antagcnisms

[antagcnisms]

text ✉️ logan norris.

Merrick: Now who’s being petty?

Merrick: I’m pissed at you because you went to fight at something you didn’t need to again. Because you tried to be the hero again. Because you’re interfering in something you don’t /need/ to.

Merrick: I don’t care about your anger issues. We all have them. Do you think I haven’t wanted to throw things through windows again? That I haven’t wanted to fight every girl on the squad who won’t step up? That I’m not on the verge of losing my own damn mind? But this isn’t a simple problem with a simple solution. You put yourself in danger, Ethan, all the rest of us connected to you. For what? ‘To have his back’? Show you have his back by being there for once Logan, not beating the shit out of someone.

Logan: we’ve already established that you’re pissed at me. that’s not the point right now.

Logan: you’re mad at me for what i did? fine. but you can’t chew me out for handling things the way i did and then fucking shut me out when i offer to do anything else.

Logan: there was a time when i thought you knew me better than anyone else, that you were the only person who understood how all-consuming my anger can be. and i get that you’ve been angry lately — hell, there’s been plenty of reasons to be. but if you think your anger and mine are the same, maybe you don’t know me as well as i thought you did.

[antagcnisms]

text: ☆* all *☆

Holly: i've been thinking about it - for a while now that's part of why i suggested it.

Holly: thats not your fault. i want to. Sometimes i actively have to stop myself from just unloading on you. But there are some things i cant talk to you about as much as i want to just like im sure theres things you cant say to me.

Holly: maybe we could look together? Find someone right for you and someone right for me. We dont have to go through with it if it doesnt feel right but at least the options there?

Logan: there are a lot of things i hold myself back from saying to you. but it’s not so much because i can’t, as opposed to being terrified of saying the wrong thing.

Logan: yeah, that sounds good. it doesn’t seem as daunting if you’re looking with me.

Logan: thank you, for always being so patient with me. i honestly don’t know what i did to deserve you.

[antagcnisms]

text: ☆* all *☆

Holly: maybe but would you want to?

Holly: its not stupid, change is terrifying and theres no guarantee it'd even completely work but you're brave and you could handle it...if you decided to try.

Holly: the anger isn't who you are...its a part of you, its inside of you but its not /you/.

Logan: if that's what it takes to make sure the people i love don't get hurt.

Logan: i'm not saying i will, but if i do see someone, any chance i can convince you to do the same? i know there are things you don't tell me, that it's been... difficult, to say the least, lately.

Logan: i thought maybe you'd talk to me when you were ready to, but if it'd be easier for you to talk to someone else, i promise i won't be upset.

[antagcnisms]

text: ☆* all *☆

Holly: it might have done the police a favor but it wouldn’t have done you any or ethan for that matter.

Holly: yeah maybe if you could find one you trust enough to be open with, someone you can relate to. There's nothing wrong with seeking help.

Holly: Or something else you can channel it into like you used to with football.

Logan: i could live with it, i think. the guilt. still, i guess it's probably for the best that i didn't kill him.

Logan: i know there's nothing wrong with it — it's just, i don't want to? it's stupid, but i've been angry for so long that i think sometimes i'm afraid i wouldn't be me if the anger was gone.

[antagcnisms]

text ✉️ logan norris.

Merrick: Having Ethan doesn’t mean that losing you made me feel better.

Merrick: No. You don’t get to be a part of the plan. You made your own bed, and now I have to go pick up the pieces from both of you.

Logan: stop being fucking petty, merrick. if you don't want my help, fine. at least i offered.

Logan: but if you're so pissed at me for ruining your plan in the first place, maybe it might be a good idea to tell me what the fuck it is so that i don't ruin it some more with my uncontrollable anger issues.

[antagcnisms]

text: ☆* all *☆

Holly: no i havent - how bad? Do you know if he's had anyone look him over?

Holly: its... i can see why you might have wanted to but you stopped this time and thats important.

Holly: but what if its get too much to handle? What if next time you cant stop or they get the upper hand and youre the one who ends up dead? Do you think maybe its time you find someone...anyone that can help?

Logan: bad, but he'll live. merrick probably patched him up as best as she could.

Logan: don't give me too much credit yet. there's a part of me that kinda wishes i hadn't stopped myself. what he did to ethan aside, he's a terrible person. should've done the police a favor and just gotten rid of him.

Logan: what, like a therapist?

[antagcnisms]

EJ ⇄ LN

Ethan: you’re not always going to be able to clean up my messes. and when you start playing ball, you’re really not going to be able to get involved. not in shit like this.

Logan: isn't that just all the more reason for me to help while i still can?

Logan: i'm not going to throw away my future. i won't have that on your conscience. but let me help, please.

[antagcnisms]

text: ☆* all *☆

Holly: Murder? I think you need to maybe give me a few more details.

Logan: have you seen ethan recently? he got beat up pretty bad, and when i saw him i just — kinda lost it?

Logan: he refused to tell me who did it, but all the years of pool hustling and instigating bar fights paid off. asked around a bit, found the guy, /didn't/ kill him, but i could have. i wanted to.

[antagcnisms]

text ✉️ logan norris.

Merrick: No, that makes is Amelia’s fault if it’s anyone else’s. She couldn’t handle rejection. I didn’t go off and start blowing racist dickbags when we broke up.

Merrick: My parents will protect anyone important to me. Look at Garland - my mom hid her for months. I had a /plan/.

