aquaticseaduction

[aquaticseaduction]

When it rains, it fucking pours, ma dude!

Ok, so y'all ready for a bedtime story?

My ex bf and i decided to try an open relationship a few months back. So i could experiment with girls, but guys weren't off limits either. My bf hadnt really been looking, but i definitely was. (Our sex drives are different and mine is slightly higher than his)

So then, one of our friends come to visit and me and him were hitting it off more than usual. There was a night where we "almost" kissed, but didnt. He leaves and alls well that ends well.

Except then, few weeks later, after we both opened up about some personal shit (he came out as bi to me and talked about a few other things) we ended up flirting and then eventually sexting. Oops.

He also basically said he'd be down to hook up and silly me, I asked my bf if we could hook up in this open relationship. I also gave my bf full permission to hook up with my friends if they were interested.

He was down and said sure. Not an eager sure, but sure, nonetheless.

Me, my bf and this mutual friend all talked with one another and set up a date. The date went well!

But then I come home, and my bf is acting upset, but saying that its fine. Hes just not used to it. I told him, i can stop if he wants me too. He says to maybe cool it for a week or two. (Mind you, my bf and I are still having sex and nothing in our relationship has changed.)

So then, a few weeks go by and i get the ok to meet up with the friend. But then the same thing happens - i come home to my bf being upset. He then asks if i want to take a break.

I say no and ask if he's not ok with the open relationship anymore. He says he isn't sure.

He then starts projecting his jealousy onto me and I call him out.

This leads to him admitting to cheating on me four years ago, with his ex-gf. (We had been together for 7 years - which means it happened halfway through our time together).

This leads me to wanting space. He doesnt oblige.

I start confiding in the friend more about whats going on (shouldnt have done this)

The friend tells me all the shitty things my bf is saying about me. This leads me to break up with him.

Im still horny though, so i figure it couldnt hurt to sleep with the friend more.

Wrong! The friend has caught feelings and tells me he has had them the whole time.

Im not there yet and ask for space from the friend.

He starts pressuring me about things like living together, kids and possible marriage. I freak and basically ghost him for a week.

After mulling it over, i start to question the friends motives...so then I go back to my ex bf and ask if he really said all these shitty things the friend said.

My ex says no, but i dont believe him 100% (i mean, why should i? He cheated on me 3 years into our relationship, then lied about it for 4 years)

So then he shows me the messages and other proofs and everything the friend said was either an exaggeration or a full on lie.

SO THEN, having this knowledge, I try to cut this friend out and (all while in the process of apartment hunting, finding a place and moving) he keeps trying to chat me up through various social media platforms.

I finally succeed and tell him to let me contact him when im ready (so im thinking never), BUT THEN i find out I'm pregnant and it's his (the friend, not ex-bf)

So NOW, I've made contact with him to help with paying for the struggle. My ex-bf knows and has been being kind enough to help me pack and im still working hella, while being super nauseous and tired.

The moral of the story, Plan B doesn't always work, open relationships CAN work, so long as there is TRUST and OPEN COMMUNICATION (my ex was lacking on BOTH of those) and also, this year fucking sucks.

[aquaticseaduction]

Just an experiment. Reblog if you actually give a fuck about male victims of domestic violence and rape.

[aquaticseaduction]

I'm also a digital artist and lemme tell you....this shit happens every 15 minutes for me 😆

Let it go! - https://www.patreon.com/ramonn90

[aquaticseaduction]

Self repression to self expression

I have not been working for the last few months, so I’ve had a lot of time to think about things.  Myself, my ideals, my anxiety and self-esteem issues, etc.  I’ve realized that (at least for me), i’m constantly boxing myself in - don’t wear that, it’ll make you come off as slutty.  Don’t say that, it’ll make things awkward.  Don’t think that, it’s petty and immature. 

I’ve been policing myself for so long, because THAT’S what society wants from me, that I’ve literally pushed myself into this little glass jar of repression. 

                             I can’t fucking breathe in there anymore.  

I’m tired of gas lighting myself every time I have an emotion that I think society won’t deem “worthy” or “acceptable” (btw, it IS caused by having your emotions invalidated as a child, usually by parents.)  I do this to myself and thus, let others do it to me as well, which breeds trust issue upon trust issue.  

I’m trusting myself more now, because they ARE my emotions, ideas, thoughts, hopes, accomplishments and none of them are fixed; all are malleable.  I think the best part is that i’m not defined by any one or the sum of them. 

I want to live my life, as my weird, quirky, perverted, bisexual, artistic, awkward self right now.  

In a year, i might want to dress as a cyborg and tell people raunchy details of my love life.  

In 5 years, I might be making CGI porn for movies.  

My point is, i’m not going to continue policing my thoughts and actions, out of fear of creating a bad reputation or offending others.  I’ll change my view, opinion, words, to help lift others up, because I truly want that for everyone (except rapists/pedophiles/murderers/assholes), but from now on, i’m not going to apologize for/nor change myself, anymore. 

