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[armed-aphrodite]

Oakoak

[armed-aphrodite]

I think if you showed baru cormorant excel spreadsheets she would feel wonder at its arithmetic capabilities and profound pleasure at her command of such a quick witted tool but after a few hours sunk into playing with it the cold fist of dread that this was a masquerade tool - provided her to poison her figures? - would close in her chest and she’d queasily redo all the sums by hand just to double check and finding nothing would wonder if it wasn’t an exercise to steadily sow her faith in the technology and make her complacent in its whisperings so that one errant sum arced from the heart of the empire like an arrow could unravel the intestines of her lifelong work and she would come to the troubled conclusion that she could never trust their solutions meanwhile the apparitor is like you aren’t using Microsoft excel? and baru is like (lie) I found its results finicky, I trust my own hand better & apparitor’s like really now? You had trouble with it? Odd… And their brow furrows and the white hot knife of triumph like a darting fish flashes through baru’s mind like I’ve caught them guilty now! meanwhile exceedingly hot women are begging to have sex with her and she’s like don’t bother me right now I need to think on how to outsmart Microsoft excel

[armed-aphrodite]

Guy who has wandered through the halls and corridors of your body not with any special kind of love but with the untold intimacy of a contractor assessing the damages and potentials voice: right, so the main issue here is that the body is currently a temple, okay, and what we want is for it to be a home, cause temples are pretty and all and occasionally nice to be in if you're into that sort of thing but very few people would actually want to live in one. So what we're gonna do first is you're gonna take a look at what's here, the carrying walls and windows and all that, and you're going to come up with something you'd actually like to be alive inside of, and it's going to be a lot of work and it's going to feel strange and stupid and embarrassing but you're still gonna do it, because otherwise this construction site is fucked. And maybe what you want to live in is a skatepark or an anime-themed cat cafe or an esoteric library that has a dildo section for some reason, so it might feel like it's a downgrade from a temple, but it's actually the opposite cause the main customer for a body is you and the main customer for a temple are templegoers and maybe higher powers of some kind, - i wouldn't know about those, they never hired me, - not the temple itself, which is what you are, right, cause the body/mind/soul separation doesn't actually do anything, so what you're gonna do is look at the current layout and dig out whatever hope and ability to want you have and come up with a blueprint, and then my boys can actually get to work. Oh, and you have got to change the windows, it's drafty as fuck in here.

[armed-aphrodite]

[armed-aphrodite]

im not even the type of guy to go "actually it's frankenstein's MONSTER" because a painting by rembrandt or picasso or any other artist is often called "a rembrandt" or "a picasso" as shorthand. so in this respect frankenstein's monster can be considered "a frankenstein"

[armed-aphrodite]

new drug called girlfriend laughter just hit the streets one hit and your feel your soul blossom into ten million flowers

[armed-aphrodite]

I mean, the chicken fucking is discussed in a seminal (mind the pun) MFT book (The Righteous Mind: Why Good People are Divided by Religion and Politics, by Jonathan Heidt). The scholars were already discussing the chicken-fucking. It was trojan-horsed in.

(the book is pretty widely available, and also available on audible plus for those who partake. i'd take the whole thing with a few grains of salt, but it's certainly an interesting and entertaining read!)

Oh my god. I need to share another story of my new friend making today. So my friends husband says, very casually, as we’re about to leave for the ren faire, “Yeah, it’s like my story about fucking a chicken.”

And of the four people present I was the only one who was shocked. The others all nodded as if to say, yes yes, we know, the chicken fucking.

So he explained, when a progressive person is analyzing a behavior they will typically use the metric, Harm/No Harm. They may not like things in the No Harm category but they wouldn’t object.

Conversely, a more conservative mindset used something like eight metrics. Authority/No Authority Moral/Not Moral, things like that.

So, he posited if you want to sound out someone’s mindset (and you’re willing to live with the repercussions) you can ask: if a man buys a dead chicken from the store, cleans it thoroughly, then fucks it, and then eats it himself…?

I listened in dawning horror, both rapt and disgusted. But into the growing pause I whispered, “No harm…” because it really has no effect on me or anyone else if a man fucks a dead chicken. I don’t like it, I think he’s a weird dude, but like. That’s his dick. But a more conservative person will hear that and object on moral grounds despite not being harmed.

It’s been haunting me all day, so please enjoy.

[armed-aphrodite]

ITS GREAT LAKES AWARENESS DAY!!!!!

On this excellent day, be aware that this is the largest group of freshwater lakes in the world, covering over 95,000 square miles and reaching depths of over a thousand feet. They are beautiful freshwater seas.

Also when you die in these lakes, the very cold, oxygen-poor conditions at the bottom preserves you perfectly for all eternity. You will not rot and nothing will eat you. You will exist for as long as the Great Lakes do. Many shipwrecks still have the crew on board. Be Aware.

[armed-aphrodite]

instagram: smacmccreanor

[armed-aphrodite]

all the pyramid conspiracy theories are true about the bass pro shops pyramid but not the egyptian ones

[armed-aphrodite]

There is supposed to be a place where no one can reach you. Traditionally, the home, but now we settle for the ocean, the airplane, the summit of a mountain, the middle of a lake, the shower, the womb, the grave

[armed-aphrodite]

https://www.geoguessr.com/vgp/3007

[armed-aphrodite]

incredibly good photo of little rats, with ancient greek particles to learn

[armed-aphrodite]

Real pictures of me, searching for enlightenment in the accident tomes

[armed-aphrodite]

there's a cherry blossom tree in DC that keeps blooming every year even though it shouldn't and the park service keeps thinking it's dead and then it keeps blooming! well they're removing a lot of trees to rehabilitate the area and they've said it's finally time for stumpy to go and they're going to mulch it and use the mulch to enrich all the other trees so it can help everything else keep going. and they're also going to plant spliced little pieces of it all over so that stumpy can live forever and this is genuinely sending me into a spiral

[armed-aphrodite]

yall mind if i preemptively grieve what i still have yet to lose

[armed-aphrodite]

i made a character uquiz. i 100% promise you that you will get a character you know AND like