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I don’t know me

Hi, I’m 18 years old. Wondering if it was for me. 

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang problema, pero may kulang sa akin. Hindi ako buo. Wasak. Durog. Sira. 

Ayoko sana maging ganito, gusto ko maging masaya sa lahat ng mga ginagawa ko pero ang bigat sa pakiramdam. 

Ayoko ng ganito, sobrang bigat. Sobra.

Ang hirap.

Gusto ko na sumuko, gusto ko na maging masaya. Pero paano. Wala akong ideya, wala hindi ko din makontrol sarili ko.

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This is my calling

So... gusto ko lang i-share what I experience yesterday! That was so damn amazing and overwhelming. Ok, last day we dissect a toad which at first really disgusting, but when its my turn to unskin the toad I feel like a Doctor for a whole world animals. You know what, this is it. This is where I made for, whatever it takes I continue doing this. To be a veterinarian. 

BUt yeass I am so fucking fake I should be reviewing for my exam next week but here I am doing useless things. Ok, im gonna do my things now lolololol. bye---

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Dear companies, stop producing plastic.

 As I was waiting to my line to paid for my chosen groceries there’s a thing that comes to my mind when I saw Paper bags. And I think its a good thing if I shared to you my thoughts. 

What if we stop using plastic? What if we encourage companies and manufacturers to stop producing plastic? Did the world make change and get back to the old environment? If yes, how? 

Plastic is the number one tragedy on earth not the earthquake nor the floods. But the trash that we gained on earth. Let me give you some feedback about the plastic on how it affects and why they are dangerous to the Environments? Plastic contains many toxic chemicals, the PVC or the Polyvinyl chloride is widely known as the most toxic plastic for health and the environment. In its production, it releases dioxins, ph thalates, vinyl chloride,ethylene dichloride, lead and cadmium. From its production down for becoming a trash it has bad effects on Earth and also to the people, animals, and our forest.

So why still use them? Knowing its a dangerous.

It’s like making a weapon to kill yourself. Are we really living to live? Or just living to survive? 

Let’s start for not using or buying any plastic from now on. Make a campaign to stop producing plastic and instead use something that made out of paper or any environmental friendly. Start to live now and save the world, its not the end, but its just the beginning. 

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Is Filipinos are becoming Foreigners on their own motherland?

Disclaimer: This blog is for my opinion only not for any harmful purposes.

I live in the Philippines since I was born. I can say that Philippines is my nationality and my motherland, but is it still my nationality even if I didn’t do our own culture?

These past few weeks I didn’t recognize Philippines as a Filipino. Are we really forgotten our own culture? How can we identify Filipinos when our own identity are now begins to gone.

Let me give to you some comparisons. Let’s compare Philippines to Japan.

Japan is a closed country, meaning they are not allowed to migrate or leave to their country to have work. Japan’s policy are making sense, they implement it for their own good that’s why Japan is the one of the richest country in the world, their own skilled worker works on their country. Japan build their own identity because they focused on their own culture. They spread their cultures to the foreigners and so at least they are not the foreigners on their own country.

How’s the Philippines? Do we even spread out our own culture? Or we will just let them glimpse to our beautiful nature like our phrase that we used to say “Bahala na”? This glimpse can become invaded and this what the China do to us, right? 

Support our own products like the production, media, culture, language, foods, clothing, and etc. Imagine living to the country who have their own culture for their own daily lives, it will surely give amazing life for us Filipino. 

Stop doing their cultures, you are Filipino and we do have our own, Remember Jose Rizal said “Love your country.” and “Walang mang-aalipin kung walang papaalipin.” Just giving you some reminder, let’s start building our own identity. It’s true that Spaniards invaded us, but can we live on our own identity? For just not depending on others culture? 

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This is what it feels to be no feelings nor emotions

Many people asking “how do you feel?”

Answering them, “I’m okay.”

But honestly, I don’t know how should I feel.

I don’t even know any single words I will say

I just don’t know how to live well

I just want to live normally

Like any other person, 

I want to cry but there’s no tears left on me

I want to laugh I laughed but it seems not real

I want to break my heart but its already broken

I don’t know how to live normally

How can I escape to this circle?

