anotherrowen

[anotherrowen]

This is real though. I think this is how we get ADHD brains that run on little treats before the task instead of any kind of reward after the task. We don't believe in the reward. It's not real. I need payment up front in the form of a little treat.

If you have achieved something, please remember to observe a mandatory period of basking in the warm glow of your achievement like a lizard on a stone, lest you teach your brain that effort is futile, actually, because it didn't get to enjoy its happy chemicals, so, naturally, nothing good ever comes of trying. (And no, avoiding punishment is not a reward!)

I recommend, like, 5% of basking time in relation to whatever time you invested into achieving the thing minimum. And if you can't make your own bask, friend-brought is fine (= tell your friends!).

[anotherrowen]

Hatpin That Guy!

i bet there were guys in the 1800s who were super fucking Reddit about everything, but no one had the right word yet for why those guys were so annoying. so they just had to wonder

[anotherrowen]

When I graduated high school and through most of my 20s, popping the hood of my vehicle to check the oil gave me an anxiety attack due to the conditioning I received in my family home.

Today I replaced spark plugs and ignition coils on my partner's car because

Because I can

Because I've put in a fuck ton of work desensitizing myself

Because I've slowly learned what tools work how and what to look for when I'm working on the puzzle that is an engine.

I'm not /good/ at it, not by a long shot. But damn. I've gotten rid of more than one vehicle because it had an issue similar to the one I just fixed.

And that feels really fucking good.

[anotherrowen]

dramatically and violently turns into a werewolf and then continues doing the same thing I was doing before

[anotherrowen]

Come now, Mr Scrooge, where is your holiday spirit? (Pun unintended.)

The Scrooges are from our printable Christmas Advent!

[anotherrowen]

thinking about how my mom spent like 2 years getting downright vicious about the houseless folks who were camping in the woods past her house (to the point of getting a BB rifle that looked like a real fucking gun to threaten them with when they crossed in front of her house??) and justifying it with White Lady Fear a la "what if one of them does something to me! I am but a helpless white woman living all alone!!" and like...

y'all, she terrorized those people. every single time she saw someone outside, she was riling her dog up to bark, waving a gun in their faces (that for all intents & purposes they certainly thought was real), yelling at them, calling the cops (thank god the 2 rural-ass cops didn't actually give a shit), etc.

and she justified it with fears of womanly fragility & inability to defend herself, and I believe how afraid she was! she talked about fearing they would break into her house at night and sexually assault her, and I believe she was legitimately afraid of that. she's been victimized in many of the ways she was afraid of being victimized by them.

the thing is that it doesn't matter how real the fear is.

nothing ever happened, nobody ever tried to threaten her, nobody tried to break in, nobody even approached her. she initiated every single interaction. when she told them not to go through her yard, they did the best they could to respect that without giving up their camping spot; which was on someone else's property, who didn't mind them being there (not to mention one of them is actually indigenous to this specific land!)

she was a thousand times more threatening to those people than they ever were to her, but her fear of them was still real. and that's exactly what made her so dangerous.

I need cis women to internalize this ASAP. your fear is real, and it can and will hurt others. your fear is real, and it is harmful. your fear is real, and your hurt is not deserved, and you still need to grow & heal & prevent it from causing harm.

[anotherrowen]

I appreciate "just some dude"-type of masculine aesthetic and comIetely understand why there is a lot of transmascs who lean towards it, but I just can't relate to it. I need more representation of transmasculine people who transition to be a dark academia history professor, an effeminate dandy, a mad scientist with mysterious sadness in his eyes, a gay politician, a Fyodor Dostoyevsky impersonator, a

[anotherrowen]

Okay but finding out that my partner's ex and their partner discouraged him (intensely) from changing his name because of their (lazy af) experience with their other partner's name change kinda makes me want to make fake accounts and harass them online

Idk.

AITA?

[anotherrowen]

so judging by how astonished people are by it every time we explain it to anybody, it seems like my wife and I might really be onto something here

during the pandemic, we invented something we call "astronaut time."

when it's astronaut time, it's like we are two astronauts wearing the big helmets, moving around the station on totally separate tasks. one of us is outside the space station and one of us is inside the space station. our radios do not work and we have no way of communicating with each other. we might see each other through the lil porthole windows, but we ignore each other because we both have different things to do.

"astronaut time" is how we get total privacy when we live in the same apartment. I will pretend you don't exist. You will pretend I don't exist. we have a nonverbal, zero-contact signal for when astronaut time is over (usually "I'll draw a smiley-face on the whiteboard in the kitchen when I'm done"). No talking, stay out of each other's line of sight, we are actively avoiding each other, unless you are currently experiencing a medical emergency goodbye.

it has been. a godsend. imagine living with your partner and being able to close every single tab in your brain related to social interaction. no fear of being interrupted by a "hey, quick question--" or "sorry to bother you, but do you know where the scissors are?" or "did you want something to eat, too?" Once or twice a month, we look at each other lovingly, hold hands, and say "baby I think I need some astronaut time tonight," and the other person goes "okay cool. bye! have a nice night!" and nobody's feelings are hurt and we both go and have a lovely evening completely by ourselves.

like idk it's a small thing but it's made our lives so much nicer, so if you and your partner/roommate are both people who sometimes need total privacy in order to recharge, maybe try it

[anotherrowen]

just told my mom i was gonna freak it sensitive style and she hyped me up with “ooh quiet down…. quiet down..” while i was dancing

[anotherrowen]

what the fuck do you mean your keyboard doesnt have letters

We have no letters Kathleen!

[anotherrowen]

{Quotes:Nitya prakash/Richard siken ,crush}

[anotherrowen]

college bully girl: you're such a teacher's pet

kinky nerdy college girl: how did you know?

[anotherrowen]

"But why do you follow all these people if they keep posting fetish art you're not into" do you have any idea how boring my dashboard would be if I only followed people who aren't into weird shit?

[anotherrowen]