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— blog update

You may have noticed I have moved blogs far too many times in the last few months. It's been an experimental period for me, testing which system works better for most people, what is best for me and what is best for you.

I had settled on a system ( which was well, this blog ), but after the last events of half my dash being involved in drama, I felt the urge to move for my own safety of mind. Drama is the only reason I will hard-block, and the trigger which upsets me the most. Things are better for me now, and moving somewhere else, on a multimuse blog I feel safe, helped ease my stress.

Now, this post is the explanation of my last blog move ( for real this time ). I won't be reblogging this post, this will serve as a pinned in case anyone wishes to know what happened, and where to find me. My new blog is:

moved → @h0pefall

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轟焦凍

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@hellflcmes asked:

‘regress’

Send ‘regress’ to meet my muse as a child.

Innocence lost, was suddenly found. Fear to have faded, would dominate one's heart again. Was this a reminder, of who they used to be, and who they had turned into? Had the sins of the past, came knocking on their door?

Shoto didn't completely understand what had happened, when struggling to make sense of panicked words, coming from people he didn't recognize. It seemed as if it weren't his clothes to have gone bigger, but himself turned smaller. The result of a Quirk, this was supposed to be, along with the source of this overwhelming confusion. The only familiar face, was that of his father's, when it was decided it was better to be returned in his care ( wasn't he already? But the boy knew better than to trouble the heroes with his annoying questions ).

It became harder to breathe when he'd be around. As if running out of oxygen, as if his heart would burst inside his chest. Part of him didn't want to let go of the hero's hand, knowing what the consequences would be, when he'd follow his father home. He didn't care what would happen to himself. It was his mother he was worried about. Worried she'd pay for his mistakes, once again a martyr for his wrongdoings. Unable to protect her, his only hope was to make him proud, make sure not to disappoint or anger him, yet he'd fail at that too, over and over again. Guilt had closed the boy's throat, as he'd dare to look up, wondering what kind of expression he'd wear. His sight, would surprise Shoto — flames of rage no longer burnt in his dad's eyes, and his appearance had changed. As if staring at someone else, and not the person to haunt him both when awake and sleeping.

Finding a bit of courage within him, he walked closer to him, fists holding tight onto the oversized shirt he had been wearing. “ Dad. ” Eyes silently begged for forgiveness. An apology wouldn't change anything, but maybe, he could convince him it was his fault only, whatever that was. “ I-I'm sorry . . . ” Gaze fell to the ground, not having the stomach to face him much longer.

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There is a big controversy for the scene immediately before Shoto's birth, people said it clearly implies Shoto is the consequence of rape. I think that kind ruined the point they wanted to do with Touya saying Rei is guilty too having accepted the arrangement and that is particularly weird if you think they stressed a lot how Rei's family was just being greed and Rei could/should say no to the entire thing. Now, I think a lot of people are projecting and thinking in that situation could be just coercive rape no matter what the author wanted to do (it happened often in Downton Abbey, Fellowes just can't write seduction scenes, so a lot of fans talk about coercive rape even thinking it was never treated like such in the show), but do you think it was actually what the Bones wanted to imply, or is it just awkwardly done?

I think the scene brings up the very complex question of the issue of consent inside an arranged marriage. 

Endeavor married Rei with the stated reason of a quirk marriage. He was upfront about his expectations, and Rei’s family wanted his money. Rei was clearly pressured into it, but she at least nominally “had a choice”.  A deal was made - Enji would provide financially for Rei’s family, and Rei would provide him with children with the desired quirk mix. 

But after things go south with Touya, I feel like Rei expected Enji to stop (like the doctor told them to). And she clearly was appalled at the idea of creating children with the express reason to “discourage Touya”.  But the problem is - if she refuses, she breaks her end of the deal they made. So she “goes along”, probably to keep the family peace. 

And when Natsuo is not a success, she knows what that means, what the expections are. 

Do I think Enji jumped her right there and then and raped her?

No. 

Do I think Rei accepted to have children she felt were being conceived for the wrong reason because that was her end of the deal and she didn’t think she’d have the power to say no?

Yes. 

Does that make it a rape?

I have a law degree and still couldn’t tell you for sure. But in the legal sense, probably not. 

Do I think that absolves Rei of all responsibility?

No. I don’t. Like Touya said, she is guilty too. She is party to the original sin of the quirk marriage. And yes, she was young and she was pressured and she didn’t have good choices. But that doesn’t mean she didn’t have choices at all. 

Refusing the marriage would have disappointed her parents, sure. She may have been kicked out of the family, forced to fend for herself, possibly. 

