artemisrisen

[artemisrisen]

what is it going to take for yashiro to break!!!! he can’t “give in” before the yakuza battle royale reaches its climax - per the unwritten rules of storytelling - but WHAT is going to finally convince him that doumeki loves him and that he is worthy to receive this love? what’s going to be the catalyst? AHHHHHHHHHHHH

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also doumeki is 1000% not sleeping with izumi or romantically entangled with her in any way. the reread makes this so clear. I will, uhh….venmo everyone in the fandom a crisp $1 if I’m wrong (I’m not wrong)

[artemisrisen]

I reread the entirety of post-timeskip saezuru over this weekend and I have so many thoughts - but more importantly, I have so many questions. and all the below have nothing to even do with yashiro and doumeki’s relationship, but with the overarching plot that’s happening around them - I ended up breaking it down by section:

YAKUZA WAR:

- what does yamakawa know about kai? why is he the connecting point in all this? why does he need to be protected but also kept under watch?

- why did okuyama take kai under his wing? he said that he owed kai’s father (a former kumichou, now dead) a tremendous favor - was was it? who was kai’s father?

- what is ryuuzu’s ultimate plan with l provoking an all-out war with multiple factions? do they think they have the firepower to go against both sakura and doushinkai? how do they intend to win?

DOUMEKI:

- how did doumeki manage to get/steal 20million yen when he was first attempting to rejoin the yakuza with misumi? what happened to it?

- what is doumeki’s true relationship with izumi-san? who is she?

- why did doumeki tell kamiya in an earlier chapter, “you should not expect me to get promoted?”

- what is doumeki’s end goal overall?

- what will doumeki’s test of loyalty be for the sakura group, now that he has protected yashiro instead of tsunakawa?

YASHIRO:

- what deal did yashiro strike with yamakawa? where did he drop him off?

- what is yashiro doing with all the money he has been accruing? he’s been amassing a ton of “dirty�� money well before he knew doumeki was still in the yakuza.

- why has yashiro resisted rejoining the yakuza despite both misumi and nanahara both making it clear they want him to have his own group again?

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this tweet is literally never not on my mind

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possibly my favorite gesture of longing, will never miss (movie is before sunset)

So close, yet...

Chapter 46:

Chapter 61:

😫😭😭😭🤧

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this casting for marius has got my stomach twisted in the best way…. the tension between him and armand is going to be so uncomfortably erotic and sick. I love to be Unsettled

[artemisrisen]

I JUST noticed the white sparks in the lower panel; this happened in chapter 33 as well, when yashiro was struck with emotion:

I love it!

saezuru preview for chapter 61 (I’ll delete this when the chapter is out since this is just theorizing)

- doumeki got beaten up? his chin and mouth have marks on them :-/

- kageyama’s clinic? so yashiro had to have taken over doumeki’s care - I had hoped this would be the case since kage has treated bullet wounds before, but I didn’t want to get my hopes up!

- yashiro looks so openly upset; I will always love that doumeki is his trigger for real emotion clawing its way to the surface

- are you going to listen, yashiro-san???

[artemisrisen]

Love the comparison panels for investigation! I snagged one from a much earlier chapter as well, when Yashiro helped rescue Ryuuzaki’s woman and took her to Kageyama’s -

I would say it’s the same room, for sure. 👍🏻

At Kageyama's?

@artemisrisen mentioned that they might be in Kageyama's clinic. I was curious, so, here is a comparison to the room we saw in chapter 58:

The cabinet looks pretty similar, the desk next to it and there is also that frame on the wall. The knobs on the cabinet are different and there's nothing on the wall behind the bed but who knows? I think it's similar enough. Maybe Kageyama has two treatment rooms? Anyways, I think it's more likely that they are at Kageyama's because there's no IV and the room looks distinctly different from the hospital room:

[artemisrisen]

The Drowned Halls

[artemisrisen]

all the things to say, but thank you for your hard work and additional insight as always!!! I love, love reading the commentary alongside the actual summary :)

what excites me so much is that saezuru thrives on ambiguity and reader interpretation, so to have doumeki’s choice not only be blatant and decisive, but in front of all these people, is just such a huge thrill. (I love that sensei included an extra little “drive the point home” moment when she had one of the sakuraikka members tell doumeki to get in position for the meeting to guard tsunakawa. yep, there’s no way to read doumeki’s choice as literally anything but what it was).

yashiro cannot run away from this revelation: doumeki is seriously (but not fatally!) injured and sakuraikka is going to be furious. he can’t play indifferent and he can’t sit and think about his feelings; he has to act - and he has to act with this “new”, profound knowledge that doumeki chose him over his own boss. after all of this - he chose him! this man yashiro is lovesick over, who changed into a stranger after four years, who resents him, who has a woman - he chose him, with no hesitation. it’s just so romantic!!!! (while also being oh fuck doumeki you really just fucked up ahhhhhhhh drama)

