus!" Sam yelled her pace picking up as she reached the bus getting the door open, thanking what ever god was up there that the keys were in the key was in the ignition.

You had been the last one to reach the bus. Only a step in when you felt a sharp pain on your forearm looking behind you to see Jason before an arrow was shot right in between his eyes. His limp body falling to the floor, unmoving.

The bus moved forward as the doors closed. The infected crashing into the side of the bus.

You focused on tara whose breathing was becoming more dangerously labored. You sat her down on one of the seats digging in your pocket to take out the inhaler. "Come baby, use this. Breathe in. I got you." You spoke softly in her ear. The inhaler brought up to her lips. "Nice and easy. That's my girl." It took a few more minutes for her breathing to return to a somewhat normal rhythm.

*

"Okay I think we lost them." Mindy spoke up as stood by Sam who had been driving. The roads were empty of infected, abandoned cars were on the streets but the bus was strong enough to move the cars out of the way.

Everything was a bit muffled for you. All you could think about now was the bite on your forearm that was covered by your long sleeve shirt. You weren't sure at first if you were going to turn seeing as Jason was still, alive? But as the minutes passed and the hour grew closer. You felt yourself growing lighter, weaker. You had to tell them.

Tara was resting her head on your chest as you leaned your back on the window. The cat on her lap also resting. Everyone was so unaware of what was happening.

"Sam stop the bus."

"What?" She looked back at you and then back at the road. It was an open field now the city behind as you were the check point wouldn't be too far now.

"What's wrong?" Tara pulled away from your chest to look at you. Her eyes searching for why you would want Sam to stop the bus. But you didn't meet her eyes. Instead you stood up as the bus stopped. Her hand reaching to take a hold of yours.  Her breath hitching and the chill rolling down her body at the feeling of your cold hands.

"No." It came out so small, denying what it meant. You were probably just cold. Your hands got cold sometimes.

Your eyes filled with tears. You pulled back afraid of what was to come. You didn't want to hurt anyone. Especially not Tara.

Chad moved to stand behind Tara, confused what was wrong. "What's going on?"

You took another step back towards the doors. Tara refused to look away from you as her eyes filled with more tears, her lip quivering as she refused to believe what was happening.

"Y/n?" Ethan asked standing by Chad. His hand reaching for Chad's.

The lump in your grew bigger as everyone's eyes were now on you. your eyes finally meeting Tara's, the pure anguish and refusal to accept what was to come.

"Jason bit me, I wasn't sure if it was going to happen. But I am turning. I—I can fe—el it." The tears that blurred your vision finally fell. The feeling of you losing the control of your mind was a lot more, than you had expected.

"Da—nny shoot me."

"What?" Danny's voice cracked as he took you in. Your hands were shaking blood starting to roll down your noise.

"No!" The whizzing got worse as Tara rushed to get to you but was stopped by Sam. She tried hard to get out of her sisters hold but Sam had always been strong.

"D—on't want to....be one of th—ose things." You could feel the blood rolling down your noise. Your vision coming and going. Your knees growing weaker as you crumbled down to the floor. "Da—nny please."

Danny looked at Sam who was also crying trying to comfort her younger sister. Her brown eyes filled with uncertainty.

You tried to get back up wanting to get out of the bus.

Tara couldn't let you go. She couldn't, seeing your once y/ec eyes were now covered in a bloody red color. She cried out your name, desperately trying to get to you. "Sam please. There could be a cure. We just have to get her to one of the camps." Ignoring all the signs of the infection taking over.

"D—anny!" Your voice came out once more. More desperately. You had stood back up red veins noticeable on your face. Danny loaded his arrow hands shaking as he aimed it at you. You were no longer you.

"I'm sorry." The arrow went fast, and you dropped even faster. Your body laying thee no longer twitching, no longer moving. The arrow went directly into your left eye. He let his arrow drop his ears felt like they were ringing, muffling picking up the cry of Tara.

The world was coming to an end. And in a zombie apocalypse, everyone's survival was not guaranteed.

:(

[lilbitdepressed27]

JENVERSE

Jenna Ortega/Fem!Reader

Summary: where they all meet

Warnings: death, angst, confusion?

WC: 8.4k

Author's note: This was supposed to be posted a while back but I was too busy moving and completely forgot, so sorry about that. Hope you guys enjoy. Sorry for any mistakes :) also italics means flashbacks

You weren't sure where you were at. One second you were at home and the next you literally blinked and the next thing you knew you were in the middle of the woods. You didn't know how to react. The first thing you thought of was that you had fallen asleep. With the thought it mind you finally got your legs to move. Walking in the wet woods. The more you walked the more confused you got.

Where exactly were you?

It wasn't long till you found an opening, a path leading into a town. The town looked small, unfamiliar. With things still feeling a bit, hazy? You crossed the street leading into town. Not seeing the car driving towards you. The sound of screeching tires, and the impact of the car hitting you was like an ice cold water being dumped over your head. The pain being too real for this to be a dream.

"It can't be."

Was the last thing you heard before your world faded into darkness.

*

Before you actually opened your eyes, you felt the soft bed you were laying in, a smell that seemed like you smelt it before but you couldn't place it anywhere. The pain from being hit by car was still there.

"Fuck, so I'm not dreaming." You finally opened your eyes. The room was unfamiliar, you had no clue where you were. Obviously not a hospital. Getting out of bed was a bit painful but you only had a bruise on your right leg from where the car hit you. "Where the hell am I?"

The room was spacious. Probably bigger than your apartment. You made your way towards the door, limping as you walked out of the room. The house seemed like an old moderen home. A home that reminded you a lot of the Addams Family. You loved that movie.

As you walked down the hall, you heard a few voices. Quietly following the voices. Rounding the corner only to freeze in your steps. You were now in a big living room. But the luxury of the big house wasn't what had you freezing in your step. It was of the people who were standing in the room looking at you like they knew you. The weird thing was how they all looked the same but weirdly different in their own way.

"Uh hello." You gave a small wave lamely. The women in room also seemed frozen in their shoes. But the sound of your voice had them snapping out of what ever they could be thinking of.

"H-How are you feeling?" The one with a southern accent spoke. She was cute, some cute overalls with a yellow striped shirt underneath, but they all were cute really.

To be honest your leg was killing you but it wasn't broken or anything. But seeing the concern shinning and what seemed to be tears misting the girl's eyes you didn't have the heart to worry her more. "I'm okay, don't worry."

But they did worry. They were worried. They didn't know what brought them together but they came to realize that they all had something in common. Something they all had lost. That something was you. The more they got to know each other, the more they spoke about their own Y/n. And their Y/n shared more than a few things in common. One of the things that was shared was, how you would push away any and if not all of your own feelings to make sure their were okay.

They had considered this your only flaw.

"Sit down, how are you really feeling?" The one wearing all black, had walked towards you, directing you towards a chair. Seeing that she didn't seem like she takes no for an answer. You sat down on the chair.

"I'm good really, what's your girls name? Are you guys like sextuplets, that's so cool. I've never met some before. Also who hit me with a car? I'm not mad or anything. Was just wondering. Um I'm Y/n by the way." You cleared your throat feeling your cheeks heating up at the way the women were looking at you.

"N-Yes, we're sextuplets. I'm Cairo." Cario, who also had a southern accent although hers wasn't as strong as the woman in overalls is. She had cut off the one in baggy clothes, you couldn't get over how beautiful every single one of them are. How they all looked the same but yet different by the way they dressed and styled their hair.

"I'm Vada." The one with baggy clothes said. Her eyes also seemed to fill with unshed tears as she tried to avoid your eyes. Her voice coming out shaky.

"My name is Lorraine." The one with overalls.

"Tara." She was sitting in between Vada and Lorraine. She also refused to look you in the eyes though.

"Mable." This one the other hand couldn't take her eyes off of you. You didn't mind. A part of you wanted to be looked at by the beautiful women in front of you.

"And I'm Wednesday. My friend was the one to hit you with a her vehicle. You had come out of woods so quickly she barely had enough time to stop. So I know you're lying." The one in all black said. But her name had you taking a closer look. She did give off the Addams Family vibes.

"Well it's a bit sore, but I'm fine really. Nothing I can't handle." You said with a beaming smile. Hoping that it could prove that you were, really fine. But all you got from the girl standing in front of you was a look of pure sadness. "Okay what gives? Why are all you looking at me like I'm dead or something? I swear it's not the first time someone's hit me with a car."

The six pair of eyes looked away from you. You could feel the grief coming from all of them. You weren't sure what to do. They all looked like they could use a hug. You were never really good at comforting people. But the strong desire to comfort every single one of them, was strong.

"Are..Are you guys alright? I'm sorry if I said something wrong, I didn't mean to. My mouth tends to run before I can actually process what I'm thinking. I consider it a flaw. But you know, well not that you do know cause I'm basically a stranger-uh I'm gonna shut up." You scratched your neck felling stupid and extremely embarrassed. You could feel your body over heating and your cheeks burning.

Man I gotta learn how to keep my mouth shut.

The women in the room could only look at you in a sort of awe, a yearning look. They all missed their own Y/n. Seeing a version of their Y/n standing in front of them was, sorrowful. They knew you would go back to your earth. Just like every single one of them would. A world where their Y/n wasn't there.

From the corner of your eye you saw Wednesday walk towards you. You looked towards her and even though she had a straight face, you could see a storm in those dark brown eyes. Which was weird. You could never read people like this.

"Do you know how you got here?"

That was a good question. You don't know. Last thing you remembered you were editing your video, your eyes had felt dry and they were burning from looking at your computer screen for too long. You had shut your eyes for not even a full minute. When you opened them you were in the middle of the woods. You honestly would have still thought this was a dream if you didn't get hit by that car.

"Uh I don't know. This is going to sound crazy but one second I was in my room editing one of my videos and the next I was in the woods." Saying it out loud did in fact sound crazy. If these girls thought you were high on drugs you certainly wouldn't blame them.

"Y/n do you believe in the multiverse?"

The sight of you straightening up and smiling down at Wednesday it had been the first time in three months since she's seen that familiar smile in person. She knew how much she missed yo-her Y/n. How much she craved her Y/n's presence. How empty she had felt since her Y/n...died. Y/n had died a painful death. Her Y/n had been shot and killed during a school shooting. She remembered that day like it were yesterday. How she wished she had been with you. Or wished that she would have stopped you from leaving the class room.

But she wasn't the only one to lose you in a school shooting, taking a quick glance at Vada, who was already looking at her. She knew that look. And she was sure she had the same look in her eye.

The only difference was she avenged her y/n, killed and tortured the man who took her y/n away from her. That man died a long painful death. No one could prove it was her. Vada didn't have that same privilege.

