anonymousjournalist

[anonymousjournalist]

Honestly, what Trump needs to do is go get himself a bigger, flashier, even more aggressive cancer to show Biden up.

[anonymousjournalist]

my best tip for anyone trying to get back into reading is to remember that you can read books to avoid other responsibilities in ur life and it can become a vice if you play your cards right

[anonymousjournalist]

ppl complain abt everyone being so boring/inauthentic/detached these days but the second u have interests they deem unusual theyll be like "waitttt thats giving neurodivergent..." like damn its so awesome that were pathologising giving a fuck about anything they dont sell at a tj maxx

[anonymousjournalist]

the ass cancer is going to spread through his nerves and hijack his brain like an ass-cell symbiote and they’re going to put ass-cancer-joe on the ballot in 2028. the prostate construct occupying the husk of genocide joe will be running for president in 2028.

[anonymousjournalist]

[anonymousjournalist]

What if you were leaving someplace after getting in an argument with some guy and while you were leaving he shouted "I fucking hate you and I hope it takes you forever to get home and I hope your car breaks down and when you finally get home I hope there's a bunch of guys there eating your food and trying to fuck your wife" and then it all happened exactly like that

[anonymousjournalist]

unbelievable that its 4/20 and absolutely nobody has put the objectively best rage comic on my dash yet. i have to do everything around here

[anonymousjournalist]

[anonymousjournalist]

“Bet I know a thing or two about your dove.” “Like what?” “Like she’s delightful to look at, swishes around in bright colors, and sings like a mockingjay. You love her. And oh, how she seems to love you. Except sometimes you wonder, because her plans don’t include you at all.” Something something, Coriolanus calling Lucy Gray "my girl" versus Haymitch calling Lenore Dove "my girl."

[anonymousjournalist]

blood circulation? never heard of her. *i put on a bracelet, i put on another bracelet, i put on another bracelet, i put on another bracelet, i put-*

[anonymousjournalist]

Maysilee Donner, I love you!

[anonymousjournalist]

my beautiful collection

[anonymousjournalist]

I'm gonna suck em off

a seven nation army couldn't fuck my ass

[anonymousjournalist]

library date?? coffee shop date??? museum date?? art gallery date?? stargazing date?? napping date?? picnic date??? yes

[anonymousjournalist]

"jerk off instructions" ... dont make me laugh, kid. i know what im doing

[anonymousjournalist]

(watching hardcore porn) derivative. it insists upon itself. not even a dutch angle could- hold on (cums) sorry. not even a dutch angle could save this trite

[anonymousjournalist]

i got bit by a snake! quick!! you have to jerk me off to get the poison out! and pinch my nipples a little, too. and call me good boy! yeah that’s the only antidote I looked it up on Internet Explorerrrrrrr