Merrick: Because I know you, Logan. Maybe you can kill, but the guilt would eat you alive.

Logan: you had ethan. she only had me and i wasn't there for her. but it doesn't matter whose fault it is, what's done is done.

Logan: then your parents will still protect our friends if they decide to retaliate in response to my little stunt. i can't take back what i did, and i know it was all sorts of stupid and reckless, but i don't regret it.

Logan: although, if you don't mind telling me what your plan is, maybe i can be useful for something other than beating a guy to death.

Logan: i could live with it though, if it came down to it. if it meant you guys would be safe.

[antagcnisms]

text: ☆* all *☆

Holly: How terrible Lo? Are you okay?

Logan: i'm fine. or, well. as fine as anyone who's realized they're capable of murder can be.

[antagcnisms]

text: ☆* all *☆

Holly: only if you promise to hit me with yours in return...it cant just be all my trauma all the time.

Holly: can you still be surprised?

Holly: ignorance is ignorance - bliss is bliss. Luckily for you i have so at least i know what to be on the lookout for.

Logan: actually, there is something i've been wanting to talk to you about. i wasn't sure how to bring it up, but i suppose i should just come clean with it —

Logan: i think i did something terrible.

[antagcnisms]

text ✉️ logan norris.

Merrick: It wasn’t your mess, Logan. And he only got into it in the first place because Amelia was going off the rails and roped him into it. Because he wanted to help her.

Merrick: Good. Let them take me. Do you think my parents are going to let them get away with that? That they won’t take them down, in a legal way?

Merrick: You’re not a killer either, Logan. You’re angry and I get it because life fucking sucks but if you kill someone, you ruin your whole fucking life. No Ohio. No football. No NFL. And then what?

Logan: that kinda makes it my mess though. if i'd handled the amelia situation better, she wouldn't have spiralled, and then ethan wouldn't have gotten caught up in it.

Logan: your parents will protect you, but what about lulu? ethan would do anything they asked if they threatened her. i just made sure they knew what would happen if they tried.

Logan: and what makes you so sure i'm not? i could claim it was a self-defense killing. it'd be the truth. pretty sure it's kill or be killed with those guys.

[antagcnisms]

text: ☆* all *☆

Holly: This is why i prefer to keep my thoughts to myself.

Holly: not chocolates? I'll make sure i buy the most garish arrangement i can find.

Holly: if i were you i'd be pretty creeped out now...haven't you ever seen Swimfan?

Logan: if there's anyone i'd want to share trauma with, it's you, so. feel free to hit me with those thoughts of yours anytime.

Logan: surprise me.

Logan: no, i have not. and because ignorance is bliss, i think it's for the best that i haven't.

[antagcnisms]

text ✉️ logan norris.

Merrick: Yes, you could! This wasn’t about you! You didn’t need to be involved in this at all! He didn’t ask you to be and you don’t always need to save everyone else!

Merrick: When your anger issues potentially hurt the rest of our friends, I’m gonna call you out on it. Do you think I’m not fucking livid about what happened? That they used him and hurt him and that I don’t want to take one of my dads guns and do something about it?

Merrick: But this isn’t some asshole at a bar you hustled in pool. This is much, much worse. So yeah, I’m angry at you for this.

Logan: he's my best friend! my brother! i'm gonna be there for him whether he asks me to be or not.

Logan: i hate to break it to you, but ethan put all of us at risk the moment he decided to get involved with those guys. they might have let him go for now, but they would have used you or lulu to pull him right back in if they ever changed their minds.

Logan: armed with your dad's gun or not, you going after them would have been a terrible idea, because that's not the kind of person you are. but i am.

Logan: i know, but it turns out i'm a much, much worse person than i ever thought i was.

[antagcnisms]

text: ☆* all *☆

Holly: a thought shared is a thought halved?

Holly: wouldn't the invitation itself be proof enough that you are? And not just /my/ invitation but apparently the mass amounts you've recieved.

Holly: For real? Like no joke? because Lo thats just creepy. Its like one step away from someone wearing a vial of your blood around their necks. Did you recognize the writing?

Logan: no, a thought shared is trauma doubled.

Logan: i'll let the lack of fanfare slide this time, but i'll be expecting flowers next time we make any plans.

Logan: dead serious. well, i'd be more creeped out if it was my own hair in the card, but luckily that wasn't the case. no idea whose it could be, though.

[antagcnisms]

text ✉️ logan norris.

Merrick: We had it taken care of. I had a plan in place, and now you’ve fucked it up.

Merrick: Just because you’re angry all the time doesn’t mean you get to go after whoever you want, Logan. There’s consequences. And what are you going to do? Glower at them? You’ll be lucky if they don’t come after you, next. Or your sister. Or Holly, for fucks sake.

Logan: they won't come after me. they won't touch lori, or ethan, or holly, or you either.

Logan: [UNSENT] i'll kill them if they try.

Logan: look, for what it's worth, i'm sorry i fucked up your plan, but i couldn't just sit by and do nothing.

Logan: but also fuck you, merrick. it feels like all you ever do since we broke up is take digs at my anger issues and i'm fucking sick of it.

[antagcnisms]

text ✉️ logan norris.

Merrick: Are you an absolute fucking moron? We had it handled. You realize if you went after them, you’re making this a thousand times worse for him, right?

Logan: are you really that naive? do you really think this was it — that they'd let him go after one last job and a beating to hell?

Logan: they would've made his life hell anyway. at least now they know there'll be consequences if they do.