arkin-oconnell

[arkin-oconnell]

“ probably. Is there ever a right time to have a kid though ?” Arkin noted. He didn’t take the honestly and bluntness in a negative way. Tough love had sort of been the only way he was able to function after his whole situation a year ago.

And judging from his own shitty childhood, the way him and his siblings were planned as an attempt to save a failing marriage proved that you could be planned and still not wanted. He got lucky in that he loved Sterling with his whole heart and was in a place where he genuinely wanted to try.

“ I'm not sure what the real saying is either “ he admitted before shrugging. “ oh I know I’m a fuck up. I’m not pretending I’m something I’m not, but im trying to do the right thing. It’s sure as hell not a lot or some miracle but it’s better than what I grew up with”

“ Hell I expect I’m gonna suck sometimes. That whole being a parent thing doesn’t have a set list of rules to follow. Even if I think that’s the right thing from what others tell me; it might not be what works with my kid. I’m gonna keep trying to figure out what he wants and needs most of all” he noted before a small laugh left his lips. “ I can’t imagine my midlife crisis being more embarrassing than my early 30s " Arkin mused for a moment and glanced back at Scottie. It was definitely some tough and cynical words but he didn’t fault her for it. After what he'd been getting, he needed to hear the other sides. Sometimes you needed to hear harsh truths especially when he sometimes felt like people approached him like he was made of glass. “ I don’t know if you wanna hear that again. But everyone has been giving me a lot of like nice and pretty words about this whole thing. Like it’s nice and all but hearing the whole matter of fact thing? It gives perspective. Down the line if you ever wanna knock reality back into me again with something else, I wouldn’t be mad”@scottienolan

"The it probably wasn't the best timing to have a kid," Scottie answers honestly, though some of her own history may have been bleeding into her cynicism.

Being raised by a woman who couldn't even take care of herself when the fate of her children depended on it tended to give a warped perspective.

"But oh well, I guess. Can't put Pandora's cat back into the box or whatever that fucking saying is," she scoffs as she takes a drink.

At the mention of her honesty, Scottie shrugs a shoulder like it was no issue.

(It wasn't. She couldn't have sugar-coated her perspective if she tried.)

"Well, I'm not about to paint an apple and tell you it's an orange. And even if by some miracle by god you're the best father in the world, you're still gonna suck sometimes. You could get a divorce or have a fucking mid-life crisis that embarrassing as fuck. There's no such thing as a perfect parent."

@arkin-oconnell

[arkin-oconnell]

Arkin wasn’t sure what to expect when he opened the door to Addison. He could think there were a few options but like his own way of being; his twin was full of surprises. “ it’s not the bat onesie I’ve been trying to get you to buy right? “ he asked glancing to her. “ it’s something cowboy? Cause Montana ?” @addisonxoconnell

closed for @arkin-oconnell

location: sterling and arkin's house

Addison quickly knocked on the door with her own excitement beaming through with the current surprise she had in her hand. If it was up to her, the trip to Montana would've lasted a month long but... She felt guilty for leaving her siblings. "Hi! I bet you can't guess the newest outfit for Kai." She greeted once the door was opened.

[arkin-oconnell]

Arkin still felt a lot of things that were left unsaid between them. Not in the romantic sense by any means. He knew what he felt about Iris was long gone and it had been that way since he left for LA. It was the hurt. The underlying current of some sort of pain that he still felt when it came to them. The idea in his head that no matter what he did in this life or the next; he’d never be good enough. It was like he spent his whole career trying to prove that he was someone; someone worth remembering. And it got him there. It just got him a few nasty habits in the way that nearly killed him in the process as well. He may have been clean and sober but being an addict was always there. Just like how he’d moved on from the last but the pain of that time still lingered. It was never really ever gone.

Though he appreciated the peace that was between them. He could talk to Iris and not want to lose his damn mind like he thought he would. “ yeah this town really never knew how to mind their own business did they? “ Arkin noted shaking his head. It was those voices that started to pull at him over the years. He came home and they came back only this time it was about his relationship with Sterling. He’d do his damndest to protect her from his own bullshit. “ I thought it would have been weird. You’re not only the only florist in town but the best. I wasn’t gonna give Sterling less than she deserved because I’m being an idiot “ he admitted. He did feel quite a bit silly though when it came down to it

