arielhopepeace

[arielhopepeace]

Harry catching a Haribo in his mouth London, UK - 4/12

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Classical art imitations in modern media

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he blessed us for but a moment

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“When do I feel my most beautiful? I would say internally, when I’ve finished meditating or something. Or maybe when I’m asleep.”

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Some writers: *meticulously plan out every plot point and the tone and meanings before they start writing*

Me:

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Need a tall man to hold my face and squeeze my cheeks with one hand and make me look up at him. That’s all.

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just Pedro being a cutie at the 29th Critic Choice Awards

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Noah Schnapp trying to apologise by saying his words have been misconstrued. You were gleefully videoing your friends as they were proudly showing off stickers that read “Zionism is sexy” you posted misinformation and uplifted hateful voices of your peers. You were silent for far too long and conveniently come back when your show is being publicly boycotted on social media because of you and likeminded cast members. Nothing was misconstrued you just regret that there are consequences.

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PEDRO PASCAL interviewed by The Enemy for The Last Of Us

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PEDRO PASCAL at the 29th Annual Critics Choice Awards

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feeling nostalgic

[arielhopepeace]

Sorry this part took a bit! Been getting ready to move and now I’m sick lol 😭 but enjoy and check part 1 for more extensive TWs, please ❤️

TW: smut, dirty talk, talk of sexual trauma

18+ only

5,400 words

Part two

My leg bounces about anxiously beneath my desk, constantly checking and re-checking the clock in the bottom right hand corner of my computer screen. It's nearly five, and I'm more than ready to go home and enjoy my weekend. But as every day passes, I become more apprehensive about my date with Joel tomorrow.

Of course he was wonderful, kind, a damn good kisser, and hot beyond belief, but I'm still terrified. Without any sedative-like influence from the alcohol, I'm back to the withered shell of a woman I was when Joel walked into my office.

I can't believe I was fully prepared to sleep with him the other night. I had convinced myself that I was safe enough to do something like that with him, and I'm glad I didn't. What if I kiss Joel again and I panic? Or what if we're ever intimate and I panic? What will he do? Laugh in my face and continue anyway?

No, not Joel. He's too sweet for that, right?

Obviously my libido is calling the shots rather than my rational anxiety. It's been eight years since I've slept with anyone, and I'm jumping into this way too quickly for my liking. Am I crazy? Next time I'm with him, I'm not drinking any alcohol. I need to be myself and not a sedated, sex obsessed freak.

My eyes flutter closed, my lashes dancing against my cheeks as I recall Joel's hands on my body, and his soft, skilled lips against mine. Of course he was eager, he's a man. Is that why he fixed my washer? To get laid?

Part of me is tempted to go off on him for being such a disgusting pervert, but he hasn't done anything to me. My mind is fabricating all of these scenarios and reasons for his kindness when even I know it's probably out of character for Joel.

He's a single dad who lost his wife nine years ago, and who's devoted to his daughter who he's crazy about. Joel seems to be an incredible father. There's no way a man like that would ever try to hurt me, is there?

"Y/n?" I hear from my open office door.

"Yes?" My eyes snap up to see Cynthia, my secretary.

She smiles wide at me. "Are you done for the day?"

I gaze down to see that it's ten after five, meaning I've been sitting here spiraling over Joel for almost twenty minutes.

"Yes," I sigh with a smile. "More than done. I'm ready for the weekend."

Cynthia walks beside me as we leave the building, our cars being parked next to each other's outside.

"You have any exciting plans?" she asks with a large grin.

I decide to not tell her about Joel. "Nah, just me and my wine. You?"

"Ex-husband has the kids this weekend, so I'm probably going to be doing the same as you," she giggles. "Get home safely, y/n, okay?"

"Thanks, Cynthia. You too."

  When I get home, I see a lovely bouquet of flowers sitting on my doorstep along with a note. I beam as I unlock my front door, placing the flowers on the kitchen counter and fishing the little card out of the leaves.

Y/n

I'm excited for tomorrow night. I hope you enjoy these flowers as much as I enjoy your company.

Joel

My face aches as I hold the card to my chest, feeling like I'm in a movie or something. I read the note several times, my mouth curling up wider and wider every time. Who knew my cheeks could stretch this far?

I carry the flowers into my bedroom, setting them on the nightstand beside my bed with the card leaning against the pretty blue vase.

I immediately press on Joel's contact, hoping that he's done working for the day. With every ring of the line, my apprehension climbs, until I hear that low, inviting burr of Joel's voice.

"Hey, you," he says sweetly. "I'm assuming you got my gift."

My cheeks burn as I beam at the floor. "I did. Thank you. You didn't have to get me anything, you know."

Joel chuckles lightly. "I wanted to."

The line goes quiet for a moment before Joel speaks again.

"Can I be honest with you?" he asks.

My heart jumps into my throat. "Of course."

"I haven't stopped thinking about you, y/n."

"Same here, honestly," I laugh sheepishly. "I feel like I'm going crazy."

He laughs, the sound warming my chest. "You know, I haven't been on many dates since my wife passed. Maybe only two."

My brows raise in surprise. "Really? How come?"

"Never felt right."

I chew on my bottom lip nervously. "But it does with me?"

"Mhmm," he hums, "very right."

"I guess I should be honest with you too and tell you I haven't been with anyone in eight years."

"What?!" Joel chokes out. "Why? How?"

I swallow hard, shaking my head. "I'd rather talk about it in person. It's—awkward."

"You don't have to tell me if it makes you uncomfortable, y/n. You never have to do anything you're not comfortable with."

My eyes feel misty at his comforting words, but my mind is screaming at me to keep my walls up. "Thanks, Joel."

"Of course, y/n. As I said, you shouldn't be thanking me for the bare minimum. I'm sorry for whatever guy made you think that's all that you deserve."

Deciding to change the subject before I panic, I quickly swallow my fear that's clawing its way up my throat. "Uh—what time should I meet you tomorrow? And where are we going?"

"I could pick you up, if you want. I'd like it to be a surprise." He audibly smiles in his words.

I can't help but giggle. "Okay, that's fine. Could at least tell me the attire?"

"Hmm, I don't know. Casual-slash-nice? I'll be wearing a button-down and some jeans. Nothing too fancy."

I nod my head, planning my outfit already. "That sounds good to me. What time will you be here?"

"Six-thirty okay with you?"

"That sounds perfect."

"I'll see you tomorrow then, y/n. I have to attempt to make a good dinner for Sarah and I. I told you I was a shit cook, but I do practice so that she's not eating crap food all the time."

I laugh, flopping onto my back on my bed. "You're a good dad, Joel."

"I do my best."

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye, y/n."

We hang up, and I toss my phone to the side, staring at my ceiling.

Am I making the right choice by going out with him? I won't have any way of getting home if things go poorly, or if he switches and is no longer the man I'm assuming he is. What if he's exactly like...him? I hate saying his name, or even thinking it. Joel can't be evil like him, can he?

***

  I'm straightening out my powder blue sundress when there's a knock on my front door. My hands are shaky and I feel like my knees are going to buckle at any moment. Taking a steadying breath, I pull open the front door, revealing a stunning, handsome Joel before me.

He's donned in a black button-up as he said, and dark blue jeans with black dress shoes on his feet. His hair is lightly tamed with some gel, adding a bit of shine to the  deep brown strands.

I feel winded at his appearance, and I'm suddenly hoping he feels the same about me. I've done my makeup to the best of my ability, and even went the extra mile to straighten my hair. Even with my heels on, Joel is still taller than me, and I don't know why I enjoy that so much.

"Wow," he breathes out, still standing on my doorstep. "I can't believe you're my date tonight."

My heart soars as I blush, looking down to my floor to try to focus my gaze elsewhere. "Thank you. You look amazing, Joel."

He scoffs. "Next to you, I look like a bum."

I giggle, meeting his soft brown eyes and the straightness of his teeth. "Are you ready?"

Joel nods, reaching his hand out for mine. "If you are."

Tossing all of my anxiety and negative thoughts aside, I grab his hand, locking my front door behind me as he leads me to his truck. He opens the door for me and helps me in, his hand letting go once I'm settled in to the passenger seat.

My eyes follow him as he walks around the front, getting in beside me behind the steering wheel. We gaze at each other for a moment, my focus falling to his delicate lips that I've missed the feeling of, no matter how hard I've tried to deny that fact. I want to want him without feeling afraid, but I can't help it.

"Kiss me," I say gently.

Joel immediately leans forward with his hand on the back of my neck, pulling me into him firmly. His lips are so soft, and his tongue is back again in its eager, talented way. I can't help but moan, his tongue the match that struck across my body to wrap it in delicious flames.

He pulls away, both of us a bit winded from the kiss. "How the hell do you kiss like that if you haven't been with anyone in eight years?"

I giggle slightly as I shrug. "You're a good guide."

Joel chuckles and leans fully away, holding his hand out for me as he keeps the other on the steering wheel, pulling away from my house. I gently slide my fingers into his, feeling euphoric and safe in his truck with him.

Not seeing him for a few days has only made my attraction grow tremendously. How does he melt all of my fears away just by being around me? Nobody has ever done that for me before, or maybe I just never let anybody try. Why am I letting him in?

  We park in front of a swanky restaurant, one that I've always passed, but never eaten at. It's New Orleans style food served in a comfortable, yet classy environment. I've always wanted to try it, but it seemed odd to come here alone, even though that's what I prefer.

Joel holds my hand as we walk in, the host guiding us to a table once he tells her the name for our party. The air smells heavenly. It's like Cajun food and Texan food had a baby and this restaurant is the outcome. God bless whoever came up with this place.

The server orders our drinks, and I opt out of getting wine. Joel orders an appetizer for us, my eyes scanning the menu as he does.

"No wine?" he sneers playfully at me. "Thought you were a wine lover."

"I am," I laugh, "but I'd like to be more connected this time."

Joel nods. "That's why I didn't order any beer. I still have to drive you back home, too."

Against everything my brain is telling me, I reach beside me at the table and rub Joel's thigh gingerly. I keep my eyes on the menu, my hand shaking as I bring it to a stop against his pants.

Joel reaches down and grabs my hand, bringing it up to his lips and placing a gentle kiss against it. My gaze moves from the menu to his, seeing the slight concern etched into his face.

"Y/n," he says gently, "you're shaking again."

"I'm sorry," I say quickly. "I guess I'm nervous."

"About what?"

I shake my head. I can't tell him about my traumatic past on our first date, can I? He'll think I'm crazy and divulging way too much information for someone I barely know. It's not like me to open up, but I feel compelled to with him. I want him to know that it's not his fault that I'm so fucking terrified all the time.

"I don't know," I say softly. "I'm sorry."

Joel's brows knit together with worry. "Do you want me to take you home?"

God. That simple question has my anxiety skyrocketing down; that reassurance that if I need to leave at any given moment apparently being all I needed to calm down.

I give him a warm smile, leaning across the corner of the table to place a gentle kiss against his stubbly cheek. "No. I want to be here with you."

He beams at me, kissing my knuckles again. "You're not shaking anymore."

"I know," I beam, turning back to the menu. "Everything sounds so damn good. What are you thinking about getting?"

"Honestly the gumbo sounds amazing, and I've never had any."

"Ooo," I coo, nodding. "That does sound good."

  After our food is brought out, Joel takes a generous bite of his dish as I dig into mine. The flavor of everything bursts in my mouth, and I let out a moan of contentment. It's incredible, and I can't believe I've never eaten here before.

Joel holds out his spoon for me with his steaming food piled onto it. "You've gotta try this."

I lean forward and take the spoon between my lips, groaning with a nod as I enjoy the taste of his meal.

"God, that's amazing." I pierce my own food with my fork, holding it out for Joel. "Now try mine."

Watching his lips slide across my fork does something sinful to me, and I'm not entirely sure why.

"This might be the best food I've ever had," he beams.

"I can't believe you haven't eaten here before. This is my favorite restaurant."

"It felt weird to come here alone," I laugh, placing my fork down to sip my water.

Joel eyes me with a glimmer in his eye. "Well, now you don't have to."

My cheeks warm as I break the eye contact, unable to hold it any longer. Although his eyes are kind and gentle, there's something so intimidating about them. Maybe it's because I'm so attracted to him, but god I can't look into them for too long.

  We finish our meals and I go to pay, but Joel quickly grabs my card from me, slamming his down into the checkbook instead.

"Absolutely not," he shakes his head as we both laugh. "You can be a control freak all you want on your own time, but I'm paying for dinner tonight."

I giggle loudly, crossing my arms as I do my best to act offended. "Only I can call me a control freak."

He holds up his hands in defense. "I was only quoting you"

I playfully shove him, watching as the server walks away with the bill. "I want to pay for the next date."

Joel leans on the table on his elbows, handing me my card back. "Oh, there's going to be a next date?"

My eyes land on his, admiring the deep chocolate river that flows in them. "Yes."

"Maybe I like that you're a control freak," he beams, his eyes floating down to my lips. "It's charming."

"Charming?" I guffaw. "You don't think I'm crazy?"

"Of course not," he laughs. "Everyone has their quirks, and I want to learn all of yours."

My gaze softens. "Really?"

Joel nods. "Really."

  Back at my house, Joel walks me to the front door, giving me a long, lingering kiss before I unlock it.

"Would you like to come in?" I ask somewhat timidly.

He nods with a smile, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "We could watch a movie again, if you wanted."

I beam. "I'd like that a lot."

We enter my house, and I immediately kick off my heels, picking them up by the backs and carrying them into my bedroom. I put them away where they belong, checking my reflection in the mirror to make sure I'm tidy and presentable enough for Joel.

He stands near the couch, my eyes flicking down to his shoes. "You can take those off if you want."

Joel chuckles. "Do you not like shoes on in the house?"

I smirk, walking up beside him. "No, not really."

He laughs, bending down and slipping his shoes off to leave them by the front door near the little entrance carpet.

We sit on the couch, my thumb clicking on the remote to go to any streaming service.

"Do you have to be back to Sarah any time soon?" I ask, suddenly worrying that I'm taking up too much of his time.

"No," he smiles. "I told Mrs. Cheshire that it might be a late night. She knows I'm on a date."

Hearing him say that makes me beam vastly, gazing into his soft eyes. "Yeah, you are."

Joel chuckles, leaning in and placing a soft kiss to my cheek. "What do you want to watch?"

"Anything. How about I stop being a control freak and let you pick?"

He laughs, nodding as he takes the remote from me. "Any particular genre you like to avoid?"

"I'm good with anything, really." My eyes admire his beautiful profile. "You pick."

Joel ends up landing on a rom-com, making my lips tweak up as I giggle. He laughs with me, throwing his arm around my shoulders as I lean into his chest. He smells incredible; the scent warm and musky yet clean. I inhale him deeply, needing more of him.

My head turns up to face his, admiring the stubble along his jaw. Joel flicks his gaze down to look at me, giving me a gentle smile.

"What?" he asks quietly as the movie plays in the background.

"You're a handsome man, Joel."

He chuckles, shaking his head. "It blows my mind that you think that."

"You're delusional."

"No, you're just that beautiful."

My lips attach to his in an instant, a hungry, needy feeling washing over me. I'm consumed by my own greed to have him near, desperate to have him closer. I slip my tongue against his, savoring the taste of Cajun food and Joel.

His hands rest on my hips, gripping them tightly as he begins to push me back onto the couch. My head hits the cushion gently as our lips never part, the weight of him feeling—suffocating and overwhelming. The horrible thoughts begin to flood my mind, and I do my best to push them away. But Joel is on me, devouring my mouth and keeping his grip on my hips. I can't do it. It's too much.

"Joel," I breathe, my chest beginning to heave.

"Yes, y/n?" he rasps, his lips on my neck.

"No!" I shout, pushing at his shoulders roughly.

He immediately flies back, fear and confusion staining his wonderful, beautiful face. "Y/n, hey, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

Before even realizing it, I'm crying and shaking, curling into myself on my cushion that I was just pressed against moments ago. I close my eyes, hoping that it'll vanish. Whether it's the thoughts or Joel, I don't care. I just need them to go away.

"Remember the breathing?" he says quietly, sounding so far away it's like I'm floating in space. "Breathe with me, y/n."

My hands are over my ears, and my eyes are squeezed shut. I slowly open them to look at Joel, watching his chest inflate and deflate slowly. I follow his rhythm, moving my hands slowly away from my head to hear his deep breaths. He encourages me, smiling gently with those soft eyes of his melting me.

His hand slowly reaches out to grab mine and I let him, watching as he places it against his heart. It's racing against my palm, but his breathing is easy and calm.

"Joel," I begin, but he shushes me gently.

"Just keep breathing for a minute. Follow mine."

We sit there gazing at each other, easily breathing in and out for a few minutes until both of our hearts are no longer pounding hard against our chests.

"I need to tell you something," I say, hanging my head.

Joel brings my hand to his lips, kissing my knuckles. "I'm sorry, y/n."

My brows pitch up. "What for?"

"I came on too strong and I scared you. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to."

"No," I shake my head. "Joel, it's not your fault."

His vast, saddened eyes search mine, wrenching my heart. "I never want to scare you, y/n."

"Please, it's not your fault, I promise."

He nods, kissing my knuckles again.

"I haven't been with anyone in eight years because I was—" Words fail me, and I seem incapable of explaining what happened to me in this moment.

"You were what?" Joel asks gently.

"T-taken advantage of by my ex-boyfriend and his friend when I was seventeen."

Joel's face twists with disgust, and the tenderness has left his eyes. "My god, I'm so sorry, y/n."

"No," I shake my head, "please don't pity me. I don't want your pity."

He gingerly reaches out and cups my face, my cheek pushing more into his touch. "It's not pity, y/n. It's compassion."

A tear falls from my eye, and Joel swipes it with his thumb. "I panicked when you first took me to the supply store for the washer hose because I was scared I wouldn't come back home. With—him—I had no way of leaving. I was trapped."

Joel frowns. "Honey, you didn't have to go with me."

I smile faintly at the pet name. "But I wanted to. I wanted to spend time with you."

"Y/n, listen to me," he cups my face in both hands, "we don't ever have to do anything you're uncomfortable with. I don't care what it is, it won't happen if you're uncomfortable. Do you hear me?"

I nod. "I still want you, Joel. I want you so badly."

"We don't have to rush into anything. I haven't even slept with anyone in years. I'll wait for you, y/n. I want to wait until you're ready."

My eyes soften as I hang my head. "God, you're amazing, you know that?"

"I'm not amazing, y/n. I'm just being a decent human. You're still fragile, and I don't want to—"

I scowl. "I'm not fragile."

Joel frowns slightly. "I didn't mean to offend you, I just don't want you doing something if it's too soon."

"Joel, I've spent the last eight years being terrified of men. You're the first man I've let kiss me in eight years. I'm not a porcelain doll. I'm a woman that's healing, and you're helping me put on the band-aids."

He smiles gently. "I'm the luckiest damn man in the world."

I scoff, sniffling a bit. "You think you're lucky because you have a trauma victim that likes you?"

"You're not that to me at all," he shakes his head. "To me, you're a strong woman who's beginning to trust. And only god knows why I'm the one who made you want to start. I'm just happy to be here with you."

My body leans forward, wrapping my arms around his neck as I push our chests together. Our lips and tongues connect effortlessly, like it's second nature for us at this point. I fling my leg over his, straddling him and pinning his thighs to the cushion.

"Y/n," Joel pulls away, his eyes searching mine, "please, if you're not ready—"

"Shut up, Joel," I tell him, reattaching our lips.

