artificialduchess

[artificialduchess]

little gif i’m sticking here to put on my artfight profile…

screw tumblr filesize limits for absolutely DESTROYING the quality <\3

[artificialduchess]

finally submitted my coursework! now i’m back on my bullshit

(original under the cut)

[artificialduchess]

SORRY I HAVE BEEN DEAD AF. UNI WORK HAS BEEN BITING ME IN THE ASS BUT WHEN IT IS DONE I WILL RETURN TO MY HENRYPOSTING

[artificialduchess]

Happy Eliza Doolittle day everybody!

I made cake pops :D

[artificialduchess]

Got any headcanons for how Henry was raised as a child? Imo he was defo a huge brat.

here’s an answer in doodle form, because this ask made my brain go crazy! (his mother is a SAINT.)

as for my deeper thoughts… oh boy, this is so hideously specific and has everything to do with my 50,000 other headcanons for him LOL. please don’t take my word as god here!

light CW for abuse (if you can even call it that. i don’t know the public consensus on it, but i do.)

i think his parents are some degree of separated. i don’t think his dad is abusive, but i think he was used to dealing with child-henry’s “fits” (read: early-1900s meltdowns) in the only way he knew how (read: physical restraint).

the sort of “last straw” episode which led to the separation in the first place (doubt he would have been any older than 6-7?) scared henry to the point of the intense, pseudo-freudian dependence on his mother that shaw talks about (his saviour!), which he obviously carries into his adult life as she continues to coddle him. he does not keep in touch with his father and, quite frankly, does not want to! he gets the occasional letter in the post and remarks very loudly that the house was in need of more kindling.

i also imagine henry very much perceives himself, sheltered rich boy he is, as abused to the highest and heaviest degree due to the nature of this restraint… which i guess isn’t technically wrong, but it’s an exaggeration, and a VERY silly one. he is absolutely the kind of jackass to try and go toe-to-toe with eliza “a-few-licks-of-the-strap” doolittle about it (hence his outrage when she accuses him of being capable of striking her), and on occasion (if he’s in a really terrible mood) pickering’s fucking war trauma, which is even sillier.

outside of that context, i think kid-henry was a little unsocialised freak. he got a name for himself amongst his mother’s servants by hiding in kitchen cupboards with heavy books every time guests came around. his friends were in youth as they are in adulthood (few and far between), and most potential friends were drawn away by his natural i’m-better-than-you attitude.

with his mother’s help, he managed to get exactly one date at the tender age of 16, during which the girl accidentally confused phonetics and linguistics, a mistake so egregious in henry’s eyes that it made him immediately walk out of the restaurant. his mother has tried multiple times since then to find a nice girl for her pathetic son, to no avail—though that’s probably a good thing, if we’re all being honest, that no girl would wind up forced to deal with him unprepared.

(oh, and i don’t think he had a brother. i think he made that up to scare mr. doolittle away! he’s got too much only-child energy.)

[artificialduchess]

1) “my fair homos” is such a funny way to put it

2) if pick proposed to henry, he would do it by asking him to decipher a note in the latter’s universal alphabet that says ‘henry higgins, will you marry me?’.

henry would decipher it immediately— and, before pick even got the chance to respond, would laugh and say, “christ, what an odd note! no idea who the devil wrote it— perhaps mother’s trying to set me up with another girl? what a tomfoolery, that she still hasn’t figured out i don’t care for women. throw it in the trash, would you, pick?” and pick would die inside

Give me shitty Pygmalion/My Fair Homos headcannons pls (I am so bored)

[artificialduchess]

Life or bath for Henry Higgins cat?

Also Happy Eliza Doolittle day! :3

for reference

(and happy eliza doolittle day to you, too!!! :D)

[artificialduchess]

NEXT WEEK, ON THE 20TH OF MAYYYYYY

I PROCLAIM ELIZA DOOOOLITTLE DAAAYYYYYY!!!!!!

he wouldn’t take any cake… i think he’s still bitter

[artificialduchess]

thinking about stardew again… do you guys understand my vision?

[artificialduchess]

Headcanon: Henry is super smug about his linguistics knowledge but he quite literally only knows English. Meanwhile, Pickering is what Xiaoma wishes he was and is a hyperpolyglot

HC ACCEPTED,,, i raise to you that this is the REAL reason henry keeps shitting on karpathy. he’s afraid that the latter’s language skills are more in-line with pick’s fancies than his own are, and he’s afraid he couldn’t compete with that!!!!!!!

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he enjoyed the production, but seemed to come out of it with the opinions that:

a) henry was the main protagonist (OVER eliza)

b) that henry was in the right completely, and

c) that there was nothing even remotely feminist about the play itself.

very interesting critter indeed!

going to see an amateur production of pygmalion tonight, and i bought my dad a ticket so he would drive me there and back (it’s in the city over)………

…which is brilliant, in theory. In Practice, Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha

[artificialduchess]

if henry higgins (textbook autist) lived in the modern day, he’d find out about all those fancy adult communication card sets, think they were a damn fine idea, and make a set for himself. then whenever he’d try to use them, nobody would ever be able to understand what he’s trying to say, because his stupid ass would have written out EVERY SINGLE ONE of the key phrases in his universal alphabet

[artificialduchess]

going to see an amateur production of pygmalion tonight, and i bought my dad a ticket so he would drive me there and back (it’s in the city over)………

…which is brilliant, in theory. In Practice, Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha

[artificialduchess]

Idea: Eliza is a Teenage Dirtbag (like the Wheatus song) who listens to Iron Higgins and Freddy is Noel.

Eliza thinks he doesn’t give a damn about her, but on prom night, he goes up to her and he’s got two tickets to Iron Higgins baby. He’s just a Teenage Dirtbag like her.

i must apologise, because this is not in a million YEARS what you asked for. i switched freddy and eliza around, and there is tragically No iron higgins, baby. but this ask inspired me, and i went down a bit of a rabbithole, and i think the fever dream that came from it is really something, if i do say so myself.

i hope you enjoy… Whatever The Fuck This Is, even half as much as i did making it <\333

[artificialduchess]

Henry and Pickering as the hot yaoi base

i imagine it’s a bit like this

[artificialduchess]

Drawing request: Henry bouncin on it lololololol

average wimpole street shenanigans (he just found out about foley)