applepies-posts

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I just got described as an "ad hating commie" by someone because I said a minute of youtube ads is unpleasant. fully spent 5 minutes arguing and defending youtube ads. insane stuff

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“i wouldn’t do that” “i wouldn’t say that” “i wouldn’t wear that” “i wouldn’t kiss them” too bad you pedantic dorks, you’re not the one in control here.

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Bad Sylus !! 😠

Needed to bonk him a bit bc he jumped right in front of a wanderer with literally a paper thin of HP left..

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Bruce: *putting superman to shame with his workout routine*

Clark: Hey Bruce, is everything okay? Did Bane get out again?

Bruce, without pausing: I tried to pick Jason up last week but I ended up dropping him. I need to get stronger so I can carry all of my kids >:(

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Haikyuu boyfriend headcanons ; Ushijima edition ⋆｡˚ ⤾

-> Lowkey into PDA and loves showing you off. The type to confidently hold your hand in public or have his hand on your lower back in crowded areas

-> Very stoic and quiet in public but the loudest in private. He's the type to sing the entirety of Hamilton with you. (biggest musical nerd ever I will die on this hill)

-> He says "I love you" during an argument, not to shut you up but because its true even when things are hard. "I Love you", he'll repeat again voice steady, "even when we disagree."

-> he reads the books you recommend even if they aren't his type of genre. He'll annotate lines he likes so he can have a full book debrief with you when he's finished. (Percy Jackson is his favorite series)

-> He never forgets an important date. Besides monthly anniversaries he also counts the first time you both said "I love you" and will get you flowers for anything. You passed an exam? An entire floral shop is at your door when you get home

-> The best listener ever. If you're having a bad day all his attention is on you and he lets you vent without interrupting. Won't make you feel bad for crying and calmly pulls you to him while wiping your tears.

-> Very bad at whispering. You'll be at a restaurant and whisper something to him about a couple at another table. He'd respond full volume : "Yes they are arguing, I think the man is wrong."

note : this is my first time using tumblr to make hc's so hopefully this was enjoyable 😭

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NOTICE: As more and more fanfic writers are using generative AI for their works (you uncreative dweebs), I hereby swear on everything I hold dear that I have not and will NEVER use generative AI in ANY of my written work. Everything I post will be organically and creatively my own.

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The Batkids doing that "Suspect" tiktok trend where they take turns filming each other running and say increasingly personal and deranged shit to make each other laugh.

Spoiler, recording Red Robin: *in a confused voice* Suspect listens to Green Day and Enya, like my guy pick a struggle

Nightwing, recording Red Hood: Suspect died once and made it his entire personality

Red Hood, recording Robin: Suspect has a superiority complex that is way too big for someone his size

Robin, recording Nightwing: Suspect has been engaged at least twice and married never

Red Robin, recording Spoiler: Suspect thinks assaulting people with bricks is a legitimate flirting strategy (Spoiler: It worked on you!)

Signal, who came out at night solely for this, recording Red Robin: Suspect can't come up with an original name and keeps stealing everyone else's

Red Hood, recording Nightwing: Suspect is actually a huge asshole but hides it behind that cheerful demeanor so everyone thinks I'm lying about it

Robin, recording Red Hood: I'm going to let the Suspect keep running because he needs the exercise

Signal, recording Red Hood: Suspect acts tough but has read every Jane Austen novel at least six times

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Luke and Kieran: hey boss when’s your birthday?

Sylus: no

MC: hey Sylus w—

Sylus: April 18th, also my star sign is aires, my Chinese zodiac is the rat, my favourite colour is red—

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imagine being roommates with suguru in college or something and you get really drunk one night while out with some friends, and you stumble on back to the shared apartment and stumble into his room and pass out in his bed by accident. you wake up him spooning you and your face feeling sooo smooth (he did your skin care for you💀)

you try to get out of his hold to go wallow in embarrassment in your room but he’s having none of that and just pulls you in closer, now waking up and rubbing your sore tummy as if he can sense the hangover. you’re obviously mortified and his ass is completely unbothered and beaming asking how you’re feeling as if this is a regular occurrence LMAO.

you tell him you’re fine and go to get up but nopee he shoves your ass right back to bed saying something like “noo your head must be pounding and your poor little tummy…. you should just stay here all day so i can keep an eye on you🥰🥰” you end up deciding to because to be real you don’t have a choice at this point, and that hangover is kicking in.

he tucks you back in like the mama hen he is and leaves for about ten minutes, returning with a platter if fruit you figured he just magically pulled out of his ass since you don’t remember any of that being in the house (he bought everything the night before in preparation for this shhhh). he hand feeds you while cooing at you and stroking your sore head, when you’re done he just pulls you back into his chest putting the show you two were previously watching together on and just lays there with you all day rubbing your head as if you were his sick little pet kitten. you’re just laying there thinking this is some sort of fever dream.