My fingers are in his hair, his hands on my hips as I gently rock them back and forth against him. I can feel how hard he is beneath me, and it only spurs me on further.

I've never ridden anyone before, but it doesn't take an expert to figure out how to do it. My hands fumble with the buttons of his shirt, our lips never leaving each other's as I work at his shirt.

"Touch me," I breathe against his lips, continuing our kiss.

Joel's hands stay at my hips, rubbing them tenderly.

His shirt lays open, and I part our kiss to give him a look of disapproval. "Joel, I didn't tell you the truth so that you'd be scared of me." I bring his hands up from my hips to my breasts. "I said touch me."

He leans up to reconnect the kiss, his palms against me, kneading my chest through my dress. His hands move down beneath it, sliding up my bare thighs until he's gripping my ass tightly.

"You tell me if you want me to stop anything," he says gruffly, his eyes alight with hunger.

I nod, desperate to return to his lips.

His hands move up the sides of my dress, and I part our mouths for a moment just so he can lift it off over my head. My fingers are on his jeans, shaking from desperation as I do my best to unfasten the button. Joel helps me, making quick work of his jeans until he's sat beneath me in only his boxers.

I lick my lips in anticipation, staring down at the thick, weighty erection that rests beneath me.

"I don't have any condoms, y/n," Joel says with a ragged breath.

"I don't care. I'm on the pill."

Joel's fingers play with the band of my panties, and I can tell he's still hesitant to touch me. My lips trail along his jaw and neck as I guide his hand into the fabric that he's toying with. A small groan leaves his lips once his fingers come in contact with my slit, making me clench down onto nothing.

"Oh, my god," he groans slightly, his head falling back against the back of the couch. "You're so fucking wet."

I hum against him, sliding my tongue from his collar bone up to his earlobe. "Just for you, Joel."

He eases a finger gently inside of me, stopping my body in its tracks as a shudder of pleasure runs through me. Joel moves it out slowly, pushing it back in with ease. My hands are on his shoulders, gripping the fabric of his shirt tightly as I let out a quiet moan against his neck.

"Gotta prep you, honey. I won't fit if I don't get you ready for me."

My breath hitches in my throat as he works a second finger into me, my lips tucking between my teeth. "Fuck," I breathe out shakily.

"God, you're so tight," he groans. "Don't wanna hurt you."

"You won't," I whisper. "Please, I need you."

My hands hook into the sides of his boxers, pulling them down so that they're resting on his thighs with his jeans. Joel's fingers move up to my clit, making me gasp at the sudden contact.

"Cum first and then I'm yours."

"Joel," I groan, my head leaning back. "Please."

He rubs me easily, swirling my little bundle of nerves in quick, neat circles that have my thighs already quivering with anticipation.

"It's okay, y/n," he coos. "You don't have to beg. You'll have me."

My body is on fire, and my chest is heaving dramatically. I'm already so close to the edge; so close to a feeling I haven't experienced in years, not even when I'm alone. I never wanted to. I've never been so hungry for an orgasm than I am right now with Joel beneath me and his fingers against me.

That blinding rush of euphoria courses through my body and I scream out, my entrance fluttering as my release takes over me. Joel groans quietly, his fingers guiding me through it until I'm shivering from the overstimulation.

He gently pulls my face down to his, kissing me deeply and passionately. I take his thick cock into my hands, groaning at the sheer size and weight of him. My other hand moves down to pull my panties to the side, rubbing Joel's tip through my soaking apex.

"Fuck," he curses, briefly breaking the kiss. "Tell me again that you want me."

I nod, biting my lip. "I want you so bad, Joel."

"I'm yours, y/n. Take me."

I pull away, leaning up onto my knees as I position myself above him. With one hand on him at the base, I gently start to ease myself down. My jaw unhinges, my eyes open wide from the overwhelming feeling of the stretch of him. I feel full, and he's not even halfway in yet.

Joel grips my hips tightly, his eyes on where we're connecting. "Take your time. I don't want it to hurt."

"It doesn't," I breathe out sharply. "Just—a lot."

He chuckles cheekily, the sound seemingly vibrating through my body to send another rush of arousal to where he's stretching me out. I move my hand, allowing myself to settle at the bottom as we both let out a coo of approval.

"Go slow," Joel says gently.

I breathe, adjusting to him still, feeling stretched beyond belief. "Don't tell me what to do."

Joel laughs, his fingers quickly undoing the clasps of my bra. He attaches his mouth to my left nipple, making me shriek and tense up around him. He groans against me, his eyes briefly squeezing shut.

I slowly start to move up and down, groaning out towards the ceiling from the intense pleasure. Joel drops his fingers to my slick bud again, immediately making me clench down on him.

He groans, moving to my other nipple. "You're so beautiful," he praises. "Riding me so good, y/n."

His compliments spur me on, and I move my hips faster, becoming more and more acclimated to the stretch of him. My moans are constant. Every time he's buried in me to the hilt, I can't help but cry out into the emptiness of my home.

"Joel," I moan, my eyes squeezed shut. "Please, I'm so close."

His free hand comes up and grips me behind my neck, pulling my lips down to press against his briefly. "I know, honey. Can feel you squeezing me. Cum on me, y/n."

His words are my undoing, and I'm crumbling. My walls are flexing against him and my teeth are sinking into the skin of his neck, needing something to keep me grounded to earth.

Joel groans loudly, only making my orgasm more intense. "Yes, y/n," he moans. "Tell me how I feel."

"G-good," I shudder, kissing the teeth marks on his neck. "Please, Joel."

"What, honey? Tell me what you want."

"Fuck me."

His hands immediately go to my hips, his legs adjusting a bit before he starts to thrust up into me, the quick pace making me scream and bury my face back into his neck.

"Oh, my god!" I cry, my eyes squeezing shut. "Fuck, Joel, please."

"I can't hold it anymore, y/n. Tell me where you want it," he says gruffly. "Tell me."

"Inside of me!"

Joel's fingers dig into my skin so tightly I'm sure they'll leave bruises. He cries out, his head tilting back as I feel him throbbing inside of me. Every spurt of cum and jerk of his hips makes me groan, and I finally open my eyes once I feel his release stop pouring into me.

His hands move to my bare back, caressing me gently from the bottom of my spine to the top. He rubs me silently for a few moments, both of us just panting and breathing together.

"Please tell me how you are," Joel finally says. "I need to know."

"I'm perfect," I breathe, moving my head out of the crook of his neck. "More than perfect."

He beams at me, leaning up to pull me in to a wonderful, tender kiss that has my heart soaring.

"You're incredible," he says as our foreheads press together. "I can't believe you like me."

I giggle, shaking my head. "Would you stop it? You're perfect, Joel. I mean it."

He chuckles, kissing me again. "What do you want me to do?"

I cock my head. "About what?"

"Do you want me to stay the night? Or would you rather me go home?"

"Stay," I smile. "Please."

He beams at me. "I was hoping you'd say that."

****

[arielhopepeace]

Welcome, my loves, to another Joel Miller fanfic! Please be sure to read the trigger warnings before reading this story since this one focuses on the traumatic past of y/n ❤️ it shows how she’s able to push past the trauma to find love in a man again. This is something I have personal experience with, and I know how hard it can be. So, I’m hoping that it may be a comfort to anybody who needs it. It certainly was comforting to write 💕

She is a successful 25 year old lawyer, and Joel is a successful 35 year old dad who owns his own carpentry business and seeks out y/n for help! This was a story suggestion from a good friend of mine, and I hope you all enjoy it.

Part two is here

18+ only

Tw: smut, talk of sexual assault, trauma flashbacks, anxiety, panic attacks, age gap, talk of death of loved ones, talk of drug abuse

Word count: 7,500

   "Ms. Y/l/n, your three o' clock is here," my receptionist says gently over the intercom.

I let out a preemptive sigh, squaring my shoulders as I adjust myself in my chair. It's not common for me to take on male clients, being that I'm not particularly fond of them.

The only man in my life is my dad. Even though he lives about an hour away, we still talk every day with the occasional FaceTime chat so that we can see each other when our schedules are too busy for in-person meetings. He's my rock. He got me through the most difficult times in my life, and worked two jobs just to put me through college.

Thanks to him, I'm now an accomplished lawyer at twenty-five years old. I owe my life to my dad, and I know that no other man could ever live up to everything he's done for me. It doesn't matter if they tried. I'd never trust them, anyway.

"Send him in," my voice barks.

It's not Cynthia's fault that I'm on edge about a man coming into my office. It's only that he's the first man I'll have been alone with since...him; the name that I never allow to pass my lips, the name that any time I hear it out in public it makes me cringe and spark that bit of fear in my chest. He is the reason for my total disrespect and mistrust for men, because he showed me how truly evil they can be.

There's a knock on my office door, and I let out a short, clipped entry to the client. He steps in and closes the door behind himself, the lock clicking only promoting my apprehension for accepting his case. I wish my boss wouldn't have talked me into it; wish he wouldn't have made a fuss about me not accepting a male client and how it's not ethical. I can accept whatever client I damn well please, and I don't want a man telling me otherwise. But I have to keep my job. It's always been my dream to be a lawyer. It was my father's dream, too, but he could never afford the schooling. That's why he worked so hard to make sure I got in. He wanted it for me as badly as he wanted it for himself.

"Hi, I'm Joel Miller," the man's voice interrupts me from mindlessly shuffling through papers on my desk.

When I turn my gaze up to his I feel myself gulp, flicking my eyes briefly over to the shut door before having them settle back onto his. They're soft and brown, inviting, and seeming wholly innocent. His skin is tanned and smooth, only having slight wrinkles at the creases of his eyes. He has dark hair that's a bit longer, resulting in small, half-curls scattered sporadically on his head.

His hand is extended to mine, and I stand, reluctantly taking it to maintain professionalism. I never should've accepted a male client. My heart rate must be through the roof at this point, my palms a sweaty mess that he probably took notice of. God, get it together, y/n. It's your job.

"How can I help you today, Mr. Miller?" My voice projects smoothly, not having a hint of anxiety in it.

How did I manage to pull that off?

He shifts a bit in his seat before his eyes meet mine, still having that magnetic, gentle demeanor to them. "Well, I just wanted to say thank you for seeing me on such short notice."

I smile with a nod, even though I didn't really have a choice. My boss was so heavily insisting that I chose a male client, that he basically threw this guy into my lap.

"Of course, Mr. Miller."

"I own Miller Carpentry over on Hugh street," he gestures a tanned finger in the general direction, "and recently I hired a few new people to go do some jobs independently without me being a shadow. Well, that was a mistake. One of them took the money from a few jobs and never gave me, the company, a percentage of it."

My pen glides across the paper as I take notes of his claim, trying not to focus on the fact that we're alone in the room. I make bullet points of everything I'd like to incorporate if this gets brought to court, adding potential selling points beneath each sentence.

"And I'm assuming you tried to reach out and you had no luck?"

Joel shrugs. "It's like he's a ghost. Can't find him anywhere."

"How much did he make off with? Do you know?"

He exhales sharply. "At least five grand."

My eyes flick to the closed door again, letting out a gentle sigh as I try to relax. "I'll contact a friend at the police station and see if he can't find your worker. If he doesn't pay, he'll go to jail and end up having to pay you back one way or another."

"I contacted police, and they said to find a lawyer in the meantime because he most likely won't just give it up."

I scoff as I roll my eyes. "People are untrustworthy."

Joel beams at me once I stop scribbling, my tense body shifting again. "In the ten years I've had my business, this is the first time this has happened, so I'd like to say that's not true."

"Ah, so you're a carpenter and an optimist. Sounds exhausting."

He laughs heartily, the sound slightly relaxing me. "I think it's only normal for lawyers to be pessimists. You deal with criminals for a living."

"I like to avoid taking on cases that make me uncomfortable, Mr. Miller. So, no. I don't normally deal with criminals."

His fingers scratch at his slight facial hair as he continues smiling. The hairs are gray mixed with mostly black, like a medley of salt and pepper.

"I don't blame you. I couldn't do it. It's mentally demanding, I'm sure."

My mouth twists up slightly. "It entertains my therapist."

Joel chuckles, my shoulders relaxing a bit more. "I wanted to discuss cost with you. How much will you cost if we go to court and we win?"

"When you win, it'll be about two and a half grand."

He breathes out heavily. "Okay, I can swing that. I'll be able to use the half of what I'm owed from him, then."

"There's cheaper lawyers out there, Mr. Miller. If finances are an issue, I can refer you to someone else."

He shakes his head vehemently. "A friend suggested you to me, and she said you were great. So, I thought it would be best to go to someone that has a good reputation."

I beam. "I'm glad to hear good things about me."

Joel grins back, flashing a neat, white smile. I'm ashamed to admit that I find him incredibly attractive. It's been years since I've looked at a man in any way other than a predator, but Joel seems—kind. I'm immediately putting an end to those thoughts, shaking my head in disgust for betraying the promise I made to myself when I was seventeen. I'll never let a man in again, and I intend on keeping that promise.

Clearing my throat, I pick up my pen again. "May I have your home and email addresses, please?"

He recites them to me and I scribble them down, nodding my thanks.

"I'll keep in touch via email with any updates on what I hear back. Could I also get the man's first and last name?"

"Kevin Bridges," Joel says bitterly. "Bastard."

I chuckle, a sudden buzzing interrupting the meeting. Joel pulls his phone out and gives me an apologetic look before he answers the call.

"Hi, honey, I'm in an important meeting. Are you okay?" Joel hums sweetly.

Must be his wife, right? I glance over to his left hand and notice an empty ring finger. Okay, his girlfriend, then.

"I'll be home soon. Just stay with Mrs. Cheshire until I get there, okay? I don't want you home alone." His eyes briefly flick to mine and I smile. "Okay. I love you too, Sarah. Bye." Joel sighs with raised brows as he beams. "I'm sorry, that was my daughter."

"Oh," I grin, for some reason feeling relieved. "How old is she?"

"Ten. She thinks she's a full-grown adult who can stay home unsupervised. I just have her go by the neighbor's when I don't make it home in time after school. She's an old lady that loves my Sarah to death."

My chest aches when he talks about his daughter, so much enthusiasm and evident love in his words. It reminds me of my dad and I, and it makes me miss him desperately.

"Sarah seems like a lucky girl to have you as her dad," I smile. "It's just me and my dad, too. My mom left the picture when I was very little. Drugs."

Joel's brows knit with what I can only describe as sympathy. I don't want him to pity me. "I'm sorry. Sarah's mom died when she was a baby, so she doesn't really know what it's like to have a mom."

"I'm sorry for your loss." My voice is robotic, as I always have to be to detach myself from my clients. "Poor girl," I say with a hint of my genuine emotion.

"Ah, she's wonderful. Highest grades in her class, and quick as a whip," he laughs fondly. "Definitely gets it from her mom."

I chuckle, clearing my throat as I stand, holding my hand out. "It was nice meeting you, Mr. Miller. I'll be in touch."

He stands, too, taking my palm into his and giving a firm shake. "It was very nice meeting you, Ms. Y/l/n. Thank you again."

I nod, practically sprinting to the door to allow the fresh air into my suffocating office. Joel walks out with a grin, my eyes briefly following him before I disappear behind my desk again. It feels like I can finally breathe now that he's not here. It's not that I felt unsafe or uncomfortable in his presence, but it's exactly that fact that concerns me. Last time I felt comfortable around a man, horrible things happened. I can't let a man force his power over me ever again. I won't let it happen.

My house is empty as it always is when I walk in, the crisp air greeting me in the delicious way it does to alleviate my warmed body from the scorching summer weather. It's July, and I'm convinced the sweltering heat will be the death of me.

I kick off my heels and strip off my stockings from beneath my skirt, laying them on my neatly made bed before walking naked to the shower. The hot water is a welcoming feeling after the stress of the day.

Joel Miller is the first male stranger I've been alone in a room with since I was seventeen, which was eight years ago. He was friendly and handsome, but he also needed something from me. Men are always nice to you when they need something. I can't think about his soft brown eyes and expect them to be just as inviting when he no longer needs my help. 

How am I going to continue meeting him in private until his case is solved? I'm so damned anxious the entire time, and it eats me alive. Yes, he seems kind, but so do all men until it's their time to strike and you instantly become their prey.

Panic consumes me, reliving the horrible, violent memories that I've experienced as I fall to the shower floor, holding myself tightly in my arms. I was so young, and somebody that I loved and trusted took advantage of me. Of course I've somewhat moved passed the sexual abuse, but there's always my days where something triggers my brain, and I'm in a rough state for the remainder of my time awake.

Today is one of those days. Joel's presence set me into a downward spiral of all-consuming panic. I'm tempted to plead to my boss about it, and beg for him to be reassigned elsewhere, but I know he won't have it without an explanation.

Nobody knows what happened to me when I was seventeen besides my dad and a few police officers. My ex-boyfriend who abused me, Justin, got a few months in jail since he was also seventeen. The man who helped him, however, was twenty-four at the time and got sentenced to one year in prison. I wanted the judge to grant a lengthier sentence, but since it was their first offenses, he cut them some slack.

Being a lawyer, I've had several opportunities to defend sexual assault victims, and I have. I've always advocated for lengthier sentences, and almost every time I'm met with a judge who takes my suggestion. I can't help but wonder if Joel's friend who suggested me to him was a woman who I've helped with a sexual assault case.

I'm glad that it's not common knowledge amongst the public about my past. It's not something I want people knowing and pitying me for, or thinking I'd be too emotional to do my job. Never once have I lost my composure in a court room during one of those cases, and I never will.

Before anything else, I'm a professional, and I don't let my emotions get the best of me at work. I'm not the type to express my feelings, either, not even to my dad. He always knows when something's bothering me, but I normally change the subject and brush it off as to just being tired. It's just hard to open up. I hate doing it.

  Later as I lay in bed, slightly wine-drunk and ready for sleep, I'm reminded of the gentle burr of Joel Miller's voice. His hand was heavy and calloused in mine, making me feel as if someone had just given me a massive weight to hold. His tanned skin flashes in my mind, and I can't help but wonder what he smells like. Does he have a specific scent that smells just as manly as he appears?

Without realizing, I'm grinning with my eyes closed, picturing my fingers in his loose, soft-looking hair as I inhale whatever aroma lingers on his neck.

***

  My eyes scan the document in front of me, nodding as I copy a few pieces of information and type it into my email for a client. A slight ding hums through my computer, and I instantly click on my email notification.

To: Y/n  Y/l/n

Subject: Rat Bastard

  Hi, Ms. Y/l/n,

I was just reaching out to let you know that the son of a bitch was finally caught. He agreed to give me back what was owed to me, and wants to avoid court and jail at all costs. I decided to not press charges even though he's still a bastard. Thank you again for all of your help so quickly. I really appreciate it. I know that you don't need to be paid unless you win the case, but I still took up your time. If you ever need some carpentry work done around your house, I'll do whatever you need for free. Please don't hesitate to call or text if you ever need anything. My number is 276-555-0909. Thank you again.

Joel Miller

A little sigh leaves my curled lips, my heart drumming in my chest. I'm relieved yet saddened that Joel won't be joining me in my office anymore. Of course I know that I can contact him at any time, but I don't need any carpentry work done around the house even a little bit.

My washer has been on the fritz, leaking a bit almost every time I do laundry, but I was just going to buy a new one. The one I have isn't old, there's just something wrong with it. Should I ask Joel for help with it?

No, that's ridiculous, right?

How insane am I that I'm letting a strange man into my house just because I want to spend some time around him? No, I'm crazy. I can't do that. What if he hurt me? What if he tried to attack me?

