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arcanefauna · 1 year
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big mood 
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arcanefauna · 1 year
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arcanefauna · 1 year
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arcanefauna · 1 year
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tee hee
Reblog to put one of these in your mutuals’ pocket when they’re not looking
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arcanefauna · 2 years
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Just saw someone on campus stop the person ahead of me to ask for directions and this poor man just looks at the student's phone and goes "I don't know how to tell you this... you're on the wrong campus. You're in the wrong city."
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arcanefauna · 2 years
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photos by fieldnotesbyfi
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arcanefauna · 2 years
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lesbian velma is canon (+ more of her being a disaster gay)
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arcanefauna · 2 years
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shes fat
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arcanefauna · 2 years
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tubi is one of our greatest warriors in the fight against streaming services costing a fortune for mediocre content. tubi has the most insane collection of movies you will ever encounter all for free. it has cult classics and questionable lifetime movies and movies that nobody except like three people on the planet have ever seen. tubi has movies that doesn’t exist. like if you just thought of a movie one day but never made it and no one ever made it it would somehow still exist on tubi. one day i will log onto tubitv dot com and i will see terribly inappropriate, overly complex, and strange on there. and i won’t even be surprised.
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arcanefauna · 2 years
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Dream looks like Shane Dawson
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arcanefauna · 2 years
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Adrenaline
Fandom: Victorious
For Sicktember Day 24: “i need you to pull over!”
Robbie/Jade
When Robbie has a life-threatening allergic reaction, Jade finds herself responding in unexpected ways.
@sicktember
“Let’s go,” Jade ordered. She flung open the passenger door and went to start the car.
“Coming, coming!” Robbie hopped in and hurriedly slammed the door.
She didn’t want to be doing this. A play Jade had written was premiering soon at Hollywood Arts. She didn’t cast it; Sikowitz had. That’s how Robbie ended up as the lead. Some local news show that covered community events couldn’t find enough craft fairs and soup sales to cover, so they asked Jade and Robbie to come over for an interview. Robbie was eager, but Jade only went when forced by Sikowitz. He said local news was the backbone of America and blah, blah, blah.
Well, not exactly local news. It was an hour away.
And Robbie’s car was in the shop.
Jade was stuck driving him home, and she rolled her eyes as he fumbled with the seat belt. She pulled out of the parking lot, trying to ignore his stupidity.
“Can we listen to music?” Robbie asks.
“Do you really think this will be some road trip with your BFF?’ Jade shot back.
“No. I just want music.”
Jade growled. “Turn on something good then.”
Robbie flipped through stations, but nothing good was playing.
There was a sharp intake of breath. “Jade!”
“What?” She replied, voice dripping with annoyance.
“There’s a wasp in the car!”
Jade flicked her eyes over and saw the agitated insect. “What do you want me to do about it?”
Robbie took off his shoe, flailing his arms as he tried to squish the wasp. “Ow! It stung me!” He exclaimed, sounding offended. With a desire for revenge, Robbie slammed his shoe into the dashboard and let out a victorious laugh.
“Do you mind? I’m trying to wreck this car.” Jade let the annoyance color her voice black.
“The wasp stung me,” Robbie moaned. He held up his left wrist with his shirtsleeve rolled up. It was already swelling and red.
Jade inwardly pitied Robbie, but instead said, “Get over it.”
“Can we please stop at a drug store? It’s itchy.” Robbie knew he shouldn’t scratch too hard, so he rubbed his wrist on his black jeans.
“Not for awhile. The next exists are blocked for construction.” Jade didn’t sound so snarky this time. She looked over at Robbie and sighed. “If you keep doing that, your arm’s gonna really swell up. Not that I care.”
“You’re right.” Robbie folded his hands and tried to concentrate on the static-filled yacht rock on the radio. He had never been stung by a wasp before, so he didn’t know what to expect. Maybe the vague feeling of dread and confusion was normal. And Jade was right—his wrist was rapidly swelling.
The radio became clearer and Robbie let himself be distracted. “I love this song!” he announced. It was Asia’s “Heat of the Moment.”
I never meant to be so bad to you,
One thing I said that I would never do.
A look at you and I would fall from grace
And that would wipe the smile right from my face.
