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during sex

girlfriend: why are u laughing

me: thought of a meme

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┉ ✕. || STARTER CALL.

ya gal here is,,, the worst ?? it’s been such a bad week for me, and i haven’t been on at all alwdfkjfas. but i figured it was time to put on my big girl pants and force myself to write some starters regardless !! so like this bad boy of a post and i’ll whip up a random starter for us. if you want something less superficial and more catered to our muses, please lmk and we can discuss it via mssgs ! (i’ll respond either here or discord, but discord gives me major anxiety rip so i’ll probably answer here first lmao :-))

also sorry i’m such a coconut of a human ??? i’m as bad at keeping decent fast activity as tom holland is at keeping marvel secrets kergjhsekrgshe. 

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savenkov.

though it nearly pained her to admit it, barbara was almost enjoying herself thus far in the investigation to avenge alexis. she knew this wasn’t even close to a situation she should be finding pleasant, but she couldn’t help the wave of relief she felt every time she was faced with the task of discussing the details of she and giselle’s quite intricate circumstances. before meeting the investigators of her case face-to-face, barbara had been uncharacteristically jittery, uncomfortable with the possibility that those assigned to this specific quest wouldn’t be understanding of the complexity of the relationship that she has with giselle; upon consulting anton, however, all of her worries melted away into a far-off dream within moments of their first encounter. he was relatively easy to converse with, and barbara sensed intuition and compassion in him, so the decision to invite him over to her apartment to discuss the technicalities of their case was effortless.

she’d tidied up her abode even more-so than usual – daisies were stationed in a vase on her spotless kitchen counter, strategically placed next to a toasty plate of cookies ( after debating for nearly forty-five minutes, barbara had made the executive decision to bake both chocolate chip and sugar cookies, just in case anton had a preference ). the tedious act of making sure everything was in just the right place made it that much more painless to welcome her guest into her home when she heard the knock on the door. she offered him an authentic and blindingly bright grin as soon as she laid eyes on him before pulling him into a tight hug without hesitation. “ no password, but i wouldn’t mind a second look at that card if you deem me worthy. you did say it was pretty rare or something of the sort, yes ? ” she granted him a playful wink, stepping aside to allow him access to her entryway. “ anyways, come in, come in ! it’s so nice to see you again – thank you so much for picking up a case as complex as ours. i know it probably didn’t seem all that appealing, so i really appreciate your kindness. i owe you one, truly ! ”

as the door opened before him, anton couldn’t help but inhale sharply. a little mantra ran about his head like a uppy in an expansive yard — wwndd, which translates to ‘what would nancy drew do ?’ it was an interesting question, as anton curiously balanced on the tightrope of professionalism as he proudly fished for the card inside his wallet. “pretty rare’s an understatement. see this, this card is lit ! literally !” anton beamed, showing off his first edition charizard in all its’ glory. anton then pursed his lips into a line and began wondering where he should begin drawing this line, as he nodded at the host. “... ma’am.” 

smiling kindly at his client, the brunette took a moment to take in the other’s apartment. he wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but this certainly wasn’t it. despite the facade of the building, this room was somehow... beautiful. flowers littered the space and made anton feel like he had fallen into a special florist for one .he also couldn’t help but eye up the food on the bench, but figured be better retain what semblance of professionalism he had left. he was here to solve a case, after all. “no need to thank me, miss ! and i wanna state for the record, the reason i requested this private interview wasn’t to separate and divide you and miss o’connor. giselle. your pal. we,” anton gestured around him, as if to point to an invisible artemis, “believe that recollecting is much easier with as little interference as possible. hence here i am.” anton couldn’t believe he was ever nervous, and he kindly smiled at barbara as his eyes lit up with the thousands of possibilities this interview could provide. he was anxious to get some new leads and clues to solve the mystery. “if you’re ready to start though, i do have a few questions. but only if you’re ready !”

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fredstvr.

