aphroditeofcnidus

[aphroditeofcnidus]

When Gwyn was violated, she was taken to the safety of the library, surrounded by women, and offered therapy. No one - especially men - could enter the library without her permission.

When Elain was violated, she was taken to the HoW, guarded by Nesta, while Feyre and the entire IC made sure that Lucien kept his distance and gave her time to grieve and deal with her trauma.

When Nesta was violated, she was taken to the HoW, where her boundaries were repeatedly violated by Cassian, who came to visit every other day without her permission or consent. Her personal space was violated by Mor, who decided to get all handsy without Nesta's consent, even though she knew Nesta had just been abducted, tortured, and violated. Cassian joked about Mor ripping off Nesta's dress when Cassian knew Nesta had just been sexually assaulted mere months before being violated in the Cauldron.

First of all, why weren't Elain and Nesta taken to the refuge of the library or at least offered therapy? Secondly, why was Cassian allowed to violate Nesta's boundaries without her consent or permission, but Lucien had to respect Elain's? Why weren't both males held to the same standard? Why did Cassian respect the consent of the priestesses by not entering the library without their permission, but he repeatedly disrespected Nesta's boundaries? Could you imagine if Az had gone down to the library every other day to check on Gwyn or Lucien checked in with Elain every other day without their permission? The IC would have had a thing or two to say to them... but not Cassian. He could do whatever he wanted, with or without Nesta's consent.

Then there's Feyre's, "Why do you even bother, Cassian?" I'm sorry, but what? Who the hell is ready for a relationship right after being violated? He shouldn't be bothering. Feyre should have been telling Cassian to leave Nesta alone.

The IC taught Gwyn and Elain that their consent mattered, that their "No" meant "No" and that their boundaries would be respected. Simultaneously, the IC taught Nesta that her consent was the last thing they cared about. Her "No" really meant "Yes" if they asked her enough times and bullied her around to it, and her boundaries and autonomy would most certainly never be respected.

The IC have always been so incredibly toxic and cruel to Nesta, while demanding that she treat them with kindness and respect. Cassian and Mor have the audacity to say that Nesta would thrive in the CoN? Someone needs to hand them a mirror.

[aphroditeofcnidus]

The IC act like they're Nesta's victims, yet Cassian says that Az never seemed inclined to start a fight with her, and we have all the times that different characters (including Feyre herself) mention that Nesta and Feyre are at each other's throats.

SJM needs to pay attention to what she writes because Cassian admitting that the IC pick fights with Nesta means that Nesta does not start the fights. We see this evidenced in canon all the time: Nesta is almost always only ever mean after being provoked. She doesn't go out of her way to be cruel, but she also doesn't bend over backward and accept other's cruelty towards her.

When it comes to her and Feyre, both Feyre and Cassian have mentioned how the sisters are at each other's throats, which we also see represented in canon all the time. If they're at each other's throats, then both are culpable for their failed relationship, not just Nesta.

Yet, somehow, SJM writes an entire series that paints Nesta as this toxic, abusive, unnecessarily cruel bitch and never holds the IC or Feyre accountable for their toxicity, abuse, and unnecessary cruelty towards Nesta.

[aphroditeofcnidus]

The fact that SJM considers the Illyrian system normal could have to do with the fact that she's inspired by ancient warrior cultures,without understanding them.She's not even the only author to do so, it's not that uncommon at all.Illyrians are named after Illyrians,a real ancient balkan warrior society,but i can also see elements probably inspired from Sparta,with their training system that starts at 8(it was 7 for Spartans),away from their homes under harsh conditions.She sees nothing wrong with this, because Ancient Sparta is held in high regard,this system of course has created heroes,like Leonidas.But,her warriors don't fight for Illyria first and foremost, they are considered expendable soldiers for the HL of the NC and this difference is crucial.Fighting and dying for love of your country is not the same as being exploited for your skills for another's interests.Their only hero,Enalius,in honor of who the Blood Rite was established died to defend Illyrian lands.Noone else is memorable, because everyone else died as expendable,under the HL's orders.