"Oh yeah! Just the thought of there being more earths is so fascinating, other versions of yourself is such a scary but yet pretty cool thought." You answered. Everyone in the room paying close attention to you.

"Do you know of someone named Jenna Ortega?" Cairo asked as she leaned back into her seat. Her eyes intensely looking at you. Refusing to look away.

"Uh name sounds familiar. But personally I don't think so." You lived in Alaska, didn't have any type of social media. Just your YouTube channel. You absolutely loved living in Alaska, making little survival videos was a lovely pastime. It was also your income.

"Alright we are going to cut this short. I'm tired biting around the bush. Is your name Y/n Y/mn Y/ln? Were you born in y/ht? Is your mom Y/mn and dad Y/dn? Was your first camera a Polaroid 600?"

The girl you know as Tara finally spoke. Her eyes misting with unshed tears. Her gaze was strong, this was the first time she actually looked at you. And her eyes held so much pain and, regret?

"What the..? How-How do you know that?" You were now a bit more than just confused. A little weirded out, that someone you just met, knew so much about you.

"Y/n we aren't sextuplets, we aren't from this earth and neither are you." Tara said her voice firm and serious. It felt like it's been too long since she last saw yo-her Y/n. Her Y/n had died in the attacks in New York. Her Y/n died in her arms in that theater. She remembered begging. Pleading for her Y/n to not leave her. Begging for forgiveness for not trusting you. Hating herself for not trusting you, for turning her back on you. Everything that was left unsaid. The guilt, the grief, it had almost lead her to her own death.

"I don't know why you're here or why we're here but we have some theories." Tara said her gaze no longer looking at you. She couldn't keep looking, feeling like she was unworthy to look in your eyes.

"Alright, so what are those theories?" A part of you didn't believe her but yet she spoke so seriously. It was kinda hard not to believe her.

Every single one of them pulled a phone or in Wednesday's and Lorraine's case, a picture. You furrowed your eyebrows confused as they all handed you their phones and pictures. Only for your eyes to widen. In every single picture there was a version of, you.

Your hair styled differently in every photo but you nevertheless. In every picture you looked happy with every single girl being close to you in a romantic way. The first picture was of you and Lorraine. This version of you was on a horse in a open field, a cowboy hat on your head as Lorraine sat in front of you, your arms wrapped around her waist in such a loving way as Lorraine looked at you with so much love.

The next picture was of a different version of you with Wednesday, you were both in uniforms, in what seemed to be in a dark dorm room, it was clear that you were the one holding up the camera taking the picture. This version of you was smiling as well as you had Wednesday pulled close to you.

The next picture was of you and Mable in front what seemed to be a wrecked boat. Mable was smiling wide as she hugged your side, one hand under your shirt as you had an arm wrapped around her shoulder, leaning down as you kissed the top of her head.

The next picture was of you and Cairo, although this one seemed more platonic than romantic. You were both seating at what seemed to be a couch in a room, someone else was clearly taking the picture, Cairo looking at you with such longing as you just smiled at the camera.

The next one was with you and Vada, with her on your lap as you sat on a bench. The phone was propped up by something as you both smiled at the camera. Her arms wrapped around your shoulders, her cheeks pressed to yours.

The last picture was of you and Tara. You both were cuddled up on a couch, most of her body was on top of you her hand had been creasing your cheek, as your own arms were wrapped around her waist.

You honestly never seen yourself so happy and in love. In every single picture, you were happy. But the question now running through your mind now. If you were so happy and in love in these pictures.

Where were you.

It was like they could read your mind. Cause the next words out of Cairo's mouth were the answers to why your other yous weren't present.

"You're dead in our earths."

"Oh."

It explained why they always looked so sad when they looked at you. You wanted to know how you died. But you didn't want to offend or bring back bad memories for them. Clearly losing a version of yourself was hard for them. Judging by the way they all avoided your eyes.

"Like Tara said, we don't know why we're here. But it seems that you are a common factor in our lives." Wednesday spoke after a moment of silence.

"Okay, okay so what exactly do you girls want-Wait, um how did I, uh how did my...doppelgänger? I'm not sure if I should even ask."

Wednesday took mercy on you, "It was different. Which is why we think it's best if everyone has their own moment with you."

*

She didn't know what was going on, she remembered going to sleep after a busy, hectic day. She had been tired, so exhausted. She loved her job, it was something she had worked so hard to do and to be the person she was today. Loving every single roll she had done, but with those rolls came the exhaustion of having to be the best she could. Her fame had grown and cause of this there wasn't much she could do without being seen and stopped.

She loved her fans, but what she loved more was a moment of peace.

The celebrity life came with so much opportunities and luxuries, it also came with so many down falls. What she longed more than anything was someone to trust, someone to love. Someone who loved her for who she was, not because she was Jenna Ortega but because she was just a girl who longed to be loved. She had tried to find that type of love. But it had been hard, especially since she was celebrity. People only wanted to date her cause of what her name could give them.

The noise of laughter brought her back to the situation she was in now. She seemed to be at a farm house, one she never seen before. The noise from outside was so, quiet, but yet loud. Not the type of loud that busy cities brought. The loud noise that she gotten used to. No it was the nature type of loud. The birds, the slight noise of the wind. It was peaceful.

But where the hell was she.

Walking towards the window, the sight of acres of farm had her freezing at the sight. Fear gripping her heart. The confusion doubled when she glanced at the mirror. Double taking when she realized what she was wearing. More like who she looked like.

Lorraine.

The character she played in the movie X. But there was no cameras here. There was never a farm where her lived, other than the one in the movie. And this was nothing like it. Lorraine's character never had a room and this one was clearly hers, based off all the pictures. Her eyes stopping at the sight of a beautiful woman with gorgeous y/ec eyes standing close to her character Lorraine. The way those obvious strong arms wrapped around Lorraine shoulders from behind. As they both smiled to camera.

There was more pictures of this y/ec eyed woman.

"What the fuck is happening."

*

The house was empty. But the more she explored the house the more confusion and questions came. Her character Lorraine never had parents, but this one did. She was so confused and she didn't even know where to start to get answers.

"Lorraine? You okay in there? We were supposed to go horse back riding."

The voice was the most gentle spoken voice she had ever heard. This causing her to open the door. Her jaw dropping slightly at the sight of the most beautiful, handsome woman she's ever laid eyes on.

Feeling a warm hand on her cheek, had her leaning towards that warmth subconsciously. Something about this person calmed her, made her feel safe?

"Hey you okay? You're looking a little pale. Let's go lay you down? I could call Wayne, tell them you're not up for that trip?"

"Uh..." She couldn't focus, this persons hands were so soft, she was completely in awe at this woman's beauty.

So was this a dream? A weird dream of a movie she was in, but the person in front of her wasn't in the movie. She was a complete stranger. A beautiful stranger. Back to the said trip was something that ends up killing her.

"You can't say no."

The eerie sound of her own voice talking to her, had her looking away from the girl in front of her. Looking at...her character Lorraine.

"What?" The cowgirl didn't move she was oddly still. Her eyes not even blinking.

"You can't stop what's going to happen."

"You're not real-But I am. This is real. You're not dreamin'. If anything I'm the one who's dreamin'."

"Her name is Y/n. She's beautiful ain't she."

Jenna stood shocked, eyes wide when Lorraine's hand moved to touch Y/n's cheek only for her hand to go through like if she were a ghost.

"What's going on? Where am I? How are you even real?" The questions left her mouth before she could process them.

"Do you believe in the multiverse?"

"No, yes, maybe. I don't know. You're telling me you're from another earth?"

"This may have been a movie for you, but for me, it was real." Lorraine couldn't look away from you. You were as beautiful as the last time she saw you. How she wished she could touch you, kiss you, hug you one more time. She would never let you go.

*

Jenna only blinked and she was no longer at that warm farm house but now she was that familiar cabin. Except now there was no camera crew. No camera, filming equipment other than Owen-RJ's camera and sound equipment. But now here she was getting ready for that scene she films with Sco-Jackson. Except it wasn't Jackson. It was Y/n.

"She was the best I ever had. Not because she knew what she was doing. But because how she made me feel. She made feel so loved. I loved her. More than I could ever love anyone." How Lorraine wished she had more time with you. More time to show you how much she really did love you. You never got a chance to hear her say I love you.

The scene changed before she could see the scene. Watching the after math. How Y/n cared for Lorraine. How the taller girl made sure she was alright. Those y/ec eyes filled with so much love. She never knew someone could look so in love. But then the scene changed again. No longer was she in the cabin but in the kitchen.

Watching as y/n rushed into the kitchen. Getting Lorraine out of the basement. Instead of panicking and running out of the kitchen like she did and getting shot. Y/n was able to calm Lorraine down.

She watched at Y/n put the safety of Lorraine first before her own. Watching as the taller girl was obviously injured as well. As the two hid in the attic, she also watched how you held Lorraine close. How Y/n tried to comfort Lorraine.

The next moments were like in slow motion. How you struggled to keep the attic door closed as Lorraine tried to look for a way out. Her own heart lurched as they barely made out of the window. From the distance she could hear the police quickly approaching. But it had been too late.

The sound of Lorraine crying out, her own arms reaching to catch the tall girl from falling off the roof. It was too late. Watching as Lorraine jumped from the roof as the gun shots rang out. Landing right next to you in pile of hay.

Hearing her cries, begging Y/n to stay awake. Begging, the cries of pure anguish, her own eyes filled with tears.

*

It felt like wipe lash when she blinked again and was in a completely different environment. This time she was in a place that resembled the bar that was back in Massachusetts. She could still feel Lorraine's grief, it made her want to cry out as well. Feeling like she was the one to lose Y/n.

"Hey baby." Mable had came into the bar with a smile, although it was more of a smirk. Hugging someone from behind, Mable's arms wrapping around the person sitting back on the couch shoulders. Before getting on their lap.

She watched as her, doppelgänger? Was this another universe? The confusion came back watching as her character from yet another movie she made was an actual person kiss...Y/n? But yet this Y/n looked different but yet the same. This y/n was dressed a lot more laid back then the cowboy Y/n. Cowboy Y/n had been dressed for farm work.

She could only watch as Mable was a lot more affectionate with Y/n and that was saying something seeing as her character Mable was only affectionate with Toby-Charlie behind closed doors. The smile that Mable had on her face was the same look as the one Lorraine had. The look of pure love.

"How about you and me get outta here?"

The smile on Y/n's face made her blush a bit. The turmoil of emotions she was feeling was giving her wipelash. She just saw a version of this person die. And now this version of the person was smiling and clearly suggesting something...

"Mmh come on. I know the perfect spot."