I immediately halt my racing thoughts, closing his email and resuming my other one. Just because I find Joel attractive, doesn't mean that I can just start letting my sky high walls down. He's still a man, and that makes him dangerous.

  At home, I finish my call with my dad. We caught up on our current work lives and anything new that's happened. It's luckily all the same as usual, and we made plans to see each other soon.

My bare feet patter into my laundry room, seeing that there's a puddle on the floor, making me scoff and curse. It feels like the universe is telling me to call Joel and have him come over to help me, but I'm too afraid.

If I invite him over, he'll be the first man ever in this house, and I don't want to forsake my promise. Deciding to throw caution to the wind, I let out a sharp exhale, pulling up the email app to copy Joel's number, pasting it into my phone. My thumb hovers over the "call" option, my heart feeling like it's about to leap out of my chest.

Before I realize what I've done, the line is trilling, and it's too late to hang up now.

"Hello?" he answers curiously.

"Hi, Mr. Miller. It's y/n  y/l/n."

"Oh, hi!" Joel says brightly. "I take it you got my email, then."

"Yes," I say shyly, clearing my throat. "Um, are you busy?"

The line is quiet for a moment, then he speaks. "No, actually. I just settled into the couch with Sarah to watch some show that she likes, but I don't think she cares whether I'm here to watch it or not," he laughs. "What's up? Is everything okay?"

"How much do you know about fixing washing machines?"

Joel chuckles. "I'm a very handy man, Ms. Y/l/n."

"Mine has been leaking for a bit, and I just walked into my laundry room to find a huge puddle. You think you can help?"

"Definitely. I'll grab my tools. Could you send me your address? I'll leave now."

I clear my throat, panic constricting it. "Uh, if you're comfortable with it, you can bring Sarah. I know you said you usually leave her with the neighbor if you can't supervise her."

Joel laughs lightly. "I'm not sure if she'll want to come, but I'll ask her. Thank you for thinking of her. That's sweet of you."

I giggle, the thought of Sarah being here comforting me. "Of course. I'll see you soon."

"Bye."

"Bye." I hang up.

I'm suddenly scrambling to my bathroom, drying my wet feet on the carpet that lays in front of the sink. My fingers run through my hair in an anxious manner,  attempting to tame it a bit. I opt for throwing it up into a messy bun, reapplying my subtle makeup just a bit to my eyes.

Why am I trying to look good for Joel? God knows. I haven't been this way in years, but something about him just draws me in. Everything in my mind is screaming at me to not give in, and to stay alone as I had planned to. It's safer when you're alone. There's no one here to hurt you. It's just you and solitude.

  When I hear my doorbell, my heart picks up its pace, and the panic has settled in to my bones. I'm letting in deep breaths, breathing them out slowly. Joel won't hurt me, right? He's only here to fix my washer. He wouldn't do anything else...right?

I swing open the door and see Joel with a smile fitted onto his face, and a large toolbox in his right hand. He's wearing dark blue jeans that hang from his hips, a white v-neck shirt and large brown work boots on his feet.

My eyes search for his daughter, desperately hoping that she's here. "Hi, thanks for coming by." I gesture him inside.

Joel nods and steps in, standing in the living room. "Your house is beautiful. When did you buy it?"

"Last year," my voice croaks, making me clear it. "But thank you. I like it a lot. It's my favorite home I've ever lived in."

He chuckles, his eyes briefly on the floor before they meet mine again. "Care to show me to your flood?"

I laugh, beginning to walk toward the laundry room. I open the door, revealing the several towels that I've laid out to clean up the mess. Joel steps right onto them, his boots leaving a distinct print in the fabric.

"Did you turn the water off to the house?"

I nod. "Yes, actually. I figured that might be a problem."

Joel settles down onto his knees on the damp tile, opening the washer door. "Just don't want to be sprayed."

My eyes linger back to the closed front door, shifting in the entryway of the laundry room. "So, Sarah didn't want to come, I take it?"

"Nah, she wanted to watch her show. I told you she didn't care if I was there or not."

I giggle, admiring the flex of his biceps as he stretches into the washer. "I'm sorry to pull you away."

"No, don't be," he beams at me. "I'm more than happy to help you."

"Would you like a drink, Mr. Miller?"

He chuckles. "Water would be fine, and please call me Joel."

"Right," I smile, my cheeks feeling hot.

I leave the laundry room, making my way to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water out of the fridge, walking it back to Joel where half of his body is inside of the washing machine. My lingering gaze admires the strength of his thighs in his jeans. He's such a man.

God, what is he doing to me? I never think like this. Not even about handsome celebrities I see on tv.

"Here you go," I finally say, setting the bottle down beside him. "Is there anything else you need from me?"

"No. I think I see your problem, though."

"Oh, yeah?" I ask hopefully. "What is it?"

"There's a bit of a hole in your water connection. I'm not sure how that happened, but you'll need a new pipe."

I sigh, shaking my head. "How much do those cost?"

He leans out of the washer, standing up. "Free, because I'm buying it."

My eyebrows fit together. "Joel, I can't have you purchase the part and install it. It's too much."

"You helped me. Now I want to help you."

"I barely did anything."

He smiles vastly. "But you were willing to do everything."

"It's just my job." My voice is small.

Joel eyes me. "Do you not like people doing things for you?"

I sink in to myself, my cheeks feeling hot. "I don't know. I guess not."

"Hm," he smirks. "Would you like to go to the supply store with me for a new hose?"

"Sure," I say before even thinking.

Joel beams as we exit the room, my hands shaking as I slide on my shoes. I grip my keys, feeling them jingle more than necessary from my trembling as I lock the front door. I turn around to see a large black truck, relaxing a bit at the roominess of the cab.

Why did I agree to having Joel drive me around town? The last man who ever drove me anywhere was Justin, and I was stuck where he took me, having horrible things done to me with no escape. The memory makes me wince as panic twists in my chest.

Joel opens my door for me, and I look to him with a shocked expression. He holds his hand out for me to grab and surprisingly I do, loading myself into the passenger seat of his truck.

He steps into the driver's seat, my eyes adverted away from him as I buckle my seatbelt. My leg is bouncing anxiously, my gaze fixed out the passenger window.

"Are you okay, y/n?" Joel asks gently from beside me as we drive down my road.

"Yeah," I say breathlessly. "Sorry, just a long day."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

My head turns to look at him, and he's giving me a gentle smile back, the wrinkles by his eyes deepening. His eyes are still that puppy-dog style brown that is alluring and comforting all at once. He isn't looking at me any differently than he was in my office, and he no longer needs anything from me.

"Oh, uh, just a difficult case, I guess. I can't give too many details, you know," I fib.

He nods, "Of course. Well, from what I've heard, you're a wonderful lawyer. My friend raved about you."

"Who's your friend?"

"Vivian Meyers. You helped her with her sexual assault case."

My body stiffens. Damn, I knew it. "Oh, yes. I remember her."

His eyes soften as they look to me. "You really helped her get justice."

"It's just what should've been done. Too many of those creeps get away with light sentences. I don't let that happen, if I can help it."

He beams wide at me, turning his gaze back to the road. "You're an incredible woman, y/n."

My cheeks warm to his compliment, my body wiggling in my seat. "Thank you."

  After the supply store, Joel gets right to work on the washing machine, shoving his body behind it to unscrew the faulty hose on the outside to replace it. My stomach turns with hunger, my hand flying to it to grip it tightly. I was far too anxious to eat earlier, and now I'm suffering the consequences of that decision.

"Can I treat you to dinner?" I ask Joel, gazing at his legs since it's the only part of him I can see.

He laughs. "You don't have to repay me for this, y/n. I really don't mind."

"C'mon," I laugh, "please? You've been so kind."

Joel lets out a loud, dramatic sigh, making me giggle. "Fine. What did you have in mind?"

"Ooo, something simple. I'm not much of a cook."

He laughs. "That makes two of us. I'm good with anything. I'm not picky."

"Chinese food?"

"God, my stomach is growling just thinking about it. Yes, please," he says loudly.

I chuckle as I pull out my phone, adding a few things to the basket that I want. "What do you like? I ordered chicken and broccoli, egg rolls, pork fried rice, and steamed dumplings."

"Oh, god," he groans playfully, the sound stirring something unfamiliar within me. "Yes. All of that sounds perfect. Maybe just add a general tso's chicken and that'll be good. That's my favorite."

"You got it."

"I'll be done in about five minutes. The old hose is almost off," he grunts as he exerts himself. "Forgive me for not being dainty for dinner."

I laugh, watching him reach his hand out for the new hose. "Please. I'm just in my comfy home clothes. You're fine."

"I'm a mess and I smell like old water. You sure you want me to stay?"

"Joel, please," I almost scold. "Yes, I want you to stay."

My eyes widen as I realize what I've just said. I've broken so many of my rules today, and I don't know what to make of it. I've let him in my house, let him drive me around, and now I'm insisting that he stays for dinner. What is this man doing to me?

  Joel pops out from behind the washing machine a bit later, the Chinese food saying it'll arrive in twenty minutes. His white shirt is dampened on the side, causing it to be a bit see through. His body looks soft, but still in shape. I'm not even sure how old he is, but I know he has to be older than me by at least a few years since he has a daughter that's ten.

My eyes linger on his wet shirt. "I'm sorry, I don't have anything for you to change in to."

He shrugs with a smile. "If you don't mind, neither do I." His eyes look around as we leave the laundry room, making our way to the living room. "So, you live alone, I take it?"

"Yes," I breathe. "Being alone is one of my favorite things."

Joel chuckles. "Not me. I couldn't stand it if I didn't have Sarah. She's a blessing for many reasons."

I smile as I walk into my kitchen, bending down into my fridge to pull out an amber bottle. "Beer?"

He nods. "Didn't take you for a beer drinker."

"I keep them around for my dad, actually," I chuckle. "More of a wine drinker, if I'm honest."

Joel twists off the top and discards it on the counter, leaning against it as I take out my wine that I was drinking just last night, thinking of the man standing before me as I fell asleep.

"Where does your dad live?" he asks.

"Oh, about an hour from here. We see each other when we can since we both work like crazy."

He grins wide at me. "What does he do?"

"He works in a warehouse. I'm always worried he's going to hurt himself, but it keeps him in good shape."

"I'm sure he'll be fine. How old is he?"

"He's forty-five. My mom and him had me when they were both young."

Joel's brows furrow, seemingly wanting to say something upsetting, but it looks like he decides against it when his face changes. "Yeah, my wife and I had Sarah when I was twenty-five."

He's thirty-five?! God, he's still so young, but older than me by a decent amount. Why do I find that so attractive?

"You said your wife passed away," I begin cautiously, "how did she die?"

He gives me a soft, small smile. "Car accident. She was on her way to work and someone t-boned her on the driver's side going sixty miles an hour. They told me it was quick and she didn't feel anything."

My hand reaches out and grips his forearm. "God, Joel, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. It was nine years ago. I've come to terms with it and learned how to cope. It took a long time, but—" his voice trails off. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to be depressing."

"No! I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked." I suddenly move my hand, realizing that it was lingering against his skin.

"Y/n," he chuckles, shaking his head, "you can always ask me anything."

We stand there smiling at each other for a moment, the air feeling electrically charged between us. I take a sharp breath in as the doorbell ding rips me from my little daydreaming bubble, and I slightly jump before scurrying away to the front door.

The young girl hands me the food and I thank her as she leaves, gathering the bags in my hands and settling them down gently onto the coffee table.

"Not the dining room?" Joel asks with a slight chuckle.

I grab the remote and flip on the tv. "Thought we could do with some entertainment."

He leaves to go to the kitchen, returning with my wine and his beer, placing them on the table beside the food. "I'm good with anything."

Joel sits beside me on the couch, and I'm hyper-aware of how close he is. I pull out all of the food, quickly finishing the wine in my glass before I pour myself some more.

I turn on a random movie that's playing, not really knowing what it is. "Chopsticks?" I hand him a pair.

Joel takes them and breaks them apart, giving me a slight smirk. "Do you want me to grab a plate?"

"Only if you want them. I'm fine with just eating out of the containers. Doing dishes might be my least favorite thing to do."

He laughs loudly, his head cocked back. "For someone who doesn't like doing dishes, your house is extremely clean."

"Well, I'm a bit of a control freak, I guess. I'm lazy, but my brain doesn't let me be."

Joel chuckles, flashing that gorgeous smile of his. "Being a control freak probably comes from being a lawyer."

No, it's because I don't trust anybody and I must do everything that I can myself.

"Yeah," I lie, chuckling slightly.

I dig my chopsticks into the chicken, pushing the meat and broccoli between the thin wood before bringing it to my lips. I groan at the flavor, my stomach growling in delight.

"This is so good," I moan, nodding my head.

Joel takes a bite and rolls his eyes in enjoyment. "This is exactly what I needed. I usually eat dinner by now."

"Me, too. I was just too distracted with the washer. I'm sorry for dragging you out here."

He shakes his head. "I wanted to help. Please, stop apologizing. You don't ever have to apologize to me."

I swallow the dry lump of attraction that has formed in my throat, leaning forward to pour myself more wine, quickly downing the glass.

Joel laughs as he glances at me. "I guess today was really tough, then?"

No, being near you is next to impossible.

"Yes," I lie again, pouring myself another glass. "I'm glad you got your money back. I'm surprised he was so willing to give it back once he was caught. Most people would fight it."

He shrugs. "He's stupid."

I laugh, shoveling some rice into my mouth with a hand beneath the chopsticks to prevent any rice from falling onto the floor.

"Most men are," I blurt out.

Joel laughs. "I'd love to say you're wrong, but you're not."

I laugh with him, the alcohol lightening my anxieties. "You're not, though."

"Oh, that's not true," he chuckles. "I've done some really stupid stuff."

"Like what?"

He leans back slightly, wiping his mouth with one of the provided napkins. "When I was a teenager, probably about sixteen, I really wanted this girl to like me. So, I thought the cool thing would be to light fireworks off in front of her house. I swore she would think it was the most romantic gesture she's ever seen. Well, turns out that the tree she had in her front yard was incredibly flammable."

I gasp with my hand to my mouth. "Oh, my god!"

Joel nods with a vast grin. "Yup. Tree burned to the ground and she never spoke to me again. Damn thing nearly fell onto her house! I was lucky her parents didn't try to get me in trouble for that. They were furious, but they knew it wasn't my intention."

I laugh loudly, my head cocked back. "I can't believe that. That's hilarious!"

"She did not think so."

"I've never had anyone do something so crazy for me before." My laughter fades, flashing back to Justin and his friend cornering me in that unfamiliar room.

Quickly, I down more wine, my leg beginning to bounce again as I attempt to push away the negative memories that are replaying in my head. No, no, no. This can't happen now.

"Are you okay, y/n?" Joel asks, cutting me back to reality.

My body is trembling, and I'm doing my best to remain calm, but the terror in my mind won't stop. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Y/n, you're shaking." Joel goes to reach out but I quickly retreat. "Was it something I said?"

"No!" my voice answers quickly. "No, Joel, you're fine."

He lets out a sharp sigh. "You're having a panic attack, I can tell. I had them all the time after my wife died. Talk to me, y/n. What's happening?"

"I can't tell you, Joel. It's—too much."

He backs away a bit as he nods. "Okay, how about I tell you another story about how I'm stupid?"

My eyes squeeze shut, nodding my head. "Tell me."

"When Sarah was born, I hadn't gotten much sleep that night before my wife went into labor because I was so nervous about being a dad. I hadn't been eating or sleeping well for a few days, actually. Anyway, she finally goes into labor and I'm wide awake, running through the house to collect all of her things and get her to the hospital. Well, when we get there, and she's finally having the baby, I faint."

I laugh, my heart rate beginning to settle. "You fainted?!"

"It wasn't the blood, the screams, or any of that. It's because I freaked myself out so bad that I couldn't sleep or eat! So, I basically missed my daughter's birth because I'm an idiot."

My lips quiver up. "You were scared to be a dad?"

"Oh, definitely," he nods, beginning to smile, "but once I held Sarah, I knew being a dad is what I'm meant to do with my life. I loved her from the second I saw her, and I still get that feeling every time I look at her. That girl has my whole heart with her."

My brows slant, emotion welling up in my chest that I force down. "Joel, you're an amazing dad. I can already tell that."

"Thanks," he laughs shyly. "I do my best. It's hard being two parents."

"My dad has been two parents from the time I was Sarah's age. He's everything to me, and I know you're everything to her, too. My dad got two jobs just to get me through law school, something he wanted but never had the money for."

"He sounds like an amazing man."

I nod with a small smile. "He is."

Joel's eyes flick to my legs, then back up to my gaze. "Your legs stopped bouncing. Are you feeling better?"

"Yes," I breathe out slowly. "Thank you, Joel."

He nods. "You're welcome." His eyes flick between mine. "Do you get those often?"

"Not super often, no. Just lately I've been having some triggers, I guess."

Joel frowns with furrowed brows. "What I always tried to do was just take deep breaths and distract my brain by watching something light. Have you tried that?"

I nod with a smirk. "Therapist recommended."

He chuckles. "Mine too."

"You helped a lot, honestly. My dad is the only one who was ever able to help talk me down from an episode."

Joel looks to me with those soft eyes, my living room light shining off the velvety brown of them. "That's a very nice compliment. I had to go through them completely alone. I only had my one year old daughter when they were at their worst. If you ever want to reach out when you're panicking, you can. You shouldn't have to go through them alone."

My gaze softens, those tears trying to make their way to the surface again but I shoo them away. "That means a lot, Joel. Thank you."

"You're welcome, y/n."

  After the movie ends, and I'm tipsy from the wine, I lean onto Joel's shoulder, my eyes beginning to flutter closed. I feel calm in this moment beside him, and I'm not sure if it's the alcohol or just Joel.

"Y/n?" he whispers.

"Hmm?"

"It's getting late and I have to get back to Sarah. Will you be okay if I leave?"

I nod, lifting my head to look up at him. "Of course."

His eyes search mine, concern etched into them. "Promise me you'll call or text if you're panicking again. I don't want you going through them alone."

"You're sweet to care, Joel," I beam at him. "Thank you."

He grins as his slightly glares at me. "You didn't promise."

"That's because I can't. I don't open up or express my feelings to anybody, not even my dad."

Joel goes to touch my face, but stops himself. "I was that way too. I promise it's better to not face whatever you're going through alone."

With a steady hand, I grab his and place it on my cheek. "I'm sorry for freaking out earlier. I'm embarrassed."

He tucks some hair behind my ear, cupping the side of my face. "No, don't be. I'm glad I was here to help."

I lean into his touch, my eyes closing a bit to savor the feeling of his skin on mine. When I open them, I see Joel gazing at me, giving me a look that I know is want. Normally it would completely freak me out, but the tipsy affect of the wine mixed with Joel's gentle aura have me feeling incredibly—safe.

"You can," I say softly, my eyes on his lips.

Joel cocks his head. "I can, what?"

"Kiss me. I can see that you want to."

He chuckles slightly, rubbing his thumb against my cheek. "Do you want me to?"

I nod. "Yes."

Joel slowly leans in, my heart suddenly pounding in my chest as he gently takes my lips against his. His mouth is gentle and eager, my own mouth parting to allow him to slip his tongue into it. He does exactly that, eliciting a quiet moan from my throat. He tastes of beer and Chinese food, mixed with his own unique flavor. It's intoxicating, making me feel more drunk on him than the wine.

My fingers go into his hair, gently tugging to control the kiss as our tongues swirl together. My body is alight with a passion I've never experienced, and there's an ache between my legs. Joel's right hand stays on my face, the other at the small of my back, pulling me in closer to him.

