antipersonal

[antipersonal]

(( wanted to post something a bit spooky OKAY back to Text Message Tuesday 🔥✍️ ))

[antipersonal]

[antipersonal]

❱ [ DATE: ██ ██ ████ | 05:47 ] » Floor 68, Living Quarters [603]. Personal comms recorder, manual activation. » Security Note: Partial deletion recovered via Tower security node [CAM #17-E, Rec. Mic]

» [ RECORDING BEGINS: Low click followed by ambient noise (traffic, rain on window.) Atypically long silence. ]

WALKER Doc said some bullshit about-- [clears throat] --about how I should try putting it into words. Y'know, if I'm not sleeping. Said giving it a name might help.

[Brief pause. Audible exhale.]

WALKER I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to call it, though. I don't know the words for this shit, man. I guess I feel… sick, or something, but not in a way anybody can do shit about.

[Longer pause. Chair creaks faintly.]

WALKER It's like something's rotting inside me. It doesn't even hurt, I think. That I could deal with.

WALKER Sometimes I catch myself just like… standing still. Like I forgot what I was doing. Kinda feels like-- like I'm out of sync with everything? Like I'm watching a replay of myself two seconds behind. I don't know. This sounds really dramatic.

[NOTE: Tone more subdued than usual. Almost dull.]

WALKER Sometimes it feels like-- [irritated noise, rustling] My head is too loud. Like I'm forgetting something important all the time. And if I don't figure it out, something bad's gonna happen. Something bad already happened. It hasn't reached me yet but it's on its way.

WALKER Sometimes I get up like… Jesus, three or four times a night, I guess? And just kinda, y'know. Walk the Tower to check. Listen to everyone breathing. Maybe their heartbeats if it's quiet enough. I know that makes me sound like a fucking freak, I just--

[Abrupt silence. Quiet thunk, like subject had let his hand fall.]

WALKER Whatever. I know how that sounds. But it's like if I don't do it, something will happen. If I ignore it, that's the night somebody doesn't wake up. [with increasing agitation] And I don't even feel better when I check. That's the worst part. It doesn't even feel good. It's just quiet for like, three fucking seconds. It's stupid. I know it's stupid.

WALKER I don't think anybody's caught me yet. Maybe they have and they just don't give a shit.

[ CLICK ] » [ RECORDING STOPS ]

**[ NOTE: Here the recording stops and restarts abruptly. Deleted segment has been recovered to the best of our ability on page two. ]**

» [ RECORDING RESUMES ]

WALKER Anyway, uh. I'm supposed to end these on a positive note, right? Or something? You said it doesn't have to be true.

WALKER Still here, I guess. That's all you're getting out of me. Bye.

[CLICK] » [ RECORDING ENDS ] **[ CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE ]**

**[ DELETED SEGMENT -- RECOVERED FROM MONITORING DEVICE CAM #17-E, REC. MIC ]**

[ Audio slightly muffled / distorted. ]

WALKER Sometimes there's something just out of view. In the next room. Like someone left a TV on, but it's [inaudible] fucking static.

WALKER I thought I saw someone standing at the end of the hallway last week. I pulled a knife before I knew why, I was just-- standing there with [inaudible]. Like I was waiting for something.

[ Brief pause. Subject laughs. ]

WALKER I know better than to tell anyone that part, though. You say 'I heard a voice' and people start [inaudible] fuckin' eggshells. Say it twice and you're getting a needle in your neck. No offense to Bobby, but we don't need two people saying weird shit all the time.

[ Sharp breath. Frustrated sigh. ]

WALKER Forget it. This shit is pointless. I'm--

**[ END RECOVERED SEGMENT ]**

» STAFF NOTE(S):

RE: Floor 68 security nodes: Microphone fidelity needs tweaking. Archive CCTV hallway surveillance from ██ ██ ████.

[antipersonal]

(( TO BE CLEAR THO i don't wanna sound guilt trippy or some shit it's fine to block whoever u want i'm just bummed about potentially upsetting / stressing someone out 🙏 my apologies to this comrade ))

(( got blocked but idk what i did 😞 i'm so bummed out bro i thought i was chilling w everyone but it is what it is i suppose ))

[antipersonal]

(( got blocked but idk what i did 😞 i'm so bummed out bro i thought i was chilling w everyone but it is what it is i suppose ))

[antipersonal]

(( i have an ephemera post for steve but rn it's a tossup between like. one of those "write a letter to [x]" that they put on the wall in museum exhibits sometimes or a captain america themed vocab worksheet from when he was a kid LOL ))

[antipersonal]

✱[SMS:] @daemondaes [cherry] sent:

❱ [ transcript below:]

C. Ciapetti 🗓 20 JUN 202█ | 02:23

» [sms] : I want to wring you like a wet towel and slap you against a wall

J. Walker 🗓 20 JUN 202█ | 02:25

» [sms] : Can you stop texting me every time you've been up for three days » [sms] : You're like five feet tall or whatever anyway » [sms] : I could literally pick you up with one hand

J. Walker 🗓 20 JUN 202█ | 02:36

» [sms] : Don't say something weird about that.