Everything felt more serious though as soon as Iris brought up exactly why she asked him here. Arkin wasn’t a fool though he was good at playing one ; he could tell something was up and something was wrong. As soon as he was shown an image of a teenage girl; Arkin wanted to jump outside of his skin. He went silent for a moment as Iris explained things and he was processing things the best way he could; by not trying to freak out. The way she had mentioned her age so specifically. It’s not like she’d bring him here to see some kid she had with someone else. “ what the fuck is this?” Arkin asked glancing at the picture. The shock evident in his voice. He looked at the picture more closely. She looked almost exactly like Iris, but the eyes were showing someone else. Eyes he saw everytime he looked in a mirror. He glanced up at Iris and didn’t know what to say. “ please don’t tell me that, she’s -“ he paused before the words could come out. “ are you telling me we have a kid out there?" @theirisxalderidge

Like I never thought anything that could be half me would be perfect. That single sentence hit Iris like a shot, quite literally stealing the breath out of her lungs. She never knew their daughter, but from the smattering of photos she'd seen of her, all Iris could ever think was that she was perfect. And every time she thought that, it sent an ache racketing through her, a longing so profound it made her feel like she couldn't breathe, couldn't think beyond the guilt and the regret that flooded over her.

So Iris rarely, if ever, allowed herself to think those thoughts.

But with Mother's Day having come and gone, her first without her mother, Iris had allowed herself the moment of weakness, had allowed herself to search up the names of the family that were engrained in her psyche, even if she'd never see them again, the couple who'd adopted her baby and had so clearly loved and raised her so, so well. Probably better than Iris herself ever could.

Realizing she'd gotten lost in her head Iris cleared her throat gently, trying to just....to just focus. "Th-That's good. I'm glad she's doing well. Her and...and your baby." And when the conversation briefly had a moment of levity, Iris clung to it. "Because I have all my mother's old files. Liza Levin's orders went from monthly or so to far, far more often. And we both know how small this town is, how people talk. Didn't take long to know you were with her sister." There was no anger in her words though, no malice or jealousy. She was over all the feelings she had for Arkin, and she was genuinely happy for him if he'd found peace and happiness with another....even if, in an ironic twist, Sterling Levin had more money than her own family did. She thought of the letter Arkin had left her with, how he'd said he'd used her..well.....she just hoped it wasn't the same situation now. It was another thing she didn't want to think about.

"Look, Arkin, I...." She didn't know how to end her sentence, how to truly start this conversation, how to change his life forever. She swallowed what felt like acid in her throat as she opened her phone again, her fingers a bit shaky as she tapped to her photos and to the screenshots she'd taken, coming to a photo of their daughter sitting on a bench with a little boys besides her, brothers most likely, and the loving couple who'd adopted her. There was even a dog at their feet. She zoomed in a bit on the girl, smiling brightly...looking a lot like Iris did as a teenager. Iris' breath came out shakily as she put the phone down and then turned it, pushing it over towards him. "She's the reason I asked you to meet me today." Iris stated, another shaky exhale leaving her. "H-Her name is Olivia....I....I think it is anyways. That's...what I named her. When...when she was born. Almost sixteen years ago."

[arkin-oconnell]

There was a certain fear that Arkin carried with him when he went to see Iris again. In that way where you know it had to be serious when someone so specific to your past was calling. He knew it couldn’t be good because for so long Arkin held onto this weird belief that he was never going to be good enough. it was based on what he had felt that night. Pain from when you’re that young had a way of staying buried within you for a long time.

He may have had a life now that he was proud of to the point where Arkin worried he didn’t deserve such good things. Like he didn’t deserve the family he had now or to have any good things. That was the way his pain as a teenager still had him wrapped up as an adult. It was why Iris reaching out to him made him so confused and worried. They weren’t friends anymore so what did she have to tell him?

“ I mean how often do you get calls like this from an ex? It’s pretty worrying “ Arkin admitted with some humor to his voice. He was trying to relax but he also felt like he shouldn’t be super comfortable right now. He sometimes still didn’t know how to act around Iris. There weren’t any feelings there other than some residual hurt. It made how he talked to her complicated. “ the babies great. I don’t know but he’s perfect. Like I never thought anything that could be half me would be perfect. I’m never sleeping but I kind of love that. It makes me feel useful. “ arkin admitted. He loved being a dad. Her loved sterling so much. He loved the little family they had formed together.

“ she’s good. She’s amazing. I’m always trying to be available to her if she ever needs anything “ he noted. He knew his girlfriend had been left when it came to sunny. He never wanted Sterling to feel like she didn’t have him to help with Kai. He wanted to be the right partner for her even if he felt like a screw up so often.

