ascendingdread7 - Tumblr blog

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You’re a daycare worker, watching over toddlers, when the imminent end of the world is announced. It becomes increasingly clear none of the kids’ parents are going to show up as the end inches nearer.

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As a part of my October Celebration of Creativity, I am hosting a giveaway for my debut novel, The Mist Keeper’s Apprentice!

But this giveaway is special. This celebrates 100-sales of my book! I hit this milestone in September, and after 3-months without any live promotions, I was extremely happy to hit this number!

So to celebrate this…I am giving away 3 eBook editions and 1 SIGNED HARDBACK COPY of The Mist Keeper’s Apprentice!

How do you enter? Details below!

First, make sure you are following @esbarrison-writing​

Then, reblog this post.

It’s that easy!

I’ll announce each eBook winners on the 9th, 16th, and 23rd. I will not be announcing the hardback winner until October 30th!

You can also enter on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook!

Keep reading

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messy thing just to get my thoughts down

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❤️

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“If autism isn’t caused by environmental factors and is natural why didn’t we ever see it in the past?”

We did, except it wasn’t called autism it was called “Little Jonathan is a r*tarded halfwit who bangs his head on things and can’t speak so we’re taking him into the middle of the cold dark forest and leaving him there to die.”

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credit goes to: tiktok account-@riskhappy, idk if she has a youtube channel or anything

anyway this is pretty funny so enjoy

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finding out that almost all other animals don’t have periods like we do and instead simply reabsorb the egg back into their uterine lining to reuse the nutrients is like finding out the rest of the class has been taking WILDLY easier tests than you for the whole semester

like, hey, cat why don’t you have to use your Cat Dollars to invest in tampons? And cat is just like: fuck that noise, my body is OPTIMAL for not being made of inconvenient nonsense, sucks to be you

wack.

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A wild corgi appears! 

(via)

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i think about this a lot

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When I was in second grade I became mildly obsessed with handwriting analysis. After reading a couple of books on graphology, I started to feel skeptical about divining a stranger's potential to be a serial killer from the way they wrote their lowercase d. But this was several years before Google, and our encyclopedia didn't have anything in it about graphology, so I figured I'd have to put my studies into practice if I wanted to find out whether it was a real thing.

I decided the best way to do this was to intentionally make my handwriting as Evil as possible. My current handwriting apparently showed that I was outgoing (large print) and emotional (looping cursive and a rightward slant), and didn't have any of the classic hallmarks of Serial Killer Handwriting, like pointed letters or irregular size and capitalization. I would have to adopt a lot of different habits if I wanted my letters to convey that I was capable of murder.

My theory was that if I succeeded in drastically changing the way I wrote, either anybody could have very Evil Looking handwriting if they felt like it, thereby making graphology meaningless, or the physical act of writing in an Evil way would influence my thoughts and I would notice myself taking on the traits exemplified by my new penmanship (physical aggression, untrustworthiness, antisocial behavior).

I don't actually remember what I concluded after changing my handwriting, but this is what I think about whenever someone tells me I write my D's, E's, and Y's weird.

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this is simply the greatest video i have ever seen

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Husky getting nervous at his first swimming lesson

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Uh idk who is cuter

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Let’s Have Another Bullet Point Story, Courtesy of a Friend

So I have a friend that used to be in the tumblers troupe at the renfaire as a contortionist

We were chatting online and she told me to tell you all this story.

I love Kat dearly

but she forgets that she’s stupid strong and hypermobile

so one day she throws her back out

bad enough that she needed painkillers and couldn’t stand upright

“But also I needed Tampons and like.  A Burrito, real bad.”

she’s flat on her back in her apartment when she decides this

and, in an

impeccable

leap of reasoning, decides

“I can’t roll my back forward to sit/stand up like normal.

But I can ARCH my back just fine.

SO 

I’m going to do that and get on my hands and feet in a stomach-in-the-air this-shit-belongs-in-a-horror-movie-type pose,

And amble on down to the 7-11”

“And get me that Burrito”

It is, 

for context, 

after midnight in July during a wildfire so it’s hot as satan’s own asshole and the moon is red and shit’s already generally cursed.

Imagineyou are some poor sap working nights at the world’s deadest 7-11, and you hear the door jangle but you don’t see anyone’s head over the counters.

Whatever.

Except you keep hearing noises like there’s someone in the next aisle over.  

Fucking around in the burrito section

It’s also worth mentioning that Kat

1. sings whatever earworm is currently running through her head when she’s not paying attention

2. sounds EXACTLY like some kind of creepy child from a horror movie when doing so

tonight’s song is something from veggietales.

DUDE ACTUALLY STANDS HIS GROUND

and/or is really fucking high and isn’t sure if he’s tripping balls or notanyway

Kat goes up to pay for her burrito and tampons

She realizes the counter presents something of a challenge, and then demonstrates for me on her kitchen table at 4AM during a different july wildfire, 

exactly 

how she used the shelves to climb up the counter 

like one of the boston robotics beasties

dude stares at her for like, five minutes and says.

“Register’s broke.”

“Oh No!” Says Kat. “Just Take ‘em.” “Really?  I can leave cash-you don’t have to give me change I don’t want you to get in trouble with your manager.” “…Nah.” “Oh!  OK!  Thank you!” “Yeah ok bye.”

Shortly after she arrived back at the apartment, she got a text on her phone from the campus security about  "A Suspicious Individual” at tle 7-11. 

It took her 

FOUR

FUCKING 

YEARS

 to realize she was the suspicious individual

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D’yever go for a nap thinking “this’ll help clear my head” and you wake up worse than you were before? Yeah.

Also apologies if you see me putting the wrong words in places or getting words mixed up with others. I’ve been having a silent migraine (migraine without pain but all the other symptoms) for the last few days and sometimes my words get mixed up when this happens. So if I say something and it makes no sense, it’s me not you, feel free to ask for clarification lol

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Sportscaster Dale Hansen defends student wrestler Mack Beggs and takes a stand against transphobia