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Podcast #986: How to Eliminate the Two Biggest Sources of Financial Stress

There are different philosophies one can have when it comes to money. Jared Dillian’s is built around eliminating as much anxiety around it as possible, so you hardly think about money at all. Jared is a former trader for Lehman Brothers, the editor of The Daily Dirtnap, a market newsletter for investment professionals, and the author of No Worries: How to Live a Stress-Free Financial Life. Today on the show, Jared talks about the two biggest sources of financial stress — debt and risk — and how you can eliminate the stress they can cause. We discuss how three big financial decisions — buying a car, buying a house, and managing student loans — ultimately determine your financial health, and how to approach each of them in a stress-eliminating way. We also talk about how to minimize risk by creating what he calls an “awesome portfolio,” a mix of assets that has nearly the return of the stock market with half its risk. And Jared shares whether cryptocurrency fits into his “no worries” financial philosophy. Resources Related to the Podcast * AoM Article: Why and How to Start an Emergency Fund * AoM Article: Start a Debt Reduction Plan * AoM Article: What Every Young Man Should Know About Student Loans * AoM Article: How to Buy a Used Car * AoM Article: How to Negotiate the Best Deal on a New or Used Car * AoM Podcast #536: How to Achieve a “Rich Life” With Your Finances * AoM Podcast #963: Launch a Million-Dollar Business This Weekend Connect With Jared Dillian * Jared’s finance website * Jared’s personal website * Jared on X Listen to the Podcast! (And don’t forget to leave us a review!)   Listen to the episode on a separate page. Download this episode. Subscribe to the podcast in the media player of your choice. Transcript Coming Soon Help support independent publishing. Make a donation to The Art of Manliness! Thanks for the support! http://dlvr.it/T69lRZ

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Skill of the Week: Make a Tinder Bundle

An important part of manhood has always been about having the competence to be effective in the world — having the breadth of skills, the savoir-faire, to handle any situation you find yourself in. With that in mind, each Sunday we’ll be republishing one of the illustrated guides from our archives, so you can hone your manly know-how week by week. Igniting a fire requires more than a spark. Sweating through a bow drill session to create an ember or grinding away at a piece of flint to make a shower of sparks is wasted if you don’t have a good home for the flicker of fire that’s produced — a place that will help turn the spark into a real flame. Tinder bundles are that home. Made of very dry, fibrous materials, a tinder bundle maximizes surface area and air flow to encourage combustion. Dried grass, shredded bark, and unraveled jute twine are perfect examples of tinder bundle-making materials. Those same materials are typically used in a bird’s nest, which means you could use an actual bird’s nest as a tinder bundle. But for the bird’s sake, learning how to make your own is a worthy skill. A bird’s nest tinder bundle is not only effective because of the materials it uses, but because of its shape. Larger materials on the outside, finer materials on the inside, and a hollowed out center to protect your spark or ember from wind and rain. Once you’ve landed a spark in the bundle, loosely fold it closed (careful not to smother the spark); then gently blow through the tinder with almost closed lips. Once the bundle starts to ignite, move it to a pre-prepared pile of kindling. Like this illustrated guide? Then you’re going to love our book The Illustrated Art of Manliness! Pick up a copy on Amazon. Help support independent publishing. Make a donation to The Art of Manliness! Thanks for the support! http://dlvr.it/T68LRG

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Sunday Firesides: Just Be Cool

What does it mean to be cool?  Philosophers have long pondered this burning question.  There are different types of coolness, with some related to affect, style, or talent. But one type is connected to how we show up in relationships. It’s the type that underlies the feeling expressed when you think to tell someone (or yourself), “Just be cool, man.” When individuals embody this way of being cool, their relationships, instead of being marked by tension and drama, are filled with a paradoxical combination of easy warmth and abundant chill. This kind of coolness requires the development of three qualities: 1) The ability to charitably tolerate the weaknesses of others. Everybody’s got their stuff. Everybody’s trying to get their needs met. Everybody’s just trying to make it in the world. The cool individual recognizes that everyone is imperfect, just as he is imperfect. In fact, he recognizes that the flaws in another are usually just the flip sides of their strengths, and he focuses on his gratitude for those strengths, rather than their cost. 2) The ability to diplomatically communicate how others’ weaknesses affect you. Rather than believing that other people should read his mind as to what’s bothering him, the cool individual openly talks about what’s on it. The majority of relationships end because people passively stew on their resentments until they air them at explosive, point-of-no-return levels, or because they walk away having never voiced them at all. 3) The ability to readily acknowledge your own weaknesses. The cool individual is entirely self-aware of his own shortcomings, so that when someone points them out, he’s able to say, “You’re absolutely right! I do do that! I’m sincerely sorry and will keep working on it.” Tolerance. Openness. Self-awareness. Cultivate these qualities, and you, too, can reach certified cool dude status. Sunglasses recommended, but not required.  Help support independent publishing. Make a donation to The Art of Manliness! Thanks for the support! http://dlvr.it/T66k3l