It felt invasive. She felt like she shouldn't watch this moment. Feeling she was intruding on something that she had no business doing. But the way she saw Mable interact with this Y/n was, something she longed for. But she couldn't get the way Lorraine's Y/n had died out of her head.

~

The scene had changed so drastically, she remembers this scene, even though it wasn't in the movie. How Mable was beat to get information on the drugs. But this time Mable wasn't alone. Y/n had been with her. This Y/n did the exact same thing, the cowboy version of Y/n had done. Risked her own life to protect Mable.

"Stop it! I swear. I swear I don't know where it is!"

Mable cried as she was held down as she watched them beat you. You had tried to fight back but you had been quickly over powered. She could only watch as their fist came down hard on to your face and body.

"Mm I don't know. Seems to me like you're lying."

The sound of the gun clicking had her thrashing hard trying everything and anything to get out of this guys hold.

But it wasn't enough.

"No!! Please! Please!! Stop it! Don't do this please."

"Show her why you shouldn't fuck with me or my money."

The sound of y/n chocking on her own blood had her tears blur her vision, "it's it's okay Mable. It's okay. It's-"

Her eyes widen in shock as the gun shot rang through her ears, the cry leaving Mable's mouth falling on deaf ears as her own hands covered her mouth as she also cried out. Her legs had moved forward without realizing as she had tried to stop the gun men but her hands had gone right through.

Her eyes refusing to looking away from Y/n's unmoving body.

*

She wanted to wake up from this horrible night mare. She didn't even know this Y/n but seeing her die twice already was, too much. The ache, the loss she felt was too much.

But she knew, that this wasn't over. Not when she saw the familiar school. Which meant one thing. This one she could prepare herself for. Hopefully.

School shooting.

"Hey there my precious little Adam Sandler."

The mock scuff which was more of snort of laughter was what the taller girl got in response. Leaning down to kiss those lips.

"Shut up, we should totally ditch."

Y/n’s back was quick to face the shorter girl, crouching down a bit so she could reach. "Hop on my lady."

Jenna watched with a small sad smile. Knowing what was to come. She was still confused, but that last two, it was starting to connect in her own mind. She had two theories. This Y/n was obvious a common factor, someone her cha-doppelgängers cared for.

This time she wasn't surprised when the scene changed. Hearing the soft cries of Vada, Mia and Quinton. The sound of gunshots going off in the distance. The distant noise of the police sirens and shouts followed by more gun shots.

"Y/n, open your eyes. Come on. Please."

Even though she had tried to prepare herself for what she was going to see. No amount of preparations could prepare for what she was seeing.

"Don't leave me. Please." Vada had refused to accept you were gone. Even though she could no longer feel your chest moving. She couldn't help the sobs that left her body.

The pure anguish was too much to bare. She could only watch as the cops came into the bathroom. Faces full of hidden anger, anguish and so many other emotions. They took Mia and Quinton. She watched as the cop checked Y/n's pulse on her wrist and when he got nothing he looked away. Trying to hide his tears.

"I'm sorry kid. She's gone."

Vada shook her head. Pulling you closer. "No, please help her. You have to help her." Your head falling limply on her shoulder. She never felt this type of pain. Her heart felt like it had been torn to shreds.

The police officer looked behind him helplessly. The paramedic that was with him nodded and put her bag down. Doing her job. But the paramedic knew it was no use. The kid was cold to the touch. There was no pulse.

"I'm sorry, but she's gone. There's nothing I can do."

~

"Oh my god Y/n for the last time. I know what I'm doing. I'm eighteen. I'm not a child."

"But Cairo, he's a grown man and married. It's wrong. He's your teacher."

You had found out by accident, having come across them awfully close outside a what appeared to be a library. You were worried, afraid that Mr.Miller was abusing his power as her teacher and making her do things for a better grade. Not that she needed a better grade. Cairo was smart.

"I don't care. I know what I want, if you're here just to complain about my life choices, I think you should leave."

You swallowed the lump in your throat, you hated when Cairo closed off like this. How she always turned in to being so mean when she felt like she was being put in a corner. You didn't want her to feel like that. "Cairo, I just don't want to see you get hurt or taken advantage of."

"I don't need you to keep saving me Y/n. I don't need it."

This one was different from all the others. This one for obvious reasons, her doppelgänger and Y/n weren't romantically involved. This one she could see the hurt look on Y/n's face.

The second Y/n was out of the room, she saw the look of regret wash over Cairo's face.

~

"Come on Cairo, hurry up!" It had been two weeks since your little fight with Cairo. As much as you had been a bit hurt and extremely disappointed, you couldn't control Cairo. If she wanted to be with that man, you couldn't stop it. She was her own person. So you had live with that.

But you had been so close to talking to the principal. The person to stop you had been Winnie. Talking in to not saying anything. In the fear of damaging more of Cairo's reputation and chances at a her preferred college. So that had stopped you.

With the hopes that Cairo would open her eyes and see what that man was doing was wrong, you stepped back. Although, you still kept a close eye.

From the interactions she saw of Cairo and this Y/n, they held back so much emotions it was almost overwhelming. The confusion of the way these two completely ignored their own feelings. In the fear of rejection. How she watched this Y/n, pour her own feelings in letters. Accepting that Cairo would never feel the same way. How you tried your best to move on.

Cairo's story was a bit different than all the others. It angered her so much that Cairo couldn't see how much she had been hurting Y/n.

But she also saw how much Cairo herself had hid her own feelings towards Y/n's. So if obvious when this Y/n started dating her soccer coach, how jealous Cairo had gotten. She watched as Cairo saw reason and started pulling away from Mr.Miller. What she also saw was how angered Mr.Miller had gotten.

The scene changed, she heard the struggle of a fight before anything. Then followed the gun shot, then an echoing silence. Before a gut wrenching sob broke the silence. She couldn't find it in her self to turn the corner to see Cairo. To see Cairo's Y/n dead. Just like the others. She couldn't keep going through this. The pain of it all was too much.

The cries became muffled.

Another y/n lost.

*

"Wednesday?"

That was the voice of Emma Myers. Standing at the entrance of the dorm room was a sad/worried looking Enid. Wednesday stood by a board, a man in his mid thirties in the center of it all. There was no sign of Y/n. Maybe this one was different, maybe-her eyes stopped at the sight of five pictures. Her eyes finding the picture she was scared to find. There she was, Y/n in the nevermore uniform along with the other nevermore students. Under the word victims.

"Y/n wouldn't want this Wednesday.

"Y/n is dead. And I'll make sure she gets the justice she deserves."

~

Jenna had to witness Wednesday's fall into madness. Part of her felt relieved that she didn't have to witness another Y/n's death. But this, this felt worse. To witness the grief, the anger, the need to get the desired revenge in Wednesday. When Wednesday finally found the man, it had been. Worse than she could imagine.

Behind the anger, the grief was always growing. Seeing the way that Wednesday tortured the man. He's cries for mercy going ignored. He's pleas of forgiveness, they were met with even more brutal force. Broken bones, all the blood in the room. It did nothing to fill the emptiness in the Addam's heart. And Jenna knew that.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry won't bring her back."

*

She hated this. She was now somewhere that was a bit more quiet. No sounds of violence. No cries for help. No begging for the other to stay.

"Someone tell me what the fuck is going on?!"

She was tired of seeing this. Seeing her doppelgängers suffer. Losing someone they loved.

"We don't know. But for some reason. Y/n seems to be in the center of it."

Turning around to see Tara. This Tara seemed older. Which was weird. She never really had to try hard to look young. But Tara, she looked like she was in her mid twenties. No longer a high school student. Or a college student.

"Why is this happening? How are you, real?" She was finally talking to one of her chara-doppelgänger. It was something she still couldn't believe. But it was hit more easier to accept. With Lorraine it felt like the girl wasn't talking directly to her but more to herself.

"Your guess is as good as mine."

Jenna took in the appearance of Tara. As well put as she was, Jenna could see the sadness in those eyes. Tara was more mature. She was afraid to ask. Afraid of the answer she would get to the question she already knew the answer to. Every single one of the doppelgängers were different, but they all shared the same look in their eyes.

"Mmh how about you come with me. We could lay under the stars-In Alaska?!" Tara's laugh cut you off. Your own laugh joined hers. You knew how easy Tara got cold. Winter time was always a struggle for the girl.

"We'll be in the proper gear, bundled up nice and warm. Watching the northern lights together." Your arms pulled her closer to you, she was quick to wrap her own arms around your torso. Craving the warmness that you always provided to her.

"She wanted so badly to go to Alaska."

Wanted. Past tense. She let out a soft sigh as she let Tara reminisce. The memory of them changed again. The memories played like a movie.

You stood in the kitchen, ears covered with headphones as she cooked for the group. Tara sat on the counter scrolling on her phone. She had wanted to be in your presence while you cooked but didn't want to bother your deep focus on your craft. She also loved being your little taste tester. The way you would spoon feed her some of the food. How you would stand between her legs, when you had few minutes to spare before you had to return to cooking. Gently rubbing her back as you embraced, it was a peace of quiet and comfort that she always looked forward to.

"Was it ghostface?" Jenna couldn't help but to ask. Tara and Y/n had looked so happy. So at peace.

Tara sighed as her eyes refused to look away from what she was seeing. This memory was one of her favorites. The peace that you brought her had always calmed her in a way no one else could. "Yeah." But she had ruined it.

Of course it was ghostface. She felt stupid that she even asked that question.

*

Jenna stood in the kitchen. The air was tense. It was completely from the comfort and warmth that she felt in the kitchen.

"What? You think I'm just gonna take a knife outta my ass now?" You were fed up. Angry, hurt, feeling betrayed. First they didn't let you go with Anika, cause they wanted to keep their eyes on you and now they refused to even let you speak. You tried so hard to ignore the need to cry. You felt like you were loosing everything.

"So who are you working with. I mean you were obviously in the apartment when the other ghostface was attacking. But now Gale is on the verge of death." Detective Bailey wasn't letting up. If anything he was the one to continue hammering you with questions.

You were tired of defending yourself. So you just stayed quiet. "Got nothing to say?"

"Detective, stop. She hasn't left our side." Tara said from leaning on the wall. Her eyes refusing to meet yours. The little moment you had when she defended you outside the apartment long gone.

Bailey scoffed, "of course she hasn't Tara. It's why there's always a second ghostface. Always someone else to continue killing people while the other plays the victim. Don't think I won't hesitate to put a bullet through your skull if I even see you raise a finger at these girls."

You didn't know what else to do. How else to prove your innocence. Not when no one else believed you and the one person that did was in the hospital fighting for her life. How you wished you had gone with Anika.

