arielsewhere

[arielsewhere]

[arielsewhere]

hi sierra! do you have any tips for taking pills consistently? i really want to see results like yours but i have really severe ADHD and i keep forgetting doses and i'm worried it's going to affect my transition. hope you have a good day!

You've come to the right place, because I also have really bad ADHD and struggle to take daily pills.

So the primary answer to your question is basically.... I don't take daily pills. I'm on a weekly injection. It's better for a LOT of reasons, but one of them is that I don't have to remember something daily, at a specific time, for my estrogen.

As for remembering to do it weekly, it really becomes a "feel my body" situation. When I'm on an injection day, I REALLY feel the difference. It doesn't feel miserable per se, but it def feels worse than normal in terms of energy and mood. I don't let this be the only indication that I need to inject, but it's my "reminder", at which point I double check what day of the week it is to see if it's my injection day. I'm usually correct.

And honestly, this is actually pretty similar to how I built a lot of habits. I used to struggle with hygiene as a teen, especially brushing my teeth. Instead of trying to force myself into a routine, or doing things at a particular time, I started getting more "aware" of what it felt like when I didn't do those things. Eg, for a while, I started really consciously thinking about what my "dirty" teeth felt like, and over time this became a general sense of awareness that made me refuse to go to sleep or set out to start my day with that feeling.

This worked for estrogen as well. It's much harder to feel it with daily pills, and those have more annoying everyday timing, but for a weekly injections, it's okay to have some inconsistency of exactly when the injection happens during an injection day.

Similarly, I use progesterone to help me sleep now. It's part of the reason I still take it orally, not rectally. If I'm struggling to fall asleep, the first thing I ask myself is whether I've taken my prog, cuz it usually means I've forgotten.

Same thing applies for my extended release Adderall. There's stark differences between how my body functions on Adderall vs off of it. I use that to asses whether I need to use it.

[arielsewhere]

[arielsewhere]

trans women specifically are so hated that getting mistaken for a trans woman is dangerous. thank god all of us can clear up that we aren't trans women to defuse that tension a little bit, thank god we can all fall back on not being trans women when it comes to legal matters. imagine if you couldn't do that. sure would suck if there was a type of person who couldn't do that. glad none of us are like that though.

I'm Glad We're All Equally Susceptible To Being MISTAKEN For Trans Women. Truly We Are All Faggots In The Eyes Of The State.

[arielsewhere]

to be fucking honest. i'm starting to view it as a big red flag when queer people don't have the media literacy to tell when a character is making fun of trans women. i'm sorry that man in a dress crossdresser joke is not queer rep it in fact thinks trans women are laughing stocks

[arielsewhere]

I absolutely agree that transmasculine people face different problems than transfeminine people, hmm I wonder if we could come up with a word to specifically describe the transphobic issues that transmasculine people have to deal with, perhaps something including the word trans and, like, a greek syllable meaning masculine, or something

surely such a word would be seen as a good thing to have at ones disposal to talk about one's own oppression

hmmm

This is a bad faith ask, but I guess it's as good a place as any for a ramble. I hope it's coherent.

First off, I feel like my blog is getting lumped into a lot of other blogs as a "trans woman who talks about transmisogyny" and points are being ascribed to me that I never really said. I respect them a lot, and I follow them. But I'm an individual person with my own nuanced opinions on the topic.

Also, yes, this will largely be a nitpicky terminology post. It's a a rambling societal analysis from someone with a STEM background. Don't call this "infighting". To be blunt, if you get riled up by this, that's on you.

Here's what you need to understand: transmisogyny is not called transmisogyny because it's transphobia affecting trans women. Transmisogyny is called transmisogyny because it's the manifestation of existing misogynist biases and talking points, applied to trans women. Creating the term "transandrophobia" as an equal foil to it is implying existing, pervasive androphobia against cis men.