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Odds & Ends: April 26, 2024

Why Public Health Should Attend to the Spiritual Side of Life. When analyzing what factors affect health, researchers rarely factor in the influence of religion and spirituality. Tyler J. VanderWeele, professor of epidemiology and biostatistics at Harvard’s School of  Public Health, thinks this is a mistake, as this area of life can have a dramatic impact on physical and mental well-being. To wit, while much of the cultural discussion around increases in depression and anxiety, especially among young adults, has centered on smartphones, research has shown “that about 40 percent of the increasing suicide rate in the United States from 1999 to 2014 might be attributed to declines in attendance at religious services during this period. Another study suggested declining attendance from 1991 to 2019 accounted for 28 percent of the increase in depression among adolescents.” There are a lot of benefits to going to church — even when you’re not sure of your beliefs.  The Handbook of Style: A Man’s Guide to Looking Good. Back in the 2000s, Esquire would put out special editions of the magazine called The Big Black Book. My favorite part of these issues was their handsomely illustrated guides on men’s style. Back in 2009, they compiled all these guides in a book, The Handbook of Style. Despite being published over 15 years ago, the advice is still relevant today. My 13-year-old son has a burgeoning interest in upping his style game, and this has become one of his favorite bedtime reads.  Dial M for Murder. Compared to entries like Rear Window and Vertigo, Dial M for Murder is a lesser-known entry in the Hitchcock canon, but it’s still an enjoyable and suspenseful watch. A retired professional tennis player (Ray Milland) plots to kill his cheating wife (Grace Kelly), but his plans go awry. Adapted from a stage play, all the action, such as there is, takes place within the couple’s home, but despite the claustrophobic, dialogue-driven backdrop, the unfolding of the plot and the quality acting (especially from the detective who works the case) draws you in.  KIND Protein MAX Crispy Chocolate Peanut Butter Bar. We’re always on the lookout for new protein bars in the McKay household. They’re great for road trips or when you need some extra protein during your day to hit your protein count. The latest bar we’ve been enjoying is from KIND. Sweetened with low-calorie allulose, it doesn’t have the sugar alcohols of many bars that can cause digestional difficulties, nor the weird stevia flavor of bars like Quest. The first ingredient is peanuts, and these filling bars have a pleasant, nutty, almost granola-bar-esque taste. Quote of the Week A good man doubles the length of his existence; to have lived so as to look back with pleasure on our past life is to live twice. —Marcus Valerius Martialis Help support independent publishing. Make a donation to The Art of Manliness! Thanks for the support! http://dlvr.it/T63zF4

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Saddle Up! A Dictionary of Old-Time Cowboy Slang