"You thought she was ghostface?" Jenna couldn't even believe the words coming out of her own mouth. She felt like she knew where this was going. Seeing the heartbroken and lonely look in those y/ec eyes had been just as gut wrenching.

Tara hated seeing the way she had treated you in your last hours. Seeing you like this again had her heart breaking once again. "I—I was scared."

Jenna wanted to scoff but she bit her lip, "and you think she wasn't?" She couldn't help herself. Seeing this version of Y/n so broken and lonely made her feel so, protective? She always had been protective of the people she loved family, friends. But this type of protectiveness. It was new.

Tara teared her eyes away from you. "I have no excuse. In her final moments, I didn't deserve the love she had for me. I let my fear win over everything I felt for her."

"No he's lying!!" "Please Tara, you have to believe-Oh Y/n they didn't believe you then. They sure won't believe you know. I mean, you always called them your family. But that wasn't the case with you was it? You should have seen them, when you became a suspect. How easy it was to hack your phone, make them believe you didn't answer their calls."

The broken and betrayed look in this Y/n's eyes, had been so immense. Jenna could only watch helplessly once again as a version of Y/n was at a life threatening situation. A death that would be unavoidable.

*

"You let her die, if you'd had just believed her. She would have had better chance at surviving." The words left her mouth before she could stop them. The anger she felt at seeing y/n die once again but this time with the feeling of feeling of being unloved. All the other Y/n's deaths they dead still feeling loved. Scared but loved.

This y/n. This y/n died thinking no one trusted her. That no one loved her enough to believe her. The look in those y/ec eyes made he want to punch Tara. Tara and all the other friends.

"I've seen her die so many different ways. But in all those ways she died with the person who she loved showing her she was loved in her final moments. But you. You at every chance let her down."

"You don't think I know that? You don't think that every day that's passed since she's been gone I haven't blamed myself. I don't know what I was thinking alright! All I felt was fear. Amber did it to me and and the thought of Y/n doing it to me crossed my mind and it stayed." Tara cried in anger. She didn't deserve you. She let her own fear win over and now she lost the one person that she loved the most.

Jenna looked away from Tara, the scene now at a cemetery. The grave with Y/n's name, picture, date of birth with the date of death. The grave filled with flowers.

"She died thinking I didn't love her. It's never left my mind. It's enough for to want to end it. And I know that's selfish. We all lost our Y/n in a brutal way. I think it's why we're here." Tara spoke in a different tone. Her fingers creasing the stone.

"We're all connected to y/n. A different version of y/n, but the same person. I think it's the universes way of saying that maybe one version of ourselves deserves their happiness with Y/n. Maybe it's you."

**^

Jenna woke up with start, feeling nauseated, disoriented, her head was spinning, the ache in her heart was too strong. She wouldn't say she didn't believe in soul mates but, something about this Y/n. To see this Y/n and her doppelgängers love so deeply so purely. But then to see that love be taken away from her doppelgängers. It had been soul crushing. To see the agony, the heartache in their eyes. It affected her as well.

She didn't even know how to find her Y/n, cause that who you were right? Her soulmate. The confusion on why this was happening still remained but it wasn't as much anymore.

"Jenna!? Do you plan to sleep in the whole day?! Come on get up!" The sound of her sisters voice Aliyah, she remembers now being on a long well deserved break. After the success of Beetle Juice 2 and Wednesday season 2. Her manager had her take a good few months off. Granted she still had some interviews and photo shoots to do. But those weren't as draining.

She was back home. Barely a day but yet it felt longer. This made her feel even more confused as she got up and got ready for the day. Stepping out of her shared bedroom. Her mind wondered back to Y/n. She couldn't explain this new sense of loneliness she was now feeling. The love that her doppelgängers shared with their own Y/n.

The love and happiness that they had shared was something she always feared in a way. To love and give yourself to someone like that had always scared her. But what she feared now was finding that love only for it to be taken away from her.

"—most people sell these off grid cabins with all their equipment and other things still here. Because of how deep, the snow gets, getting moving trucks down here is a big no. Also the roads here are all muddy when it's not covered in snow."

Her heart felt like it picked up its pace at the sound of that voice coming from the living room. Turning into the living only to see you on the tv screen. There you were in what looked like a small cabin in the middle of the woods. You were recording yourself with an excited smile on your face.

"Oh check it out, it's a log splitter. And it works! Oh man this will come in handy."

Her eyes couldn't look away. Your smile, your eyes. So full of life and happiness. "Is that—That's Y/n, a YouTuber dad started watching. She's pretty interesting, makes survival hunting fishing all in one videos. So what's your plan...You okay?" She couldn't hear her younger sister talking. All she could focus on was how you looked.

She had to find you. Had to find a way to get to you.

*

You couldn't wrap your head around what happened. Your neck ached from the passion you woke up in. Here you were, at your house in Alaska editing your latest video. You didn't remember falling asleep. But seeing those women suffering in such way had been gut wrenching. The pain they had felt it, you felt. The ache of it all had been so intense, so overwhelming.

You never knew love like that. Feeling like you'd always end dying alone. Always referred as the cool aunt that lives in the middle of butt fuck no where. To have someone love you so deeply, so strongly like that was so bizarre. You didn't even know where to find this person. Jenna Ortega. 

You blinked away the dryness in your eyes. Quickly going on google to type in the name. Your jaw dropping at the sight. There she was as beautiful as ever. A star actress from the hit show Wednesday, age twenty two, big movies such as Scream and Beetle Juice. She was a big star one that was guaranteed hard to get in contact.

*

The sound of knocking on your door grabbed your attention, as you exited your bathroom from taking a shower. You were quick to put on a hoodie, as you hurried to the door. You weren't sure who could it be seeing as your closest neighbors were almost twenty miles away. With the how cold it was outside you knew no vehicle without some strong durability to these roads was going to be out in these conditions.

With the door being pulled open your greetings stayed stuck in your throat. It had been two weeks since that dream. Cause there was no way it could be real, right? Did you take a little chance and follow the actress. Yes. Did you DM her? Yes. But nothing came out of that. So you chucked it up to being a crazy dream. The huge bruise on your left leg, you brushed it off as hurting yourself while you filmed your videos and just never noticed.

Those dark brown eyes looked at you in way that made you feel so exposed. Her gentle smile felt like a spark starting to burn in your chest. A cold breeze and her shivering pulled you from your thoughts.

"C-Come in."

It took a bit longer for her to find you. But thankfully she was Jenna Ortega. She had ways to find people. And she the money to get what she wanted. And what she wanted was to find you. And here you were looking absolutely breath taking. Looking, alive.

The warmness off the house was enough to warm her completely. But the warmness that you brought without even trying was even better.

There was no awkwardness in the room. Just a lingering shyness, words unspoken.

"So it wasn't a dream. Right? I mean that's why you're here, right? It's uh bit crazy you know, I didn't want to believe, not that your not great cause you are but because it's that your so great and incredibly beautiful, uh I just thought it was some weird dream cause l mean I don't really know what I mean I just, oh my god please say something, I can't stop talking. I'm just really nervous all of sudden—Hey take a deep breath."

Her hands had taken your in hers. Your hands had felt so warm and much bigger than hers. She couldn't help but smile, your rambling was so adorable. Making her feel warm inside. It was odd, to feel this comfortable with someone she just met. But yet it felt like she knew you. That feeling that she's felt since she woke up, that emptiness was gone. At the feeling of your hands in her it was like a missing piece in her puzzle.

At the sight of the redness of your cheeks as your breathing settled into a much calmer pace.

"Sorry."

With a squeeze to your hand, "It's okay. I know all this is crazy. And there's no way to actually prove what we experienced."

You didn't say anything on how she kept your hand in hers. You liked the feeling of having her soft small hands holding yours.

"Well seeing as we're still strangers. hi my name is Y/n, a pleasure to meet you."

"Jenna Ortega. The pleasure is all mine."

***

In separate universes, six woman gasped awake. Breathing heavily as tears streamed down their cheeks. The agony that they had to relive was almost too much. As they cried softly to themselves, a noise coming from their side had them snapping their heads to the noise. Only to see their own version of Y/n. Their cries of relief were muffled as they took y/n in.

Sleeping soundly next to them.

Alive.

It had felt so real.

Y/n had survived the attack of those crazy old people.

Y/n had survived vicious beating of those drug dealers. The sound of the gun shot had hit the cabinet door behind her.

Y/n had survived the school shooting. Barely making it.

Y/n had survived the poisonous bullets.

Y/n had survived the psycho that was Jonathan Miller. Finding a way to be with Cairo.

Y/n had survived the ghostface attacks. Working to repair the broken trust with Tara.

You had survived.

:)

[lilbitdepressed27]

Alcina Dimitrescu/Fem!Reader

Summary: One where you get bit by a spider after breaking up with your long time girlfriend and only running into her again after saving her daughter years later. Break up between you and Alcina happened when you both were 17 (You got bit by the spider at 17, you save one of Alcina's daughters at the age of 25.) she doesn't know about your powers also the suit in using in this is the armored advanced suit from the play station Spider-Man.

Warnings: angst, violence(only a little), open ending(kinda)

WC: 8.5k

Author’s note: this one has been finished for quite a while now, hope you guys enjoy:) I’m also still working on some requests don’t know when those will be done tho. I missed the tall boob lady

*

You had been spending most of your time swinging through the city. Helping where you could. Today had been great so far. You had rescued a kitten from a tree. Helped a lovey elderly woman across the busy streets of New York. Assisted the police in a car chase. Helped a little girl with her science project. And you finally got your project approved at your place of work. Which happened to be the Heisenberg Industries. You had interned there while you were in college and it had been something you had fallen in love with. Making things, building things had been something you always loved doing. It's how you build your amazing spider suit.

At the age of 25 you were set. Well mostly set. The job payed great. It was an easy job. Mostly, it didn't interfere with your other job. Even if most times it made you too busy for a social life. You only had a few contacts on your phone. One for work and the other for a great detective named Jill Valentin. She called you only when it was urgent. Or sometimes you called her when you were finished doing some ass kicking. You had made sure your phone could in no way be tracked.

You smiled as you sat at edge of a building, letting you feet dangle as you relaxed. That was until your police scanner, voiced out in your suit.

"Attention units we had reports of a possible kidnapping. Report to Greenwich ave. Victim is a 5 year old girl, red hair wearing a yellow flowered dress, suspects car is a grey sedan."

"That's close by." You jumped off the building, swinging towards the last location. There was way too many grey sedans around the area for you to know which one was the right one.

"Good thing my mask can zero in on muffled noises."

You jumped down on to the busy street. The noises in your mask leading you to an abandoned parking lot. You saw a car and the muffled noises were becoming clearer and clearer by the step.

