ashryne

[ashryne]

Adventure Awaits

A few days ago I posted my thoughts on 2016. After reflecting on those thoughts, there are some things I would like to correct. It was a good year.

The career I had was interesting as it allowed me to travel. I was able to catch some awesome Pokemon in Pokemon GO from different areas. Even though it ended up not being the career for me, I still appreciate the experience and the lessons it taught me.

One lesson I learned is called the law of attraction. Thinking about something causes it to be. For example, if I tell myself today will be a great day, then I will be attracting that to happen. The meetings taught me to strive for failure, because you have to fail to succeed. When learning a skill you will fail several times before you find success. Every failure is one step closer.

The most important part of 2016 may also be the most important event of my life. I met someone that felt as if she were from a dream. She was perfect in every way I could imagine. But, because of events that had unfolded, it just was not the right time. However, she taught me many things about myself.

Though things may not have panned out at that time I do not give up hope for the future. It would be wrong to try and stop someone I love from dealing with things that need to be handled. Love is patient. If things rekindle, they would be so much stronger than before.

The year may not have been exactly as I would have wanted but it did teach me many things. I am thankful for that.

Thank you to everyone that has been a part of my life no matter what role you play. I appreciate all of you. I have a lot to learn in life but these lessons have been humbling to me. 

[ashryne]

Much Needed Rant

  It has been quite some time since I posted, but I have a lot to vent and no one to vent it to. So I write.

  2016 has been one of the best years of my life and one of the most painful. There had been a few highs (possibly some of the highest points of my life) but downs as well.

  I have this bad tendency to hold onto things too tightly when I care about them. There is a fear of loss; which, funny enough causes the loss to happen. There is this thought I can never get out of my mind “This is too good to be true.. everything is great. There must be something bad. I’m going to end up losing all of this.” Those thoughts lead to exactly that, losing things I come to love.

  That is a big problem I have and why I avoid connecting with people. For a lot of my life, I avoided people because I was afraid of getting close to them and getting hurt or hurting them. When I let someone into my life, I become very committed and loyal to them. I take promises made and words said extremely serious. Words like “I’ll be there for you” and “I care about you.”

  What hurts me more than anything is broken promises, empty words, hypocrisy and lies. I don’t just get hurt, I get completely destroyed. But, despite that I forgive very easily especially if it is someone I had let become a part of my life. Unfortunately, it tends to happen often.

  People love to say what you want to hear to prevent hurting you, but eventually the truth comes out and when it does it hits much harder.

  The previous year consisted of great moments. For the first time in my life, I had what I always wanted; a family. It was a moment in my life I would never want to forget, because there may not be another like it. I love and appreciate every member of that family, no matter what happened or happens.

  I learned quite a few things about myself over the duration of the year. When I have something to strive for, I do everything I can for them and give them everything I can. But, I make mistakes. I became so blinded by the beautiful dream I was living that I forgot I am still alive and it is not a dream.

  I’ve always felt that communication is key in all aspects of life which has been proven to me time and time again with people. So many issues could be resolved if there is good communication. That doesn’t mean giving someone vague signals and getting angry when they don’t understand. No, that means sitting down and actually talking with someone to find a resolution. Poor communication is the biggest factor in destroying relationships and even friendships. 

  There has been a lot of pain over the past few years. I have given up on life many, many times. I wont deny that I still have, but the “easy option” is never so easy. 

  We cannot control others. If they wish to leave your life, they will. But we have to remember the ones that actually matter stay and are there supporting you while others leave and hurt you. All we can do is live our life the way we feel is right and hope the people that are worthwhile will come into it.

[ashryne]

Watch Silver get unnecessarily mad at Arkansas! 8D

[ashryne]

Designs for my ToX inspired story

First I’d like to give credit to the original characters designers, Mutsumi Inomata and Kousuke Fujishima, if not for their beautiful characters this story wouldn’t be happening.

Keep reading

[ashryne]

Streaming is Awesome

I have a confession. I love streaming. Okay, maybe that was a bit obvious. I still cannot believe I have over 1,000 followers from doing something I love to do. I greatly appreciate the support I’ve received. 

I’ve always wanted to develop a community of amazing people; someplace where we can all connect and discuss different topics, not just the game being played. Lately, I’ve been seeing just that. No matter what game I play my chat has been friendly and social with one another. New people feel welcome and enjoy joining in the discussions.

I’ve developed close friendships with a few other streamers which have been very beneficial. We have been able to collaborate together and bring our viewers together, which benefits everyone. I have met some amazing individuals and made some great friends.

I’ve had a few goals in mind for streams. One of the biggest goals I’ve had is to help out in a cause that needs assistance. Right now, I’m not able to stream often due to situations but when I return to streaming regularly I will be occasionally doing charity streams. 

I would like to help out as much as possible, and extend the same to anyone that would like to as well. I’m not sure yet exactly which charity, but I’ll be looking into it more and doing some planning. I hope to collaborate with other streamers and make this a fun experience. If you’re a streamer and would like to join in a group effort to raise money for a charity, we might be able to plan something.

Regardless, streaming has been an amazing experience. I’ve met great people who are like-minded and have had some fantastic conversations. I want to thank every one of you who have contributed to my channel growth in some way or another. I’ll see you all in the next stream or around twitch.

[ashryne]

[ashryne]

Announcement

I’m sorry to have to say this but as of last night I am stepping down from the late night crew. It’s been an absolute blast, I’ve had a world of fun and it’s turned my life around. I’ve gone from being no one to having all you guys as friends and it’s been amazing.

So its a shame but the place has become rather toxic of late. I’ve been left feeling uncomfortable and unwelcome. The streams feel awkward. My self confidence has tanked and I end up feeling shitty and depressed every single stream. I can’t keep this up. I’m so, so sorry guys.

Out of respect I won’t name names or point fingers as to why I’m leaving. I hope to see you guys around.

It’s been one hell of a ride and I wish it didn’t have to end.

See you round.

[ashryne]

[ashryne]

[ashryne]

Happy Easter!

[ashryne]

This is how I celebrate Marriage Equality

[ashryne]

Obviously. | Yandere Simulator

[ashryne]

have you ever seen two bunnies fight before?

[ashryne]

The art may not be the best but the message is clear enough

[ashryne]

Date someone who will

wake up at 4am just to listen to you talk about a bad dream you just had

tease you for little things just to apologize six million times when you act upset

be nervous to kiss you for the first time because they don’t want to fuck up 

touch your butt 

offer to buy you a book that you absolutely love, and insist when you tell them no

watch your favorite movies with you even if they don’t like them

let you give them too much information and just listen to you talk for hours 

stay up until you fall asleep just because they want to talk to you

share your love for dogs

talk about animals with you for hours 

make you laugh even if it’s 2:30am and you’re laying in bed crying because you sat there and over thought

reassure you that they care and will always be there for you

tell you that they think you’re cute when you get angry at a video game 

laugh with you 

claim to not know what you’re talking about just so they can watch as you struggle to explain it just to tell you they already know and just think you’re adorable 

Most importantly, date someone who makes you happy. 

[ashryne]

[ashryne]

Was not expecting that at all