ashegaby - Tumblr blog

[ashegaby]

Me and my friends for the next 8 months...😅

[ashegaby]

IDK WHY YALL HATED THAT END SCENE?????

Tim ACKNOWLEDGED he ruined everything (which HE DID) and then said he will spend THE REST OF HIS LIFE making it up to her in whatever doses SHE allows, bc he KNOWS she can only take him little by little right now (I mean she couldn’t even be in the same room as him)

He KNOWS he screwed up AND that it’s HER decision now how they move forward.

We obviously know they’re endgame, so this is the right direction.

What’d y’all expect??? Her allowing him access to her after he shattered her heart??? Nah huh. Doesn’t work like that.

[ashegaby]

Haven’t been here in a while but I need to vent, whether you disagree with me or not.

The breakup was rough, unnecessary, heartbreaking. I’m not afraid to say Chenford was the reason why I started the show and the reason why it became my whole personality. I fell in love with other characters along the way, sure, but I watch the show for them.

So for the show to break them up was just so sad for me because this was my first time watching a season live.

Took me weeks to come to terms with it and once I did, I’m actually kind of okay with the fact that it happened.

I wasn’t going to stop watching the show because they broke up, or say they ruined years of character development because none of Tim’s traumas have ever been resolved. They brush over them and move on to the next plot. It was, in Tim’s twisted mind, an act of love to let her go.

That being said, what worried me the most was the way they were going to handle it. If they already took this massive risk with (lets be real) their main couple, they have to fix it in a substantial way.

Did I want a kiss, a hug, an acknowledgment that they will make their way back to each other in this episode? Sure, who didn’t.

But I actually like the way they did it.

His look of realization during the truck scene that no matter in what capacity, she’s going to show up and be his partner. The way he spoke to her in the shop, admitting that he took her advice and is going to therapy is the conversation we were hoping for. Lets not talk about “freak in the sheets” because that would take me another lengthy post to discuss.

And that final elevator scene left so much to be hopeful for. Its an apology, a raw display of emotion that he is grateful for her. That she saved him and she deserves that recognition. That he wants to make it up to her but its still leaving the ball in her court. Its her move next, her decision, her choice, in whatever small doses she will allow.

Anyways, sorry for my rant, I just feel nostalgic, because we don’t get them back for 8 months, but I’m excited to see where they take things from here.

Also if you haven’t had a chance yet, read this interview https://t.co/sqGIDyJDxb , its so hopeful and it shows how much Mel and Eric care about their characters.

[ashegaby]

i cannot emphasise enough how much you need to create something. anything. it doesn't matter if you suck. you don't need to monetise it, or make it your career. you can restart an old hobby; you can start from scratch. it doesn't matter. you just need to hold something and be able to say "i did that". baking, drawing, painting, writing, coding, crafts, whatever. make something ! you cannot have all your hobbies be a form of consumption. it's fun, it's great in its own right. but the single best action to make yourself feel better, to calm your mind, to gain self esteem, is to Create

[ashegaby]

We should come up with some fun events do to over hiatus

I was thinking of doing a fandom series watch, over hiatus since it’s long and we’ll have the time

But we should do other do, so we’re less sad about 7 months between seasons 😂😂

[ashegaby]

“are you okay?” “I am now” SOMEBODY SEDATE ME I’M SOBBINGGG

[ashegaby]

Rewatching season 1 for fic writing purposes and I forgot how big of a jump scare Nolan and Lucy’s relationship was 💀(I’m also just a bit salty we never got scenes like that with Chenford)

Also the Bishop-Lopez-Bradford dynamic was top tier and I wish that had continued with Nyla once Bishop left :(

[ashegaby]

Let me gush over that last scene for a bit because there was something magical in the way it was filmed and acted… The cinematography… with Kojo sitting behind the door waiting for Lucy, pretty much the same way he did after he destroyed her apartment and she came home - which, incidentally, was also the first time Tim set foot in her place… With the nod to the history these two share in this hallway : Tim's moment of clarity after their practice kiss, the time where they almost crossed that line after Vegas, that breakup scene (that technically wasn't a breakup but felt like one)… Only now, they are further apart than they have ever been, not even standing in the same hallway, not even facing one another. Separated by walls - literally and metaphorically… And yet, the song in the background gives a more hopeful tone to this… "All this trouble's only gonna last for a while".

And the emotions… The way Lucy lit up when she saw Kojo was so heartwarming… Before it slowly became heartbreaking when her tears feel down… It was painful in an almost cathartic way. If I'm not mistaken, we haven't seen her really cry since that fateful night. And Tim's face… It was like he finally let himself feel all those emotions he has tried to contain and pretend weren't there ever since. There have been some glimpses here and there but I could truly see beyond his wall here. There was pain, there was regret… and I'd like to think that he was starting to comprehend what he has done. Which would be a fitting parallel to his epiphany after that kiss if this is indeed what happened. And then, there's the gift… It was perfect because it came from him. Up until his conversion with Aaron, he wasn't planning on doing anything to mark Lucy's birthday, aware of how this could make things worse and hurt her… But deep down, he knew he couldn't not do anything either. He couldn't let her think he didn't even care, not after all the hurt he has already caused her. So in the end, sending Kojo was perfect. To me, what made this so special was how symbolic this was. This felt like a subtle reminder of their past, of their bond… of what made them them, while respecting her boundaries. This gift wasn't about him or trying to win her back or anything of the sort. This was all about Lucy and letting her know that she is loved.