*   a  closed  starter     /     @antonisms.

    a whirlwind of stifled laughter  &  sickly sweet grins sweeps into the library to surround a certain van dalen boy she’d been missing terribly for the past few hours  ,  trapping his waist in a circle at first with a rushed apology to the librarian   ,   can i borrow him for a minute  ? she laughs once more  ,  a lie   .  he’s never coming back if she can help it   .  thanks  !    his wrist comes next  ,  tugged at  &  pulled out of the door into the city with a bright day ahead of him  ;  their steps are rushed with nothing but laughter -  effervescent  ,  confusing but there’s a sweet thrill  -  and then all slows into a halt once they’d made it a couple of blocks away .  her grasp doesn’t linger  &  she almost backs away but her shoes shift and dance on the pavement  .  she’s lighter than usual today  .  what could it be  ,  freda wonders herself .  ‘  nothing  !  ’  she confesses with a giant sigh  ,  still grinning  &  lets their shoulders bump  ;  physical affection ,  yuck !  ‘  do i have to be up to something  ?  me  ?   noooo .  ’  she lets out a fake gasp  ,  feigning victimhood but still suppresses a smirk through her theatricals.  she’s not up to anything  ,  really  —  but she could be  ,  if he dared her  .

the scent of moth eaten books and antiquity had encapsulated anton for what seemed like hours  .  each moment however fell into synchronicity when a familiar hand wrapped around his wrist  ,  & he knew wherever he was about to be led was better than any place he was going to end up on his own  .  he was even lackadaisical towards leaving his case work for the afternoon  ...  only someone truly special could have that effect on the smitten van dalen  .  with cries of  ‘  help  ,  i’m being kidnapped  !!  ’  &   ‘  finally  ,  she couldn’t resist me any longer  !!  ’   freda finally managed to remove anton from the library without either sustaining a lifelong ban  .  that was helpful  .  the two kept as close proximity as possible walking out  (  which was of course  ,  necessary  )  ,  & anton felt his eyes tethered to freda as his heart swelled acted normally as questions swirled around his mind  .  ‘ it would be a great disservice if you weren’t up to something  ,  your skills in messing about are unparalleled  .  ’  anton quipped  ,  quirking an eyebrow at his  ‘  friend  ’  .  ‘  pressure’s on now though  ,  marlon  . what’ve you got for me  ?  ’

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if this ain’t anton

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┉ ✕. || @savenkov.

" you can do this, you can do this, ” anton was stationed in front of an unassuming door, in an assuming apartment complex, in an unassuming part of town. for five minutes he was talking himself up to knock on the door and become the second best detective the world had ever seen, only second to his personal idol nancy drew. however he couldn’t help but be nervous for his first solo venture as a detective. he’d met barbara, and giselle, and with artemis by his side he felt more confident than ever that he could solve this case. but now that it was one-on-one, anton couldn’t help but grow anxious at the fact that he may have shed his training wheels a little too early. 

“ just do this, just do this...” he mumbled to himself, still staring at the door with his fist raised to knock. a stranger in hallway passed him and frowned at the brunette, where anton cunningly retorted “ not sponsored by nike ! nothing to see here ! ” as conspicious as he was, anton eventually shrugged away the nerves by knocking on the door of his client’s door. tapping an uneven tune onto the frame, anton smiled for the small peep-hole at the base of the door. “ wait, did we have a password ? i can prove it’s me, i have the pokemon card i showed you when we first met !! ”

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┉ ✕. || @artvmiis

fumbling with keys in his pocket and carrying two boxes of pizza in one hand, it would be imprudent to say anton didn’t look like those stereotypical waiter statues. as he managed to balance his food and dig through his jeans for his key card, anton was given the green light as he entered the hotel. it was only ten pm, but it may have well of been midnight. the concierge was long gone from reception, the lobby was empty, and all anton could hear was the faint sound of static from someone’s television set. with artemis spending the night with sid, anton was actually looking forward to spending his first night alone since coming to the paracosm. he had ‘ big ’ plans ahead for the night. most of them involved food. 

riding in a vacant elevator and letting the aroma of the pizza tease his stomach, anton swore the very rumble almost shook the elevator. of course no one could prove it, but anton knew in his heart that he was right. the arduous ride finally came to a stop , and the second it did anton was on his floor as he bolted towards his room. not bothering to knock because he knew he had the place to himself, anton threw himself inside the room only to be paralysed once his eyes gravitated to a figure that had beat him inside. 

it seemed artemis hadn’t gone to sid’s, and now sat in their shared room. anton looked down to the pizza and back to artemis with a convincing smile and a loud stomach. although he was happy to have artemis’ company... he may not have been as happy to share the food. but she’d never know, as he offered up a slice to her immediately. “guess who’s the best roomie that brought brain food ? that’s right, your ol’ pal anton did ! that’s right ! me ! to share ! that was the intention ! pizza !”