Jade sucked in a breath. Why was the world intent on reminding her of breaking up with Beck? She glanced at Robbie, singing and fidgeting in his seat, to help her refocus on the road.
And when your looks are gone and you’re alone
How many nights you sit beside the phone?
What were the things you wanted for yourself?
Teenage ambitions you remember well.
Robbie’s singing became a little strained and Jade realized he wasn’t fidgeting, but scratching. When the song ended, Robbie groaned in frustration. “Jade, I’m so itchy!” he whined, clawing his collarbone.
She sighed. “No duh. In case you forgot, you were stung by a wasp.”
“But I’m not just itchy where I got stung anymore.”
This caught Jade’s attention Weren’t you just supposed to feel itchy around the sting for a few days and then it was over? “Where else are you itchy?”
“Both my arms now. My chest. My shoulders, so my back might be next.” Robbie unbuckled his seat belt.
“What the heck?” Jade exclaimed. She had to force herself to look at the road while Robbie raced to take off his button-down and throw it on the floor.
“Oh…” Robbie squeaked.
Jade took in Robbie’s current state as much as she could while keeping the car on the road. “Aw, frick, Robbie.”
Robbie stared stupefied at the hives covering his body. “I guess I’m allergic to wasp stings,” he said slowly.
“I’ll get off at the next exist, but I’m not sure when that’ll be,” Jade actually felt bad for Robbie. Huh.
Robbie let out a shaky breath. “I just need to calm down.” He turned up the radio to provide a distraction from the itching and the bad feeling washing over him, but smiled to hear Robert Palmer’s “Addicted to Love.”
“How are you?” Jade asked, trying not to sound as concerned as she was.
Robbie cleared his throat. “As good as I can be.” He cleared his throat again, then started coughing.
Jade couldn’t ignore her alarm. “Robbie, what happening?”
His coughing fit ended with a wheeze. “I don’t know, and I’m kinda scared.”
“There are no exits for a while.” Jade realized with dread.
Robbie coughed and wheezed and curled in on himself as nausea suddenly smacked at him. “I need you to pull over!” He yelled, ending with a loud sucking breath.
Jade felt ice pour into her veins. She threw on the turn signal and quickly jerked the car to edge of the road. It gave a little hop when she put it into Park.
Robbie scrambled to open the door. He flopped on the gravel-coated ground. Jade rushed over as Robbie took quick breaths with wide eyes and sunk to the ground beside him. The hives were even worse on his bare chest and covered his whole back. She didn’t know how to comfort him. Jade tentatively put a hand on his shoulder. He tensed and vomited. Again and again his body heaved. All she could do was stroke his back and pat his shoulder. Maybe she was aggravating his hives, but that was the least of Robbie’s problems.
After the painful dry heaving subsided, Robbie collapsed back into Jade. He was breathing like he had just sprinted. When he spoke, he sounded small and strangled. “Help me. I’m really scared right now.”
Jade swallowed. “I’m calling 911.” She raced to her phone in the center console and steeled herself for the call. Jade told the dispatcher the nearest mile marker and that her friend couldn’t breath right because of an allergic reaction. She had returned to sitting with Robbie by this point, still describing his symptoms. Jade ran her hands through his hair to provide some comfort while he was wheezing hard.
“So dizzy, Jade,” Robbie mumbled. Jade’s heart fell. The dispatcher said an ambulance would arrive soon, and instructed Jade to elevate Robbie’s feet. She pulled him into the passenger seat and lifted his legs onto the dash. Without thinking, she went back to running her fingers through his hair. He smiled. She asked if having his legs up helped.
“A little, I guess. I can’t catch my breath.” Robbie was terrified and seemed to be fading. Jade squeezed his hand. He coughed a few times, leaving him wheezing helplessly. “Talk to me,” he begged.
“Uh, okay.” Jade tried to think of something to say that, if she were Robbie, wouldn’t be seen as empty platitudes. She couldn’t come up with anything. “The weather is good? And…I didn’t know that you knew ‘80s songs, but I guess you do, because you were singing to the radio. I mean, I don’t know a lot about you…I remember the first time I met you. I thought you were a dork, but, like a really talented dork. And you annoy me, but I don’t know why. You—frick, how did you get this bad so fast?” Jade was powerless to stop the tears leaking down her cheeks or Robbie’s shaking, gasping breaths.
