apple-of-my-pie - Tumblr blog

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OBSESSED OBSESSED OBSESSED with the idea that the dead mother wolf from agot ch1 was "Ned's wolf" not only because of dead-before-the-story-starts, doomed-by-the-narrative reasons but also because it makes Ned mom-coded. Mom-coded and fate-pilled. Get doomed, loser.

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god why is every transphobe on this website unintentionally the funniest bitch on earth

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The male orgasm is a myth

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"Christ on a cracker" well actually I think you'll find Christ is the cracker. And also the wine. But you wouldn't know that you fucking protestant heathen

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THE MENU 2022, dir. Mark Mylod

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anyway last night I delved deep enough into the various tags for The Menu (2022) that I started finding the "it's fine that Tyler was a foodie but couldn't cook though that's #valid!" takes and let me just say. posts written at clown college. Tyler didn't even really like food.

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love the word “rapscallion”. like not only are you a rascal but you’re also kind of spring onion about it too

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tangerine snail 🍊

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also after walking into a pyre to die at the lowest moment of her 14 year old life and instead of burning to death enacting the miracle from her prophetic dreams that everyone in her family died and failed trying to do that brings magic back into the world for the first time in 300 years and three dragons who are loyal only to her and the next day there’s a giant red comet in the sky. what is this tenth grader supposed to do NOT suspect a little bit that she’s the messiah.

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HBD to @nickjvz

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Rereading asoiaf i can't believe some of these mf ages

Tyrion and i are the same age. He should be at the club.

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The number one funniest example of people inventing bullshit reasons ships they don't like are "problematic" that I've ever seen was people calling Brienne of Tarth and Jaime Lannister "like siblings".

Fam.

Have you forgotten the number one most notable trait about Jaime Lannister.

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“what’s renly’s claim” as if being cooler hotter and funnier than the current king hasn’t always been a path to power in any civilization of all time

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"Every single empire in its official discourse has said that it is not like all the others, that its circumstances are special, that it has a mission to enlighten, civilize, bring order and democracy, and that it uses force only as a last resort. And, sadder still, there always is a chorus of willing intellectuals to say calming words about benign or altruistic empires, as if one shouldn't trust the evidence of one's eyes watching the destruction and the misery and death brought by the latest mission civilizatrice."

Edward W. Said, Orientalism.

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"Old friend" is a gayass thing to call someone

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the thing is that I was prepared for the absolute cartoon politics in red white & royal blue but nobody braced me for Casey McQuiston being a huge geek about Hamilton and Harry Potter, the latter which has aged like a fucking avocado