halfway through reading Unmasking Autism at the suggestion of my therapist and countless other autistics online. so far my take away for the main message has been: “here is exactly why you are deeply unhappy. you will continue to be deeply unhappy unless you make drastic changes to the very core of the way you behave and understand yourself. making these changes may make certain things in your life even more difficult than they already are.” and i just have to sit here and take that in while still questioning if i’d qualify as autistic or if i’m “autistic enough.”
i need the four people on this website who have both watched mash and star trek enterprise to understand the vision that i just had, and it's that colonel flagg is a temporal agent like daniels from enterprise. both of them were clearly in the bottom 10% at temporal agent school, maybe even roommates, which is why the temporal cold war is such a mess that only gets progressively worse every time daniels touches it, and the mash 4077 can't get un-stuck from the korean war for 11 goddamn years. they are very bad at their jobs. this is also why ***gestures to colonel flagg's whole deal that is clearly not endorsed by the CIA*** and why daniels tried to convince captain archer that he was a trustworthy person from the future because "you like your scrambled eggs soft."
this is the deepest cut i think i could make but i have made it.
every day i am a little sad i didn't get to experience the summer of 2020 mash/beejhawk renaissance live, but also i think if i hadn't specifically watched the entire show in a few weeks right after moving out for the first time it would not have hit the same. so it's a wash, i guess.