The fact that Illyrian poverty is considered normal also probably has to do with a similar misunderstanding.Spartans led humble lives,yes, but not because they were truly poor,but because they believed luxury made people soft.Illyrians lack necessities,like blankets in winter.It's not the same thing at all.

If you told me in any other fantasy series, a ruler/ high lord rips male children from their parent's arms at 8, and forces them to become child soldiers to fight for him, I'd call him a villain. The Illyarian children go through unimaginable hell to be shaped into the perfect soldier. Their culture is abusive, violent, sexist, and misogynistic and the cycle continues. What drives me insane is how Rhysand, and the IC look down on the Illyarians for being barbaric savages yet Rhysand keeps them that way. He doesn't want them to exist as anything other then to serve him and be his killing machines. The actions of Rhysand and the IC are villain coded but SJM wants them to be the good guys and its truly giving dystopian.

[aphroditeofcnidus]

The fact that Feyre deems her father worthy of a painting in her new house,but not Nesta is infuriating.Everything she blames Nesta for is her father's fault.It's his fault that she hunted and how they lived in poverty.Having a bad leg shouldn't keep an educated man,like him from working.The reason he didn't work is because after losing his fortune,he was depressed.That's not an excuse for letting your children starve and besides Does he have the right to be depressed and not working,but traumatized teenage Nesta is inexcusable for not stepping up and doing his job raising them?Feyre also blames her sisters for her illeteracy.What on earth stopped her father from teaching her how to read and write or sending her to school? That's a parent's job,again not an older sibling's.Pappa Archeron's neglect for his children didn't start when he lost his fortune,either.Nesta came back home from her grandmother's house injured.What did her father do?Demand to know what happened?No,he didn't give a damn,so Nesta's abuse continued.He was the man of the house in a patriarchal society.He could put a stop to everything.He just didn't care.Does Feyre think he redeemed himself in the war,with the ships he brought?Nesta didn't do that,with everything she offered?Or is it because,she doesn't behave in a way she deems appropriate now? That's part of it,for sure,since she gets a painting,after she stops coping in ways deemed embarrassing.Nesta is depressed, traumatized,scared and she's excluded, because she drinks and sleeps around.This makes her unworthy of a painting in her sister's eyes.How disgusting this is.

[aphroditeofcnidus]

We're supposed to believe that Rhys,Feyre and the IC are trying to help Nesta with her mental health issues.That they force her to train, because this will help her with her war trauma and give her purpose in life.So,her PTSD,her father's death and how she feels lost after she turns Fae are recognized.What about Nesta's guilt,which is the elephant in the room?Is training to be a warrior going to help her with her guilt concerning her past treatment of Feyre and her father?Why doesn't Feyre talk to her,tell her that she has forgiven her,which is true?Why doesn't she tell Rhys to stop treating her the way he does, because it makes everything worse,by scratching Nesta's wound?Rhys and the IC not only don't help Nesta overcome her guilt,they fuel it and Feyre enables them by forcing Nesta to be around them.As a result in the end she has overcome her PTSD,for example she's not afraid of the sound of fireplaces,anymore,she has found purpose in her life with the Valkyries,but she still feels she needs to earn love.And this is exactly how Rhys,whose idea this supposed healing program was,wanted her to be.Amren too.They wanted her to function well enough to be useful and be guilty enough to do everything they wanted,in order to atone.This wasn't about Nesta healing,but about becoming a useful weapon for them.Rhys is nice to her as long as he believes her tamed,but once she defies him again,he goes back to threatening her life.It's very difficult for Nesta to escape all this.There's Cassian of course,who wouldn't dream of leaving the NC,but Rhys wouldn't just let her go that easily,either.Even with most of her power gone,she can still control the Dread Trove,she can still create weapons.Controlling her or at least keeping a close eye on her is important to him.Nesta is trapped.

