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[anxresi]

Check out Chloe's 'new design'...

... According to a post on X by Thomas 'born liar' Asruc.

His idea of a joke, I guess... are all French people this funny?

Personally, I think it looks more like Zoe...

The same way Soquerline was the spitting image of Marinette.

Do these character designers have ANY imagination? AT ALL?

Seriously. I want to know. This is not a rhetorical question.

And allegedly, she has prosphetic legs! So of course, she's a track star. Normally, I'd applaud the oft-neglected representation...

But this is Miraculous Ladybug we're talking about here.

I guarantee it'll be badly-written, self-congratulatory pandering to those undemanding types for whom just SEEING a character with them is enough.

I have a simple statement to throw to these tragically easily-impressed individuals...

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, GET SOME STANDARDS!!

Remember when they made Zoe and Miss Bustier gay out of nowhere? (for no reason than to make these unpopular character likeable to certain communities) .

Remember when they made an entire episode about 'racism'? (where no-one faced any consequences at the end, and no-one could even say the word).

Remember when they finished the last season with an unbelievably clunky message about recycling? (like they recycle the worst parts from other formulaic superhero shows, I guess).

It's all about the optics, nothing else... and you don't have to be a born cynic to see it that way.

They could care less about the underlying issues, they just want to tick as many 'fashionable cause' boxes as they can in lieu of making a good show.

Don't believe me? Here's a few predictions for you.

Feel free to come back after it's aired to tell me how correct I was.

*After this girl's introduction, we will NEVER see her again.

*Her ENTIRE persona will be based around her 'disability', and her personality and popularity will put Zoe's to shame to 'compensate' for it.

*She'll get akumatised, and it'll stem from a lack of confidence due to you-know-what. Afterwards, she'll learn to accept herself more, and...

Look, does anyone else feel somewhat insulted, looking at the patronising tripe the writers look like they're going to be serving us up with in the future?

S5 was bad enough, but the next one looks like they're REALLY doubling down on giving us superficial 'life lessons' instead of a half decent story.

Believe it or not (and you wouldn't by watching this shallow load of condescending trash) there IS a way to squeeze a satisfying plot and well-drawn characters around a healthy message that DOESN'T bash you over the head with it's self-worthiness repeatedly in every painful scene.

In case you hadn't noticed, Miraculous Ladybug isn't that show (CHLOE BAD, anyone?).

And, if you think I'm a heartless bigot for pointing out the highly obvious agenda of the shameless charlatans behind Miraculous Ladybug, then you're an idiot.

And you really need to reread my post again, more carefully this time.

Here, I'll even start you off from the right spot. 'Check Out Chloe's New...'

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Someone asked me thru message if I'd watched the new Miraculous London Special...

...And, being the fool I was, I assumed this was because Chloe might be featured in it. Whoops.

Anyway with a bit (read: lots) of difficulty I managed to find it, and was it worth the effort?

Does Ladybug have stripes?

It was entirely based around the S5 finale (which was terrible) gave Ladybug an opponent where it was virtually IMPOSSIBLE to lose (talk about infinite lives) and barely had any other character in it at all apart from the terminally dull Marinette & Alix (Zzz).

If they were trying to make Cerise (The Villain Formely Known As Lila) into an intimidating villain, well... it kinda fell flat. I will note however, that Mr Astruc continues his grudge against blonde teenage girls. Who hurt you, baby?!

Oh, and what the heck is a Chromo... you know what, don't bother.

The ONLY thing I liked about it was the line 'I feel like I did this ten years ago' when Ladybug was putting her earrings on from the pilot.

Someone must have written that uncharacteristically clever snatch of dialogue for Thomas while he napped on his moneybags. Maybe... it was a ghost?

So in short, in may have been CALLED the London special... but we got precious little of this city in the special proper... no Buckingham Palace, no Trafalgar Square, not even Big Ben.

BIG BEN for goodness sake. Practically sacrilege.

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Already a beautiful garden... then you add a cat... purr-fection :)

Study of a cat I once saw in Sopot, Poland.

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Bill? Showing a brief moment of remorsefulness?

NAH! And I wouldn't have it any other way. :p

i wanted to show them the stars.

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Safe to say, almost ANY of the AUs would be better than what we actually got.

To mess up such a 'foolproof' concept though, takes some real talent for heedless vandalism. Top marks, Mister Astruc. :D

Chloé & Marinette. Pop-star au!