I part our lips and kiss his stubbly jaw, moving down to his neck and throat. He lets out a small groan of approval, the sound further arousing me.

"Y/n," he breathes out, stopping me in my tracks. "Please don't take this the wrong way, but we should stop."

My lips come to a halt from his bobbing Adam's apple, moving my face into view of his. "You want to stop?"

He strokes my face, his gaze having a bit of heat to it. "I've thought you were beautiful since the moment I walked into your office, and I've wanted to kiss you all night. That being said, you drank a bit, and I don't want you doing something you'll regret."

I stare at him with a dumbfounded expression, the rate of my heart only increasing from the realization that Joel might actually be a good guy.

"I—" my voice trails off, "I can't believe you said that."

Joel cocks his head as he chuckles. "Why? Who the hell would take advantage of a drunk woman?"

"A lot of people."

"A lot of fucking creeps," he mutters. "It makes me a bit sad that you're impressed by the bare minimum from a man. Have you ever had a decent boyfriend?"

With tears filling my eyes, I shake my head. "No."

Joel's eyes soften as he pulls me in to a tight hug, my body weakening in his hold. He embraces me for a moment, the tears finally spilling over my lids and onto my cheeks. Is this the way men are supposed to treat women? Am I supposed to feel this safe and cherished? I barely know him, yet I feel like he'd go to war to protect me.

"Joel," I say through my sniffling.

He pulls away, swiping my tears away with his thumbs. "Yes, y/n?"

My shoulders sag as I let out a large sigh. "Would you like to go on a date with me some time?"

Joel beams, nodding his head. "Definitely. This Saturday?"

I giggle, "I'd love to."

  When Joel leaves, he gives me a soft, lingering kiss at the front door, smiling as I watch him walk away with his tool kit in his hand. My body stays leaning against the doorframe until he drives away, letting out a sigh of pure contentment.

I haven't felt this giddy since Justin and I first started dating, but the fuzzy feelings towards him were short-lived. We didn't date for very long before we slept together for the first time, and after that it was like something switched in him. I was upset that I gave him my virginity, but I trusted him when I did. It was probably about two weeks later when him and his friend took me to his house and had their way with me.

My eyes close as the vivid images of them come back, doing my best to shoo them from my mind. I'd like to be honest with Joel and tell him just how scared I am of being intimate with him, but I don't want to freak him out.

Maybe I will after our date this Saturday. I was more than ready and willing to jump his bones tonight, a feeling I never thought I'd get again. But Joel seems to be changing me, and though I'm terrified, I'm somehow also hopeful that it'll be okay with him.

****

[arielhopepeace]

This is the final part! I hope you enjoyed this short little smutty, kinda depressing Joel story! Lol ❤️ please dm me with suggestions for more if you’d like to read something specific. I’d love to hear from you!

Part Five

18+ only

Tw: SMUT almost the whole chapter, praising, slightly rough spanking, m receiving, angst, age gap

5,400 words

Joel

My body is being caressed, gentle fingers running through the hair on my chest as my eyes flutter open and air deeply fills my lungs. I turn my head to see y/n smiling at me, still topless from last night and wearing nothing but her underwear.

I instantly shift my body on top of hers, emitting a playful giggle from her as I lean down to place a gentle kiss against her lips. "My god, what a sight to wake up to," I say somewhat gruffly.

"Well, good morning to you too, handsome," she chuckles, her hands on my back. "Did you sleep well?"

"Very," I beam, gazing down at her. "And you?"

"Very comfortable, but not very long. It's hard to sleep in someone else's bed, you know?"

"I understand. If you wanted another sleepover tonight, maybe it could be at your place."

Her eyes widen with excitement. "Really? You wanna see me again?"

"I don't ever want to stop seeing you, honey," I chuckle as the tip of my nose grazes hers.

"I'll never get over how perfect you are," y/n beams, her cheeks darkening. "You're a dream."

"No," I say before giving her a quick kiss, "I was made in a lab, remember?"

Y/n giggles as I slide off the bed, going into my closet to fetch a shirt for her. She takes it from my outstretched hands, thanking me as she slides it over her torso.

"Tired of seeing me naked already?" she teases.

I scoff, vigorously shaking my head. "Absolutely not. Just thought you might be more comfortable."

"I am," she giggles. "Thank you."

My eyes flick to my watch, seeing that it's nearly eleven in the morning. "Holy shit, I slept in."

"You looked so peaceful, I didn't want to wake you."

Striding over to y/n who is sat at the edge of my bed, I give her a sweet, lingering kiss. "Baby, you must be starving. Let's have lunch together."

Y/n smiles bashfully. "Where? Here?"

"Anywhere you want."

She shrugs indecisively. "I don't care, Joel. We can eat here."

"I'm not much of a cook, but I'll see what I can do with what I've got."

My hand stretches out for hers, smiling as she happily takes it and leaps off the bed. We walk into my kitchen, my free hand pulling the fridge open to see what's inside. There's a few chicken breasts that need to be cooked, and I nod to myself as I pull them out, reaching in for the marinade as well.

"Want me to grill some chicken?" I ask her.

"That sounds amazing," she kisses my cheek. "I think you'd look sexy manning the grill."

"Yeah?" I raise a brow as I smirk. "Too bad I don't have an apron or something."

Y/n's finger travels down my chest and stomach. "I think shirtless works."

"Shirtless it is, then."

We walk outside through the sliding glass door, silently thanking god that I have a privacy fence so that my neighbors can't see me grilling shirtless at eleven in the morning. What would they say if they saw me with y/n? Would they think I was a creep? Would they know she's Sarah's teacher?

A worried thought pops into my head as y/n sits on the patio furniture, my fingers turning the knob on the grill, igniting the propane-fueled fire. "Hey, y/n, would you ever get in trouble at your job if they found out we were seeing each other?"

"Honestly? I don't know. I'd like to say no, but I'm not sure. Why?"

I shrug, shaking my head. "Just a worry I had."

"Well, I mean, I don't really have anybody to tell anyway, so it's not like it'll get around."

"What if we eventually tell Sarah or she finds out? She'll probably be so excited that she'll want to tell her whole class."

Y/n makes a wincing face. "Ooo, yeah. I wouldn't want anybody to think I was playing favorites with her, or being more hard on her just because I'm dating her dad."

"Exactly," I nod, drizzling marinade on the raw, spiced chicken. "I don't know. It's just kind of concerning, I guess."

"You and I worry a lot," she giggles. "Something I noticed on our first time talking together."

"I've been honest and vulnerable from the start," I chuckle sheepishly. "You just bring it out of me."

"I love that you're like that with me. I'm the same way."

"Good," I beam at her, admiring her bare-faced beauty. "What do you want to do today? Anything exciting?"

"Well, I had asked last night if today could be about you, but you kinda shrugged me off," she glares playfully as she crosses her arms. "So, can we do something that you want?"

"I'm more of a giver than a receiver," my mouth twitches up, being reminded of her writhing beneath me last night.

Y/n flutters her lashes as her cheeks deepen to scarlet. "I can tell."

"But if you really want to, maybe we could go bowling or play darts. Those things are fun." I look to the grill briefly as I add the breasts. "Basically, I just want another date with you."

She stands, striding over to me as she throws her arms around my neck. "I'd love another date with you."

"Bowling tonight?"

Y/n nods. "Yes, please." She kisses me, and then my neck, her hand traveling down to my briefs where my cock is already semi-hard from the reminder of her pretty moans. "And right now?"

I swallow thickly. "Right now?"

My gaze follows her as she drifts down easily to her knees, my eyes blowing wide in surprise as she stares up at me innocently.

"Can I thank you for last night?" she asks quietly as she hooks her fingers into the sides of my briefs.

"Oh, baby, you don't have to thank me—" my sentence stops as she kisses me softly through the fabric.

"I want to. Please, Joel."

I push my hand through her hair, nodding subtly as she gives me a vast grin, shimmying down my boxers until they're around my ankles. My cock springs free, gently smacking her chin as she gazes at it with admiration.

"God, you're fucking huge." Y/n licks her lips, her mouth coming forward to swipe her tongue up the slit of my tip. "How will you ever fit inside of me?" her sultry voice rings in my ears.

A quiet groan escapes my throat, gazing down at her as she wraps her hot, silky mouth around me. My own mouth hangs open, gripping at her hair until it's bunched up at the back of her head in a messy bundle.

"Fuck," I groan, my head hanging back as she sucks me slowly and firmly. "You suck me so fucking good."

She chuckles lightly, her hand finding its way into the mix as her mouth moves further down, stroking me in time with the bob of her head. My eyes force themselves back to watch her, the sight of her so needy for my cock nearly making me cum in her perfect mouth. I want to tease her, deciding to pull her mouth off of me by gently jerking her back by her hair.

"No, no," she whines, "please, let me keep going."

I groan, easing her back onto me and being encased in her sweet mouth. "Love how cock drunk you are for me, petal." My stomach flexes as my release is nearing its debut. "I'm already so close."

Her hand begins to stroke the base of me faster, as her mouth keeps its moderate, firm pace. The sounds of her sucking me makes my toes curl, the filthy slurping and squelching of her mouth driving me absolutely wild.

"God, y/n. Jesus—fuck," I curse, no longer able to make an intelligible sentence.

Her eyes are shut as her brows are furrowed, burying me into her throat as she bobs her head quickly, coughing and choking on me with her hands now clawing at my stomach.

I place both of my hands on the back of her head, my hips thrusting slightly as I chase my high, feeling myself reach the very brink.

"You gonna take all my cum, petal? You want it down that pretty little throat?"

She nods fervently, groaning around me as she does.

My legs shake as I begin to spill my release into her mouth, groaning out loudly as my hands tightly fist at her hair. Y/n moans with delight, my cum pouring out in hot ropes against her tongue, the feeling far better than one I've ever given myself.

"Fuck," I sigh, looking down as she slowly pops off of me, opening her mouth to show that it's filled with my release. "Oh, my god."

Her eyes are locked onto mine as she swallows, swiping her tongue all around her lips and bringing the back of her hand up to wipe her sloppy chin.

"You taste so good, Joel," she beams, sliding my briefs up as she stands. "And you gave me so much."

I groan, pulling on her hair to tilt her head up towards me. "You have no idea how bad I'm going to fucking wreck you, y/n. You're making me crazy."

She chuckles, biting her lip gently. "I can't wait to find out."

As we sit at the dining room table eating our lunch, my eyes are nearly incapable of focusing on anything other than y/n's beautiful lips. I can't stop remembering how good they felt around me, and how quickly she was able to make me finish.

Even at almost forty-one years old, I'm finding my sex drive to not be even a little bit close to drying up. How could I ever not be turned on with a woman like her around me? Not only am I completely enamored with who she is as a person, but her beauty is beyond what I'd imagine a woman going for me to look like. I must have done something right in a past life in order to have someone like her wanting me now.

"What?" she asks sheepishly as she gingerly chews.

I reach my hand out and place it over hers, bringing it up to my lips to kiss her knuckles. "You are just so beautiful, baby."

Her cheeks flush a shade darker, her eyes nervously looking down to her lap. "You're so sweet, Joel. I don't think I've ever received so many compliments from someone."

"You've been with the wrong people."

Y/n giggles, leaning across the corner of the table to kiss me lightly. "I know. You've already shown me that."

My eyes gaze into hers, mesmerized by the shade of them, as well as their delicate, feminine shape. "You want to go out after this?"

She nods. "I'd love to. Bowling still? Maybe after, we could get some snacks for a movie at my house tonight, if you'd like."

"I'd love that," I beam at her. "I'll take you home to get some clothes, and I'll pack my toothbrush."

Y/n laughs, placing her hand on my forearm. "God, you're so cute."

On the way to y/n's, she's sat beside me in my truck wearing my shirt and my boxers with her dress laying across her lap. She looks incredible in my clothes; it's hard to take my eyes off of her.

I get out and open her door, holding her hand as she steps down, giving me a swift, unexpected kiss once she does. It makes me smile, feeling so perfectly content, way more than I have in a very long time.

We walk inside, the cool air of her home greeting me, gaining me relief from the stifling humidity outside. Y/n guides me to her bedroom, the sight of it much more tidy and put-together than mine. Everything seems so pristine, and the air smells of fresh laundry.

She walks across the room, hanging her dress back up in her little walk-in closet before grabbing her phone off of her bed, quickly apologizing for it.

"Sorry, I'm sure nobody texted me or anything, I just haven't checked my phone since Friday morning, pretty much," she laughs lightly, gliding up to me. "Just been having so much fun with you."

I kiss her sweetly, running my nose along hers like I love to do. "Mmm, me too," I hum with contentment.

Y/n chuckles before pulling away, gazing back down at her phone as I sit at the edge of the bed, my eyes wandering around the room.

"Joel," she says lowly.

My gaze snaps to her face, the expression on it unreadable, immediately making me feel concerned. "What? What's wrong?"

"The gynecologist emailed me my results Friday evening," she begins quietly, "and this entire time I've been with you, we could've been having sex."

I laugh, relief flooding me as well as a hint of excitement. "I'm glad there's nothing wrong, y/n."

She makes her way to me from the door, straddling my lap as I support her weight on my thighs. "Wanna bowl in a little bit instead?"

Without even answering, my lips melt onto hers, the kiss immediately heating up. Our tongues clash and our breathing becomes more desperate. My hands lift off the shirt on her torso, tossing it aside before she pushes me gently onto my back. I grip at her ass, kneading it before slipping the boxers and panties off of her.

"I need you so fucking bad, Joel," she breathes heavily between kisses. "Please."

I grin devilishly at her, rolling us until she's on her back, already practically panting beneath me. My torso leans back to lift my shirt off, quickly unbuckling my belt to unfasten my jeans and kick them off with my shoes.

Her legs are already wrapped around me, pulling my hips into her by her ankles, the neediness she feels for me being deliciously evident.

"Let me taste you," I groan against her lips, dropping my hand between us to rub that pretty little clit of hers.

"Fuck," she moans, her eyes squeezing shut. "Please, baby, just fuck me. I need to feel you."

"God, you're so desperate," I beam, her hips grinding against my fingers.

My cock aches, begging me to bury myself into her, and to never ever stop. I move my fingers from her to around myself, running the tip along her slit, being sure to rub at the very top.

"Yes," she nods, her eyes looking down between us. "Fuck, Joel, you're so big," her voice is hushed, sounding almost nervous.

I take her face into my left hand, gently gripping her jaw to force her to look up at me. "Eyes on me, baby. Want to watch your face when I fuck you."

Her brows furrow with desperation, my hand finally lining myself up with her entrance. None of me can believe this is happening so spur of the moment, but all of me absolutely needs her.

Slowly, I ease myself in, her eyes widening and her puffy lips dropping open as her silky walls squeeze my length. The sensation of her makes my body shake with pleasure, my eyes briefly closing as I let out a deep groan of satisfaction.

Y/n's arousal soaks me, making it easy for me to pull myself out before pushing back in.

"Jesus," I groan, keeping my left hand gripped onto her face. "Grip me so goddamn tight, petal."

She moans loudly, a gasp hitching in her throat as I give her one quick thrust. "Joel, please."

My body is in pleasure overload, my mind spinning faster than it ever has, every single nerve firing wildly. I release her face, leaning down to place my lips against hers as I start to rock my hips faster. Every pull of her walls makes my eyes squeeze shut, eliciting an animalistic grunt from me.

"Fuck, y/n, I'm trying so hard to be gentle," I groan, "but you feel too fucking good."

How deliciously wet she is is audible, only spurring me on further into my rough drive forward. The headboard of her bed knocks against the wall loudly, y/n's breasts bouncing wildly as I bury myself to the hilt nonstop.

"Joel!" she cries out, her back arching upwards.

I groan, pounding into her harder, sweat beginning to form on my brow as I admire her beautifully twisted-up face. My lips press against hers swiftly before I lean back, one hand on her hip and the other pressed to her swollen bud.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," she curses, her hands clawing at the comforter beneath her.

Her eyes lock onto mine, her fucked out expression nearly bringing me to my peak just from the sight of it. Her entrance clenches around me as a moan leaves her perfect lips, my hips having a mind of their own as I fuck into her almost aggressively.

"You take me so good," I groan, leaning my head back. "Jesus fucking christ, baby."

Her cunt swallows me whole every single time I thrust forward, my head turning back down to watch her beautiful face scrunch with pleasure. A broken, throaty scream leaves her, feeling her walls flutter around my cock, squeezing me so tightly that I can't help but cry out myself.

"Ooo, that's right, petal; cum on me. You've fucking earned it."

Y/N's body writhes and shakes, withdrawing my fingers once I know she's down from her climax. My hands grip either side of her hips now, giving her every single inch of me as hard and deep as I can. Her arousal runs down to my balls, making my mind go wild with things to say to her.

"Cum in me, Joel, please!" she cries. "Please, baby. I'm yours."

I'm yours.

Those two words send me instantly barreling off the cliff of ecstasy, my release pumping out of me as my cock throbs deep inside of her. My groans are loud and my fingers dig into her skin, trying to ground myself from the intense feeling that she has given me.

I shudder, my eyes finally opening to peer down at the incredibly sexy, alluring woman beneath me who has a vast grin on her face.

With a small chuckle, I lean down, giving her a neat, tongue-filled kiss. "What are you so smiley about?"

Y/n giggles slightly, her fingers stroking the side of my stubbly chin. "You feel so good." She bites her lip. "You fuck so good."

Reluctantly, I withdraw from her, laying beside her with my body being a sweaty, panting mess. My head turns to face her, my hand reaching up to run my thumb along her bottom lip.

"Did I hurt you, baby?"

Y/n immediately shakes her head. "Not at all. You felt amazing."

"God, you take me so fucking good," I smile, turning onto my side to pull her in for a soft kiss. "You're amazing, y/n."

She chuckles, her arm around my midsection as she presses her cheek against my dampened chest. "Can we do this all night instead of bowling?"

"Ooo," I coo with intrigue, "I am very okay with that."

"Mmm," she hums. "Me, too."

  In the shower with y/n, my hands are incapable of leaving her skin, my lips on her smooth neck as she cranes it to grant me full access. Her wet hair hangs down, my fingers pushing it to the side in order to caress her slippery back.

Y/n hums at my touch, my head beside hers from behind as I watch the water cascade down her front.

"I can't get enough of you," I say quietly, nipping at her earlobe gently. "I thought I was depraved before," I scoff. "It's worse now."

She giggles, her eyes fluttering closed. "Mmm, me too." Her head turns to lock eyes with me, our lips meeting together with effortless timing. "You've made me so sore."

"Aw," I coo, wrapping my arms around her waist to pull her against my body. "We can wait for another day if you're too sore, petal. I don't want to hurt you."

"It's the best kind of hurt, Joel," she grins, pulling me in by my chin for another sweet kiss. "I want more."

I chuckle. "You're gonna end up make me sore, honey." My erection involuntarily presses into her back, doing my best to turn my hips away.

"You know," she turns, wrapping her arms around my neck, "for an old guy, you sure do have the sex drive of a young person."

My mouth hangs open as she begins giggling, her laughter so infectious that I can't prevent myself from giggling with her.

"You are such a brat!" I tease, sliding my hands down her back to grip her ass. "I might be offended if I didn't see how easily you came for this old guy."

Her face brightens, her previously confident demeanor melting away into the submissive goddess that she is. "Joel," she says bashfully with a slight giggle, "when I told you that I'm yours, I meant it."