And yes, divorce in Japan is a different thing than in the West - with the power-imbalance, Rei probably couldn’t have left Endeavor even if she tried. But she never tried. 

Rei is a victim too, and went into the marriage with the naïve thought that things would turn out ok if she kept a smile. And you can see how the powerlessness that she felt, her inability to protect her children, the abuse wore her down to the point of madness. 

I feel like actually more than the physical abuse, the thing that drives her crazy is Endeavor yelling at her for not protecting Touya, when she knows that she can’t protect him, unless he steps up. He’s accusing her of the very thing she feels so guilty about but has no solution to. A truly tragic spiral.

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Shouto Todoroki (轟 ���凍) - Boku no Hero Academia - Episode 130

BONUS

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here’s some smorches for you!! i hope your day gets better!!!

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@withsorrowandregret asked:

[  nap  ] (Midoriya for Todoroki)

nonverbal  meme  prompts

[  nap  ]  sender  falls  asleep  against  receiver

Rest, no matter how crucial to all, had no place in the schedule of the students in class 1-A. Hectic was the rhythm of their lives, as time would add to their responsibilities. Running faster towards the goals they had set, none would take a moment to catch their breath, as if hypnotized by the hope they were close enough to almost grasp what they dreamt of becoming. As if they chased after a chance they wouldn't come across again, they'd give everything they had not to miss it. Moments of peace wouldn't be earned with ease, and often, wouldn't be appreciated. Because they always had more of themselves to dedicate, limits they could push further, bits of strength they could still take advantage of.

Shoto wasn't any different, not when he still was in his starting line, chasing after everyone else, in his race of discovering himself. To think, for so long, he falsely believed he was ahead, far away so none would ever reach him. Arrogance, pain, played nasty tricks with one's brain, altering reality to his needs. Only for someone to wake him up, from his lonely state of existence, and remind him, he hadn't taken the road in life he had chosen, and he had to start over — so he'd follow him, in the path he had taken, with steady and quick steps, when agonizingly watching him drift away from his sight.

Midoriya was the worst case of them all, having a habit of pushing himself past his breaking point. When his classmate fell asleep right next to him, he wasn't taken by surprise, even if usually it'd happen the other way around — Shoto giving in to his body's demands of recharging, and ending up sleeping at the most absurd places and the most random times. To see his friend surrendering to exhaustion, was a good sign. Thankfully, there still were things out of his control, considering how self-destructive was the other, never paying mind to his own needs. No hero, no mentor could teach him how to care for himself, leaving it up to them, those who worried for him, to keep an eye on him, and care for him in ways he wouldn't.

This time, Shoto happened to be the one responsible, when the green-haired leant against his shoulder, relaxing in his presence. His breathing had slowed down, emerald eyes sealed shut. He'd wear an expression he could stare for hours — of pure peace, a surprisingly rare sight. How simple, yet how fascinating moments like these were. Watching a friend peacefully sleep, stay by his side so he'd rest comfortably, offer enough warmth, count his breaths, as if failing to believe he was part of this — how from an outsider, an indifferent passer-by, suddenly he had earned the place of a friend, of someone who could silently watch and admire his bright course of life. The place of someone who found peace, in watching him rest, even for a short while.

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baby shouto

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Ep 130 promo sketch by Akiyama Yoco

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Happy birthday to Shouto! 

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withsorrowandregret asked ( once upon a time ago ):

early morning rain  ,    heedless    &.    turbulent  ,    scurried down the windows  .    the perpetual music of water drops upon glass soothed his nerves  ,    if only a little  .    not enough to liberate him from the need to march the corridor up and down  ,    awaiting the awakening of his friend  .    the fraction of a second midoriya heard the door open  ,    he must have nearly tackled the birthday boy the the ground in a fusion of enthusiasm    &.    nerves  .    scarred digits offered a small package  ,    neatly wrapped in sapphire    &.    ruby shades  ,    for celebration  ;    a self - made good luck charm stacked on tickets for an amusement park  .

❝    happy birthday  ,    todoroki - kun  !    ❞

His alarm signed the beginning of a new day, a day Shoto hadn't been looking forward to, not more than any other. He'd intentionally ignore the texts on his phone, still in a morning haze where he couldn't deal with the wishes of his family ( the only people he expected to remember what day it was, if caring to text him this early ). He realized he was mistaken though, when he found someone standing at his door. Having woken up at the sound of heavy rain, and meeting his most dear friend first thing in the morning, was more than he could have ever asked to brighten up his day, but it seemed as if more awaited him.