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Chloe is quoting me after enduring the first half of S4 (before I quit). If I'd actually suffered thru S5, my words might've been a trifle harsher. ^^

I think the difference between Chloé and Zoé as bee miraculous holders is they'd both reference it, but in GREATLY different ways.

Chloé would be all about glam, high fashion looks that really emphasise the 'queen' part of Queen Bee. Lots of gold and black, lots of stripes, the HEIGHT of fashion but with a bee-inspired twist.

Zoé loves bright colours and is a total theatre kid. She'd wear a LOT of saturated yellows, and a lot shirts with bee puns. Her favourite bag is definitely a mini backpack from Loungefly that's got little cartoony bee wings, and she definitely wears it everywhere.

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Chloe if she was allowed to dress herself and not be forced to wear the same garish outfit every single week for animation budgetary reasons... probably.

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I THOUGHT it might be Soos who stumps up the cash, because no way Stan 'I sleep with my wallet in my stinky boxer shorts so no-one touches it' would pay them a dime... :p

Guess who shows up in this chapter! With a ✨summer job✨!

Unlearning the "act like a rich snob" instinct is an ongoing process.

Here's "Bill is the Mystery Shack's extremely sulky prisoner" chapter 10, featuring: a haunted living doll, a trip to Greasy's, Bill acting like a playground bully, and the twins figuring out how they feel about another summer of triangle bullshit. Other chapters here.

####

Late in the morning, Mabel came home from a sleepover at Candy's. She went to the upstairs bathroom to shower.

The bathroom looked like a salon got in a fight with Bill's hair and won. The wet floor was coated in shorn golden locks like fallen soldiers. The air reeked of hair treatment chemicals and sick. There was a towel smeared with blood.

Maybe she'd brush her teeth downstairs and shower later.

She fished her toothbrush out of her sleepover bag, gingerly plucked the toothpaste from the sink, and retreated.

Bill's nest by the attic window seat was abandoned. In his place were half a dozen empty cans of hard cider and a sandwich with three bites taken out of it.

Mabel descended the stairs warily.

Soos's blanket of the anti-Bill zodiac no longer hung on the living room wall. 

Mabel moved on to the downstairs half-bath. She pulled aside the doorway curtain.

There, sitting in the dark, curled into a ball in the small space between the sink and the toilet, was a human shape. Draped over it was Soos's zodiac blanket. The head of the thing under the blanket lifted and blindly turned toward the sound of Mabel drawing the curtain. The zodiac was positioned just right so that the image of Bill Cipher covered the hidden face like a mask. The false Bill stared into Mabel's eyes.

Mabel quietly backed out of the bathroom. She let the curtain fall shut.

She stood in the hallway, hand to her chin, contemplating the omens she'd witnessed.

She said, "Something happened last night."

####

Less than a week into summer vacation, Dipper and Mabel had seen every single movie currently playing. (They'd even seen the R movies, after getting advice from Jeff on how to convincingly pull off the "two kids in a trench coat" gambit. Thompson made direct eye contact with Dipper in the theater lobby. He said nothing.)

They'd hung out with all their friends, had at least one meal over at each of their houses, and caught up on a school year's worth of gossip. Mabel had sleepovers nearly every night, alternating between Grenda's and Candy's houses. Even Dipper had voluntarily subjected himself to an evening of aggressive girliness in order to tag along for one of the sleepovers. (They'd probably only gotten permission because Grenda's mother assumed "Mabel's twin" must be a sister.)

They found a fairy ring in the forest that connected to a crop circle in Wiltshire, England. They discovered a crane game at the mall that was full of haunted dolls. They took Waddles for a walk and had to save him from a cult of feral flower children that wanted to sacrifice him to their love shack.

In other words, they did everything they could think of to avoid home.

When they were in the Mystery Shack, they were either in their bedroom or using the bathroom. They avoided the kitchen and living room as much as they could, and they fell silent when they heard the floor creaking outside their room, in case of an eavesdropper. They tiptoed whenever they had to go near Bill's nest by the attic window seat to reach the stairs. They grew accustomed to strange thuds and quickly cut-off arguments, although they never became comfortable with them. They got used to waking up afraid.

The plague of hair was new; but it was, they had to agree, exactly the kind of thing they expected at this point.

