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How is your soul perceived?

the quiet observer

your soul is like a sponge, absorbing so much of the universe sometimes you feel like you're drowning. you wish you could make your heart a little stronger. but your gentleness is not weakness and neither is your sensitivity. you feel so much more than everyone else. it makes you kind even to those who don't deserve it. it makes you notice the hidden tears and the covered scars. you wonder who will save the ones who are suffering in silence, don't you know that includes you too?

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sorry i poofed for a lil bit weather & health decided to whoop my butt the second i said i'd work on replying to things

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ᅳ ● ☾ ⭑ STARTER CALL : mutuals like for a short starter

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HIS hand gently rested against his chest as his breathing steadied slowly in and out. eyes glanced upward to the moon in the sky. clouds kept it partially hidden, but even the smallest visual of its shine helped give ease. nights like this were never easy, but for once he was thankful to the noctum dulling his senses as it did.

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A long sigh drew out from his lips as he leaned back in the chair he found himself sitting in. well . . . sitting wasn't the most accurate word to use. the way he leaned back aphelios was nearly melting into the seat. who knew a person could sit like that in any way that was considered comfortable. but was he comfortable? aphelios didn't really know. if anything he was barely mentally present. a block had hit him and the struggle to get anything done was eating at him. why did this hit so hard? he'd struggled before but not like this. maybe it was seasonal.

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hi all !! i hope you all have been well. so sorry for taking so long to get back here. health took a toll and my medical stuff got postponed but i'm all done just healing w/ painkillers && antibiotics. got a follow-up next week but i'm out in the clear. i missed everyone here. i'm going to see if i can jump to some drafts and maybe i'll toss out a starter call later on. anyways hi. missed you all. hope your june has been lovely.

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IN . . .

OUT . . .

aphelios took long breaths as he steadied himself. the sound of a twig snap alerted him to a defensive stance. while the sound could very well be a creature moving about the lunari assassin had reflexes prepared to go on the offense in a moment's notice. only when he could denote safety he would relax his posture once more but not be without readiness to act if need be. this reflex was one he would rather live without but his orbit did not have this in store for him.

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i'm a day late but happy pride all you wonderful sweethearts ♥ you're all so wonderful and valid and you make the world that much brighter !! you're seen, you're valid, you're loved ♥

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okay but to really expand upon my phel and romance/love/etc.

in all verses he is very so much so demi and as such requires a good bit of patience and effort to really consider even for a moment any kind of romance.

in his main verse he doesn't even consider romance as a possibility for him and any possible flicker he's swiftly extinguished before it could flourish into a bright flame. he's not incapable of love, but he presently doesn't view a future with him in it and even if he were to entertain the notion he thinks it'd do nothing but harm not only himself but whoever he'd become romantically involved with. he shelters it greatly but his heart has much to give. no one knows this fact better than his twin, but any chance of her poking toward it has been dismissed to change to another topic. at the present he avoids romantic love because he thinks to love for him would be a truly selfish sin that would leave nothing but sorrow in the end.

heartsteel is where he's far closer to maybe entertaining the idea of a momentary crush but never acting on it. he has not just his own career but that of his group's career to look out for as well. he cares far more about those around him getting harmed than maybe acting on anything. he's more open to the idea of helping his twin find love long before he could do so himself. even if he'd be extra protective of anyone getting any bit close to her at the risk of hurting her.

ultimately his heart is one that can love and sometimes yearns to be loved, but he'd much rather hurt himself than do something to hurt others. perhaps he could accept the idea but he truly needs the reassurance and comfort to be willing to try.

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𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬

name; aphelios

nickname; phel, tall-dark-and-gloomy, mister gloomy, gloolios

gender; male ( he / him )

romantic orientation; demiromantic

preferred pet names; none

relationship status; he is very much single & requires plenty of work to consider romance

opinion on true love; he doesn't have a concrete opinion on it, but doesn't believe if it even exists that it's meant for him. as much as the idea could be pleasant he doesn't believe there's much for him outside of his and his twin's duty.

opinion on love at first sight; he's heard people mention things like that but he's yet to experience anything of the sort. he won't deny it could possibly exist, but he has yet to experience anything close for himself.

how 'romantic' are they?; he has yet to truly experience or embrace romance to have a present scale of how romantic he could be, but if he would be willing to embrace the possibility love could exist for him he'd be devoted to the one who would claim his heart.

ideal physical traits; he may not admit it, but he does internally respond to a gentle smile and warm presence.

unattractive physical traits; unclean

unattractive personality traits; too noisy, obnoxious, extreme cockiness

ideal date; stargazing

do they have a type?; not exactly. any semblance of what could maybe indicate a fraction of attraction has been easily discarded in passing. anyone capable of melting the ice around his heart and showing him warmth he didn't know he longed for.

average relationship length; he's never had one so not applicable

preferred non-sexual intimacy; resting one's head upon the other's chest and listening to their heartbeat as time ticks on slowly around them

opinion of public affection; he'd rather avoid it if possible.

past relationships?; none

tagged by: @withinchains (ily u nerd) tagging: if you wanna do it go right ahead

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i want to thank all of you for being so patient with me. i have a few more medical procedures to go through so hopefully when that's all done i can really get fully back into swing. i miss writing here so much. ily all. i hope you all have been well. sorry for this unplanned break in the usual.

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Aphelios has appeared! What to do?

● Make them mine ● Embrace ● Kiss cheek ● Kick

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❛ i’m trying to fix your hair, so hold still. ❜ (from hs kayn :3)

&. 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐬. // @withinchains

THERE was an annoyed sigh and a roll of his eyes, but aphelios complied. while he'd prefer to somehow do this by himself he'd let his bandmate do so to make it easier. outwardly he wore the posture of impatience and annoyance but internally he found it almost nice to some degree. would he ever actually admit to this? never. well . . . never to kayn directly. to alune? oh, this would probably be part of their next conversation or the one right after that. maybe he'd include some kind of teasing that could result in his twin inadvertently poking fun later on. was this a fickle roundabout way of doing things? probably. but his ways were what made sense to him and he'd stick to them.

「 if you do something funny i'll tell alune. 」

aphelios wrote what he said in his messaging app. while his voice was good to use it was more fun to tease with text by forcing kayn to read it. it was weird but it made it funnier. though he definitely appreciated it. who knew he could enjoy spending time with people other than his twin? times sure changed.

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HE must be sleep deprived. he was beginning to treat the ceiling like a starry sky trying to find constellations. when was the last time he slept again?