The cowboy is one of the great archetypes of American manliness.  He embodies many of the virtues Americans prize, such as grit, freedom, and independence. The cowboy followed a code of honor that, rather than being set by an aristocracy, came from the ground up and worked itself out within a posse.  While many of our ideas of cowboy life are a myth, the romantic ideal of it has had an outsized influence on American culture, including in language.  Because the cowpuncher was typically uneducated, he often used slang to communicate with his horse-riding, steer-roping peers. In 1936, American folklorist Ramon Adams published an ethnography called Cowboy Lingo that focused on the unique language of American cowboys. In it, he cataloged the colorful slang words used by cowboys in the American West from the 19th century to the early 20th. According to Adams, cowboy slang is characterized by the use of picturesque metaphors. The cowboy drew from his everyday life to create phrases and words that could be used more broadly. For example, a cowboy might have noticed that when a bull gets angry, it starts aggressively pointing its horns at would-be targets. To tell a fellow cowpoke to quit looking for trouble, a cowboy might say to his compadre: “Pull in your horns!” Below, we give you a sampling of common cowboy slang words. You might notice some of them sprinkled in a Western movie or novel, and you’ll even notice some that are still in use today. Ace in the hole. A hideout or a hidden gun. According to Hoyle. Correct, by the book. “Hoyle” is a dictionary of rules for card games. Acknowledge the corn. To admit the truth, to confess a lie, or acknowledge an obvious personal shortcoming. Addle-headed. Empty-headed, not smart. A hog-killin’ time. A real good time. “We went to the Rodeo Dance and had us a hog-killin’ time.” A lick and a promise. To do a haphazard job. “She just gave it a lick and a promise.” All-fired. Very, great, immensely; used for emphasis. “He is just too all-fired lazy to get any work done around here.” Amputate your timber. Go away, run off. Apple peeler. Pocket knife. Apple pie order. In top shape, perfect order. Attitudinize. To assume an affected attitude. Bach (pronounced “batch”). For a man to keep house without a woman’s help. Backdoor Trots. Diarrhea. Ballyhoo. Sales talk, advertising, exaggeration. Barber’s cat. Half-starved, sickly-looking person. Barber’s clerk. A conceited, over-dressed fellow who tries to act like a “gentleman.” Barkin’ at a knot. Doing something useless; wasting your time, trying something impossible. Barrel boarder. A bum. Between hay and grass. Neither man nor boy, half-grown. Biggest toad in the puddle. The most important person in a group. Biggity. Large, extravagant, grand, haughty. Black-eyed susan. A six-gun. Blue devils. Dispirited. “I have the blue devils today.” Bone orchard. Cemetery. Bosh. Nonsense. “It was absolute bosh what he said.” Boss. The best, top. “The Alhambra Saloon sells the boss whiskey in town.” Buckaroo. A cowboy, usually from the desert country of Oregon, Nevada, California, or Idaho. Buckle to. Set about any task with energy and determination. Calico queen. Prostitute. California widow. A woman separated from her husband, but not divorced. (From when pioneer men went West, leaving their wives to follow later.) Cash in. To die. Catch a weasel asleep. Referring to something impossible or unlikely, usually used in regard to someone who is always alert and seldom or never caught off guard.  Clodhopper. A rustic, a clown. Cotton to. To take a liking to. Cowboy up. Toughen up, get back on yer horse, don’t back down, don’t give up. Dash. Euphemism for damn. Dead-alive. Dull, inactive, moping. Didn’t have a tail feather left. Broke. Docity. Quick comprehension, usually used in a negative way. “He has no docity.” Don’t care a continental. Don’t give a damn. Dry gulch. To ambush someone, especially when the ambusher hides in a gully or gulch… http://dlvr.it/T613jw

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Podcast #985: The Secret World of Bare-Knuckle Boxing

Have you ever noticed the guy in a fighting stance on the Art of Manliness logo? That’s not just some random symbol; it’s an actual dude: John L. Sullivan, the greatest bare-knuckle boxer of the 19th century. While most people think bare-knuckle boxing came to an end during Sullivan’s era, in fact, it never entirely went away. In his new book, Bare Knuckle: Bobby Gunn, 73–0 Undefeated. A Dad. A Dream. A Fight Like You’ve Never Seen, Stayton Bonner charts bare-knuckle boxing’s rise, fall, and resurgence, as well as the improbable story of its modern chapter’s winningest champion. Today on the show, Stayton describes bare-knuckle boxing’s incredible popularity a century ago, and why gloved boxing took its place while bare-knuckle got pushed into a shadowy, illicit underground. Stayton takes us into that secret circuit which still exists today, revealing the dark, sweaty basements and bars where modern bare-knuckle fights take place and the ancient code of honor that structures them. And Stayton introduces us to a dominant figure in that world, Bobby Gunn, an undefeated bare-knuckle fighter who combines a love of faith, family, and fighting and has helped turn bare-knuckle boxing into what is now the world’s fastest-growing combat sport. Resources Related to the Podcast * AoM series on honor * AoM Podcast #41: Honor in the Civil War — The Gentlemen & The Roughs * Podcast #54: The Life of John L. Sullivan * AoM Podcast #111: Why Men Fight & Why We Like to Watch  * AoM Article: America’s First Popular Men’s Magazine — The National Police Gazette * Videos of Bobby Gunn fighting and talking about bare-knuckle boxing * Tom Molineaux * John L. Sullivan * The Sullivan-Kilrain fight * William “Bill the Butcher” Poole * Gangs of New York bare-knuckle fight scene * Far and Away bare-knuckle fight scene Connect With Stayton Bonner * Stayton on X * Stayton on LinkedIn Listen to the Podcast! (And don’t forget to leave us a review!)   Listen to the episode on a separate page. Download this episode. Subscribe to the podcast in the media player of your choice. Transcript Coming Soon Help support independent publishing. Make a donation to The Art of Manliness! Thanks for the support! http://dlvr.it/T5yVFX