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┉ ✕. ||  @sidcnie

since arriving at the paracosm, anton hadn’t hesitated to waste spend his time delving into the lore of his case file and investigating around sycamore, deatree, and anywhere else he thought he could find even the smallest morsels of information regarding his hosts or case. but due to his foolhardy nature and inability to consider that unlike the hosts, he was human, the sleep deprivation was starting to erode the delicately cultivated threads of logic that governed his actions. so when anton saw his childhood best friend sidonie walking ahead of him on the busy street, his immediate thought wasn’t ‘go up and greet her like a normal person’, no, instead he decided to run forward with his arms behind him like an anime character before his ankle wrapped around a fire hydrant and sent him flying to the ground. groaning, he rolled over and looked up at sid, already predicating her exasperated reaction. still, anton beamed his most charming smile towards his best friend and shrugged as much as he could in his slug-like position, as he remained anchored to the concrete. his nose was probably bleeding, people were probably staring at them, the people in the paracosm hq would be shaking their heads, but all anton could think about was trying to convince sid that he wasn’t a complete idiot.

“ i know what you’re think and no, that was not... the traditional greeting for people in sycamore. usually you do a flip before faceplanting into the concrete. i was so close to looking like a local ! ”

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// sorry for ugly formatting bc im on mobile. also sorry i haven’t been on in a bit !! i was too tired to reply to messages last night and i was working this morning, and im on lunch break atm. ill be free in a couple of hours and i promise to reply to messages and be active again. so sorry again loves !! :-)

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> anton escaping the “shrussyhq gc, 2017″

waddup folks and egg yolks, it’s your third fave aussie, lilac, bringing to you straight from her batcave, smol lil anton van dalen !! (i s2g batcave isn’t a euphemism alright, i just hide in my room from the harsh rays of the SUN). click that readmore to learn more about everyone’s fave short meme boi.

warning: this intro is going be le terrible™ however anton is the light of my life so at least respect the poor lil bean here ?? i have condensed my app into this intro essentially but if you want LONG AND UNENDING sentences, be sure to check out his bio page :-) there’s plenty more hcs there too so if you wanna know more,,, anyways. onto the actual intro !

BEFORE HE WAS COOL // history.

lil anton (or ant, antonini, tony, antony ?? i really should have thought about this smh) was born second child to angelica and eric van dalen !! the first boy to the family, and at the time, much loved.

with two wealthy parents, anton never worried about much (except his pet plants which he always killed rip). he p much always got what he wanted, and spent most of his time in his parent’s finely curated library in the back of their mcmansion. life was swell for the young boy

a few years later anton (and his older sister annaleise) were given a younger brother, and that changed everything. it was at van dalen three that eric and angelica realised they were completely indifferent to each other, and were far more career orientated than family orientated. so the three kids from that point grew up under the influences of nanny after nanny, each other, and whatever tv character they idolised at the time (you bet your ass anton went through a pokemon phase.... and many others !! paracosmshq task one, identify one of anton’s childhood phases.)

despite their parents being somewhat absent as they were growing up (angelica was a doctor and eric a lawyer), they both put a lot of pressure on the van dalen kids to do well in school and out-perform everyone. built on competition and image, it was stifling for a young anton to confORm to what his parents wanted him to be. not the polite and well-mannered genius they had hoped, anton was instead a loud-mouthed and curious child who always got himself into trouble, made a fool of himself in front of his peers, and ran off constantly. it wasn’t long before anton became anton van burden, and his parents were sick of his... antics *ba-dum-tss*

but the truth ??? anton wasn’t trying to cause trouble for anyone, he was just a free spirit. he liked making people laugh, and he loved exploring places he’d never been. unfortunately his gregarious and comical ways weren’t appeasing to his family, and for many years he was shamed for being who he was, aka a normal human bean.