[ashegaby]

One thing that gutted me last night was when Kojo ran back to Tim. I can't decide if he was thinking "Come on Mom, Dad's over here!" or if it was "Dad, Mom's waiting for you, come on."

[ashegaby]

I KNEW HE WAS GONNA GET HER SOMETHING BUT OH MY GOD I NEVER EXPECTED IT TO BE A BIRTHDAY CARD FROM KOJO DELIVERED BY KOJO

THAT WAS SO INCREDIBLY CUTE AND HEARTFELT AND JUST FUCKED ME OVER

[ashegaby]

Here’s the thing. Obviously everyone is allowed to have whatever opinions and interpretations of the characters and share those on their own page. We’re all entitled to our feelings.

But here’s the other thing. Many of us are here because we relate to these characters in some way. Personally, I relate very strongly to certain aspects of Tim and I also relate very strongly to certain aspects of Lucy. I share a lot of both of their traumas and I’ve made my fair share of decisions and mistakes in my life because of that trauma.

(I’m not saying what I did was okay. It wasn’t. But it happened.)

So when I see posts or comments about how awful Tim is right now or how he deserves to be miserable, one of the main things I’m taking away from that isn’t your opinion of Tim. It’s the realization that if you ever got to know me, you’d probably have the same thoughts. It’s that if I made a similar mistake, this is the kind of reaction I can expect from you. It’s that you’re probably not someone I would want to build any kind of relationship with, given your apparent lack of effort to try to understand the nuance and complexities of human behavior and trauma.

Again, we’re all entitled to our own opinions. I’m not invalidating anyone’s feelings and I’m not saying we can’t have respectful disagreements. My point is, when you say hateful things, or when you say things in a hateful way, you need to understand the unintentional messages you’ll be sending and the fact that you very well may be alienating some of the people around you.

[ashegaby]

One thing I'm noticing in some of the fandom reactions to this breakup and the aftermath is that the characters have been put on a pedestal and are being judged against some pretty unrealistic standards. They get raked over the coals for every single mistake. I've seen it with both characters but recently I've seen it the most with Tim.

Don't get me wrong, in no way am I condoning his current behavior. He's made multiple mistakes and he's broken Lucy's trust and her heart. He absolutely needs to be held accountable for all of these things and he owes her an apology and that adult conversation and a whole lot more if they're gonna be able to be together again.

But what he's doing right now, his imperfect actions as he navigates this period of his life... it's very human. This is a man who is at rock bottom, and when you're drowning in the weight of your own trauma like he is, you often don't have the strength to see beyond that and understand how your actions are impacting the people around you. He's not being cruel (which, by the way, implies intentionality to one's actions) by breaking up with her or denying her that conversation. He's drowning.

He truly can't see that she's *not* better off without him. He can't see how much he's hurt her, and that he continues to hurt her with his actions. I don't even think he could answer her questions right now about why he did what he did, because he doesn't fully understand it himself. He can't see anything beyond his own lack of self-worth. Right now, expecting him to be able to fully comprehend what he's done and why is completely unrealistic.

Now, does this excuse his behavior? Absolutely not. But it does explain it.

And the thing that's bothering me the most is the posts saying Tim doesn't deserve Lucy's forgiveness. This is a man who has completely fallen apart but is finally taking the first steps toward healing. Shouldn't he be given a chance at redemption before being written off as unforgivable? And shouldn't Lucy be the one to decide whether to forgive him?

Again, I'm not defending his actions. He has a lot of work to do on himself and he has a lot of work to do to gain back Lucy's trust. It's not going to be easy. But to say he doesn't deserve forgiveness without even giving him a chance? That's pretty harsh. He doesn't deserve to spend the rest of his life being defined by his worst moments. No one does.

[ashegaby]

Why would a man struggling with the decisions he’s made his whole adult life go to the effort of asking for help, and then make the decision to sleep with his therapist? Just… why?

[ashegaby]

I can't even explain how much I love everything about Grey and what he's doing this episode. He knows the people under his command, and he cares about them. He's a father figure to Tim, especially, and it's so amazing that he's this invested in making sure the people under his command, aka his kids, are taken care of. He's always taken a special interest in Tim and Lucy as individuals and as a professional and personal duo and I love to see it

[ashegaby]

wait omg, lowkey playing catch up here with connecting the dots but alkdfjasdlfk what grey said to lucy about who she needed to have that conversation with ... that's gonna be where they leave chenford off at the finale, isn't it??? because of the interviews they've given and also because tim's been in therapy, he'll actually be able to have this conversation with her????

[ashegaby]

😭😭😭😭

Chenford in the future:

Lucy: (introducing Tim to someone) This is my ex-boyfriend, Tim Bradford.

Tim: Will you stop doing that. I’m literally your husband.

[ashegaby]