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More Than Ever, the Medium Is the Message

Have you had two different experiences, one where you were dumped by text message, and one where you were broken up with in person? While similar sentiments were probably conveyed in both instances, the context of each likely changed your feelings about the experience and even how you then assessed and now remember the relationship. This example begins to get at what media philosopher Marshall McLuhan meant when he famously said “The medium is the message.” When we think about the message of a communication — the aspect of it that can change a recipient’s thoughts and behavior — we typically think of the content of the communication. But McLuhan argued that communication is shaped not only by its content, but by its character. It’s not just what is said that’s important, but how it’s said. This how, the medium of the message, can, in fact, be the most influential part of communication; it is the message.  The character of a message changes minds just as readily as its content. A medium’s message, McLuhan said, is the “change of scale or pace or pattern” it introduces “into human affairs.” The nature of communication mediums changes the structure of how we think and do things, and have second and third order social, psychological, and religious effects. While we often think of the technology of communication as neutral, it isn’t; it invariably alters individual psyches and collective culture. This makes intuitive sense when we think about how the medium of digital communication — which often takes the form of bite-sized, endlessly varied, always-on nuggets — has shrunken and fragmented attention spans and altered the pattern and pace of our habits. No one on social media is explicitly saying, “Don’t read for as long” or “Be more distracted when you’re talking to someone,” but the medium has conveyed that message, and we have absorbed it, nonetheless. The shortened, rapid-fire character of modern media affects not only our cognitive and real-world rhythms, but also the significance we lend to the content it carries. In describing the structure of broadcast news programs in 1982’s Amusing Ourselves to Death, media theorist Neil Postman noted that “the average length of any story is forty-five seconds” and observed that “While brevity does not always suggest triviality, in this case it clearly does. It is simply not possible to convey a sense of seriousness about any event if its implications are exhausted in less than one minute’s time.” Likewise, we unconsciously feel that anything that can be conveyed in a 60-second TikTok video or short tweet can’t really be that important.  But arguably the most significance-draining aspect of the medium of modern media is the way that each piece of context-less content is sandwiched between other context-less and entirely unconnected pieces of content. Postman said the phrase “now … this” was one of the scariest phrases in our language. He was again referring to news programs and the way the phrase allows newscasters to abruptly segue between two completely unrelated stories, as in “The missile strike killed over 100 civilians. Now … this. A koala bear was born at the zoo!” Postman said: “The phrase is a means of acknowledging the fact that the world as mapped by the speeded-up electronic media has no order or meaning and is not to be taken seriously.”  The “now … this” phenomenon has only accelerated in the modern age. As you scroll through social media, you see a reel of a funny sports blooper, followed by someone making nachos, followed by someone explaining a Bible verse, followed by someone working out, followed by someone giving relationship advice, followed by a car crash. Because the medium of social media presents all of these things on an equal plane, each seems to possess equal significance. A great flattening takes place. The baser content isn’t brought up to the loftier’s level; the loftier content is brought down to the base. Everything begins to feel as if it has equal weight . . . and then begins to feel weightless.… http://dlvr.it/T5vvPL

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Podcast #984: Why Your Memory Seems Bad (It’s Not Just Age)

Do you sometimes walk to another room in your house to get something, but then can’t remember what it was you wanted? Do you sometimes forget about an appointment or struggle to remember someone’s name? You may have chalked these lapses in memory up to getting older. And age can indeed play a role in the diminishing power of memory. But as my guest will tell us, there are other factors at play as well. Charan Ranganath is a neuroscientist, a psychologist, and the author of Why We Remember: Unlocking Memory’s Power to Hold on to What Matters. Today on the show, Charan explains how factors like how we direct our attention, take photos, and move through something called “event boundaries” all affect our memory, and how our current context in life impacts which memories we’re able to recall from the past. We also talk about how to reverse engineer these factors to improve your memory. Resources Related to the Podcast * AoM Article: 10 Ways to Improve Your Memory * AoM Podcast #546: How to Get a Memory Like a Steel Trap * AoM Podcast #750: The Surprising Benefits of Forgetting * Reminiscence bump Connect With Charan Ranganath * Charan’s website * Charan on IG * Charan’s faculty page Listen to the Podcast! (And don’t forget to leave us a review!)   Listen to the episode on a separate page. Download this episode. Subscribe to the podcast in the media player of your choice. Transcript Coming Soon Help support independent publishing. Make a donation to The Art of Manliness! Thanks for the support! http://dlvr.it/T5sKH4