[aphroditeofcnidus]

In Acotar Feyre is shocked by Mor being forced to get married at 17,but she sees no problem with Nesta seducing a duke at 14.She says that while her mother was an unpleasant social climber,Nesta made her own choices.Also,we're supposed to think that Feyre hunting at 14 is appalling,while Nesta seducing a duke at the same age and Illyrian boys training as soldiers under harsh conditions since age 8 aren't that big of a deal.I could get a "different times, different cultures"argument,if there was consistency.In a fantastic ancient or medieval world,an author probably wouldn't have people working or getting married at 18,but much younger.Deanerys in the Game of Thrones books for example marries Khal Drogo at 13.She's older in the show,but that's probably because you need 18+ actors for nude/sex scenes and an 18 year old can't pass for a 13 year old.But,it should be completely normal for Mor to get married so young and her abuse,when she broke off the engagement to be the only problematic thing,then.But it's not,SJM follows modern views in this,when it comes to Mor,but not when it comes to Nesta.Nesta seducing a duke at 14 is some great skill,that can be useful to the NC now.Also,if Nesta can seduce a duke at 14,then there should be no problem with Feyre hunting at 14.In older times,kids younger than that worked hard jobs,like the fields to support their families.It's the same with Illyrians.Is it normal for SJM for them to train under harsh conditions since 8, because it happened in other warrior cultures,like Spartans,who trained since 7?I can accept that,but why Rhys and Cassian,who grew up in such a culture are so shocked with Feyre hunting at 14 and blame her older sister for this?Either all of these things are child labour(in Feyre's case)and child abuse in Nesta's,Mor's and the Illyrians's cases or it's just different times.You can't appeal to modern sensibilities about childhood,when Feyre and Mor are concerned and act like it's just different times,a different world,when it comes to Nesta and Illyrian boys.It makes no sense.

[aphroditeofcnidus]

The audacity of Mor,touching her womb,while she sits next to Nesta,acting like Nesta somehow triggers her trauma by refusing to train with Cassian is amazing.When they visited HC,her father said that he helped Lord Thanatos deal with his daughter.In case anyone wonders what sort of name this is, it's the greek word for death.Keir,who abused his daughter is asked to help a man,named Death to deal with his own daughter.Mor isn't troubled by this, neither is Rhys.Because,of course she's the only dreamer there,who deserves to be rescued,everyone else can be abused.And yet, she's bothered by a traumatized newly turned fae for drinking, sleeping around,like she does and refusing to train with Cassian.Now,she cares about Cassian becoming upset.When,she used him to break off her engagement to Eris and caused him to fight with Rhys,was she irredeemable and undeserving of a second chance,like Nesta supposedly is?What about Azriel and how she upsets him?Is she irredeemable for using him the way she does?

[aphroditeofcnidus]

Feyre acts like it's unacceptable on Nesta's part that she doesn't want to live with her and Rhysand.Why is it unacceptable for an adult woman that she doesn't want to live with her siblings and her brother in law?Rhysand of course who sees that this upsets Feyre seeks a way to "correct"this, because Nesta isn't entitled to make her own choices,she exists to please Feyre.We actually have to believe that the adult woman,who wants to live alone is wrong and the married woman,who wants her sisters to live under the same roof with her,her husband and his friends is right.First of all,the house might be big enough to accommodate them all,but it's not Versailles,for so many people to live together without ever bothering one another.It's like having roomates.Many people just want to live alone.Of course,in Nesta's case most of theese people dislike her.Feyre expects Nesta to live with them,but she doesn't try to correct that.Rhysand doesn't correct his treatment of Nesta, before demanding she lives with them.

When people mention Rhysand's bad treatment of Feyre they usually refer to his actions UTM or how he kept her in the dark about her pregnancy.However,the way he spoils her now is really problematic,too.Because of this,Feyre believes that people around her must do as she pleases, regardless of how they feel about it.Feyre needs to learn boundaries,not having someone indulge her every whim,even at other people's expense.

[aphroditeofcnidus]

"Nesta's so cruel to us," say the cruelest people in this entire series.

"Nesta's an Illyrian at heart," say the ones metaphorically clipping her wings and trying to control her.

"Nesta would thrive in the Court of Nightmares," say the ones abusing her.

"Nesta has rage issues," say the ones who can't control their tempers.

"Nesta may spite us," say the ones who condoned Feyre destroying an entire court out of spite.