Then there was a distant sound…”The ambulance! You’re gonna be okay, Robbie, you’re gonna be okay.” Jade waved her arms as the ambulance approached. She passed her hand through Robbie hair once more.
“What’s…gonna happen?” Robbie asked through panting breaths.
“I’m not sure, but they’ll probably give you an epi-pen, or something.” “Will you…come…to the hospital?”
“Yeah, of course I will.” And then the ambulance was pulling in front of the car with a deafening blare of sirens. Robbie was loaded into the ambulance, the paramedics told her what hospital they were going to, and then they shot off down the highway. Even Jade didn’t dare drive that fast, but followed along and kept the ambulance in her sight. Finally it got off at an exit and she wove through the streets until she could stop the car in the emergency room parking lot, resting her head on the steering wheel and trembling for a moment before going into the hospital.
At the desk, she asked about Robbie and was told he was being treated. She said her name was Tori Shapiro, his sister, and was assured she would be the first to know any information.
Jade tried to make herself comfortable in a patterned vinyl chair in the waiting room. She watched some documentary on the TV about a woman who killed her husband. She paged through the People magazines. She felt she should call someone, tell someone that Robbie was so sick, but who would she call? Robbie’s parents should be notified, but she had no way of knowing how to contact them. Cat would be useless. Tori wouldn’t do well under this kind of stress, not that she could say she was doing all that well. Her impulse was to call Beck, but what would she say? Robbie’s in the hospital, and I need you here for him and me, even though we just broke up. I’m not sure anymore if I ever loved you or I just loved the idea of you?
Yeah, she wasn’t calling Beck. So, Andre it was. Her voice sounded so small when she spoke to him, and she hated it, but she couldn’t refrain from crying when she told Andre about having to pull over and seeing Robbie go downhill fast.
“I…seeing him like that, when he couldn’t even breathe…I just wanna see Robbie.” She whimpered.
Andre inhaled. “Look, I’m sure they’re doing all they can for him. Hang in there, and tell Robbie I’m think of him” Andre and Jade and chatted a while longer, and then Jade was left with only the local news to keep her company.
Stupid local news.
What would she say when she could finally talk to Robbie? She had never been good at comforting. To comfort someone meant them being vulnerable, and you being vulnerable right there with them. Jade West did not do vulnerable, didn’t let herself get hurt.
Except she was hurt. There had been times—most of the time, actually—when she couldn’t stand Beck. Now that he was gone, Jade felt herself drifting with no direction. Or maybe it wasn’t that, but the fact that she could no longer deny the bitter truth—she had never loved Beck and wondered if she could love anyone.
What was with the introspection all of a sudden? She knew, though, instantly, that seeing Robbie have a life-threatening allergic reaction put things into perspective. No illusions could remain in her mind.
Jade was filled with an urge to care for Robbie that originated deep in her core. She wanted to hold Robbie, to tell him he would be okay, to…run her fingers through his hair until she felt him relax.
This was not the Jade West she knew.
——
“Tori? Tori Shapiro?” A nurse called. It took Jade a moment to startle awake and recall that was supposed to be her. The nurse sat down. “So I guess you know your brother had an allergic reaction?”
“How is he? Is he doing any better now?”
The nurse smiled. “A lot better. He went into anaphylactic shock, which is a severe allergic reaction with low blood pressure. Robbie was one sick kid for a while there. Anaphylaxis is very serious, and wasp stings can cause particularly bad reactions. Now, thankfully, his blood pressure is stabilizing, his breathing has settled, and the reaction isn’t progressing. I bet you wanna see him, so let’s go.”
A weight was thrown off Jade’s stomach as she thanked the nurse and followed her through the halls until she reached a door. Knocking softly, the nurse said, “Hey. I brought your sister Tori to see you.”
“My sister Tori? I–” Robbie shut up as Jade made a slashing motion across her throat.
The nurse left, and Jade was able to fully take in the situation. Robbie was connected to an IV and heart monitor. He was receiving oxygen through a tube under his nose. The patterned purple hospital gown contrasted with his deep pink hives. His face was puffy, but that was nothing compared to his red, swollen left arm. Robbie looked miserable, but Jade had never been happier to see him.
