aroaceoutofplace - Tumblr blog

[aroaceoutofplace]

not gonna dig it up since it's pretty old but i came upon this post that said sth like "maybe asexuality is real but I've never met an asexual that wasn't trans or ugly or traumatised or young or into some freaky shit" and it's like yeah? obviously? might as well have said "I've never met an asexual who wasn't blond or brunette or ginger or black haired or dyed it or was bald" yeah that's everyone. you covered pretty much all of humanity.

[aroaceoutofplace]

I thought we all agreed that Freudian psychoanalysis was garbage and yet I see at least one post per day about how horniness is the sole engine of creativity and the thing that makes the world go round. Like. Y'all know that's literally Freud, right? You're doing Freud again. I would like you to stop.

[aroaceoutofplace]

"Soulmates can't be an arophobic concept because they can be platonic" is not a take I thought I'd see but honestly I'm not surprised. Yes, a huge issue is that the way society views soulmates is a largely a romantic thing and the idea that "everyone has (a romantic) someone out there" is amatonormative bs and is arophobic. But extending it to "platonic soulmates exist too" doesn't fix or even address the actual problem. The fundamental assumption here is that there's someone for everyone regardless of whether it's romantic or platonic and that everyone must be connected to someone. How does making it platonic actually challenge amatonormativity? It honestly has the same feeling as "aro people aren't sad and lonely because they can have platonic partners!"

I'd like to be clear, people self-describing them and their partner(s) as soulmates isn't the issue here. That's on a personal level and that's fine. It's the assertion that everyone has a soulmate that is amatonormative.

That's the other major issue, there's usually the assertion that there is one soulmate per person which just completely throws polyam people under the bus. How is that challenging amatonormativity?

[aroaceoutofplace]

shoutout to aromantics who are super emotional

shoutout to aromantics who flat out aren't stoic and emotionally distant

shoutout to aromantics who still crave people and platonic connection

shoutout to aromantics who still crave people and romantic connection

shoutout to aromantics who fuck

shoutout to aromantics who are hypersensitive to others emotions

shoutout to aromantics who this list doesn't apply to

media representations of aromanticism is fucked. you are valid no matter what

[aroaceoutofplace]

whose idea was it to create a relationship hierarchy? i just wanna talk,,

[aroaceoutofplace]

wishing all aros a very stay warm and cozy

[aroaceoutofplace]

Questioning aspec culture is wondering if you're repulsed by the idea of sex or just repulsed by the idea of objectification

unfortunately they are nearly synonymous, especially if you are a woman

[aroaceoutofplace]

I'm frustrated so I made this.

[aroaceoutofplace]

free to use without credit

happy The Day 

[ID: 3 aspec flags with “SEX IS BASED” on 1, “SEX IS MID” on 2, “SEX IS CRINGE” on 3, all in flaming text. End ID]

[aroaceoutofplace]

[aroaceoutofplace]

I feel like a lot of ace posts I see talk about how it’s okay to have and enjoy sexual activities. And while it is, it’s also okay to be completely disgusted and repulsed by them. To absolutely hate them and want nothing to do with them. You’re not a bad person for loathing it, it’s okay

[aroaceoutofplace]

Me, reading the first lines of smut: God, I wish I wasn't asexual

Real sex:

Me:

Me: ...Yeah, nevermind.

[aroaceoutofplace]

ace people should be allowed to talk about their sex repulsion without being deemed cringey or immature

[aroaceoutofplace]

it’s frustrating to be told that I am favorable or neutral so that I’m more appealing to potential allo partners. My attitudes on the act of sex are a part of my aceness. They overlap, they intersect. It made it very difficult to discover myself to be constantly told this.

Many allos as a result ignore my aceness and think “oh, we might do it.” And it’s never validating to have a part of you ignored because it seems contradictory to the other. Owning that I’m ace has been extremely liberating,and that includes owning that I’m sex neutral/favorable.

There’s a lot of pain associated with this because of this narrative, though. It is an odd feeling to find yourself and be told that owning who you are to the people who told you to find yourself among them harms them. Then with allos being told that I don’t exist? It’s hard.

It can make both spaces difficult to navigate. On the one hand, no, sex favorable aces should not be favored by allos, and that should not disparage sex repulsed aces. But then you can end up with rejection from both sides because of what allos think of you, not who you are.

All attitudes on sex and whether they’re accepted by allos seems to be where aces find our acceptance and our rejection. And it sucks because we should be who determines what is ace, what is acceptable. But we are all impacted heavily by allosexual expectations.

Just… discovering my demisexuality was difficult. It was painful. And part of that was because I’d had sex, some that I’d enjoyed. I still struggle with feeling ace enough. Even while I’m writing a friggin book about it.

But my attitudes on the act of sex are a part of my aceness. I am not ace & favorable/neutral to make allos comfortable.

This is all a part of me.

I am ace.

[aroaceoutofplace]

it’s frustrating to be told that I am favorable or neutral so that I’m more appealing to potential allo partners. My attitudes on the act of sex are a part of my aceness. They overlap, they intersect. It made it very difficult to discover myself to be constantly told this.

Many allos as a result ignore my aceness and think “oh, we might do it.” And it’s never validating to have a part of you ignored because it seems contradictory to the other. Owning that I’m ace has been extremely liberating,and that includes owning that I’m sex neutral/favorable.

There’s a lot of pain associated with this because of this narrative, though. It is an odd feeling to find yourself and be told that owning who you are to the people who told you to find yourself among them harms them. Then with allos being told that I don’t exist? It’s hard.

It can make both spaces difficult to navigate. On the one hand, no, sex favorable aces should not be favored by allos, and that should not disparage sex repulsed aces. But then you can end up with rejection from both sides because of what allos think of you, not who you are.

All attitudes on sex and whether they’re accepted by allos seems to be where aces find our acceptance and our rejection. And it sucks because we should be who determines what is ace, what is acceptable. But we are all impacted heavily by allosexual expectations.

Just… discovering my demisexuality was difficult. It was painful. And part of that was because I’d had sex, some that I’d enjoyed. I still struggle with feeling ace enough. Even while I’m writing a friggin book about it.

But my attitudes on the act of sex are a part of my aceness. I am not ace & favorable/neutral to make allos comfortable.

This is all a part of me.

I am ace.

[aroaceoutofplace]

Hated how in She-Hulk Jen was genuinely upset at the fact that Captain America was most likely a virgin. And that when she talked about everything he went through (war, being frozen, ect) her thoughts were only about his sex life. Sex isn’t everything.

[aroaceoutofplace]

shoutout to all of my fellow sex-repulsed aces. it’s okay if you don’t experience any sexual attraction and don’t want to have sex. it’s okay if you do experience sexual attraction and don’t want to have sex. it’s okay if you like the idea of sex but you never want to actually participate in it. it’s okay to step away from a conversation or avoid subjects that are too sexual for your comfort. it’s okay if you’re sex-repulsed one day and more sex-neutral or sex-positive the other. you deserve to be treated with as much respect as any other ace person and any other person in general.

it’s okay to navigate relationships in a way that’s comfortable for you, whether they’re sexual, romantic, platonic, queer-platonic, unlabeled, or any other kind. you are allowed to be comfortable and you’re allowed to set boundaries with people for your own comfort, whether it’s about sex or anything else. you do not have to prove yourself in any way. you are valid, valued and seen and I promise that you’re not alone. you deserve the world