"You could collect some of the hair," Dipper's haunted porcelain doll suggested. "You could make a poppet. It would let you control him. I could teach you how. All you need is that hair, five black candles, a doll—"

"Nope," Dipper said. He was getting dressed in their bedroom alcove with the curtain drawn. "You're always trying to make more haunted dolls, Bartholomew, and the answer's always no!"

"It won't be haunted!" Bartholomew insisted. "Honest! I promise! Not initially. Until you use it to kill Bill."

"Listen, young man." Mabel scooped the porcelain doll up from the cardboard cradle she'd made for him. "We've told you, we can't kill Bill until we know it won't cause the apocalypse. Do you want the world to end?"

Bartholomew let out the longest, heaviest sigh that had ever come out of a doll with an unmoving face. "No. I don't."

"That's right. So reign in that bloodthirst, Barty!"

"Ugh. Fine."

"Good!" She set Bartholomew back down.

Dipper asked, "Could we use a poppet to control him in non-fatal ways, though?"

"Oh, yeah, sure. Torture it, restrain it, freeze it, burn it, cast spells on it, soak it in lemon juice, throw it in the dryer—hey, that one's really funny—"

Dipper pulled aside the curtain and looked at Mabel. "Maybe a poppet wouldn't be a bad idea. In case Bill tries anything."

They collected the biggest, healthiest lock of hair they could find off the bathroom floor, stuck it in a sandwich bag they found at the bottom of Dipper's backpack, stored the bag in the backpack, and left the house to look for brunch.

####

Dipper and Mabel had been putting off visiting Greasy's Diner as long as possible, hoping that at least Grunkle Stan could come along for their first visit of the summer, if not the whole Pines family; but after coping with another morning of Bill-related nonsense, and hearing from Soos that Stan and Ford had also been up half the night dealing with said nonsense and would probably sleep in, they decided they really needed to visit somewhere as comforting and familiar as possible. And so, off they went to Greasy's. Lazy Susan warmly greeted them, asked when Stan would come by, showed them to a booth, and then left them with a couple of menus and their glum thoughts.

"Dipper?" Mabel spun the laminated menu on the table top. "You remember how at the start of last summer, we just thought Grunkle Stan was some weird smelly old guy and we wanted to do anything except hang out with him?"

"Ugh, don't remind me. If this was last year, I'd be sweeping up dead hair instead of getting breakfast right now." He laughed weakly; but he knew that wasn't what Mabel was getting at. "This is even worse, isn't it."

She stopped spinning her menu to look across the table at Dipper. "We still haven't spent any real time with Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford, but this time I feel all guilty about it."

"I'm pretty sure they feel guilty about it, too."

"It's not their fault, though."

It wasn't Dipper and Mabel's fault, either, but pointing that out wouldn't help. Dipper felt like they'd callously abandoned their grunkles in Bill-infested territory while they ran off to have fun. The fact Stan and Ford kept telling the kids that they wanted them to have fun didn't lessen the feeling that they were traitors. "Grunkle Stan did say we could take a fishing trip once everyone's figured out the best... guard schedule."

"I know, but there's still..." Mabel waved a hand in vague circles. "All this. I almost feel like..."

She didn't want to say out loud that she wanted to go home; saying it would start tilting their course in that direction. If she said it, and if she found out that Dipper agreed, then it might come true. And nothing would be worse than that.

Dipper didn't want to say it, either. "This won't be all summer," he said. "Grunkle Ford's already got a weapon that can get rid of B—Goldie's body and whatever's inside of it, no matter if he's human or alien. It's just out of fuel. He only needs enough to take one shot, and then the rest of our summer goes back to normal. Right?"

Mabel took a moment too long to reply. "Right," she said. "It's that quantum jumbo-laser thing you told me about, right?"

"Yeah, the quantum destabilizer."

"How long will it take him to get the fuel it needs?" Mabel asked. "Is there anything we can do? I hate just having to... steer around everything while the grown-ups try to deal with it without us."

"Yeah. So do I."

Before Dipper had to admit that he didn't know what it would take to refuel the quantum destabilizer, someone approached the table. "Hey, I'll be your waitress this morning. Do you guys have any questions about the menu, or..." The waitress trailed off in horror as she registered her guests' faces. "Oh no."

Dipper and Mabel gaped. "Pacifica?!"

She hid her face behind her notebook. "Don't say anything. Do not say anything."

"You work here?" Mabel asked, followed immediately by Dipper, "You work?"

Pacifica's cheeks flushed. "Don't make a big deal out of it okay! I'm not, like, working-working! I'm just—making some pocket money, that's all!"