"Nesta makes everyone's trauma about herself," say those who make Nesta's trauma all about them.

"Nesta needs to be physically restrained," say those who are constantly threatening her with physical violence.

"Nesta may hurt Feyre in a fit of rage," say those who watched Feyre burn the LoA in a fit of rage.

"Nesta needs to be punished for telling the truth," say those who withheld vital information.

"Nesta's a slut," say those who spent their entire twenties sleeping with any female who showed interest, oftentimes in the same room as each other.

"Nesta's an alcoholic," say those who, canonically, drink more than her.

"Nesta needs to apologize to us," say those who never apologize to Nesta.

"Nesta needs to be held accountable," say those who never suffer the consequences of their actions.

"Nesta had no right to give Bryce the Mask," say those who can't wield or control the Mask.

"Nesta will answer to Prythian for what she did," say those who never answered to Prythian for releasing death-gods onto it.

"Nesta doesn't hate you," say those who just told Nesta that everyone hated her.

[aphroditeofcnidus]

Feyre judges Nesta for choosing to live in a place she describes as relatively close to a slum as far as the generally rich city of Velaris is concerned.I guess that it's not an actual slum or she wouldn't say how it's relatively close to that,but just call it a slum.Nesta's apartment is old and not very well mentained,so it's probably a poorer neighborhood,where the houses are old and not very well kept,with chipped paint etc.No mention of criminality,unhealthy living conditions or anything like that,just not very nice houses.That's what the woman,who used to live in a cabin compares to a slum.Going from being extremely poor and neglected to being filthy rich and pampered by Rhys hasn't helped Feyre at all.Now,she looks down at people for not living in mansions and calls lower income neighbourhoods slums.She's embarrassed that her sister lives in such a place,she thinks it's bad for her reputation and displaces people,who obviously can't afford to live in better houses in order to stop that.She used to live in extreme poverty and now she's managed to rival Marie Antoinette in ignorance of the people.She actually thinks that people have a problem with Nesta living in a cheap place and not with her building a fifth mansion,when the city is still rebuilding and there's definitely homelessness.

Honestly,Rhys,Feyre and the IC are a satirical author's delight.I don't suppose political satire exists in the form of stage plays in Prythian ,you need democracy for that.Written satires by anonymous authors could circulate though.What great material their rulers provide.Just think of the HL meeting and how they turned it into an absolute circus.

[aphroditeofcnidus]

Why do you think Rhysand feels so intensely about Nesta saying some mean things to Feyre as a child and letting her hunt when he spent his own childhood in death camps where is Amren's words they break children's bones over and over for days sometimes, where he met his brothers through violence, Cassian best him and then they beat Azriel, shouldn't they be more casual about child bullying or whatever?

I’m of two minds when it comes to this topic.

Watsonian Answer

Rhysand’s hypocrisy is an expression of his dominance over the interpersonal relationships of the Inner Circle. In a “Rules for thee, not for me” fashion, Rhysand has the power to dole out judgment while never being judged himself and is relatively free from the consequences of his actions. I believe that his persistent grudge and vendetta against Nesta could be either projection, or a pretext to justify his control over her. I’m more inclined towards the latter, as his sustained hostility and abuse of power over Nesta cannot be justified as being done for Feyre’s sake. His pattern of acting against Feyre’s wishes to pursue petty revenge against Nesta is an example of this.

Doylist Answer

Rhysand’s intensity serves the overall wish-fulfillment fantasy of the series. Feyre is the Y/N figure that the reader can use to vicariously enjoy certain pleasures they’d never pursue in real life. Feyre disavows revenge against Nesta, but never seriously attempts to thwart Rhysand’s mean-spirited treatment of her. This way, she can have her cake and eat it too. Rhysand is bad and vindictive so Feyre can be the good girl who gets revenge anyway. For some readers, it’s pleasurable to imagine a person who wronged them in a situation where that person is utterly powerless and at their mercy. The fact that the revenge is enacted by Feyre’s friends (rather than Feyre herself) is doubly pleasurable because it’s a testament to how much they love her, while also acting as extensions of her power. The fantasy is being free to indulge in the pleasure of crushing the person who wronged you underneath your heel.