[aquaticseaduction]

The revelation that the only one stopping you from doing whatever you want, is you.

unknown

[aquaticseaduction]

A week of fucking around (not literally..sort of)

Boyfriend had his best friend over (Let’s call him Daniel) for his birthday week and we all ended up having a blast catching up.  There was one night, where we were talking about our mutual friend (the friend I’m horny for) and it was mentioned he might not be very well-endowed (not that I thought he was, but was DEFINITELY hoping for) and well....now it makes me want to sleep with this mutual friend EVEN MORE NOW.  

LIKE WHAT DOES HIS DICK LOOK LIKE?! lmao, i’m pathetic.  

But other than that, it was fun discovering new music, finding out that Daniel is actually BI and going on about our male crushes as well as female crushes.  It was a lot of fun. 

I want this fucking pandemic to be over so there’s more chances to meet up and seduce him... 

#sexualurges #hornyallthetime #secretmusings #covidkeepscockblocking 

[aquaticseaduction]

My boyfriend’s friend came to buy my car and i’m horny all over again!

Oh boy, i’m obsessed and not sure how to construct my thoughts and plans on this. 

This is the same guy who I’ve had a huge crush on for a couple of years now.  While I plan on eventually mentioning that my boyfriend and I are doing an open relationship now, I just don’t see a point yet with Covid 19 still going on. 

I also sold him my car I’ve had since I moved out of my parents place 10 years ago...that was bittersweet.   I know she’s in good hands and I’ll see her again, but Oof - I think I didn’t realize how soon I’d sell my car.  

Back to the friend - I forgot how tall he was, how deep his voice is, how broad his shoulders are and how big his hands are.  Normally he’s in his alt-style with lots of rings and shit, but he was dressed down because of the heat.  

I...just...want to fucking mount him. 

I’ve already masturbated once today, I don’t think a second round is going to fix it and my partner is inaccessible at the moment. Womp. 

I also caught his friend staring at my chest...I stole a few glances at his body, myself.  *SIGH* 

[aquaticseaduction]

7 planet (includes Pluto) alignment on this July 4 2020 and during a full moon for us.

2020 is trying to tell us something...

[aquaticseaduction]

Yeah! You cold corndog, you!!!

meirl

[aquaticseaduction]

Me when trying to take a nice, full body photo...except this reptile looks 1000% better than I ever could.

#pullingitoff

I dont think it would bother me so much EXCEPT, there's always the aftermath of seeing people in person.

It usually goes like this

1. You go to party/gathering/bedroom and snap the unflattering photo.

2. This gets posted to Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, etc. and all your friends and family see it.

3. Later that week, you meet up with a friend who ALSO happened to see the unflattering photo and they're shocked. Just straight up dumb-founded. Then they say it.

"HAVE YOU LOST WEIGHT?!?!" Or "YOU LOOK SOOO GOOD!"

4. Say no, watch their face get twisted and perplexed and let them realize that the photo they're referencing, was simply a bad. Fucking. Photo.

5. Avoid taking body photos for another 5 years.

[aquaticseaduction]

I took a quiz to see if i’m really as masochistic as everyone says I am.  Surprise!  but I’m not sure i’m that sadistic either.   hmm..

[aquaticseaduction]

Today I was talking with a friend about my linostamp projects and mentioned how I want to make "naughty" themed ones for Bachelor/Bachelorette parties.

At first, I told her I'd like to make penis and vagina cards, but then i realized, it'd be the perfect way to promote uncircumcised penises, because it seems to be less talked about (even though only 20% of men are circumcised) in social media.

Then I can stamp it on all sorts of shit- christmas, v-day, birthdays, 4th of July.

I'm. So. Ready.

[aquaticseaduction]

Terrible but true confessions: whenever I'm having a low self-esteem day and want to make myself feel better, I watch movies with non-conventionally attractive actresses. Then when the movie ends, I look in the mirror and suddenly feel relieved at the sight of myself.

[aquaticseaduction]

I'm trying to get into some sort of aesthetically pleasing shape and I think I overdid it yesterday.

But I must become swole!!!

[aquaticseaduction]

This!

I didn't full accept my bisexuality until I was 26!! And some people don't figure it out till their 40's!

It's ok!

Just enjoy the ride and struggle of choosing between straight porn and gay porn.

it’s okay to like boys and girls. it’s okay to like boys and girls, everyone in between, and everyone outside the spectrum. it’s okay to have a preference for one gender, or to not have a preference at all. it’s okay to realise a little late. it’s okay to change over time. it’s okay to be a little confused, to be a little scared. there’s no right and wrong when it comes to how you feel. it’s okay to be you.

[aquaticseaduction]

Boyfriend and I just opened our relationship (after 7 years of traditional (but happy!) monogamy, and I'm SO excited!

I've incidentally made a list of people I want to bang first, but now I've got no clue on how to talk to them about it. Not to mention, with covid19 still a thing, who knows if I'll be able to meet up with any of them....

But I guess that's what zoom/Skype and sexting is for.

Amirite? ;P

[aquaticseaduction]

Unpopular Opinion:

While the BLM movement is necessary and for a good cause, I personally am having a hard time not succumbing to depressed thoughts because it's all violence and anger right now.

I need a break, for my mental well being and so do you.