anticosmic

[anticosmic]

You’re always haunted by the idea you’re wasting your life.

Chuck Palahniuk, Diary (via books-n-quotes)

[anticosmic]

One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving.

Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist (via the-book-diaries)

[anticosmic]

Some things about myself #1

If I had a superpower it’d be my incredible ability to be unimpressed by most things. I diet often but I wish I could just eat without guilt. I worry that I’ll die without having read all the books I want. I regret not having the discipline or creativity to make a scrapbook. I’ve had an idea for a documentary where I travel around the world and meet people with my name and have them tell me a story. I still cringe at the number of times I could have accidentally killed someone in my teens and early twenties. I seldom ever feel lonely and I wonder if I’ve simply forgotten what the opposite feels like or if I really am happier alone. I get excited when I fall asleep because I know that even a lackluster dream is a pretty cool dream. I think that scientists hold a priori outdated and racist 19th century assumptions regarding the role of evolution in nature and are causing our society to disregard millions of years of development because they don’t want to admit they made a mistake. I enjoy mostly every movie I watch and I can’t be friends with people who are overly critical of art. I never understood why people make so many mistakes when the outcome is so obvious. I still have that little boy-type giddiness when I think of dinosaurs. I enjoy how upset people who criticize scientology get when I point out the equally ridiculous premises and cultish premises of other religions, as if they get a free pass just because they’re old. Some days I think I’m very handsome, others I can’t even look at myself. I dread going to parties but I’ve been to very few that I absolutely loathed. I aspire to never talk badly about anyone behind their back, but I do it all the time. I wonder how many of my thoughts are original, and how many are thought by others. I don’t think I’ve ever been myself around anyone else, family and friends included--I always keep a little something just for me. I’ve seen more dead bodies in person than I care to admit. I like the thrill of horror and am always a little disappointed when people don’t want to watch scary movies with me. I think about sex often, but always in a loving way. I could live without ever drinking alcohol again. I really don’t care for weed, despite what my history may say. I really appreciate all my psychedelic trips, and I feel rightfully defensive when people criticize that part of my life. I wonder which moments of my childhood, which was largely un-traumatic, scathed me the most and affect me to this day. I like the idea of traveling in theory but not in practice. I believe I missed my calling to design AI from an ethical perspective, and now someone whose intellect is not as up to the task as mine will do what I could’ve done only because they took school more seriously early on. I talk a lot, but that’s because I forget that long ago I realized that people seldom say anything interesting, however I always aspire to be a better listener. I think Catholicism is a great religion but has been too mired in scandals and conservative ideology to be taken seriously anymore. I think I was born about three years too late. I think I’m more sex positive than mostly all my friends, though I’m sure they think the opposite. I’m skeptical of altruism. I really like aggressive sex, but when I masturbate I always think of slow, sensual lovemaking. I handle very stressful situations much better than I handle moderately stressful situations. I prefer the hour of 4 - 5 AM over all others, and I try to wake up to experience at least a little of it every morning. I think that the idea of people throwing a party after someone dies is stupid, and I think people are just afraid of feeling sad. 

[anticosmic]

“You are so brave and quiet I forget you are suffering.”

— Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms

[anticosmic]

[anticosmic]

Grown man with a cat. Is that part of your act?

[anticosmic]

[anticosmic]

- Right now people see you as, like, a star and me as a piece of space debris. - That’s what stars are made of.

Hailey Rutledge and Rodrigo de Souza in season 4 episode 02 of Mozart in the Jungle (via playwiththeblood)

[anticosmic]

What else could I do? You could try again.

John Steinbeck, East of Eden (via books-n-quotes)

[anticosmic]

…my tears would drown the world, as my inner fire would reduce it to ashes.

Emil Cioran, On the Heights of Despair (via the-book-diaries)

[anticosmic]

[anticosmic]

I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.

Joseph Heller, Catch-22 (via the-book-diaries)

[anticosmic]

The aim is to balance the terror of being alive with the wonder of being alive.

Carlos Castaneda (via purplebuddhaproject)

[anticosmic]

Inherent Vice (2014) directed by Paul Thomas Anderson

[anticosmic]

Inherent Vice (2014) directed by Paul Thomas Anderson

[anticosmic]

Questions arose. Like, what in the fuck was going on here, basically.

From Inherent Vice, by Thomas Pynchon (via markhamillz)

[anticosmic]

Some would say eccentric. I would say stoned out of his fuckin mind, nothing personal.

Thomas Pynchon, Inherent Vice (via quotespile)