"That's working-working," Mabel said.

"Pacifica—" Dipper had to choke back a laugh at the absurd sight. She was wearing normal people clothes. She was wearing an apron. "What."

"Okay, look!" She slapped her notebook on the table. "It's not like I'm poor or anything? But after we built a smaller manor, my parents slashed my allowance—my wardrobe budget only covers a new summer/spring wardrobe instead of summer and spring wardrobes—and like... it's hard, okay? So I'm just—doing a few odd little gigs or whatever. To keep up with my hobbies! That's it."

Dryly, Dipper said, "Wow. Earning money if you want to buy things."

"It must be so hard." Mabel was doing a slightly less successful job of maintaining a poker face.

"Oh, whatever! You two just don't appreciate the value of hard work." Over Dipper and Mabel's giggles, Pacifica stuck her nose in the air and went on, "I'm investing in my future. I'm picking up part-time jobs while you two are spending your summer goofing off! It's like you're saying you don't want to have money."

Dipper and Mabel exchanged a glance. Mabel said, "Soos said he'll pay us $20 an hour to help in the gift shop."

"He what?!" Pacifica's jaw dropped. "Shut up! There is no way that cheesy tourist trap can afford those kinds of wages! Is it even legal for Soos to hire you! Aren't you, like, thirteen!"

Dipper said, "Aren't you thirteen?"

Pacifica huffed. "Never mind, I don't even care about your dumb job! This isn't even my main income stream. I've got this great modeling gig coming up with a huge paycheck, so—forget you you guys!" She flipped her hair and stomped off.

And immediately stomped back. "I forgot to take your orders."

"Pancakes." "Also pancakes."

"Fine." She re-flipped her hair and stomped off.

Mabel leaned across the table to whisper to Dipper, "Wow, the return of Rudy McSnootypants! Did she switch from acting snobby over being rich to acting snobby over being working class?"

"She's probably just embarrassed," Dipper said. "She's actually been pretty cool the last few months. When we play Bloodcraft together, she's... I mean, okay, during PVP matches she's the rudest person you've ever met, and she's the worst to healers—but she's nice enough outside of that."

"Oh, yeah." Mabel grinned. "Guess she never mentioned her new job while you guys were playing, huh?"

"Nope."

"You're probably right! She was nice when I talked to her about making her blanket. She even shipped new materials to me when she wanted alpaca yarn instead of acrylic."

Dipper laughed, "Wow, I can't believe Pacifica had to get a job just to afford your blanket."

"What can I say, I'm a master artisan!"

Pacifica returned, set down two plates of pancakes and two sodas, and said, "This is a bribe. Free drinks all summer if you don't tell anybody else about this. The only reason my friends don't know is because they wouldn't be caught dead here. They cannot find out."

Mabel considered the offer. "Free drinks and dessert."

Pacifica bounced a heel as she considered the offer. "Only out of the half-off day-old pie case."

"That sounds fair."

"Okay. Deal. Um, thanks." Pacifica turned to go, then paused. "Hey, Dipper. Your uncles don't use the Internet, right? Does that mean you won't be available for Bloodcraft this summer?"

"Soos finally got the shack online. He says the Internet goes out when the weather's eldritch, but I can borrow his computer for our guild's weekly raids. He understands how important it is."

Pacifica's eyes lit up. "Cool. Then I'll see you on raid night."

"Yeah! See you then."

Pacifica left to tend to another table, and Dipper said, "Yeah, she was just embarrassed. She's fine. ... Why are you smiling."

"Weekly raids? Am I gonna have to warn Kelsey about Pacifica—?"

"Mabel!" Dipper's face flushed. "Come on, we're not—! Worry about your own love life. We've almost been here a week, haven't you found a new crush yet?"

"I've decided love will find me when it finds me. For now, I'm focusing on my matchmaking services."

"Well! Make a match somewhere else."

"You're sooo red right now. Bop." Mabel leaned across the table to poke Dipper's nose, then dug into her pancakes. "You know... even with everything going on—I'm glad we're here. Think! If we'd gone home as soon as we found out we'd be stuck with him all summer, we'd never have found out Pacifica is a waitress. Or met Barty-Mew! Mew-mew. Meow."

"So that makes it worth it, huh?"

"Yes! Being around our friends! Being part of their lives again. I don't want to miss out on that because I'm—afraid. Do you?"