(also, I want to give a little reprieve to nanatan because I saw other people commenting on his lack of action - doumeki is wrapped around yashiro like a hedgehog!! what would he even protect?? I think instinct took over and he knows that doumeki is protecting their (🥹) boss quite sufficiently 🙂‍↕️//nanahara defender for life)

Summary of Ch 60✨

I finally got my copy of ihr Hertz magazine late last night and I finished all my responsible adult things so now I can write this summary! Sorry it took so long! What a great chapter, it has it all - some sexy bits, some yakuza bits, some angst, and a crazy surprise cliffhanger. If you want to read a summary before the scanlations come out carry on below the break.

SPOILERS AHEAD (also it's kind of long)

First is that lovely chapter cover page. I wrote about it here, and I assumed that the text on this page was coming from Yashiro's point of view, but it's interesting to think about the text from Doumeki's point of view as well (the reason for that will become clear by the end of the summary). So the text could read "Even though I know [you're / he's / I'm] not [my / your] subordinate anymore...", depending on from whose point of viewing you’re taking it. (Bless Japanese for being able to function perfectly well without the use of pronouns.)

The chapter opens on one of D and Y's trysts that we've heard about. D is doing Y from behind, D's facial expressions are passionate and a bit sad too, Y seems lost in the sex but also distressed. D flips Y around so they're facing each other, D's hands behind Y's knees, holding his legs. Y doesn't protest verbally, but he starts to hide his face from D's view so D pins Y's wrists to the bed.

Just then, Y's phone begins to ring. Y breathlessly asks D to wait as he reaches for his phone, D's hand still around his wrist. D doesn't allow it and kisses Yashiro deeply (forcefully). The phone continues to ring and Y protests, saying that he has to answer. D gazes soberly at Y as he tries to reach for his phone again then kisses Y and grinds into him even harder. Y protests, but D ignores him. The phone continues to ring as D brings Y to completion and again they kiss deeply (forcefully?). Y tells D to take it out and it seems like he listens this time.

When they've finished and D is starting to put his clothes on, Y returns the missed call. It's not clearly stated, but it seems to be Nanahara on the phone (who doesn't think he's speaking to Yashiro because his voice is messed up from sex lol). Y directs Nana to tell Sugimoto to pick something up. He also tells Nana to think about where to release someone (we can deduce that he's talking about Yamakawa, but D doesn't know that).

Y tells D to leave if he already got what he came for. D tells Y that Sakuraikka plans to go after Kai and Ryuuzu to destroy them. Y doesn't seem surprised by that information. D tells Y that he's heard of someone in Y's orbit being attacked (presumably by Ryuuzu). Y confirms that it was his underling and continues to say that Ryuuzu and Doushinkai have been fighting for a while and that he needs to know the extent to which Ryuuzu and Okuyamagumi are entwined. D responds by saying definitively that the only connection between Okuyamagumi and Ryuuzu is Kai. Y looks slightly amused at D's authoritative declaration and asks him incredulously if he knows something. D responds by saying that Sakuraikka will take care of Ryuuzu and that Y has no need to get involved. Y says that it's true that Misumi has directed him to keep the appearance of not being involved. D pauses and asks why Misumi has chosen to share information about the situation with Y, even though Y is no longer fully a member of Doushinkai. Y looks just a bit wistful as he says, "That's the yakuza world. It's his way of collaring me." D seems to be pained by this though he doesn't show it.

Y then asks off handedly why D became a yakuza member, going so far as to get a huge tattoo. D looks truly surprised by the question (to me it looks like he's screaming, "Because of you, dummy!!" in his head lol), but he keeps his cool and says it's because it was the only path for him. D exits Y's place. After D's gone, Y says to himself that D had so many other paths he could have chosen.

The story turns to Kai and Ryuuzu. Nishio is beating the crap out of another of Kai's subordinates who is apologizing futilely for losing Yamakawa. Kai says that no matter if Yamakawa had help escaping or if he ran on his own, he's going to get it. He directs Nishio to set something up before their info gets handed over by Yamakawa, presumably to Sakuraikka.

The story then turns to Sakuraikka. It seems to be morning and Tsunakawa, Muraji, and Doumeki are walking the halls of the Sakuraikka estate. Muraji informs Tsuna that Yashiro suddenly contacted and said he was coming to visit. D looks concerned by this news as Tsuna says that he hasn't heard anything from Misumi about Y's visit. D's concern deepens.

Y (with Nana by his side) meets Tsuna who is accompanied by Muraji and Doumeki. Without any explanation, Y offers up a suitcase of money. Tsuna is confused and asks Y for an explanation. Y nonchalantly says it part of the money they lifted off Yamakawa. Tsuna is very surprised. Y continues to say that he coincidentally ran into Yamakawa (Yashiro, you liar!) and that's how he was able to get the cash.

