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sorry for being so obsessed with that little man who lives in my head. as if i have any choice

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Tumblr is the kind of website where I can just tell someone their cat looks like an evil vizier with no further context and everyone will understand that it was a compliment

Reddit is the kind of website where I cannot do that

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there is something so virtuous and cheerful about the humble green light. particularly when compared with its brother, the vicious and mocking red light

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what will it be, boss? the comfort of misery or the pain of change?

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screaming at this

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just had a convo with my friend. she mentioned she doesnt like sake cause its sparkling.

“wait, sake is sparkling? what have i been drinking?” i said. because i also dont like sparkling stuff.

i look at the sake bottle ive been drinking from for fun events for the past year. its vinegar.

i’ve been drinking strawberry flavored vinegar.

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me when i see a cat: CAT! cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat

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People: the normal amount of pain is zero

Me, chronically ill: sounds sketchy but okay

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the existence of "maybe", "perhaps", "perchance", and "mayhaps" suggests there should also be "maychance" and "perbe"

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eat him out wednesday or whatever. i've stopped keeping track

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Sorry not sorry

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Me reaching what looks suspiciously to be the end of my rope: oobh i got plany off rope

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Got reminded again of my old coworker who was a massive misogynist but also trans inclusive. Told me he believed trans women are indeed women because "only women would be stupid enough to want to be women"

I wonder what he's doing now

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Mad about politics again

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can I post my favorite snail pic? I'll keep it rotating