Per the original use of the terminology (I'm literally just poorly summarizing Whipping Girl here, which is basically transfeminism for dummies), transmisogyny exists because of two related, but distinct deeply ingrained biases of misogyny:

One, the societal belief that male/man and female/woman are separate categories with a MASSIVE, uncrossable rift between them, and are intrinsically different as completely separate biological or theological categories (this is termed oppositional sexism)

Two, with respect to these two categories, men and masculinity are superior to women and femininity.

Transgender women assault both of these points to create a massive reflexive disgust reaction in a misogynist. One, they break down the barriers between men and women. And two, they provide examples of somebody "choosing" womanhood, and being uplifted and empowered by it. The first point is something we share with trans men, but let's hold on to that point for a moment.

As I've said before, transmisogyny then manifests as a property of this reaction. The second point leaves people scrambling to think of "alternate explanations" for a trans woman's transition- leading to false accusations about why trans women want access to women's spaces, that trans women are fetishists, and that trans women want to "cheat" in women's sports.

Does this mean that trans men don't have unique struggles, or that we shouldn't fight for transmasc's struggles? Of course not. However, these struggles are not an emergent property of a societal hatred of men.

Instead, a lot of what trans men face feels to me like repackaged misogyny. THIS IS NOT SAYING THAT TRANS MEN ARE NOT MEN, OR THAT ALL TRANSMASCS ARE ACTUALLY WOMEN. This is an acknowledgement that misogyny is a system of biases that aims to create a patriarchy. Those biases have the goal of male superiority, and oftentimes, hit trans men as well- because a system that needs to tell men that they're "biologically superior" is one that can never allow an "inferior" person to put themselves in that category.

Eg: trans men are often forced into positions where they're treated as women, often violently. This is to maintain the separation of men and women, and to assert men as superior. Trans men are affected by reproductive health regulations written to suppress women, sexual violence intended to suppress women, etc.

Some of these mechanisms often also affect trans women. Particularly sexual violence and sexualization.

And some don't. Some are genuinely unique to transmascs. And if you want to use the word "transandrophobia" to describe all of them in one go, then sure I guess. It's not a huge deal, but you have to acknowledge that we're talking about something almost entirely different at that point. But, if you're portraying trans androphobia as the genuine one-to-one equal of transmisogyny, with the same roots and same usage, you're also saying that societal androphobia exists. Which, to be frank, it does not- as a societal force. I'm sure you have a cousin or a great aunt that genuinely believes in some kind of matriarchal state, but c'mon. They're not mainstream in any political movement, no, not even TERFs.

Talking about transmisogyny isn't about erasing trans men's issues, it's about recognizing the misogynist roots of transphobia to more accurately hold fast against it, find solidarity with other feminists, and restructure communication to people outside of our movements.

And yeah, I am going to uplift trans men, and talk about issues affecting them. Saying I don't is ascribing a lot of things to me that I'm not saying.

This is the dignified part of my response. I'm typing my more irate, hysterical thoughts here, but I genuinely hope this opens some respectful discussion.

Part 2 of this post will be what I'm mad about, and what my frustration is.

[arielsewhere]

I'm gonna keep the other post civil.

But fuckit, here's the thunder dome post. Here's the poorly articulated pop off. If you want to fight me, fight me in the notes here, let's get our online arguments out of the way and then we can all go back to actual action and survival and community building (you are doing that, right?)

But anyways. Here's the fucking deranged tranny rant about how many people, including transmascs, are talking about transmisogyny:

I'm frustrated by the absolute, sheer REFUSAL of people to realize how misogyny affects trans women, and the silencing that comes with it. Too often I've seen trans women talk about a specifically trans woman issue, only to be hit with a "they hate all of us equally". Maybe they hate us all equally. I don't have a fucking hatred measuring meter stick. But they don't hate us all the same.

And so when I talked about that bathroom issue. When I talked about the annoying as fuck joke about "Oohh look at me I'm a big hairy trans man going into the woman's room where the transphobes want me!" And I told trans men to stay out of it for a moment. It came from a place of "for the love of fucking God let trans women talk FOR FUCKING ONCE without being talked over here". The sheer impossibility to convey the idea that women's spaces are the ones policed was fucking infuriating. People pointed out the example of a trans man being arrested in a bathroom- failing to mention that IT WAS A WOMANS RESTROOM!!!

