around-down - Tumblr blog

[around-down]

Semi- (draft)

Stars lie in the mature sky Incomplete pictures Fragmentary

integumentary interference patterns iron-blue dawn low rumblings of transit and transitions

Your actions admit symmetry A product, annular Pull back—

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I feel like a Rapture the Choir Rise  Rise   Rising on up---

I just want you to (de)liber(a)te me from these Chains! of emptiness

Why can't I be the Snake tied around your  Moon? Twisting and turning ever encompassing the

* maria of your twelve bronzen stars? yet I ti r e about lying that I Don't Think About You Either?!?

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(draft)

incrementally i ‘ ll pull my (your)self together

it never stops turning a new leaf over every day

always more keys to jam south poles zenith nadir-wards

but piece together those (oh so small) individual units of hope

push-forwarD→It takes some work to do that! but I never

said it would be trivial. Keep on going keep on

working keep on hanging on from you to i, incrementally.

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(draft)

cut a coin in half the twists and turns and shavings of metal static, worthless shape me with unspoken words de-spoken intentions take back the flood waters collect back the entropy which cooled my molding form and

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through the clouded water

inches and inches of silt

slowly drifting down

making constellations

of beautiful shining pieces

through the water as

its medium of enlightenment

each piece insignificant

on its own,

but the thought arises;

would it be any different

if a single piece were removed?

I think so.

[around-down]

old protocol get deprecated new ones, cobbled together from point A to B to replace the first and ever more pure.

caught in deadlines, RTMs, specifications, none like the ones you made in kindergarten. Handshakes more esoteric then.

the ones we lost are gone. but still us servers shine like beacons burning brightly, hoping to receive that

one magic number that header that sparks the connections anew and dusts off old swapped-out pages from the dark because all I want to do is talk to you one more time all over again, the same opcodes the same bits that both us so easily understood

but my downtime counts up and yet I sit here all alone in a sea of lonely hexcode and synchronous protocols that block me forever.

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pars legis

I've reached a state between shift and reduce, an unknown, an ambiguity I've become. No atlas, no grammar to guide me from what to expect to what's truly present. When even the best approximations sum up to a completely different solution that this.

So down and up I keep recursing, building these abstract trees that one day I might finally traverse.

A perfect solution, totally deterministic that's what I'm sure I'll never become.

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(64kbps)

Many say life is deterministic, a static fate, fuelled by the ever-turning vortices and reactions of an perfectly oriented vector:

that is to say, the arrow of time. This run-length story of ours, all those trials and assertations, compressing life into a single feeling.

That of confusion, want, regret all melding together, exported lossy and with a grainy filter; saved to be replayed, low-fi notes and emotions.

But as we live, we constantly gather feelings and cache them away. Storing them to ruminate on later in the day, at sunset, or at night.

So enter stage right, please exeunt when your cue is called. It's live: just a tape running left to right, no breaks just symbols here.

[around-down]

THE GOLDEN BLUE

Which is to say, that colorful feeling of not being home but not being too far.

That sunset feeling, afraid of a new world moving in way too quickly to handle.

Of being close to the end, but also, to a new beginning. That excitement for

The unsure future, and all you want is to sit down and dwell on the fleeting past.

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then it drops

in one swift strike the past is alighted the

future is changed railroad tracks, switching their gears—no

don't exit here let's keep on going the road

continues on— doesn't it?

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(draft)

I am in love          with the stars out of reach—that burn and twinkle but I know      that they (will never be mine they) will never be close enough that I can feel their light ( and that thought haunts me) how could I never be close enough. they're within my sight (?) how do I reach them (You Never Will) but the stars keep rotating ('round) in their celestial sphere the     aether saturated with their ghostly    light.

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(draft)

It's all rising up, coming to an end. a crown of 15 stars, adorned;    a tabula rasa left in-stead. Without direction. Which interchange do I take? These exits are    unmarked.

—All building up, that feeling before the sunset, a golden blue of nauseating uncertainty, but    excitement tied in there too. I hope. The breath before the dive, the goodbye before the final glance, the—

I'm so scared of What Is To Come. Swallow a scroll that tastes sweet    but makes fate grow black, and dive deeply into water that's Ten Thousand leagues deep. Who knows what it holds?

We're off, into the Great Unknown.    we trek, fending off ailments that we've never studied in school. No book you can rent for this one. Farewell, and I hope you call back. I hope I get a postcard back someday.

[around-down]

(draft)

I trek the long distance across that barren white land?

to meet my oasis, ensnared by a net.

unaccessible within, and untaught to unknot the net,

I thirst and wish I could just drown in its waters.

For the moment it is free, I jump in and drown

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Angular

Angles cloud up and distort; They muddle the periphery. Sharp discontinuities centerfold, And irreconcilable differences     in each other direction.

Weight and Bézier curves around, inundating and overwhelming and I just need a break I wish I didn’t need to exist just go away

But I fall back onto Those necessary axioms:

Choice upon a set of confused     decisions, I guess, Well-ordering deconstructed     (in actuality, things fall apart) Maybe not on paper—too formal—     but as sure as hell in real life.

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into outside

Caught in syncopation, lost out of touch with the beat the rhythm of each beating heart which surrounds me why am I so afraid of whats coming why am I so afraid of my future I made it is what everyone tells me but really did I   will they find out im a fraud ive just convinc- ed them that im a bit more than normal im just a fraud im a mess i havent done anything i n forever but i guess that whole sync opation thing makes the song a bit more beautiful and i hope that people wont complain when the beat skips a bit too much because i too skip a bit maybe a bit too much for the average person but a bit is just enough its a thirty-second of a word and all you need to start a book is a word help

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torn on a sea

DVR, malachite     midnight, seas green melting     into messy ebbs and drips of unenchantedness  slowly, déjà-vu     detained, crimson and burnt     in the flame once too much plain white lack of color     lack of substance     where did it all go

[around-down]

around down

he dives into the ocean drowning and tracing his radii ,       his shortest distances from here to there       and from him to each and every exposed link in this human rotating mess that's so damn dizzying and concentric around       and around and down