» STAFF NOTE(S): M. GOLD

Who is this? Is this one of the temps? Remind Walker this is a company device.

[antipersonal]

(( fyi i'm signing off all these staff notes as mel because i figure she's the one on phone monitoring duty as the resident ipad baby ))

[antipersonal]

✱[SMS:] @myatonements sent:

❱ [ transcript below:]

[UNKNOWN NUMBER] 🗓 05 JUL 202█ | 16:30

»[sms] : They really do crucify anyone these days.

J. Walker 🗓 05 JUL 202█ | 16:31

»[sms] : Only if the nails fit. »[sms] : Fuck that's not it hold on »[sms] : And still, the crowd cheers. »[sms] : ??? Right »[sms] : Whatever Romanov you know it's me

[UNKNOWN NUMBER] 🗓 05 JUL 202█ | 16:34

»[sms] : FREE MSG: We're sorry, but the number you are trying to reach has been disconnected. Unable to send message.

J. Walker 🗓 05 JUL 202█ | 16:34

»[sms] : [NOT DELIVERED] Come on man

[UNKNOWN NUMBER] 🗓 05 JUL 202█ | 16:35

»[sms] : FREE MSG: We're sorry, but the number you are trying to reach has been disconnected. Unable to send message.

» STAFF NOTE(S): M. GOLD

Add mobile security protocol refresh to the schedule.

[antipersonal]

✱[SMS:] @sisterstill sent:

❱ [ transcript below:]

Y. Belova 🗓 27 JUN 202█ | 03:45

»[sms] : GO TO BED! »[sms] : ...with love

J. Walker 🗓 27 JUN 202█ | 03:50

»[sms] : You're up too, jackass. Checkmate »[sms] : [UNDELIVERED] Sorry. Nightmares. You too »[sms] : [UNDELIVERED] This fucking sucks »[sms] : [UNDELIVERED] Do you ever get tired of

J. Walker 🗓 21 JUN 202█ | 04:05

»[sms] : Roger wilco 👍

» STAFF NOTE(S): M. GOLD

Reschedule briefings to 11am at the earliest. Realistically, 3pm.

[antipersonal]

✱[SMS:] @protectxthem sent:

❱ [ transcript below:]

J. Barnes 🗓 24 JUN 202█ | 9:35

»[sms] : Hey. »[sms] : You better be alive in there.

J. Walker 🗓 24 JUN 202█ | 12:10

»[sms] : Chill out man it's like three ribs »[sms] : Get it? Chill out »[sms] :These new painkillers are crazy have you treid this shit »[sms] : *try »[sms] : *tried

J. Barnes 🗓 24 JUN 202█ | 12:13

»[sms] : ?

J. Walker 🗓 24 JUN 202█ | 12:25

»[sms] : You type like an old guy »[sms] : [UNSENT] And your haircut looks dumb as

» STAFF NOTE(S): M. GOLD

Someone decrease Walker's dosage. Seriously, this is enough to kill three people. They're not your guinea pigs.

[antipersonal]

text message prompts

[text] You okay?

[text] GO TO BED!

[text] hey you better be alive in there

[text] SOS save me please holy shit

[text] call me this date is going so bad

[text] I have way too much shit to do.

[text] Honestly I'm really worried about you.

[text] Why are you trending on Twitter?

[text] Please let me come over and pet your (pet).

[text] We are in the same building, you could come talk to me.

[text] It's not going to work out.

[text] This is a terrible idea.

[text] people have fetishes

[text] They really do crucify anyone these days huh

[text] I don't know why but that really means me want to stab you

[text] That movie was awful.

[text] For the love of god please help me

[text] I fucked up. I fucked up really bad.

[text] I'm blocking you.

[text] YOU ONE BRAINCELLED BITCH

[text] I regret swiping right.

[text] Everyone lies on their dating profiles.

[text] That absolutely can't be an actual picture of you.

[text] This forced open my third eye and I saw the devil

[text] I'm like a child in line for the newest fucked up disney ride

-

[text] That's just all fucking sorts of fucked up

[text] Why are we here? To suffer? Every other day I get messages that cause pain

[text] In the department of old man fucking, we've got you beat.