"I want my mommy." A little girls voice cried. You moved quickly, ripping the trunk door off the car with your Spidergirl strength. At the sight of a little girl tied up your anger spiked. The tears streamed down her face. Breaking your heart in the process.

"Hey it's okay. I got you."

The little red head looked at you with wide eyes. You cut off the rope tying her wrists and ankles together.

"S-Spidey?"

"Yea it's me kiddo. You're safe now. I gotcha." She seemed to relax just a bit but she was still crying. She wrapped her arms around your neck and you picked her up from the car. "No one has called me that before. Maybe that could be your little nickname for me. How does that sound?"

"Rreally?" She hiccuped as she pulled away whipping her tears with a her hand balled up.

"Oh yea of course. It could only a nickname you could call me. What's your name that way I can give you a nickname."

"Daniela! My-My name is Daniela." She finally smiles at you. Her breathing settling just a bit, little hiccups escaping her lips.

"Mm Daniela that's a sweet name. Okay how about Lil D. SpideyDani." At the mention of SpideyDani you saw how her eyes lit up. You chuckled behind your mask as she nodded excitedly. "Okay SpideyDani how about I get you back to your-Oh no the bad men are back. Please don't let them take me." Her little cry of pure fear cut you off her breathing once again picking up.

You turned around to see a group of men coming towards you. Your hold the toddler tightening just a bit.

"Okay SpideyDani, I'm going to put you in the car with my friend spider bot. He'll protect you while I go kick some butt." The spider on your chest detached it self and climbed on top of Daniela. She giggled as you whipped her tears. The spider resting on the toddlers shoulder.

"I'll be right back. He'll keep you safe." With a nod from the toddler. You smiled behind your mask and shut the door.

"Well fellas. I gotta say I'm disappointed. A little girl? Really? Not cool."

There was a total of seven men, five of them with melee weapons and the other two with hand guns.

"Give us the kid Spider freak."

"That little brat will win us a load of money."

"Enough talk." One of the men with a gun raised it but you were faster. Shooting your webs and ripping it out of his hands. You moved quickly, webbing him up to the side of a car. Dodging a pipe that swung towards you. You ripped the the gun out of the hands of the other kidnapper and pulled him forcefully towards you and into a punch. Knocking him out cold.

Two down. Five to go.

Taking down the rest of the kidnappers was a walk in the park. Nothing you couldn't handle. Once everything was done with, you let out a huff and went back to the car. You called it in before actually getting to the car. You wanted this douche bags to pay for the trauma they caused the little girl. You opened the door and Daniela jumped into your arms, the spider going back to your chest.

"Hey it's okay SpideyDani. You're safe now." She held you tighter as you took her out of the car. Your spider bot going back on to the center of your suit.

"I want my mommy."

"I'll take you to your mommy. Hold on tight okay."

*

You had swung slow and carefully towards the police station where you heard over your police scanner that mother of the Daniela was at. Once you got there you were confused on why there were so many reporters there. There was a small barrier keeping the reporters away from the main entrance to the building. You landed gently in front of the building and made your way in. You didn't get five steps in before you heard Daniela cry out.

"MOMMY!!"

You looked up and felt your heart stop at the sight of the woman in front of you. You watched as the woman tuned around her eyes welling up with tears as she ran towards you. Her eyes that were filled with anger and concern were now filled with relief.

"Daniela!"

You put Daniela down once she started to move in your arms. You watched as the little girl ran to the woman you once called your lover. Although you had tried to burry it. Ignore the heart break this very woman that stood in front of you, had left you in. She had broken up with you, had left you with out a reason, an explanation on why. Nothing. She had just left. Seeing her now, had made all your buried feelings to resurface. She had grown into a beautiful woman, her once long hair was now just above shoulder length. Her beautiful blue eyes still shinned like they did before. Her features were just beautiful as before just mature, older.

"Thank you Spider-Girl. Thank you. Thank you. You brought my little girl back to me."

You were brought out of your thoughts as she addressed you. You cleared your throat. Feeling the lump in your throat that had started to form.

"Of course ma'am. It was the right thing to do."

At the sound of your voice, you watched as she snapped her gaze towards you. Her eyes burned into your eyes. You knew she couldn't see your eyes but it felt like she could. You saw the furrow of her eyebrows as she looked at you. She can't tell it's me right? There's no way.

"Well I'm glad little SpideyDani is safe and sound. Now I must be off." The little girl beamed at you from her mothers arms.

"Bye bye Spidey."

You chuckled as you waved goodbye. But before you could actually leave a hand shot out to you. Grabbing the inside of your elbow. You looked down at the hand and felt your heart break all over again at the sight of a wedding ring.

"I'm sorry ma'am but I really must be off." And like that you left. Hoping to never run into her again. Even if part of you wanted to see her again. It you knew, with this lifestyle it was dangerous.

*

You couldn't believe it. Alcina was just as beautiful as the last day you saw her. Maybe even more beautiful if that was possible. You hadn't seen or even heard from her in almost eight years and a half. The only thing you knew after the break up (it was more of her just leaving with out a word) was that she had moved away. And that was it. Never to be seen or heard from, up until now. You even tried to call her but your number never got through. Your messages and voicemails left unread and unheard. Going as far as trying to reach her little sister, Donna or her little brother Salvatore. But it was no use.

"Y/n there you are. I just wanted to say that your recent project has made quite a difference already." You beamed at your boss who came into  your work station. You shook away the thoughts of your ex lover and directed your attention to your boss. You had known him for almost six years now. Even though you didn't really know much of his personal life he was still like a great mentor for you.

"The stocks are shooting up, which means more money for the company, more money for you and most importantly more money for me. But seriously, great work kid. The city thanks you. Now I have a dinner date with the family. You are free to go for the day. Celebrate kid. You deserve it." Karl patted your back as he smiled down at you. He knew from the moment you stepped foot into his building you'd do great things. And the years you have worked for him, you haven't let him down.

"Thanks sir. I already have more ideas I'd like to show you." You pulled out your notebook but was stopped by his hand.

"I said take the day kid, I'd love to see your ideas but after you get some rest and put that big brain of yours to rest. Now go before you make me late for my dinner. And for the last time it's Karl."

"Okay have fun with your family dinner."

"Doubt it. My sister is coming and I haven't really seen her for quite awhile. Well, I'll see you later kid."

*

She sat at the dinner table with her daughters, mother, sister, her sister's daughter and her younger brother. They were just now waiting for her older brother. Karl. She had been close with all her siblings except him. Even when she was a child. Karl had spent most of his time with their father. Who lived in Romania. Her parents had divorced when she was young. So she hardly ever saw Karl. Up until recently when she had grown somewhat close to her brother.

But as she sat at the table with her family. Her thoughts drifted to Y/n. Her past lover. The only person she ever loved. Who she still loved. Even after all these years. She had never regretted something more than when she had to leave you. When she had to break your heart in order to keep her own family safe. It was something she regrets. It was something she'll regret to the day she'll die.

But her mind drifted to the hero of New York. She never really thought of her. She knew her daughters loved Spider-Girl. She knew Spider-Girl had been around for quite a while know. But she never really thought about it until now. That voice. She could have recognized it anywhere. But it had been so long. But that voice.

Looking back when the spider first appeared had been around the same time you had started acting strange. You had become more secretive. You always had new bruises and cuts on you. You had always blamed it on your clumsiness. And her being the idiot she was. She had believed you. She had known you for five years before you started dating. She knew how clumsy you were. There was no reason to doubt you. But looking back she should have paid attention more.

Could you be Spider-Girl?

She almost wanted to laugh at how insane it sounded. Cause there was no chance. She was delusional.

"Sorry I'm late, had some business to take care of. Hello girls."

"Hello uncle Karl." Were heard from the four toddlers at the table. The older man smiled and greeted his siblings and mother.

"Uncle Karl I met Spidey!"

Karl looked at his youngest niece and smiled. He still felt anger for what his niece went through. If it weren't for Spider-Girl, he didn't know where Daniela would be right now. The men that had taken her were going to be in jail for a long time. He made sure of it. But so did his sister. Alcina had made sure they never saw light as free men again.

"Oh really. That's awesome kiddo. I heard she's super fast."

"Oh yea uncle Karl super super fast. She was kicking butt while her spider buddy was with me and protecting me." Daniela gushed, her trauma of being kidnapped being over looked by her experience with Spider-Girl. Daniela had told her sisters on how Spider-Girl had taken her swinging and how spider buddy had kept her entertained while you kicked butt.

"I can't believe those-Mother please. Not in front of the children." Alcina cut off her mother. Knowing very well how angry Miranda was when she heard of what happened to Daniela. Her mother took a deep breath to calm herself and nodded.

The waiter showed up to the table and took everyone's order. The four children kept on talking about Spider-Girl. While the adults spoke about Donna's garden center, Salvatore about his job as a doctor, Alcina with her wine business and Karl with his business.

"Oh yeah business was great. A worker of mine has the brain of a genius I swear she's coming up with inventions after inventions. With everything that she comes up with I think I'm gonna have to change the name to hers." He said proudly. He felt like a proud father any time he got the chance to speak of you. In his forty years of living he never met a worker like you. You were more than just a employee to him at this point.

"Oh yes I'm so proud of you and your company Karl. Everyone I'm so proud of everyone." The older woman gushed about her kids. The adults around the tabled smiled at their mother.

Alcina was trying to focus on her little brother Salvatore talk, she really was but her mind kept on drifting to you. She wondered what you were doing now. You were twenty five now. Eight full years without seeing you, hearing your voice. The times you two would cuddle in her bed. After all these years she was still in love with you. Your voice was something that was engraved in her mind and heart.

"Mommy when can I meet Spider-Girl?" Alcina looked towards her middle child and smiled. Her two eldest girls have been wanting to meet Spider-Girl since Daniela had been saved by the hero.

"I don't kn-I actually have someone who works for me that knows Spider-Girl." Karl said gathering the attention of all his nieces. He couldn't help but laugh at the sight of four hopeful and pleading looks.

"Please uncle Karl. Please. Please." The four children pleaded.

"Oh I don't know, your moms have told me that you've been bad girls. Not putting your toys away. Not finishing your homework-WWHAT?!"

Now the five adults laughed at the tiny outraged faces looking at their mothers. "That's not true! Uncle Karl I put all my toys away before we came, right mama." The tiny five year old said. Donna chuckled towards her daughter.

"That's right sweetheart."

"I'll have to ask my friend Y/n if it's okay with Spider-Girl. I hear she's really busy."

At the sound of your name leaving her older brothers lips her head snapped towards him and then her mother. Who was already looking at her.