And I just. I don't fucking know. Somewhere along the way, trans men also started claiming "erasure" and "lack of representation" as uniquely transmasc issues that trans women will never know and I'm like ???? Where the FUCK are you seeing these waves of genuine trans women voices in the media. Because I see some- and I also see transmasculine voices, in the news, on social media, arguing in front of the Supreme Court.

And then I don't see trans women. I see clowns. Clowns in dresses for cis people to laugh at. I see men in dresses representing something that is not trans, so we can be a laughing stock.

And somewhere in the whole mess, I just want to scream: FUCKING LISTEN TO US. The important point here is NOT about whether trans androphobia exists or not. It's that there is SO. FUCKING. MUCH. That trans women are going through that we can't even talk about, partially because it's so far fucking down the "Todo" list of activism.that it doesn't even seem like it matters, and partially because NO ONE WILL FUCKING LISTEN TO US

And look. I get it. Transmascs arent listened to either. I know. I've seen it happen to my friends in real time.

But no one. Fucking NO ONE. Is prepared for the sheer level of punching down and sheer DISGUST that people have towards trans women. This isn't an oppression Olympics. More what I'm talking about is that people DONT THINK TRANS WOMEN ARE AFFECTED BY MISOGYNY DAY TO DAY, and YES this has affected me in the workplace and in my daily life so this is not me being terminally online, fuck off. The sheer lack of support trans women have for condescension, discrimination, sexual violence, because we are EXCLUDED FROM SUPPORT NETWORKS THAT UPLIFT WOMEN AGAINST MISOGYNY is INSANE. My cis friends have seen it happen to me a few times, and are fucking FLOORED every time.

Many people don't believe I can get sexually harassed. Until they see it happen. People don't think that men are treating me with the sexism they treat other women with in professional environments. Until they see it happen. People don't believe my experiences with SA. Until I show them the evidence.

And I hear you screaming "Sierra that's how all women are treated no one believes women" AND THATS MY FUCKING POINT

But people are unpacking how they listen to cis women, and haven't made it to trans women yet

So yeah, sometimes it isn't about trans men. Sometimes it isn't "they hate all of us". Sometimes trans women need to actually talk.

Also, counterintuitively, this and everything in my other post are why I fucking hate TME and TMA. They completely reduce and obscure what transmisogyny is actually about. Not only do they separate trans women from being affected by frameworks of misogyny that have existed for longer periods of time, it also frames transmisogyny as a unique thing that is an inherent property of transfemmes that can't be avoided. When it should be fucking unpacked and addressed. This is super fucking nitpicky, but if I see "TME" in your bio, it's a little message to me about how you're more concerned about using the right acronym or right words as opposed to actually unpacking your relationship to transmisogyny as a societal force. PLEASE just call yourself transfemme or transmasc instead of TME or TMA. I guess that's not important in the whole grand scheme of things but fucking seriously, it just seems childish.

[arielsewhere]

[arielsewhere]

Hey another reason why I think transmisogyny is an important word:

We need solidarity with cis women, including cis feminists. Trans women really need it. Especially in small, day to day ways, you need to find the cis women who can help you stand up to misogynistic men. Often, I find trans women self isolating themselves from cis women, and missing out on survival strategies necessary for navigating a patriarchal society. Understanding your oppression as misogyny is a good step in alleviating that. It will help other women fight for you, and help you figure for other women.

[arielsewhere]

i wish i could see this picture for the first time again

[arielsewhere]

thanks for your explanation about the roots of transmisogyny and ergo why transandrophia doesnt make sense as a counterpart - found that explanation enlightening.

as a trans man, there’s another piece to the misogyny ive faced that maybe you have thoughts on? since i was raised and treated as a woman for the first two decades of my life, i was often considered less capable or less worthy of awards/promotions/etc just for being a “woman”. now that i pass, i experience male privilege, but underneath that, i still have all the setbacks of 21 years of misogyny (setbacks that my trans sister, for example, never faced. not trying to play oppression olympics here to be clear!). so i have male privilege in the present moment but not the snowball effect that cis men have.

anyway, i appreciate your clear and thoughtful breakdown of how these structures of oppression operate, and am interested in any thoughts you might have on this angle

So yeah, these are thoughts I've grappled with a lot, and honestly get really personal. They're also thoughts that I talk to a lot of cis women about, and is a reason why I think it's important for trans women to have more solidarity with cis women.