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Skill of the Week: Survive a Fall Onto Subway Tracks

An important part of manhood has always been about having the competence to be effective in the world — having the breadth of skills, the savoir-faire, to handle any situation you find yourself in. With that in mind, each Sunday we’ll be republishing one of the illustrated guides from our archives, so you can hone your manly know-how week by week. Of all the places to take a tumble, an underground subway platform is one of the most dangerous. What makes a fall onto subway tracks so fraught is that it’s often not easy to get out on your own. Steep, tall walls can make it nearly impossible for an average person to get off the tracks before the next train approaches. And, because subway systems are built for one purpose and one purpose only, the tunnels don’t have a lot of extra space built in just for the heck of it. Subway cars can whip through sections of track where they only have inches of clearance on any given side. So, how should you respond if you do happen to fall (or get pushed) onto the tracks? Use the tips above to survive.  Like this illustrated guide? Then you’re going to love our book The Illustrated Art of Manliness! Pick up a copy on Amazon. Help support independent publishing. Make a donation to The Art of Manliness! Thanks for the support! http://dlvr.it/T5qWNL

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Sunday Firesides: You Should Join a Cult

In the present age, the word “cult” is used in a pejorative sense. But it didn’t always carry this negative baggage.  Cult derives from the Latin cultus, which was originally an agri-cult-ural term referring to the cultivation of the land. The Romans, who participated in both state and private cults, used the word to describe the committed cultivation of the rites, habits, and sacrifices attendant to showing religious reverence. In subsequent centuries, cult retained this religious connotation but was also used more generally to mean “devoted attention to a particular person or thing.” People spoke of those who belonged to “the cult of the soul,” “the cult of honesty,” “the cult of creativity,” “the cult of strenuosity.” Today, we could all benefit from joining a cult in this older sense of simply being unwaveringly, even “excessively,” dedicated to a set of beliefs and practices. In a world in which healthy, virtuous ways of life are uncommon and unconventional, maintaining one’s ideals requires a single-minded, almost religious devotion.  It takes fanatical commitment to make exercise a daily non-negotiable when life rarely necessitates getting out of your chair.  It takes fervent dedication not to overeat when food is available at every time and in every place. It takes zealous conviction to stay in a marriage when everyone around you seems to be throwing in the towel.  It takes unrelenting vigilance to think for yourself when the landscape is full of regurgitated, algorithmically-driven chatter.  In a world where standard norms tend towards deterioration and decay, you cannot hope to swim upstream with a middling, milquetoast allegiance to healthy habits and higher principles. Staying sane requires going at things a little crazy; adopting stand-apart beliefs, bright-line rules, and sacrosanct rituals; embracing the cult of fidelity, reviving the cult of strenuosity, and joining the cult of life. Help support independent publishing. Make a donation to The Art of Manliness! Thanks for the support! http://dlvr.it/T5ngyC

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Podcast #983: Grid-Down Medicine — A Guide for When Help is NOT on the Way

If you read most first aid guides, the last step in treating someone who’s gotten injured or sick is always: get the victim to professional medical help. But what if you found yourself in a situation where hospitals were overcrowded, inaccessible, or non-functional? What if you found yourself in a grid-down, long-term disaster, and you were the highest medical resource available? Dr. Joe Alton is an expert in what would come after the step where most first aid guides leave off. He’s a retired surgeon and the co-author of The Survival Medicine Handbook: The Essential Guide for When Help is NOT on the Way. Today on the show, Joe argues that every family should have a medical asset and how to prepare to be a civilian medic. We discuss the different levels of first aid kits to consider creating, from an individual kit all the way up to a community field hospital. And we talk about the health-related skills you might need in a long-term grid-down disaster, from burying a dead body, to closing a wound with super glue, to making an improvised dental filling, to even protecting yourself from the radiation of nuclear fallout. Resources Related to the Podcast * AoM Article: How to Use a Tourniquet to Control Major Bleeding * AoM Article: The Complete Guide to Making a DIY First Aid Kit * AoM Article: How to Suture a Wound * AoM Article: What Every Man Should Keep in His Car * AoM Article: Improvised Ways to Close a Wound * AoM Podcast #869: The Survival Myths That Can Get You Killed With Alone Winner Jim Baird Connect With Joe Alton * Doom and Bloom website * Doom and Bloom on YouTube * Doom and Bloom on FB Listen to the Podcast! (And don’t forget to leave us a review!)   Listen to the episode on a separate page. Download this episode. Subscribe to the podcast in the media player of your choice. Transcript Coming Soon Help support independent publishing. Make a donation to The Art of Manliness! Thanks for the support! http://dlvr.it/T5dJlM