Dipper half smiled. "No. I don't. If we were home, I'd just be missing Gravity Falls, and still worrying about him. At least here, we can keep an eye on him."

"Yeah!" Mabel beamed. "We got off to a little bit of a rocky start, but this summer's gonna be great! And there's nothing he can do to stop it! Right?" She offered her fist.

"Right." Dipper fistbumped her.

####

Stan and Ford were worrying over coffee mugs in the kitchen when the door opened, but both their faces lit up when they saw Dipper and Mabel in the entryway. Stan said, "Hey, kids! Whaddaya doing back here?"

"Soos said you'd just gone out," Ford said. "We weren't expecting you back until this evening."

Mabel bounded into the kitchen. "We decided to hang out here today!" She hugged Stan and Ford in turn.

Stan looked between them in surprise. "Really? To do what?"

Mabel said, "Art project!" at the same time Dipper said, "Sorcery."

"I'm gonna sew a doll with Barty," Mabel said. "We'll figure out what to do with the rest of the day after that."

Dipper said, "Grunkle Ford, do you know anything about poppets?"

"Huh." He stroked his chin. "I'm familiar with the concept, but I've never encountered a working one myself. I probably can't tell you much you don't know yourself."

"That's okay." Dipper puffed his chest out. "After we've made one, maybe I can show you my research on them?"

Ford smiled. "Maybe you can. We still haven't compared our past year's research notes, have we? I just haven't been able to find time, with..." His smile faltered.

Firmly, Dipper said, "We'll make time."

"But later!" Mabel insisted, hanging off the kitchen doorframe by one hand, "C'mon, Dipper! Arts and witchcrafts!" She bounded up the attic stairs two at a time. Dipper followed after her.

Stan turned to Ford. "Who's Barty?" Ford shrugged.

Mabel's upward dash paused at the top of the stairs. The zodiac blanket-bedecked specter was back upstairs in his usual spot, curled up in the window seat, apparently trying to read a book through the gaps in the yarn.

But she quickly gathered her courage again. "Hey! Stinky!"

Bill turned to face her. "Yello?"

Mabel planted her hands on her hips. "I'm not afraid of you! There's nothing you can do to make me afraid of you ever again!"

The yarn triangle face stared at Mabel in unimpressed indifference. "Ouch. You're breaking my heart, Shooting Star."

"And I'll break your face if you ever try to hurt my family again!" She turned away from Bill, did her best approximation of Pacifica's dismissive hair flip, and flounced off to the bedroom.

"Pfff." Bill turned toward Dipper as he came up the stairs and asked wryly, "What did I do to warrant that? Have I not been minding my own business and avoiding you people intimidatingly enough?"

Dipper did a startled double-take—this was his first time seeing the zodiac blanket ghost—but he said, "No. No quippy banter. We're not doing that. Banter is for friendly chess club rivals, not attempted murderers."

"Oh, you joined the chess club?"

"Shut up." Dipper stomped after Mabel, stopped, and about-faced to squint at Bill's book. "Is that—? How did you get my journal!"

"I summoned a living shadow and tasked it with bringing me your worst and deepest secrets— Just kidding. You left it in the bathroom, genius."

Dipper must have taken it out of his backpack when he was looking for a baggie for the hair sample. "Give it back!"

Bill held out the book—and jerked it back when Dipper reached for it. "Too slow!" He held it over his head. 

"Hey! Bill!" Dipper jumped for the book. "I know martial arts!"

Bill got up on his knees to keep the book out of Dipper's range. "And I like pain! Fighting me will annoy you more than it'll hurt me!"

"Come on, man!" Dipper stuck his fingers in the blanket like a cat climbing a curtain as he tried to reach the book. He took a deep breath. "GRUNKLE FO—"

"Don't!" Bill shoved Dipper back.

Dipper fell to the ground, taking the blanket with him. He groaned—then froze, staring at the burns, the bandages, the raw red-rimmed eyes.

Until Bill shoved Dipper's journal in his face. "Sheesh, relax." He glared down at Dipper, eyes squinting unevenly, a hard smile forced onto his face—then he snatched back the blanket. "You can't take a joke." He turned the blanket in his hands until he'd found his face again, then pulled it back on.

Dipper gave him a dark look, but retreated after Mabel.

Ford climbed the stairs just high enough to shoot Bill a suspicious look.

Bill returned the stare, head cocked in a pantomime of wide-eyed innocence. "What?" He flung his hands in the air. "What! I'm just sitting here!"