The intense arousal mixes with that butterfly feeling she always gives me, my eyes softening as I try to tame my dirty thoughts.

"Yeah?" I ask with an arched brow. "And I'm yours."

Her eyes seem to go bleary, her face suddenly burying into my chest.

"Y/n, honey, what's wrong?" I lift her face, seeing more than just water droplets on her cheeks. "Why are you crying, sweet girl?"

"Because," she sniffles, shaking her head, "I'm terrified."

"Of what?"

Her eyes meet mine, the sadness in them shattering my heart. "Of loving again."

My heart aches, wrapping her up into a tight embrace. "I promise you, y/n, that whenever you decide I'm lucky enough for you to tell me you love me, I'll never take that for granted."

“I was with Sam for four years and engaged for one. Everything was perfect until he proposed, and then he fucking cheated on me and I just—” y/n’s head shakes against my chest, “you’ve already made me feel so great, and I’m so scared of how horrible it’s going to feel when it ends.”

“Ends?” I cock my head, pulling her face into view. “Who said it’s going to end, y/n?”

“Fuck,” she shakes her head in embarrassment, “I’ve known you for a week and I’m already freaking out about stuff I don’t even need to freak out about.”

I chuckle. “You can always tell me your fears, baby. We’ve both been pretty emotionally vulnerable from the start.”

“I know, I know,” her bottom lip gets dragged by her teeth. “But would you ever settle down again? Get married? Have more kids?”

“Honestly, yes, I would. How old was your dad when he had you?”

She chuckles, her eyes on mine. “Fifty-two.”

“Exactly,” I beam. “That’s another roughly eleven years for this old man,” I tease her, resulting in a giggle. “And if I’m lucky enough to still have you in eleven years, there’s no way we wouldn’t have kids of our own.”

Her brows pinch together with emotion, more tears sliding down her damp cheeks as she pulls me in for a sweet, deep kiss. “You’re perfect, Joel. I can’t stand how perfect you are. It’s too good to be true.”

“No,” I say gently, kissing her forehead, “it’s exactly what you deserve, baby.”

After we come back from the store with various snacks; fruity, salty, savory, sweet, it’s only around four in the afternoon. Y/n and I carry in the groceries, her stubbornness not allowing me to take in all of them myself. We place everything down on the counter in her kitchen, unloading the bags to put everything away.

I store the wine and beer in the fridge, chuckling as y/n walks past me and gives me a small smack to my butt.

“Hey!” I drag out with a laugh. “You really just spanked me?”

She laughs loudly, reaching up to put chips away in her pantry. “You’re damn right I did.”

“Seems only fair that I do it to you, too.” My hand raises, charging towards her as she squeals and runs away.

Both of us are laughing as we run through her house, my arms finally wrapping around her to pull her body into me. Y/n is giggling hysterically, kicking her legs as she shakes her head back and forth.

“No!” she feigns resistance. “I don’t want to be spanked by an incredibly sexy man! What a nightmare!” her voice drips with sarcasm.

I bend her over the couch, my cheeks aching from how much I’m grinning. “I think you were made for a good spanking with an ass like this, baby.”

Y/n looks back at me as she bites her lip, her cheeks reddened. “Spank me then.”

My hands rub against the fabric of her jean shorts, slowly pulling them down on the sides to reveal the white cotton underwear she has on beneath them. I can’t help but immediately harden at the sight before me, admiring every curve of her perfect body.

I trace the line of her panties, dipping my fingers into the back to ease them down her legs. Y/n’s thighs press together, letting me know that she’s already perfectly wet for me between them.

My palm rubs the smooth skin of her right cheek, caressing it with admiration before raising it to give her a gentle smack.

She laughs, burying her grin into her arm.

“Are you actually laughing?” I ask her with a small smirk on my face.

“Just was expecting a spanking, not a tap.”

With a devilish grin, I raise my brows, nodding my head. “Okay, petal. You asked for it.”

I raise my hand up, stretching it back to my shoulder before connecting my palm to her ass. Y/n’s mouth hangs open, her eyes squeezed shut as she lets out a small cry.

A red Joel-sized handprint begins to appear on her ass, and I immediately feel guilty, gently rubbing the swelling skin.

“Again,” she says quietly.

“Y/n—”

Her head turns back, her eyes soft but teeming with lust. “Please. Felt so good, baby.”

My cock twitches at her plea, making me crack a small smile. I move a bit to the left to rub her other ass cheek with my right hand, almost as if I’m warning it of what I’m about to do. As my palm makes harsh contact with her skin, it begins to tingle from the force, checking y/n’s face to see it riddled with arousal.

“You really are the depraved one, aren’t you?” I ask, giving her another rough smack to the other cheek to give the left one a break.

“Yes,” she groans quietly. “God, I need you again, Joel. Please.”

It takes me less than five seconds to free myself from my jeans and briefs, immediately lining myself up with her entrance to push my cock deep inside of it.

“Fuck,” I groan out, my head briefly leaning back from the still unfamiliar grip of her walls.

My hand reaches down and threads into her hair, making a fist at the base of her scalp to pull her head up. Y/n cries out as I slam into her with no abandon, being so wholly lost in the feel of her perfect cunt that I can barely control myself.

“How do you take me so good, huh?” I ask gruffly. “Where’d you learn to take cock this fucking good?”

She screams into the air, my grip tightening on her hair. “Fuck,” she curses with a loud whine.

Our skin meeting repeatedly echoes throughout her living room, my hand tossing her hair aside to reach beneath her and rub her clit. She gasps as her walls clench tightly against me, making me groan gruffly.

“Joel,” she moans, her ass bouncing against my hips in time with every thrust. “You fuck like a god.”

I chuckle lowly, leaning down to place kisses on her spine where her shirt has ridden up as my hips stagger a bit.

“And you take it like a goddess, petal.”

Y/n’s brows furrow with pleasure, feeling her clench down on me as my fingers continue their quick, neat swirls. I bury myself to the hilt, holding my hips steady for a moment to better feel her spasming cunt.

As she releases onto me, I rub her through it, groaning as her orgasm soaks me. My cock drags out just a bit so I can look down and see the sheen coat of y/n’s cum making me an utter mess.

“Love how easily you cum for me, sweet girl,” I rasp, placing my hands on her hips as I quickly pull out. “Need to see that pretty face again, baby.”

Y/n’s legs visibly shake as she sits on one of the couch cushions, my body positing myself back between her legs with one of my knees on the floor. I’m deeply pushed into her, feeling her soaking apex clinging to me once again.

“Yes,” I hiss, pressing my forehead to hers, “that’s my girl.”

She groans with her eyes shut, her head tilted back as her arms are wrapped around my neck. I fuck up into her, thoroughly enjoying the sound of her wetness encasing me over and over again.

My lips lean up to attach to hers, my breathing already ragged from the intensity of my strokes. I need to cum, and it needs to be inside of her.

“You want me to fill you again, petal? Hmm?” I ask with broken words.

“Please,” she begs, “I’m yours to use, baby.”

“Jesus fucking christ,” I grunt.

My balls slap against her ass as I pound into her, eliciting a scream from y/n, and an inhuman cry from me as I spill my cum inside of her. Every single rope that falls out feels better than the last, my cock throbbing from every bit that leaks out of me.

I shudder from the intensity, my body attempting to come down from the extreme high it just felt.

“Baby,” I breathe, placing my hands on either side of her head, “you’re fucking crazy and I love it.”

Y/n giggles, letting out a slight moan as I slip out of her. “I’m just crazy for you. God, I feel like you’ve turned me into a nympho.”

I kiss her, briefly running my tongue along hers. “You’ve done the same to me, baby.” I stand, watching as she leans forward to lick both of our releases off of my softening length. “Fuck,” I drag out, mesmerized by the insatiable woman beneath me.

“We taste good together,” she beams as she licks her lips, finally standing with me. “Let me grab a towel.”

Y/n disappears into the house, returning with a white towel that she goes to hand me, but quickly jerks away, a playful grin on her face.

“God, what are you up to now?” I ask with a chuckle.

“Skinny dipping?”

I chuckle and nod, taking her hand as she guides me to the pool, both of us jumping into the deep end. The water makes a loud plunging sound around me, the bubbles cascading upwards as I finally come up for air. My arms immediately find y/n, wrapping her up tightly and giving her a sweet, lingering kiss.

“I really like you, Joel,” she says quietly, pressing her forehead against mine as she wraps her legs around my waist. “Did I freak you out with the marriage and kids talk?”

“Not at all, baby. You just wanted to know if you’re wasting your time, and I get it.” My eyes stay locked on hers, her long lashes wet from the pool. “But I promise that if we continue to click as easily as we have just in the last week, that a lifetime of marriage and kids with you would be a dream.”

Y/n grins vastly, twisting her delicate fingers into my soaking hair. “You’re incredible.” She kisses me softly. “Can I see you again next weekend?”

“And the weekend after that,” I kiss her, “and the weekend after that,” I kiss her again, “and the weekend after that…”

****

[arielhopepeace]

Part Four

18+ only

Tw: mention of cancer, mention of death, anxiety, panic attacks, insecurity, emotional abuse, gun use, slight exhibitionism, edging, teasing, dirty talk, phone sex, age gap, praising

9,200 words (holy hell I’m so sorry lol)

Y/n

You find yourself zoning out at the back of the classroom as your students gather their things together in preparation for dismissal. You've barely managed to teach today due to the memory of Joel's sultry voice in your ear, and his lips all over your wet skin. Last night was a fantasy come to life, and you've been craving his touch ever since.

How soon is too soon to see him again? Will you really let him know how desperate you are after already pleading for him last night? You feel embarrassed at the memory, your mind avoiding that to recall his hot breath against your neck as he swirled your button full of nerves with his skilled fingers.

"Ms. Y/l/n?" a small voice snaps you back to reality. "I found my essay."

You smile, shaking your head slightly as you grab the paper from the little girl in front of your desk. "Thank you," you beam at her. "If you haven't turned in your essay, please make sure to hand it in before you leave!" you announce to the rest of the class.

A few of the students drop off papers, your classroom clearing out as your mind begins to wander again. You pull your phone out from your desk, seeing that you have a message from Joel.

Joel

11:30am

I haven't stopped thinking about you today. Is that bad?

2:00pm

No, and it's been just as bad for me. It was difficult to teach.

You ready your things, collecting the essays and putting them into a folder for you to take home and read through tonight. Your appointment with the gynecologist is at 2:30, so you're feeling incredibly eager to leave.

As you lay on the table with your heels in the stirrups and a paper sheet over your lap, you stare at the white ceiling above you. You wonder what the woman who slept with Sam looked like, and you're curious if he's still seeing her. Of course it doesn't matter, but you can't help the slight insecurity you feel from being cheated on.

You never claimed to be perfect in your relationship, but Sam's lack of compassion towards your career was the biggest competitor in tearing you two apart. You're honestly grateful that he showed his true colors before you were married. And now you have your mind set on a man much gentler—a man that you feel is perfect for you.

There's a knock on the door and a woman in a white smock steps in, introducing herself and asking what the means for your visit are today.

"Well, my ex-fiancé cheated on me and then had unprotected sex with me. So, I'm just checking to be safe."

"Ugh," she scoffs, "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. I'll be better without him."

The doctor chuckles, slowly easing the cold, lubed metal into you. "Exactly. At least you know." She swabs your cervix, making you wince slightly before she withdraws the device. "Okay, everything looks perfectly normal. Have you had any oddly colored discharge?"

"No," you shake your head. "Nothing out of the ordinary."

"Okay, good. Well, from just a physical examination, I'd try to relax and not worry, but I will send this sample off to the lab."

You sit up, allowing your feet to hang off the raised bed. "And when will those results come back?"

"About a week," she smiles. "Could be less. I know you're probably eager to find out."

"Yes," you sigh, not knowing if you can wait another week to ravage Joel. "Thank you, Doctor."

"You're welcome. Our office will send you an email with your results, so be on the lookout for that."

"Thank you, I will."

You leave the office, feeling relieved that there's nothing seriously wrong, but yet disappointed that the results are going to take a while to get back. Will Joel still want to spend time with you even if you can't have sex? Of course he will, right? Why do you feel so worried that he won't?

At home, you sigh as you slip off your shoes, flopping down onto the couch with your head leaning against the back of it. All you really want to do is take a nice, long bath and maybe have a small nap while you're at it. But you can't right now. You have to read through all of the essays.

You grab your manilla folder and start at the top of the papers, smiling fondly at every single one individually. Some of the kids write about their family pet, their own lives, or their parents. One of them wrote about how they want to go to space one day and land on the moon.

When you come across Sarah's, you read the entire thing with a vast grin, enjoying how much she adores her dad. She talks about how he takes care of her, and how she wishes she had a mom, but she thinks her dad is enough to be two parents. The kind words of affection bring tears to your eyes, correcting a few of her mistakes and settling on a final grade for the paper.

Joel is the perfect man, and you're going crazy at the thought of him. Maybe it's because he met you at such a vulnerable point in your life, but you want to be with him. You're just hoping he wants the same thing. Would he really want to date you? He's already been married and had a daughter that he adores, not to mention the sixteen year age gap between the two of you. Obviously it doesn't bother him to some extent, but would he ever want to settle down again? And especially with someone as young as you?

Your doubts unleash a tsunami over your mind, finishing up the final essay before heading to your bedroom to change into your bathing suit. You'd prefer a casual float in the vast pool over a restricted bath right now. You want the freedom and space, also the exercise that comes with swimming.

Before you leave to go outside, you send Joel a picture of you in your bikini, biting your lip as you lock your phone. You're reminded of how hard he was in your palm, and how thick and long his length felt. Your eyes flutter closed as you imagine taking all of him inside you, that same sudden fear that you won't be good enough creeping into your mind.

Sam has made you more insecure than you've ever been in your life. Never have you questioned your ability to please a man, but now it's all you can think about. Will Joel enjoy the way you feel or the manner in which you grind your hips? You don't know. And it makes your chest feel heavy with apprehension.

When you step out of the pool, it's nearly six o'clock, and you see that you have an unread message notification from Joel on your phone screen.

Joel

4:45pm

You are one hell of a woman, y/n. Thank you for being the best distraction from work.

5:55pm

Oh, you're very welcome. Are you off now?

Your phone buzzes in your hand, seeing Joel's contact name popping up at the top as you press your thumb against the green 'answer' button.

"Hi," you say happily. "I take it you're home?"

Joel chuckles into your ear, making your thighs squeeze together. "Yes, I am. I just called to ask you how your day was. Figured it would be faster than texting."

You beam at the ground as you reply, "It was good. I went to my appointment and she said everything looks fine, but I won't get the official results for a week."

"Good, I'm glad everything is okay on the surface. At least that'll ease your mind a little."

"It did," you sigh. "Can't say I'm not disappointed about having to wait a week, though."

"Aw," Joel coos before lowering his voice, "I promise that I'm just as desperate, y/n. It took everything in me to not fuck you in the pool."

Your brows furrow together as an intense flush of arousal shoots to your groin. "Joel, please don't talk to me like that when there's nothing I can do about it."

"There's definitely something we can do, but only if you want to."

You giggle, stripping off your bathing suit as you walk to your bedroom. "What, phone sex?"

"More like I'll talk you through it. I can't really participate since I'm not alone."

"I want you to cum, too," you whine, hearing Joel chuckle lowly in your ear.

"I will, angel. Let's just focus on you right now." The line is silent for a moment. “I want you to lay on your bed for me,” he says gently, his voice still low.

“You sure you don’t want to just FaceTime me?” you giggle as you climb onto your mattress, not caring if you’re wetting it with your pool-soaked hair and skin.

“If I watch you cum, I don’t think there’d be anything stopping me from driving over there. Also, I don’t have the headphones right now, so this is better,” he laughs lightly. “You in your bed?”

“Yes,” you answer. “Naked, too.”

“Ooo,” he chuckles, “ahead of the game, I like it.”

You can’t help but giggle, letting out a slow, steady breath as you close your eyes, resting the phone against your ear.

“I want you to run your fingertip around your nipples. Don’t do anything to them, just graze them. Make them hard for me.”

You’re already a weeping mess between your legs, wanting to relieve the growing pressure, but you decide to listen to Joel instead. All you want is for him to have control over you, and you desperately want to please him.

You trace your already hardened nipples, feeling goosebumps raise against your skin as the tip of your nail gently scratches you. A small sigh leaves your throat, your finger moving to your other pearled center.

“Feel how nice your skin is, y/n? So fucking soft, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” you breathe, “wish you were here touching it.”

“Soon, pretty girl. I promise.” His voice is light and soothing. “Spread your legs open, baby. Let that finger go down your stomach, but don’t touch that sweet little slit of yours.”

As your hand moves down your abdomen, your senses are heightened, the feeling of your warm palm against your stomach making your walls clench around nothing.

“God, Joel,” you sigh with pleasure, “how are you doing this? I feel like I could cum just from touching my skin.”

He laughs gently, the sound exhilarating you. “I know how to please a woman, y/n.” You can’t help but bite your lip at his confidence. “Keep caressing your body. I want you to feel how beautiful it is.”

Your palm moves up your side, cupping your right breast as you gently pinch the center that is standing to attention.

“God,” you groan slightly, your head digging into the pillow.

“You’re doing so good, y/n. You listen so well. Now, do you own any toys?”

“Yes,” your bottom lip tucks between your teeth. “Do you want me to get one?”

“No,” he replies. “Now I know if you ever wanted me to use one on you.”

“Joel, I’d let you do anything to me.”

He hums with contentment. “You’re so goddamn hot. I want you to feel how wet you are.”

Your fingers slowly ease down to where you’re spread, instantly feeling the silky arousal coating your skin, making your mouth hang open in shock.

“I’m—” your voice drifts off as you swirl around your swollen clit, letting out a small moan.

“You’re what, y/n? Tell me.”

“I’ve never been this wet in my life,” you whisper, your eyes squeezing together as you continue to rub yourself. “Fuck.”

“Good,” he groans quietly. “Want you to keep circling your clit just the way you are. Doesn’t it feel so good, sweet girl?”

“Yes!”

“Mmm, are you already close?”

“Fuck, yes. I’m so close.”

Joel sighs heavily into the phone. “I wanna hear how pretty you sound when you cum, angel.”

Your entrance flexes as your fingers pick up their pace, rubbing yourself so quickly that your wrist begins to cramp. That euphoric feeling begins to wash over you, your back arching off of your bed as you orgasm intensely, crying Joel’s name out into the phone.

“Such a good girl,” he praises. “Fuck, y/n.”

Thighs shaking and chest heaving, you pull your hand up from between your legs, only now being able to open your eyes.

“If you made me feel that good without even being here, I can’t imagine what being with you will be like.”

Joel chuckles. “I’ll take good care of you, y/n.”

You can’t help but to groan lowly. “I know you will.”

He lets out a large sigh, making you laugh slightly. “I’m so painfully hard that I can’t think straight.”

You giggle again. “You could always come over and I could alleviate your pain.”

“No,” he laughs. “I can’t. I feel bad leaving Sarah with the neighbor all the time.”

“Aw, I understand.” A smile splits your face.

“This weekend she’s sleeping at a friend’s house. We could have our own sleepover, if you’d like.”

“I’d love that.” Your cheeks ache from your incessant grinning.

“I was thinking maybe a date on Friday night?”

“A date?” you ask, trying to hide your excitement.

“Yeah, is that okay?”

“More than okay. I wasn’t sure if you were even interested in dating me.”

Joel guffaws. “Are you crazy? Of course I am. You’re incredible, y/n. Even before you lured me in with steak and cupcakes, I liked you.”