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Classical Music 101 — The Origins of an Illustrious Art

I’ve enjoyed listening to classical music for most of my life. In high school, I’d tune into my hometown university’s radio station at night to listen to Bach and Beethoven while I did my homework. It made me feel smart.  I still listen to classical music today when I work. I also listen to it on Sunday mornings when planning my week.  While I’d listened to classical music since I was young, I didn’t know much about it. Sure, I knew who the great composers were and was familiar with their most famous compositions, but I couldn’t tell what made Bach’s music different from Beethoven’s. Heck, I didn’t even know that calling what I thought was classical music “classical music” was really a misnomer. More on that below. So, I decided to change that this year. Starting in January, I began reading books on classical music and listening to an audio course on the subject from The Great Courses. It’s been a revelation! While it didn’t make me an expert, when I listen to classical music now, I get more out of it because I know what I’m listening to. It’s made me appreciate what I’m hearing. I’ve also enjoyed learning about the lives of great composers like Bach and Beethoven. Bach was a workhorse, and I admire Beethoven’s Romantic bent (he once wrote that he wanted to “grab fate by the throat” — what an amazing, thumos-filled phrase!). If you’ve wanted to get into classical music but have been intimidated in knowing where to start, today we begin a two-part series that introduces the genre. The goal is to help kick off your listening journey and appreciation for the music that we call classical. Which is a nice segue to the first thing I learned in my own listening journey… Why Classical Music Isn’t Classical Music If you’re like me before I took this musical deep dive, you likely call all music made with flutes, pianos, and violins, written by dudes who wore powdered wigs and had German last names, “classical music.” But, yeah, that’s a misnomer.  Technically, Classical music, with a capital C, is a style of Western music that was composed between approximately 1750 and 1827. Beethoven was a Classical composer, but Bach wasn’t (he was a Baroque composer). If you want to be more precise, you’ll want to call what you call “classical music,” “Western concert music” or “Western art music.” With that said, I don’t worry too much about using “classical music” colloquially to describe the spectrum of formal, harmonically complex Western orchestral/instrumental music that people typically put under that umbrella. I’ll be using it in that sense in this series. Western art music/classical music is typically broken into the following eras: * Greek, Medieval, and Renaissance Eras (2,000 BCE to 1600) * The Baroque Era (1600-1750) * The Classical Era (1750-1825) * The Romantic Era (1825-1900) * The Modern Era (1900 – today) Each era had its unique style and innovations.  When you imagine “classical music,” you probably imagine music from the Baroque, Classical, and Romantic eras. And for good reason! These periods produced the giants of Western music like Vivaldi, Bach, Handel, Mozart, and Beethoven. When you tune into your local classical music radio station, you’ll likely hear songs composed during these three periods.  Another thing to point out about classical music is that we typically think of it as “pure music” — music composed for art’s sake rather than for filthy lucre or the masses. You listen to classical music in the background when doing math problems or contemplating Platonic Forms. Well, I hate to burst your bubble, but even the greats wanted to get paid and be famous. Many great classical pieces were written to get rich and attract an audience. And some of it was downright vulgar (Beethoven composed a song about his digestive issues that mimicked farting). The fact that great classical music was composed for money and fame shouldn’t take away from its illustriousness. These composers also worked to create art that glorified God and inspired humans to live… http://dlvr.it/T5bFBr

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Podcast #982: Skills Over Pills