All this to say, the contradictions are definitely there. Did Nesta exploit Feyre’s labour? Yes, but the punishment she receives for that wrongdoing is completely disproportionate. The Inner Circle is disturbingly casual about many other things that were objectively way worse than Nesta being a bad sister (under dire circumstances I might add) yet they act like she’s some kind of villainess. Bullying Azriel is something they can chuckle about, but Rhysand would never ever forgive Nesta for letting her hunt. I could say more about this, but I’m worried I would ramble on for too long.

[aphroditeofcnidus]

The way SJM deals with important social issues in Acotar is sometimes very problematic.Like,she talks about rape and how rapists go unpunished, because of misogyny,through Nesta and Cassian's mother.Feyre,though,her series's protagonist lies about getting raped.Such a behaviour makes it more difficult for real rape victims to come forward.What Feyre does is what those who don't believe women sometimes accuse them of doing:She lies to take revenge.She lies about getting raped by Rhysand to follow her plan to destroy Tamlin.To make matters worse, she's angry that people believe her, because Rhysand would never do that.It's not about believing the woman, it's about defending the accused man's character,about what he could or couldn't do.Then,the only reason she rescues Lucien from Ianthe is because she thinks of Rhysand.Otherwise what?She would let someone get sexually assaulted because she's mad at him?First of all,Ianthe wasn't in a position to rape Rhysand, that's Amarantha's doing.Ianthe laid naked in Rhysand's bed and Rhysand broke her hand.Rhysand wasn't traumatized by this,he was simply angry, because Ianthe was after his throne.Lucien however wasn't in a position to defend himself against Ianthe.So,when Feyre thinks of Rhysand in relation to Ianthe what does she think exactly?How she would rape sb much more powerful,who breaks her hand or is it jealousy? Is she mad that Ianthe threw herself at Rhysand and now she's punishing her for this,without giving an actual crap about Lucien?

[aphroditeofcnidus]

I still have yet to find one reason to prove to me why Nesta HAD to be part of the Inner Circle - not that she even has to now but obviously she's a bit more "shackled" to them at this point.

She VERY clearly expressed her desire to live apart from them. She never told Feyre that she refused to see her and Elain (she even said they could always come and spend time with her), she just didn't want to be around the Inner Circle and there is absolutely no reason why she had to be, other than Feyre just wanted her to.

I will die on the hill that had Feyre actually LISTENED to Nesta and she and Elain (Miss. I won't even deem to step foot in establishments of such ill repute) had stopped being such snobs, if they just agreed to meet Nesta outside of one of Rhysand's many homes, in the places she felt comfortable, the whole situation with Nesta could have been dealt with in a much healthier, more supportive and empathetic manner.

[aphroditeofcnidus]

In Acotar what someone means and the way Feyre,Rhysand and the IC perceive it are often worlds apart.They can't see anything from the other person's point of view.Like,they consider it outrageous that the other HLs in the meeting don't immediately trust them.Why would they?You stole from one of them,while he gave you hospitality,you have made sure to be known for your cruelty for centuries now,but anyone who doesn't immediately think "oh,surely,this was a facade,Rhysand is kind and trustworthy"is basically a crazy son of a bitch.Also,when Lucien tries to bring Feyre back to the SC, Feyre's reaction is to label every SC male fae a misogynist.When,you tell him you don't want to come back,true as it may be,he has serious reasons to believe this is because of Rhysand's powers.This is the male,who drugged you and sexually assaulted you,forced you into a bargain to heal your arm and took you away by force on your wedding day.He happens to be a deamati.Is it misogyny that he believes that you have probably been brainwashed and he doesn't give up on you?