You chuckle, feeling your face burning. “Yeah, I liked you too.”

“So you really did like me when you first met me, and that wasn’t just your horny talk?”

“Yes!” you cackle. “I was engaged to Sam, but I liked you more than him at the time. Now it’s like I hate him, and I’m crazy about you.”

“Crazy about me, huh?” he teases. “I can handle crazy.”

“Well, good. My life is very crazy right now.”

“Ex-fiancés and broken air conditioners aren’t going to push me away,” Joel chuckles. “Maybe only blood-sacrifice-crazy would. But even then, I don’t know. I like you too much already to be bothered by that.”

You clutch your stomach as both of you break out into a fit of laughter. “I’ll try to keep those to a minimum.”

He sniffles, his laughter fading a bit. “I unfortunately have to go. I have to make dinner, but this was—fun.”

“Mmm, I agree; very, very fun.”

“Have a good rest of your night, y/n.”

“You too, Joel.”

The call ends and you still have an idiotic smile plastered onto your flushed scarlet face. Your senses are still heightened, the swollen clit between your legs throbbing and begging for more relief. Everything in you wants to run to Joel’s house and ride him like a mad woman, but you can’t for many, many reasons.

You feel guilty that he’s been seeing you so often and leaving Sarah with the neighbor. And you feel even worse knowing that he feels bad about it. He doesn’t realize what a good fucking dad he is, and that is just another trait of his that drives you crazy. A sweet, thoughtful, loving father who would die for his daughter is a dream, and you know Sarah is aware of how lucky she is.

***

The rest of the week drags by, every day seeming longer and more tedious than the last as you wait for it to finally be Friday. Class seems to run longer than usual, your lunch break feels like hours, and the walk to your car from the school seems like it’s taking centuries.

You pull your vibrating phone from your skirt pocket as you tread against the hot asphalt that is baking you from beneath, while the sun works to cook you from above. Joel’s name makes you smile and cock your head a bit in surprise. Why is he calling you as you’re leaving school? He never has before.

“Hello?” you answer, an obvious grin in your voice.

“Hey, you. I’m still working, but I snuck away to see how your day went. I was figuring you were probably leaving right about now.”

Your heart soars, letting out a timid giggle. “Yes, actually. I’m getting into my car right now.”

“Ooo, giving me a play-by-play. Kinda reminds me of our phone call the other night,” Joel teases, humor twisted into the husky rasp.

“Joel,” you scold with a laugh as your thighs squeeze together, “I’m not even home and you’re already starting.”

He chuckles. “Okay, I’m sorry. I’ll behave. Also, is it okay if I pick you up at seven for our date?”

“I completely forgot about that!” you say sarcastically. “Sorry, can’t make it.”

Joel laughs loudly into the phone, your cheeks burning. “Ah, man. That really sucks. I had this big thing all planned out,” he jests as he keeps up the joke. “Should I call and cancel the jet ride to Paris?” he asks facetiously.

You cackle. “God, can you imagine taking a jet to Paris?”

“Sorry, I don’t have that kind of money.”

“Aw, Joel, I don’t care about money. I just want to spend time with you,” you grin like an idiot as you sit in your car. “Seven is perfect for walking, talking, or Paris.”

He laughs lightly. “You’re amazing, y/n, you know that?”

“I think you’re gonna have to show me how amazing you think I am.”

“I will, I promise,” Joel audibly smiles as he speaks. “Thank you for being so understanding about me not wanting to keep leaving Sarah. It really means a lot to me.”

“Not only do I work with kids for a living, but I’m not going to come between what you two have. It’s so special and unfortunately, kinda rare. Sarah is such a sweet girl and she loves you to death. I don’t want to take you away from her. I’m good with seeing you whenever you want.”

“Perfect words from an even more perfect mouth. Thank you, y/n.” Joel lets out a small, content sigh. “I’ll see you later, petal.”

Petal? You could melt into the leather seat beneath you from the new pet name that Joel has slipped into your ear.

“Bye,” you giggle, hanging up the phone.

The entire drive home, your mind is reeling over the fact that you’re going on a date with a hot dad who calls you the sweetest of names. You miss his soft, skilled lips and the feel of his firm, lightly haired chest against yours. You haven’t seen him since you made him dinner, and that’s genuinely okay with you.

Of course you’d like to see him more often, but this is ridiculously new, and he has a daughter that he’s raising by himself. He’s a wonderful man, and the fact that he actually wants to raise his daughter is another rarity, and nothing but a bright neon green flag to you.

You get home and immediately jump into the shower, shaving your legs and underarms just to feel more comfortable. You don’t bother shaving anywhere else, knowing that nothing penetrative can happen between the two of you yet.

You’ve been obsessively checking your email, always coming up with nothing from the gynecologist. The beat of your heart quickens every time you open the app, refreshing the page several times to make sure you haven’t just missed it.

It’s ludicrous how much you crave this man. Even with your first time with Sam you weren’t as desperate for his body as you are for Joel’s. You know that they’re two vastly different men, but Joel just ignites this fire within you that nobody has ever struck a match to. He’s able to break you down with just his words, making you orgasm quicker than you ever have with anybody, or even alone.

As you step out of the steamy shower, you toss your hair up into a towel, wringing it slightly before wrapping it up into the cotton fabric. You prep your skin for makeup, wanting to go all-out for Joel, but also being worried about going overboard.

Sam would always comment when you’d wear “a lot” of makeup, and you never realized that your want to wear it majorly dwindled. The more you sit and ponder the memories that swirl around in your mind, it dawns on you that Sam has negatively affected you more than you originally thought.

You had already reached your limit with him by the time he broke the news that he cheated on you, but there was more that he did or said during your one year engagement when he changed that you unknowingly brushed off. Your already minuscule self-confidence has been thrown, leaving you a weakened, dehydrated corpse in the land of self-hate.

The thoughts begin to affect your body, a physical reaction blossoming within you that makes your heart begin to race. All you want to do is call Joel for help, but what if you get this feeling once he leaves you, too? What then?

Ways to calm yourself down displays itself in your mind as a short, yet still overwhelming list. You go through the deep breathing, focusing on anything other than your reflection as you attempt to calm the sudden, intense panic.

Your feet carry you as calmly as they can muster to the fridge, grabbing out the remains of your nearly emptied wine bottle. The cork lets out a low pop when you pull it, pressing the cold emerald-tinted glass to your lips, downing the remains of what lies within.

A satisfied sigh leaves your throat, your eyes closing as your pulse begins to dwindle. You’re not an alcoholic by any means, but it has almost always helped you relax when you become panicky. When you figured that out (illegally) at 18, you used it as your own personal therapy session, since actual therapy is way more expensive.

Even just the feeling of the crisp, icy alcohol sliding down your throat is enough to alleviate the anxiety, only because you know that the relief will come soon enough.

There’s a knock on your door after you’ve finished getting ready, fastening the right buckle on your heel before standing off from your bed. The heels clunk quietly on the carpet, suddenly sounding like a freshly shoed horse once you reach the wooden floor of the living room.

You straighten out your silky dress, letting out a steady breath before pulling the door open. The excited, giddy expression on your face falls when you see Sam standing in your doorway.

“Wha—” you hesitate, perplexed, “what are you doing here?”

There’s a solemn sulkiness in his blue eyes, and his eyes are bloodshot to hell.

“Y/n,” he begins, “you look amazing.” His eyes scoop up your body before settling onto your breasts. “Can we talk?”

Your arms cross over your chest, shaking your head at him. “No, Sam. I don’t have anything to say to you. Please leave.”

“Just hear me out!” he yells. “I want you back. I’m so sorry for what I did. I fucked up.”

“No,” you continue shaking your head, reaching for your phone in your purse. “Leave.”

Sam steps inside, his stature looming over you; the tall physique you once loved now terrifying you to your core. “Talk to me.”

“No!” you shout. “You reek of scotch,” you nearly retch. “Get out of my house!”

“It’s my house too, you bitch!”

A numb fear makes its way around your entire body, the flight response in you kicking in, forcing you to turn and run away, locking yourself in your bedroom. Sam bangs on the door, yanking on the knob with such force, you’re terrified he’ll pull it off in one go.

Your trembling fingers press on Joel’s contact, unsure of what a drunk Sam is going to do. You’ve never seen him this plastered, and you’re absolutely petrified.

“Hello?” Joel answers happily.

“Joel,” you say quickly, “Sam is here and really drunk. Please come help me. I’m trapped in my room and he’s banging on the door. I-I’ve never seen him like this, please.”

The line is quiet, hearing some fumbling coming from the phone before the distinct sound of a car door closing. “Are you safe?” he asks flatly.

“Yes, for now. I don’t think he’d hurt me, he’s just acting really erratic.”

“The way he’s acting is uncalled for. I’ll be there in a few minutes. I’m not stopping for any fucking lights or signs.”

The door behind your back shakes as Sam continues knocking against it aggressively, yelling profanities and slurs that you can’t quite make out through the thick wood.

“God, Joel, please be careful,” you say as calmly as you can manage. “You’ll be a lot more help if you get here alive.”

“I’ll be fine,” Joel responds without emotion again.

Your brows furrow, worry swallowing you whole. “Are you mad?”

“Not with you, sweet girl. Be there in one minute. Stay on the phone with me.”

Even though he can’t see you, you nod your head anyway, practicing your calming breaths as you hear tires screeching onto pavement outside. There’s no way that’s Joel, right?

“I’m here. Stay in the room.”

“Okay,” you whisper.

Sam’s violent screaming suddenly stops, everything going completely silent out in the living room. Your apprehension and curiosity get the better of you, your hand gently turning the knob to peak out of your bedroom.

Your eyes blow wide as you see Joel holding a long, black shotgun, pointing it directly at Sam.

“You have about ten seconds to get out of here before I blow a hole in your goddamn chest,” Joel says firmly as he stares Sam down.

He wobbles slightly from the alcohol, his hands up as he keeps his torso faced towards Joel. “Oh, so this is who she’s all dressed up for, huh? How ya doin’, Joel? Enjoying fucking my fiancée?”

Joel cocks the shotgun, resting his finger on the trigger. “Another word, and you’re a dead man.”

You step out of the bedroom more, watching the scene unfold as Sam makes his way to the open front door. “Yeah, yeah. I’m going, tough guy.”

Your eyes follow him, leaving your room as you watch him completely step out of the house past the stoop. He backs all the way up to his car, seeing Joel’s idling black truck lazily parked halfway onto the grass.

Sam peels away, both you and Joel letting out an audible sigh as he disappears. You peer at him through your lashes, feeling even more turned on by him now than before. He de-cocks the shotgun, resting it beside the front door as he closes it gently, turning the lock.

Joel strides towards you, scooping your face up into his hands as he takes your lips firmly against his. “You okay?”

You’re too Joel-drunk to respond, lacing your fingers into his unruly dark hair that’s soft to the touch. Your mouth reattaches to his, his hands on the small of your back, pulling you in closer.

He leans away, gazing down at you. “Talk to me, y/n, are you okay? Did he hurt you?”

You shake your head. “No, I’m fine. I can’t believe you threatened to shoot him,” you let out a small giggle. “Why is that so fucking hot?”

Joel chuckles, kissing your forehead as he holds you at arm’s length. “Let me get a proper look at you now.” He holds your hand above your head, allowing you to slowly turn your body around, feeling like a ballerina in a musical toy box. “Wow,” he breathes out sharply, “you’re so beautiful, y/n. And I love that you’re still wearing the necklace I got you.”

Your cheeks go hot at his compliment, your eyes flicking to the weapon that leans against the living room wall. “That’s not staying here, right?”

He turns to follow your line of sight, quickly shaking his head as he meets your gaze again. “No. I’m sorry if it scares you, it was meant to scare Sam.”

Giggling, you wrap your arms around his midsection. “I think it worked.”

Joel brushes your hair behind your ear, grazing your cheek with the side of his finger. “I’m glad you’re all right, y/n. I was so fucking worried, that I just did what I knew would get him to leave without us having to get into a physical altercation.”

“Mmm,” you hum, “I should hire you to be my big, sexy bodyguard.”

He chuckles, placing a gentle kiss on your lips before pulling away to say, “I’ll do it for free, honey.”

You and Joel leave the house, his left hand carrying the gun as his right is intertwined with yours. He tosses the weapon into the backseat of his truck, opening the passenger door for you. Joel lets out a little grunt as he gets into the driver’s side, flashing you a quick smile before leveling the truck out onto the road.

“So, where are we headed? I think it’ll be hard to top all of that excitement,” you tease, giggling.

“Maybe I got a jet after all,” he snickers. “I want it to be a surprise.”

You nod, picking at your fingers in your lap. “You know, it’s crazy that something so scary just happened, but I feel perfectly safe and happy now. Thank you so much, Joel.”

He reaches over and places his palm on your thigh, giving it a gentle grip before grinning shyly at you. “I’m sorry it happened, but I’m happy that you called me.”

Your flesh sears beneath his hand, your thighs desperately wanting to squeeze together to alleviate the growing ache that you have for Joel between them. He’s intimidated your ex, protected you, and made you feel like a shining star of beauty all within the last fifteen minutes. You’re beginning to believe that you’ll never find someone more perfect.

Everything was such a blur at home, that you weren’t able to appreciate the way Joel is dressed. He’s wearing a black button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up just below his elbows. For his bottoms, he has fitted black slacks that accentuate every perfect outline of his legs, and the thickness between them. Your eyes travel up his body to his face, licking your lips as you admire his still tousled hair that has been tamed only a bit.

Joel catches you staring, a grin forming on his perfect lips. “What?” he asks sheepishly.

“You just are so fucking handsome. I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner, but my god, Joel.”

He laughs loudly, a redness having formed in his cheeks as he squeezes your thigh gently. “Thank you, y/n.”

Joel keeps his hand on your leg until he pulls in to a parking spot that has no buildings surrounding it.

Your head whips around, giving him a curious look. “And now you kill me?” you joke.

He laughs, shaking his head. “It’s just a bit of a walk. The parking across the street from the restaurant is always completely packed, so I wanted to find a nearby parking lot. You mind walking?”

You shake your head. “Of course not.”

Joel walks around the front of the truck, opening your door as he helps you out with his rough, calloused hand. You step down, wobbling a bit from your heels and the step from the door. He chuckles lightly as you begin your walk, the evening breeze caressing your skin delicately.

“Now, I’ve never been here before, but I’ve heard good things about it. It’s supposed to be nice,” he begins, his palm turning clammy in yours, “so, if you don’t like it, don’t blame me,” Joel lets out a nervous laugh.

“Joel,” you tell him gently, “you know that I’m not difficult to please, right? I’m just happy to be out with you. I told you that.”

He shakes his head. “You make me so nervous, and I don’t know why.” He scoffs lightly, “Well, I know why, but it’s frustrating for me. I just want to be calm.”

You stop walking, your feet halting on the sidewalk as you wait for Joel to turn to you. Your hands slide up his shirt, finding their way into the hair at the base of his head. You run your nose gently along his, giving him a soft, lingering kiss.

“You are the most perfect man,” you beam. “You don’t have to be nervous around me. So far, you’ve made me happier in the last week of knowing you than Sam made me in the last year. I promise you that I am crazy about you.” You pull away to gaze into those soft brown eyes that are innocent yet alluring at the same time. “I’ve been feeling a little self conscious myself, and truthfully I was overthinking everything while getting ready tonight. I wanted to wear just the right amount of makeup to please you, and the perfect dress, and I just wanted to be perfect.” You shrug, “I panicked.”

“Oh, honey,” his brows furrow with sympathy, planting a feathery kiss to the middle of your forehead. “You’re already so perfect to me.”

You giggle as your eyes water, trying to hide your sudden emotion. “You can’t be real.”

Joel tilts your head back up to meet your gaze, running his thumb along your cheek. “I’ve thought that about you since I first saw you at the park. What the hell is a woman like you doing with me?”

“Being happy for once.”

The two of you share a sensual, neat kiss on the sidewalk before reluctantly parting to walk towards the restaurant. The outside has a blue and white striped awning that is twinkling with pale yellow lights hanging from the bottom. Vast windows cover the outside, allowing you a clear look into the intimate, darkened setting of the place.

Joel pulls open the door, allowing you to step in first before he follows behind you. He tells the hostess the name for two, and she nods in response.

“Miller for two, please follow me,” she beams as she leaves the stand.

You both trail behind her, Joel’s hand clasped with yours as you’re lead to your table. Your seats are not at all what you’d expect. The entire wall against the windows is covered with a long, u-shaped couch with thick, teal cushions. The tables that aid the couch are a circular dark oak that compliments the atmosphere perfectly.

She leads you to your little corner, Joel gesturing you forward to choose where you want to sit. You land on the apex where the two corners meet, your body being enveloped by the plush cushion behind you. Joel sits beside you where the couch has a wooden armrest to his left that matches the table.

“This is the most comfortable I’ve ever been at a restaurant,” your voice is giddy and high-pitched. “I love it!”

He beams at you, placing his hand on your leg as he leans in to give you a chaste kiss. “I had to reserve these seats. They drew me in when I looked online.”

“They’re perfect,” you laugh lightly.

A server comes over and takes your drink order, Joel ordering a bottle of wine and a water, looking to you for approval before ordering a water for you, as well.

“Are you trying to get me drunk, Mr. Miller?” you jest.

“Just thought the alcohol might make us both a little less insecure,” he chuckles. “And I noticed at your house that you like white wine, so I just picked a random one. I hope you’ll like it.”

“It’s wine,” you laugh, “I’ll like it.”

You open the menu and explore for food options, your finger landing on a steak dish to show off to Joel.

“You already know me so well,” he giggles lightly. “Hmm, let me see about you, let me guess.” You watch as his finger runs across the menu, being briefly mesmerized before he lands on the exact dish you had your eye on.

“Am I really that predictable already? I need to be more mysterious.”

Joel laughs with you, his hand pushing through his hair briefly before connecting his gaze to yours. “I think both of us are too emotionally vulnerable to be mysterious, sweetheart.”

You let out a loud cackle, instantly covering your mouth in embarrassment as you feel your face brighten. “My god, I’m sorry. That was obnoxious.”

His head rolls back as he continues to chuckle, his hand on your thigh once again as he shakes his head. “Absolutely nothing obnoxious about you. Your laugh is fucking adorable.”

As you beam at him with adoration, the server returns with your drinks, offering to pour the wine to which Joel agrees. The man takes your orders, Joel throwing in a last minute appetizer that makes you roll your eyes. The prices here are insane, and you don’t want to be an overly-expensive date. Of course you love being treated like royalty, but you can’t help how guilty it makes you feel.

“Thank you, but you didn’t need to get an appetizer,” you say shyly. “I feel bad.”

He shrugs. “Why? Do you know how often I go on nice dates?”

“No.”

“Never,” he beams. “And I want it to be special because my date is very special to me.”

“Yeah?” your body leans in to his. “My date is very special to me, too.”

Joel’s eyes lower as he gives you a hooded, longing stare, that desire you saw in the pool making itself evident in his gaze.

You feel frozen in place, the heat between the two of you nearly tangible. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?” he asks lowly, his face inching closer to yours. “Can’t I tease you in public?”

A small, hushed gasp catches in your throat, feeling Joel’s hand creep up your leg beneath the silky fabric of your dress.

“Joel,” you let out quietly, your eyes looking everywhere but at him.

“Do you want me to stop?” he whispers, backing away slightly to take a large gulp of his wine.

You shake your head.