Miranda had known about you since you and Alcina were kids. She saw how in love her daughter was with you. She saw it in everything her daughter did. The smile Alcina would have every morning, knowing that you would always send her daughter a good morning text. The way her daughter would talk about you. The love her daughters eyes held any time she looked at you.

She had always liked you for her daughter.

But the moment her ex husband came back into the picture was when everything came crashing down. She had tried everything to save her daughter from her own father. But everything had happened too fast.

She saw the happiness leave her daughters eyes the moment she was told the news.

Thankfully, now her daughter was divorced. Getting away from that man after everything. Being able to take her granddaughters away from the crazed man had been such a blessing. From the moment they were taken from their homes and taken back to Romania, they fought tooth and nail. But she had forgotten how powerful her ex husband truly was. So they had to bid their time.

After the birth of Salvatore, she herself had gotten away from her ex husband. Successfully getting away from that man, the moment Karl had turned eighteen she had helped him escape. And when she was fit to travel she divorced her ex husband and never looked back. When her ex husband died it had been a blessing in disguise. That had truly helped them in getting away from Alcina's husband. With her ex husband no longer alive the deal between her ex husband and ex son in law was no more.

Her family was no longer in danger between the two mafia bosses.

"Y/n? As in Y/n Y/ln?" Alcina her voice cracking just bit. Her eyes shinned with hopefulness and eagerness.

Karl looked at his younger sister confused. He had no clue Alcina knew you. He knew you were way too awkward to talk to any attractive lady. And he wasn't blind his sister may have been a brat but she was an attractive woman. There was no way you knew his sister. He's seen how you react around anyone really. If it wasn't about business you'd always keep to yourself. Which is why he'd always be the one to present your work to the public. It was never you.

"Uh yea. I didn't know you knew Y/n. She works for me. A great kid. She has a bright future ahead of her. That's for sure. I'll talk to her girls. I'm sure she can pull some strings but no promises okay."

The girls excitedly giggled with each other.

Alcina was left thinking about you. How she was coming closer to seeing you, after so long she was going to see you again.

**

"Hey aunt May, hey uncle Ben. Sorry I haven't visited you guys. It's been busy. My project got accepted and it's been doing the city good. I have a few other projects in line. Hopefully they do just as well. Um you're not gonna believe who I saw today." You sat on the grass after setting down the flowers at each grave. Ever since losing your aunt may last year, you had been throwing your self into work. Spider work and your actual paying job.

"I saw Alcina, she's just as gorgeous as the last time I saw her. Even more gorgeous now if that's possible. Is it bad that I want to talk to her? I mean she left me, she's married now. Has a little girl." You felt your eyes fill with tears. The emptiness in your heart grew. Feeling stupid and foolish for thinking that maybe one day Alcina would come back to you.

"She's happy. She's moved on. I think it's about time I do it to. Right? Well I-" At the sound of sirens blaring near by, you knew it was time to work. The city never slept, it was New York after all. You stood up from your position, looking down at the two grave stones. "I know I'll be careful aunt may. I'll be back soon." You put on your mask and went to work.

*

You were a little sore the following day. Going into work a little later than usual. You had called Karl of course, he understood and said you could come in at any time. So it was a little later than usual when you did arrive at work. Making your way to your lab, but before you could you were stopped.

"Y/n Mr.Heisenberg wants you to go to his office." Karl's assistant spoke from her desk.

"Okay thanks Ethan."

*

Walking into the office you had not been prepared to see four little girls in the office.

"Oh are you Y/n?!" A little girl with her black hair spoke. You swallowed the lump in your throat. The little girl was a spitting imagine of Alcina. So Alcina has two little girls.

"Uh yes, I am."

"Y/n do you know Spidergirl? My uncle Karl said you do." A girl with dirty blonde hair said as she now stood next to the little girl that looked like Alcina. But then another girl approached, this one you did recognize. Daniela.

"Yes. I've spoken to her a few times." You couldn't help but chuckle at the excitement on the four little girls.

"Can we meet her please, please!"

You couldn't help be startled just a bit at how the four spoke simultaneously. A laugh rang out in the room. You looked away from the four girls to see your boss standing there.

"Sorry Y/n, I may have mentioned that you knew Spidergirl last night, they begged me to bring them in with me today." The only reason he knew you knew Spidergirl was because he had walked into your lab at a late hour only to see you upgrading Spidergirl's suit. It was no wonder Spidergirl's suit and equipment were so unique. It was cause you built them for the hero. He understood why you had to keep it a secret. Spidergirl's enemies would go after you if they knew. And since he cared deeply about you and your safety he kept his mouth shut.

"Well I'm only supposed to call her when it's an emergency." You tried to escape this situation. It's not that you didn't want to, but you didn't really want to be known for being "friends" with Spidergirl.

"Pleaseplease."

But you were always a sucker for her pout. It was even worse now seeing it on three little girls faces. Well turns out Alcina has three girls.

She must be really happy. 

"Okay I'll call her, but if she's busy. You girls have to understand okay?"

The girls squealed in excitement as they nodded.

*

You walked into your bosses office again through the balcony window but this time dressed in your spider suit. You had left to make the "phone call".

"Spidergirl!" The four little girls cheered and ran to you.

"Hi guys!" This time you came prepared with a slight voice changer. Not wanting Karl to recognize your voice. The girls didn't mind as they were too happy to see spider-girl. "Well I can't stay long but my friend said that she wanted to meet some people. And Spidey-Dani, happy to see you again buddy."

The beaming smile on Daniela was the absolute cutest. "I'm super happy to see you to Spidey. This is my sisters Bela and Cassandra, this is my cousin Angie."

"Nice to meet you, I'm Spider-girl."

The girls giggled the smiles never whipping away from their faces. "We know Spider-girl."

You also let out a short laugh, "As much as I would love to stay here and chat with you guys I-" And as if god was hearing you the loud sound of police sirens was heard. "Duty calls. It was nice to meet you."

And like that you were gone.

*

Working back in your lab was all you needed. It was quiet, the only sound being from what ever you working on and the low sound of the music being heard. It was the great atmosphere that you just always got work done. The sound of the doors being slid open was heard.

"Mr.Heisenberg, I'm not even close to being finished, and this is like the fifth time you've checked up on me. It's not gonna get done any quicker." You didn't even look away from your work. You continued your work on a device that could help with the patients that suffered from a loss of a limb. The device could help them with the pain and make them feel like their missing limb was still there without the pain.

It was still a work in progress.

When you didn't hear anything in return, you knew you weren't in danger. Seeing as your Spidey senses didn't go off. You set your equipment down and turned around. Freezing in your seat at who you saw. A part of you, a small part, the hurt part, hated her. Hated that she moved on so easily. Hated that she threw you away like you were nothing. Like the love you shared was nothing. Yet it wasn't love, was it? Not for her. You had been so sure she wasn't going to try to see you. That she wouldn't want to see the person she left behind all those years ago. But yet here she was, in all her glory.

"The lab is closed. You can't be in here." You finally found your voice. Swallowing the lump and hoping your face held no emotions. You didn't want to see her (yes you did) didn't want to hear about how happy she was with her daughters and husband. You turned back around to face your table.

"Y/n, please. I just want to talk-Well I can't I'm working on the clock. Please leave the same way you came in." You said your voice never wavering. You couldn't allow her back in. Not just because of what she did to you, but also due to what you did on your free time. Being Spidergirl had its sacrifices. Huge sacrifices. You had no friends. No love life....No family left. No one to put in danger. Not after losing Aunt May. You wouldn't allow

Your self to get attached only to lose them.

Aunt May's death was your fault.

"Y/n I know you're hurt, you have every right to be. But if you would just allow me to explain my-Mrs.Dimitrescu, is that still your last name? I'm busy. There's nothing to talk about. Now please. Leave me alone."

Alcina stood there with barely concealed tears as she looked at the back of your head. She didn't know what she was going to expect but it's wasn't this. She was foolish to think that you would hear her out. The hurt in your eyes when they first laid on her. You had not been surprised to see her. Meaning you had already known she was in town.

She wasn't going to give up.

She'd be damned.

*

After a long day at the lab you finally clocked out. Leaving the building the regular way and not the window. The city was quiet petty crimes, crimes that police could handle. So you had continued your work on your project. Deciding to ignore the little encounter with Alcina. You could ignore it, till it really was the only thing you could think of. Pushing it to the back of your mind.

"Y/n."

So much for pushing it to the back of your mind. You tried to ignore the voice. The voice that still sent shivers down your spine. After all these years. The love you had for her was still there.

"Y/n please. Just give me ten minutes of your time."

"Well I wasn't even worth that much to you. Not a call, text, nothing. So why would I give you ten minutes of my time. I don't want to talk Alcina. Not now. Not ever. You moved on. I moved on. The end. There's nothing to talk about." You were bitter. But you were also doing what needed to be done. She had kids. Children that needed her. Being in your life would only bring danger and pain to her. And you didn't want that.

"Go back to pretending I don't exist. You're good at doing that." With that you walked away. Trying your best to ignore the heart broken look she casted your way. You were doing this for her. To keep her safe.

*

Alcina had cried a few times. She cried when you both were only thirteen and you had fallen off a tree and broken your arm after returning a baby bird back to its nest. She cried when you first confessed your love to her at the age of fifteen. She cried when you first said I love you. She cried and cried when she was forced out of her home by her father without much as a say. Cried she was forced to leave you with no chance of a goodbye. Cried when she was forced to marry a random man. Cried when she had to bare his children.

Now she was crying for the love she truly lost. You didn't even want to see her. The closed off look in your eyes was hard to miss. She knew she broke your trust. Broke your heart. But you had always been one to give someone at least a chance to explain.

"Mother told me how you know Y/n." Karl saw the heart ache in his sisters eyes when she got home. He always knew his father was greedy selfish bastard. He had left his father's side the moment he turned eighteen. Refusing to ever see that man. The moment he left. He never saw him again. Didn't even bother going to his funeral when the old man died a year ago. He had helped Alcina get out of the marriage she had been forced in. That man had not been a good husband and even worse dad to his nieces. He had done a few things to that man to make him sign the divorce papers and give up his rights as the father to the girls.

He would have never thought that the kid, sweet, shy Y/n had his sister like this.

"What's it to you Karl?" She drank her wine as she looked out her window in her office at home.

"Y/n's closed off Alcina. She keeps everyone at arms length and there's a reason for that." He sat back in his chair. Remembering what happened.

Alcina turned her chair back to Karl. "What do you mean?" The worry clear in her voice.

"A year ago, during those attacks by that crazed doctor. He attacked a F.E.A.S.T center. a center Y/n's aunt was in, so was Y/n. Aunt May didn't make it. Y/n was lucky to have survived. And a few others but Aunt May...She's been alone for the past year. She hardly talks to anyone. Barely talks to me. And she has no friends no living family relatives."