Misogyny does affect trans women pre-transition, let's be clear. Vilification of feminity and being branded as "faggotgender" are manifestations of misogyny as well, and trans women will often have this experience. I was, and the series of incidents that I consider my worst interactions with transmisogyny were actually technically pretransiton, when I was questioning and tepidly telling people that.

With that out of the way, that experience is MUCH different than what most transmascs and cis women go through. One compare and contrast I've made with some cis friends is their first experiences with sexualization. I was first nonconsensually approached and followed by a man in public when I was 26 years old. For my cis friends, it was as early as 11.

That does shit to you. That's trauma inducing. I'm not going to deny that it is, because that would be horrifying.

Cis women have also had to deal with exactly what you said: not being taken seriously as a professional for years. Trans women don't necessarily have that until they transition.

The flip side of this, however, is that trans women face misogyny in ways that are far more silent and isolated than cis women.

Alongside their horror stories, my cis friends have also told me of the support: mothers, sisters, friends, community members, older women who protected them, pulled them aside, gave them love and sympathy, attacked the men who targeted them, and gave them advice on how to keep their head up in the face of sexual danger and professional sexism.

Trans women, more often than not, get none of that.

There was no one to defend me or sympathize with me the first time I got sexually assaulted. No one believed me when I noticed people rapidly taking me less seriously after I socially transitioned. No one believed that I was "enough of a woman" to get catcalled.

Slowly, over time, that changed. But it changed because I had open and honest conversations about it with people- and I would say I have a strong network of friends and supporters now, precisely because I've engaged with the different ways this has affected us.

It's all a balance. I'm not doing anything oppression Olympics here, and neither are you! These are important experiences to compare and contrast. In fact, let's take that lack of support I mentioned: the first people I started getting support from, were the same cis women telling me those sorties. Breaking down the barriers, talking openly about how to navigate a misogynist world, and restating that yes, the force we're feeling is misogyny is a super important thing to bring into your day to day life.

Bit of a personal pontification and guilt under the cut.

This cuts at a bit of guilt I've been feeling recently.

I graduated high school as a man.

I got admitted to my undergrad as a man, and started research there as a man.

I got my Bachelor's of Science as a man.

I got my first Masters of Science as a man.

I was admitted to a PhD program as a man.

I transitioned.

I dropped out as a woman.

I've felt a lot of complicated feelings of failure and guilt around this. They're deeply rooted to other parts of my life too personal to talk about on tumblr. But... Yeah. This is all part of it. And yeah, I do see how I was propped up in the past, and how much of that I've lost.

Along the way, I had a lot of silent oppression as well. But I still don't talk about those, and to the world, it still looks like I became a woman and immediately crumpled. What kind of message does that send?

Idk. I know this is dumb. But yeah. Shit sucks.

[arielsewhere]

HEY

so if you know someone who went to the LA protests today no you don't actually! All of those people have no identity. You've never been to a protest, you've never seen someone at one, and you certainly have never known the names or faces of any individuals associated with the protests.

[arielsewhere]

Hey don't cry, okay? We just found Attenborough’s long-beaked echidna, a species thought to be extinct for the past 60 years.

[arielsewhere]

Making another post for a new fundraiser that only has 2 donations.

This family has 3 children aged 2-9, and their father is struggling to keep them safe and provide for them under hellish conditions in Gaza.

They have only had 2 donations & the most recent one was sent 4 days ago

( VETTING: #624 by Gazavetters)

[arielsewhere]

[arielsewhere]

we need to bring back vintage swimsuits but specifically mens swimsuits

make 👏 men 👏 wear 👏 hotpants 👏 and 👏 onesies👏 again 👏👏👏