“Tell me what you want.” His fingers are nearing your dampened panties, his voice becoming more raspy by the second. “You want me to keep going, y/n?”

“Yes,” you say, barely audible.

The table covers most of your legs, any onlooker only assuming that Joel has his hand on one of them. Nobody would ever think that two people would be so demented as to do something like this in a nice establishment, right?

He brings his wine glass to your lips, giving you as much as you can take before pulling it away, your breath becoming unsteady after you swallow. You can feel his fingertips beginning to pull the fabric aside and off of your weeping core, your eyes briefly fluttering closed.

Joel’s eyes are burning into the side of your head as you worriedly watch for anybody to acknowledge your existence. The slow pace in which he works is only torturing you further, making you lick your lips in anticipation.

His first finger slips easily past your folds, a slight groan coming from his throat. “Jesus christ, angel. Does it turn you on knowing we could be caught at any second?”

Your brows furrow together as you bite your lip, quickly nodding your head. “Yes.”

He tsks, shaking his head as he teases your entrance, not inserting himself inside. “Should I really be calling you angel? Name’s too innocent for you.”

“Joel,” you quietly whine, trying to move your hips to feel his finger inside of you, but he only pulls away.

“Hmm?” he hums. “Somebody watching?”

“No,” you breathe out. “Just want to feel you, please.”

Joel withdraws completely, adjusting your panties before resting his hand innocently back onto your thigh. “I’m sorry, sweet girl. Only wanted to tease you.”

The server returns shortly after with the appetizer, your brain being completely scattered and out of order from the intense arousal you feel. Joel has made you feel embarrassingly deprived and desperate in only a week of knowing him. How the hell are you ever going to survive this man?

He holds up one of the little appetizers for you to try and you lean in, keeping your eyes on his as you take a bite of the food. Your stomach moans in delight, but your libido is kicking and screaming in frustration.

“Good?” he arches a brow as he smirks.

“Very,” you nod, “thank you.” You down a bit of your wine, deciding that two can play at the game that he’s started.

Your hand slides around his thigh tenderly, admiring the firmness and the obvious strength beneath the slacks. A noticeable bulge is at the apex of his pants, making you smile to yourself as you place your palm against it. Joel’s body jerks forward slightly, his fist covering his mouth as he tries to maintain composure.

“Don’t worry,” you whisper, “I’m only teasing.”

You grip him in his slacks, stroking him up and down through the fabric, even going as far as to swirl your thumb around his tip.

“Y/n,” he lets out a quiet, shuddery moan. “I’ll make a much bigger mess than you would. And you drive me so fucking crazy that it’s very possible it will happen.”

“What will happen?” you play dumb, continuing to stroke him. “Tell me, Joel.”

His face has reddened and his breathing has hitched. “You’ll make me cum right here, right now.”

Your walls clench around nothing. “Maybe I want you to.”

“I’m already close, y/n. You get me so worked up.”

“Yeah?” Your hand moves a little quicker, briefly checking your surroundings before continuing to watch him hide his pleasure. “You do the same to me, but I keep getting denied.”

Joel’s lips part as he sucks in a sharp breath, his fists clenched against the table top. “You’re not an angel, baby. You’re a goddamn succubus.”

As his body shudders you pull away, ceasing all contact as you take a hearty toss back of your wine, letting out a content sigh. “Well, this succubus is declaring war.”

His brows are pinched together, his face turned down towards the table as he grunts quietly beneath his breath. “You are unbelievable in all the best and worst ways,” he chuckles lightly, flashing those darkened eyes at you. “War it is, honey.”

After a divine, sexually-charged meal, Joel pays, adjusting himself on the couch as he wraps his arm around your shoulders.

“Did you like everything?” he asks sweetly, placing a kiss on your temple.

“It was delicious,” you beam. “Thank you.”

He grins back. “Thank you for being my date.”

You finish your second glass of wine, watching as the server takes the black book with Joel’s card in it. “And thank you for being mine,” you giggle. “So, where to now?”

“Well,” he begins, “would you still like to have that sleepover we talked about?”

“Yes,” you answer quickly, Joel giggling at your hastiness.

“Your house or mine?”

You hum, thinking. “Well, when will Sarah be back?”

“I’m picking her up Sunday. She’s staying the entire weekend.”

“And you’re not working tomorrow?”

Joel shakes his head. “Not this week.”

“It’s wherever you want. I have a pool, but I’m also a little terrified to sleep there right now because of Sam.”

The hazy, lust-drunk look in his eyes fades slightly, his head bobbing up and down. “Then mine?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

Before Joel pulls out of the parking lot, you leap over the center console, smushing your lips against his. He tastes of white wine and steak, making you moan into his mouth.

“I want you so fucking bad,” you groan, swirling your tongue with his. “I can’t stand to wait anymore.”

Joel moans quietly, his hands all over your back as yours stay rested on either side of his face. “I want you, too. We can always just use a condom, y/n. I don’t care.”

“No,” you shake your head. “I want to feel you.” You slide your hand to the middle of his pants. “I want to feel all of you.”

He groans, reattaching your lips hastily before pulling away to press his forehead to yours. “Then we’ll wait,” he breathes.

You let out an exasperated groan as you settle back into your seat, buckling yourself in as Joel lets out a playful laugh.

“You can’t be bratty at the decision you made, y/n,” he giggles. “That’s not how that works.”

“Yes I can!” you laugh, playfully shoving him. “You just make me feel so fucking—”

“Depraved?”

“Yes! Exactly.”

“Yep. Exactly where I’m at with you too, honey.”

You squirm a bit as Joel begins to drive back to his house. “I really liked when you called me petal,” you say lowly. “I’ve never been called that before.”

“Really?” he beams proudly. “It’s nice to know that I’m the first to call you that. I’ve never said that to anyone before, it just kinda came to me.”

“It was so hot,” you laugh. “I love all the pet names, but that one’s my favorite.”

“I’m glad you told me,” he places his hand at his familiar spot against your thigh, “I can use that to my advantage.”

Back at Joel’s, he unlocks the front door and you are guided in by his hand, stepping in awkwardly as you turn to watch him come in after you. He walks to the kitchen table and places the keys down, beginning to slide off his shoes.

You bend down to unbuckle your heel, but Joel’s voice stops you, making you stand to watch him stride across the house to you.

“Let me,” he says gently.

The man gets onto his one knee, raising your dress above your own knee as he places your foot onto his thigh. He gives you a soft smirk before focusing onto your heel, gently sliding it off before doing the same with the other.

You know that he can clearly see up your dress this way, but he doesn’t even glance between your legs, and you’re not sure if you admire how much of a gentleman he is, or if you’re frustrated that he didn’t steal a perverted look at you.

He stands, silently taking your hand as he shows you where the bathroom is, then his bedroom. The room smells completely like him, and you want to be enveloped in this scent forever. He has a large bed off to the right that is paired with two matching night tables on either side.

You suddenly have a sinking, icky feeling inside thinking about how one side of the bed used to be his wife’s. You know that it’s been a long time and that he’s allowed to move on, but you can’t shake the guilt that’s churning into panic in your chest.

Your hand strokes the necklace that rests on your chest, clutching it tightly as you’re reminded of your mother’s passing, and how it hasn’t gotten any easier. How could it have possibly gotten easier for Joel?

He has his back turned to you, unbuttoning his shirt and shrugging it off his shoulders. The clothing flies across the room, swishing into a laundry basket that has a few other things in it.

Joel finally looks to you, his grinning face falling to worry in an instant. “Y/n? What is it? What’s wrong?”

You shake your head, the panic nearly taking over your ability to speak. “I-I’m sorry. I don’t think I can sleep here.”

“Okay. Of course, baby. Let me take you home,” he says softly, giving you a soft kiss on the forehead before turning away to retrieve another shirt from his closet.

“I’m sorry,” you apologize again. “It’s just—” your eyes linger on the bed, nearly feeling like you can see another woman gazing back at you.

Joel pulls on a t-shirt, placing his hands on either side of your face to gain your attention. “Talk to me. What’s bothering you?”

“I can’t sleep where your wife slept, Joel. I feel so guilty.”

His eyes soften, a small grin creeping onto his face. “Y/n, you’re the most considerate, incredible woman.” He kisses your forehead again. “My wife never slept in that bed.”

You blink up at him. “She didn’t?”

“No.”

“But why?”

Joel smiles. “She told me she wanted me to move on after her, and she didn’t want me to be alone for the rest of my life. It took a few years, but I finally decided to start dating again. Even though nothing ever went anywhere, I still had the thought that if I ever slept with another woman again, I didn’t want it to be in the bed I shared with my wife.” He gestures behind him to the vast bed. “So, if you’d still like to stay, you would be the first woman to ever be in that bed.”

You want to cry. You want to burst into tears and apologize for being such an idiot, but also thank him for being the most understanding man on the planet. Instead, you wrap your arms around his neck, kissing him neatly with your fingers in his hair.

“How are you so perfect, Joel? Were you made in a lab?”

He cocks his head back slightly as he laughs, your eyes on his throat. “Yes. There’s some very perfect Joel-like rats out there that they tested on first before they made me.”

You giggle, leaning up to kiss him again. “You’re such a goofball.”

“Yeah, and you love it.” He pulls you in with his hands drifting down your back. “Do you still want to stay the night with me?”

You nod, raising your arms above your head. “I can’t sleep in a dress.”

Joel chuckles, bunching your dress up on the sides with his hands before he pulls it off, tossing it across the room once you’re free of it. His eyes stay fixed on yours, even though your breasts are exposed to him. He raises his arms, making you giggle as you slowly pull his shirt up, running your hands up his sides to slide it off.

His hands cup your breasts, his lips gingerly pressing to yours as he moves his hands in slow, kneading circles. The sensation isn’t as much arousing as it is therapeutic, like a massage. You let out a satisfied hum as your head rolls back, Joel purposefully massaging your chest now.

“Will you lay down for me?” he asks quietly.

You open your eyes and nod, climbing onto the bed to lay on your back until Joel guides you to your stomach. You hear his slacks being kicked off before you feel his weight pressing into the bed, his knees straddling your thighs as he leans down and places a gentle kiss at the top of your spine.

“Every inch of you is perfect, y/n,” he says between kisses, making goosebumps rise up to your skin. “You’re so soft.” He leans away, his fingers slowly beginning to knead at your back. “How does that feel?”

“So good,” you groan, enjoying the unexpected massage. “Thank you.”

“No need to thank me, petal,” he says quietly, making your thighs press together beneath him. “Just want you to feel good.”

“You always make me feel good.”

He chuckles quietly, his hands sliding down your spine to the very bottom, right above your panty line. You coo at the relief, that section of your back being the part that gives an occasional soreness from sitting at work for too long.

Joel’s thumbs press into you, your hands on either side of your head as you enjoy his sensual touch. You can’t help the arousal you feel from it. It’s Joel, for fuck’s sake.

He leans down moving his hand up your back to rub your scalp gently. “Do you want me to make you cum, petal?”

A small moan makes its debut from your lips, your head immediately nodding. “Yes, please.”

Joel kisses the shell of your ear as his hand moves beneath you, your hips immediately lifting up to grant him access. He doesn’t play games like earlier at the restaurant. This time, he slides into the top of your panties and begins to rub your swollen clit in circles.

Your hands squeeze at the bed, gripping it tightly as you let out a choked groan. “Please don’t tease me this time, Joel. I can’t handle it again.”

“I won’t, sweet girl. The war was over the second I felt how wet you are. You need me, baby, don’t you?”

“Yes,” you moan, his fingers rubbing you skillfully. “So badly.”

“I love to hear you so desperate for me. Makes me feel like a king.”

His erection is pressing hard into your back through his briefs, and all you want is to feel him stretch you.

“Joel,” you whimper, your hips pushing against his fingers, “I want you inside of me.”

“Shh,” he shushes gently. “Enjoy my fingers for now. A few more days and I’m all yours.”

This is reminiscent of when the two of you had phone sex the other day, but this time is way better. Joel is the one touching you, and he’s actually here, his weight on top of you and his breath against your ear.

You groan, squirming beneath him as you feel yourself getting closer and closer to your peak. His fingers speed up, keeping his tight, neat circles against you.

His tongue swipes up your earlobe, nibbling on it gently as he faintly grunts into it. “Yes, y/n. Can tell you’re close by the way you’re wiggling. Let go for me, petal.”

The pet name is the final thing that causes the band in your abdomen to snap, your cries barreling out of you as your walls flutter desperately around absolutely nothing. His fingers keep up their pace until the sensation becomes too much, making you jerk your hips aside. Joel pulls his hand away, your back heaving against him from the intensity of your climax.

“Mmm, so good for me, angel. You listen so fucking well,” Joel praises into your ear, giving the side of your head a gentle kiss. “You feel relaxed enough for bed now?”

You nod lazily into the pillow, your eyes feeling heavy as you slowly turn onto your side, watching Joel lay beside you.

“What about you?” your voice rasps, reaching for his obviously hardened cock.

Joel gently stops you, bringing your knuckles up to his mouth to place his lips against them softly. “This wasn’t about me, baby.” He kisses your knuckles again. “Get some sleep. We have all day tomorrow to do whatever you want.”

You beam at him, your lids sliding closed. “What if I want tomorrow to be about you?”

He chuckles, leaning in and kissing you softly, pulling your body into his. “Good night, y/n.”

“Good night, Joel.”

****

[arielhopepeace]

Part Three

18+ only

Tw: mention of cancer, death, cheating, slight smut, masturbation, age gap

5,500 words

Joel POV

The sun bears down onto my skin, darkening it with its harsh rays as sweat drips from beneath my hard hat. Today is ridiculously sweltering, and honestly making me feel like it should be outlawed to have to work in this type of heat.

My thoughts are enough of a distraction from the fact that I’m cooking out here, though. Ever since I left y/n’s house last night, I haven’t gotten the feel of her body against mine out of my mind. She was so soft, like a cloud that I reached up into the sky and grazed, letting the fog run between my fingertips.

I know that me going out of my way to help her change her locks is just furthering me into the friend-zone with her. It dawned on me that I needed to leave her house once the feeling of needing to kiss her began to build within my stomach, giving me that light tingly feeling of butterflies that I haven’t felt in eons.

Y/n is so effortlessly beautiful, that it makes me feel winded any time I’m around her. I hoped she hadn’t felt my racing heart and trembling hands as we embraced, the close proximity only adding to the apprehension I already had just from being at her house.

My mind was so dead-set on getting to know her, but the more I think about it, the more I realize that it would be inappropriate. Isn’t there some sort of rule against dating a student’s parent? Even if I hadn’t already friend-zoned myself, I wouldn’t want Sarah to get involved and either hate her teacher, or have to suffer with losing her if it didn’t work out.

I’ve never thought this far ahead about a woman since my wife, and I know that it’s because y/n is different. Nobody understands the pain I feel, but she does; and she doesn’t give me the pitiful apologies that are only from the surface, they’re from that deep chasm within, as if she’s sympathizing with her younger self as well.

It’s tiring spending all my time thinking about these fabricated ideas of a woman who considers me as nothing more than a student’s father. I’m honestly incredibly nervous to see her again today, even though every part of me can’t wait to gaze upon her perfectly symmetrical face.

After work, I head to the hardware store, buying everything I need in order to change her two locks. I look ridiculously dirty, and I feel grimy from all the dirt and concrete that has gotten kicked up by my boots. There’s wood shavings in my hair as I check myself in my rear view mirror, doing my best to ruffle anything that doesn’t belong out.

“God,” I groan as I shake my head, knowing that she’s going to look perfectly stunning, and I’m going to show up looking like I rolled in the mud.

I send her a text to let her know that I’m here, noticing that all of her windows, and even her front door is wide open. What the hell is she doing that for in this heat?

As I grab my things out of the truck cab, I jump slightly at the sound of y/n greeting me from beside the open door.

“Shit,” I curse lightly, still stretched into the cab, “you scared me.”

“Sorry,” she laughs sheepishly. “I’m just letting you know that it’s really hot in my house. For some reason, my A/C went out some time last night, and I can’t get a guy out here until tomorrow.”

Closing the door, I lean back, finally meeting y/n’s gaze as my mouth instantly dries at the sight of her. Her hair has been pulled up into a loose bun, and she’s wearing nothing but a black bikini. My cock is immediately awake, poking against the prison of my jeans and begging to be let out.

I quickly move the supply bags to in front of me, hoping to shield the ridiculous, embarrassing erection that has popped up.

“Oh, uh, I could take a look at that, too,” I finally answer.

My god, what am I, fucking fifteen?

Y/n cocks her head slightly, “I couldn’t ask you to do that for me on top of the locks.”

“Actually,” I begin as we walk toward the house, “you didn’t ask me to do either. I offered both.”

She giggles from behind me, prompting a smirk to spread onto my face. “Please, let me get you a beer or something.”

I set my things down by the front door, watching as she walks away into the stifling house. My eyes are on her hips, watching them swing side to side, her ass having the perfect bounce to it. Gazing at her doesn’t alleviate the uncomfortable situation in my jeans, forcing me to reluctantly turn my eyes away to focus on the task at hand.

As I begin to unscrew the current doorknob, y/n twists open the beer, sitting across from me in the house as I rest on the doorstep. She places the bottle next to me on the living room floor, my eyes desperately trying to not stare at her chest. I don’t think she realizes how attractive she is, and how attracted I am to her. I’ve never been the type of guy to objectify a woman by any means, I just am dumbfounded by her looks.

“Did you have a good day?” she asks sweetly, her voice so charming and gentle.

“It was so hot today,” I wipe my sweaty forehead on my dirtied shirt. “But yeah, it was okay. How about you? How was school?”

“It was good,” she nods with a small smile. “I’m having the kids write a non-fiction essay for English. Nothing super long, but I just want to know where their writing is at.”

“An essay?” I chuckle. “Sarah will be thrilled,” I tell her sarcastically.

“Actually,” y/n laughs, “she said she was excited. I asked her what she wanted to write about, and she picked you.”

My hands stop their work, pinning my gaze to hers as a smile forces my lips apart. “I’ll never understand why that girl loves me so much, but she makes me feel like the luckiest dad in the world.”

Her face goes soft with admiration, her brows fitted together with a smile on her supple lips. “I don’t think I’ve ever known a kid to love their parent so much. Well, maybe except for me,” she teases. “Some kids in my class don’t even have parents for various reasons. I’ve looked into all of my students, just to make sure I don’t bring up any rough subjects on accident, or maybe in a story.”

I continue unscrewing the knob, beaming wide. “That’s so nice of you, and incredibly smart.”

“Well, you kind of have to be smart to be a teacher, don’t you?” she laughs lightly.

“Oh, for sure. I think you’re the perfect person for that job.”

“You do?”

“Of course,” I chuckle. “You’re overly nice, compassionate, considerate, eager to understand. All the kids love you for a reason, y/n.”

Her hand brushes against my leg, patting it gently just above my knee. “You’re sweet, Joel. What would I do without you filling my head with all of these compliments?”

A sharp, unexpected laugh leaves me. “Maybe you’d have a smaller head.”

She gapes at me as she giggles, smacking my arm playfully. “Oh, shut up. I don’t seem conceited, do I?”

“God, no,” I laugh. “I’m only teasing. You have a perfectly normal shaped head; physically and metaphorically.”

Finally, I’m able to pop in the new doorknob, taking a few sips of beer before resuming my task.

“How do you know how to do all of this?” she asks from beside me.

“Well, working in construction helps, but I also just like to be handy. I’ve done a lot of extensive research on repairs and mechanical things, even cars. I probably could tell you what was wrong with your A/C too since you want to work me to death out here.”