“Hey, sis,” Robbie giggled, then coughed.
Jade looked away. “I figured they had to let me in if I was family.”
Robbie looked shocked. “Thanks, Jade.”
Jade bit the inside of her mouth to keep from grinning like an idiot. “Are you doing any better?”
“A lot better,” Robbie smiled ruefully. “I feel like someone tried to clean me with a pressure washer.”
Jade just stared. Robbie was safe. He wasn’t wheezing, he could talk, and he could even joke around. He heart had quickened at his smile. Or maybe it had quickened whenever she had unknowingly grasped Robbie’s hand.
Robbie’s eyes flicked to their joined hands, but gave no reaction. “Thanks for everything,” He said instead.
“For everything?” Jade asked incredulously.
“Jade…” Robbie’s voice was hoarse yet strong. “I was terrified and you got me through it. When I needed you to be strong, you were.”
Jade blushed with shame. “I don’t…take care of people.”
“But you did, and you are. People change, Jade,” Robbie had the strangest look on his face. Transfixed, Jade thought she had nothing to lose, and she threaded the fingers of her other hand through Robbie’s hair. It was curly silk to her.
“Robbie…All I wanna do is make you feel better. Seeing you like that…” Jade could barely think of anything else but her fluttery heart and Robbie—his hair, his skin, his hopeful eyes, his lips—
Jade had always been the kind of person to act first, ask questions later. Despite how strangely she had been acting today, this instinct kicked in yet again.
Jade cupped the back of Robbie’s neck, her other hand on his cheek. She leaned in and kissed him, feather light and lingering. She pulled back, saw Robbie’s dilated eyes and sweet smile, and kissed him again. This time, she pushed against his mouth, his neck tensing and relaxing. Jade had no conscious thought until Robbie shook his head. He was panting.
“Need to catch my breath. Anaphylaxis, remember?” He explained, sheepish and dazed.
Robbie tried to raise his hand to touch Jade’s face, but his good arm was weighed down by IV lines. Jade covered his hand with her own.
“Wow. Robbie Shapiro,” she mumbled.
“Jade West,” he teased. Then he added seriously, “I had no idea you were so sweet.”
“No one’s ever called me sweet.” “They don’t know you like this. I’m just lucky to know the truth.” Robbie was mesmerized by the girl next to him.
Robbie shifted his hand, and Jade caught his drift. She let Robbie take her hand, and he stroked it with his thumb.
Eventually, Robbie remember that he needed to tell his parents all that had gone on, and then he was moved to the observation ward for the night.
Jade and Robbie watched mindless television until his parents arrived. She tried to slip away from their worry over their son and gratitude for her.
“I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?” he called out, hope in his voice.
“You didn’t even have to ask.” she responded, and then she was gone.
—–
Jade’s heart worked double time as the phone rang. She felt she would lose control when she heard his voice.
“How are you today?” The words rushed out.
Robbie laughed. “Great. Still itchy, but they said that would stick around for a bit. I’m getting discharged today.”
Jade felt her heart slow down.
Robbie said he would try to go to school the next day—Monday—and Jade said she would see him there with a smile in his voice.
Beck never made her feel this way.
——-
Robbie came to school on Monday, though he probably shouldn’t have. He wore a jacket, likely to hide his wasp sting, Jade suspected. He just seemed wiped out, and he squirmed and twitched all day, though the hives on his neck and face had gone away.
Normally Jade would relentlessly torment Robbie over this. Instead, she cornered him in the hallway and asked him how he was holding up.
Robbie was baffled that Jade would talk to him like this when anyone at school could see. “I’m not good,” he answered. “I’m so exhausted, all I wanna do is scratch, and my arm burns where I got stung.” He unzipped his jacket and carefully peeled it off.
“Oh, Robbie…that’s bad.” His whole left forearm was swollen, and Jade made a noise of sympathy as Robbie lifted his shirt and revealed hives on his chest to match those on his arms. “You should go home.” That deep-seated desire was back, telling her to hold Robbie, take him home, apply lotion to his hives…
“Just…if you get worse, go to the office.” She ordered, though her voice wasn’t sharp.
Through his misery, Robbie wondered how Jade had become so caring so fast. As she walked away, Jade wondered the same thing.