Over the last decade, there’s been an increase in the number of people, particularly young adults, who struggle with low moods, distractibility, and anxiety, and consequent difficulties with getting their life on track and making progress in work, friendship, and romance. In addressing these difficulties, people are often given or adopt a mental health diagnosis, and look for a solution in therapy and/or medication. My guest isn’t opposed to these remedies. She is herself a clinical psychologist who’s maintained a practice for a quarter century that specializes in treating clients in their twenties. But Dr. Meg Jay, who’s also the author of The Twentysomething Treatment, believes that a lot of what young adults, and in fact adults of all ages, struggle with, aren’t disorders that need to be treated, but problems that can be solved. In the first half of our conversation, Meg explains what’s behind the decline in mental health for young adults and how it’s bigger than just smartphones. We discuss the dangers of self-diagnosis, the potential downsides of using medications to treat mental health issues, and why she advocates for “skills over pills.” In the second half of our conversation, we talk about how mental health gets better when we get better at life, and what skills twentysomethings, and many older adults, need to develop, including the skills of thinking, feeling, working, socializing, and even cooking. We also discuss how porn is affecting the young men in her practice and an alternative to being a self-assurance junkie. Resources Related to the Podcast * Meg’s last appearance on the AoM podcast: Episode #51 — The Defining Decade  * AoM series on not wasting your twenties * Study on whether antidepressants work better than placebos * AoM series on depression * Sunday Firesides: Congratulations, You’re a Human! * AoM Podcast #741: The Exercise Prescription for Depression and Anxiety * AoM Podcast #772: How Long Does It Take to Make Friends (And How Does That Process Work, Anyway)? Connect With Meg Jay * Meg’s website Listen to the Podcast! (And don’t forget to leave us a review!)   Listen to the episode on a separate page. Download this episode. Subscribe to the podcast in the media player of your choice. Podcast Sponsors Click here to see a full list of our podcast sponsors. Transcript Coming Soon Help support independent publishing. Make a donation to The Art of Manliness! Thanks for the support! http://dlvr.it/T5Xmdc

[art-of-manliness]

Skill of the Week: Handle a Car That’s Hydroplaning

An important part of manhood has always been about having the competence to be effective in the world — having the breadth of skills, the savoir-faire, to handle any situation you find yourself in. With that in mind, each Sunday we’ll be republishing one of the illustrated guides from our archives, so you can hone your manly know-how week by week. Hydroplaning is a terrifying situation for even the most experienced driver. It occurs when water is forced under your tires, causing them to leave the surface of the roadway and you to lose control of the car. In normal conditions, your tires are designed to shed water to the sides. But, in deeper pools of water, or when your tires are worn, the grooves on your tires may not be sufficient to force water out of the way. When water isn’t sent to the side, it goes underneath and hydroplaning occurs. At higher speeds, the problem is only exacerbated. As with most emergency maneuvers, the best way to deal with them is to avoid them entirely. A few pointers for prevention: * Keep tires properly inflated * Replace worn tires * Avoid cruise control in wet conditions * Drive slower in wet conditions * Avoid road edges where puddles tend to accumulate If you do find yourself losing control, staying calm and making smooth maneuvers is important. As outlined above, what specific actions you take depend on the type of car you drive. Illustrated by Ted Slampyak  Help support independent publishing. Make a donation to The Art of Manliness! Thanks for the support! http://dlvr.it/T5Vs85

[art-of-manliness]

Sunday Firesides: Gotta Get in the Reps

Coach youth sports long enough, and you begin to see the main difference maker as to which would-be athletes improve. The kids who dribble the basketball in their driveway every night or play catch with their parents during the week, get better. Those who don’t handle the ball outside of scheduled practices, do not.  It’s the reps that matter. It’s the number of “touches” — the number of times the kid’s got the ball in his hands, that determines whether he develops the skills of the game. Repetition is the difference maker outside of sports as well. Not only, of course, in learning things like a musical instrument, where the more often you’re tickling the keys, the better a piano player you become, but also in training the soul. Aristotle famously said that virtue is a habit. We become virtuous by doing.  If you wish to achieve self-mastery, it’s not enough to meditate or work out once a week. Self-mastery must be built by regularly doing things you’d rather not do. It must be built by engaging in small daily practices — initiating a difficult conversation, foregoing dessert, turning off a suspenseful movie to go to bed — that drill your discipline.  If you wish to become a loving husband or dedicated disciple, it’s not enough to show up for a date night or church service once a week or once a year. Such dispositions must be developed through daily devotions.  Character is cultivated by getting in thousands of little touches, doing the thousands of little reps that build the muscle memory of the heart — and prepare you for life’s higher-stakes moments.  When a great trial or temptation arrives, the man who enters the arena and comes out with the crown, is not he who’s merely been practicing, but he who’s made life his practice.  Help support independent publishing. Make a donation to The Art of Manliness! Thanks for the support! http://dlvr.it/T5TKKD