the older anton got, the more insecure he became as his parents constantly tried to change anton to fit into their family dynamic more. his other siblings had already gotten with the program, so anton was the odd one out. it didn’t help that when anton was younger, he was very awkward looking too. he was short, he had big ears, and his weight was disproportionate to his body. this meant he was bullied at school,,, a lot

going to a fancy college for all his childhood schooling, anton was stuck with the same donkeys his entire life. at first the vivacious and extroverted joker, the older he got the more he was worn down by the people around him, and he secluded himself and spent most of his time writing and reading, with only like, one close friend :(

it wasn’t until his sister moved out that anton was like “you know what,,, i am in charge of MY LIFE” and decided he was sick of what his parents thought, and flipped them off essentially

he started working out and my boy got ripped

he also began suppressing those insecurities and began socialising with the mass populace of his school once more. he took his mantle as the class clown and finger-gunned his way up the social hierarchy

graduating the top of his class, the most surprising thing happened,,, what ? ANTON is evolving ! the ugly duckling had become the swan, the caterpillar had become the butterfly. anton had finally reached his final form.

the second he finished high school, anton had never felt better ?? so the second he could he put in his application to any uni that was on the other side of the country so he could truly have a fresh start

although anton wasn’t allowed to pursue writing like he wanted, he fell in love with criminal psychology and criminal law, which was [hannah montana vc] the best of both worlds for him (he may have gained his independence but he was still a pushover ok lmao) 

now he’s a regular dude bro that runs a meme page and does his best to make others smile :-) 

anton van dalen: writes his dissertation on how memes affect the criminal psyche 

WHY HE IS CURRENTLY COOL // personality and stuff.

if you saw anton’s stats on the main,,, you’ll know what he’s like

he’s a DREAMER with DANK MEMES and NO SENSE OF DIRECTION

he’s constantly off in his own lil world and is sort of,,, just rolling through, one jape at a time

his intentions are pure and he can be a lil naive bc negativity ?? not in front of his salad !!

one of his many flaws tho is that he can’t take things v seriously,,, the second things get tense, he’ll make some joke. there’s a dead body ? knock knock joke. someone going through a break up ? an inappropriate pun. generally having a bad time ? here’s a meme

he’s also a complete IDIOT ??? like,, he wants to be indiana jones and his clumsy ass will probably end up falling off a balcony as he tries to tarzan swing from one place to another not unlike spiderman tbh

HE’S A DIRECT DESCENDANT OF SPORTACUS I DON’T MAKE THE RULES

also you want an impromptu song and dance sequence ?? anton’s your mans !! karaoke nights, jamming to sick bops and high school musical re-enactment is anton’s number One (1) pastime. 

if he’s not hanging with pals, he’ll have his nose in a book and !! give him all the adventures !! #nerd

honestly anton is the biggest yes man ever and he is super trusting ?? ask him for anything, and you’ll have it within minutes. he’s also disney trash and a hopeless romantic,,, sighs. when will he LEARN

one of anton’s many hobbies is magic ??? yes, he legit is a magician in his off time. at this point he’s still doing card tricks and making flowers come from hats, but he’s learning !! (he’s such a dork ok don’t say i didn’t warn u)

y’know what im leaving this here i want the last hc to be the one above k BYE

HOW YOU’LL BE COOL IF YOU’RE NEAR HIM // plots.

tbh i don’t have many plots in mind yet bc the connections are so damn juicy and i love chemistry based threads ?? BUT i still love plotting and at some point i will most likely slide into your ims (and onto an actual slide of the water variety bc its summer here and im CRISPIN) 

i actually do have a wanted plots page though ! it’s not very good lmao but,, it’s there. check it out !! (or not i can’t tell you what to do. or can i ??? nah probably not rip).

i’m gonna end this travesty of an intro here but if you’ve read this far ?? thank you ! can’t wait to mssg y’all and start this rp. it’s gonna be great. :~)

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when ur a pos and have terrible time management skills. the intro will be up later tonight i swear. if not.. punch me.

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fredstvr replied to your post: // me on my way to discord hq to fite them for...

IS IT STILL BEIN A SHITHEAD 2 U WHERE THE FAWK U @

ill be honest with you,,, discord was still being an Ass™ for like 20 mins but then i sat down and ate a whole packet of oreos for like an hour so

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// me on my way to discord hq to fite them for eating all my replies

ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

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