——
Robbie spent Monday evening sleeping and Tuesday morning doing all the homework he should have done the night before. The evening was spent at Andre’s working on a project, but tomorrow he would be with Jade. He had to be. He needed to tease out this seismic shift in their relationship.
“My car’s still out of commission. Can you drive me home tomorrow?” He texted Jade later that night.
The reply came quickly: “Yeah oc.”
Now all he had to do was wait.
—-
Wednesday started wonderfully for Robbie. He was finally victorious over his hives and clear skin had won out. After he popped a Benadryl, his wasp sting stopped irritating him. And he had a fluttery feeling of hope for the drive home from school.
Jade was her usually snarky, sarcastic self, though none of it was directed at Robbie.
Robbie was keyed up all day, but finally the bell rang for the last time and he waited for Jade at his locker. She strode down the steps, wavy hair bouncing, wearing a red shirt, black sweater, black miniskirt and tights, and those boots…
It seemed Robbie was willing to make a one-time exception to the type of girl he usually found attractive.
“You ready to go?” she asked.
Robbie nodded. Before he knew it, he was once again flipping through radio stations in Jade’s car. Jade enjoyed knowing Robbie was sneaking glances at her and enjoyed for the second time Addicted to Love.
You can’t sleep, you can’t eat
There’s no doubt, you’re in deep
You’re throat is tight, you can’t breathe
Another kiss is all you need
You like to think that you’re immune to the stuff, oh yeah
It’s closer to the truth to say you can’t get enough
You know you’re gonna have to face it, you’re addicted to love.
When the parked, Robbie turned. “Do you wanna come in for a bit?”
She opened the car door.
Robbie ushered her inside and upstairs to his bedroom in the empty house. It was filled with odds and ends, but everything had a place. He closed the door softly.
“What are we doing?” His voice was husky.
Jade stared. “I don’t know, but I like it.” she said, uncharacteristically unsure.
Robbie touched her wrist, held her hand. “Do you like it enough to continue?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you like it enough to be my girlfriend?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh, Jade.” Robbie had energy flowing through his fingertips as he caressed Jade’s neck. Fire burst on her skin where he touched. Robbie found the nape of her neck and played with the hair at her scalp.
“You know, what happening between us is like getting hives.” He remarked.
Jade stilled her hands. Was really going to ruin this moment?
Robbie rested his his forehead on hers for a second, then went back to fixing her with that powerful look. “You got under my skin out of nowhere. I couldn’t think of anything else but wanting to scratch this itch. When I got to scratch a little, the itch just got worse and worse. I need a cure. Are you gonna cure me, Jade?”
Jade cupped his neck. “You know all I wanna do is make you feel better.”
Robbie kissed her hand, and then their hands were in each other’s hair. Jade smiled against Robbie’s lips as a rush of adrenaline made her heart pound.
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arcanefauna · 2 years
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the red guy duck guy dynamic in the tv show is bonkers. you’re my best friend we’re divorced i barely know you i see you every day of my life i wouldn’t be sad if you died i can’t imagine life without you we both suck i know everything about you you’re my family i’ve known you forever i’ve only just met you i want to leave you behind you’re part of me we’re raising a child together who we verbally abuse and also you bite him but somehow we’re still better than his biological father we share a lawyer i want you to shut the fuck up i like looking at you we’re living together in an eternal looping happy hell and sometimes we realize it but we’re too selfish and cruel and short-sighted to ever do anything meaningful about it we’re all there is we’re not really living i escaped once, in another life, and i tried to save you and i couldn’t and none of it mattered anyways
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arcanefauna · 2 years
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Gamerz
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arcanefauna · 2 years
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Amazing gag in NATM:
Jed and Octavius peeking out of lookouts and trying to be sneaky
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arcanefauna · 2 years
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i will not explain night at the museum to people on pinterest i will not explain night at the museum to people on pinterest i will not explain night at the museum to people on pinterest i will not e
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arcanefauna · 2 years
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Flautist Melissa Jefferson plays slaver James Madison's 200-year-old crystal flute in the Library of Congress.
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arcanefauna · 2 years
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NOOOOO NOT COMING AT ME BUT OCTAVIUS AND JEDEDIAH ARE DATING
In honor of this monumental day (21st September) I present to you a video that has been in my drafts for weeks collecting dust
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