Tsuna says he thought Yashiro (and Doushinkai) had stepped aside and were no longer involved. Y retorts that there's still money that needs to be accounted for and that he's due his fair share in accordance with the original deal Sakuraikka put forward when they first started working together (see volume 7 ch 42). Tsuna says that if they're operating under the original deal, there's more than enough money in the suitcase to cover what would be owed. Y says that he would feel awkward if he were to keep the money from the Yamakawa situation and not share it.

Tsuna scoffs at the idea that Y would feel awkward about anything and suspects that Misumi has a hand in whatever Y is trying to do. Y encourages Tsuna to just take what he can get, to which Tsuna replies that he wants Yamakawa.

It seems that Yashiro was waiting for this request and he gets a sly smile. With a light grin he tells Tsuna that he allowed Yamakawa to escape from Kai and Sakuraikka in exchange for the business Yamakawa was running. Tsuna is clearly pissed off by this news but he manages to keep it together. Muraji and Doumeki look visibly worried that Tsuna is going to blow up. Y continues to say that as long as he gets money he doesn't really care what happens, even if Yamakawa is captured again.

Tsuna takes a drag of his cigarette with a very annoyed look on his face. Finally Tsuna tells Y to just take the money. Y happily accepts (all according to Y's plan lol).

Later, Tsuna is complaining to Muraji about Y's attitude and the fact that Y made it seem like he was doing Tsuna a favor by bringing the cash (even after Doushinkai had promised to withdraw). Muraji comments that if info from Yamakawa leads Sakuraikka to crush Kai and Ryuuzu then it will also benefit Doushinkai. Muraji remarks that Y is a shrewd (cunning) person.

The scene shifts to Yashiro and Nanahara preparing to leave the Sakuraikka estate. D approaches and grabs Y's wrist and asks why Y didn't tell D about any of this (Yamakawa, the money etc). Y responds that it was D who told Y to withdraw in the first place, then Y gets a mean look in his eye and says, "Oh, those were orders from above, right? Do I have any reason to tell an underling like you something like this? Since when were you and I on equal footing? Don't get the wrong idea, just because we're sleeping together. " For a short moment D looks surprised by Y's words but that quickly fades into a resigned look.

Another of Sakuraikka's members comes to tell Doumeki to get to his post as a guard for a meeting that Tsuna is going to attend. Y and Nana are just exiting the estate as Tsuna, Muraji, and Doumeki also exit. Tsuna makes a comment to Y about how circuitous his methods were (referring to the shrewd way he used Yamakawa). Y pretends to not know what Tsuna is talking about.

Tsuna goes on to say that even though he doesn't like Y much himself Misumi seems to like Y. Tsuna suggests that Y return to Doushinkai full time. Y responds by asking if he and Tsuna can be friends if he rejoined Doushinkai full time. Tsuna takes it as a joke and says that's not his kind of hobby.

Just then, a van screeches up and a masked gunman opens fire on the group. A bullet grazes Tsuna's right arm. Muraji dives to protect Tsuna who's screaming at the gunman. Tsuna's eyes land on Doumeki who is no where near Tsuna (his boss and the man he's sworn to protect) and is instead covering Yashiro (Nana is totally useless wtf, lol).

Yashiro is stunned and confused to see Doumeki protecting him. Tsuna is yelling that D explain himself. Y tells D to let go of him, but D doesn't listen. The gunman drives off. D asks Y if he's injured, Y responds that he's not and that D really needs to get off. D doesn't respond and Y realizes that D has been shot in the left side of his chest.

And then the chapter ENDS.

j;lkasjdfkl;ajsdlf;kja;ls lol

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WOW, what a jam packed chapter. I can't wait for the next one! Yoneda-sensei's name is listed for the next issue so hopefully chapter 61 will be out on July 31st ^^

I'm gonna be totally honest, I feel like the Yakuza plot really takes a lot of inference to understand what's going on... But to me it seems like Yashiro's capture of Yamakawa (and the presumed information he had) has essentially made Doushinkai intrinsically involved in the whole "destroy Ryuuzu" situation. Also Yashiro got some money for himself out of the whole thing - money that, if Sakuraikka had also taken a portion, would have made Sakuraikka look bad because they were the ones who asked Doushinkai to withdraw. So aside from giving Doushinkai a reputation boost by attaching their name to the destruction of a rival group, Yashiro also managed to get back all the money he lost from the Kido thing (you guys remember him?? And the bird? lol) and then some.

But I could be misunderstanding. Yoneda-sensei has a way of making the Yakuza plot crystal clear in hindsight, but while the story is unfolding it's all a little murky lol

I'm wondering if the something Kai ordered Nishio to set up was this drive by shooting or if maybe something else is coming 👀

Also I can't wait to see poor Doumeki in the hospital. That sounds really terrible, but you know what I mean (right? right?).

