armed-aphrodite

[armed-aphrodite]

If I had a nickel for every time I read a novel published in 1980 featuring a blind librarian who communicates with jesus and governs a mysterious and potentially supernatural library containing the world I would have two nickels, which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice.

[armed-aphrodite]

There are two ways to Wigan, by land or by sea. Those who approach Wigan by land will see it's chippies as the trunks of tall ships, it's gravy as citrusy tartar spiced with treasured herbs of far off lands. Those who approach Wigan by sea will view it's chippies as soaring concrete car parks, iron locomotive bridges, and comley promenades, it's gravy will be that of inland country fare, of rustic mushroom, aliuns, apples, and all the tastes of home.

[armed-aphrodite]

living next to a body of water never gets old. I don't think it even matters if its the ocean or a lake or a little creek or whatever. lizard brain sees big pond and lights up instantly and says "perfect, we will zone out in front of this for 15-30 minutes and go home refreshed."

[armed-aphrodite]

me, unloading a fitted sheet from the dryer: *squinting* what's that you've got in your mouth

fitted sheet: nothing :)))))))

me, prying open its twisted jaws: na-ah!!! give it to me RIGHT now!!

fitted sheet: *resentfully spits out a wad of 3 very damp dishtowels, a pillowcase, and a pathetically sodden washcloth*

[armed-aphrodite]

boring take from real 21st century idiots: bdsm is bad because it's basically torture

interesting take from a fictional 14th century monk: torture is bad because it's basically sex

[armed-aphrodite]

hitting return early on libby when there's people waiting and feeling like a benevolent queen distributing alms to the poor

[armed-aphrodite]

ITS GREAT LAKES AWARENESS DAY!!!!!

On this excellent day, be aware that this is the largest group of freshwater lakes in the world, covering over 95,000 square miles and reaching depths of over a thousand feet. They are beautiful freshwater seas.

Also when you die in these lakes, the very cold, oxygen-poor conditions at the bottom preserves you perfectly for all eternity. You will not rot and nothing will eat you. You will exist for as long as the Great Lakes do. Many shipwrecks still have the crew on board. Be Aware.

[armed-aphrodite]

[armed-aphrodite]

subaru cormorant…

[armed-aphrodite]

I AM LA REVACHOLIÈRE.

I AM THE CITY.

BE VIGILANT.

I LOVE YOU.

[armed-aphrodite]

our spiritually elevated rejection of canon vs their intellectually dishonest refusal to engage with the text

[armed-aphrodite]

what if u went to go play a pickup basketball game around the block but you took a wrong turn on your way back home and spent the next 10 years lost, wandering the streets of your neighborhood knocking on doors and losing your teammates one by one. this happened to my friend odysseus

[armed-aphrodite]

" Tes Thdpssssps "

[armed-aphrodite]

this website’s easy watch. *dangles a bunch of greek gods like keys*

[armed-aphrodite]

conclavement

[armed-aphrodite]

the autism has won

[armed-aphrodite]

bad news folks. my laugh track has evolved into a greek chorus, and it's trying to learn foreshadowing