Alcina took everything in. Her heart breaking for you. "Wait, what about her uncle?"

"Oh he was killed in a store robbery, four years ago."

Alcina felt her heart break even more. You were alone. Spent the past almost five years alone. It was no wonder you were so closed off. Everyone left you, given aunt may and uncle Ben weren't by choice. It hadn't been her choice either. But you didn't know that.

She needed to fix this.

*

You sat on the cold floor, fresh flowers sat in front of the two grave stones. Never had you felt so alone. You missed your uncle and aunt like crazy. Wishing on every star you could have one more moment with them. You wished you could hear your uncle and aunt give you the advice you so desperately needed.

You didn't notice you were crying till you felt the familiar warm arms wrap themselves around your shoulders bringing your back close to her chest. Causing you to cry even more. Everything rushing out. The hold on you grew tighter.

"I'm sorry draga. Words could not express how sorry I am."

Her voice was right by your ear. Soft and gentle words ringing in your ears. Her voice always tended to calm you down. You moved to get out of her hold but you felt her tighten her hold.

"Please don't. Don't go. Not without letting me explain what happened. Please let me explain and then you can go, I won't stop you."

With a sigh, you gave a slight nod. You didn't realize how much you missed being in her arms. Her hugs had always been so warm.

"I was taken from my home by my father. He had forced me and my mother along with my siblings out and took us back to Romania in the same night. If I had a choice I would have stayed. I would have gone to you. He made me leave everything. I wasn't even able to pack a bag. My father forced me to marry this filthy man thing, I had no choice. It took me too long to get out of that situation. It helped that my sorry excuse of a father died of a sudden heart attack last year. Divorced my husband the same day with the help of Karl."

You took everything in. You didn't know much of her father onto that he had separated from mother Miranda when her Donna was a baby. Donna was the youngest out of the four of them.

Finally gathering yourself you pulled away from her embrace, standing up as you also helped her up. You cleared your throat as you looked down at your joined hands. The hand that once had an engagement ring along with a wedding ring was now bare. You couldn't. You can't.

So you let go of her hand. "I'm sorry you had to go through that Alcina. It's terrible. I'm..." You weren't sure what you were supposed to say. You felt horrible for what she went through. You love alcina with all your heart. She was the only woman you ever really loved. But the fear of her being put in danger just by talking to you was enough to put halt to anything. You let out a deep breath.

Hands gently cupped your face making you look into her beautiful blue eyes. Those eyes that looked at you like you were both still seventeen. Making you feel even more guilty. "I still love you Y/n. More than anyone. I've never stopped. You have always been my other half."

You pulled away from her, "I'm sorry. I—I don't love you anymore. I've moved on. This is goodbye." You didn't give her a chance to speak. You turned and walked away. You would rather be alone than to put her in danger.

She has kids to think about.

*

Being Spider girl could not be harder at times like this. It has been a week since you last spoke to Alcina. Taking the the long awaited vacation time you saved up. With the approval of Karl of course. He had always said you deserved a break. And this time you actually listened.

With no worry about your actual paying job you focused more on being Spidergirl. It was hard. You could wipe the heart break on Alcina's face.

It was the right thing to do.

"All units, prisoners form the raft are on the loose. Reports of Electro, Rhino, Scorpion, Vulture, Martin are on the loose."

With that, you were back to work. Moving quickly towards the raft. You had stopped them before. So doing it now should be a cake walk.

*

It was in fact not a cake walk. Never did you have to face five of your arch enemies at the same time. Your body hurt. You were bruising in places you couldn't see. Bloodied. Most of your suit was torn. But thankfully your mask was still in tact. You were able to stop rhino. Thankfully. Scorpion and Vulture were a bit more difficult cause they had decided to work together. But with your own powers and smartness you stopped them as well. Electro, you threw his ass in the water and placing a power dampener around his neck, you were the only one that would be able to take it off.

Martin had escaped the moment he had the chance.

"Can you hear me Spidergirl."

The chilling voice of your old friend Otto Octavius. His voice sounding throughout your mask.

"You can hear me. I have something of yours. Why don't you meet me. Meet me where it all began."

*

Your mind raced, trying to figure out what he could possibly have. The old building where you used to work for a brief time before your internship with Heisenberg. Otto was an old friend. Someone who gave you a shot. But he had been so driven by revenge.

The building was empty, there was no signs of anyone being in the building. When your Spidey senses went off you dodged the mechanical arm that shot your way. You fought fast and hard. But these tentacle arms were faster and stronger. They were clearly upgraded as well.

"Oh now spider, what's wrong? Have you been slacking since the last time I saw you.?" His arms held down your body holding it tightly preventing you from moving.

"Otto, this isn't who yo-Shut up, don't you ever get tired of repeating the same thing every single time. Now look who I have here. Our guest."

One arm moved to turn on the lights, your heart halting at who you saw tied to a chair. Mouth covered with tape. "Let her go! She has nothi-That's where you're wrong."

Alcina didn't know what was going on, why she was here. She had remembered leaving Karl's building feeling dejected. He had informed her that you had taken a temporary vacation. She couldn't just let you go. Not when you were clearly suffering. She could see it your eyes. Your eyes never lied, and you were in clear pain. She'll make it right. But before she could get to her car she had been taken.

Now she was here watching this old man fighting with Spidergirl. The frightening thought that the girl behind that mask was you was pushed back to the front of her mind. Seeing Spidergirl get punched and kicked down. The suit had been torn and ripped when she had arrived.

"She has everything to do with this. Due to the fact that you care about her. Ugh why don't we just show her so she understands."

The mask was torn off Spidergirl. The familiar y/hc hair flowed down her face as Spidergirl tried to hide her face.

"Don't be shy now." Otto grabbed a fist full of hair forcefully pulling your head back. You heard the muffled gasp. You looked into the blue eyes they held so much concern and anger. You weren't sure if that anger was directed at you or Otto.

"Y/n here has tired very hard to keep her identity a secret. Tried hard not to trust the wrong person. What did that cost you last time y/n? Aunt May? How is she?"

You tried hard to escape the arms but they only tightened. Making it hard for you to breathe. Your eyes burned with tears, "oh are you gonna cry? Your friend here hasn't been in the city for a month and her daughter has already been kidnapped. Why you may ask? Well let me answer. You! It's always your fault Y/n. That's why everyone leaves you."

Alcina succeeded in cutting the rope trying her hands together. Mentally thanking Karl for the small knife in her bracelet. She didn't know how to help you, but she needed to make sure you didn't believe the words coming from that psychopath. She saw the bright light behind the man's neck. She could take good guess that, that was what controlled the arms.

With how distracted the ex doctor was, it was a lot easier to sneak up to the doctor.

You tried to not look at Alcina. To not give her away as Otto kept on talking. You tried to keep his attention on you. Including his arms.

"It was your fault Otto. Heisenberg Industries did everything you couldn't do. Save lives. Change lives. You were too...pathetic. Too weak to take the chances you had." One of the arms wrapped around your neck. One arm was still wrapped around your body as his two other arms held him up.

With all his attention on you, it was enough for Alcina to sneak up behind him.

"You dare disrespect me Y/LN!!?" He had become red in face from how angry he was. His arm tighten around your chest. A silent chocked yell of pain. You felt two of your ribs cracking. "After everything you-No!" You fell hard to the ground along with Otto. His four arms also making him useless with the chip not working.

Alcina was quick to punch the old man and living him unconscious. Rushing to you when she heard you groan. "Y/n! You have to stay still." Your face was covered in scratches, blood and already forming bruises. Your suit was torn, parts of your body were just as cut and bruised. She had been forced to watch how Spidergirl had been brutally beaten by those villains. To now know for certain that it was her Y/n. You under that mask...seeing your eyes refusing to look at her, but she could always read you well. Those y/ec eyes that were red from being chocked but also red from holding in tears.

"You have to go." You bit your lip in pain as you moved to stand up. Refusing to look at her. You tried pushing away her hands as you painfully picked up your mask. Putting it back on as it still did its job at keeping your identity a secret.

You thanked the gods above as the cops stormed the building. "Spidergirl, thank you for the help, we got it from here." Not letting Alcina get to you as you were soon leaving alcina in the safety of the police officers. Otto being taken by the swat team.

*

You were in a great amount of pain. You were in your underwear and sports bra, trying your best to clean your wounds up. But you couldn't. You couldn't reach the wound on your back, you were on floor of your bathroom with a first aid kit open. The supplies scattered on the floor.

Alcina now knew your deepest secret. She hadn't been back for a month and she now knew. You remembered the look on her face when Otto had taken off your mask. The shock, disbelief in her eyes. You had looked away the moment your eyes connected to her blue ones. You had tried so hard to make sure no one knew, Otto was the only one to know and look how that turned out. Otto had become a different person and got lucky in finding out.

You knew (or hoped at least) Alcina wasn't like that. Granted you haven't seen Alcina in years.

A sound coming from outside the bathroom caught your attention. You didn't have the energy to fight off anyone. The sound of heels clicked frantic, like the intruder was looking for something. You groaned as you tried to stand up, arms shaking. But it had been no use. Your arms had become completely jelly.

The door to the bathroom was pushed open.

*

Alcina had found her own way to find you. It had been easy, it was just her luck that you  still lived in your aunt Mays home. The house had been just as the same as she last saw it, just with a few new additions to it. Thankfully you still hid the spare key in the flower pot.

Right after she had given her statement to the police officers she had left straight to you.

The house had its own little differences, but it still brought her the same warmth it did before. Pictures of aunt May and Uncle Ben still hung around the living room. She didn't have time to look at every single new picture that hung the walls. Not when the image of your being badly hurt was still fresh in her mind.

Your room had a bathroom connected to it. And her feet took her directly to the room she spent so many hours in. Finding the torn spider suit on the floor the blood droplets leading to the bathroom. Finding you on the floor of the bathroom, in only your undergarments. Bloody bandages scattered on the floor as first aid kit laid open.

She was quick to get to you. Ignoring your weak attempts to push her away. She had her own experience on bandaging up wounds. Being forced to marry a mafia boss, she had also been forced to help his friends when they were wounded.

Cleaning you up was slow, you had needed stitches on many of the deep cuts. "No, I'll heal. Just takes time." Your voice had sounded raspy, it was the first thing you've said to her since she's got here.

Her hands hovered over the deepest wound of them all the needle only inches away. "Are you current?"

A low groan escaped your lips, "yes, can you just cover it with a bandage." She did as you asked once she was completely finished she moved to help you up. Careful not to touch any of your wounds. She lead you back to your bed, helping you lay down.