If only Midoriya knew his place in Shoto's heart. His hero, bright and as if standing on a pedestal, beyond his reach. But suddenly, he was there, right in front of him, not as Deku but simply as his friend, an image he wouldn't forget as long as he lived, for this was a day different than most. Not a reminder of his loneliness, like his past birthdays used to be, but the reminder of his inner growth, and the connections he had made in the last year. Becoming someone he didn't despise, and who could be taught what was like to be loved again. All because of HIM.

“ You remembered? ” were the first words to slip his mouth, surprise evident in his eyes as he stared at the green-haired and the offered gift. As if the sour past memories of this day no longer had a place in his heart, as if replaced by the sentiment of this moment, Shoto smiled at the other. A wide smile free of any reservations, of any dark thoughts to cloud his heart and mind. “ Thank you, Midoriya. ” How sweet were the words, a different taste than usual. Carefully he'd attempt to unwrap the present, a bit uncertain if that was the tradition, revealing what his friend had made for him and the tickets. He took the charm in his hand, holding it tight to his fist as if it was his most precious possession. “ I'll always have this with me. ” He cast another glance of gratitude, and next to his attention were the tickets. “ Would you mind going with me? ” He never had gone to a place like this, and only if it was with Midoriya, it'd be really worth it. “ It's a place you should go with friends, right? ”

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take a nap here

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withsorrowandregret asked ( once upon a time ago ):

❝   s —   shoto  ,  ❞  midoriya stammered  ,   digits fidgeting with nervous energy  ,   hesitation echoing faintly in the tone of his voice  .   why was he so nervous  ,  now  ?   They had practiced together before  ,  hadn’t they  ?    ❝   i uh  ,   really need to practice  , and I have been wanting to ask —   would you help me  ?   ❞

There were moments throughout their day when Shoto struggled to grasp the reasoning behind Midoriya’s reactions. The green-haired seemed to operate with no system to the way he'd respond to the variety of challenges they'd face. Minor issues that required the slightest of effort could sometimes drive the other to the edge, when life-threatening missions could be dealt with a smile on his face, and an ease to accompany a pro. There wasn't a logical explanation, not a pattern to detect in his behavior. Shoto had been watching his friend closely, with passion comparable to his friend's when he'd analyze Quirks and battle techniques, yet without coming to a conclusion. He should have given up by this point, the heart was unpredictable after all, but it wasn't a matter of curiosity any longer. This extended to what the level of their friendship was, how well they knew one another, and when to intervene in one’s moments of hardship.

Being called by his first name, which also happened to be the hero name he had chosen, was accompanied by a friendlier air, one the two often shared. The question wasn't an unusual one, yet for one more time, Shoto couldn't put his finger on what was going on. What could have possibly upset the other — the source of his discomfort. “ Of course, ” he replied. He had planned to train once he was finished with his cup of tea anyway, so there wouldn't be a change in his plans. Not that he wouldn't have rearranged his whole schedule if Midoriya had asked it of him. “ Is something wrong? ”

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my favourite characters in no particular order: 5/? ↳ Todoroki Shouto ✩「轟焦凍」

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withsorrowandregret asked ( once upon a time ago ):

[  ill  ] Izuku for Shoto

nonverbal  meme  prompts

[  ill  ]  sender  takes  care  of  receiver  when  they  are  unwell

“ I needed to move around a little, ” he explained, when asked why he hadn’t stayed in his room. Only wearing a t-shirt and shorts, Shoto had wandered around the dorms. The kitchen was his stop, taking a seat when seeing Midoriya was there. “ It’s not that serious, ” he mumbled, before starting to cough once more. He must be looking miserable, with his hair messed up, the dark circles underneath his eyes, and pale color. Shoto hated being sick, even though this would make it the first time he’d spend his time resting.

Midoriya was worrying for what was a minor cold. Or the flu. He couldn’t really tell them apart, and he didn’t think there was a point to it. He could have continued training and classes like he always did whenever he wasn’t feeling his normal self. Shoto was trained after all to function even under these circumstances. He didn’t think his father was wrong on that part. It didn’t make sense, for a hero to stand back because of an illness. Villains wouldn’t wait for his fever to ease down.  

“ I hate this, ” he grumbled. The last few days had drained him, not only physically but psychologically too. He had run out of patience. Waking up every few hours, having nightmares, feeling weak even to leave his futon. His body switching from hot to cold every few minutes. His body failing him for the first time in a long time, with Shoto not understanding the reason. Recovery Girl had advised him not to try and regulate his temperature, for his body to fight this naturally, and now he’d find himself once again trembling when a minute ago he had been feeling hot, and couldn’t do anything about it.