artvmix

[artvmix]

nina: why are jesper and wylan sitting with their backs to each other?

inej: they had a fight

nina: then why are they holding hands?

inej: they get sad when they fight

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cop: you’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle

jesper: shit

wylan: wait, three?

cop: yeah?

nina: OH MY GOD MATTHIAS FELL OFF!!!

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kaz: i think we're missing something

jesper: teamwork?

inej: cohesion?

matthias: a general sense of what we’re doing?

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jesper: why is matthias so sad?

nina: he took one of those “which crow are you?” quizzes

jesper: and...?

nina: he got kaz

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nina: why are your tongues purple?

jesper: we had slushies. i had a blue one

wylan: i had a red one

nina: oh

nina:

nina: OH

matthias:

matthias: you drank each other's slushies?

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david: isn’t it weird that we pay money to see other people?

genya: plane tickets?

nikolai: concert tickets?

zoya: prostitution?

david, holding his broken frames: glasses

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matthias: what does 'take out' mean?

nina: food

wylan: dating

kaz: murder

jesper: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOU'RE NOT A COWARD

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*everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*

kaz: so. who broke it? i'm not mad, i just wanna know

everyone:

inej: ...i did. i broke it

kaz: no. no you didn't. jesper?

jesper: don't look at me. look at matthias

matthias: what?! i didn't break it

jesper: huh, that's weird. how'd you even know it was broken?

matthias: because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken

jesper: suspicious

matthias: no, it's not!

wylan: if it matters, probably not, but nina was the last one to use it

nina: liar! i don't even drink that crap!

wylan: oh really? then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

nina: i use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. everyone knows that!

inej: okay let's not fight. i broke it. let me pay for it, kaz

kaz: no! who broke it!?

everyone:

wylan: kaz... kuwei's been awfully quiet

kuwei: rEALLY?!

*everyone starts arguing*

kaz, being interviewed: i broke it. i burned my hand so i punched it

kaz: i predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick

kaz:

kaz: good. it was getting a little chummy around here

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inej: good morning

wylan: good morning

matthias: good morning

nina: you all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit

jesper: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS

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jesper: bye wylan! bye kaz! bye matthias! bye inej! bye nina! bye wylan!

inej: you said ‘bye wylan’ twice

jesper: i like wylan

[artvmix]

matthias: nothing in life is free

nina: love is free!

jesper: adventure is free

wylan: knowledge is free

kaz: everything is free if you take it without paying

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matthias: what did you guys get in your yearbook?

nina: 'prettiest smile'

wylan: 'nicest personality'

jesper: 'most likely to start a bar fight'

inej: 'least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

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nina: is having a penis fun?

matthias: it has its ups and downs

jesper: sometimes it’s a little hard

wylan: it’s a pain in the ass

nina: oh, jesus, fuck, guys, come on

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nina: why isn’t the statue smirking at me?

inej: it isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it

nina: three of us saw it, inej. how do you explain that?

inej: *points at kaz* sleep deprivation. *points at wylan* paranoia. *points at jesper* delusional personality disorder

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wylan: we’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what nina will and will not eat

jesper: grass? yes!

wylan: moss? yes!!

jesper: leaves? ohh, yes!

wylan: shoelaces? strange but true!

jesper: worms? sometimes!

wylan: rocks? usually nah

jesper: twigs? usually!

wylan: kaz's cooking? inconclusive!

matthias: how did you… test this?

wylan: you just hand her stuff and say ‘eat this’ and if she eats it, she eats it

matthias: ... i don’t know how to feel about this

inej: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?

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jesper: when i go to jail, i'm changing my name to 'mitochondria' because-

inej: mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell. yes, we get it

nina: that's genius!

wylan: is no one else going to bring up the fact that he said 'when', and not 'if'?

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wylan: there are seven chairs and ten kids. what do you do?

matthias: have everyone stand

nina: bring three more chairs!

jesper: the most important ones can sit down

kaz: kill three