It was Iris’ next comment that had Arkin a little gagged and his face changed into one of surprise. “ uh shit “ he replied laughing. “ how the hell did you know I was doing that?” He asked glancing back to her. “ I thought it was weird to buy flowers for my girlfriend from my ex. I don’t know; it sounded like a good idea at the time “ @theirisxalderidge

It used to be that the sight of Arkin would send her pulse fluttering, her heart skipping a beat. Now she just felt a twist of anxiety, nervousness seeping into her bones. It was strange too- thinking about telling him news that would change his life forever, like holding a sort of power she never quite asked for. She didn't even have to tell him--it's not like anything could (or should) be done. Olivia wasn't theirs. She'd signed all rights away to her daughter before she was even out of the womb...she wasn't her mother- and Arkin wasn't her father. She didn't have to tell him, didn't have to throw this wrench into what seemingly was a good life now.

But he deserved to know. Even if he never met her...he deserved to know he had a daughter.

"Sorry, I....I didn't mean to worry you. Especially right now. H-How's the baby? Kai, right?" Iris worked next door to the bakery, so it wasn't hard to overhear about the latest little Levins in town. "And Sterling? I um..I hope she's okay? Postpartum and all." Iris herself had been forced to go through it all alone. No partner and no baby to show for it. She felt another pang then, knowing that if things had been different all around, Arkin probably would've been there. They would've probably kept the baby.... But then Iris wouldn't have ever gone to New York. Arkin would've never become a movie star. His letter, her being sent away, spending over the last nearly twenty years hiding this all... Life...turned out how it was supposed to, even if it'd been filled with pain to get there. "You should stop by my shop sometime soon, get her flowers. You know, instead of sending her sister in to do it."

[arkin-oconnell]

Babe 🌸:What have you been thinking about a lot recently?

" That's so crazy that you assume I think about anything. Because since having Kai, pretty much every waking thought I have is about being a parent. "

[arkin-oconnell]

L. What is their secrets to happiness?

" I used to think it was drugs and alcohol cause they didn't let me feel anything. But uh, when I was in rehab all those feelings I had been trying to suppress came crashing back. It sucks. After being clean a year and doing some work on myself. I know what makes me happy. Its people. It's the people I love. The people that make every single day worth getting up for. Opening myself up to people again? It changed everything. " @edenxoconnell @sterlingxlevin @addisonxoconnell @ambivalenceshefelt

[arkin-oconnell]

“ couldn’t take care of myself till recently so, it’s been new “ Arkin glanced back at her with a small smile because there were these times where he didn’t believe when people would hype him up and think he wasn’t going to screw everything up. He wanted to believe the best but he still wanted to be realistic. He was still an addict; he still made mistakes. He was just trying his damndest not to. So it was nice to have an outsider perspective just say things matter of fact. It cut the bullshit.

“ good point. I had a shitty dad myself, so I can definitely judge how that idiot was a terrible dad. He probably thought he was doing a good job “ he replied shaking his head.

“ I appreciate the honestly. “ he admitted glancing back to her. It rattled him a little but in a way he needed to hear. “ guess all I can do is try my best. Not give him a reason to think like I did “ @scottienolan

"Yeah, I can fucking imagine," Scottie scoffs as she takes a drink -- she herself couldn't imagine taking on the role of a parent at her current stage in life.

Hell, she was still trying to parent herself most days.

"Well here's the thing about being a good dad -- you're not really the judge of that," she informs him with a click of her tongue.

"I mean -- you can claim that you're a good dad until the cows come up but the only person who gets to decide whether that's true or not is gonna be your kid."

@scottienolan

[arkin-oconnell]

Arkin had never been to his own prom but if he didn’t let go of Sterling soon he was willing to miss his second chance at one too just to keep her close to him all night. He really needed to be careful because he couldn’t get enough of her. Like loving Sterling had almost replaced the need he had for hard substances. Which was a healthier addiction in the end but he could also be giving Kai and Sunny another sibling too soon if they weren’t more carful.

