#TEXTS.

[astramachina]

you ever read a fic so good for the first time in ages that you go into a fugue state.

[mad3lyncline]

𝑻𝑬𝑿𝑻𝑺 𝑭𝑹𝑶𝑴 𝑴𝒀 𝑭𝑨𝑴𝑰𝑳𝒀 𝑮𝑹𝑶𝑼𝑷 𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑻 . starters from a variety of real texts that have cursed my family group chat .

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i didn't see that [ name ] is holding his junk until after i sent the pic

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] just ate some fig newtons , the extra long ones

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] fuck yeah , go give that beer your dick !

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] maybe he'll let you down quicker if you give him an open mouth kiss

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] you'll want to keep the gondola operator alive but everyone else is dispensable

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] we have parked our lard asses under displays for souvenirs and we are both NOT MOVING .

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] no more mountains you've lost your mountain privileges

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] we still have our sense of humor , but [ name ] may lose theirs at any moment .

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] we are safe . we think . no need to worry . i don't think .

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] it's funny now , but i can feel myself getting a bit cranky .

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i'm really sick with icantgotowork disease 🦠 it's rough

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] have you guys gotten diarrhea yet ?

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i hear [ name's ] ex is writing a diss track

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] okay getting food bird pooped on me

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i just ate a cake that said 'happy birthday baby jesus'

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] the autism is strong today

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] there will be no butt cakes and please take me off this thread

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i'll start growing my pubes !

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] [ name ] is making us celebrate president's day with a cake

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] my favorite thing is explaining slang that mom will absolutely hate

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] their old dog looked like a cigarette

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] yeah it's really hard being really good looking all the time

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i'm about to be that asshole that brings their leftovers on a plane

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i have to focus on one weird thing a day or i'll die

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] congrats bunghole i'm proud of you 🥰

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] just so you know : penis .

[cyberneticnightmares]

seeing nowhere near enough willry shenanigans in 70s conversation pits like come on y'all

shit writes/draws itself

[chandlerjulyfm]

➝ cj + eva

cj: hey there, sorry to bother you. cj: my name is cj, i don't think you have my number and i definitely had to go through the staff directory to find yours BUT cj: were you still interested in working out together?

@anderseva

[vitalphenomena]

@freekzout // [older] funke

[ sms: 💖 ] Milk

[giselle-clarke]

text message ⇆ santana & giselle

Giselle: i'm glad you liked that playlist, and i'll take that appreciation whenever you feel like giving it to me. though, that goes against our 'taking it slow' agenda so... Giselle: anyways, there's something i need to tell you, and you're not going to like it, but i need you to promise me that you won't spiral. @limalatina

[jiakim]

jia: hello! this is jia kim from blue harbor elementary. i tried to call you earlier to let you know that your son is missing his backpack. please, call me at your earliest convenience.

@fromharbor

[liamalexanderr]

liam: heyy liam: i'm bored and horny liam: u wanna hook up again ?

@tonibeltran

[firedidol]

to: tropicana 🍊 | @beachorange

text: cutest orange in the world! i just realized i never asked you for an update on your boy problems, how rude of me text: did it all end up working out??

[vanessagable]

Van: Can you do me a huge favor? Van: Would there be any chance that you could stop by the house today and check on the plants? Van: Uly is staying at the house but I think keeping the dog and the plants alive might be high expectations. @cricketcampbell

[astramachina]

You will never guess what just dropped on AO3.

I hope you like some classic lovecraftian horror with your stobotnik.

[shepevansfm]

➝ shep + bree

shep: jake's is a dick

shep: don't know what you ever saw in him.

@blckbarbree

[cyberneticnightmares]

ayo has anyone ever been insane enough to make a willry specific fan song. like not even a shippy one just like. About Them, yknow what i mean?

[schuelive]

sms 📱 chlobear

jeremy: guess who pulled an all nighter? @chloeschue

[vitalphenomena]

@unpossession said: [txt: spirit] yooo can we talk

[ sms: willoh ] wat

[chandlerjulyfm]

CJ: Marley! Help how do I act normal while tipsy... CJ: This old white professor keeps asking me questions and idk what to do

@marley-rose