[art-of-manliness]

Odds & Ends: April 12, 2024

Why I Hope to Die at 75 by Ezekiel J. Emanuel. There’s been a lot of attention given in recent times to extending the lifespan. But Dr. Emmanuel, an oncologist and bioethicist, has a compelling, contrarian position: he hopes to die at 75. As he argues, a lot of people think they’ll be an exception to the rules of aging, that they’ll stay physically nimble and mentally sharp right up until death whisks them painlessly away. But as the capacity-robbing, burden-on-loved-ones-increasing toll of age eventually comes for all, Emanuel would rather go out before he falls apart. It’s not that he plans to kill himself at 75, but once he reaches that age, he’ll stop getting preventative screenings (no colonoscopies; no cardiac stress tests) and won’t accept treatments to extend his life. The Vintage Slub Polo from Flint and Tinder. One of my go-to brands for clothing just dropped a new line of polos and tees that are made in the USA from slub cotton. I picked up a navy blue polo. It’s super soft and feels like you’ve worn it for years, but the fabric has a nice thickness; it’s not thin and gauzy as some slub shirts are. Polos are a great item to have in your springtime wardrobe because they’re so dang versatile. You can dress them up or down. Make sure to check out our guide to polo shirts. The Last Lion trilogy by William Manchester. Quite possibly the best biography you’ll ever read. Epic in scale — about 3,000 pages split over three volumes — Manchester takes you on an enjoyable and edifying ride through Winston Churchill’s legendary life. You really feel like you’re there as Churchill comes of age, struggles to find his place as a politician, and leads his country through WWII. It’s hard to call any biography a page-turner, since you know what happens, but The Last Lion comes awfully close. Tragically, Manchester died before being able to finish the last volume, and another author stepped in to complete it. The third volume thus falls slightly short of the first two, but all are eminently worth reading. The Searchers. In this film directed by John Ford, John Wayne gives the most intense acting performance of his career as the dark and vengeful Ethan Edwards, a man who vows to kill the Comanche raiders who murdered his beloved sister-in-law and brother and took captive two of their daughters. Wayne does a fantastic job embodying a conflicted, complex man whose desire for revenge sets up a situation far more morally ambiguous than Cowboys vs. Indians. The film is beautifully shot. So many epic and sweeping shots of the desert landscape. And the pacing of the film is spot on. Doesn’t drag at all but also doesn’t feel rushed.  Quote of the Week In those vernal seasons of the year when the air is calm and pleasant, it were an injury and sullenness against nature not to go out and see her riches, and partake in her rejoicing with heaven and earth. —John Milton Help support independent publishing. Make a donation to The Art of Manliness! Thanks for the support! http://dlvr.it/T5Qx1m

[art-of-manliness]

4 Ways to Remove a Broken Light Bulb From a Socket

One of the problems you can encounter with incandescent light bulbs is that when the glass bulb breaks, they’re hard to get out of the socket. But with a bit of ingenuity, you can easily take care of this job. Now, you might be thinking, “Why do I need to know how to do this when incandescent bulbs have been phased out?” It’s true that last year, the U.S. banned incandescent light bulbs to nudge people to start using LED bulbs, which are typically made of plastic and don’t break like incandescent bulbs made of thin glass. But there are two reasons why you still need to know how to remove a broken incandescent bulb. First, you probably still have some incandescent bulbs in use around your house. If they ever shatter, you’ll want to know how to get them out. Second, while run-of-the-mill incandescent bulbs that you use to light your house’s rooms were banned, incandescent bulbs for appliances and bug lamps are still legal. So even in the age of the LED bulb, there’s still a chance you’ll use, break, and need to remove a shattered bulb. Above, we showcase four methods for removing a broken glass light bulb. Before you use any of the methods, make sure the power is shut off to the light socket. You don’t want to electrocute yourself. Also, put on some heavy-duty work gloves and snap off any glass shards remaining on the bulb so you don’t cut yourself during the removal process. Keep those gloves on as you extract the bulb. Help support independent publishing. Make a donation to The Art of Manliness! Thanks for the support! http://dlvr.it/T5NZdT