“ well if you didn’t want to kill me why do you look dressed to kill?” He asked kissing her again. “ you know I do like you in any color you want to wear ?” He asked pulling back a moment “ but I do love when you’re giving me that Morticia to my Gomez energy “ he added before letting out a sigh. “ we’d better get going otherwise I’m not making it to my first prom “ @sterlingxlevin

The little ta-da she said in a singsong tone quickly turned into a burst of giggles as Arkin pulled her into him. She turned to face him and draped her arms over his shoulders, lacing her fingers together at the back of his neck. "No offense, but that was kind of the point. Not like real murder you, but just, as the old folk would say, really knock your socks off." Sterling laughed and quickly stole a kiss from him, a smile still on her lips. "I know I didn't have to but I knew you'd like it and I wanted to surprise you."

@arkin-oconnell

[arkin-oconnell]

There was something about the way Iris had messaged him that had Arkin on high alert. It was because the pair rarely spoke now. The anger he’d had about what happened that night when they were kids had faded away into a sort of peace between them. They weren’t meant to be and it was better left in the past and under a serious of confusing moments that Arkin was still trying to wade through. He didn’t have all the answers and he thought he probably never would. But he wasn’t gonna keep pushing Iris either on anything.

It was why he was surprised she’d reached out. He didn’t know what they were gonna talk about but if she wanted to speak to him it was clear it had to be important. So he got himself together and switched out of his clothes he had been living in practically since Kai was born; (He couldn’t risk destroying his nicer black wardrobe ) and went to meet her.

“ hi” he replied pulling his sunglasses off as soon as he saw her. “ yeah no problem. “ he added before taking a seat “ you have me curious, and honestly a bit worried. Are you okay?I don't really hear from you ever, so I figured it was important" @theirisxalderidge

closed - @arkin-oconnell

where - driftwood

Iris couldn't remember the last time she felt this nervous, or this anxious to see Arkin O'Connell of all people. The man who'd once been her everything and now was nothing to her but the embodiment of the biggest regrets of her life. Still, her life was tied to his in ways she'd never wanted to admit, never wanted to think about...but she couldn't help it anymore. Besides, they were love-drunk children anymore. She was a grown woman who'd achieved her dreams. She was somebody. And Arkin, well, he didn't seem to be the same boy who broke her heart. He'd been through things she didn't even know the full depths of, but he seemed to have come out on top. He had his own little family now, had a son, and despite their pasts, Iris was genuinely happy for him and wished him the best.

But as she stared down at the screenshot she'd taken of a teenaged girl who looked just like her, smiling with her arms around a little boy, and another little girl beside her, parents framing the three children....Iris knew she couldn't keep this in anymore. Olivia. Her daughter. Their daughter. A little girl neither of them knew anything about (whom Arkin didn't even know existed). Iris longed to even hear her voice, ached to see her in person, even just once. But she never would. She didn't even know if Olivia knew she was adopted, didn't even know if that was still her name...

A familiar figure in her periphery made her look up and Iris swallowed, clicking the phone off as she managed to give him a little smile. "Hey." She cleared her throat softly, adjusting her posture a bit in the chair. "Thanks for meeting me."

[arkin-oconnell]

Arkin: it’s certainly got that high school energy to it Arkin: I didn’t go to my original prom so it’s all very new. There's a lot less underage drinking. Arkin: I imagine going to prom though with a newborn at home isn’t normal cause I’m kind of just thinking about all that stuff right now that and how Sterling looks beautiful. Arkin: How are you feeling?@vanessagable

open text.

van: do a heavily pregnant and nosy woman a favor van: and tell me how your prom is going pretty please??

@aurorabaystarter

[arkin-oconnell]

What are you proudest of?

“ fuck, I’ll be honest, I’m proud of a lot of things lately. If you’d asked me that a year and a half ago I’d say nothing. I’d say I’m proud that I was too hard to kill with drugs or something stupid like that. But now? Now is a whole other story. I’m proud that I’ve been clean and sober for over a year. I didn’t think I’d get this far at all. I’m proud that I have the coolest baby with the most beautiful woman. I’m proud of my sisters and cousin. Cause they’re far more talented and smarter than me. I’m proud that I get to still enjoy life when I didn’t think that would ever be possible again. “ @sterlingxlevin

[arkin-oconnell]

“ believe it or not that wouldn’t have been the first time I’ve been hit with those. They have really poor aerodynamics. You would have been lucky to hit me in the chest “ he replied with his usual smile that showed he was always up to no good. “ I was just checking considering this is a math classroom right? “ he replied looking around. Everything seemed so small now and considering Arkin never finished school that had been a whole other thing.