"He was wrong, Y/n." She whispered. She knew you wouldn't believe her. But she had to try and she will continue to tell you till you believed her. "Aunt May wouldn't have left you if she was giving the choice. You know that. Same with Uncle Ben."

You felt your eyes fill with tears at the mention of aunt May. "I had the cure, the cure to fix her. But if she had taken it, there would have been more deaths. I was going to give it to her." You squeezed your eyes tight remembering clearly how weak your aunt had gotten. She had gotten weak so fast. "She didn't let me. Refused the cure. I let her die. It was my fault, she-Wouldn't want you to blame yourself. It wasn't your fault Y/n."

Her fingers gently ran through your hair. Something she had always done to help you center yourself. Feeling the moment your shoulders dropped as you silently cried. "I'll keep telling you till you accept it. I'm not leaving your side Y/n, no matter how hard you true to push me away. I'm here to stay."

Fear gripped your heart like never before. The fear of something happening to Alcina or her daughters. The guilt would be too much, it would-"Stop. I can take care of myself. I can hold my own."

She saw the conflict in your eyes. She couldn't imagine how lonely you had been, how you refused to let anyone in. In fear of being held responsible for the harm one might go through. In fear of the guilt growing.

"I'm not leaving your side, that's a promise."

*

When you woke the next morning, it the ache and soreness in your muscles had doubled before they could lower. It was a pain you were used to. The room was empty but you could faintly hear noises down stairs. The memory of alcina being in your house was pushed to the front of your mind.

Her promise to never leave your side.

Getting up from your bed had been bit of a struggle. Your bathroom had been cleaned the bandages. The blood that once stained the tiles cleaned, the bathroom no longer looking like their had been a small blood bath. You made slow work in freshening up. You felt your body releasing its tension as you showered.

The healing process was always different, after long fights especially a fight with a bad guy with enhanced suits or sometimes powers. Healing always last up to a day. Most of the scratches you had healed but deeper wounds were still there and painful. Bruises were slowly fading.

Stepping out of your bathroom into your room once clothes in loose t shirt and a pair of shorts. To see Alcina coming into the same room with a tray of food.

"Oh you're awake. You should have let me help you." Alcina had gotten up early to cook you some food, you had been deeply asleep. Your wounds had slowly healed. She had been amazed how your smaller not so deep cuts had already healed. The bruises had slowly faded. But the more severe wounds had seemed to take a bit longer.

With Alcina quick to your side, you had let her help you. Leading you down to the kitchen. "You didn't have to stay Alcina. You have bigger responsibilities n—Stop. My mother is taking care of my little girls. I'm where I'm supposed to be."

Alcina had a lot to prove. Prove to you that she wouldn't leave your side. That no matter what happened, her place was to be by your side.

*

:)

[lilbitdepressed27]

I’m Amira from Gaza🍉, and my campaign is on the verge of stopping. I have lost everything: my father, my home, my university, and my job. I urgently need your help by donating or sharing my story so it can reach the world💔🙏.

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[lilbitdepressed27]

If the lady likes the drawing, then it's beautiful

[lilbitdepressed27]

four angst fics for different characters that will be connected to other fics 🤨 what is going on

[lilbitdepressed27]

Vada Cavell/Fem!Reader

Warnings: Angst, Violence, Death

WC: 1.7k

Author's note: sorry for any mistakes.

*This will be connected to another fic*

~

"Ugh I don't want to go to school tomorrow." Vada complained as she leaned into your warm embrace.

You chuckled had held her close. The week was almost over. And you had the perfect date set up for Friday after school. It was a simple date but one you knew Vada would like. A little date in your room with her favorite snacks, favorite movies, you wanted to do something to help her relax.

"Just two more days and it's the weekend. Speaking of the weekend, are you free on Saturday?" You also wanted to go down to the lake, a nice little secluded area from everyone else. It was a spot only a few knew about, so most times it was empty. It was also a spot you and Vada always went to.

"For you, always. What do you have planned?" Vada had never been so, happy. She had for the longest time had a crush on you. She had been in love with you before she even knew what love was. Having you all to herself was something she absolutely loved. She remembers clearly the day you both confessed your feelings to each other. It had been right after freshman year. The moments she's shared with you or moments she's held close to her heart.

"Mmh wanna go swimming with me?"

"It's a date."

*

The following day you were at school early. You had an early morning soccer meeting, so Vada would be arriving later. Based off how she hasn't responded to your texts you knew she would be late. You had her little sisters number as well she always sent you either funny TikTok videos or sometimes even hilarious pictures of Vada.

She had texted you that Vada had been falling asleep on the toilet. Which you didn't doubt for a second cause she's done that before at your house.

With a shake of your head but fond smile on your face, you put your phone away focusing back on to the coach.

*

You only had a few minutes to spare before your first period started when you felt the familiar weight on your back. The familiar favorite sound of Vada's laugh filling your ears. Her lips on your cheek as her arms wrapped around your neck from behind.

"Hi baby. We brought you a Caramel frappe with extra caramel." Vada had the brightest smile on her face once she got off your back handing you the drink in her hand, after getting off your back. Only giving it to you when you leaned down to peck her lips. She happily returned the kiss.

"Thanks babe." Taking a sip of the drink as you wrapped your arm around her shoulder. Pulling her closer and walking, bit slow towards her class. Your first period was a free period. So you usually relaxed in the library or just roamed the halls for a bit.

Vada absolutely adored how loving and touchy you were. How you always wanted to have her close. It something that she also loved doing, only with you of course. There was just something about how you always treated her. The way you always went out of your way to, make her feel special. Loving you had come so easy.

The bell signaling the five minute warning before class started was heard. "I'll see you after, yeah?" Vada stopped in front of her class looking up at you. Your gentle smile still caused the butterflies in her stomach to go absolutely wild.

"Of course. I'll be right here waiting. I love you."

"Aww! Look at the love birds!"

You groaned in annoyance at the interruption that was Nick, Vada's best friend. Vada leaned into your embrace one more time, giving you a little kiss before going into her class. "I'll see you later."

You turned your glare to Nick whose smirk faded. "Oh come on Y/n I was just kidd-" You didn't let him respond before you chased after him.

*

Your free period was dragging on as pure usual. Your headphones on as you listened to music while you decided to use this time to clean out your locker. The halls were empty, quiet, your music wasn't that loud so when you heard the loud gunshots. You were startled. Fear consuming you as the screams and shots continued to shoot out.

"Don't move."

You didn't have time to escape. To even try to hide from the shooter barely getting a few steps in when you heard that familiar voice.

"Turn around."

There stood Matt Corgan. He was in your math, history and English class. You didn't know him. Not personally. You never really spoke to him either.

You were scared, the gun aiming right at you, his eyes emotionless.

"I'll give you ten seconds to run. You were nice to me. But not nice enough. So ten, nine, eight-"

You bolted, running as fast as you could. Fear, adrenaline pumping through your veins but it was too late. You felt the pain before you actually heard the shots. You don't remember screaming. Or falling to the ground. You don't remember how many times you got shot but you knew it was more than once.

Maybe it was adrenaline, or maybe it was the fear, but you didn't feel any pain, the pain of being shot passed before you could really register the pain. The attempt to crawl towards the closest door, hoping it'd open. Your ears were ringing, as you pushed open the door, the door was a lot heavier than you remembered.

It was now you did register the room you were in. The bathroom. Faintly hearing the guns shots heading away from where you were at. It was then you let yourself cry. The pain washing over you like a tsunami. You tried to stop the bleeding but it had been no use. Weakly taking out your phone. Fear gripping your heart as you felt yourself growing weaker and weaker.

You wanted to call your mom. You wanted your mom. You wanted to hear voice. You wanted to be in her arms. Assuring you that everything would be okay.

Only then did you see a bullet lodged in your phone.

The cry that left your lips was louder than you had thought it would.

"—okay?"

The pain was unbearable now, adrenaline leaving your body just as fast as the blood was from your wounds.

"Are you okay?"

Someone else was in the bathroom, not that you noticed. Too stuck in your head, the room was getting brighter than before. Or maybe it was getting darker. You weren't sure. You were going to die alone. You were going to die.

You were dying.

"I'm—I'm scared."

~

Vada had tried texting you. Praying that you were hiding in the little room in the back of the library. You usually spent your free period there. But when you didn't answer her texts, she grew worried. Trying just about everything to reach you. She knew your phone was on silent. It always was at school. You didn't have the vibration on. So it could be you didn't see her texts.

But she knew deep in her heart that you would have texted her as well. To check in with her. To make sure she was okay.

Yet you didn't.

The gun shots rang louder, closer. Squeezing her eyes shut as her hands covered her mouth. To prevent the cry to escape. When the gun shots stopped. She felt herself, Mia and Quinton freeze in fear when the door was pushed open.

It was quiet only for few seconds when they heard a silent painful cry. They were all quiet. Afraid to say anything, until it was Quinton spoke up.

"Are you okay?"

Quinton repeated the question.

No one responded. Only silent cries continued. Until the person spoke.

Her eyes widening as her ears registered who that voice belonged to. The dreadful feeling as her legs moved before anything. Moving quickly to get to that voice. Her body froze when she saw who was laying on the floor. Pale, eyes half open. Clothes covered in blood.

Your blood.

"No no no." Knees sliding as dropped to you. She's hovering over your chest before pressing down on your wound. There was too many. "Come on Y/n. I'm here baby. Open your eyes." Her voice cracking, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"V—Vada?" You were sure you were going to die alone. Seeing the beautiful brunette.

Your pained smile made her cry, putting more pressure on your wounds. Mia and Quinton were quick to help. Trying their best to put pressure on other wounds.

"I'm right here baby. Just keep your eyes on me okay?"

She couldn't lose you, not like this. You were getting paler, eyes growing heavy by the way your blinks got longer.

"Please-Please don't leave me."

The wet cough echoed in the restroom. Vada eyes followed the blood trickle down the side of your mouth. The acceptance in your eyes.

"I'm...I'm going to...have to get a..a rain check on our...date." Your voice was soft wet from the blood in your mouth. You were no longer in pain. The pain had become numbing. You couldn't feel your toes anymore. You had a now loose grip on Vada's hand.

"No-No you'll be okay. Come on. Please. Y/n please. I'm begging you just hold on. Stay with me." She pulled you closer. Holding your body close to her. Not caring that your blood was getting on her clothes.

"Please—Please tell tell my mom—tell her I love her. I—I love yo—"

The feeling of your breath hitching and stopping. The way she felt the moment you slipped away from her. The feeling of you no longer breathing as you tried to utter your last words. The way your grip on her hand fell limp. The cry of pure loss and agony as she pulled your body closer.

You were gone.

You had promised her forever.

:(