They answered me, “keep your faith high”

I always have faith, but it doesn’t help me

there’s always a hole inside of me.

They answered me, “be inlove”

But being in love makes me broke even more.

I ask Him, “why I’m still here?”

I’m busy searching to Your answers

But there’s no answer who answered my question.

I feel empty.

The emptiness drowning me.

I shout for help, no one listened.

They think this shout is from my happiness.

I’m not okay.

I don’t even know how to be okay.

I just don’t know why I am still here.

But I’m hoping I’m going to feel what the normal person’s feel.

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What I regret during my High school life? (lists of how to have a good memories in high school..) and to those high school students who read this, do this before you regret it)

I’m now a college students, and to be honestly I kinda regret my past for not spending my teenage life happily wild and young. So even I want to spent my life now to be wild and happy I will never have that moment anymore because there’s a responsibility that needs to be done--my role as a student, and my role as a daughter is now my priority. Although, I have a plenty of time to be the wildest person but it doesn’t help now, aside for being a responsible holder the problem are getting bigger and bigger, unlike before when I was in high school no worries, no stress, you just live to have a moment and create your own memories. And because there’s no time machine and there’s no reset button to go back to my past, I can only do is to share what I regret (that basically the high school students should do these before it turns out to regrets) for not having good memories by giving you guys list. So buckle up, seat, and enjoy! 

1. Make A Circle of Friend, Not small circle but a Big Big Circle of friends. Expect the unexpected things, in your stage there’s always a drama between you and your friends, but please do not take it seriously it will just cause you stress and emotional trauma. In your Big circle of friend, 95% are plastic nor true, so make sure you have a best friend that are loyal to you no matter what happens that sticks with you in sickness or in wealth hehe.

2. Do not get involved to the drama. Not specifically a theater drama but your classmates drama. You can’t avoid that, specially in your stage. So what you can do is to shake it off and don’t give a F. Go to the people who only know is laughter and all stuffs that you also want. I promise to you this kind of people is more true than those people who only know is drama. Man, life is not a drama so live to the fullest.

3. Get involved to the bad habits. Try the things you think is bad. You can’t judge the book by its cover, when you already try these bad things, its not bad anymore because it makes you moreeeee happy and this will make you have a good memories. I promise you, you will never regret it. Take note the word limitation.

4. Cutting classes. There’s no explanation here just cut the class and do what you want.

5. Be a Guidance Councilor’s pet. What I mean is involved to the stuff that breaking your school regulation. You know why? Because it will make you who you are. Lol. Whatever, eventually you will understand me after you graduate. Kidding a side, but standard is making you a puppet so basically you cannot do what you really want to do, and what you really want to be because you don’t live outside the box. So Explore.

6. Be In love. I miss the old days, that boyfriends are easy to get lol. If you were in college and you are not getting in any relationship you will regret it lollll. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend  make sure that this person are deserved to be love, don’t let your emotion drags you. Be matured of handling relationship, if you didn’t handle it carefully, you lose. Make sure you will make your crush as your gf/bf it is the best moment of your life if it will happens.

7. Don’t get involved doing trending. I warned you don’t ever do that. Remember the Jeje Era, the Camera 360 Era, the Face off era. Don’t ever do trending stuffs. I’m serious.

8. Get involve to the curricular activities. This will help you to have a good grades, even you do not study you will get 90+ but atleast you are the pet teacher. 

9. Be a kind person to everyone. If I say everyone, I mean everyone this will gained you respect to people and respect them in return.

[annoyinglytremendousrebel-blog]

How to be a Certified Lazy Sibling

If the title caught your attention, there were only two things I am sure about you: 1. You want to learn how; 2. You want to fact check my content. Either what, you are welcome to continue reading and to share your opinion too.

So, let’s start listing down the how’s of being a Certified Lazy Sibling.

1. You have to be the youngest or younger at least. You can’t be lazy if you’re the eldest. So, if you are the eldest among your siblings, I am sorry but you are not qualified. But you can continue reading the list.

2. You must own at least one gadget. Having too many will increase your chances but one is enough to qualify. Of course you must use that gadget every second of the day and use its purpose to its maximum level. Never ever let that go unless it need to be recharged. 