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WRAPPED AROUND YOUR FINGER . T. FUSHIGURO

“smells good,” a deep voice suddenly breaks the silence, startling you as you involuntarily lurch forward a little and lose your balance.

“woah, steady steady,” toji plants his hands securely around your hips, “i got you, don’t worry,”

“i can never get over how easily you sneak up on me like that,” you sigh, twisting your torso to face the stove before dipping a spoon into the pot of soup and cupping your hand beneath as you bring it over to toji’s mouth, “taste please! but careful, it’s hot,”

“could’ve warned me earlier,” toji grumbles, fanning his searing tongue as he pivots your body back to the stove and wraps his arms around your waist to hug you from behind, “if anything i’d think you were trying to kill me,”

“please,” you roll your eyes, “you’d already be dead if that’s what i was trying to do,”

“shit, you’re right. i’d probably walk into any trap of yours. think i’d do it gladly too,” toji chuckles, “soup’s really good by the way,”

“yeah?” you smile, craning your head to face toji as you comb his messy black hair away from his eyes, “so good that you’d eat it even if i poisoned it?”

“told you already, any trap you set up i’d fall into,” toji shrugs.

“wait, like, knowingly?” you question, peering up at him curiously as he looks away, remaining silent, “oohh, you would, got it!”

“just don’t take advantage of me,” toji grumbles, turning back to face you as his eyes bore into yours, “you’re too good to ever do that anyways,”

“i won’t, promise,” you grin, craning your neck up to kiss his cheek, “now get us rice, please?”

“you got it,” toji nods, letting go of you, as he walks over to the rice cooker at the other end of the kitchen, “don’t add shit to the food while i’m not looking!”

“adding cyanide right now!” you laugh, wheezing a little when toji storms over and nearly tackles you into a close embrace, “kidding, kidding! just adding some pepper you big lug,”

“you’re killing me,” toji groans.

“i love you too,” you beam innocently, pressing another kiss onto his cheek, “now say it back please,”

“damn right i love you too,” toji nods, hands moving back to your waist as he tugs you close and kisses your lips, “love you too much for my own damn good,”

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i love london

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MC: The way this plushie is sleeping face down... it looks just like you.

Sylus: It makes it easier to reach the gun under the pillow, and you can hear an attacker's footsteps better this way.

MC:

Sylus:

MC: Sometimes I forget how scary you actually are.

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sick post i just found online. sorry i couldnt find the source

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At one point in time, John Price has uttered the words "Christ, that scared the tits off me."

And Simon Riley has immediately grabbed his tit and shook his head, uttering a very serious: "No, it didn't. Still there, still perky."

That day, they learned that John can swing significantly faster than Simon can duck.

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Catching Soap taking pics of you in an airport terminal...

You try to ignore it. Maybe he was taking a picture of the airport in general, maybe it was a selfie- either way, you’re not about to confront a man that looks like bootcamp and protein powder incarnate in the case that he is.

Once boarded, you find yourself beside a kind-looking older woman that lets you have the window seat, the prior incident readily forgotten as you settle in. A flight attendant crouches beside her, but you pay it no mind, too busy prepping your in-flight comforts to watch on while the woman gathers her belongings and vacates the seat.

You lean back, waiting for take-off.

"-here you are, Sergeant- once again, we're deeply sorry about the seating mix-up with your partner- a-and thank you for your service, we hope you'll continue to fly with us."

That snaps you out of your thoughts.

Looking up, you find the man from earlier staring down at you with a pleased grin. After a beat, his head swings back around to the flight attendant.

"Dinnae worry 'bout tha'- just glad it got sorted."

He tosses his carry-on overhead, arms bulging with the movement before he plops himself down into the seat beside you, an exasperated grunt passing his lips. He lifts the seperating arm rest, thick legs spreading out so your thighs touch.

"-um?"

He clicks his tongue and jerks his knee into yours. "Saw ye' looking at me in the terminal, would be a shame t'leave ye' be, aye?"