Y/n laughs with her head tilted back. “You’re more than welcome to use my pool once you’re done, it’s where I’m headed to soon.”

“Ah, no. I’m so dirty from work, I’d rather take a shower.”

“You can use my shower, too. Whatever you want, it’s yours.”

If only she were an option. I can’t stop imagining kissing her as I run my fingers across her smooth skin, savoring every push of her lips. Jesus christ, what’s wrong with me? That uncomfortable situation has returned, making me shift in order to shield my tented jeans.

“Has Sam been back?” I ask, deciding to change the subject away from whatever led me to my dirty thoughts.

“No,” she shakes her head. “And I’m glad he hasn’t. I have an appointment tomorrow to get looked at. Hopefully they can tell me that nothing’s wrong with me, because I was up late last night freaking out about it.”

“I’m sorry that you have to worry about that. He’s—” my voice trails off, deciding not to let my personal opinions of him be said. “You just deserve better than that.”

“Yeah, well,” she sighs, “I’ll find it one day, won’t I?”

I nod. “Of course you will.”

After finishing both of the knobs, the sun still has yet to set, allowing me enough light to check out her A/C unit. Y/n follows me, my eyes immediately locking onto the problem before me.

“My god,” I mutter as I crouch down, placing my finger beneath a cut wire. “Somebody cut it.”

Y/n places her hands on her hips. “Cut it?!” she shouts. “Gee, I wonder who would’ve manipulated my house that I have to pay rent for alone,” her voice drips with sarcasm.

“You really think Sam did this?” I ask as I gaze up at her.

“Of course he did,” she shakes her head. “He knows I’d have to pay a ton of money to get it fixed. He’s being spiteful because I kicked him out. I honestly wish I knew where he was staying so I could slash his fucking tires.”

I can’t help but laugh at her foul language, her sudden spark of anger only making me adore her more. “Nah, don’t stoop to his level. I can fix this for you right now for no charge.”

“Joel, please let me repay you somehow. Can you at least let me make you dinner tonight?”

“It’s already almost seven-thirty. Are you sure?”

Y/n nods vehemently. “I’m positive. I haven’t eaten yet, anyway.”

“How about I get this fixed up, go home, take a shower and change, then I’ll come back.”

“Will you bring a swimsuit? I’ll make you steak,” she says in a sing-songy voice.

A small chuckle pushes past my lips. “Sure, fine.”

Y/n does a giddy clap and bounce, her breasts moving in her top and I immediately advert my eyes, standing as I go to grab different tools out of my truck.

“Are you a good ol’ steak and potato kind of guy?” y/n giggles.

I close my truck door, walking back to the A/C unit as I laugh. “Yeah, pretty much.”

“Okay, so steak, potato, beer, and football?”

“Any sport is fine with me, actually,” I laugh. “You make me sound so ‘suburban dad’.”

She crosses her arms. “You are a suburban dad, Joel.”

“Okay, touché,” I chuckle. “Do you think I’m mundane?”

“No!” she responds quickly and with immediate passion. “Why would I want to invite you over for dinner if I thought you were dull?”

“To be polite,” my face splits with a grin.

“You are the furthest from mundane, Joel. I promise you.” She rests her hand on my shoulder, electrifying me. “And how do you like your steak cooked?”

“Medium rare, but really I’m good with anything.”

Y/n tsks at me. “If the hard working man wants medium rare, then he’ll get medium rare,” she giggles. I’ll see you later, okay? I’m gonna start on dinner.”

“Thank you so much, y/n. Really.”

“Please, it’s the least I can do.”

My eyes follow her, admiring the dip in her back and the way her thighs rub together as she walks away, shaking my head in disbelief at her beauty once again, forcing myself to concentrate.

In the shower at home, my right hand grips my hard cock as the other rests against the wall, my wet fingertips digging into the slippery tile. My chest heaves as I pant, feeling so close already just from the memory of y/n in that goddamn bathing suit.

The swell of her ass, the curve of her waist, and the fullness of her breasts all haunt me in the best way. My eyes clamp tightly shut as I groan, wishing it was y/n’s cunt squeezing me instead of my own palm.

“Fuck,” I moan, my balls tightening as my orgasm reaches its pinnacle.

A choked groan catches in my throat, my head thrown back as I cry out into the shower ceiling above, shooting my release down towards the drain. I keep my hand wrapped around myself as I slump forward, feeling winded from the intense rush of euphoria.

I haven’t been affected by a woman this way since high school. Never in my adult life have I been so attracted to someone, that I needed to cum in the shower just to alleviate my pent up sexual frustration. I feel like y/n has put some witchy spell on me that has turned me into this unrecognizable, ravenous, depraved man.

When I’m back in my bedroom, I decide to dress casually, but still attempting to look decently nice. I toss on a gray t-shirt and dark blue jeans, doing my best to tame my hair just a bit. Grabbing my cologne, I spray a little bit onto my neck and chest, rubbing my hands along the fabric to press the mist into it.

Before I leave, I grab my swim trunks, hesitating on bringing a shirt. Will y/n think I’m weird if I wear one? I’m just hyper-aware of my body now that I know what her very recent ex looks like. He’s the type of guy who’s a personal trainer, and I’m the one who guys urge to go to the gym.

Deciding to not bring an extra shirt, I head out the door, knowing that Sarah is probably watching a movie at Mrs. Fredrick’s house next door. I feel a little guilty for dumping her there to be with y/n, but I know neither of them mind. It just makes me feel like a bad father.

As I park in the driveway at y/n’s house, I’m relieved to see that her front door and all the windows are closed. Hopefully that means the air stayed working after I left. I’m not sure why I feel nervous as I walk up to her house with my swim trunks gripped into my palm, but I can’t shake the feeling.

My knuckles gently rap against the metal door, y/n’s voice shouting out for me to come in. I push it open, instantly being greeted by the smell of food that makes my stomach roll over with agonizing hunger.

“It smells amazing,” I say as I approach the kitchen, seeing that she’s still in her two piece, making my neck tense.

“Oh, thank you,” she answers happily as she pulls something out of the oven. “You can have a seat, I’m just finishing up.”

Y/n wobbles a bit, my brows furrowing together. “Are you okay?”

“I may have had three glasses of wine while I cooked, but I promise I’m fine,” she giggles. “Let me get you a beer.”

She glides over to the table, setting a bottle down in front of me before she twists the top off, taking the cap with her. I gulp down over half of the bottle, hoping it’ll settle the nervousness that has made its way into my sternum.

Y/n easily makes her way beside me holding two plates, setting the one with a bigger steak in front of me. “Hope you’re hungry,” she says as she gazes down at me.

My eyes briefly flick down her body, then back down to my plate. “Starving.”

She perches on the chair next to me, smiling brightly before she begins to cut into her meat. “Did you bring your bathing suit?”

I nod, cutting into my ribeye to see a perfectly pink center. “I did,” I chuckle. “The steak looks perfect, by the way.”

Y/n sips at some water from a wine glass, bobbing her head as she swallows. “I told you that you’ll get what you asked for.”

“You followed through.”

Her arms gesture around. “And so did you. My house feels amazing, thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” I smile at her. “I don’t mean to pry, but are you going to be okay here? Like, will you genuinely be able to pay your rent?”

“Oh, yeah,” she nods. “Sam was just being a dick and saying I wouldn’t be able to, but I think I can. I might have to budget a little and stop drinking wine,” y/n laughs, “but I’ll be fine. Thank you, Joel.”

“Well, of course. I wouldn’t want you to be out of a place to live.”

Y/N’s eyes narrow playfully. “Would you have a way to fix that, too?”

I chuckle, shrugging. “I’d find a way.”

“Because you are Mr. Solution To Everything,” she laughs, flashing that impeccable smile. “Forgive me for being a bit tipsy, I got a call from my ex mother-in-law while you were gone.”

“Oh,” I shift, “what did she say?”

“Just that she’s glad we’re not together anymore, and that her Sammy deserved better than me from the start. She said I’m too young and immature for him. The worst part is, she wouldn’t even let me get a word in, so I couldn’t tell her what a fucking cunt she is.”

A shocked guffaw flies from my throat, my eyes widening. “You’re bold when you’ve been drinking.”

Y/n’s palm slaps against her mouth. “I’m so sorry. I keep forgetting that I’m your daughter’s teacher and I can’t just talk to you any way I want.” She places her hand on my arm. “Forgive me.”

“Please,” I scoff, “I don’t care how you talk to me, y/n. You could say anything and it wouldn’t make me think of you any differently.”

Her eyes are on mine, a smirk playing at her lips. “And how do you think of me?”

Is she flirting with me?

Doing my best to remain collected, I smile back at her, dabbing my mouth with a napkin. “Fondly.”

“Hm,” she giggles carelessly, drinking more of her water. “I’m glad my messy life hasn’t made you think that I’m also a mess.”

“No, not at all. I’m just happy I was able to comfort you when you needed it.”

Y/n wiggles in her chair, finishing up her steak before she pushes her plate away. “I have a surprise. It’s not a big deal, and I’m not even sure you’ll like it.”

My brows scoop up with interest. “Okay,” I smile, “show me.”

She leaves the table, walking to the fridge to retrieve a small tray, presenting it in front of me as she returns. In y/n’s hands on a plastic platter are a dozen vanilla cupcakes topped with strawberry icing, as well as a small berry placed in the center of each. They’re so ornate yet delicate and charming.

“My god, those are adorable,” my eyes meet hers. “And they look amazing. You really did too much for me, y/n. I mean it.”

She sets the dessert down on the table, taking her seat again. “I still feel like it isn’t enough. You saved me hundreds of dollars today just out of the kindness of your heart, and I’ve made you dinner and cupcakes.”

I laugh, reaching out my hand to rest it gently over hers. “And it’s all perfect and delicious. You don’t have to do anything else for me, I promise you. You didn’t even have to do anything, anyway. I wanted to help you.”

“Why are you so kind?”

My posture straightens as I blink at her, unsure of how to answer that question. How do I explain that I’d do anything for her because I find her so fucking perfect, without sounding like a lunatic? I’ve known her for three days, and I’d be more than willing to build her a brand new house with my own two hands. What in god’s name has this woman done to me? How has she made me feel such a vast array of emotions in only a few days?

“You’re easy to be kind to,” I finally respond, giving her a soft smile before I continue eating my delicious meal.

After dinner, I’m standing in the bathroom, gazing at my reflection in the mirror. My body isn’t at all where I’d like it to be physically, and I now feel suddenly incredibly panicked about going swimming with my shirt off. The muscle definition I used to have in my stomach is gone, and the lean physique I used to sport is starting to wane, as well. I wouldn’t classify myself as overweight, but definitely out of shape.

Sliding my shirt back on as I let out an uneasy sigh, I leave the bathroom, walking out the sliding glass door to see y/n with her feet in the pool and the tray of cupcakes beside her.

I chuckle as I sit onto the rough lip of the pool, plunging my feet into the warm water. “Cupcakes and swimming?”

She turns to me as she nods. “That whole thing about getting a stomach ache if you swim after eating is a myth, you know.”

“I’m a dad, of course I know,” I laugh, picking up one of the desserts.

My fingers carefully peel the paper back, opening it just enough for my mouth to sink into the soft treat. The strawberry icing bursts in my mouth, being offset by the delectable, mellow, vanilla cake beneath it.

“God,” I groan, “you’re so good at baking, y/n. These are amazing.”

Her eyes are on me as she gives me a small smile. “Thank you. I wasn’t sure what kind you’d like. You seem like more of a chocolate kind of guy,” she giggles.

“When it comes to desserts, I’m not picky.”

She nods, still gazing at me. “That’s good to know.”

I bite into the fresh strawberry at the top, discarding the leafy bits onto the tray along with my empty cupcake wrapper. “Thank you,” I say as I swallow.

Y/n laughs as she looks at me, leaning forward to wipe the tip of my nose with her thumb. “You have frosting on your nose,” she giggles.

She places the pad of her thumb into her mouth, sucking the freshly removed frosting off as she keeps her eyes on me. That arousal she gives me returns, making me shift where I sit, and this time, I don’t have something as restricting as jeans and briefs, only swim trunks.

“I’m gonna get in,” I say quickly, standing to walk to the stairs in the shallow end.

“Are you going to wear your shirt?” she asks with her head cocked.

“Oh, um—” my voice trails off, my eyes adverted away from her gaze, “I’m just more comfortable with it on, I think.”

“Hey, that’s okay,” she says softly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to put you on the spot like that.”

“No,” I laugh, standing near the stairs still, “I guess I’ve just grown to not really enjoy my dad bod.”

Why am I always so painfully vulnerable with her?

Y/n is standing up, the water splashing slightly as she removes her feet from the pool. She walks towards me, giving me a small smile before getting into the water in front of me.

“I wouldn’t judge you, Joel, but please do what makes you the most comfortable.”

Letting out a determined sigh, I slide off my shirt, tossing it aside as I step into the ridiculously warm and inviting water. Y/n walks over to the cupcakes that sit at the edge, gesturing for me to join her and grab another one.

Once I’m beside her, we stay quiet as our eyes are locked, each of us taking a bite of our cupcakes. With a small laugh, I wipe the frosting that has now gotten onto her nose. Setting my dessert to the side, I suck the frosting off my thumb just as she did, seeing if she really has been flirting with me this whole time.

Y/n smirks, taking another bite of her treat as she leaves a bit of the icing at the corner of her mouth. I go to remove it with my finger, but she moves her head away, shaking it.

With just the darkened look in her eyes alone, I know exactly the game she’s playing at. I lean in to her, keeping my breathing even as I swipe my tongue slowly up the corner of her lips. My body feels ignited from my bold move, and her devilish chuckle assures me that that was precisely what she wanted me to do.

I’m suddenly tossing every worry, moral, and negative thought out the window as I eagerly take her lips against mine. Her wet, bikini covered breasts press against my bare chest, her fingers dancing into my hair as I slide my tongue along hers.

I could easily be dreaming right now, and just have a painfully hard dick when I wake up. But I’m not. This is fucking real.

Y/n wraps her legs around my waist, allowing me to hold her beneath the water as my hands drift down to the perfect ass I haven’t been able to get my eyes off of.

“Joel,” she breathes as she pulls away, my lips trailing down her soft, spacious throat. “You’re so hot. I want you so bad.”

“Shh,” I coo, nipping at her flesh, “just enjoy this.”

My mouth finds hers once again, her hands running down my torso to where I’m fully hard for her. I can’t help but let out a small groan at the feeling of her palm against me, my hips involuntarily thrusting up into it.

“I need you,” y/n whines softly. “Please.”

I chuckle, swiping my tongue up her ear before taking the lobe between my teeth. “What do you need me for, hm? Tell me, angel, what is it?”

Her chest heaves against mine, her hand still rubbing against me through my swim trucks. “Everything. I need you for everything.”

My hands move around to the front of her swim suit, lifting the top off to reveal the breasts that I’ve been so desperate to see; to have my mouth on. I carry her over to the steps, setting her down on a higher one as I close my lips around one of her nipples.

She yelps, fisting at the hair on the back of my head. I pull the pearled center between my teeth, gazing up at her to see her hazy eyes meeting mine. I do the same to the other one, my fingers keeping the nipple I just left company by pinching it gently.

“This fucking bathing suit has been driving me crazy all goddamn day,” I rasp, dragging my tongue up her chest to her neck. “You’ve been just begging me to fuck you, haven’t you?”

“Yes,” she answers quietly. “Yes, please. It’s all I want.”

“My god, me too. Thought about that pretty little cunt in the shower before I got here,” I admit, dropping my hand down below the water line to rub her through her bottoms.

Y/n’s head falls back, her body a writhing, panting, half-naked, fucked out mess and I haven’t even been inside of her.

“Did you want me when you first saw me?” I ask as I continue to circle her clit through the fabric.

“Yes!” she cries. “You’re so fucking hot, Joel. I’ve wanted you since I met you at the park.”

Her words fuel the already raging fire within my stomach, wanting desperately to be buried inside of her right now. “Good. I want to keep you this desperate for me.” My fingers stop, bringing them up to adjust her bikini top back onto her reddened breasts.

“What? No, no, no. Please!” y/n begs, gripping at my wrists. “Why are you stopping? Please don’t stop.”

I chuckle, leaning in to kiss her firmly with a quick swipe of my tongue. “A few reasons,” I say between kisses. “One, you’re a bit tipsy and two, don’t you have that appointment to get checked out tomorrow? I don’t think you have anything, but it would be nice to know, wouldn’t it?”

Her brows are furrowed with desperation as she hangs her head. “Oh, my god, Joel. I’m so sorry. I didn’t even think about that.”

“Hey,” I say gently as I pick her chin up to meet my gaze, “don’t apologize, sweet girl. It’s easy to get caught up in the moment.”

“And I’m not too tipsy. The alcohol just helped me make that little jump towards you,” she says with reddened lips and cheeks.

My mouth presses against hers again, savoring the cupcake flavor on her sweet tongue. “I’m glad you did. I just would rather go further when we’re both completely ourselves.” I inwardly kick myself. “Is that stupid?”

“No,” she beams as she cups my face in her hands, “not at all. You’re an amazing, sweet man, Joel. And oh my god, you’re hot as fuck.”

I laugh loudly, gently running my nose along hers. “Yeah? I’ve thought that exact same thing about you since I met you.”

Her eyes run down my body. “And you have such a great body. I really don’t see what you do, but I understand the way you feel.”

“Well, I’m glad you like it,” I chuckle. “I guess I was just comparing myself to Sam and felt—inadequate.”

Y/n rolls her eyes as she scoffs. “Oh, fuck Sam. He was the first guy I was ever with that looked like that, and I promise you that isn’t what first attracted me to him.”

“Really? What was?”

“He was kind and he made me laugh, the looks were just a bonus.”

I chuckle. “And what attracted you to me?”

Y/n hums with a warm grin, wrapping her arms around my neck. “Everything.”

On the short drive home, I have a ridiculous smile that hasn’t removed itself from my face since I left y/n’s. Every single moment about tonight was perfect; from the food, the dessert, the pool, her lips, her body, the way she whined for me, and the compliments she gave me. I couldn’t have made a better night up in my head.

After getting an exhausted Sarah from the neighbor’s house, I tuck her in to bed, planting a kiss onto her forehead before leaving and returning to my bedroom. There’s a text on my phone from y/n, and I open it immediately.

Y/n

10:00pm

Thank you for coming over for dinner, and for stopping what I never could’ve. I’d feel horrible if I gave you something just because Sam is a piece of shit and I can’t control my body around you.

10:10pm

I’m glad you can’t control it around me. Let me control it for you. You’ll find out tomorrow whether or not you have something, so try not to worry. I really think you’ll be fine, but it would just be safer this way. Thanks to you, I have to go stock up on condoms for the first time since college.

Y/n

10:12pm

Joel, are you telling me that you haven’t had sex since your wife passed away?

10:13pm

Is that a turn off for you?

Y/n

10:15pm

Oh, my god, no! I just hope I fulfill your nine year dry spell, is all. That’s a lot of pressure lol. Also, maybe if I don’t have anything, we could go without the condoms? I’m on birth control.

My neck tenses as I imagine feeling y/n in all of her natural glory. A twitch runs to my cock, making my stomach twist with arousal.

10:16pm

Absolutely no pressure. I can already tell that you’re gonna be a lot of fun. And yeah, that’s more than fine with me. Guess the condoms will live to see another day lol.

Y/n

10:20pm

Lol, goofball. Good night, Joel.

10:21pm

Good night, y/n.

****