3. Sleep late at night or should I say sleep when the clock is nearing 5AM and wake up past noon. in that way, you already missed many house chores that your other sibling/s had already done.

4. When someone asks help or orders you to do something, pretend that you don’t hear them for 10 minutes, if they persists, say one of the following annoyingly: WAIT; WHY ME AGAIN?; I’M BUSY; etc. if they still persist on whatever they order you to do, do it after 1 hour.

5. ....

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Zamboanga 💓

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Ifugao 💃

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Dear Biyenan 💓

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Unsaid Feelings

Eto na bukas na isipan ko, naiintindihan ko na, at natuto na rin naman ako. Bumalik ka na oh? Kahit buwan na ang nakalipas alam kong hindi mo naman talaga mahal yang bago mo. Sa pagkukumpara kasi ng pag trato mo sa aming dalawa halata namang ako ang lamang at ako ang mas minahal mo. Kinakapitan mo lang naman dahil pinanghahawakan niyo ang isang gabing pangyayaring iyon. Ako pa rin naman ang mas lamang dahil kahit na walang nangyari sa atin heto ka parin minamahal mo pa rin ako. Alam mo sana talaga pinakinggan ko yung iniwan mo sa aking voice record, dahil doon doon ko makikita kung gaano mo pinanghahawakan at pinahahalagahan yung relasyon natin. Patawad dahil pinairal ko ang pride ko, patawad dahil di ko pinakinggan yung side mo. Takot kasi ako eh. Takot na kong ipaglaban ang taong mahal ko dahil alam ko sa huli.. Mawawala rin naman. Hindi. Mali. Maling mali ako! Edi sana kung pinakinggan kita noon, masaya pa rin tayo hanggang ngayon. Siguro oo. Kung matapang lang talaga ako non. Pero Mahal alam mo ba iba na ko ngayon, natuto na ko. Kaya sige na pls, bumalik ka na. Pangako kahit ano at sino pa man yan handa akong ipaglaban at protektahan ka. Hihintayin kita.

[annoyinglytremendousrebel-blog]

Hindi man nagkasya sa 4" x 6" na index card ayos lang, Marian Rivera pa rin naman 😂 using charcoal pen, mongol 2, 8b and 2b. Inspired by my fever charing.

[annoyinglytremendousrebel-blog]

Did u see that girl? Oh yes she's absolutely not good looking at all. Did u see her face? It's disgusting. Pimples are all over her face. Did u see her nose? It is not a pointed, she have a small nose. Did u see her lips? Even she's wearing lipstick her dark chopped lips appeared. Did u see her eyes? Her eyes was deep right? Uh she's really an eye sore. That girl. Is me. I captured myself in my baddest angle to see my imperfections. And that's my flaws. Whenever I see myself on front cam or in mirror I always see was an ugly girl who trying to be a pretty girl. And ask myself... Are they telling too that I haven't good looking face? That i have so many pimples in my face? That i have a small nose? That i have a dark chopped lips? That my eyes are so deep? I just want to know what people thinks of me. But I have just one or two sentences words to say to them.. I'm not ugly, the beauty that you thinks of is just a trend of this generation.

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Can someone tell me how to sleep?

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I need closure bes!

Gusto kong malaman kung talaga bang minahal mo ako o isang laruan lang sayo. Gusto kong malaman kung iniisip mo ako araw-araw gabi-gabi noong tayo pa. Gusto kong malaman kung may pakielam ka ba talaga sakin. Pangako pag nalaman ko ang mga sagot nit titigil na ko sa pagluluksa sayo. Titigil na ko sa paghugot ng masasakit. Titigilan ko na pumunta sa lugar mo. Titigil na ko sa paggawa ng tula tungkol sayo. Titigilan ko na bisitahin ang facebook mo. Titigil na akong umasang bumalik ang tayo. Gusto ko lang ng klarong pag uusap. Gusto ko ng maayos na pagpapaalam. Pagkatopos noon ay.. Muli akong magsisimula ng may ngiti muli sa aking mga labi. Muli kong babanggitin ang salitang mahal sa taong magpapatibok ulit ng puso ko. Muli akong magmamahal ng buong buo. Kailangan ko lang ng kasagutan at titigilan ko na ang kahibangang ito.