ardentlove - Tumblr blog

[ardentlove]

what if i brought arden back from hiatus

as if i don't have enough active muses as it is

[ardentlove]

still planning to be inactive on this blog for a little bit longer, but... she got new icons.

template by fleursource.

[ardentlove]

And may your bones sing,                   no longer with pain, but with roses.

[ardentlove]

hey, apologies for not being very active on arden. there’s a multitude of reasons, some that i’m gonna put under the cut but i appreciate the patience and i will be back on her at some point because i really do wish to explore her character. however, due to the below, i will have to place her on an indefinite hiatus.

cw: mentions of mild transphobia + homophobia and unhealthy / abusive childhood.

Keep reading

[ardentlove]

hey, apologies for not being very active on arden. there’s a multitude of reasons, some that i’m gonna put under the cut but i appreciate the patience and i will be back on her at some point because i really do wish to explore her character. however, due to the below, i will have to place her on an indefinite hiatus.

cw: mentions of mild transphobia + homophobia and unhealthy / abusive childhood.

in regards to arden, it’s hard to write a character that’s essentially about finding your own identity and undoing the repression of identity (and sexuality) from an unhealthy / abusive upbringing when you’re living back with family that you don’t have the healthiest relationship with and have had to put yourself back in the closet (they’re not like overtly homophobic/transphobic, but they do spout a lot of stuff and are mostly unaware of my own identity. while i don’t believe i’d be unsafe if they knew fully, i don’t want to risk my living situation).

while yes, arden’s repression is also tied heavily to her religious upbringing and previous religious beliefs — something i don’t have to deal with myself as my family is agnostic and i haven’t been religious myself since my teenage years — some of the character story / development still hits a little too close to home and i’m finding it difficult to write her without affecting my own mental state.

on top of this, i’m still recovering from being super ill and my brain will only let me maintain a proper focus on one character, though i do still think of headcanons for arden here and there and have muse for her.

i am hoping to pick her back up sooner than later once i’ve adjusted to living here a bit better and i appreciate the patience and understanding in the mean time.

[ardentlove]

#SERPENTIFCRM ━━ I PRAY YOU DO NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH ME,                                                     FOR I AM FALSER THAN VOWS MADE IN WINE.

ind, priv & sel ffxiv original character ━━ KHORIDAE VYLLEA. charmed by fiery. ©

[ardentlove]

i wish my sessionbox would stop breaking.

pls. i promise you, i don’t need a commercial license. let me live.

[ardentlove]

OATHKEEPER

[ardentlove]

was i right, was i wrong, will i be forgiven, can i do better?

[ardentlove]

“Holy, a lover holding the body of a lover,”

— Nikita Gill, from “Great Goddesses: Life Lessons from Myths & Monsters,”

[ardentlove]

the inherent romanticism of wax seals

[ardentlove]

by Artem Saranin

[ardentlove]

so... i might be transferring universities again lmao.

[ardentlove]

expect little activity for a bit. same goes for my activity on @serpentifcrm

i am dealing with both my period and the hell that comes with that and the pain from a wisdom tooth and i’m very limited on what painkillers i’m allowed so i’m just,,, really not having a great time.

i’m also just dealing with the whole “it’s always one thing after another” and the “why can’t my body just keep its shit together for more than a couple weeks at a time” that comes from being chronically ill, and while this isn’t chronic illness stuff (kinda, my pcos makes my periods much worse so???), it’s just another thing on top of everything else from the last couple months and my chronic illness affects how i can manage the tooth pain so idk, i’m just... tired and in pain and hhhh.

i also have a fear of dentists + no money to afford a private dentist. i hopefully have enough money to afford the visit to the government dental clinic but i don’t believe they offer the kind of sedation i need to manage a dental appointment so :)

[ardentlove]

If I were not a physicist, I would probably be a musician. I often think in music. I live my daydreams in music. I see my life in terms of music.

Albert Einstein

[ardentlove]

the statues of apollo and athena, at the academy athens, in a full moon night.

[ardentlove]

Vide Cor Meum