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the paranoia that has inflicted me . gf and i sitting on the porch talking and its pitch black. theres a weird cry noise n im like Okay i will not acknowledge this n then she asks if i heard that. OK time to go back inside !

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i love living in the US with my transphobic grandfather and unable to leave . i love that HRT is actually unsafe for me !

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i got guy bpd which means im just evil

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i also havent slept. #realness

i got constructive criticism by a professor on an assignment i didnt even try on and, yet, it has triggered me deeply

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i got constructive criticism by a professor on an assignment i didnt even try on and, yet, it has triggered me deeply

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nothing feels worth it anymore. i should just lay down and die at this point. what difference would it make

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i am not a narcissist or antisocial but i understand these people

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i fear i am a terrible person who has done everything selfishly

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wow i just realized i am incredibly lonely and i dont really mind it because i have my girlfriend and talk to my coworkers sometimes

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it doesnt tear at me as much anymore, but there is still a wound that wont heal. a gap that wont be filled. i fear the pain will come back once i lose the distraction of my classes

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afraid that by the time i can transition, it’ll be too late

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still doesnt feel real. like, i expect her to be in her seat when i get home

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i feel like a shell, trying to imitate the living by stuffing myself full of cotton and pretending its the same as the meat and blood in those around me

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Jeannie Vanasco, The Glass Eye

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I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT HEAVEN A LOT LATELY by judas h.

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before she died, i wrote a hundred poems detailing how i thought it might feel. i pictured my grief in countless faces. i practiced eulogies and cried after every visit, terrified it would be the last. one day it was, and now i have no eloquency to guide me through it, no pretty words to express the heartache. before she died, i wrote a hundred poems about loss. and now, all i can come up with are three words. i miss her. i miss her. i miss her.