[text] have you gotten any work done?

[text] I am beyond shame, try again

[text] You left your left your underwear at my place.

[text] Don't you dare put this on Facebook.

[text] My brother in Christ you're being haunted

[text] I want to wring you like a wet towel and slap you against a wall

[text] The mind is weak but the body is funky

[text] I'm a zombie the law can't stop me.

[text] Jealous of my massive honkers

[text] We left you to die to play minecraft

[text] She would never ever take away one of these stupid fucking hats

[text] I puked all over the Uber driver's backseat.

[text] I just took a screenshot of that and posted it to Reddit

[text] You said you'd be right back and it's been months.

[text] Can't we talk about this face to face?

[text] Yeah, you'll come learn I just have a thing for milk

[text] Why did you like one of my pics from 2014?

[text] Now's as good a time as any to exchange nudes.

[text] Why would you send me an eggplant emoji?

[text] I write five paragraphs, pouring my heart out, and all you reply with is k?!

[text] Who would dare to lie on the internet?

[text] When I die, please delete all my shit off the internet

[text] He's so hot, I briefly started texting like a straight person

[text] And because I'm god and I've decided that; no, in fact, I'm not done.

-

[text] I know you love bloopy reggae jams, now is not the time.

[text] You better not be standing catatonic in your room again.

[text] God has abandoned his children but unfortunately for you I pay child support and I will smite thee.

[text]: My neighbor just told me he can fix my water heater for 50 bucks. I’m skeptical.

[text]: Do you have any idea how much it costs to buy apples? I paid 10 dollars for 6.

[text]: I mean, I wouldn’t say I have a problem with buying Squishmallows..

[text]: Hey, so you know how you told me no dog? *sends pic* I don’t do well with no’s.

[text] Stuart Little is a bitch and Remy could take him any day.

[text]: My roommate just said that Lola Bunny is hot. I’m moving out.

[text]: Hey I posted that vid of you drunk, singing Ariana Grande, wearing all black and people said not to do it again. Sorry.

[text]: Do you think the price is ever right? Like, I feel like it’s not.

[text]: I booped your nose. Boop the last five people you texted or–nothing happens really.

[text]: I’m actually in the ER and it’s a long story that involves Best Day Ever from spongebob.

[text]: I fucking hate you–wait you’re not my ex. Who are you?

[text]: You ever ask yourself if birds see a bee and just go ‘wow a bee’? im high.

[text]: sometimes all i think about is–sour patch kids. bet you thought it was you.

[text]: I love you—not as much as I love my dog. But still a lot!

[text]: I found a cat on the way home and now it’s mine. But it hates my guts so this should be fun.

[text]: I have questions about the marvel cinematic universe…how long do you have?

[text]: why do donald duck and winnie the pooh not have to wear pants but other people do?

[text]: Hey you know that show floor is lava? I may have turned the apartment into that..this isn’t a joke, btw. the floor is sticky.

[text]: I bought too much soap off etsy and now I don’t know what to do with it…I smell like Captain America.

[text]: On a scale of one to ten, how many drinks would you need to sleep with me? This isn’t a tiktok trend…or it is.

[antipersonal]

𝐂𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐒 𝐄𝐕𝐀𝐍𝐒 as 𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐕𝐄 𝐑𝐎𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐒/𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐀

in The Avengers: Infinity War.

[antipersonal]

John rolled his eyes, the motion sharp and unconvincing, shaking off something he couldn't put a finger on. If one lukewarm compliment was enough to make him strangely giddy, he was truly in dire straits.

"I've got a good memory," he muttered, eyes flicking away. "And I like knowing what weird shit I'm gonna be dealing with before I meet new people."

John's brow furrowed slightly as he took a half step to the side, more to keep from fidgeting than to give her space. "A lot of your file looked like it lost a fight with a Sharpie, though. Redacted to hell. So I don't know that much."

He paused, voice dipping lower-- not defensive, just… puzzled. "What do you mean by 'decades'? They put you on ice like Barnes?"

A beat. Then quieter, almost sheepish: "You don't gotta tell me anything if it's not, y'know, relevant. Just-- stood out, is all. Not a lot of parents in this kinda work, obviously."

Naux tucked her loose hair behind her ears, inhaled deeply, then accepted the hand offered to her. His assistance wasn't strictly necessary, but given that he'd already extended his hand, it would have been unspeakably cold to leave it hanging. "Truly, I endeavor not to." She patted herself down and delicately cleared her throat. "Only doing what a hero ought to."