“ honestly as soon as we turned 18 and I left town I hadn’t thought about this place till now. It’s weird though. Like what if Kai ends up going here? I’d hope the teachers that hated me would be retired or dead by then “ he noted not wanting his kid to end up getting judged on account of who his dad was. “ couldn’t we look? “ @addisonxoconnell

Arkin went to grab air for a bit and paused as he’d seen his twin walk into another classroom. At first he was gonna just ignore it considering half the people walking the halls were trying to find classrooms for reasons other than matriculating. But he’d noticed she’d walked in alone and followed based on what he considered ‘a twin thing ‘ he just sort of knew to go find Addison.

“ I go there “ he joked as soon as he peaked a head of blonde hair on from the other side. “ you’re not doing anything weird in here are you? Like Algebra II? “ @addisonxoconnell

[arkin-oconnell]

Arkin went to grab air for a bit and paused as he’d seen his twin walk into another classroom. At first he was gonna just ignore it considering half the people walking the halls were trying to find classrooms for reasons other than matriculating. But he’d noticed she’d walked in alone and followed based on what he considered ‘a twin thing ‘ he just sort of knew to go find Addison.

“ I go there “ he joked as soon as he peaked a head of blonde hair on from the other side. “ you’re not doing anything weird in here are you? Like Algebra II? “ @addisonxoconnell

closed starter for: @arkin-oconnell

location: one of the classrooms she found unlocked

As the night dragged on, things were starting to feel a little stuffy. Addison, not entirely wearing the right dress to breathe properly after her dancing session with Eden, had found her way out to escape the suffocation she was currently feeling. A classroom she hoped no one would be using for any acts she didn't want to be involved in.

She thought she had succeeded until she heard the door open. "Who goes there?"

[arkin-oconnell]

Arkin smiled a bit at the comment mostly because it hadn’t been a secret or anything like that. Well, aside from him trying to keep any sort of press from bothering Sterling since she wasn’t in the public eye like he had been. But it was still funny to be called a baby daddy. “ yeah pretty fucking wild “ he noted at the idea how a year ago he was struggling to get his shit together and now he was feeling like maybe he had a shot at not completely running his life further.

“ pretty good to be honest. As it turns out I’m a fuck up in about 34 things but a pretty good dad as it turns out. Really tired a lot of the time though, you know “ @scottienolan

starter for: @arkin-oconnell location: under the sea prom

"Heard through the grapevine you're a whole-ass baby daddy now," Scottie comments as she places her teeth around and olive to pull it front the toothpick it had rested on in her cocktail.

"How's that treatin' ya?"

[arkin-oconnell]

“ why are you teasing me ?” Arkin replied as he stood fixing the blazer of his outfit. He’d never gone to his own prom since the actor had left town as soon as he’d turned 18; so this was a nice sort of have a do over for him. He let out a dramatic sigh as she told him to sit down and covered his eyes with a hand covered in rings. “ I think you’re killing me with this anticipation thing. You know how bad I am at this “ he added still teasing her. Though he was a very impatient person. As soon as she revealed her look a bright smile appeared on Arkins face that quickly turned into more as he practically jumped off where he was sitting and wrapped an arm around her waist to pull her in close. “ you’re gonna murder me with this look. Good thing you came prepared with those shoes” he noted as he whispered in her ear and kissed her. “ you didn’t have to do this but I think you look beautiful” @sterlingxlevin

closed starter: @arkin-oconnell

where: liza's house, where she went to get ready

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" Sterling teased her boyfriend as she stood just behind the wall by the doorway so he couldn't see her just yet. "You might collapse, I chose this entire outfit with your taste in mind. Just... sit down real quick." Sterling laughed and finally moved to stand in the door way to show off her all black attire. "Ta-da!" She said in a sing-song voice. "The shoes are the best part. Look!" Sterling turned so he could see the daggers on the back with the blades leading onto the heels.

[arkin-oconnell]

Arkin: no worries. If it seems this important I’ll be there when I can Arkin: yeah I’ll be on my way, just gotta make sure things are good at home first @theirisxalderidge

Iris: Yeah. Sorry. Iris: Driftwood works. It's across the street from my shop so just lmk when you're near and I can let my staff know I'll be away for a bit?

[arkin-oconnell]

Arkin: it’s fine. Just seemed a bit out of nowhere so there was some concern Arkin: okay? Are we sure everything’s okay? Arkin: Driftwood? Cant exactly go into bars you know? @theirisxalderidge

Iris: shit, sorry Iris: yeah I just need to talk to you...it's important Iris: you pick the place? whatever works