Furthermore,when they visit Illyria and Devlon says that he's given Rhysand's mother's house to his soldiers, he's not being a difficult asshole.Yes,Devlon often antagonizes Rhys,but here what the man tells Rhysand is that his soldiers will be displaced.The decent thing to do would be to say"That's fine, don't displace them,just find us a tent".What he does is tell Devlon to make them leave the house after they clean it for them.A bit later,the mating bond is accepted by Feyre,the mating frenzy starts and Illyrians have to listen to Rhysand and Feyre having sex(And this won't be the only time they'll have the "privilege"). Meanwhile,Devlon's soldiers are now homeless.What would they think?"He forced us out of the house to fuck his weird lover,as if he doesn't have a palace/mansion to do that."

What exactly is wrong with them?Low emotional intelligence?Most likely they're so self absorbed that they can't see anyone's point of view.And when this point of view isn't convenient for them they vilify people.

[aphroditeofcnidus]

Human society in Acotar is horrible.Humans are ruled by people,who betray their own without blinking,just to stay young forever.Their aristocracy,which in such a world is the ruling class is described as having still their hereditary titles,but no financial power,so many of them want to marry wealthy merchants's children.(That's Mrs.Archeron's plan for Nesta to marry a titled man).They have no religion and that's not because of any philosophical reason,but because they have forgotten their gods.

It's as if everything has to confirm that Fae are superior to humans,not just when it comes to physical strength, beauty or longevity,but also culture wise and it didn't have to be that way.In Crescent City SJM is inspired by the Roman World(although some of it concerned its worst aspects like marked slaves and gladiators).Why not be inspired by the Greco Roman world,to create a superior human culture in Acotar?Fae are said to progress more slowly than humans.She could use that and show human states that move onto democracy,while Fae still have the archaic system of absolute monarchy.Humans could have amazing,impressive architecture and art,poetry etc.The way humans are described it's not strange that fae think of them as inferior.Other humans could see such a culture as inferior.They can have compassion for them,but they can't admire them.Cassian naively says in front of Jurian and Vassa that basically humans are too weak.Cassian knows Jurian,who is a strong fighter,but definitely not stronger than himself and probably the average Illyrian.As a general, though he could admire a superior strategist,like Julius Caesar,but there aren't any such generals in the human world.Or Fae artists in Velaris could admire beautiful human art.After the wall falls there could be this type of cultural exchanges to help humans and faeries become friends.But the way human culture is like,humans can only be the "barbarian"neighbours that Fae make peace with and tolerate,while still thinking of them as inferior.

[aphroditeofcnidus]

I keep reading about Ancient Greeks being bisexual and i'd like to point out that it's an anachronism.The concept of sexual orientation was foreign to them.They adored beauty in all its forms , so they had sex with people they found pleasing to the eye regardless of gender.They were really passionate about beauty.They believed beauty was a divine gift and beautiful people to be favored by the gods.Beauty was a value in itself.Their sculpture proves that more than anything.

[aphroditeofcnidus]

Not liking certain female characters doesn't make you sexist outright.It depends on the reason.For example not liking a female character, because she sleeps around,yes that's misogynistic.But,the reasons some of us don't like Mor for example is because she acts like a mean girl or a pick me girl.She tells depressed Nesta that she's like her abusers and that she would vote to send her to the human lands to get killed, because she's jealous Cassian no longer pays attention to her.She doesn't even want Cassian.It's all about using him to keep Azriel at bay and because of her vanity.She believes she's the only female in HC, worthy of getting rescued.She doesn't even try help to help her cousins,who are trapped in abusive marriages.She uses people around her with no regard for their feelings.She doesn't care that Azriel is getting hurt,she keeps using him, because she's not ready to come out as a lesbian.

I really don't like this whole "If you don't like a female character, who's been abused,you're a misogynist".What happened to Mor was horrific,but it doesn't excuse her behaviour.It's infuriating to label people misogynistic like that.It reminds me of the controversy surrounding Jada Smith's Cleopatra docudrama,where Cleopatra was black.If you're offended by it,yes that's problematic.But simply pointing out the historical inaccuracy is not racist.Cleopatra was predominantly Greek.She was the last ruler of the Ptolemaic dynasty,founded by Ptolemy I Soter, Alexander the Great's general,who became ruler of Egypt after Alexander's death.We are talking about Macedonian Greeks.Greeks are not black.It always depends on the reason you don't like sth.