Anyway, it's midnight here so I'll be going to bed. Sorry for any typos. <3

[artemisrisen]

each saezuru side character’s understanding of yashiro and doumeki’s relationship is so unique that I must pause all work and write out how each one involved in the inevitable fallout of chapter 60 views Doumeki and Yashiro’s relationship prior to the Reveal:

Doumeki - he is in love with yashiro and he knows this, has known this. however, his understanding of yashiro’s feelings is difficult to pinpoint. he likely knows that yashiro does not hate him and even that there are genuine feelings there, but he also knows that yashiro is tragically complicated and pushes people violently away when they get too close. it’s not known what his end goal is, apart from keeping yashiro safe.

summation: doumeki loves yashiro and that’s all he cares about, point blank period.

Yashiro - knew that doumeki 4 years ago had feelings for him - whether those feelings were “real” or situational in his mind is another story - but now believes that yakuza!doumeki does not hold him in the same regard and bitterly resents him. they have physical chemistry but he believes doumeki is also sleeping regularly with the club mama. despite all that, yashiro has finally realized that he is in love with doumeki and it hurts.

summation: yashiro believes that he loves someone who doesn’t love him back anymore. cue sondheim’s “send in the clowns”, etc

Nanahara - knows doumeki used to have feelings for yashiro, but now it’s far more confusing. he does think that doumeki hasn’t changed too much and will still take care of yashiro when needed. on the other side, he definitely believes that his boss has never had romantic feelings for anyone, least of all doumeki.

summation: doumeki is the only one who ever struggled with any romantic feelings. yashiro feels sorry for him at best.

Tsunakawa - is growing suspicious of doumeki’s true loyalties and definitely sees that doumeki may have a lingering attachment to his old boss. likely sees doumeki to be a typical straight yakuza who only likes women and the loyalty is strictly in yakuza terms. he also knows yashiro is gay and sleeps with men, but still inspires a deep loyalty with his subordinates. it’s unknown if he thinks there’s anything sexual happening, as he is never shown to be suspicious of it.

summation: no romance between them, just the usual yakuza relationship.

Muraji - there’s no way he wants to have any opinion on this, lol.

Amou - the only person who knows both sides!! he knows doumeki’s feelings for yashiro and assisted him with staying in yashiro’s world, and seems to know those feelings continue even now. never explicitly stated but seems to be very cognizant that yashiro is in love with doumeki as well.

summation: he knows the whole story. that’s why sensei gave him a 5/5 out of Intelligence in the fanbook when even yashiro only got a 4.5. HELP THEM, AMOU.

Misumi - super mega jealous of doumeki and knows doumeki is weirdly attached to yashiro. knows that yashiro finds doumeki physically attractive. knows when they get together it’s a bunch of bullshit and yashiro acts even more outlandish. wants to kill doumeki with a gun.

summation: he probably suspects something deeper, but also covers his ears a lot.

Kamiya - knows doumeki and yashiro used to hook up out of “circumstance” and that yashiro is gay. also saw yashiro forcefully choose doumeki when kamiya was the one assigned to bodyguard. he knows when doumeki is lying to him and has keeps a very keen eye on everything around him, including doumeki and yashiro.

summation: he knows enough. his homophobia is the only thing keeping yashiro and doumeki’s love affair private - he and amou together would have the whole timeline laid out in like 30 seconds. fucking men! can’t gossip for shit.

[artemisrisen]

I should be stressed about tsunakawa’s inevitably terrible reaction, but instead I’m just like ::seal clap:: more…MORE!!

I’m giddy as hell over this chapter and have so many feelings to process I don’t even know where to start, GOD I love saezuru

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I’m giddy as hell over this chapter and have so many feelings to process I don’t even know where to start, GOD I love saezuru

[artemisrisen]

i saw you and your male friend across the bar and noticed you're extremely weird about each other in various platonic and/or romantic ways Mind if i obsereve

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Nosferatu (2024) dir. Robert Eggers // Wanderer above the Sea of Fog (1818) by Caspar David Friedrich

[artemisrisen]

I can’t explain why this image is so funny to me but it is.

[artemisrisen]

In the event that you are reading this, something dreadful has occurred, which is not my own death, but rather the fact that we both now exist in two different worlds. Do not waste your life seeking revenge on the person or persons who did this. Do not give them the satisfaction of the hunt. Let treachery eat away at them from within. And you... you go carry on with your living. Know only this, mon cher, you are the only being I trust, and whom I love, above and beyond myself. All my love belongs to you. You are its keeper. A veil will now forever separate our union. But it is a thin veil. And I am always on the other side, face pressed up against your longing.