Ford narrowed his eyes, but went back downstairs. 

Bill's gaze drifted again to the kids' door. "'Not afraid of me,' huh? Pfft." He turned to watch the world through the window. "Yeah. That could be useful."

####

"What do you think?" Mabel asked, plopping the Bill-shaped doll in front of Bartholomew for inspection. It looked like a fabric gingerbread man. It had X's for eyes and was sticking its tongue out. "I made his dress out of a sock!" 

"I guess it'll do," Bartholomew said. "The clothes could be nicer."

"Nice clothes are for nice people. He can deal with the sock dress." She considered her handiwork again, then said, "I guess a few more flowers on the dress wouldn't hurt." She rummaged in her craft supply basket for her yellow puffy fabric paint, and asked, "How's that pentagram coming, bro?"

"Just about finished." He set the last candle on the fifth corner of the chalk star he'd drawn between their beds, checked to make sure all the lines were connected, then pulled out a matchbook and lit the candles. "Okay, now what?"

Bartholomew said, "Now, we wait until the next full moon to start the binding ritual."

"When's that?"

"In about two weeks."

Dipper looked at the pentagram, looked at Bartholomew, and said, "So why am I setting this up right now?"

"That's what I've been wondering."

Dipper grumbled and started blowing out candles.

Mabel pulled out a couple balls of yellow yarn and asked, "Hey Dipper, can you get the hair baggie? I need to see which shade of yellow matches Bill's hair better."

"Sure." He rummaged around in his backpack. "Although if you want the poppet to be accurate, you might as well leave it bald." He looked at Bartholomew. "Does accuracy affect how well a poppet works?"

"Not much," Bartholomew said. "Give it the hair. Blondes are hot."

"You're a creep." Mabel threw a yarn ball at Bartholomew's face. "What do you mean, 'leave it bald'?"

Dipper said, "I saw under the blanket. Bill looks like he burned half his head."

"Whaaat?"

"Yeah, except for a few patches on the back of his head, he's almost totally bald. Not much of a surprise, considering what the bathroom looks like, but—yeah." He snorted. "He must have tried to copy Grunkle Ford's shaving technique."

Mabel laughed; but it quickly petered out. "So... he's hiding because he's embarrassed?"

"Guess so," Dipper said. "Huh. Wow. It's... kinda less creepy when you put it that way. Even Bill Cipher can have bad hair days, I guess."

"I guess so."

Bill was in Sweater Town. Mabel considered that, staring at the bald doll she'd made.

Then she grabbed her ball of yarn and started giving the doll hair.

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"...It's too late!" *Lumberjack Ghost who likes turning people to wood*.

Blarrrgggg

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Poor old Preston had a triple heart attack the same day Paz unveiled her 'new look' to the world, and her gibbering mother was seen being lifted in a stretcher from the property by worried-looking men in white coats.

Coincidence? Probably.

i think pacifica shouldve taken the going against her parents thing several steps further and gone full riot grrrl phase. alex hirsch return my calls

extras ⬇️

yes pacifica and mcgucket is a weird chara duo but theyre my favs so they hang out. to me

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Everyone who's had the briefest of contacts with me knows what I think of the Mary Sue of narrative tools otherwise know as 'Zoe'.

But after seeing this AU incarnation of Chloe, I can't believe I'm gonna say this... the situation could've been even WORSE.

Imagine if they'd introduced Chloe in THIS insufferable guise, instead of the sassy, spirited, a touch-more-complex-than-she-first-appears version we got in the show (at least for S1 & 2).

There would be virtually NOTHING to keep me watching after the first few episodes. Nil. Nought. Nada.

On the plus side though, at least it would've saved me years of hurt waiting for a character evolution that never came despite constant hints, and I could've spent my time watching something else instead where the writers actually had some ambition and gave a solitary damn.

Yep, the only way a person in a show with this sickly-sweet personality could work is if (as depicted in the art) either A. everyone ripped the p*ss out of them to their face or B. Various humorous 'accidents' befell them throughout the day as they merrily skipped along.

Neither of which ever dented their perpetually sunny attitude for more than a second, thus the joke being this unbearable tsunami of tooth-rotting niceness was a true force of nature that couldn't be stopped.

No-one liked her incessantly saccarine outlook, but the fact that she was always there to get on your nerves when you LEAST wanted or expected it with a out-of-tune song or a vapid platitude could potentially be mined for some great gags.