Oh. That rhymed. How droll. Did it undermine what was supposed to sound very cool? Maybe he didn't notice. It didn't matter much; it wasn't as though she was trying to impress him. After the job, they would likely never speak again. This wasn't typically how she paid the bills—but it was more legal than most forms of theft. She wasn't exactly in a position to say no.

Hands on hips, Naux stood fixed to the spot. All she needed was a moment. If she didn't move, she didn't hurt. Not nearly as much, anyway. "Well...you're not calling me Chrononautica, are you?" The corners of her lips shifted upward only slightly.

"It was years ago, from your perspective. Decades from mine." Damn. She was old. Better start walking. "The name never quite stuck." A pause. "You know I was a sailor, do you not?" She didn't actually know what was in her file. "A pity Stark never reached out to me. With a time traveling yacht, I'd have been unstoppable." There wasn't much she would actually be able to do with it, but the concept was interesting enough. Maybe it would have become her base of operations. There was more leeway at sea.

"Aye, three kids." She peered at him curiously. "You are a good reader. Excellent attention to detail." Her chin raised, perhaps just a tad haughtily, but despite her pain, her mouth twisted into an amused smirk. "Is this your gambit to impress me, sir? Or do you remember this much about everyone?"

[antipersonal]

"You're not bleeding to death," John pointed out, thumb pressing absently into the ridge of her shoulder. "So. Mission success. You're welcome."

The stiff and halting edge in her voice was an unconfortable mirror to his own, but he held his tongue while she forced the words out. He was quiet a second longer than was comfortable-- it wasn't that he didn't have anything to say; he had too much, and a tendency to spit it out too fast like he was trying out outpace his brain.

He didn't think she needed protecting, even conisdering the thought left a bitter taste in his mouth-- John would've done it for any of them (maybe too willingly) but on some uncomfortable-to-acknowledge level, none of them were like her. They bounced back. Regrew bones. Phased through bullets. Cracked pavement when they landed. As skilled as she was, Yelena was the only one on the team without a safety net built into her DNA.

Maybe it made him selfish, or weak, or paranoid. But sometimes it felt like he was the only one who was scared of that. His eyes narrowed. You're going soft, Johnny.

"If that bullet had gone three inches to the side, we wouldn't be having this conversation," he said, voice clipped, trying and failing to keep it level. "So maybe next time lock in and don't make me drag you out while you bleed all over my suit. I'll do it. Every time. But don't make me."

He risked a glance down at her, where she'd half-sunk into herself --fighting the exhaustion or the pain or both-- and in the sullen quiet that followed, he found he couldn't really stay angry.

"Val said they'd bench me if I didn't go to therapy," John said suddenly, conspiratorial, leaning in like they were kids swapping secrets at a sleepover. Without ceremony he let go long enough to tug a strand of her hair with his bloodstained fingers, just enough to be annoying.

"So you're not the only one who fuckin' sucks at this."

"Would have figured you'd be better at knowing when to shut up," Yelena snapped. "So I guess we're both learning new things about each other." Every word felt worse, but her arm was throbbing, and shutting up felt like it would take far too much energy. "Of course I'm dizzy, Walker. Did you miss the part where I got shot?" A glance at her arm, then at him, then at the ceiling, where she let her eyes list half-shut.

Maybe it wasn't bad. She'd certainly said worse to him (had she apologized?) But it wasn't fair, she knew. Not when things - the team, the job, them, even - had finally been coalescing into something stable in a way she hadn’t know since buckeyes and scraped knees and Nat’s shitty Kool-aid dye jobs. Not when the only steady thing in the room was his hand on her shoulder. She didn't know what to do with that, the way it sat under her ribs.

"It's not blood." Yelena said abruptly, jaw working. "I'm great with blood.“ She exhaled something adjacent to a laugh, but far too tired to actually be one. “I don’t - “ Yelena swallowed, raked her free hand back the back through her hair. Opened her mouth and closed it again. “You know, I tell Bob this shit all the time - it’s okay, talk about it - but me? I am terrible at it.” She shook her head, then winced as the motion set off pops of white in her vision. It was a convenient enough reason to close her eyes again, so she could pretend this didn’t feel like showing her throat.

Without him, she would be dead, or holed up somewhere, using her t-shirt as a tourniquet. She wasn’t.

“You got me out.” Not quite a thank you.

[antipersonal]

Made it all the way to work and realized I forgot my cyanide pill in case of capture

[antipersonal]

(( do you think your muse listens to asmr or nah. i think walker is like why would i want to listen to people chew their food you're insane and then puts on Satisfying Furniture Restorations Compilation One Hour No Talking and falls asleep on the couch w his arms crossed like a dad ))