The rest of the class would roll their eyes, sign deeply and try, but fail, to get her to take her sunny simpering elsewhere. Thus turning a possibly maligned character into a unusually endearing one, and being a great send-up of all those desperate-to-please ingratiating types who won't leave you alone when you're DESPERATE for a bit of solitude.

(I don't know about you guys, but I've had MORE than my fair share of these well-meaning but ultimately unintentionally obnoxious individuals. Worse than bullies, some of them.)

Alas, the makes of ML don't seem to have received this memo, and now we have the waste-of-space that is Zoe... who plays the above tropes deadly straight absent of any sort of meta humor and without any pretence of how bland and dislikable she is.

Not only that, the writers freely seem to admit that themselves; why else would we get the rest of the cast being her besties, saying how 'cool' and 'awesome' she is mere seconds after meeting them, entrusted with the Bee AND the Cat miraculous shortly after arriving?

It's called Character Shilling, my dears. Non-stop compliments without any actual evidence. And anyone who can't see beyond the manufactured praise of this hastily-introduced new arrival and see it as the smoke-and-mirrors act that it is, well... that's your cross to bear.

Zoe exists for one reason and one reason only... for Thomas to dump on Chloe some more. That's it. In fact, I could've saved myself an hour and just written that as my opening and closing statement, as that pretty much sums the entire sorry saga up.

And the more popular Chloe becomes, the more the bearded manbaby doubles down in attempting to destroy her past development, her current relationships and her promising future. LOL. What an absolute loser he is. Screw that guy, seriously.

See also: Soquerline for a similar example (actually, I doubt you'll be 'seeing' much of her next season as she's fulfilled her one purpose for living in that terrible hastily-assembled flashback episode. So if you were a fan of hers I'm truly sorry... wait, no I'm not).

So to conclude then: if you find the above illustration amusing because this version of Chloe seems such a ludicrous caricature of a goodie-goodie, then I've got news for you.

As depicted in the show, Zoe has almost exactly the same personality... so you must agree with my points regarding her completely pointless addition to the show 100%! Hurray!

Welcome to the haterz club! We have pie... oops, just ate the last slice. To bad, it was cherry too. SLURP!

anywaysss screw the canon have nice girl chloe

[anxresi]

CHLOE: "Who knew that honey could be so sticky?"

ZOE: "I'm more surprised that these bee-themed costumes aren't just a fancy aethetic!"

CHLOE: "...Whatever. Look, we're going to be stuck like this 'til we get to the emergency room, so we may as well play nice for now."

ZOE: "YAY! ROAD TRIP! With my favorite sis!" :D

CHLOE: "...You're supposed to be pretending." :p

the bee sisters <3 oh how i wish for them to be a team ..

[anxresi]

Like these togs too. Although Adrien, PLEASE let fashion be the only influence you take from pops.

"¿How would you dress adrien and chloe?" Well.....

Yeah...all of Adrien's clothes are chosen by his father, more than anything to promote his own company

I like the idea of keeping Chloe's blue makeup because I really love it, I also like her ponytail but I feel that since I draw it..... i feel doesn't look good on her so I left her hair down

I feel like Chloe would wear gloves since she doesn't want to touch anyone idk😭

I would also say that Chloe and Adrien are more like siblings in my redesing/au (Chloe does not fall in love with Adrien 🥱)

Would I also remove Sabrina as her "best friend" and would I give her character development🤗

Adrien would leave it as it is because I love it the way it is and I would change several things about Cat Noir. I have a lot of ideas but I don't know how to express them because I don't have good English lwbfowme

If you would like to know them, I will try to say them in some post or fanart :")

[anxresi]

If the girls in ML actually had a wardrobe...

Zoe and Chloe redesing! <3

[anxresi]

We've all felt like that sometimes...

I gave Chloe her hammer back.

[anxresi]

Seeing as I haven't reblogged much featuring Chloe of late, have a dozen to make up for it!

After all, it couldn't be a baker's dozen, considering how she feels about Marinette... ;)

Do you have any sketch of Chloe with short hair?

Also, your art is lovely and your comic was the reason why I downloaded tumblr. Thanks for making such a wondeful comic!!!! ❤️

They're all just okay. To me.

[anxresi]

Mason my good man... Looking sharp! But don't look behind you...

mabel tells him to wash his face every day but he does not listen. he also still has vest rash